


Two Friends Like Us

by 09cityskylights



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: All that stuff, Alternate - Freeform, Alternate Reality, Camping, Canon Continuation, Choosing Careers, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Field Trip, Fighting Feelings, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Future, Graduation, Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, Highschool AU, Highschool Relationship, Ian/Mickey, Lakeside, M/M, POV Ian Gallagher, POV Mickey Milkovich, Post-Graduation, Secret Relationship, Shameless AU, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Surprises, Teamwork, Teens, friend zoned, hot af, part time jobs, partners, ratings vary by chapter, same setting, school days, some depression/anxiety, some role reversal, time apart and reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 101
Words: 260,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/09cityskylights/pseuds/09cityskylights
Summary: *ORIGINALLY NAMED IAN GALLAGHER'S CLASS TRIP TO OAK FOREST CAMPGROUNDS**Fic is Complete*Ian ends up spending a lot of time during a class trip with a previously distant classmate of his, one who he secretly finds very attractive. Ian knows that nothing could ever happen between them, so he tries to hide his interest all day.Until he can't.A long highschool and beyond AU fic where Mickey and Ian go through the normal trials of teenage life and more, together.Youtube Video Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UirOfBlLi7ISpotify playlist of songs from fic by KBridgette: https://open.spotify.com/user/kristenbridgette/playlist/5EPduzGCD4SqPT9Z9eNZpg





	1. Ian Gallagher's Class Trip to Oak Forest Campgrounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The original one-shot in which Ian's grade 11 class goes on a field trip to Oak Forest campgrounds. Mickey ends up being his partner for the day, and they learn some interesting things about each other.

Ian Gallagher shifts onto the last empty seat at the very back of the school bus, pleased to see that he gets the whole thing to himself after being the last student in line waiting to get on. He tosses his backpack onto the empty space on the seat beside himself and stretches his neck a bit to look up to the front of the bus, where his teacher, Mrs. Lowry, is still trying to shush the chattering of all her excited students. Finally, she manages to raise her voice over the commotion.

“ _Alright 11 th Graders!_ If I can have your attention for a moment please, _yes_ \- that means you too Mitchell, please be quiet. So, our field trip today to the Oak Forest Campgrounds is going to be- _Mickey_?” the teacher sighs, looking down the bus steps at someone who has apparently arrived late. “Mickey, you never brought back your signed form, you can’t go on the trip without it”.

Ian watches as Mickey Milkovich comes bounding up the bus stairs, waving a crumpled and bent sheet of paper in his hand as he does. He belches loudly, “Here”. He thrusts the paper at the unimpressed teacher.

She rolls her eyes as she looks at it, knowing like the rest of the class that he had probably forged the messy signature on it, but she apparently decides not to waste any more time arguing about it, “Please take a seat Mickey, we’re just about to leave”.

Mickey saunters down the aisle of the school bus, past all the full seats, until he narrows his eyes at the very last empty space behind Ian, who has been watching him approach with some interest. “Move” he says to Ian, who picks up his backpack to make room beside himself. “No Gallagher, move over. I’m taking the window side”.

Ian scrambles across the seat awkwardly as Mickey bends over slightly to squeeze past him, Ian’s eyes widening slightly as he does. Mickey, who of course didn’t see that, throws himself down into the seat and stares out the window with his arms crossed casually, shifting down into the seat comfortably as Mrs. Lowry continues speaking to the class.

“As I was saying, it’s about an hour drive to the campgrounds, so while you can talk to your neighbors during the trip, let’s keep the volume to a reasonable level so our driver can concentrate please!” The perky teacher finally takes her seat at the front of the bus, behind the driver, who pulls the bus into motion, drifting slowly out of the parking lot before hitting the road.

Ian cradles his heavy backpack uncomfortably on his lap before putting it down on the ground in front of himself, thinking about the boy now sitting beside him on the bus.

Mickey Milkovich was a year older than him, but because he’d been held back a year before for skipping too often, he was in the same grade as Ian. Mickey lived near Ian’s neighborhood in the South Side too, so he saw him around often. But they rarely, if ever, talked. Sometimes Mickey would come bug him for answers during class, but other than that they didn’t interact much. Not that Ian wouldn’t like to, he thinks, as he sneaks a shy glance at the dark-haired boy sitting beside him.

“Um, why didn’t you bring your backpack?” Ian asks awkwardly, trying to think of what to say. Mickey glances over at him, eyebrow arched, surprised Ian is talking to him. His vivid blue eyes are breathtaking up close…

“Don’t need to” he shrugs, yawning.

“We’re camping overnight”, Ian reminds him. “Yeah, I know. Can ya shut up please? I’m hungover, need to sleep”. And with that Mickey closes his stunning blue eyes, and leans back against the seat, his legs spread apart slightly as he eventually starts to breathe more slowly and deeply.

Ian glances around the rest of the school bus. The rest of his classmates are all busy chatting with each other and tossing stuff across the bus, like notes and snacks. The two kids directly across the aisle from him are absorbed into their portable Nintendo’s. Ian pops his headphones in and turns on his iPod to listen to some music, but after a while he can’t help but look over at Mickey again, who is now definitely asleep.

His arms are still crossed across his dark grey tank topped chest, putting his impressive biceps even more clearly on display. The hand that has “FUCK” tattooed onto it by Mickey himself is facing Ian, and he runs his eyes slowly over each black letter on the boys slightly dirty hand, before shyly glancing at his face again.

His dark black hair and eyebrows stand out in an attractive contrast against his pale white skin. His blue eyes are closed of course, but Ian notes the delicate eyelashes resting against his face. Ian continues travelling down Mickey’s face, noticing there are some very light brown freckles around his nose and cheeks.  His nose is narrow and strong, his entire face angular and yet somewhat round at the same time. Ian’s green and curious eyes then flicker towards the boy’s mouth. His pink and perfect lips are parted slightly as he continues to doze.

Okay, Ian feels a little creepy staring at Mickey like this, but it’s the only chance he’s ever gotten being this close to Mickey without Mickey being able to swing a punch at him _for_ staring. It’s weird seeing him this peaceful. It’s actually probably the longest that Ian’s ever been around Mickey without hearing him swear or threaten someone.

Ian smiles inwardly to himself at this amusing thought and starts to turn away from Mickey, sure that someone will notice him staring if he continues. But as he forces his eyes away from Mickey’s face and tries to face forward, they pass over a very noticeable bulge in Mickey’s baggy jeans on the way. Ian gulps, and quickly glances around the rest of the bus, making sure everyone is still completely unaware of what’s going on in the back seats, before turning his gaze back onto Mickey’s jeans.

Jesus... he must be at full fucking mast to be showing _like that_ in those loose jeans... Ian wonders what Mickey is dreaming about, and he bites his lip, feeling his own dick starting to stir with interest in his jeans. He quickly moves his backpack to cover his semi. Lucky he did too. The bus suddenly hits a pothole on the road and sways, bouncing all of the students in their seats. Mickey jolts awake from the impact, “What you starin at?” he asks, rubbing his eyes, as he squints up at Ian.

Ian quickly looks away, “Uh nothing. You said something in your sleep, I was just- I just looked over at you when you said it”.

Without looking he can tell Mickey is quickly straightening up in the seat and then rearranging himself. Mickey just grunts in response to Ian’s explanation and Ian’s racing heart starts to slow as he realizes Micky hadn’t caught on to what he was actually looking at. _Phew that was close._

The school bus pulls into the Oak Forest campgrounds and the teacher stands, asking for volunteers to help her unload the tents from underneath the bus. Only two kids volunteer, and she looks at Ian hopefully, as he is usually one of the more helpful ones in class. He squirms a bit, hoping Mickey won’t think he’s a loser as he gets up. To his surprise though, Mickey follows him off the bus, and helps their teacher pull out the heavy bundled tents from the bus’s under storage compartments.

His cooperative mood apparently ends there though, as he pulls out a smoke and a lighter from his pocket, and sparks up in front of the teacher as the rest of the class piles off the bus around them.

She sighs, “Mickey, you can’t be smoking here. Give me that please”. Mickey blows smoke at her, “Bite me”. “Mickey, remember that English essay you never handed in that I very kindly allowed you to skip? Unless you want to actually write it, I suggest you hand me the rest of your cigarettes”. Mickey glares at her, those ice blue eyes looking like they could turn someone to stone, but she doesn’t budge at all. He slowly pulls the packet out from his jeans and slaps them into her hand.

“Good. Alright students, we are going to start out by the lake with some canoeing! Everyone find a partner, or form a group of three please”.

Ian turns to Mickey, asking as casually as he can, “Wanna be my partner?” Mickey looks at him doubtfully, so Ian quickly adds, “I already know how. Cadets”. He nods, “Yeah sure, whatever”.

They walk down to the lake in pairs and trios and Ian watches, impressed, as Mickey lifts one of the canoes over his head and carries it over to the water’s edge, his stocky form solid, his muscles bulging. “You comin’ Gallagher?” he yells back behind himself.

Ian hurries over and shoves the canoe partway into the water, tossing his backpack in the middle. “Get in” he tells Mickey, who obediently climbs into the front seat, albeit awkwardly. “You need to balance your weight, get- get on your knees” Ian tells him.

Mickey shoots him a look, but Ian suddenly pretends to be very concerned with getting into his own place, and Mickey follows his example of how to balance in the canoe. He can’t lie, telling _Mickey Milkovich_ to get on his knees gave him a wicked thrill. And the fact that he actually fucking did it? _God_.

Ian shoves his oar back against the bottom of the lake, hard, and pushes the canoe forwards into the water. “Paddle on the right side, like this” he tells Mickey. Mickey tries to look behind himself and see how he is doing it, but he’s obviously somewhat nervous about tipping the canoe, as it wobbles in the water.

Still, he figures it out, and they get a solid momentum going, working together in unison. The other students have all entered the water as well, mostly in pairs and some in groups of three. Mrs. Lowry sits in her canoe in the middle of everyone else’s, “Alright class, great job! How about a little competition? Let’s see… who can get to water’s edge by that red cabin first?”

Ian glances across part of the lake to where a red cabin sits, some grey smoke curling out of it’s chimney. He tenses his muscles, “Alright let’s do this…Milkovich”, he teases. He knows even without looking that Mickey is raising an eyebrow at the way he had addressed him, and Ian is delighted by it.

“Alright _go_!” the teacher yells.

Ian and Mickey immediately put their muscles to work paddling and find their rhythm again, their bodies working in unison incredibly well. They glide across the lake, and quickly pass and then lead the entire class, beating them by a landslide. Mickey turns as they hit the shore, and laughs, looking behind himself with pride as he sees all the other students still struggling to paddle their canoes. His blue eyes are alight with amusement, and Ian feels a strange squeeze in his chest as he looks at him.

Mickey sticks out his tongue childishly at the other students as they also begin to pull up against the shore, who roll their eyes in response. Ian can’t help but laugh. The teacher addresses Mickey and Ian as she arrives, “Wow, good job you two… great teamwork. Which works out well, because we will be staying in these teams for the rest of our trip, okay class?” Everyone seems pretty happy with that, considering they were allowed to choose their original teams. Ian sneaks a glance at Mickey, who seems fairly neutral in response to the announcement. Ian supposes Mickey is feeling friendlier towards him after their victory.

“We are going to canoe back, have lunch, and then we have a two-hour class with one of the nature specialists that works here, before free time”, she adds.

Mickey rolls his eyes at the mention of the class, but helps Ian to set off the canoe again and Ian can tell he is enjoying himself as they glide back across the lake. And what’s not to enjoy? It’s warm and sunny, the lake is beautiful, and they are surrounded by nature. It’s very peaceful here.

That is, until they are approaching the shore and suddenly slam into a huge rock hidden underwater in the dark lake. One that Mickey had apparently failed to spot and avoid paddling directly into. The canoe rocks and sways dangerously from the impact, Ian laughing wildly as Mickey says “Fuuuu-“ _*splash*_ “-ck!” They both end up in the lake, that is somewhat cool due to it being September.

 Luckily, they are at a shallow enough place in the lake that they can walk the rest of the way to the shore, pulling the canoe along after themselves. They are both pretty soaked from falling out of the canoe though.

 “Way to go Gallagher” Mickey grumbles, shaking droplets of water from his dark hair. “Me? You’re in the front, you’re supposed to be spotting! Fuck, hope my cigarettes didn’t get wet”, Ian complains. Mickey looks back at him in interest as they walk back up the sand and towards the grass, dumping the canoe in the sand on the way, “You got cigarettes?”

 “Well yeah but I kept them hidden in my backpack, not like your dumb ass” Ian smirks. He loves the easy back and forth between them that’s been developing throughout the day. He never would have imagined, even this morning, that he would end up feeling like Mickey Milkovich’s friend today. Of course, his interest is secretly a little more than friendly.

Mickey flips him off, “You gonna share?” “I’m not gonna be a douchebag and smoke in front of you all night without offering you one, if that’s what you’re asking” Ian chuckles. “Oh yeah, we’re partners” Mickey remembers aloud. Hearing Mickey say that, _partners_ , makes Ian’s stomach flip, and he smiles nervously, “Yeah, we are”.

They drop onto the grass, away from the rest of the class to dry off in the sun, and Ian peeks inside his bag, “All good. I love army backpacks, water-resistant. But”- he bats Mickey’s hand away- “Not getting these taken away. We’ll fuck off from the rest of the class during free time, and smoke then”. Mickey nods and Ian hears his stomach grumbling as he does, again wondering why Mickey didn’t bring a lunch, or even a backpack today.

Then again his dad, Mr. Milkovich, didn’t seem like the best provider, or the nicest guy. Ian pulls out his sandwiches and tosses one to Mickey, knowing that if he asks Mickey if he wants one, he'll just say he’s not hungry. It's a poor kid pride thing. They both tear into their sandwiches, and afterwards, while Ian is absentmindedly tearing up handfuls of grass from the ground, he feels Mickey’s eyes on him. He slowly looks back up into them. He’s not sure what’s hidden in that blue hazy expression, but Mickey tips his head slightly and looks back down, before saying “Thanks".

Ian sort of gets separated from Mickey and ends up sitting a few rows behind him, as the class plops down inside one of the campground cabins for their lesson with one of the nature specialists who works there. Ian barely listens to the boring talk of ecosystems and pollution effects, his own mind polluted with thoughts of Mickey Milkovich. He keeps moving around awkwardly to try and steal glances of the other boy, but all he can see is his dark head until Mickey stretches at one point, thrusting his toned arms upwards and yawning loudly.

Ian appreciates the sight of his muscular arms, until his own muscles begin twitching in response, and he quickly looks away before he has to deal with another awkward semi. He notices one of the girls sitting beside him, Becca, is also glancing at Mickey with interest and he purposefully knocks his elbow into her.

 _“Sorry_ ” he whispers to Becca with sort of a bitchy smile as he says it, hoping it doesn’t give him away. She just looks at him in annoyance, but her attention is now averted away from Mickey, and Ian is satisfied with that.

He is pleased when Mickey approaches him as soon as the class is over, instead of it being the other way around as he was expecting it to be. “Alright, you said during free time you’d whip out the smokes” Mickey says, standing there and looking impatiently at Ian. He smirks, “Yeah, yeah. Come on”.

They leave the cabin among the other students also milling outside, and Ian heads into the forest, Mickey trailing after him. Ian stops once the rest of the class is out of sight and sits on the forest floor, kicking away some leaves and rocks from the immediate area before he falls back. Mickey leans against a tree across from him, the sunlight dappling his skin through the treetops, he looks like he is glowing a little bit. Ian's heart thuds against his chest.

Ian wordlessly hands Mickey a cigarette, and watches Mickey put it into his mouth and light it, immediately taking a long pull from it. Ian fights the sudden urge to stand and hold Mickey against the tree, burying his hands into that dark hair as he kisses up his pale neck. Mickey is looking down at him too, as he smokes the cigarette languidly, now savoring it. Fuck, he’s beautiful. Ian slowly stands up and approaches Mickey, breathlessly wondering if, if maybe he could-

“Hey guys! We’re gonna play _Sardines_ while it gets dark before dinner, wanna join?”

One of their classmates, Brent, that Ian sometimes hangs out with at school has just come crashing through trees and found the two of them. Ian at first irritably thinks, _no_ , I’d like for you to fuck off, but when he glances back at Mickey and sees his jaw is clenched, he thinks it’s probably better if he clears his head, and avoids pushing any boundaries with Mickey. He’s obviously straight, and would probably beat the shit out of Ian if he even guessed that he might be gay.

“Yeah, sure”. Mickey and Ian follow Brent back out to where the rest of the class is gathering on the grass in front of one of the cabins. “Alright, rules. _Sardines_ is where one person hides and the rest of us all search alone. When you find the person hiding, you join them, and so on. Like fucking cram yourself in, like a sardine. It’s getting dark out so this should be fun”. He grins, “Um we need a sardine to start us off with… Ian?” Ian shrugs, “Sure”. “Alright, we’ll give you ten minutes and we won’t look where you go. It’s a large space to hide, too large… so let’s just say, anywhere past the lake's edge is out of  bounds”. Ian nods and then runs off from the group without looking back at Mickey, hoping to shake off his strong attraction to the boy.

Ian’s a fast runner, in great physical condition from his cadet training, and he also has a keen eye for strategic games like this. He comes across the perfect place to hide, there’s a wood pile near a cabin that’s quite tall, but there’s also a big fucking rock in front of it. Perfect place to squeeze in behind. If he lays down, he’s completely out of sight, unless someone really comes looking. He gets on his belly and waits, panting slightly into the ground, the smell of earth and grass strong in his nostrils.

Ian eventually checks his watch, it’s been fifteen minutes and still nothing. Maybe he had hidden himself too well… but then he hears,  _“Fuck!”_  He freezes.

It’s Mickey’s voice. Sounds like he tripped over something. Ian thinks quickly, and then clears his throat, loudly. “Hello?” Mickey says, uncertainly. Ian realizes he probably sounded more like an animal than a person clearing his throat, and he laughs, picturing Mickey standing there thinking he stumbled across a fucking bear or something.

“Gallagher?” Mickey comes around the boulder and behind the logs, and then peers down at Ian’s prone form, impressed, “Holy fuck”. Ian looks back up at him, “You found me”.

“Kind hard not to, after hearing your gigglin’ ass back here”, Mickey frowns, but he is obviously amused. “So uh, I’m supposed to what, hide with you now?” he asks. Ian scrambles onto his side, pressing his back against the cabin wall, trying to make room for Mickey to lie down beside him. “Hurry up, get down” Ian whispers, remembering the game.

Mickey crouches and crawls in awkwardly beside him. He peeks over the rock once more, “I don’t see anyone anywhere fucking near here” he informs Ian, but then he lowers himself down against the grass.

His back is clearly uncomfortably wedged against the log pile but even so, he is entirely pressed into Ian’s body, as they lay chest to chest in the narrow space. Ian looks at _Mickey Milkovich_ , jammed against his body in this small space as the night falls, and the whole thing seems almost ridiculous, just too good to be true.

He pinches his nose with two fingers, trying not to smile, but he can’t fucking help it. “What you smiling like an idiot for?” Mickey asks, but then he starts smiling too, and they both crack up. The two of them stifle their laughter the best they can for a moment or two before it dies down, and then Ian gazes into Mickey’s eyes thoughtfully, now appearing dark in the lack of daylight.

Mickey stares back at him, both of them panting slightly into the damp night air after their burst of laughter. Ian suddenly feels a strong wave of arousal wash over himself, as he feels Mickey’s firm and muscular body pressed against his own, his sexy eyes and perfect lips just inches away… _fuck_.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_

Ian’s eyes widen as he feels a raging hard on rise in his pants, pressing right into and against Mickey’s own crotch. Mickey’s eyes flutter away from Ian’s at the unexpected sensation and he glances down. His eyes come back up very slowly, his expression unreadable, as Ian barely breathes. The two of them are completely jammed into this tiny space, alone in the middle of spread out campgrounds…

Ian wonders briefly if Mickey Milkovich will kill him.

But then Ian feels an unexpected resistance against his own hard on, and glances down himself, to see the bulge in Mickey’s pants he had noticed this morning on the bus now returning with a vengeance, straining hard against his own.

The two of them dart their eyes back up at each other, both breathing heavily against the dewy grass. Aggressively waiting to see how the other boy will react, what the other boy will do. Mickey reaches out with a tattooed hand and grabs Ian’s throat, and Ian thinks, here it comes.

But instead of choking him out, Mickey only puts a gentle pressure on Ian’s throat with his hand, before sliding it around to grip behind his neck. And then he pulls Ian’s face in towards himself.

Ian feels Mickey’s hot lips against his own a second later, and they breathe shakily into each other’s mouths as they come together and apart, over and over again. Mickey darts his wet tongue into Ian’s mouth and slides it across Ian’s tongue teasingly. Ian trembles and presses his fingers into Mickey’s bicep for something to hold on to in response, his brain short-circuiting from disbelief, heat, and the absolute sparks flying between them. Mickey kisses him more aggressively then, and Ian pushes back into the kisses with insane want.

There’s no routine to the making out, it’s unsteady and heated and all over the place, both of them consumed with lust. Ian bites Mickey’s lip, and drags it slightly away from his mouth, earning him an appreciative and carnal growl from Mickey in response. The sound drives Ian wild, and he begins to grind his hard on against Mickey’s, who responds by pushing his hips forwards into it more. Forcing them closer. Ian groans slightly into Mickey’s mouth as he feels himself approaching a brilliant orgasm. It earns him a low groan in return from Mickey, who is apparently extremely turned on by Ian’s pleasured vocalizations.

A female laugh nearby makes them both yank apart and glance around wildly, as they freeze in panic. They hear voices in the near distance and then relax slightly, realizing they haven’t been spotted.

“Where the hell is he?” the girls voice says. “I don’t know, but Mickey managed to find him, haven’t come across him in a while” another girl answers. A guy laughs, “Maybe Mickey beat him up and took his money”. Ian notices Mickey grimace beside him. He recognizes Brent’s voice next, “Fuck, I have no service. Mrs. Lowry told me we have ten minutes to get them to the campfire for dinner”. Ian glances at Mickey, who quickly nods. “We’re here!” Ian calls out.

The boys stand and come out from their hiding place, revealing it to several of their surprised classmates. “Jesus, good spot. How’d you even find him Mickey?” Becca asks. Mickey shrugs, “Oh you know, he talks to himself a lot”. Ian slugs his shoulder and Mickey pushes him back playfully.

Brent looks at them uncertainly, obviously wondering when the hell _they_ became friends. “Okay well… campfires going. Hot dogs are ready. C’mon”.

Ian and Mickey meld back into the group, and head towards the campfire separately. Ian grabs a couple hotdogs and slathers them in ketchup. He sits down in front of the fire and watches as Mickey covers his own hotdogs in everything, and then sits down on the opposite side of the fire from Ian.

Beside Becca.

Ian looks down at his hotdog, suddenly feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. What the hell _was_ that back there? It was obviously a one-time thing for Mickey, who is now happily laughing at something Becca has said.

Oh, so now she’s some fucking comedian?

Ian’s heart throbs with disappointment, and he looks up to glare across the fire at Becca. But as he raises his head, he sees Mickey’s blue eyes are already regarding him from across the flickering fire. Mickey takes a slow sip of coke from his can, without taking his piercing eyes off of Ian.

Ian feels his stomach make an odd flip, and he watches as Mickey finishes off his hotdog and drains his coke, licking his lips when he’s done. Becca leans over and touches his bicep as Mickey looks back at her, the same one Ian had been squeezing less than an hour before, while their tongues had danced. Alright, he’s had enough of _this shit,_ that’s for damn sure.

Ian gets up, and goes to grab a tent from the pile with frustration, then he walks off with it to go set it up near the lake. He gets about half way through setting it up before he decides he wants a drink, and heads off towards the cabin with the coke machine inside. He’s approaching it when someone suddenly comes out of the dark beside him and slams him against the wall of the cabin, making him jump.

It’s Mickey. Ian starts, “Look I-“

Mickey cuts him off, driving his lips into Ian’s so roughly that their teeth scrape. They kiss heatedly for a moment before Mickey steps back, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand. “Watching you pitch a tent made me pitch one” he says, arching an eyebrow teasingly. Ian gestures with his hand in confusion, “I don’t understand. You- you’re gay?”

Mickey smirks, “Was it me rubbing my boner against you, or pulling you into a kiss just now? What gave me away?” Ian is baffled, “I just thought, I mean, you’re so…” “So, what?” Mickey frowns, “Not gay? You think any one would guess that you’re gay? You’re seriously one to talk”.

Ian closes his mouth, it’s a good point.

“C’mon. I’ll help you finish with the tent, Lowry says I’m bunking with you tonight. Then we can get back to the fire”. Ian can’t help himself, “You gonna sit with me this time, or Becca again?”

Mickey raises his dark eyebrows, seeming confused. “What? I didn’t know that would piss you off. Sorry, I guess? I just needed a bit of time to chill out after that”. Ian relaxes, slightly embarrassed at his obvious jealousy, “Oh…okay”. They finish setting up the tent and then return to the fire together.

The teacher, and several of the other students, have already gone back to their tents to go to sleep, by the time they arrive. A classmate's joint is now being passed around the fire, and Ian and Mickey both take a few pulls before continuing to pass it along. Their guards now down from the high, they sit fairly close to each other. Ian smiles when Mickey purposely knocks his knee against his own every so often.

Ian finally reaches down into his backpack as the last few stragglers leave the fire, the boys now sitting alone, “I got something else too”. Mickey arches his eyebrow, looking down into the bag with interest. Ian pulls out a couple beers.

“Damn Gallagher, you’re full of surprises….” Mickey takes the beer Ian is offering him and they both shotgun, draining them quickly and then belching in unison. Mickey wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and looks over at Ian, illuminated by the glowing firelight. The heat dances on their skin. This whole night has been like a fucking wet dream to Ian, and he wonders for a moment if that’s all it is before Mickey speaks again, “….a good man to have around”.

Mickey grips his hand into Ian’s shoulder and pulls him again, Ian closing his eyes to meet the kiss. _Fuck..._ Mickey’s lips are wet, and especially hot, from sitting so close to the fire. He tastes like beer, with a hint of marijuana in there. Ian bites his own lip and forces himself to push away, earning himself a look from Mickey. “What?”

Ian tips his head back towards the tents filled with their classmates. Mickey quickly nods in agreement, “Yeah good point. I’m stoned”. The two of them sit there for a bit, watching the fire. “Let’s go to the tent” Ian offers, bravely. He hopes he’s not pushing his luck.

Mickey looks up at him uncertainly for a moment, but then smiles, “Okay”.

They walk slowly back to where they had set up their tent, just off from the rest of the group, who were randomly clustered across the campgrounds. Ian had purposely set up the tent so that if the door was unzipped, he would be looking out over a moonlit lake. He leaves it open when him and Mickey get inside, there’s no tents in front of them and he wants moonlight to be their only source of light. Anything else inside of the tent would show off their silhouettes…and anything they maybe, possibly, happened to be doing.

Mickey crawls inside of the tent first and pulls off his shirt eagerly. Ian drinks in the view, still barely believing that Mickey is letting this happen, wanting it to. His body is toned and firm, but he’s also got the slightest bit of a tummy, something that makes Ian want to cover his stomach in kisses.

“C’mere”

Ian crawls over to Mickey at the command, and they begin to kiss while they are on their knees. Mickey pulls Ian’s shirt off over his head as they do, and then immediately pulls him back in. Their bare chests press against each other and stick slightly, as they both begin to sweat.

They yank their pants down, letting both of their erections continue to expand freely inside of their loose boxers. They knock against each other, and Ian begins grinding his dick against Mickey’s again, just like he had while they were hiding. 

“Suck my dick” Mickey pants, and Ian immediately obliges. Pulling his boxers down entirely, he admires Mickey’s stiff dick for just a moment before taking it into his mouth, starting with working just the thick tip. Mickey looks down at him through blown eyes, and weaves his fingers through Ian’s red hair as Ian begins to take him deeper, working the rest of his shaft with one hand as he does.

The lake flickers quietly under the moonlight, illuminating their firm bodies as they shift and work against each other with a feral heat.

“Okay, okay… stop” Mickey eventually sighs, and Ian pulls away reluctantly, tasting some precum on his tongue as he does. Mickey pulls a condom out of his wallet, and puts his hand on Ian’s shoulders and starts to turn him around, and Ian is so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t really bottom, like ever. And he’s a little disappointed that he doesn’t get to put his dick in that perfect, surprisingly plump ass. But is he gonna tell _Mickey Milkovich_ that and ruin the whole damn night? Fuck no.

Besides, he thinks, glancing back as Mickey lines himself up behind him, stroking his cock with leftover saliva and precum, that’s one guy he’d like to take it from. Mickey hisses as he slowly pushes himself into Ian, and Ian bites his lip in pain.

He’s not used to the stretch, and he moves his shoulders, willing himself to relax. It does start to feel good, but his _fucking body_ is still fighting it, regardless of how slow and gentle Mickey is being with him. “ _Fuck_ ” Mickey breathes, as he pushes all of the way inside Ian. But he can obviously tell how tense Ian is, because after a few pumps he stops. “Gallagher?”

Ian looks back, “Yeah?”

“You seem… you don’t seem…. Are you a virgin? Like an ass virgin?” Mickey’s blue eyes actually look concerned and Ian almost laughs as he shakes his head, “No Mickey, I’m a practiced gay if that’s what you’re asking. It’s just…” He looks up at with Mickey with some embarrassment, who is still inside of Ian and just not moving anymore.

Mickey raises his eyebrows, “Just what? You don’t want to fuck me?” “No! No, it’s not that at all! I want, I _want_ to fuck you. But I’m a top”. Mickey pulls out, obviously surprised. “I’m sorry” Ian hastily adds. Mickey smirks, a dark grin spreading across his face, “You know what, Ian?”

Ian shivers as Mickey finally says his first name.

“You know what I like to do?” He approaches Ian, who had turned and sat down with his legs stretched out in front of himself, and straddles him slightly. He's not sure if Mickey's confidence is stemming from the weed, or how far away from home they are, but he doesn't care.

“What?” he breathes, looking at Mickey’s fucking amazing body, now resting on top of his own. Mickey shows Ian his fingers, “I like to put these in my _ass_ , and stretch myself. Before I _bottom_ ”. Ian gulps, _oh fuck._ He’s pretty sure his own dick is slick with precum by now, this couldn't get any better. “Show me” he whispers.

Mickey holds out his fingers and Ian sucks them for him, getting them nice and wet for Mickey, before he slips them down towards his ass. Mickey groans as he begins to stretch himself, and Ian watches with absolute interest through hooded eyes. This is hotter than any fucking porno he’s ever seen. Any awkward bang he’s ever had.

Mickey continues to work himself open with his fingers as Ian pulls him against his chest to make out, Mickey making small grunts into Ian’s mouth as he does. “ _Get the fuck in me_ ” he finally moans against his lips. He gets off Ian’s lap and lays down on the floor of the tent, propping his ass up under a pillow for better access.

Ian quickly gets behind him, but hesitates, “Can I…can I eat your ass?”

“What?” Mickey looks back at him, eyebrows raised.

Ian blushes even from behind his straining hard on, “You know, can I lick your-“

“-Yeah, I know what it is”, Mickey looks at him with interest, “Just never done it before”.

 Ian licks his lips, “Let me show you…”

He lowers himself down and spreads Mickey’s ass cheeks apart, before he licks a stripe from his balls upwards, causing the dark-haired boy to shudder in pleasure. Ian presses his tongue back down and rims the tight muscles around Mickey’s hole, loving the heat coming off of it. He continues to work his tongue in circles, and then back down to Mickey’s balls before Mickey speaks again, his voice now hoarse and strained, _“Fuck me”._

Ian licks his lips and quickly comes back up, after quickly grabbing a condom from his own wallet, he uses one hand to guide his dick against Mickey’s asshole, and the other to grip Mickey’s shoulder for leverage. He pushes the tip in first, which Mickey’s ready ass greedily takes, but he meets more sweet resistance as he continues to slowly slide in, the walls of Mickey’s ass constricting tightly around him. Mickey arches his back slightly and pushes his ass back, doing just as much work as Ian is. _Yeah,_ he’s definitely a bottom.

He’s tight as fuck, and it’s glorious. Ian wonders when the last time was that Mickey had an actual dick in his ass and not just fingers, as he finally gets balls deep. He's just so fucking tight. Then again, he doesn’t really want to know. This ass, this perfect round fucking ass, is his right now. He slaps one of the cheeks gently, knowing they have to be quiet. Mickey remembers the same thing and lowers his face down into a pillow to moan.

Ian closes his eyes for a moment and works into a steady pace of thrusting before opening them again to stare at the back of Mickey’s dark head. He can’t believe who he’s giving it to right now, even just the thought of fucking _Mickey Milkovich_ spurs him on harder.

He lowers himself down to lay flat on Mickey’s back, sweat slicking between them, and moves the hand that was previously on his shoulder back down over Mickey’s tattooed hand, looping his fingers through the _U-UP_.

 He breaths hotly into Mickey’s ear who shudders in response, and rolls his blue eyes back to look at Ian. The blown out look in them sends Ian over the edge, he quickly moves his other hand around to start jerking Mickey off, who lifts his hips slightly of the ground so he can.

 _“I’m gonna cum”_ comes strangled out of Ian’s throat, and Mickey growls, thrusting his ass back harder, as Ian slams directly into his prostate.

Ian feels cum start to shoot out over his hand as he jerks Mickey off, and his own orgasm follows suit as he gushes into Mickey’s ass.They both pant as they lay against each other’s bodies for another moment. Damp with sweat, cum, and the heavy night air.

Ian slowly gets up, pushing off of Mickey’s strong body for support. He grabs his dirty t-shirt and uses it to wipe off his hand before offering it to Mickey to clean up with, knowing he doesn’t have any spare clothes. They finish and then partially redress in their t-shirts and boxers, before remaking a sleeping space inside the tent. They lie down beside each other on their sides, facing each other.

Ian’s looks into Mickey Milkovich’s stunning blue eyes and thinks, I’ve never seen them more calm or peaceful than they are right now.

He wants to kiss Mickey goodnight, and he hopes he doesn’t mind, but before he does, Mickey stretches towards him and presses his lips against Ian’s, softly this time.

It’s a long, slow kiss, and when Mickey finally pulls away and lays back down, closing his eyes to the world, Ian wonders.

_Is it possible to fall for someone in one day?_


	2. Mickey Milkovich's Class Trip to Oak Forest Campgrounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The same Oak Forest Campgrounds story, but from Mickey's perspective!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos on the original story, I love it! Someone commented that they would like to see Mickey's P.O.V so here it is :) If I end up continuing the story some more it will likely be mostly from Ian's perspective, as I'm currently working on an entire series based on Mickey's :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Mickey Milkovich digs through the bottom of his old backpack impatiently, looking for his forgotten permission slip. Giving up, he flips the entire bag upside down, dumping all of it’s contents out onto his bedroom floor so he can see them better. Smokes, some pencils, a porno mag, a sweater, and a couple battered notebooks fall out. Ah, and the permission slip. He flattens the paper out onto his bedroom floor and quickly scrawls his Dad’s signature onto it.

Mickey hadn’t initially planned on going on some stupid school trip, where his entire day would be dictated by rules, but Terry had ended up going on a bender last night and Mickey figured it would be better to just get out of the house for a day or two, as the trip was overnight. Some campground thing, he remembers. He glances at the alarm clock near his bed, _shit!_   It’s already 8:25?

Mickey quickly looks around for something to throw on with his jeans and spots a semi-clean grey tank top hanging out of his dresser drawer. He grabs it and yanks it on, pausing only to pick up his permission slip, his wallet, and his pack of smokes before he hurries out of the house. He jogs the few blocks to the school, and sees a school bus still waiting in the parking lot. Awesome. He stops running and walks the rest of the way to the bus, pausing at the foot of the stairs.

Mrs. Lowry, currently in the middle of lecturing the students about the day’s plan, stops and looks down at him. _“-Mickey?”_   She looks disappointed to see he’s shown and he grins in response. “Mickey, you never brought back your signed form, you can’t go on the trip without it”. Bitch. Mickey bounds up the stairs and waves the permission slip in her face, “Here”. He adds a burp to end of his statement just for good measure.

She frowns at his forged signature but decides to let it go. Smart woman, Mickey thinks, ‘cause he wouldn’t get off the bus anyways. “Please take a seat Mickey, we’re just about to leave”. The bus is pretty full, but Mickey gravitates towards the back anyways, preferring to sit as far away from the rest of his annoying classmates as possible. There’s only one empty spot left that he can see, and he approaches it confidently. It’s beside Ian Gallagher.

Maybe it’s a good thing he decided to come on this dumb trip after all, Mickey thinks. Ian’s some tall awkward ginger in a few of Mickey’s classes, but he’s actually pretty cute. Not that it matters, Mickey thinks as he reaches the seat, Ian never talks to him, “Move”. Ian immediately moves his backpack out of the free spot. “No Gallagher, move over. I’m taking the window side”.

Ian slides across the seat towards Mickey so he can have the window seat, but he doesn’t get up, so Mickey has to bend and pass over his lap to get to it. If he thought Ian was gay, he might exaggerate the movement a bit, but that would of course be fucking pointless.

He throws himself down into the seat by the window and settles in to get comfortable. The teacher continues after her interruption by yours truly, “As I was saying, it’s about an hour drive to the campgrounds, so while you can talk to your neighbors during the trip, let’s keep the volume to a reasonable level so our driver can concentrate please!”

The bus starts to pull out of the lot and Mickey wonders how much sleep he can manage to squeeze in before they get there.

“Um, why didn’t you bring your backpack?” Mickey looks over beside himself. 

Ian Gallagher’s apparently talking to _him_ , which surprises Mickey a little. They are technically neighbors, and classmates, but Ian never seemed to be too interested in talking with him before. When Mickey came up to him in class to ask for answers, Ian would just shove them towards him without saying anything.

But Mickey didn’t really need the answers, he just wanted to talk to Ian.

He yawns, and shrugs his shoulders at the question, “Don’t need to”.

“We’re camping overnight”, Ian reminds him. “Yeah, I know. Can ya shut up please? I’m hungover, need to sleep” Mickey answers, feeling a slight headache coming on. Once Terry started going off the wall last night, Mickey himself had started throwing them back to chill out a bit. Alcohol. That was how the Milkovich’s usually dealt with conflict, that, or violence. Mickey stretches out a little more comfortably, and falls asleep to the gentle rhythm of the bus’s movement…

Mickey jolts awake some time later when the bus hits a pothole and bounces him in his seat. He feels stiff and uncomfortable, and he glances up to see Ian’s face hovering nearby, staring at him. “What you starin at?” he asks, rubbing his eyes, as he squints back up at him. Ian quickly looks away, “Uh nothing. You said something in your sleep, I was just- I just looked over at you when you said it”.

He didn't know he talked in his sleep. Mickey glances down at himself, and realizes the stiff feeling is entirely stemming from his gigantic hard on. Jesus Christ. He quickly sits up in the seat, trying to move it in his jeans to be less noticeable, as he grunts at whatever explanation Ian gave. At least he hadn’t seen this shit. How would he ever live _that_ down?

When they get to the campgrounds, Mrs. Lowry looks around at the students as she asks for help unloading their tents from underneath the bus, and Mickey doesn’t miss how she glances hopefully at Ian, who slowly gets up to help. Well fuck, Mickey thinks, as he looks around at all the pansy guys in the class, what kind of guy doesn’t help a woman with heavy lifting? He follows Ian off the bus to help.

Mrs. Lowry looks surprised to see him there, and as soon as the tents are unloaded he takes the opportunity to remind her that he still doesn’t like her, and lights a smoke in front of her. She sighs, “Mickey, you can’t be smoking here. Give me that please”. He blows smoke at her, “Bite me”. “Mickey, remember that English essay you never handed in that I very kindly allowed you to skip? Unless you want to actually write it, I suggest you hand me the rest of your cigarettes”. Fuck, he had Lowry for English class too. He didn’t think this through. He glares at her but she doesn’t back down, so he reluctantly hands over his cigarettes. He really, really hates writing essays.

“Good. Alright students, we are going to start out by the lake with some canoeing! Everyone find a partner, or form a group of three please”.

Ian turns to Mickey, asking, “Wanna be my partner?” Mickey glances him over, wondering why he was asking him, but Ian misinterprets the look as doubt and adds “I already know how. Cadets”.

He nods, “Yeah sure, whatever”. He already knew Ian was in cadets, he’d seen him in his army uniform before, running drills in the neighborhood or on the high school’s track. Sometimes Mickey would watch him as he smoked under the bleachers at lunch, appreciating the way his muscular body moved as he ran.

He can’t help but feel a little bit like he has to prove himself to Ian, so he goes off ahead and picks up the canoe by himself while all the other students go and get their partners to help. It’s long and heavy, a little awkward, but he manages to carry it over to the water fairly easily. _Where the hell is the ginger though?_   “You comin’ Gallagher?” he yells back behind himself.

Ian hurries over and shoves the canoe partway into the water as Mickey drops it, tossing his backpack in the middle. “Get in” he tells Mickey, who tries to get into the front seat but tenses as the canoe wobbles with his weight. “You need to balance your weight, get- get on your knees” Ian tells him.

Mickey immediately flashes into his mind an image of him on his knees in front of Ian Gallagher, who’s wearing his army uniform, Mickey tugging down his pants to get to _his-_

Mickey shakes his head and shoots Ian a look. Why’d he have to say that??

Ian pushes the canoe forward with his oar as Mickey sits there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. “Paddle on the right side, like this” Ian says behind him. He tries to look back at what Ian’s doing but it’s not easy, every movement seems to threaten to tip the canoe. He gets enough of a glance to get the general idea of it though, and after a few minutes they start to move really smoothly.

The teacher calls out as she paddles into the middle of the group, “Alright class, great job! How about a little competition? Let’s see… who can get to water’s edge by that red cabin first?”

Mickey’s eyes drift towards the red cabin, some grey smoke curling out of it’s chimney where it rests across part of the lake.

“Let’s do this… Milkovich” Mickey hears Ian say from behind him. He doesn’t look back but raises his eyebrow at Ian’s teasing tone. Ian must not realize how flirty he seemed, he sure as hell wouldn’t want to intentionally come across as gay, would he? “Alright go!” the teacher yells.

Mickey immediately puts his strong arms back to work and he can tell Ian is too by the way they shoot forward in front of the rest of the class. Hell yeah! Douchebags, Mickey thinks, proudly, as he and Ian reach the shore first. He turns around to gloat when the rest of class finally approaches, and they roll their eyes in response. Mrs. Lowry arrives and turns to the two of them in surprise, “Wow, good job you two… great teamwork. Which works out well, because we will be staying in these teams for the rest of our trip, okay class?

Mickey can tell Ian is looking at him, and he hopes he’s not annoyed. Mickey generally isn’t anyone’s first choice as a partner, and he knows why. He’s bold, brash, and maybe annoying sometimes. Just how he is. For his part, he’s glad Ian’s stuck with him for the rest of the day. He is actually, surprisingly, having a lot of fun with him. And it doesn't hurt that he's attractive, either.

“We are going to canoe back, have lunch, and then we have a two-hour class with one of the nature specialists that works here, before free time”, she adds.

Mickey and Ian start to canoe back across the lake, still leading the class, but paddling less frantically now that there is no sense of urgency. The lake is beautiful and still as the canoes gently part through it's waters, but Mickey’s mind drifts away from natural beauty of the lake towards something else’s.

 _So,_ how did Ian’s white ass skin manage to tan to such a nice light golden color in the summer? He’s a ginger, what’s that about? Thought they couldn’t tan at all.

And his eyes are so green, like _very_ green. They rival any of the shades displayed in the natural settings around- _slam._

The canoe slams up sharply against a large rock they had paddled directly into, and Ian starts to laugh wildly as it sways dangerously to the side. Mickey’s first reaction is his most common one, “Fuuuu-“ _*splash*_        “-ck!” They are both dunked right into the cool lake as the canoe flips them out of it.

The lake bottom is shallow enough where they are that they can walk the rest of the way towards the shore, dragging the canoe along behind themselves. They are both pretty soaked from falling in the lake though.

“Way to go Gallagher” Mickey grumbles, shaking droplets of water from his dark hair. “Me? You’re in the front you’re supposed to be spotting! Fuck, hope my cigarettes didn’t get wet” Ian complains. Mickey looks back at him in interest as they walk back up the sand and towards the grass, dumping the canoe in the sand on the way, “You got cigarettes?”

“Well yeah but I kept them hidden in my backpack, not like your dumb ass” Ian smirks. It sounds like an insult, but Ian’s tone is almost affectionate. He’s starting to feel like… a friend, almost. Mickey’s not sure how, but he’ll take it. He's never really had a good friend before. 

He flips the redhead off playfully, “You gonna share?” “I’m not gonna be a douchebag and smoke in front of you all night without offering you one, if that’s what you’re asking” Ian chuckles. “Oh yeah, we’re partners” Mickey remembers aloud, wondering exactly what that meant for tonight’s arrangements. “Yeah, we are” Ian says, with an awkward smile.

They drop onto the warm grass, away from the rest of the class, and Ian peeks inside his bag to check on the status of his cigarettes, “All good. I love army backpacks, water-resistant. But”- he bats Mickey’s hand away as he reaches towards them- “Not getting these taken away. We’ll fuck off from the rest of the class during free time and smoke then”.

Mickey nods, shifting uncomfortably as his aching stomach starts to grumble. There hadn’t been any food at home for him to even bring on the trip, and bringing an empty backpack seemed pretty useless, considering he didn’t have enough time in the morning to steal anything before he got to school.

Ian pulls out some sandwiches from his bag and tosses one to Mickey, who catches it in surprise, but tears into it appreciatively. The Gallaghers really did seem like nice people, Ian especially, Mickey thinks as he chews, glancing at the redhead.

Yeah, they got into trouble all the time, just typical south side shit, but they looked out for each other. Mickey admires that, you gotta look out for your people. He watches Ian tear up handfuls of grass absentmindedly, until he feels Mickey’s stare and looks back up at him. Mickey holds it for another moment before looking away, unsure of what to say, so he just says, “Thanks”.

Shortly afterwards, Mickey sort of gets separated from Ian and ends up sitting a few rows in front of him, as the class plops down inside one of the campground cabins for their lesson, with one of the nature specialists who works there. It’s boring as hell and Mickey traces his tattoos repeatedly as the nature specialist drones on about ecosystems. Finally, he lets out a loud yawn and stretches his arms upwards, feeling about ready for a nap.

As soon as the class is over, Mickey turns and spots Ian’s red hair a few rows back and heads directly for him, now craving fucking nicotine like there is no tomorrow. He rarely went this many hours without a smoke. “Alright, you said during free time you’d whip out the smokes”, Mickey reminds Ian, standing there and looking impatiently at him.

Ian smirks, “Yeah, yeah. Come on”. Ian leaves the cabin and heads into the forest and Mickey follows him until they are just past the tree lines, where Ian stops, brushing away a place for himself to sit. Mickey leans against a tall tree across from him.

Ian is giving him some weird sort of look but hands him a cigarette, and Mickey is craving one so badly that he doesn’t bother commenting on it. He lights it and takes a long pull, feeling the sweet smoke filling his lungs like a comforting blanket. He blinks a few times and then looks down at Ian, sitting near his feet.

Ian’s one of those rare guys that can be adorable as hell one moment, and hot as fuck the next, Mickey thinks, as he looks at the redhead’s chiseled jaw, twitching as he looks back at Mickey. He looks like he is fighting something, but then again, Mickey is too. Ian stands, and starts to approach him slowly and Mickey drops the cigarette from his mouth, letting it dangle between his fingers.

“Hey guys! We’re gonna play _Sardines_ while it gets dark before dinner, wanna join?”

One of their douchebag classmates, Brent, is now standing in front of them, waiting expectantly for an answer to his question. Ian glances back at Mickey and they make awkward eye contact for a moment, “Yeah, sure” Ian answers.

He was probably getting annoyed by Mickey hanging around him, Mickey thinks, bumming cigarettes without having anything to give back. He follows them back to their rest of their classmates, feeling rather subdued.

Brent addresses the entire class once everyone is crowded around him, “Alright, rules. _Sardines_ is where one person hides and the rest of us all search alone. When you find the person hiding, you join them, and so on. Like fucking cram yourself in, like a sardine. It’s getting dark out so this should be fun”. He grins, “Um we need a sardine to start us off with… Ian?” Ian shrugs, “Sure”. “Alright, we’ll give you ten minutes and we won’t look where you go. It’s a large space to hide, too large… so let’s just say, anywhere past the lake's edge is out of bounds”.

Ian nods and takes off, everyone else closing their eyes as he does. Mickey opens his just a tad to peek, and sees Ian heading in the direction of some of the cabins, and then closes his eyes again. He hoped Ian wasn’t irritated with him being his partner and all, it would make the rest of the trip fuckin awkward, but he feels drawn to him. The rest of the class starts to shift impatiently and Brent calls it, “Alright everyone, split up. Go find Ian”.

Mickey immediately heads off in the direction he had last seen Ian, while the rest of the class mostly heads in the opposite direction. He’s been wandering around in the dark for a while, feeling completely lost and uncomfortable when he trips over a hidden fucking rock.

“ _Fuck!”_   he winces in pain, kicking at the stupid thing. He hears a strange sound come from towards either one of the cabins or the treeline, and freezes.

 _Were there fucking bears here? Did Mrs. Lowry tell them that? Why the fuck didn’t he listen on the bus this morning?_   “Hello?” he calls out nervously, immediately chastising himself. Like a fucking bear would answer, _oh yeah, hey Mickey how’s it going?_   Fuck he could be stupid sometimes.

But he hears someone laughing, a familiar and warm laugh. One he’d enjoyed hearing several times already today, and he follows the sound around a large pile of chopped wood beside one of the cabins. “Gallagher?” Mickey comes around the pile and peers down at Ian’s prone form, impressed by his hiding place, “Holy fuck”.

Ian looks back up at him, “You found me”. There he is, looking stupid adorable again.

“Kind hard not to, after hearing your gigglin’ ass back here”, Mickey tries to frown but he isn’t sure if it comes across that way or not. “So uh, I’m supposed to what, hide with you now?” he asks, remembering the game. Ian scrambles onto his side, pressing his back against the cabin wall, trying to make room for Mickey to lie down beside him. “Hurry up, get down” Ian whispers at him.

Mickey crouches and crawls in awkwardly beside Ian. He peeks over the rock once more, “I don’t see anyone anywhere fucking near here”, he informs Ian, but then he lowers himself down against the grass, going along with the game. His back is jammed against the pile of chopped wood, it roughly digs into his tank top, but he can’t move forward any more. He’s already pressed into Ian’s body, they are chest to chest in the small space. Fuckin sardines alright.

He looks at Ian, who is now pinching his nose as he tries to control a goofy smile. “What you smiling like an idiot for?” Mickey asks, but then he feels himself smiling too, and they both totally crack up. The two of them stifle their ridiculous laughter the best they can for a moment or two until it dies down, and then Mickey notices Ian is now gazing more seriously into his eyes.

They are both panting slightly against the damp earth, recovering from both their burst of laughter and their adrenaline, from hiding. Mickey looks back into Ian’s dark green eyes, the dim light making it hard to see his face clearly. But he is pressed so tightly against him, his muscles feeling hard and solid against his own, that he can’t pull his eyes away from Ian's, that are now widening. Until he feels something pushing against his crotch.

He glances down, and sees Ian is sporting a raging hard on, that is pressing insistently into his own dick. He slowly looks back up, feeling himself start to harden in response. _Is this… could this be… is Ian…?_ If he's not, Mickey's in trouble. They stare at each other as they continue to pant, both nervous and agitated, waiting to see what will happen next. But Ian doesn’t move.

_Fuck it._

Mickey reaches out his hand to Ian’s throat, feeling his hot pulse underneath it. He swallows, and then moves his hand around behind Ian’s neck, before pulling him in towards himself.

He presses his hot mouth against Ian’s, who’s lips are trembling slightly. They both breathe shakily as they move their mouths against each other, opening and closing them to let their tongues sneak in and explore the other boy’s mouth. Mickey’s mind buzzes, numb with arousal and unexpected pleasure, and he slides his tongue across Ian’s teasingly. Ian shudders slightly from excitement and presses his long fingers into Mickey’s bicep, holding onto him to steady himself, as they lay together in the damp grass.

Ian seems to break out of his shock and Mickey does the same, as they start to kiss more aggressively. It’s slightly sloppy, like they can’t get their lips together fast or hard enough. Ian bites Mickey’s lip and drags it slightly away from his mouth, and Mickey hears a growl rise in his throat. The sound appears to egg Ian on, as he bites harder and begins to grind his erection against Mickey’s. Mickey tries to move in even closer in the impossibly tight space, letting the friction between their straining erections bring them some relief. Ian groans from the sensation, sounding like he is dangerously close to coming as he breaths more erratically. The sound makes Mickey see red, and he groans uncontrollably in response.

A sudden female laugh nearby makes them both instantly yank apart, glancing around wildly, as they freeze in panic. They hear voices in the near distance and then relax slightly, realizing they haven’t been spotted yet.

 _“Where the hell is he?”_ the girls voice says. “I don’t know, but Mickey managed to find him, haven’t come across him in a while” another girl answers. A guy laughs, “Maybe Mickey beat him up and took his money”. Mickey frowns at the comment, he wasn’t that much of an asshole.  It’s Brent’s voice next, “Fuck, I have no service. Mrs. Lowry told me we have ten minutes to get them to the campfire for dinner”. Ian glances at Mickey, who quickly nods back in response. “We’re here!” Ian calls out.

The boys stand and come out from their hiding place, revealing it to several of their surprised classmates. “Jesus, good spot. How’d you even find him Mickey?” Becca asks. Mickey shrugs, thinking of how to answer, “Oh you know, he talks to himself a lot”. Ian slugs his shoulder and Mickey pushes him back playfully.

Brent looks at them uncertainly, obviously wondering when the hell  _they_  became friends. “Okay well… campfires going. Hot dogs are ready. C’mon”.

There’s nothing Mickey would love more than to walk back with Ian, laughing and playing and shoving each other, but he feels a little overwhelmed too, and decides to keep his distance for a bit. First of all, it was entirely unexpected for him that Ian Gallagher was gay, and second of all, that he might be interested in Mickey back? He honestly never would have guessed that. Ian was attractive as hell, smart, and the girls at school liked him.

And as a general rule, Mickey would never hookup with anyone he went to school with, hell, he wouldn't hook up with anyone that could get the word out back home, that he was gay. But it was too late now.

He hangs back as Ian grabs a couple hotdogs and slathers them in ketchup before going to sit in front of the fire. Mickey covers his own hotdogs in everything, hungry as hell now, and then sits down in front of the fire where one of their other classmates, Becca, is already sitting. He’s far enough away that he can control himself and calm down, but close enough so that he can still look at Ian.

Ian is currently focused on his hot dog, and Mickey watches appreciatively as the crackling fire illuminates Ian’s red hair. He looks sexy as hell in that light, his green eyes shining, his lips reddening from the warmth of the flames…

Becca taps Mickey on the shoulder, pulling his attention away, “You got ketchup on your arm. Or is just a battle wound?” Mickey glances at his arm and laughs, “Ketchup I think”. He glances across the fire at Ian again. Becca squeezes his bicep, and he looks back at her as she wipes the ketchup off his arm. When he looks up again, Ian’s gone.

He ditches Becca and wanders around until he sees Ian’s tall form by the lake, alone as he starts setting up the poles for his tent. Mrs. Lowry passes by him, “Mickey, you’re gonna share a tent with Ian tonight, why don’t you help him?” Mickey nods as she leaves, but continues to watch Ian with his arms crossed, wondering how to approach him. What he could possibly say. But as he watches Ian bend to stomp one of the spikes into the ground to anchor the tent, he decides he doesn’t fucking care.

He starts towards Ian, who at that same moment gets up and begins to walk towards one of the cabins in the dark. Mickey walks faster to catch up to the taller boy, and reaches him just as he gets to the cabin. Mickey cuts him off from the side, and uses his strength to push the surprised boy up against the wall of the cabin. Ian starts, “Look I-“  Mickey cuts him off, driving his lips into Ian’s so roughly that their teeth scrape.

They kiss heatedly for a moment, Ian softening under him, before Mickey steps back, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand, reminding himself someone could show up any minute.

“Watching you pitch a tent made me pitch one” he says, arching an eyebrow teasingly. Ian gestures at Mickey with his hand, clearly confused, “I don’t understand. You- you’re gay?” Mickey smirks, “Was it me rubbing my boner against you, or pulling you into a kiss just now? What gave me away?” Fuck, he's throwing all his rules out the window now.

Ian looks baffled, “I just thought, I mean, you’re so…” “So, what?” Mickey frowns, “Not gay? You think any one would guess that you’re gay? You’re seriously one to talk”.

Ian closes his mouth, looking like he can’t argue with that logic. Mickey smiles, “C’mon. I’ll help you finish with the tent, Lowry says I’m bunking with you tonight. Then we can get back to the fire”. Ian frowns slightly, “You gonna sit with me this time, or Becca again?”

Mickey is surprised by the comment, and raises his eyebrows in confusion. Did Ian… actually care? About him? He certainly seemed jealous... “What? I didn’t know that would piss you off. Sorry, I guess? I just needed a bit of time to chill out after that”. Ian relaxes during his explanation, eventually saying softly, “Oh…okay”. They finish setting up the tent fairly easily and return to the fire together.

The teacher and several of the other students have already gone back to their tents to go to sleep by the time they arrive, only a small group is still sitting there. Mickey is glad to see Becca is gone, happily avoiding any opportunity to possibly make Ian feel uncomfortable.

A joint is now being passed around the fire, and Ian and Mickey both take a few pulls before continuing to pass it along. Slightly stoned, Mickey feels more relaxed and doesn’t hesitate when Ian slides in to sit closer beside him. He purposely knocks his knee into Ian’s every so often, feeling a little silly for flirting until he notices that Ian blushes and smiles every time he does. 

The last group of three finally leaves the fire to head to their tents, and Mickey looks over at Ian as he starts digging into his backpack, “I got something else too”. Mickey arches an eyebrow with interest, waiting to see what Ian has. Ian pulls out two cans of beer from his backpack.  “Damn Gallagher, you’re full of surprises….”

Mickey takes the beer Ian is offering him and they both shotgun, draining them quickly and then belching in unison. Mickey wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and looks over at Ian, illuminated by the glowing firelight. The heat dances off their skin as they sit so close, and Mickey finishes his sentence from earlier “...a good man to have around”.

He can’t help himself, Ian’s fucking glowing. Everything about him is like a flame, and Mickey’s a fucking moth. He grips Ian’s shoulder and pulls him in again for a kiss, hot and slow. The taste of beer and the scent of marijuana passes between their mouths as they open them to each other, Mickey falling deeper and deeper into the kiss before Ian pushes him away a bit. Mickey gives him an uncertain look. Did Ian change his mind? Decide that yeah, he could do better than Mickey?

“What?” Mickey asks, worrying.

Ian tips his head back towards the tents filled with their classmates. Mickey nods in agreement, shit he was being stupid tonight, “Yeah, good point. I’m a little stoned”. The two of them sit there for a bit, watching the fire. “Let’s go to the tent” Ian offers after a while, sounding a little nervous.

Mickey looks up at him uncertainly for a moment, is Ian really ready to fuck?

Mickey’s not really used to hooking up with someone he actually had some interest in _as a person._ The whole gay thing is actually still somewhat new to him too. He only recently let himself indulge a bit in what he really liked, after hiding it from himself for so long. But he reminds himself that he’s far from home, and the fag beaters and haters like his father are back there in the South Side. It’s just him and Ian right here, right now. He smiles, “Okay”.

They walk slowly back to where they had set up their tent, just off from the rest of the group, who were randomly clustered across the campgrounds. They had a perfect view of the lake in front of them, moonlight dancing across the dark water as it rippled gently. Ian leaves the door unzipped so they can keep the view, and the light.

Mickey crawls inside of the tent first and pulls off his shirt. He feels a tiny bit nervous, like it’s some awkward first date. But as Ian stares at his bare chest with a familiar look in his dark eyes, want, Mickey feels his heart start to race with need.

“C’mere”

Ian crawls over to Mickey at his command, and they start to kiss while they are on their knees. Mickey feels Ian’s fingers crawl around the back of his head, running through his dark hair, and he pants against Ian’s neck before deciding he needs to see his naked chest too.

He leans back a bit to pull off Ian’s shirt, and then immediately presses back into him for another kiss, feeling Ian’s hard and muscular chest against his own. The skin contact feels even better than it did when they were hiding there in the damp grass while they played _Sardines_. Ian’s hot, bare skin is now touching against his own, his nipples hard and pressing into him, and they begin to sweat from the heat between them. 

They both struggle to yank their pants down, letting each of their straining erections continue to expand freely inside of their loose boxers. They knock against each other as they come together again, and Ian begins grinding his dick against his. Mickey closes his eyes for a moment as he sees red, lust washing over his entire body.

“Suck my dick” he pants, opening his eyes to look at Ian darkly.

Ian immediately leans downwards and pulls down Mickey’s boxers entirely, stopping for a moment as his gaze finally meets Mickey’s cock. It’s rock hard, pointed directly at Ian, and Mickey is so turned on it’s hard not to just keep grinding against Ian’s face. But Ian doesn’t hesitate, and he slips his lips around the head of Mickey’s dick, enveloping them into a wet warmth. Mickey's stomach tightens at the sensation, and he looks down at Ian through blown eyes, weaving his fingers through his beautiful flaming red hair.

The lake flickers quietly under the moonlight, illuminating their firm bodies as they shift and work against each other with a feral lust. Ian begins to take Mickey deeper into his throat, working the rest of his shaft with one hand as he does. Mickey’s never had a blowjob like this before, from any male or female, and his thoughts are tripping over one another as he feels a familiar tension rise in his balls. As much as he doesn’t want to, he taps Ian’s cheek, “Okay, okay… stop”.

Ian pulls away reluctantly, some precum stringing from his lips as he does, and Mickey closes his eyes, willing himself not to cum prematurely as he grabs a condom from his wallet and starts to turn Ian around. He positions himself behind Ian, stroking his cock to get himself as firm as possible before lining himself up to Ian’s hole. He feels a hiss escape from his lips, as the tip of his dick presses inside of Ian’s ass, it’s so ridiculously tight he can barely get in there. He goes as slowly as he can, struggling to control himself so he doesn’t hurt Ian, even though he wants to fucking wreck him.

He manages to get all the way in but Ian still hasn’t relaxed, something that Mickey hasn’t experienced before, when topping. Usually after the initial stretch the guys are ready to go and begging for it, but Ian is still tense. Mickey stops, “Gallagher?”

Ian looks back at him, some normal tears from the initial stretch pricking his eyes, “Yeah?”

For some reason those completely normal tears bother Mickey when they are in Ian’s eyes. “You seem… you don’t seem…. Are you a virgin? Like an ass virgin?” Ian laughs and shakes his head, “No Mickey, I’m a practiced gay if that’s what you’re asking. It’s just…” He looks up at with Mickey with some embarrassment, who is still inside of him and just not moving anymore.

Mickey raises his eyebrows, suddenly feeling self conscious, “Just what? You don’t want to fuck me?” Ian shakes his head vigorously, “No! No, it’s not that at all! I want, I _want_ to fuck you. But I’m a top”.

Mickey pulls out, completely surprised. “I’m sorry” Ian hastily adds, missing Mickey’s new excitement at this piece of information. Mickey smirks, feeling a naughty grin spreading across his face. “You know what, Ian?”

Ian shivers as Mickey finally says his first name. “You know what I like to do?” He approaches Ian, who had turned and sat down with his legs stretched out in front of himself, and straddles him slightly. His confidence is bolstered from both the weed and being so far from home, and the fact that he's already thrown the rest of his rules out the fucking window tonight.

His body is buzzing with excitement, yeah, he woulda happily fucked the shit out of Ian, but he had bottomed twice before and knew it was for him. He usually topped just because of trust issues, but he had continued to get himself off by pushing into his prostate with his fingers ever since then.

“What” Ian breathes, looking at Mickey like he’s some sort of God. Mickey shows Ian his fingers, “I like to put these in my _ass_ , and stretch myself. Before I _bottom_ ”. Ian swallows hard, “Show me”, he whispers.

Mickey holds out his fingers and Ian obediently sucks them for him, getting them nice and wet for Mickey, before he slips them down towards his ass. Mickey groans as he begins to stretch himself past the initial burning sensation, and Ian watches with absolute interest through hooded eyes. Mickey continues to work himself open with his fingers as patiently as he can as Ian pulls him against his chest to make out, Mickey making small grunts into Ian’s mouth as he does.

 _“Get the fuck in me_ ” he finally moans against Ian’s lips, once he’s managed to get three fingers inside of himself. He gets off Ian’s lap, and lays down on the floor of the tent, propping his ass up under a pillow so Ian can have better access to it.

Ian quickly gets behind him, but then hesitates, “Can I…can I eat your ass?”

“What?” Mickey looks back at him, eyebrows raised. Gallagher was throwing all kinds of surprises his way today.

Ian blushes even from behind his straining hard on, “You know, can I lick your-“

“-Yeah, I know what it is”, Mickey interrupts, looking at him with interest, “Just never done it before”. He’d jerked off to it in pornos several times before, but he hadn’t been with a guy yet that he actually wanted to something that personal with. Even when he bottomed those two times, he was fairly reserved, and only let _that_   happen because he was extremely drunk.

Ian licks his lips, “Let me show you…”

He lowers himself down and spreads Mickey’s ass cheeks apart, before he licks a stripe from his balls upwards, causing Mickey to shudder in pleasure at the new sensation. Ian presses his tongue back down and rims the tight muscles around Mickey’s hole, and the unfamiliar hot and wet feel of his tongue drives Mickey wild. He feels so unbelievably sensitive to every single swipe of Ian’s tongue, and forces himself not to start humping into the pillow. When Ian licks down near Mickey’s balls again he can’t hold out anymore. _“Fuck me”_ he whispers, his voice hoarse and strained.

Ian licks his lips and stretches a condom on as Mickey glances behind himself, and quickly comes back up, using one hand to guide his dick against Mickey’s asshole, he takes his other hand and grips Mickey’s shoulder with it for leverage. Mickey loves being held down in this way, like he has no control over the situation. But he’s got it all.

As Ian starts to push his tip in, Mickey feels his ass constrict around it uncontrollably, and Ian continues to push in just a little too slowly for Mickey’s need. He arches his back slightly, feeling his muscles roll, and starts to push back against Ian, forcing him in faster. His ass is still tight, it’s was a while ago that he last bottomed, but he wants it so badly that his muscles relax enough to let Ian in. Ian grunts as he finally gets balls deep in Mickey, who is in weird way proud that he could take Ian’s entire cock, as it’s not lacking in any length or girth.

Ian slaps one of his ass cheeks gently, and Mickey feels his blood rise to the surface at the impact, making his hairs raise on end. He lowers his face down into a pillow to moan, wrecked from the combination of sweet pleasure and prickling pain.

Ian works into a steady pace of thrusting, each one bringing Mickey a wave of pleasure throughout his entire body. His eyes prick with tears from the sensation, but it’s a magnificent one. He feels Ian press his chest down against his back as he lowers himself to lay over Mickey, their sweat dripping onto each other. Ian’s hand moves from Mickey’s shoulder down to his hand, gripping his fingers firmly as Mickey holds on tight.

Ian breaths hotly into Mickey’s ear and he shudders in response, rolling his blue eyes back to watch Ian pounding into him. Ian’s pupils expand as he gazes back at him, and he then quickly moves his other hand around underneath Mickey’s ass to start jerking him off, who lifts his hips slightly off the ground so he can.

 _“I’m gonna cum”_  comes strangled out of Ian’s throat, and Mickey growls in pleasure, thrusting his ass back harder for a stronger impact, as Ian starts to slam directly into his prostate.

He starts to cum without the usual warning that he gets in his gut, as Ian continues pumping into his ass and onto his dick with his free hand. He feels the condom flood with warmth inside himself as Ian gasps slightly, and he knows Ian’s coming too. He presses himself down on Mickey as he finishes, momentarily exhausted.

Ian slowly gets up from his back, pushing off of Mickey’s strong body for support. He grabs his dirty t-shirt and uses it to wipe off Mickey’s cum from his hand before offering it to Mickey to clean up with. They finish cleaning up and then partially redress, Ian grabbing his clean t-shirt and boxers. They rearrange the pillows and blankets to make a new sleeping space inside the tent, and then lay down beside each other on their sides, holding a comfortable eye contact.

Ian’s beautiful green eyes are now hazy with release and contentment, and Mickey wonders what he sees back in his own blue eyes. Can he tell what I’m feeling right now, what I'm thinking? Mickey wonders.

He’s known he was gay for a little while, but he’s never felt this drawn to anyone in his entire life before. He sees Ian start to shift towards him, but before he does Mickey leans in first and kisses the redheaded boy.

It’s a long and slow kiss, Mickey wordlessly trying to pass along to Ian his intense feelings of comfort. It just feels right, the two of them here, right now. He holds one final gaze with Ian before he pulls away to go to sleep, his exhausted body aching for rest.

He knows he’ll dream of those emerald green eyes tonight, and for a very long time afterwards.

 


	3. Back to Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back home, things aren't quite so simple as they were at Oak Forest Campgrounds. Continuing on from Ian's POV.

Ian watches Mickey awkwardly get onto the school bus on Saturday morning with some satisfaction, but also a little guilt, realizing he’d left the other boy feeling a little sore and uncomfortable. They haven’t, and don’t get, a chance to talk about anything regarding the previous day, as they have been surrounded by their classmates since daybreak. They ride back to school in relative silence on the bus, Ian unsure of what he can or should say. Mickey was not just some one night stand to him, but the situation was obviously new for both of them, and neither one knew how to react.

When they arrive back at the high school, many of the students had their parents ready and waiting to pick them up in their cars and SUV’s, but neither Mickey or Ian of course has that. Mickey doesn’t comment on Ian walking up beside him, but he defends himself anyways, “We live in the same neighborhood, going the same way anyways”.

Mickey looks over at him, “Yeah I know”. Mickey takes the route than leads to his house first, but Ian follows anyways. They don’t talk much, but it’s not exactly awkward, just sort of a comfortable yet uncertain silence, about what to say. Ian is pretty happy just being close to Mickey though, and offers him another cigarette on the way. “Thanks Ian” Mickey smiles as he takes it, and he feels his stomach do a flip.

He stops as they reach the Milkovich house, realizing he’s just walked _Mickey Milkovich_ home. “See ya” Mickey says, starting to head towards the front door. “Wait!” Ian calls, and Mickey turns, eyebrow raised. He comes back to where Ian is standing, “What?” “Can I, have your number? You know, to like text you sometime?” Ian breathes out. Mickey glances up at his house uncomfortably, “Uh…yeah. Okay. Got your cell? Mine’s inside so”.

It’s clearly not an invitation to come in, so Ian nods and takes his cellphone out of his bag, and hands it to Mickey. Mickey takes the phone and punches in some numbers, adding the contact name as “Mickey”. Ian smiles as he hands the phone back to him. “See ya” Mickey says again, and this time Ian lets him go.

He walks back home smiling to himself like a fucking idiot, and he knows it. He keeps opening his phone and checking to see if Mickey’s contact info is really in there. He reaches his own house on Homan Ave and comes inside to find it full of commotion, as per usual. Carl is holding up a lighter in the living room to one of Liam’s plastic dinosaurs, and Debbie is scribbling on her sketchpad, doing a funny doodle of Liam, who is eating Cheerios in front of her.

“Hey Ian”, Fiona smiles warmly at him from the kitchen as she notices him, “How was your trip?” Ian feels himself blush, “It was… really good”. She looks at him knowingly, “Really good? Did all the girls go swimming in the lake in their bikinis or something?” She laughs, and Ian shakes his head, again wishing he could just tell everyone he’s gay. It would make things so much easier.

He goes up to his room and Lip’s sitting in there, reading some mechanics manual, “Hey, how was the trip?” he asks. Ian pushes it a bit further this time, “Good. I was partners with Mickey the whole time”. Lip frowns at him in confusion, “Mickey _Milkovich_? How is that good? Did he shoot your dinner or something?” He laughs and Ian does too, “Nah, we’re friends now though”. Lip looks surprised, “Well stranger things have happened I guess. Better to have him as a friend than an enemy”. “Yeah. I guess” Ian shrugs, wishing Lip could know.

He tries to ignore his phone all day, not wanting to text Mickey too soon. Not wanting to scare him away. And how did he even know if Mickey actually _liked_ him? _Well he gave you his number_ , he reminds himself that night, as he lays in bed. He listens to his brothers snoring for a while, unable to sleep. 

But maybe he only did that because he just wants to fuck again, that’s a possibility too. Not that Ian didn’t want that, too, but he didn’t know if he could _just_ fuck Mickey. He’s thinking about kissing him and laughing with him, just as much as the other stuff. Finally, he gropes for his phone in the dark, pulls up Mickey’s contact info, and sends “ **Hey** ”. And then after another thoughtful moment, “ **It’s Ian** ”.

His phone lights up, “ **Sup?** ”

Ian quickly types in, “ **Just layin in bed, you?** ”. He bites his thumbnail until he gets another one, “ **Boring. Having a smoke on the porch** ”.

He pictures Mickey sitting on the porch in front of his house, smoke curling from his perfect lips. “ **Oh, wish I was there** ”.

Mickey doesn’t answer for a while, and Ian feels really stupid until his phone finally lights up again, “ **Me too. See you at school on Monday** ”. Ian Gallagher falls asleep that night with the biggest fucking smile on his face.

On Sunday morning Ian sends Mickey a friend request on Facebook before he goes into work at the Kash and Grab. During his shift, he tells Kash who tries to argue with him at first, that he doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore. Kash eventually drops it when Ian reminds him he is both married, and sleeping with an underage employee.

The friend request to Mickey isn’t accepted until that night, but Ian’s phone pings to alert him when it is. Ian quickly goes to his page, and is disappointed (but not surprised) to find it quite bare.

His profile picture isn’t even of himself, it’s some band’s album cover and logo with a middle finger flipping off anyone who looks at it. Most of his statuses are months and even years back, but every so often he’d shared a song. Ian listens to every single one. He’s uploaded very few pictures, the last one being two years ago of a dog, with a very young Mickey sitting beside it, his arm wrapped around it, that says, “RIP Bandit”. He looks so innocent and small, smiling cheesily into the camera while the dog’s tongue lolls happily out of it’s big mouth beside him.

It's funny seeing Mickey so little. Ian vaguely remembers seeing that little boy playing in the street sometimes when they were younger, though he never joined him.  

Luckily, Ian finds a couple more recent pictures in his tagged photos from his sister Mandy’s account.

One’s from his last birthday, he’s got one hand stabbing into his cake with a fork and the other flipping off the photographer (his sister) “It’s douchebag’s birthday! Have a good one fuckhead ❤” the caption reads. Ian smiles at the picture until Carl comes into their room, and he hastily puts his phone away.

He doesn’t see Mickey at school the next day until Biology class, and he takes a seat beside him, Mickey of course sitting at the very back like he usually does. “Hey” Ian says, putting his bag down, as he puffs slightly. “Hey” Mickey says back, and then the teacher comes in.

It’s annoying and difficult to try and focus on the class about genetics, while Mickey is right there beside him, who is quite clearly a perfect example of good genes. He feels something touch his foot and looks down to see Mickey nudging it with his own. He blushes as he looks over at Mickey, who winks at him before pulling his foot away, and suddenly pretending to be very interested in the class.

Ian laughs at his ridiculous expression, and the rest of the class turns back to look at him, the Mrs. Lowry raising her eyebrow, “Something to share with class Ian?” she asks. He reddens, “Uh, no. Sorry”. Without looking, he knows Mickey is smirking beside him.

He texts Mickey at lunch, “ **Where are you?** ”

“ **Under the bleachers** ” comes back almost instantly, and Ian rushes across the high school grounds, to the bleachers by the football field. Sure enough, Mickey is sitting underneath them, smoking a cigarette.

He nods his head at Ian as he approaches. Ian playfully slugs his shoulder as he sits down beside him, dropping his backpack, “Thanks for getting me in trouble today”.

Mickey grins, smoke curling out from his nose, “I like making you laugh”.

Ian looks over at him, and Mickey smiles back, almost shyly. It’s fucking cute, a word he would have never thought of applying to Mickey Milkovich before. He offers Ian a drag from his cigarette, and Ian takes it, but it’s not what he wants. He glances around quickly to make sure they have privacy, before he leans in towards Mickey to kiss him. Mickey pulls back sharply, “What are you doing?”

Ian is surprised, “There’s no one around, I looked”. Mickey shakes his head, “Ian…” Ian feels his heart sink as he takes in Mickey’s tone and expression. “Out there, it was okay. _This_ was okay. But I've been thinking, and we’re home now, back to reality”. He looks over at Ian and noticing his crushed expression his own eyes sadden, “It’s not that I don’t want to Ian, fucking believe me. I… I really like you”.

Ian swallows hard, “I really like you too. I don’t expect… us to be, you know, out of the closet or anything. I’m not either. But what about in private?”

Mickey shakes his head, “It’s dangerous Ian. You think I can kiss you in private, and then act like you’re nothing in front of everyone else?” Ian looks into his serious blue eyes, and realizes Mickey’s feelings for him might just be as strong as his own. He’s not sure if that makes this better or worse.

“I still wanna hang out with you, be your friend. But I can’t be more than that” Mickey says quietly, looking down at his feet. His cigarette dangles from his fingertips, now forgotten. Ian nods, clenching his jaw, as Mickey looks back up at him apologetically. “Sure, okay” Ian says, but he gets up and exits the bleachers, leaving Mickey sitting there alone.

He’s not mad at Mickey, he thinks to himself, as he lays in bed that night. He understands what he’s saying, it makes sense. He’s probably right. But it’s fucking unfair. He feels a tear gather in his eye, and brushes it away angrily. You’re being _ridiculous_ , he tells himself, you’ve spent a couple days being close with him. You’re not _in love_. You’re _fine_ **.** _It doesn’t matter._

He sees Mickey’s name light up on his phone and opens the text quickly, hoping the other boy will have changed his mind.

" **I'm sorry.** "

Ian presses his fist to his forehead, swearing silently in frustration. He bites his lip, and deletes the message.

He’s at school the next day, standing at his locker and putting his books away, when he sees Mickey coming down the hallway, directly towards him. He quickly slams the locker shut and turns into the bathroom off of the hallway, desperate to avoid him. It doesn’t work. Mickey comes flying into the bathroom a moment later, seeing Ian standing in there alone, with red eyes.

“Why are you being like this?” Mickey pleads, looking around the empty bathroom in agitation. Ian shakes his head, “I’m not being like anything. You’re right. But I can’t be around you at all, and pretend that you’re nothing, that’s the difference between me and you”.

“You can’t even be my friend?” Mickey clarifies, looking up at Ian through pained blue eyes. Ian grits his teeth, forcing the words out that he doesn’t want to say, “No”. He leaves Mickey standing there alone once again, making his way to his next class with determination. He's not sure what it is about Mickey, or that night at Oak Forest, but nothing is the same, and everything is different for him now.

Avoiding and ignoring Mickey works for about a week, a miserable and long week, until Mrs. Lowry tells her Biology class they are going to do group projects on what they learned about ecosystems at Oak Forest Campgrounds. “Everyone get back in the pairs or groups you had there, please, and start discussing idea” she tells the class. That sort of fucking throws a wrench in Ian’s plans.

He tenses as Mickey approaches him, and sits down beside him. He seems very subdued though, unlike his usual brash and boisterous self. He rests one hand against his cheek and waits, looking at Ian through questioning blue eyes. Ian finally sighs, accepting the unavoidable situation. “Alright… poster board?” he asks. Mickey shrugs, “Whatever you think is best”.

Ian nods, continuing, “Okay. Well, we can probably just do something about the endangered species there or something. My sister Debbie has a ton of poster board and art stuff, we can work on it after school”. Mickey looks up in interest, “At your house?” He hesitates, hoping Mickey isn’t getting the wrong idea, “Yeah… to work on the project, Mickey”.

Mickey finds Ian right after school and walks back to the Gallagher house with him and Lip, after Ian explains to his older brother that they are working on a school project, who seems puzzled by their odd silence afterwards. “Thought you two were friends now?” he asks, and Ian notices how Mickey’s eyes dart towards him. “Yeah” he says, without confirming whether he is referring to what Lip thought, or whether Mickey and him are actually friends now.

Mickey stops and looks around when they enter the Gallagher house, taking in the mess and commotion with accepting eyes. Ian figures his own house is just as bad. Fiona raises an eyebrow at their guest, and Ian addresses her unspoken question with, “Mickey’s here to work on a school project. Where’s Debs?” Fiona nods at Ian’s explanation, turning back to the dishes she's scrubbing, “In her room”.

Debbie hands Ian her art supplies and a blank poster board without comment, and he brings Mickey back to his empty room and closes the door behind them, dropping the poster board on the floor. “Okay, you write” he says to Mickey, who grabs a black marker and nods. Both of them seem to be in an unspoken agreement to keep things civil. It's kinda nice being him around him again though, Ian admits to himself. 

He holds the laptop and starts googling. He watches as Mickey writes on the board, “ _Oak Forest Endangered Species- **By** **Mickey & Ian **_”. He takes an especially long time tracing out their names, Ian notices. He looks away and frowns at the scratched computer screen and the information in front of him, “I know we definitely saw these little frogs, _Wood Frogs_ , but I don’t remember seeing any of these other things”.

Mickey looks up from the board with concern, and Ian continues, “ _Red-Headed Woodpeckers_? Did you see any woodpeckers there?” Mickey nods vigorously, “Ya, I saw one Redheaded Woodpecker”. Ian frowns at him, wondering why Mickey hadn't pointed it out while they were there. “Where?”

But then he notices Mickey’s dirty grin, who gestures down at his crotch as he lifts a dark eyebrow. “ _You_ \- fuck off Mick” Ian aims a light kick at Mickey who starts laughing, and Ian can’t help but join in. God. _He missed this_ , he thinks, as he aims another gentle kick at Mickey, who scrambles back from it and then launches forwards, pulling him into a wrestling match.

Ian rubs Mickey’s dark head with his fist playfully, “Oh I’m a _redheaded woodpecker_ , am I?” He glances at the list of Oak Forest’s endangered species on the laptop and grins, “Well I guess that makes you a _Black-billed_  C _uckoo_ , doesn’t it?” Mickey laughs, “My hair’s black, not my mouth, dumbass”. Ian tips Mickey's chin upwards with one finger, playfully frowning as if he can't remember whether that's true or not, “Let me check”.

He holds Mickey there for a moment, who's looking back up at him through blue eyes shining with amusement. His eyes flicker down to Mickey’s smiling mouth and he feels more serious. Mickey’s smile falters, and his eyes drop down to Ian’s own mouth. Ian starts to lean in without thinking, but catches himself, pulling his face away from Mickey’s. “I- we, can’t” he reminds himself, shaking his head. Mickey nods bitterly, and retreats back across the room to the poster board. They hear a knock, and Fiona opens the bedroom door.

“You staying for dinner Mickey? I’ve got an extra box of mac and cheese I don’t mind making”. Mickey bites his lip and looks at Ian hesitantly before answering, “Sure… thanks”. She smiles and nods, closing the door behind her as she leaves. Ian scowls at the computer screen once she’s gone, suddenly feeling irritated, and he hears Mickey say quietly after a minute, “I can go if you want me to”.

Ian looks up, “No, no I don’t want you to go. Okay, Mickey? Do you not get how fucking annoying this is for me? How frustrating it is?” Mickey throws up his hands in disbelief, “You think it isn’t for me? I have to pretend to be someone I’m not every fucking day, at home, at school. Which wasn't all that fucking difficult until you came along".

“So do I” Ian hisses back through gritted teeth. “Yeah? Would Fiona fucking shoot you, or strangle you, if you told her you were gay?” Mickey glares back at him.

“Lower your _fucking voice_!”

Mickey comes closer and jabs a finger into Ian’s chest, “Don’t tell me what to do”. “Fuck you” Ian says, breathing heavily through his nose as he tries to keep himself from punching Mickey, or from- _he kisses him._

He fucking grabs Mickey, and kisses him with everything he’s got. Mickey shoves him off almost immediately, “I told you not to do that” he says, pleading with Ian through his eyes, “I _can’t-"_

The door suddenly opens and Debbie is there, “Dinner’s ready” she says, looking at both of them in confusion as she takes in their rattled appearances. Ian quickly nods, “Thanks Debs”.

Ian shakes his head and without another word to Mickey, leaves the bedroom. Mickey follows him downstairs, and quietly eats with his family, but Ian stops him from following him back upstairs afterwards. “No” he says quietly, making sure his family, still talking and eating dinner in the kitchen, can’t hear him.

Mickey raises his eyebrows in confusion, and Ian continues, “I told you. I don’t want to just be your friend. If you want _a friend_ , you need to look somewhere else. It’s too... it’s too hard for me. Go home”. Mickey starts to protest, and Ian presses his hand into his chest harder, “ _Go home_ Mickey”.

Mickey glances back to the rest of Ian’s family, now starting to notice that something is going on by the stairs, and he raises his hands slightly in frustration, “Fine. Fine, Ian. Bye”. He storms out of the house, and Ian quickly shuts the door behind him, and then runs up to his room, slamming the door shut behind himself angrily.

He ignores Mickey for the next week entirely, even when it’s time for them to present to the class. The project Ian had finished on his own, after ignoring Mickey’s texts asking about when they would finish it. _“You didn’t have to do it by yourself_ ” Mickey whispers to him, as they prop the poster board up against the blackboard.

Ian doesn’t answer, and Mickey sets his mouth in an angry firm line. He doesn’t say a word during the presentation, just stands there glaring while Ian presents, and Mrs. Lowry frowns at him the entire time. As soon as Ian is finished speaking, she says, “Well done Mickey, another project you obviously didn’t contribute to”. Ian glances over at Mickey, and sees his eyes are now lit up like blue fire.

He points a finger at the teacher as Ian and the rest of the class watch curiously, but they didn’t expect the following explosion, “ _Fuck you_. Stupid _fucking_ trip. FUCK YOU!” He grabs the poster board from behind himself and snaps it cleanly in half over his knee as Ian’s mouth drops open in surprise.

Mickey glances back at Ian with eyes filled with rage and hurt, and then storms out of the classroom, kicking the metal door and denting it as he does. The teacher sighs as Ian continues to stare at the now empty doorway, “Don’t worry Ian, you’ll still get an A. I don’t need to see the board”.

Ian doesn’t answer and instead drifts to the classroom doorway, looking down the empty hallways for any sign of Mickey. But there isn’t one.


	4. Broke All My Rules For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey come to an agreement to just be friends, much to Ian's disappointment. That doesn't mean he'll stop trying though. And deep down, maybe Mickey doesn't want him to.

Mickey doesn’t come back to school for several days, and every day as he stares at the empty place where he used to sit, Ian begins to feel worse and worse about the way he had acted. _Was he being too hard on Mickey?_

He had thought that this was best for them, both of them, but maybe it wasn’t. He finally caves and texts Mickey on the weekend, “ **Are you gonna come back to school?** ” Mickey doesn’t answer for a few hours, and then only answers with one word, “ **No** ”.

“ **Why**?” Ian texts back.

“ **Fuck you, that’s why** ”. Ian bites his lip, “ **I want to see you** ”.

Mickey answers back almost immediately, “ **Why** ”.

Ian can almost feel the defiance in the text, and instead of telling Mickey _why_ he answers with, “ **Meet me in that quarry by Rogers Street. Concrete building that has _fuck_ spray painted over it, guessing that was you** ”.

Ian heads to the abandoned and crumbling site and waits inside the building he had specified. Mickey hadn’t texted him back, but he had a feeling that he would show up anyways.

He does.

“What the fuck do you want Gallagher?” Mickey asks when he shows up, sniffing as he drags a hand over his nose. He glares at Ian, who shrugs, “To figure this out. Want you to come back to school, it’s not fair that you don’t go because of me”.

Mickey sneers, trying to appear careless, “You think it’s because of _you? "_

Ian sees right through the tough guy act, as shitty as it makes him feel that Mickey feels the need to put it on. “I know it is”.

“So what”, Mickey says, looking down at the ground, defeated. He kicks at some rubble casually. Ian watches him, “I was being… too hard on you. I’m sorry. I miss being your friend”. Mickey looks up and Ian continues, clearing his throat, “School sucks without you, not the same as it was for me before we were friends. And yeah, I want more, but I’ll take what I can get. I understand now”.

Mickey looks at him like some sort of scared animal, wondering if he should trust Ian, and it makes Ian’s chest hurt. _What was he doing, getting himself involved with Mickey Milkovich_? He must _act the way that he does_ for a reason… but Ian decides in that moment, that it doesn’t matter. He knows Mickey better now, knows he’s more than just the tough exterior he shows in public.

“I want more too. I broke all my rules for you that night”, Mickey says hoarsely, “But I can’t have more”. Ian blinks. Mickey could have him. He could have all of him. But he knows what he really means.

 “…I know. C’mere, can I at least have a hug? A friend hug” he clarifies, as Mickey looks at him nervously. Mickey comes over and hugs him uncertainly, like he doesn’t fucking know how to, so Ian wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a bear like hug until he hears Mickey finally start to relax, and then laugh. It’s a beautiful sound.

He pulls away, and smiles, looking at Mickey’s face, “What’s that from?” he asks, pointing at Mickey’s split lip. Mickey touches it, “Don’t remember. Iggy? Terry? _Myself?_   Who knows” he laughs. He looks lighter than he has in weeks. Ian rolls his eyes and slings his arm around Mickey’s shoulder, “Got an A on our ecosystems project”.

Mickey nods, lighting a cigarette, “Good for you”. “I told Mrs. Lowry that it wasn’t your fault what happened, that I pissed you off before we went up there, and that you did help me with it. She said she’d only give you a B though, because of your attitude”. Mickey laughs, “Can’t complain, thanks Ian”. Ian turns to him and beams, “What are friends for?”

 

“What’s your dad like?” he asks Mickey, a few days later at school, as they sit under the bleachers during lunch. Ian had realized that’s where Mickey spent most of his lunch periods, to smoke without getting caught and chastised by the teachers, and now automatically goes there to find him. He doesn’t miss the group of acquaintances that he used to spend his free time at high school with, a strange mixture of jocks and nerds.

Mickey raises his eyebrow at Ian, and he continues, “You said to me, would Fiona shoot me if I told her I was gay. I’m guessing you were thinking about your dad”. Mickey’s eyes flicker downwards to the dirt by his feet and he doesn’t say anything.

Ian presses him lightly, “C’mon Mick. He might not be happy, he wouldn’t kill you though”. Mickey takes a drag from his cigarette, “Just come over for dinner tonight”. He is about to accept the invitation until he remembers, “I have cadets til five”.  

“Come over after then”.

He knocks at the Milkovich’s front door that evening, and a built and angry looking man with white hair answers the door a moment later, a sneer already on his face. He glares at Ian’s army uniform, “Who the fuck are you?”

Before Ian can answer Mickey comes up from behind his dad and opens the door fully, “Ian. I already told you, my friend Ian was coming over for dinner. I made spaghetti” he says, looking at Ian meaningfully. Ian nods, “Uh, yeah. Sounds good. Thanks for having me over” he says to Mr. Milkovich, who ignores him in response.

Ian follows Mickey into the dingy house, and realizes his own house actually looks pretty decent compared to this one. It’s dark and filthy, and he sees guns lying around on more than one surface. Mickey’s sister Mandy is already sitting at the kitchen table with some food, but his half brothers are nowhere in sight, and it looks like they won’t be joining them for dinner. Mickey dumps spaghetti onto some plates and puts one down in front of his dad first, and then one in front of Ian, serving himself last. He scrapes his chair up to the table and starts eating.

It’s fairly quiet, Terry just complains every so often about ‘work’ that day, which didn’t sound like a legal job to Ian, or about the ‘shit dinner’ that Mickey made. Ian is still looking at Mickey in  confusion as he eats, wondering why he had invited him over. How did this answer his question? His dad was clearly a dick, yes, but a murderer? Then again, there were several guns in the house... Mickey notices Ian’s expression and bites his lip and raises his eyebrows, before turning to his dad.

“Ian looks pretty good in his cadet’s uniform, doesn’t he dad?”

Mandy drops her fork in surprise, and Ian’s eyes widen, as Terry slowly turns towards his son, his face reddening. He strikes Mickey without warning, right in the face, backhanding him so hard that Mickey’s chair scrapes back against the floor with him _still in it_. Mickey barely reacts, as Ian watches on in horror, and just calmly pulls his chair back up to the table.

“Say something _gay_ like that again and I’ll _shove a Glock_ down your fucking throat. You should be more like your friend here. Be a man, get a uniform” Terry growls. “Dad, you hate officials”, Mandy reminds him, now also apparently completely unfazed by his assault on her brother. Ian just sits there awkwardly, partly in shock, partly trying to control himself from either hugging Mickey, or punching Terry. Terry grunts in response to Mandy’s comment, and continues eating.

Ian feels terrible as Mickey walks him back home after dinner. “I didn’t know”, he says weakly. It’s clear to him that those types of altercations are common in the Milkovich household, based on the entire family’s reactions to it. He'd heard rumors about what Terry Milkovich was like, but he'd always taken them with a grain of sand before today.

Mickey shrugs nonchalantly, “It’s okay”. Ian shakes his head, “No, it’s not. I want you to stay at my place tonight”. He wonders why Mickey couldn’t have just explained to him what his dad was like, but Mickey clears it up for him before he has to ask.

Mickey laughs, “Oh, no, Ian. I just wanted to show you that I’m not making up shit to avoid anything with you. I really fucking gotta watch how I act, all the time. And it’s fine, honestly. If he actually thought I was gay, he would have shot me in the face right in front of you”. He laughs, but Ian cringes at the thought.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Mickey asks him happily as they reach the Gallagher porch, and Ian looks at him dejectedly, watching the pale skin around his cheek and eye already bruising, “Yeah of course, night Mick”. “Night”, Mickey nods at him and then turns back the way they had come from. Ian watches him walk down the sidewalk until he’s completely out of sight.

 

Going forward, Mickey and Ian start to spend almost all of their free time together, but only at the Milkovich residence when Terry is gone, of course. It’s easier that way.

Mickey comes over to the Gallagher house on school mornings. When Ian steps outside he always finds Mickey on the front porch, having a smoke, while he waits for Ian to come outside.  Lip raises his eyebrows at this at first, but never says anything about it. His younger siblings don’t seem to mind Mickey’s new presence either, and he’s surprisingly not bad at helping out with younger kids, once he starts tagging along when Ian has to babysit. He’s even quicker at breaking up Debbie and Carl’s spats than Ian is, and he carries Liam sometimes when he gets tired.

They find each other at lunch every day at the highschool, and sit beside each other in the classes they share, biology, math, and sometimes combined gym classes. They walk home together after school, with Lip too of course, and text each other sometimes during the night about something funny they had seen while they were apart. To everyone else, it appears like they are newfound best friends. And they are but, of course, there’s more to it. Even if they don’t talk about it anymore.

Mickey’s attendance at school starts to skyrocket, much to his teachers’ surprise and pleasure. Gone are the days of him skipping school several times a week, the very reason he was held back last year. His grades start to go up too. Mickey doesn’t tell him this, but Ian peeks and sees the B’s and occasional A’s that get handed back to him in class. He wonders why though, since Mickey had completely stopped asking him for answers after that class trip.

So, one day in math, he asked Mickey why he didn’t anymore.

Mickey laughs at the question, “I never needed the answers man”. Ian frowns at him, confused, “Then why would you ask me for them...?” He turns around and stares at him as if it’s painfully obvious, “…So I had an excuse to talk to you, dumb ass”.

Ian flushes with pleasure at his admission, but it’s also sort of a painful reminder than Mickey has feelings for him too. Feelings that he continues to bury. Maybe Mickey notices the change of expression on his face, because he smiles at Ian sadly before turning back to his equations.

It’s more than just feelings, too. Ian had never picked his fling with Kash back up, not even when he realized he and Mickey wouldn’t be having sex again. He didn’t pursue any one else to have sex with either. The only things he ever masturbated to now were either thoughts of his and Mickey’s night together at the campgrounds, or imagining himself and Mickey in the pornos he watched, doing what the actors were doing. It's preferable to anything else he could dream up.

Sometimes he tries to bait Mickey into complimenting him or acknowledging him, as childish as it makes him feel, he just likes getting attention from Mickey. He uploads a picture of himself to his Facebook on one unusually hot October day, shirtless and “ _headed to the pool_ ”. It gets several likes, mostly from his female classmates, but not one from Mickey. Ian is irritated until he gets a text from him later that day.

“ **We should go swimming** ”.

He immediately perks up, and texts back quickly, “ **Taking my siblings again tomorrow to the public pool, u should come :)** **”** His phone lights up, “ **Sure, I’ll come over in the morning** ”

Ian hollers through the house, “DEBBIE, CARL, LIAM, POOL TOMORROW!”

His younger sister and brothers are eager to go to the pool the next day, as the weather is still pleasantly warm, and Mickey helps him herd them there. Mickey blows up an inflatable ring for Liam while Ian slathers sunscreen on his siblings, and then Debbie and Carl take their youngest brother into the pool with his ring. Ian smiles at them until he turns to see Mickey taking off his shirt, and his mind immediately flashes back to him doing that that night in the tent, right before they fucked.

He feels himself getting hard almost immediately, it’s been a long while since he did anything but jerk himself off, compared to how he used to be. It used to be so easy, just going in to work and fucking Kash whenever he wanted to get off. He stares at Mickey’s bare chest, unable to pull his eyes away from it, wishing he could touch it like he did that night.

Mickey notices him staring, and glances down at his crotch. He quickly looks away from Ian, as he yanks his own shirt off, who can see Mickey is clearly fighting his own burgeoning arousal. They both jump into the cold pool immediately, and avoid each other for a few minutes, until Mickey comes back around to splash Ian with some chilly water.

Ian splashes him back, “You fucking drive me crazy” he whispers, blinking water from his green eyes. “Oh yeah?” Mickey asks, laughing. “Yeah you’re fucking annoying”. Mickey does an exaggerated pout, like he is offended, and Ian splashes him again, laughing as he swims across the pool.

He drops his siblings back off at home for Lip for watch, when they are done at the pool, now done with his babysitting shift for the day. Mickey invites him back to his empty house to hang out for a couple hours, and Ian of course agrees.

When they go inside he starts to head to the living room, where they always hang out and play video games or watch movies, but Mickey hesitates to follow him, “Do you wanna see my room?” he asks. Ian turns in surprise at the offer, “Yeah, sure”.

He had wondered why Mickey didn’t invite him in there before, and figured that he was just very private, due to the **_“STAY THE FUCK OUT!”_** sign on the bedroom door. But as Mickey swings open the door, he sees it’s a fairly normal bedroom for any angsty teenage guy.

The walls are covered in posters, some offensive symbols and words, and lots of odd sketches that he assumes Mickey did himself. Mickey watches Ian move around his bedroom with curiosity. “Must be nice not sharing” Ian laughs, thinking of his own crowded bedroom. Mickey tips his head in response, “Yeah, I guess”. Ian sits down on his red bedspread and Mickey stares at him before shaking his head, clearing some unshared image from it, “I’m getting a beer, want one?”

“Yeah sure” Ian says, still looking around the room, taking in the details. He pictures Mickey sitting in here at night, texting him, doing whatever else he does, sleeping. Mickey leaves the room, and Ian’s eyes drift over towards a magazine that’s fallen between the bed and the nightstand. He picks it up to put it back on the nightstand, and smirks as he sees it’s a straight porno mag. He thumbs through it casually, wondering what guys inside of it are Mickey’s type. _Muscular? Blonde? Black? Tattooed? Tall?_ Something flutters out from between the pages of the magazine, to the floor, as he flips through it, and he leans down to pick it up.

His mouth drops open when he sees what it is. _It’s a picture of him,_ the picture he had posted yesterday on Facebook of himself, shirtless. Mickey must have printed it out. Speaking of Mickey, he suddenly comes back into the room. He stands there, reddening in embarrassment, as he sees what Ian is staring at.

Ian blushes in return as he looks back at his best friend, “I just saw the magazine on the floor, and this fell out”. He waves the picture slightly and then sticks it back inside of the magazine, slapping it shut and putting it back where he found it. 

Mickey is still blushing furiously, clearly at a loss for words, but Ian shakes his head casually. “I don’t care Mick, seriously. It’s cool. You think I don’t jerk off thinking about that night?”

Mickey approaches him slowly with the beers, and Ian doesn’t add that it’s _all_ he jerks off to, as he accepts one of them. He just hadn’t thought of using a picture yet, it's a good fucking idea. They sit there in silence for a moment, drinking their beers on Mickey’s bed, and Ian can’t keep himself from continuing, “It was hot as fuck”. Mickey laughs darkly, “Yeah”.

Just knowing Mickey still wants him too spurs Ian on, and he texts him that night as he sits in his room, too horny to focus on his English homework, “ **You should update your Facebook”.**

“ **What do you mean”** Mickey sends back. Ian bites his lip, sending, “ **Upload a pic** ”.

Lip suddenly speaks from his bunkbed across the room, apparently forgetting about his own homework. “Are you trying to fuck Mandy Milkovich?" The question startles Ian and he drops his phone, “No? Why the fuck would you ask me that??”

Lip shrugs, “I heard a rumor. You spend a lot of time over there. I know you’re Mickey’s friend and all but I suggest you don’t try and bang his sister, he’ll still probably kill you”. Ian hesitates to respond, “I’m… _I’m sort of_ …. I like someone else”.

“Like? The girl you’re obviously texting right now?” Lip teases, smirking at the childish term.

Ian burns red with embarrassment, and desperate, tries to probe his older brother for some wisdom. “I dunno. Like if it’s a crush, or something else, how the fuck do you even tell?” Lip shrugs, “Fuck if I know. I _fuck,_ that’s what I do, Ian. That’s what _you_ should do. Don’t get feelings involved”.

Ian shakes his head at the pointless suggestion, he’s way beyond that point. There were probably feelings involved from the very moment Mickey sat beside him on the bus that day.

“Does she know how you feel?” Lip asks, noticing the troubled look on his brother's face. Ian thinks of how badly he wants Mickey, how he tried to stay away but just couldn’t, taking anything he could get from the other boy, as shitty as being friend zoned was. “Yeah… they know”.

“Doesn’t feel the same way?” Lip adds, still trying to understand why he's frustrated. Ian looks up slowly, thinking of the picture he found in Mickey’s magazine, of what Mickey had told him underneath the bleachers, “No, they do”. Lip laughs, “then what’s the problem?”

Luckily, he’s missing the sadness in Ian’s eyes as he looks away, “It’s complicated”. He feels his phone vibrate and looks down at it, “ **Don’t like taking pics of myself”.** Ian quickly types back, “ **Why??”**

“ **Shy about shit like that** ”. Ian sighs in frustration, ignoring the look Lip gives him, but his brother tries again to impart some of his wisdom.

“Ian, if you’re trying to get a nude from a chick, you gotta make her comfortable. Tell her she’s got an amazing fuckin bod, you can’t get it out of your head, shit like that. They _eat it right up_ ”.

Ian hesitates, wondering if the same principles apply to gay guys, but decides to take his older brothers advice, even though he’s not trying to push Mickey for a nude. Yet.

“ **Shouldn’t be shy. I’ve seen you, nothing to be shy about. Trust me** ” he sends to Mickey. His phone stays silent for a while and he tries to focus on his English book again, but about half an hour later he gets a notification from Facebook that Mickey’s updated his profile picture.

He quickly opens the app, shaking his phone as the photo loads sluggishly.

It finally finishes loading. Mickey’s sitting on the front porch of his house, and it’s pretty dark out, so his face is dimly lit. But he’s sitting there, smiling slightly at the camera, his dark hair slicked back. _Fuck he looks good._

Ian immediately presses like.

“ **Happy now?** ”

Ian smiles at his phone and texts back, “ **Yes** ”.

He finds Mickey under the bleachers at lunch as per usual the next day, but he doesn’t sit down beside him like he usually does, and Mickey looks back up at him with an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Do you wanna grab lunch today?” Ian asks, fingering the straps of his backpack. Mickey frowns, “Like….?” “Like grab lunch” Ian rolls his eyes, “It’s not a date. McDonald’s or whatever. I forgot to pack a lunch”. That’s a downright lie, he purposely didn’t pack one, but he knows Mickey will go if he thinks Ian doesn’t have another option.

Sure enough, he nods and stands, brushing off his jeans.

They walk to the nearest McDonald’s about five minutes from the school, and get in line. “What do you usually get?” he asks Mickey, casually adding, “I’m not sure what I want, need ideas”. Mickey shrugs, “I’m not exactly picky man. I’ll get something cheap”.

He glances around at some of their other classmates sitting in the restaurant as Ian approaches the cashier, deciding it doesn’t matter, “Two Quarter Pounders with cheese, fries, and cokes please. To go”. Ian can feel Mickey staring daggers into his back as he takes out his cash, and he ignores it completely. He takes the greasy bag from the cashier and heads outside, Mickey following him out of the restaurant closely.

“ _Why did you do that_?”, Mickey hisses, as soon as they get outside. He looks embarrassed, “I didn’t _ask you_ to buy me anything”.

“Friends buy each other food sometimes Mick” Ian shrugs, casually. Too casually. “ _Bullshit._ I can pay for myself! I’m your friend, not your _bitch_!” Mickey spits. Ian looks back at him, hurt.

Mickey glances away angrily again, pinching his nose tightly between two fingers before his expression softens. “I’m sorry. I sound like a dick. It’s just, we agreed…” he trails off.

Ian looks down, suddenly not hungry at all anymore. He was definitely pushing it, first with the picture and now this...he just couldn’t help himself. “You’re right, I’m sorry”. He walks over to the garbage and tosses his own food into it. Mickey’s eyes widen in surprise at his wastefulness, “Ian, what the hell did you do that for?”

“I’m just not really hungry. Big breakfast” Ian lies, shrugging.

Mickey’s shoulders droop slightly, obviously feeling guilty, “Well, you’re splitting with me then. Come on, we’re gonna be fucking late”. Mickey starts to walk back towards the school and Ian follows him, jogging a little to catch up.

“Hey, our gym classes are doing combined rugby today” Ian remembers, as he sees his coach gathering some students on the field already. They must have missed the bell.

“Yeah, guess lunch is over, here”. Mickey hands Ian the burger from his bag, and starts scarfing down the fries himself, while they head towards the locker room. They get changed quickly beside each other, Ian carefully not looking at Mickey. _Okay, maybe he sneaks a glance_. Just one though. Mickey looks back at him with an eyebrow raised in warning and he looks away.

Mickey in a rugby uniform… _is fucking hot._ Ian can barely keep his eyes off his best friend as they get to the field. They end up on the same team, and its probably lucky Ian is placed as a prop in the front, with Mickey slightly behind him as a flanker, or he’d never be able to focus on the game.

But Ian doesn’t see what Mickey is doing as the game starts, and in fact after a while he is entirely lost in the game and the head to head competition, as he slams into the other players, forcing back their defense. His competitive side thrives during sports, and his physical training as a cadet makes him a formidable opponent.

About halfway through the game Ian lines up across from another player though, Tyler, who makes a dirty move, and ends up headbutting Ian in the stomach with his helmet. Ian drops like a stone, gasping as he clutches at his stomach in pain.

The rest of his team immediately starts to complain about the foul, but one teammate takes it a step further, and comes charging past him, tackling Tyler, and slamming him into the ground. Ian doesn’t have to look twice, he knows it’s Mickey. He can’t draw enough breath to shout at him, but he can see Mickey is clearly in a blind rage, straddling the other player to the ground as he knocks his helmet off and begins delivering punch after punch to his head.

The rest of the players on both teams surge forward and get involved in the fight, the excess of teenage male testosterone taking over as the coach blows his whistle furiously, trying to get them to stop wailing on each other.

Ian gets up, wincing, the only player not involved in the chaos, and watches as Mickey’s gaze flickers upwards from Tyler, who he’s still currently pummeling on, and lands on Ian. He’s drenched in sweat, wide eyed and slack jawed, as he starts to calm down from his blind fury. He continues to look up at Ian, his eyes now unfocused, until Tyler takes advantage of him being distracted, and slams a fist upwards into his nose.

The coach reaches them a second later and yanks Mickey off of Tyler, screaming into his ear as he does, “MILKOVICH! YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK, GET OFF MY FIELD”. Mickey flips him off and holds his gushing nose calmly, walking away towards Ian as he does. Ian shakes his head as soon as he arrives at his side, “Jesus Mickey”.

Mickey grins, blood running down into his teeth, “What?”, he asks innocently. He clearly lives for this shit. 

“C’mon”, Ian puts his arm around his best friends’ shoulder and heads back to the locker room with Mickey, finding him a clean towel for his nose, “You better go home”.

Mickey nods, his voice muffled from underneath the towel, “Yeah. Guess I got a week off”. He laughs, entirely unfazed by his wrecked nose, and Ian fights the urge to kiss his sweaty head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to include some heavier stuff in there to build the story! This was originally supposed to be a oneshot so I'm not really sure of where this will go, if I have enough ideas to I'm thinking of continuing it until the end of their highschool experience. Thanks for reading and the comments and kudos :)


	5. You Know Damn Well Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's suspension leaves Ian realizing how much his school life has changed since knowing him. Unable to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself, him and Mickey get into a fight that leaves Ian with a difficult decision about what to do next. Keep trying, or move on?

Ian feels a little disappointed when he goes outside the next morning to head to school, and doesn’t see Mickey sitting there waiting for him, like he usually does. Mickey of course has no reason to be there, after being suspended for a week, for wailing on one of their classmates during rugby practice. A classmate who was being a dick and hurt Ian first.

Even Lip’s heard about it by morning, as they walk to school together he says to his younger brother, “Saw Mickey’s status, that why he wasn’t waiting on our porch this morning as per usual? What did Tyler do?” Ian looks at him, remembering what Mickey had posted to his Facebook.

**_Suspended for a week, Coach Green can kiss my ass. And fuck u Tyler_ **

“Yeah, I don’t know, they got in a stupid fight during rugby practice. Mickey beat the shit out of him”.

Lip laughs, “Why? Did Tyler look at him funny?” Mickey’s known for being a hothead.

Ian shrugs, not wanting to get into it. He finds it a little funny how Mickey is so worried about not being anything more than friends, but then he goes and does something like that. An obvious display of how much he cares.

Or maybe it’s just obvious to Ian, because no one comments on it when he gets to school. He sees Tyler in the hallway on his way to class and notes his black eye and split lip, but Tyler doesn’t seem annoyed to seem Ian at all, clearly having forgot why the altercation started in the first place. He actually nods at Ian as he passes, and Ian touches his still tender stomach as he walks to math class.

Instead of sitting in his usual seat, he takes the one Mickey usually sits in. He listens to his teacher explain what will be on their next math test, but his attention fades and his green eyes drift down to the desk’s surface, where years of scratches and initials done by other highschool students lie. He scans over all of them until he narrows down onto one in particular. **_MILKOVICH._**

Ian traces it with his finger, wondering when Mickey did it. He glances up to see if his teacher is paying attention, but he’s writing on the board now, his back to his students. Ian takes his pen and begins to scratch into the desk’s abused surface, on a small clear space about an inch underneath where Mickey’s last name is. **_GALLAGHER._**

He isn’t sure what to do with himself at lunch. He sees a group of students he is sort of friends with heading to the cafeteria, and he’s sure they wouldn’t mind if he joined them, but he doesn’t really want to. He heads to the bleachers by the field and plops down on the ground where Mickey is usually sitting at this time of day. He sighs, watching some grains of dirt drift away from him as he does. The wind is cooler today, the weather having taken a sharp turn into fall, as the warm days of late summer vanished. He sees a cigarette butt by his feet and picks it up in his fingers. Marlboro. One of Mickey’s.

He drops it and pulls out his phone. “ **How’s the suspension?** ”

Mickey answers back about a minute later, “ **Boring. Just playin video games. Could use a second player** ”. Ian thinks for a moment, “ **Want me to come over?** ”

“ **Well yeah, but you’ll get in trouble** ” Ian stands up and brushes off his pants, “ **Idfc** ”.

He smiles when Mickey opens the front door to let him in, “How’s your nose?”

Mickey touches his slightly swollen nose gingerly, “I’ve had worse, come on”. He waves Ian inside, and heads back to his spot the couch. An open bag of chips is resting on the couch beside him, and he tosses Ian an extra controller, “Cod?”  “Yeah sure” Ian loves any FPS style video games, which maybe isn’t surprising, given his interest in the army. He’s a lot better than Mickey, who tries but fails to control his frustration as Ian destroys him over and over again.

Mickey’s player falls to the ground, clutching his chest as blood sprays from a stab wound delivered by Ian’s character. Mickey snaps, “Will you fuck off? Quit screen peeking”. Ian adamantly argues back, “I’m not screen peeking!”

“Bullshit you’re not, how come the fucking second I come around a corner, you’re already fucking waiting there?” “You’re just shit at the game Mickey” Ian laughs. Mickey shoots him a dirty look. Ian bites his lip as he glances over at his cranky crush, and purposely fudges his aim the next time he runs into Mickey on the map.

“A-ha! Take that ginger” Mickey crows, clearly pleased with his kill. Ian doesn’t answer, pretending to be annoyed, and plays progressively worse, just slowly enough so that Mickey won’t suspect anything, until Mickey wins. He turns to Ian, his blue eyes flashing with delight. Ian feels a sudden urge to pull him into a kiss, but before he leans over, the front door opens and Terry comes in.

Mickey’s smile vanishes, and he turns and scowls at the tv screen as his dad heads into the kitchen. They hear him banging around in there and starting to swear, and Ian turns to Mickey, “I better head home”. Mickey nods, chewing the inside of his cheek, watching as Ian walks out the front door.

Fiona pounces on him as soon as he gets home, “Why weren’t you at school after lunch period??”

Ian hesitates, and decides to play dumb, “I was”. She looks at him in exhaustion, “Yeah, the school called, Ian. Come on, tell me”. He shrugs, “I wasn’t doing anything bad. Mickey got suspended because of me so I went over to hang out with him, keep him company”. Fiona groans, “You’re skipping school because of Mickey? I don’t like that Ian, don’t like it all”. He holds up his hands in defeat, “Fine, I won’t do it again. Sorry”.

The next day at lunch Mickey texts him, “ **Okay so I’m thinking melee, one vs. one”**

Ian sighs, slowly typing back, “ **Can’t skip again, Fiona was super pissed** ”. He kicks at the grass by his feet until Mickey answers again, “ **Oh, okay** ”.

Ian puts his phone away and heads towards a group of his classmates that he sees passing by, Brent and Becca being in the mix, “Hey guys. Mind if I chill?” They shrug, “Nah course not”. He listens to them talk about the usual stuff, shitty teachers, who’s fucking who, just typical highschool gossip, and misses Mickey’s preferable company terribly. “So, why do you hang out with Milkovich?” Ian looks up suddenly at Brent’s question.

“He’s hot” Becca laughs, and Brent rolls his eyes, “I didn’t ask why _you’d_ hang out with him, I asked why Ian would. He’s kind of a greaser, isn’t he?” He laughs meanly and Ian fights the anger bubbling inside of him, he’d like to punch Brent right in his smug face. Thinks he’s so fucking great with his Adidas sneakers and AE t-shirts. Douchebag probably doesn’t even realize Ian’s dressed in hand me downs half the time too.

But he can't do any of that. “Mickey’s actually really cool” he tries to say casually, “We’re friends”. Brent nods, “Whatever you say, man. But you can hang out with us instead whenever, you know that, right?” Ian cocks his eyebrow at him, “Oh yeah? Can Mickey hang out with you too?” Brent hesitates, and it’s enough of an answer for Ian. He coldly ignores him for the rest of the day.

He tries to call Mickey when he gets home that night, but Mickey declines the call and sends him a text instead, “ **Sorry, dad’s around. Just text** ”.

Ian chews the inside of his cheek, sitting back on his bed, he looks up at the ceiling blankly for a moment before texting back, “ **Wanted to hear your voice** ”. Mickey doesn’t answer, and Ian tosses his phone to the end of his bed in annoyance. It was probably stupid for him to text that, what was Mickey supposed to even say to that? He digs through his backpack for his math homework and works on it until he hears Fiona holler for him from downstairs, “IAN”.

He sighs and closes his math textbook, dropping it on his bed before he comes down the stairs two steps at a time, “What?” he snaps, irritably. His frown immediately lifts when he sees Mickey standing there in the living room, lifting a hand in hello.

Fiona tips her head at Mickey and heads back to the kitchen, clearly feeling somewhat cool towards him after Ian’s skipping the previous day. “Wanna hit the store with me?” Mickey asks, “Gotta get smokes”. Ian nods quickly, “Yeah sure”. He grabs a light coat and follows Mickey outside.

Mickey pulls out a packet of cigarettes as soon as they get outside and offers one to Ian, who takes it in confusion. “Thought you needed…?” Mickey shakes his head, “Nah, but I wasn’t gonna say in front of your sister, wanna go for a walk? Sounds fuckin gay man”.

Ian lets Mickey light his cigarette, “So you _did_ just wanna go for a walk?” Mickey chuckles, “You tell me, texting me shit about wanting to hear my voice. Figured seeing me in person was better than a fuckin phone call”.

Ian blushes, and looks at Mickey shyly. “Sorry, school was just really shit today without you”. Mickey holds his cigarette between two fingers, taking it away from his mouth, “Yeah?”

“People talking shit, same old". Mickey raises an eyebrow, “Who’s ass do I gotta kick?” Ian laughs, shaking his head, “No one’s. Just miss hanging out with you at school”. He nods, “Yeah it’s boring at home too”.

They reach the baseball field and climb over the locked fence, before going to sit in the dugout. Mickey leans back casually on the bench, and Ian notices him shiver slightly in the cool fall air, dressed only in a tank top. Nights especially are getting cold now. Ian looks at the goosebumps on Mickey’s arms, and without thinking, drifts a hand over and runs his fingertips over Mickey’s pale skin, causing even more bumps to rise under his fingers. Mickey swallows hard and looks at Ian nervously, “What-what the fuck are you doing?”

Ian takes his hand away and gets up to sit back down beside him, putting his arm around Mickey, who looks up at him, his blue eyes pensive.

“You’re cold” Ian murmurs, as Mickey tips his head back, leaving it to rest in the crook of Ian’s arm. They look at each other for a moment, Mickey biting his lip, Ian searching his blue eyes for a sign. Ian moves his face an inch closer to Mickey’s, who’s pupils darken in response. He shivers as a strand of red hair falls from Ian’s forehead and brushes against him, as Ian closes the gap between them, pressing his lips to Mickey’s, feeling like the rest of the world is entirely shut out in that moment. Ian shivers himself, not from the cold, but from the sensation of finally fucking having Mickey’s lips against his own again.

But it doesn’t last.

Mickey struggles out from underneath him, and backs away from Ian and the bench. “Why did you fucking do that?” he pants, angrily. Ian glares at him, “Don’t ask stupid fucking questions, you know why. You know damn well why, and don’t fucking tell me you didn’t kiss me back, because I felt it!”

“We’re _friends_ Ian!” Mickey yells. Ian stands up from the bench, now raising his own voice, “Friends who wanna spend every fucking minute of every fucking day together? Friends who beat the shit out of someone when _the other guy is perfectly capable of doing it for himself_? FRIENDS DON’T MASTURBATE TO EACHOTHER’S PICTURES MICKEY”.

Mickey’s mouth drops open in shock, and he struggles for a moment with what to say before he hisses, “ _You said that was fine_ ”.

Ian jabs a finger at him, “Of course it is _,_ I _fucking jerked off_ to your picture last night! But not in a ‘ _friendly’_ way!” Mickey pushes Ian’s hand away from him, “What, do you just want to _fuck me or something?_ Is that the _fucking problem_ Ian?”

Ian is furious now, “No I don’t want to just _fuck you_ Mickey. I want to kiss you, I want to hold you. I want you to fucking admit that you want that shit too!” Mickey shakes his head, and lets out a shaky laugh. “I can’t fucking do this right now Ian, I really can’t. I gotta go home, I’ll talk to you later”. Ian watches as Mickey scales the fence easily and takes off into the night, trembling with anger as he does.

He spits into the dirt and combs his fingers through his red hair sharply. He takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls deep into the hidden apps he has buried in his Extras folder. He taps on Grindr, a hookup app he hasn’t used since the past summer. He sniffs as his profile pops up, and he selects within two miles. He swipes _no_ on several attractive guys, not sure what he’s looking for until he sees it.

_Josh, 18._

His hair is black, but slightly longer, although it’s jammed mostly under a ballcap. His eyes are bright blue. His profile just says _Hit me up!_ and the green icon says he’s online.

“ **You bottom?** ” Ian sends, still panting from anger.

Josh answers back almost instantly. “ **Yeah I do ;) Wanna come over?** ”

 _“Fuck”_ Ian throws his phone to the ground, and kicks the fence in front of himself, swearing as it rattles from the impact. He shakes his head, and then he picks up his phone again and sends another message.

 “ **Yes, send address** ”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed a bit at Ian's outburst during their fight, not gonna lie XD
> 
> Also, thanks so much for the kudos and feedback! It's awesome, and to be honest this was only gonna be a oneshot but the ideas in the comments made it continue, so kudos to you guys! If you have any ideas for cute highschool stuff, feel free to comment it any maybe I'll be able to work it in somewhere :)


	6. I...Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian makes his decision, and decides to hide the incident from Mickey. Mickey comes around to admit something to him, and it changes the nature of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is split, I'll post the second shorter half tonight most likely! My work/school schedule is fucked right now so I don't have time to edit the whole the thing and wanted to make sure I at least got a good chunk of it posted before I head out.

Ian double checks the address on his phone, before walking up to the front door and knocking on it aggressively. A dark-haired boy answers it after he waits there for about a minute, with his hands in his pockets, and holds it open to let him inside. Ian doesn’t ask if Josh is his real name or not, and he doesn’t really give a fuck. His own profile says that his name is Curtis.

“Thanks” he says as he comes inside, panting slightly from exertion. Something Josh doesn’t fail to notice. “Jesus, did you run here or something? Couldn’t get here fast enough?” Josh winks at him.

“Sure, whatever. We doing this in your room, or here?” Ian asks as he glances around, knowing he probably sounds like an asshole. But he just doesn’t care. Josh just laughs, apparently unfazed by Ian’s obviously foul mood. Maybe he’s one of those guys that gets off on comforting strangers, Ian wonders briefly. Josh reaches over and yanks his jacket off, “Well if you’re in such a hurry, here will do”.

He leans in to kiss Ian, but he turns his head, avoiding it. Josh frowns slightly but lets it go, “You not much of a kisser Curtis?” he asks, as he undoes his pants. Ian shakes his head as he undoes his own belt.

He pulls down his boxers partway and spits into his hand a few times before putting his hand to his own cock. It twitches in interest after a moment and starts to harden, and he tips his head at Josh, indicating he should lean up against the closed front door, feeling like he’s underwater. Josh starts some dirty talk, trying to egg him on, but Ian’s ears are ringing and he’s not hearing anything anymore, as he grabs a condom from his wallet. He tears it open and slides the condom on, pressing one hand into Josh’s shoulder as he leans up behind him, getting ready to fuck him.

He pauses, looking at Josh squirm slightly in anticipation below him.

He looks at the back of Josh’s dark head, and finally notices that his hair isn’t naturally black, not like Mickey’s.

 _Mickey_ …

He suddenly feels sick to his stomach and he backs away from Josh, picking up his jeans as he does.

Josh turns around in confusion and disappointment, “What are you doing?” Ian shakes his head harshly, “I can’t do this right now, I’m sorry”. He yanks his jacket back on and pulls open the front door roughly, ignoring Josh’s _what the fuck expression_ as he runs past him out of the house and into the night.

He is almost sobbing by the time that he gets home, he is so angry and pained, and he sees a figure sitting in the dark on the front porch as he approaches, a haze of smoke around them. “ _Mickey?_ ” he calls, his voice strained. “ _Uh,_ no? Just me”.

It’s Lip, Ian sees as he gets closer. Sitting out there having a cigarette. He looks up at him from the porch step in concern, “What the fuck happened to you?”

Ian looks up at the dimly lit house and then down at his older brother, “I… fucked up. I almost fucked someone”. Lip looks confused, by both the _almost_ , and the fact that fucking someone could be a problem, “Uh…?”

He tries to explain, “Not the person I told you about, the person I, have feelings for”. Lip turns his hands up slightly, “So? You’re not dating”.

Ian swallows hard, “It feels wrong”. It did, every nerve in his body was buzzing with agitation, like he had offended them in some way.

“Then why’d you almost do it?” Lip asks, handing him a cigarette. Ian shakes his head at the offering, turning it down, “I was pissed off”.

“Well, it sounds like you have some weird fucking thing going on. But a chick that doesn’t put out can’t tell you not to fuck anyone else either, little bro”.

Ian almost laughs, this conversation is so fucked up, but then he feels slightly sick again as he thinks of Mickey’s face, how he looked at the dugout tonight. “How am I supposed to tell them what I did?” Lip butts out his cigarette, “You don’t. You don’t owe her anything if you’re not dating. Forget about it, it’s not like you actually did anything”.

Ian’s heart rate starts to settle as he considers this. If he could avoid talking about this with Mickey, would that be so bad? Lip had a point, they weren’t dating… but he knew it would change things anyways between them if he told Mickey. Still, he didn’t _actually_ go through with it. For once, he’s glad for the radio silence between him and Mickey. He doesn’t text him that night at all, instead letting his mind flood him with guilt over what he'd almost done, and the look that had been on Mickey’s face, while he had yelled at him in the baseball field.

To his surprise though, when he comes outside in the morning to go to school, Mickey’s sitting there, smoking a Marlboro on the porch, just like any other day.

Mickey turns at the sound of the door opening, “Ian”. He stands up and then reaches back down for the two to-go coffees he had resting on the stoop beside himself. “Got you a coffee” he says, offering it to him. Ian takes it uncertainly, “Uh… thanks”. He walks down the rest of the steps, “I gotta go to school”.

Mickey looks back at the house, “Is Lip going to school today?” He shrugs, “Nah, he’s still sleeping”. Ian’s not sure if he would rather have Lip here or not right now, because he’s pretty sure Mickey is about to give him shit for the way he acted last night. Not that he can blame him, but he’s scared Mickey will tell him he doesn’t want to hang out with him anymore, if he can’t keep his feelings to himself. And he really doesn’t know if he can do that. He keeps trying, and failing.

Mickey nods, “I’ll walk with you”. Ian glances at him, “Okay”.

He takes a tentative sip from the coffee Mickey brought him as he settles into a steady pace beside him, gripping his fingers into the protective sleeve. Ian looks at the ground, ignoring the embarrassment he feels, as he opens his mouth to apologize- “I’m sorry about yesterday”. They both said it at the exact same time, and him and Mickey turn to each other in confusion.

“What are _you_ sorry for?” Mickey asks, looking at his best friend in disbelief. Ian grimaces, “You’ve told me more than once not to do that shit, but I keep trying to. I mean, it’s not surprising I pissed you off”. Mickey scratches the back of his head, “Well… you had a point last night Ian. I say that shit but then I cross those lines too, but I got rid of that picture okay? I shouldn’t have been using that”. He laughs awkwardly, clearing embarrassed.

Ian’s eyes widen and he says without thinking, “What? No Mick I _wanted you_ to-“ 

He suddenly reddens as Mickey turns to him with his dark eyebrow raised, “You wanted me to wank, to pictures of you?”

They stare at each other rather seriously for a moment, and then they both break into peals of laughter. This whole thing is just ridiculous. “Well, I’m just gonna have to send you a new picture then” Ian teases, checking to see what the dark-haired boy’s reaction will be to his prodding.

His lips twitch, and his eyes flicker with an interest that he can’t hide, if he was even trying to. “Of course, I would need one in return…” Ian drawls, and Mickey jabs him in the chest with his finger playfully, before suddenly stopping on the sidewalk, “Well, have a good day. Not allowed on school grounds, so”.

He looks like he wants to say more but doesn’t, and Ian looks behind himself at the highschool, he hadn’t even realized that they were here already.

He continues to think about the look that had been on Mickey’s face before he left, like there was something just on the tip of his tongue that he couldn’t share, and it drives him nuts while Mrs. Lowry lectures the class about watersheds. His phone vibrates in his pocket while he’s in class, but she’s looking over at him too often and he can’t check it until after.

It’s from Mickey, and his eyes widen as he reads it, and then two more times, wanting to make sure he’s getting every word right. It’s probably the longest text he’s ever gotten from him.

“ **You were right about the rest of it too. I do wanna spend all my time with you, and I want all that other shit too. And I already fucking reprinted that picture of you, needed it haha** ”

Ian feels a flush of pleasure rush over himself as he tries to think of how to answer, torn between trying to get Mickey to elaborate on wanting all that other shit, and addressing ‘using’ the picture. But he’s a teenage guy, and he goes for the second one, the easier one to deal with for the time being. “ **I’d like a pic of you, Mick. Something for me to look at tonight** ”.

He sees the typing bubble appear and disappear a few times and he knows he’s gonna be late for his next class but he doesn’t give a shit, he’s almost holding his breath. “ **I’ll do it** ” appears on his screen, and then, “ **Like the chest one you have on your Facebook. But just for you** ”.

Ian doesn’t even care that it’s not going to be a full nude, the _just for you_ part makes him hard within seconds, and he quickly types back, “ **Don’t know if I can wait til tonight** ”.

Mickey texts back, “ **Nice try Gallagher, not sending that shit while you’re at school** ”.

  _Fuck._

Ian tries to think of cats and old people and boobs and whatever else he can before he heads back into class, forcing his raging boner to take a chill pill.

He practically runs home after school, and heads right upstairs to the bathroom, breathlessly yelling hi back to Fiona as he breezes past her confused expression. He locks the door and pulls out his phone.

“ **I’m home** ” he sends Mickey.

“ **Ok** ”

A picture pops up on his screen a moment later and Ian frowns at it… it’s some wooden box or something…? “ **Think you sent the wrong pic?** ” he texts Mickey. He gets back, “ **No, that’s my chest lol** ”.

Ian rolls his eyes but laughs, as he hammers his thumbs into his phone, “ **Fuck off Mick I’m practically standing here with my dick in my hand don’t do this to me** ”. Another picture loads onto his screen and Ian scrambles to pull his jeans down with one hand as he grips his phone in the other. He doesn’t peel his eyes from the picture of Mick’s bare chest as he starts to stroke his cock, impatiently squeezing some lotion onto it from one of the bottle lying on the counter.

He ignores the text that pops up on his screen, “ **Is that one okay?** ”

He groans at the sensation as he begins to stroke himself with a tighter grasp, taking in every single detail of Mickey’s body like it’s a piece of precious fucking art.

Mickey’s flexing his biceps slightly in the picture, each muscle curving smoothly against his white skin. He has a stocky build, and his shoulders are broad and strong, perfect to hold onto when you’re fucking him, Ian thinks. One of his thick arms is covering his stomach partially, but not entirely, and Ian is again reminded of his strong urge to cover that fucking stomach in kisses, right down to his treasure trail and _then some_. But it’s his face, his _fucking face,_ that does Ian in.

Those piercing blue eyes that could reduce someone to nothing with one glare, that _mouth_ that could tear someone to shreds without Mickey even lifting a finger. Mickey.

“ _Uhh, Jesus”_ Ian gasps, as he shoots his load out messily onto the bathroom sink.

He’s fucking spent.

He wipes his sweaty forehead off with the back of one of his arms, and panting, turns on the sink faucet. He tries to swirl his cum down the drain with the rest of the running water, as he cleans up his mess. He finally wipes down the sink with a dry towel, and then finishes drying his hands.

“ **Ian?** ” His phone is lit up with another text.

Ian picks up his phone and texts back, “ **Fuck Mick, I don’t even know what to say** ”.

He has no way of knowing, but he’d be willing to bet any amount of money, that Mickey was sitting in his bedroom when he got that text back, and that after reading it he was blushing, with the biggest fucking grin on his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't really think I'd let Ian fuck someone else did you? ;) Okay, I originally wrote it that way and it pissed me off too much, so I rewrote it XD
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. I Can't Stay Away From You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Mickey away on a drug run with his dad, Ian realizes he can't get him out of his mind. Upon his return, Ian makes him admit to his feelings for him.

Ian gets a text from Mickey the next morning, letting him know that he has to spend the rest of his suspension on a road trip with his dad and brothers to pick up an ‘order’ and redistribute it in Wisconsin.

Ian was less disappointed than he was worried, about what Terry might be having Mickey do for him. He didn’t trust that asshole, and he couldn’t even check in, because he knew it wasn’t safe to text Mickey when his dad was sitting right beside him in the car. Any text could be taken the wrong way, and he never wanted to be responsible for Mickey receiving another strike like he did that day in the Milkovich kitchen.

He _was_ worried, and maybe it was selfish, but not even being able to text Mickey makes him feel lonelier than ever. After the first day or two he beings to wonder how he ever got _through_ the empty days before Mickey was really in his life. Sure, he’d had acquaintances at school, and his older brother Lip to hang out with sometimes. He had his other siblings, and there was always something to help out with at home. He even had Kash, and the other occasional hookup to fill his needs.

But those days seem blurry now, as he tries to remember them, and what they were like. Like washed out watercolors, they were forgettable. He’d wake up those mornings and go through his routines, do whatever the fuck he felt like throughout the day, without giving it much thought. Without much meaning. But Mickey had changed all that, had changed him.

His days ever since that trip at Oak Forest Campgrounds were fucking brilliant, and bold, bursting with color and life. Mickey was now the centerpiece in all of his thoughts, his actions, without ever asking to be. He just belonged there, from the moment they sat beside each other on the bus that day.

They might be fucking confusing together, even abstract sometimes, but Ian didn’t ever want to look back.

He’s reminded of this during the following long days that are just plain grey without Mickey’s presence. Empty, pointless, dull.

Until he steps out onto the porch one morning to head to school, and sees Mickey there, having his morning cigarette while he waits for Ian, kicking at some of the fall leaves on the ground. He didn’t know that he’d be here today.

All of the greys suddenly bloom back into color, “Mickey?”

Mickey smiles at him, turning at the sound of his name, “Hey”. Ian steps towards him as Mickey stands up, and he touches his arm gently, “You didn’t tell me you were home yet”.

Mickey grins, “Wanted to surprise you”.

Ian takes his hand away and shakes his head, “I’m… I am surprised. I _missed you_ ”. The words come out so easily, as heavy as they feel, and he sees a strange flicker in Mickey’s blue eyes when he says them.

_Happiness?_

“I missed y-“ The front door opens and Lip steps out onto the porch with them, unknowingly interrupting their important moment. “Hey Mickey, suspension over?”

Mickey pulls his eyes away from Ian and his unfinished sentiment, “Yeah”.

Lip nods, and glances at the pack of Marlboro’s in Mickey’s hand, “Cool. Hey, can I bum a cigarette? I’m out”. Mickey nods and hands Lip a smoke while the three of them pile out onto the sidewalk to walk to school.

Ian can’t talk to Mickey about what he really wants to talk with him about, so he instead asks him about the road trip with his dad and brothers, and the ‘deliveries’ he made. But Mickey clearly doesn’t want to talk about that either though. He gives vague answers to anything Ian asks, and glances meaningfully at Lip every so often as he does. Ian finally drops it as they arrive at the school, and they split ways to go to their separate homerooms. 

As much as Ian fucking wants to talk to Mickey about their _ground-breaking_ text conversation last week, that ended in a suggestive picture, after an admission that _yes_ , Mickey _did want_ those things too, the kissing, the holding, _all that shit,_ he has to make do with just sitting beside him in second period again. Until lunch rolls around, and he can finally leave the third period class he doesn’t have with Mickey.

He practically runs to the practice field, and leans agilely around the metal bars to get underneath the bleachers as quickly as possible without stopping. Mickey of course, is already there. He watches Ian approach him through blue eyes filled with interest, and maybe some nerves.

“Okay so,” Ian drops his backpack to the ground, “We need to talk”. Mickey chuckles lightly, tapping ash from his cigarette into the dirt. “Yeah, guess we probably should” he answers, his breath visible in the cold November air. Ian stares at him for a moment with expectation and Mickey laughs uncomfortably, “What?”

He answers impatiently, “Well you tell me, you’re fucking hot and cold Mick”. Mickey raises one of his dark eyebrows teasingly, “You think I’m hot?” Ian groans, “Can you fucking be serious for once please?”

Mickey flips him off in response, and Ian purses his lips, but then laughs before more seriously saying, “You, you said that I was, _you know_ , right about everything”. He waves his hands slightly as he speaks, trying to get his point across. He can see that Mickey’s nervous about spilling his feelings out, but he isn’t as sympathetic as he maybe could be, after waiting so long for this.

“Yeah, alright”, Mickey pauses for a second, but he looks so thoughtful that Ian doesn’t interrupt, even as he bites his lip impatiently.

Mickey starts again, “There’s so much I could fucking tell you, but here’s the thing I guess, things have been different, I’ve been different, since that fucking day at Oak Forest. Since that night with you”.

Ian hangs onto every word coming out of Mickey’s mouth, his mind buzzing slightly as Mickey finally opens up to him, telling him the words he’s wanted to hear for weeks on end now.

“What do you mean, you’ve been different?” he presses, seeing Mickey start to hesitate again. Mickey frowns at him in annoyance for just a moment before taking a deep breath, and continuing, “I’ve, never felt this fucking way before. Never wanted more than just banging from someone. I don’t know what it is about you, or us, but you’re under my skin man. I thought I could just move on from that night, just be your friend. But…”

He looks up at Ian, his blue eyes now solemn, “I can’t stay away from you. And I don’t just want to be your friend anymore. I want you to kiss me, and I don’t want to force myself to pull away”. He tenses his fist as he speaks, nervously, the dark tattoos especially prominent on his skin that is now slightly pink from the cold.

Ian barely breathes, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest as he stares at Mickey. “You… want me to kiss you?”

Mickey stands up, tipping his head slightly. “Or I could kiss you. Would you like that Ian? Would you like it if I fucking kissed you?” There’s a raw and deep sexuality in his tone, and Ian stares into those electric blue eyes that pull him right in, every single fucking time as he warns him, “If you kiss me right now, I’m not gonna be able to stop”.

The sounds of other highschool students nearby still reach them underneath the bleachers, bringing them back to their senses, and Mickey nods in agreement. Clearly feeling the same way as he considers the possibility of someone walking in on them.  

Ian searches his brain rapidly for a solution, and then it hits him. “After school. Rogers Street, where I told you I’d be your friend” he says firmly, as Mickey raises one of his eyebrows at him in question. Ian continues, knowing Mickey will be there,

“That’s where you’re gonna tell me that you’ll be more”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I fucking love these two


	8. Tell Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finishes his admission, but their moment is interrupted by Ian having to run to work at the Kash & Grab. Mickey shows up at the store to get his fill of Ian during his break.

As Ian runs towards Rogers Street after school, leaving without Mickey for one of the very first times since they became close, and climbs over the small piles of rubble in the abandoned mess of construction as he approaches the spray-painted building, his heart is pumping a million fucking miles a minute.

He trips more than once, and picks himself right back up, ignoring how one of his knees throbs slightly from the repeated contact with the ground.

Mickey’s name and the _fucking_ thought of him floods through all of his veins and thoughts in tandem, seizing every movement he makes and propelling him forwards to where he knows Mickey will be waiting for him. He practically slides into the concrete building with _fuck_ spray-painted over it when he finally gets there.

He sees Mickey inside from where he stands in the doorway, standing and leaning against the cracked back wall, a cigarette pressed to his perfect lips. He doesn’t look nervous anymore. Ian stops and pauses there, his chest still heaving from his rush to get there, as he stares at the dark-haired boy.

He watches as Mickey immediately throws his half finished cigarette to the damp ground and strides towards him, “Tell me Mickey, _tell me you-“_ Mickey grabs his face and pulls him in, cutting him off, and their lips come crashing together after so many weeks of one them or the other fucking fighting it.

Ian’s brain instantly sparks at the contact, every nerve in his body humming with appreciative electricity as _Mickey Milkovich_ holds him in his strong arms like he never wants to let him go, and kisses him like he can’t breathe without Ian as his air. But it’s not enough, “Tell me” he gasps.

“I’ll be more, Ian” Mickey finally murmurs into his lips, breaking the kiss, “I’ll be whatever you fucking want me to be”. Ian runs his hand around behind Mickey’s strong neck, anchoring himself in, as he presses his lips against Mickey’s neck, comforted by the promise. “I want you to be you”.

Mickey laughs softly and pulls himself away just slightly from the embrace to look into Ian’s heavy green eyes, “I can do that. I don’t know why you fucking want that, but I can do it”. He looks so doubtful in himself, and it makes Ian’s chest hurt.

He licks his lips slightly, “You have no fucking idea, do you Mick? What you are”. He shakes his head in disbelief, “You really don’t”. Before Mickey can even try to respond to that, Ian’s phone starts to ring, and he looks down towards the sound of the harsh tone, yanked out of his reverie.

His screen is lit up impatiently, flashing repeatedly with, **_Kash & Grab- Calling_**

 _“Fuck”_ Ian curses, jamming his phone in his pocket, “I totally fucking forgot, I’m late for my shift!”  Mickey’s eyes widen in disappointment at this news, “You’re fucking leaving?”

Ian looks at him, painfully telling him, “I _have to_ Mick. I can’t lose this job, I’m already on thin ice with my boss. I’ll text you on my break”. He leans in to kiss Mickey goodbye but Mickey prevents him from leaving after just a quick peck, and deepens the kiss.

He looks down at Ian’s belt, _“_ I _want_ you, so fuckin bad _”._ He grinds slightly against Ian’s leg, and Ian feels Mickey’s erection pressing into him urgently, as he looks back up towards him, his eyes filled with need.

“ _Fuck…_ Mick. Don’t make this harder for me", Ian forces his eyes away from Mickey’s blue ones. His own head is swimming with arousal, but he forcibly jams his thoughts of responsibility over it.

He gives Mickey another quick kiss and then tears out of the collapsing concrete building, yelling behind himself, “I’ll text you!”, as he makes a mad break for his part time job.

He arrives, sweaty and panting, almost half an hour late for his shift, his cheeks flushed from the cold fall air. Kash glares at him as he comes charging inside, “Ian, I was supposed to take the boys to their soccer game! Now Linda is giving me massive amounts of shit. Do you not care about this job?”

He doesn’t add, _do you not care about me?_

Ian bites his tongue, knowing damn well that if he was still fucking Kash he wouldn’t be making half as big a deal out of this. He’d been late before. He’d _quit_ right fucking now if he didn’t NEED to help Fiona keep their fucking electricity going, and his responsibility to his family keeps his mouth shut.

He ignores Kash bitterly throughout his shift, thinking of how he had to leave Mickey standing there like an idiot after he made him confess his fucking feelings to him. He pinches the bridge of his nose in agitation just picturing it. He fucking hopes Mickey understands, and isn’t too pissed off at him. He takes his break as soon as he is allowed, at seven thirty, and immediately checks his phone, seeing that he has one message from Mickey.

A picture message.

Ian feels a hot flush rise over himself, knowing what it probably contains. He quickly goes into the stock room after locking the front door, Kash now having had retreated to his home above the shop, means he has complete privacy. He closes his eyes tightly, and says a quick and frantic prayer to God, asking for it to please be a nude.

He hesitates for a moment. _Is that sacrilegious?_

But then he shakes his head vehemently, _who the fuck_ cares? He was never fucking religious anyways.

The picture loads.

 _Fuck._ Maybe he’s religious now.

Mickey’s face isn’t in the picture, which Ian would have liked, but it’s still amazing. It’s a shot from below, his thick cock is in the forefront with his hand wrapped tightly around it, filling most of the camera’s view with FUCK spelled out over his fingers.

Ian can still see Mickey’s perfect chest and stomach behind it all though, and he isn’t sure where to look first, his eyes darting around the entire picture, taking it in greedily. His own dick is now straining against his jeans.

He texts Mickey, “ **Dick move, sending me that at work. What am I supposed to do now?** ”

Mickey texts back, “ **You left me standing there like a dick with a throbbing hard on, just thought I’d show you** ”.

Ian bites his lip, wondering how far he should take this while he’s here at work, “ **Yeah? Did you take care of yourself?** ”

“ **Am right now, why don’t you send me something to work from** ”. Ian hastily undoes his boxers, he’s already rock hard from the pic Mickey had sent him, and now from the thought of him stroking himself as they speak. He takes a picture of his cock and sends it to Mickey.

The responding text is appreciative, “ **Fuck! didn't think you actually would.**   **Aren’t you at work?** ”

“ **I’ve got twenty minutes left of break** ” Ian quickly texts back.

“ **Jesus Gallagher. I’ll be there in five** ”.

Ian quickly yanks his pants up and hurries to the front of the store, peeking out from behind the partially covered windows for a sign of the dark-haired boy, but then he gets another text a few minutes later, “ **Back entrance! Open the fucking door!!** ”

Ian runs back into the stock room to hear someone hammering on the delivery door and he yanks it open, Mickey practically falling into him from behind it as he does.

Ian catches him and steadies him, and Mickey immediately turns to slide the door shut behind himself roughly. He pants as he turns back around and looks at Ian, his blue eyes lit with an unspeakable fire that gives Ian a delicious chill. He points down at himself, “Left me there, left me hard”.

Ian lifts an eyebrow, enjoying this, “I did, didn’t I? Guess I have to fix that”. He grabs the front of Mickey’s jeans and yanks him forward roughly, the other boy doing nothing to stop him. “S’only fair” Mickey smirks.

Ian stoops to his knees, and Mickey reaches down and plays with his red hair affectionately while Ian undoes his jeans and slides them down, Mickey’s boner still pitching a tent in his boxers. “You’re amazing”, Mickey says lazily, still running his fingers through Ian’s red hair. Ian kisses his dick through the fabric of his boxers and Mickey shifts in agitation from the initial contact, “ _Fuck Ian”_.

Ian looks up, smiling, and continues to gently kiss his dick through his boxers, as Mickey looks down at him through heavy eyes. Ian reaches both hands up and slowly pulls the boxers down, letting Mickey’s exposed dick hit his lips as it bounces back upwards insistently. “I could kiss you forever” he murmurs, but instead, he opens his mouth and runs his tongue along the length of Mickey’s shaft without warning as Mickey answers with, “I’d fucking like that”.

He presses his lips back to the tip of Mickey’s dick in a kiss, but then opens his mouth to let Mickey’s dick slide in over his tongue. _“God”_ Mickey chokes, as the foreplay quickly spins into oral, gripping into Ian’s now tousled hair more tightly. Ian gags slightly from the fullness as he takes Mickey too quickly at first, being somewhat out of practice after the several weeks of abstinence. He shivers at the feeling of Mickey’s hands pulling in his hair, a strangely pleasurable sensation.

He pulls back a bit, and finds a more comfortable depth to build a rhythm to, Mickey cursing under his breath the entire time in ecstasy. The sound fills Ian’s ears like music, spurring him on.

Ian slides his fingers over Mickey’s thick thighs to hold onto him better, and flattens his tongue against the slit of Mickey’s cock, already tasting a thick dribble of precum.

It’s been _too long_ , _too fucking long._

He feels Mickey’s thighs begin to tense underneath his fingertips after a few minutes, and Mickey’s rushed warning doesn’t come as a surprise, “ _I’m gonna-“_ Ian grips into his thighs harder in response and doubles his speed, causing Mickey to lose his balance and fall back against the wall, loudly knocking over a stack of recycling as he spurts his release into Ian’s mouth.

Ian swallows it all, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand in victory, as he looks up at Mickey, who’s now leaning against the wall for support, his legs shaking slightly. He looks absolutely wrecked, a sight that brings Ian as much erotic pleasure as his own orgasms do. His own cock is straining against his pants, but as he quickly remembers where he is and checks his phone, he realizes he’s already well past his break, and probably pushing it.  

He stands up and kisses Mickey’s lips, squeezing his strong arms as he does. Mickey presses his sweaty forehead against Ian’s weakly, a silent thank you. “I have to get back to work” Ian says gently.

Mickey looks at him apologetically, “But you didn’t get to-“ Ian cuts him off, “I can wait. I don’t want to rush it, I wanna enjoy _every_ fucking minute when I finally get to fuck you again”. Mickey nods wordlessly, although he already looks like he’d rather _not_ wait. “Text me when you’re done work” he says anyways, opening the back door again to leave. Ian smiles, “Course”.

Ian practically floats through the rest of his shift on cloud nine, hardly able to believe the way things can change in a matter of days.

 _Mickey_ … Mickey is his now.

Mickey Milkovich. The boy who could rule the South Side with an iron fist when he wanted to, who would never fucking back down from a fight, or back down from a challenge. The boy who seemed like he wasn’t fucking scared of anything, who seemed like he didn’t care about anything, until he met Ian.

The boy who was now his best friend, his lover, and… the boy he thought he might be falling for.


	9. It's Mickey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey finally have the opportunity to have sex again for the first time in months since their class trip, and after the way his feelings have grown since then, Ian worries he won't be able to make it as good as before.

Now, Ian did say he could wait, and it’s not like Mickey was holding out on him, but circumstances had prevented them from having privacy for long enough to get anything in but a sneaky kiss here and there for the past several days, and it was starting to drive him a little crazy.

Before they were together, they still spent a ton of time hanging out with each other, but as friends you don’t consider these things as much. How many minutes it might take you to finish, what the chances are of someone walking in on you are, how dangerous it could be if they did. Privacy in the Gallagher house is just hard to find, with at least one of your five siblings constantly bursting into your room.

Both Ian and Mickey are more than aware of this though, so they try to keep things somewhat similar to how they were before, to avoid tempting each other too much to make a stupid decision. A decision that might end up in a younger Gallagher walking in on them. They continue to act like they are just friends still, but both of them also carry the knowledge that they are more now, and are just waiting for the right opportunity to act on it.

And to be honest, as much as Ian did want to have sex with Mickey again, it had been a couple months since their first time together at Oak Forest Campgrounds, and that had also been unplanned, spontaneous. Away from home, it was easier out there.

The fact that they’d grown so close since then was also putting a certain sort of pressure on Ian’s shoulders, that he wasn’t sure Mickey was aware of.

 _What if he couldn’t make him feel as good as he did the last time?_ What if it was awkward this time, or he did something wrong?

There would be two months of buildup before this time, and last time there was just a day. As much as Ian wants to have sex… fuck, just being around Mickey is enough to get him going sometimes, he’s actually almost glad for the initial lack of opportunities, because it gives him some time to get over his mounting nerves.

Mickey is a fucking force of nature sometimes, everything about him is raw, and Ian can’t think of anything worse than fucking things up, after their first time was so perfect.

Especially now that they’re actually together.

 

Mickey and him walk home together after school as per usual the following Wednesday, with the exception of Lip not being there with them like he usually is. The three of them had been standing outside of the school, having a smoke before they headed home, when one of Lip’s classmates had approached them.

Jenna Briggs. Typical pink loving blonde girly girl, but hey, Lip’s not picky.

Maybe she’s a real catch and Ian just can’t tell because he’s gay. Who fucking knows. But this girl approaches Lip in front of his _brother_ and another fucking guy and flat out says, “I got a new mattress, want to help me test it out?”

“Really?” Lip had turned to his brother and Mickey to see if they were actually fucking hearing this, and of course they were, so Lip just shrugged, a big grin on his face, “Sure”. As soon as they were gone, Mickey and Ian had just laughed at the exchange, and continued on home by themselves.

When they get to the Gallagher front porch (Mickey prefers to drop Ian off first before heading home), they both stop, and stand there slightly awkwardly for a moment. It’s hard saying goodbye when you can’t openly actually hug or kiss the other person, and they haven’t quite figured out their routine yet.

“Well… I better head home” Mickey finally says, extending his slightly dirty fingers out to brush against Ian’s as he does. Ian smiles, fucking wishing he could kiss the boy in front of him, “See you”.

He heads inside, and joins Fiona at the table, where she is counting out some bills and loose change. She immediately looks up at him in concern, “Hey Ian, did you get your paycheck yet this week? I’m short for hydro again, something’s not adding up”.

Ian shakes his head, grabbing an apple from the bowlful resting on the kitchen table, “I didn’t put my share in yet. Kash docked me for being late last week, I’ll have the rest soon”.

Fiona raises her eyebrow at him, “Why were you late?”

Ian thinks for a moment, what the fuck would Fiona even say if he just flat out told her _, “Yeah I was late because I was kissing fucking Mickey Milkovich in an abandoned building, as he admitted that he has feelings for me and wants to be with me.”_

Fiona pushes him in his silence, “Were you off with some girl? Jesus, don’t be like Lip, Ian. He’s gonna fuck himself over if he keeps thinking with his second head and not the one on his shoulders, and you will too”. Ian shrugs without answering her actual statement and just says, “I’ll have it. Don’t worry”.

Lip comes into the house just then, momentarily distracting Ian at least, because he’s _actually_ supposed to be at _some girl’s_ house, but he just mouths as he passes by, ‘ _Her mom was home’._ He heads upstairs, and Ian turns his attention back towards his older sister.

Fiona nods at him, trusting him to pull through like he usually does, and turns her head to holler throughout the house, “Dinner’s early tonight kids! I’m doing tables at 5!”

“What’s for dinner?” Ian asks, as Fiona starts rummaging through the cupboards. “Ramen” she answers, slapping several packages of it onto the counter. “Oh, healthy”, Ian teases. She hits the kettle, “I’ll put frozen peas in it. There’s your fuckin healthy”.

Ian laughs and feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulls it out to read the text from Mickey on the screen, “ **Hey, dad’s going out tn. Got the place to myself :) Come over?** ”

His gut tenses slightly, and he types back after a moment, “ **Yeah… just gonna eat dinner. Be there in an hour** ”. Then as an afterthought he adds, “ **:)** ”

 _Woah_ , okay.

This is happening. This is happening _soon._ “I’m gonna go have a shower” he mutters to Fiona, who, without looking up, answers with, “Alright, yours will be in the microwave”. He passes Lip on the stairs as he is coming back down and grabs his shoulder to get his attention, “You’re watching the kids while Fiona’s at work”. Lip raises his eyebrow, “You goin to see a girl?” Ian rolls his eyes, “Just fucking do it”. Lip winks at him knowingly and they both continue going in opposite directions on the stairs.

Ian closes the bathroom door behind himself and quickly strips his clothes off, cranking the shower dial on, he waits for about a minute for the water to warm up, before stepping into the stream.

The water rains down soothingly on his skin, as he scrubs himself clean. He stands in there a little longer than is necessary, once the soap is rinsed off.

 _You’re fine,_ he tells himself, _don’t be nervous._

It’s _Mickey._

Beyond that, he tries ignore any other invading thoughts in his mind.

He gets out of the shower, and wraps a towel around himself as he goes to stand in front of the sink. He leans against it, looking at his reflection in the mirror uncertainly. He grabs a comb that’s resting on the ledge and runs it through his red hair, trying to get it to lie in a more attractive way. _Okay, that’s good enough,_ he hopes. He finishes drying himself off, and rolls on some deodorant before getting dressed again.

He runs downstairs to eat quickly so he’ll be there on time. He’s glad now that dinner is light, he thinks, as he slurps up the ramen, sitting beside Carl who is doing the same. His nervous stomach doesn’t want anything more than that right now. He carries his empty bowl over to the sink and leaves it there.

“Alright, I’m heading out” he tells Lip, who’s hovering over Liam while he eats.

“Alright, good luck. See ya later” Lip says, without taking his eyes off his little brother. Ian nods anyways, and grabs his coat and gloves before heading outside.


	10. Guess We're Fucking Cuddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian have an amazing physical reunion, that leaves them lingering in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Explicit and Super-Fucking Cute

Ian walks down the sidewalk quickly, checking his phone multiple times as he does. He’s huffing slightly as he hurries along, thinking he probably shouldn’t have spent so much time dicking around in the shower. He arrives a little late at the Milkovich house, hoping that Mickey isn’t annoyed. He knocks on the door a few times before Mickey answers.

He grins at Ian, clearly not noticing the minutes that he’s late, and Ian can tell he’s admiring him as he steps inside the house.

“You look good” Mickey says appreciatively, and then seems thoughtful as he looks down at himself in slight annoyance a moment later. “You look good too” Ian reassures him.

Mickey hadn’t changed or cleaned up since he’d last seen him, and was now obviously somewhat self conscious about it after seeing that Ian had, as much as he might seem like he didn’t give a shit about stuff like that. Quite frankly, _Ian_ doesn’t give a shit about that stuff himself. He likes Mickey just the way he is.

Mickey’s grin returns at his compliment, as Ian shifts out of his heavy coat and drops it onto the floor beside his boots. The Milkovich house is cold, but warmer than it is outside, as winter rapidly approaches Chicago, and Ian’s pale skin pricks slightly from the temperature change.

“Soo…. My room?” Mickey finally asks, and Ian nods, swallowing hard as he follows Mickey towards the back room. He pushes past the “ ** _STAY THE FUCK OUT”_** sign and steps inside Mickey’s bedroom. He notices that Mickey had obviously cleaned up his room a bit, and his bed is made, the familiar red blanket spread out over it.

“I didn’t get any fucking candles going or any of that other shit, but ya know, hope that’s okay” Mickey laughs lightly, as Ian glances around his room. He sits down on the bed and Mickey’s expression changes as he takes in Ian’s presence on his bed, no longer shaking away the image forming in his head, as he had forced himself to do a couple of months ago. When he had thought that he couldn’t possibly have this.

Mickey crosses the room towards him, and leans across the bed, pressing his hands into the mattress as he kisses him, who opens his mouth to accept the kiss. He’s hanging back a little bit though, and after a moment or two Mickey realizes that.

He pulls back, his blue eyes searching Ian’s green ones, that try to avoid looking back at him. “Ian… do you not want to fuck? We don’t have to” Mickey says softly, mistaking Ian’s hesitation for disinterest.

Ian quickly shakes his head, “No, it’s not that at all. I just… feel, I don’t know, nervous I guess” he says finally, still not looking up at Mickey. To be honest, he’s actually fucking embarrassed now.

He feels Mickey’s hand under his chin, who tips his face upwards gently, “Nervous to be with me? We’ve done this before”.

“Yeah once” Ian says, biting his lip slightly, “And it was fucking amazing. What if I can’t turn you out like that again? You gonna want to keep seeing me?”

Mickey’s face curves into a grin, “Ian, I seriously doubt that will be a fucking problem. And even if it was, yeah, I’d still want to keep ‘seeing’ your ginger ass”. Mickey starts to laugh, but seeing Ian’s still uncertain expression adds more seriously, “But I don’t want you to be nervous either, what would make you more comfortable?”

Ian thinks for a second, grateful Mickey is so understanding. It’s already making some of his nerves disappear. It’s not like he’s a virgin or anything, far from it, but he’s never actually _cared_ like this before, and it’s clearly fucking with his head.

“Maybe I can just start out going down on you and then when I get more comfortable we can go from there” he offers. Mickey kisses the top of his head, “I’m not gonna fucking argue with that, but you don’t _have_ to do anything. Don’t fucking feel like I expect shit from you Ian. If you want we can just go play video games”.

Ian finally laughs warmly, shaking his head, and then he directs his gaze back into Mickey’s eyes, reminded of his deep affection for him, “Fuck _that,_ c’mere”. He pulls Mickey over him onto the bed, laying on his back as he does, and he kisses the other boy heatedly. Mickey’s weight feels perfect over his body, like a comforting blanket, dissolving all of his nerves.

They kiss like that for a few moments and Ian feels both of them getting hard quickly, their crotches resting against each other as Mickey lays on top of him. He shifts slightly, “Pull down your pants” he tells Mickey, who immediately moves upwards and starts to unbutton his jeans.

He climbs off of Ian to shimmy out of them, and then sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Ian gets off and leans down in front of him.

“Wanna take off your shirt?” he asks, eyeing Ian hopefully. Ian grins, “Only if you do”. They both yank off their shirts, and Ian feels a hot fire rise in his chest, any fears of awkwardness now long forgotten as he lowers his mouth down over Mickey’s cock, drawing an appreciative hiss from the other boy.

Mickey lowers a hand to the back of Ian’s head as he slides up and down on his cock, but he doesn’t push him downwards, just lets his hand rise and fall with each of Ian’s gentle movements, his hand a pleasant weight on the back of his head.

Ian wants to pleasure Mickey for as long as possible, as each swipe of his tongue and suction of his mouth pulls another groan from the other boy, but he can’t hold out any longer, and he removes his mouth with a pop as he stands to finish undressing.

Mickey, already naked, watches as Ian tears off his jeans and grabs a condom and a packet of lube from his wallet, “You comfortable now?” he asks, trying to be sincere, even as he strokes his cock to give himself some relief.

But Ian feels an animal-like need inside of himself now, and all he wants to do is fuck the other boy, niceties aside, “Fuck off”.

Mickey laughs, and lays on his bed on his back, resting his head on his pillows. Ian crawls back onto the bed a moment later and hovers over him, “This how you wanna do it?” Mickey’s eyes glance down to Ian’s erection and then back up again to his waiting face, “Fuck yeah, wanna look you in the face this time”. He bites his lip as he looks back up at Ian.

Ian nods, and starts to spread lube over his fingers, but Mickey shakes his head, grabbing his hand to stop him. “I’m already ready”.

Ian frowns at him in confusion, “Huh?” Mickey blushes, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he explains, “I already used my fingers to get ready before you got here. I’m fuckin good to go”.

 _Jesus Christ._ Ian closes his eyes for a second to imagine it, “Fuck that’s hot”.

He opens them again to look down at Mickey, his eyes now hooded with want as he lines himself up against Mickey’s still tight hole. He watches every movement on Mickey’s face closely as he slowly pushes inside of him. How his eyes flutter, how his lips twitch, listening intently as the other boy lets out a low groan, before forcing his eyes back onto Ian’s.

Something in that look, and the _sounds_ Mickey is making, just fucking sets him off, and the pent up sexual frustration inside of him is suddenly unleashed from behind it’s floodgates.

He can barely control himself as he is consumed with it, and he immediately snaps his hips back and then thrusts forward harder, lowering himself to Mickey’s chest so they can make out while he fucks him hard, missionary style.

Mickey doesn’t complain, his own cock is getting plenty of attention from the friction between their stomachs, and he moans quietly into Ian’s lips after a couple of minutes. In response, Ian feels a warning tension in his stomach and his balls.

He pants back against Mickey’s lips, feeling sweat start to bead on his forehead. “I have to slow down, or I’m gonna cum” he apologizes, immediately slowing his pace significantly. Mickey shakes his head, indicating the apology isn’t necessary as he continues to wordlessly enjoy every stroke Ian delivers, too deep in the sensation to speak.

Ian lifts his body slightly and his eyes flicker downwards towards Mickey’s stomach, that perfect fucking belly that he loves looking at so much. There’s just something about it, it’s softness, the hint of abs just underneath it, the pale white skin.  

He rises off of Mickey’s chest and, continuing to fuck him slowly, bends downwards to finally fulfill his fantasy of covering Mickey’s stomach in kisses, as he presses his hands on the other boys thighs. It’s an intimacy he is comfortable with expressing, now that they are together.

Mickey groans slightly as Ian begins to pepper his sensitive stomach with soft kisses, and he reaches a hand down to stroke Ian’s red hair in return, his very own apparent kink. Ian continues like this for a while, until the combined sensation of slowly fucking Mickey, and the pleasurable feeling of having his strong fingers running through his red hair begins to feed the fire in his stomach once again.

“Gonna fuck you hard again”, he grunts. Feeling himself slowly approaching his now unavoidable peak, he moves his mouth away from Mickey’s stomach and back towards his lips, shifting inside of him slightly as he does.

Mickey gasps at the movement, “ _Fuck man,_ you’re hitting my spot” and then he groans, his voice much lower, “ _Ian_...”

Ian’s ears buzz in response, the sound of Mickey’s overwhelming pleasure driving him wild.

He immediately pulls back, and then slams into Mickey repeatedly with a strengthened conviction, each thrust bringing a wave of building pleasure over him as he approaches his own orgasm and knows he is bringing Mickey closer to his.

He lowers himself back down against Mickey's chest, both of them gripping onto each other’s shoulders for support as they move faster in unison, and both of them grunting from the effort.

Ian brings his mouth back to Mickey’s, but their making out is erratic now, teeth sometimes scraping, their lips ending up on chins and cheeks just as often as the other boy’s mouth. He feels sweat start to roll from his stomach down to Mickey’s cock, which is pressed between their two stomachs again, the shifting movements serving to jerk him off.

It was only a matter of time now, and Ian hears a familiar groan building in Mickey’s throat, a low rumble, before he suddenly cries out, cursing, and Ian feels a thick wetness spread between their stomachs, making them slippery.

The warm wet heat of Mickey’s cum against his stomach triggers his own orgasm, and he comes himself in several short bursts, timing each one with another decisive thrust into the other boy, until he is finished.

As he draws back a little bit, slowly, to look at Mickey’s face as he pulls out, that really answers the question for him, he can’t help himself from asking it anyways, “How was that?”

He pants slightly, watching as Mickey raises a sweaty eyebrow at him in disbelief. “How was _that_? Are you fucking _kidding me,_ Gallagher? Get over here”. Mickey uses his strong arm muscles to pull Ian’s longer body up beside himself, pressing their sweaty foreheads together as they lay side by side. He kisses Ian’s lips, murmuring, “You fucking turn me out like nobody ever has before”. Ian feels himself grinning at the compliment, he can’t help it, and he feels a sense of pride.

He nuzzles his head into Mickey’s neck slightly, enjoying his comforting warmth and his familiar scent. They lay there quietly for a while until Mickey breaks the silence, “Hey, it’s snowing”. Ian pulls his head upwards to look out the window with him. Sure enough, the first snowfall is arriving in Chicago’s South Side, as small flakes drift lazily towards the ground outside.

Ian kisses Mickey’s collarbone, “That means hot chocolate, snowball fights, and cuddling”. Mickey raises his dark eyebrows, shifting his head slightly to look at him, “Cuddling? That’s fucking gay”.

Ian bursts out laughing, “I just _fucked you in the ass_!” Mickey erupts into his own laughter at the incredulous look on Ian's face, before finally managing to get out, “ _I know, I know_. Just fucking with you”.

Ian beams, “Was gonna say, what the fuck do you think we’re doing right now?”

Mickey grins back at him, “Guess we’re fucking cuddling”. “Fuck yeah we are”, Ian says, roping his arm around Mickey’s back.

“And you know what?” Mickey adds, looking at Ian with amusement in his blue eyes, “I fucking like it”.


	11. Bring It Gallagher!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian have a flirtatious snowball fight that leaves them warming up and drying off at the Gallagher house.

Ian glances over at Mickey as they walk home together after school, hanging on to every word he says. They’ve been together for a few weeks now, and are now settled into a more comfortable routine of spending time together as more than friends. Of course, to the outside world, that’s what they continue to appear as.

Just friends.

Mickey’s laughing now, his perfect teeth flashing, as he tells Ian about someone in class today asking if Florida was part of Canada or not. He’d apparently been kicked out of class for saying “ _No, dumbass, it’s a part of Mexico”._

Ian laughs and shoves him gently, “You’re an asshole”. “Oh yeah?” Mickey bends down, his ears tinged pink from the cold winter air.

Ian continues to walk ahead without noticing that Mickey had fully stopped a few feet back, until he feels a cold and wet _whap_ on his back. He whips around, his eyes flashing in a challenge as he sees Mickey already packing together another snowball.

“Ian, there’s something on your back” Mickey says, innocently. He tosses his next snowball upwards and then catches it in back in his hand, winking at Ian.

Ian quickly breaks into a run as Mickey aims and prepares to fire again, scraping up some snow by his feet on the go for return fire. He can hear Mickey chasing after him as his second snowball misses, and Ian turns while he knows he’s still out of ammo and aims his own, hitting the other boy in the arm, “Oh yeah, there something on my fuckin back Mick?”

Mickey laughs, and darts behind a car parked on the side of the road, for cover. Ian turns right around and jogs back towards him to hit him with another, faking a move and then diving behind the car to render Mickey’s cover useless. Mickey shakes his head like a dog as Ian’s snowball smashes into the back of it, but he’s still laughing, and runs up the sidewalk away from Ian, who’s already grabbing more snow.

The unfamiliar neighbors out on their on their driveways and yards watch them run past, laughing into the cold winter air like children as they chase each other. Adults are shoveling their driveways and the sidewalks, and kids are out dragging their sleds, making snow forts and snow families.

The boys’ cheeks are red, their exposed skin cold, but their hearts are warm as they play like nobody’s watching. It’s times like this Ian knows he has a best friend for life in Mickey, and its one of his favorite things about being with him.

To be honest, he’s mostly going easy on Mickey, aiming light snowballs in return at his back or his chest, until Mickey ups his game and fires three snowballs back in succession, the last one hitting him square in the face.

Ian sputters through the cold snow, and scrunches his face, “Oh, you’re going down, Milkovich”. Mickey is currently standing in front of a yard where most of the free snow has been taken up by the two kids building a snowman on it, and he’s totally vulnerable.

Ian grins as he rapidly gathers up a pile of snow into a massive snowball, pulling the snowball back to use his pitcher’s arm and aim as Mickey scrambles around uselessly looking for cover, yelling, “Bring it Gallagher!”, even as he does.

Ian fires, and the snowball shoots forward faster and harder than he had even expected it to, like a lethal weapon. He’s actually impressed by his own handiwork. It soars towards the other boy, pegging Mickey directly in the face, he stumbles and falls, the impact knocking him right off his feet.

Directly into the snowman the kids were making in their front yard.

Mickey falls through the fucking thing and blows it completely apart, snow spraying the two kids standing there in disbelief as Ian bursts out laughing. He jogs over, and sees Mickey laying there in the snow, his entire body shaking. The two kids are now looking down at him uncertainly.

He’s face down, and his back is covered in snow from the snowman casualty. Ian’s laugh falters slightly, “Mick?”

He leans down and brushes some snow off of Mickey’s back before grabbing him by the shoulder and turning him over. His face is red and wet, his eyes shut as he makes weird gasping noises. “Mick are you laughing or crying?” Ian demands, now worried and feeling guilty as fuck. The two kids take off running towards their front door and into their house, probably worried they’ll get in trouble for the dying teenager on their front lawn.

Mickey opens his blue eyes, and Ian sees they are filled with amusement, not pain. He’s laughing so fucking hard that he can’t even get a proper sounding laugh out, and his face is just wet from melted snow, _“Ian- fuck- I can’t-”._

Ian breathes a sigh of relief, kicking more snow at Mickey as he does, he’d almost given him a fucking heart attack, “You fucker, I-“

Mickey reaches up and grabs the edge of his coat, pulling him down towards the pile of snow with him. Ian flails but lands partially on Mickey, and partially on the snowman’s remains, swearing the entire time.

Mickey’s giggles finally settle into a level that he can speak through, “ _Me fucker?_ You fucker, you long legged ginger _b_ -“ Ian shoves snow into his mouth, cutting him off.

Mickey spits the snow out, rubbing more snow into Ian’s red hair in response.

They give up on using the snow as a weapon and instead wrestle each other in it for a few minutes, holding each other at arm’s length until Mickey finally manages to roll Ian and hold him down.

They are both still giggling, their faces scrunched from it, both cold and damp from the snow. Mickey stops giggling and closes his mouth, but his eyes are still creased at the edges as he looks down at Ian affectionately. He leans down and kisses him, Ian blinking in surprise.

Mickey is back up just as quickly as he went down, but his face is still lit with happiness. Ian shuffles his jacket slightly as Mickey lets him up, and he glances around the street. Nobody had seen. Nobody was watching over here anymore.

But Mickey hadn’t even looked, didn’t even check before he did that. And from the fucking smile on his face right now it looks like it didn’t even cross his mind that he should of, that someone could have seen. Ian doesn’t know how to feel about it, the gesture was sweet, but who knows what the consequences could have been…? But there _weren’t_ any, and we’re _fine_ , Ian reminds himself, smiling inwardly.

He turns to Mickey and tousles his dark hair, now wet from the melted snow. He glances up at the grey sky as the snow starts to fall harder, “C’mon. Let’s go home and get something hot to drink, before we both get fuckin pneumonia”.

Carl whines as Mickey and Ian come in the front door, taking in their appearances, “You had a snowball fight without me??”

Ian looks at him somewhat apologetically but mostly with amusement, “Sorry bud, wasn’t really planned. SOMEONE pegged me with a snowball and it just escalated from there”.

Mickey turns to him, eyebrows raised. “Well, SOMEONE pushed me into an innocent children’s snowman. _Children,_ Ian. You’re a goddamn monster”.

Ian shoves him playfully, heading towards the kitchen, “Mess with the bull, you get the horns”, he teases. Mickey rolls his eyes and stands there in the kitchen beside him, dripping, as Ian hits the kettle.

Fiona comes out from the washroom off of the kitchen and purses her lips at them, “Ian, what the fuck! You two are dripping all over the floor, go upstairs and change!”

Ian glances at Mickey, who shrugs back in confusion. Fiona rolls her eyes, “Really Ian? It’s not rocket science, give Mickey some of your dry clothes”. Ian pretends that he doesn’t notice Mickey lift his head in interest at the suggestion. “C’mon”, he tips his head at the stairs and Mickey follows him up.

Ian is pleased to find his shared bedroom empty, Lip must be out. He closes the door behind himself and Mickey, and goes over to his drawer to start pulling stuff out. He grabs a pair of Lips’s sweatpants for himself first, and a t-shirt, and then he turns to Mickey, “What do you want to wear?”

Mickey shrugs, coming over to peer down into the drawer. Ian holds up a shirt, “This ok?” Mickey looks at it, “Is it yours?” Ian squints at it, “Nooo…Lip’s I think”.

He’s used to sharing clothes with his slightly older brother, as they are about the same size. Mickey shakes his head wordlessly, and Ian raises his eyebrows in surprise but doesn’t comment on it, as he pulls out one of his own t-shirts and a pair of sweats for Mickey to wear.

Ian turns slightly, not from shyness, but from habit of sharing a room with his brothers, as he struggles out of his wet jeans. He looks up slightly into the mirror, balancing against the wall somewhat across from him, and sees Mickey standing behind him, holding the t-shirt up to his nose, breathing in. His eyes are closed.

Ian gets a warm, weird feeling in his chest when he sees that, and he smiles to himself. Mickey is now pulling off his wet shirt, and he stands there for a moment, glancing at Ian with interest.

Ian takes off his own wet shirt as he turns around, and then his damp boxers, throwing everything into a soggy pile on the floor. He steps into his sweats, watching while Mickey starts to struggle out of his jeans, the material clearly sticking to his wet skin. Ian can’t help himself, he steps towards him, and Mickey stops struggling, he straightens up completely.

Ian reaches out and touches his stomach, Mickey tensing it slightly in response. His skin is cold and rubbery feeling, like Ian’s own. He kisses Mickey’s forehead, and rubs one hand up Mickey’s arm to get his blood flow moving faster from the friction to warm him, Mickey letting out of sigh of contentment in response. Ian moves in closer and presses his bare chest against Mickey’s, letting their body heat pass through to each other. “That feels pretty good” Mickey says into his neck, and Ian feels a light kiss on his collarbone.

The bedroom door starts to open, and Ian backs away from Mickey instantly, grabbing his t-shirt defensively in the same moment.

It’s just Debbie, “Fiona says hot chocolate is ready, and to bring your laundry downstairs. Mickey’s too” she adds, looking at Mickey, who is pulling on a dry t-shirt. “Thanks Debs, be down in a minute” Ian says, smiling awkwardly at her. She heads back downstairs and they finish getting dressed in warm, dry clothes before heading down into the kitchen.

Mickey joins the table full of Gallaghers, and sips at his hot chocolate, while all of them talk casually about Frank, their bills, and something that Carl got in trouble at school for that they all find hilarious. Stuff that leaves Mickey slightly out of the loop, not intentionally, but he doesn’t seem to mind anyways.

His gaze drifts from one Gallagher to the next as they chatter excitedly, and he looks very content. His phone starts to ring, and Ian watches him answer it.

“Hello?”

It’s not on speakerphone, but they all quiet down so he can hear the person on the other line, and they end up hearing it all too, even though they pretend they don’t.

It’s his sister, Mandy. _“Hey shithead, power’s out at home, company says for the next day or so. It’s fucking freezing. Dad and Iggy and them are staying at his friend Bill’s house, but they said there isn’t enough room for anyone else”._

Mickey frowns at this news, taking another drink of his hot chocolate, “Where are you staying?”

_“Devin’s”_

“Who the fuck is-“ Mickey glances over at Liam who is also sitting at the table, and he starts over, “Who is Devin?”

_“My boyfriend”_

“Uh-huh”

_“Shut up assface. Anyways, find somewhere else to stay”._

She hangs up, and Mickey grimaces as he hears the dial tone, and then he hangs up too, putting the cell phone back into the pocket of his borrowed sweatpants.

Ian clears his throat, and pretending he doesn’t know, asks, “What was that about Mickey?” Mickey shrugs nonchalantly, “Nothin”. He doesn’t look up from the table. Ian raises one of his eyebrows and shoots Fiona a look, who tips her head back at him.

He stares at her, and she stares back for a good solid minute before she finally gives up, asking, “Mickey, would you like to stay here tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Mandy on one of my previous chapters who commented and shared her idea about the boys loving eachother's smell <3 I will definitely work that in more than once!


	12. Red Haired Brother, Dark Haired ‘Friend’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is invited to stay the night at the Gallagher house, and after a particularly amorous bang, they end up breaking the family laptop and Ian takes the blame. The two of them get high and spend a lazy evening together.

Mickey looks up uncertainly at Fiona’s offer, and then over at Ian questioningly, who of course nods at him encouragingly. They won’t be able to sleep together, but he hasn’t even slept _near_ Mickey since their class trip to Oak Forest, and he had loved waking up next to him then.

Mickey nods, “Okay, um, sure. Thanks Fiona”. Mickey never seems quite sure how to act around Ian’s older sister, and Ian has a sneaking suspicion it might be because of her motherly role in the house, something he wasn’t entirely familiar with.

Fiona smiles back at Mickey, and it seems genuine enough. “Anytime. I’m going to take the kids to the grocery store, stock up a bit on some non-perishables in case our power goes out too. You guys comin’?” She glances from her redheaded brother, to his dark haired ‘friend’.

Normally Ian is all for helping out his older sister, but she will already have Debbie and Carl to help, so he doesn’t feel too bad about shaking his head no.

“I’m beat Fiona. I think we’ll just watch a movie or something on the laptop upstairs”. Mickey shifts in his chair just slightly at the suggestion, but Fiona just nods, “Alright. Well, c’mon you guys. Debbie, get Liam dressed, ok?”

Ian stands up and takes his and Mickey’s empty cups to the sink before grabbing the laptop from the living room, and heading up the stairs towards his room, Mickey following after him as the rest of the Gallaghers get ready to head out.

They both sit on his bed, backs against the wall, and Ian pulls open the laptop as he places it on his lap to search up a free movie website on Google. A moment or two later, they hear the front door slam, the entire house now eerily quiet from the unusual lack of Gallaghers.

Mickey turns to him immediately, “We actually watching a fuckin movie, or?” Ian laughs, “Fuck no, we can do that later”.

He puts the laptop down beside himself on the bed, and then immediately turns back around to climb over a grinning Mickey, who settles his hands over Ian’s thighs as Ian presses his mouth against his, resting on his lap.

Mickey hums into the kiss after they’ve been making out for a minute or two, and removes one hand from Ian’s thighs to reach for the loose crotch of his sweatpants. He begins to stroke Ian’s cock through the thick fabric.

Ian feels his semi getting harder in response to Mickey’s touch, and Mickey’s own dick is now pressing up insistently beneath him. He swings one knee around, and gets off Mickey’s lap, to scoot upwards on his bed. Laying down on his bed normally, he pats the empty space beside himself for Mickey to come over.

He does, and they both pause to look down at the pitched tents in their sweatpants as they are head to head.

“Think we have enough time?” Mickey asks, licking his lips. Ian considers, “Probably, yeah. If I go fast”. He winks at the last part, before stretching to reach down into his night table drawer, pulling out a condom and a packet of lube as he comes back up.

He looks at Mickey, who is now pulling down Ian’s own sweatpants that he had borrowed, and feels a strange pull inside of himself. “Hey…” he looks at Mickey with consideration, “Do you want to suck my dick first?”

It’s only just now striking him that although he had sucked Mickey off several times, he’s never received a single blowjob back from Mickey. He loved sucking Mickey’s cock, the euphoric look on his face during it was reward enough alone for Ian sometimes, but seeing that perfect mouth he suddenly feels that he’s been missing out.

Mickey hesitates, “Well…how about later, we don’t got a lot of time. If you fuck me we can both get off”.

“Oh yeah, good point” Ian remembers, nodding his head and rolling on the condom. He puts some lube on his fingers and approaches Mickey, who’s now positioned on all fours, waiting for him. He thumbs the outside of his hole gently first, but noticing Mickey clenching his jaw impatiently, he thinks, _fuck it_ , and slides one finger in right away. Mickey doesn’t whine or complain at all, something that Ian fucking loves about him.

He knew himself that bottoming wasn’t easy, he’d never actually achieved being one for more than a minute or two before giving up, but Mickey was a fucking champ and would take everything he had to give, and then some. He slips another finger inside his ass and moves them apart slightly, stretching Mickey just enough so that he won’t hurt him. “You good?” he asks, his own dick now annoyed at his slow pace. “Yeah”, Mickey breathes out.

Ian bends to kiss his spine, and then straightens up, and pushes inside of him steadily. He forces his dick through Mickey’s strong muscle contractions that attempt to thwart his progress. “Fuck, you’re tight” he says appreciatively, knowing Mickey is grinning.

He presses his own thighs up against the back of Mickey’s as best he can. Doggy style is the fastest and easiest way to fuck, but it prevents him from having as much skin on skin contact as he’d honestly like to have, with Mickey.

Still, he’s not complaining, as he drives into Mickey with a building pace.

“Help me”, he pants after a while, and Mickey looks back over his shoulder, eyebrow arched, “Alright Gallagher”. He tips his dark head downwards and begins to push against each of Ian’s thrusts, shoving him deeper inside of his ass with each movement.

Some strange sound of pleasure slips from Ian’s mouth, and he’s more than aware that most of what’s coming out of it now isn’t coherent, as the combination of him thrusting and Mickey pushing back nears him to the edge.

One or both of them moves a little too forcefully as they begin to fuck harder, and they suddenly tip sideways, unsteadily, their combined weight landing on the laptop Ian had left on the bed. There’s a loud cracking sound and Mickey looks back in alarm, but Ian doesn’t give a fuck about the computer right now, and he grabs it with one hand to toss it to the floor.

Keeping one hand pressed on Mickey’s ass, he moves the other hand back around to grab his cock, finding it already pleasantly wet with precum. He doesn’t need any extra lube to pleasure him, and his bicep tenses as he begins to work Mickey’s cock with his hand in a pace that matches his thrusts into the other boy’s ass.

“I’m gonna cum”, Mickey warns him hoarsely after a minute, “Hand me something”. Ian glances around desperately, not wanting to pull out, but there’s nothing close enough for him to grab without pausing.

_Fuck it._

“Catch it in your hand”, he says, groaning, as he approaches his own orgasm. Mickey lowers his own hand just in time as Ian feels cum begin to spurt out over his hand, Mickey catching the excess as Ian groans through his own orgasm, although his is neatly collected into the condom he’s wearing.

“Fuck”, he pants after, “We better clean up”. He pulls out of Mickey slowly and heads towards the bathroom, rolling off the filled condom. He wraps it in toilet paper and hides it in the garbage as Mickey joins him in the bathroom to wash his hand off.

His cheeks are flushed and red, and he leans in to kiss Ian as he washes his hands too.

They get dressed again quickly enough, sweatpants going on more easily than jeans, just in time too, because the house is filled with a chorus of sounds again about ten minutes later. Carl comes bounding up the stairs into the bedroom he shares with Ian and the rest of his brothers after a minute or two, and he immediately looks down at the smashed laptop on the floor.

“FIONA!” he bellows, “IAN BROKE THE COMPUTER!”

Ian looks down at the laptop, now remembering it, and reddens. “Carl shut the fuck up!” It’s too late though, and Fiona appears in the doorway a minute later, _“What?”_

She looks down at the computer in disbelief, “Ian, what the fuck! You know how long it’s gonna take for us to afford another one?” Ian stands there, mouth opening and closing as he thinks of what he can possibly say, but he comes up with absolutely nothing.

“ _How the fuck_ did you manage to do this?” she demands, crouching and prying open the smashed laptop, “Did you fucking jump on it or something?”

Ian glances over at Mickey, who very quickly looks away, and he stifles a laugh. “It was an accident” he answers. She sighs, dropping the trashed computer back to the floor. “Have fun explaining that to Lip, he uses that more than any of us, _for school_ ”, she says bitchily.

Clearly trying to make him feel guilty.

“He uses it more than any of us for _porn_ ” he snaps back, but Fiona just flips him off as she leaves the room and heads back downstairs towards the kitchen, presumably to put away the groceries.

Ian shoves the broken laptop in a drawer under his bed, still grousing. He’s not sure why he’s even annoyed, because it was totally his fucking fault, but he sure as hell wasn’t gonna tell them it’s broken because he was banging Mickey so hard that they fucking _landed_ on it.

“Let’s go for a smoke” Mickey mutters, and Ian nods, thinking it’s probably a good idea for him to chill out right about now.

They sit outside on the front porch and Mickey pulls out his wallet, carefully taking out a roach. He lights it, and takes a few tiny puffs before passing it over to Ian, who does the same.

He feels a comfortable haze start to settle over his mind. “I want McDonald’s” he mutters, a few minutes later. Mickey laughs, “You’re fucking stoned”.

Ian peers over at the other boy’s red eyes, “You fucking are too”. Mickey shrugs jovially, “Not gonna argue with that. C’mon, let’s go get your munchy ass a burger”.

By the time they get back home from their burgers and milkshakes, it’s late, and Ian isn’t high anymore, but he still sort of feels like he is. As Mickey leaves the bedroom to use the bathroom, the two eldest Gallagher brothers now starting to settle into bed as the others are already asleep, Ian realizes it’s just the comfortable feeling that settles over him when Mickey is around.

He doesn’t even bother telling Lip about the laptop, he’s not even sure he’ll care as much as Fiona thinks he will. His older brother passes out before Mickey even returns from the washroom, and Ian watches contentedly as Mickey starts to spread out the odd assortment of blankets and pillows the Gallaghers had been able to spare for him, in some sort of a nest, directly beside Ian’s bed.

The lights are turned off soon after by a passing Fiona, and he feels his own eyes begin to droop as he listens to the sounds of his brothers, and possibly Mickey, sleeping. He dangles his hand slightly over the edge of his bed, not sure why he even is. But a few moments later, he feels Mickey’s fingers reaching upwards into his hand, and then squeezing it, and he realizes that’s exactly what he was hoping for.

He falls asleep like that, without knowing that Mickey had waited until he knew for sure that Ian was asleep, before taking his hand away and going to sleep himself.


	13. Are You Two Like…Best Friends Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona finally notices and comments on the close "friendship" between Mickey and Ian. Back at school later that day, Mickey admits to something surprising and a little embarrassing.

Ian wakes up in the morning with a smile already on his freckled face, as he opens his eyes lazily. Knowing Mickey has been sleeping just below him for the past several hours gives him an indescribable feeling of comfort, and it will be nice not to have to _text him_ to say good morning for once. He dangles his hand over the edge of his bed again, waiting to see if Mickey takes it or not.

He doesn’t. Must still be asleep.

Ian rolls over on the bed, and pulls himself to the edge to look down and admire Mickey’s sleeping form.

But he isn’t there.

Ian frowns at the small pile of awkwardly folded blankets on the ground beside a couple of pillows, where Mickey had fallen asleep the night before.

He grabs his phone to check the time as he glances around the bedroom at his still sleeping brothers. It’s 7:30 a.m. The entire house is apparently still asleep, based on the overall quietness.

He gets up from his bed, careful not to make any noise, scratching his chest as he stretches slightly before padding down the hallway towards the bathroom.

No sign of Mickey in there either. Ian still feels half asleep as he takes a piss, wondering where Mickey had wandered off to.

He heads down the stairs slowly, towards the kitchen, hearing the coffee maker gurgling happily as a fresh pot of coffee is being made. The scent of the coffee makes his mind perk up slightly, in anticipation of caffeine.

“Fiona?” he asks, rubbing one of his eyes with his hand. But as he steps fully into the kitchen he sees it’s Mickey standing there by the fridge, holding a brush and a dustpan filled with various pieces of cereal and dirt from the kitchen floor in his hands. 

Ian looks at him in confusion, raising his eyebrow at the unexpected sight. Mickey shrugs slightly defensively as he explains himself, “I woke up early, couldn’t fucking fall asleep again. So I came down to clean up a bit. I made you coffee”. Ian looks at the coffee maker, the pot now filled to the top with fresh coffee, and then back at Mickey. “You’re ama-“

“Oh sweet, who made coffee?” Fiona comes tumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen with them, impossibly light and beautiful even in the mornings. Mickey looks up at her somewhat shyly from behind his coffee cup, and Ian can’t believe how fucking adorable he can be sometimes.

“Mickey did”, Ian says, causing Fiona to turn and look at him in surprise.

“Oh, thanks” she says, as she takes the coffee cup that Mickey is offering her.

“Are you two like…” she glances between the two of them thoughtfully, and Ian sees Mickey’s eyes widen as his own heart begins to race, “… best friends now?” she finishes, taking a sip of her coffee. Ian nods his head vigorously and Mickey does too.

“Yeah, I was kinda wondering why you were always hanging around now” she laughs, looking at Mickey. He doesn’t answer, and instead just takes another drink of his coffee. “Yeah well, we sorta became friends on that field trip at the end of September” Ian explains, edging around Mickey to reach the toaster.

“Any friend that cleans the house and makes coffee is a fucking good one. Always welcome here, Mickey” Fiona adds, although she is looking at the dark-haired boy with a strange expression on her face, like she just can’t figure him out.

Ian can’t really fucking blame her though. Mickey’s standing there in their kitchen with FUCK U-UP tattooed onto his hands, and he’s sporting a slow healing split lip from another fight at school that took place not so long ago. At this point, Ian doesn’t even ask half of the time what a new scrape or bruise is from.

He’s just got a reputation and _this-_ him cleaning up the Gallagher kitchen and making them coffee- doesn’t really fit it.

But Ian’s quickly learned that there’s a lot more to Mickey Milkovich than meets the eye, and he hopes Fiona eventually does too. He might be tough on the streets, or with outsiders, but he’d do damn near anything for someone he fucking cared about, something that really drew Ian to him.

He looks at his older sister wistfully as she begins to butter some of the toast he had made. This is the kind of thing he’d love to be able to talk to her about...

“Mandy texted me and said the power’s back up. I better head back home, have to grab my bio assignment.” Mickey eventually says, glancing towards the front door. “I’ll see ya at school Ian, and thanks for letting me stay over Fiona”.

She turns to look at him in surprise, “Oh, no problem. If the power goes out again just come back”. Mickey blushes slightly at the invitation, nodding his thanks, and Ian’s heart gets a warm stupid feeling from his sister’s words. For some reason, he just really wants his family to like Mickey, even if they can't know they're together. He waves as Mickey heads out the front door, wishing he could do more to say goodbye.

His phone lights up a few seconds later.

  ***kiss* cause I couldn’t give you one**

Ian smiles at his phone, squeezing it in his hand. Fiona hands him a plate with some toast on it, “You know, I think maybe I misjudged that kid before” she says thoughtfully.

Ian tries to answer casually, but his heart thumps slightly at Mickey being the topic of discussion, “Oh yeah?”

She nods, chewing a bite of her toast, “I honestly thought he was just a shit disturber, I mean who _doesn’t_ think that? Milkovich’s are flat out crazy. But he seems nice enough when he’s around here”. Ian practically beams at his sister, and he feels another urge to tell her how he _actually_ feels about the boy that she thinks is just his best friend.

Instead, he clears his throat slightly, and says, “He’s actually a really good friend to have, surprisingly enough”.

Fiona tousles her younger brother’s red hair with her free hand, “I’m glad to see you hanging out with friends _your_ age Ian. You’re a good kid, you know that? Always helping me out at home. But you spent too much time on your own before. Everyone needs that one friend, you know? Like I have V”.

Ian swallows, remembering the lonely truth of that, “Yeah. I’m lucky to have a… friend, like him”.

Mickey ends up running late for school by the time he gets home and texts Ian to let him know, so Ian doesn’t see him again until second period. He pauses in the doorway of his classroom for a moment before heading over to the empty desk beside Mickey, no one being a rush to sit beside him at any given time.

Works out well for Ian.

“Hey” he says, looking down at what Mickey is scratching into his desk with his pen cap.

_ FUCK _

No surprise there.

Mickey looks up from his handiwork to nod his head back, and as he turns slightly Ian notices that he is still wearing his t-shirt that he had borrowed under his unzipped hoodie, even though he’s wearing his own jeans now.

It’s just a plain dark blue t-shirt, no one else would ever even notice that it was Ian’s, but Ian let himself pretend during class it was a clear symbol that Mickey was his, to anyone else that might think otherwise.

When he heads to the bleachers at lunch he sees Mickey has a milkshake in his hand, and another one sitting on the ground beside himself. Ian takes the second one without asking, he doesn’t need to, he knows its for him. “Strawberry” Mickey says, taking a sip of his own, “Was fuckin craving another one after yesterday”.

“Thanks” Ian smiles, taking a sip of the thick and sweet drink, “When did you have time to get them?” Mickey yawns and stretches slightly, “Skipped third. Took a fuckin nap and then went and got these”.

Ian shivers slightly as he takes another sip of the milkshake. Frankly, it’s a little fucking cold out for the icecreamy drink, but he still appreciates the gesture.

He feels a little hotter as he watches Mickey suck on his straw with a final long and hard pull, reaching the bottom of his milkshake with a loud suctioning sound. Ian grins, “So, what do you think about maybe doing that to me after school?”

Mickey glances back at him, “Huh?”

Ian copies Mickey’s action on his own milkshake’s straw, and Mickey blushes slightly before looking away.

He doesn’t say anything, and Ian teases, “Well?” Mickey coughs uncomfortably into his hand, “Don’t know how”.

Ian frowns in confusion, “You mean, you’ve never-“ Mickey cuts him off, “No, I fucking haven’t”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o


	14. Hooked On You Since Oak Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian 'teaches' Mickey how to give head. A conversation about past sexual experiences after leaves Ian feeling a little jealous.

Ian isn’t quite sure how to respond to Mickey’s confession, so he ends up just saying,

“Oh”.

Mickey looks back at him again, trying to gauge his expression.

Ian tries to keep his face blank as the other boy stares at him. He’s surprised, but he probably shouldn’t be. He knew Mickey had much less experience than him, he’d admitted before that he’d only bottomed twice before Ian, and neither experience sounded particularly intimate. According to Mickey, both had occurred during a haze of alcoholic intoxication.

Ian finally says, trying to be encouraging, “Well, you’ve gotten a fuck ton of them. It’s not hard, I can show you”. Mickey raises an eyebrow at him, “You wanna teach me how to suck your fucking dick?”

Ian would be lying if he said that didn’t give him at the very least a semi.

“Think it could be fun” he answers, as Mickey shifts uncomfortably. He smirks as he adds as an afterthought, “I mean, I love sucking yours”.

This finally earns him a grin from Mickey, and he tips his dark head slightly, looking back at Ian as he lights a cigarette. He answers with it still between his lips, “Okay”.

Ian drops the topic for the rest of the school day until him and Mickey are walking home, and then he brings it up again, “We should probably just go right to the fucking construction site, we know we’ll have privacy there”.

He doesn’t want to waste any time running between the Milkovich and the Gallagher houses, hoping for one of them to be empty.

“Oh…yeah…” Mickey answers.

He’s still clearly not as excited as Ian is for this. They turn onto Rogers street instead of continuing on towards Ian’s house, and head into the crumbling building with _fuck_ spray-painted over it’s empty doorway.

 _That’s kinda symbolic, isn’t it?_   Ian thinks, as he passes underneath it, Mickey just behind him.

He starts to unbuckle his belt, and Mickey laughs nervously as he watches him, “Maybe you should suck mine again instead, show me how to do it right”.

Ian presses his lips together as if he’s impatient, but he’s more so amused, “Mick, it’s not that bad. Seriously, you’re overthinking this”.

Mickey snorts, “ _Alright Ian,_ Jesus. I’m not swallowing like some goddamn pornstar though".

Ian just looks at him and Mickey waves his hand impatiently, "Pull down your fucking pants”.

He immediately obliges and Mickey runs his hand down over his mouth, scratching his chin as he looks down at Ian’s dick thoughtfully.

Ian takes off his backpack and leans his shoulders up against the concrete wall, dropping the bag down in front of himself. “Kneel on that” he says, trying to make Mickey more comfortable.

Mickey does kneel, and looks up at him once more, uncertainly, now an inch away from his semi. Just knowing that it’s about to happen is already getting Ian hard, but the cold is keeping him from getting all the way there just yet.

He holds his cock out with one hand and wiggles it slightly in front of the other boy’s face. Mickey immediately glares up at him, flipping him off, “Fuck off”.

Ian looks at him teasingly, “Just put your mouth on _i-“_

He shivers as Mickey suddenly surprises him by slipping his lips over the tip of his cock, effectively shutting him up, even as he continues to flip him off.

Mickey closes his eyes as he slowly but steadily takes Ian further into his mouth, lowering his hand to Ian’s thigh as he does. Ian’s cock is enveloped deeper into an incredible hot wetness, that is in stark contrast to the cold winter air hovering inside of the empty building’s concrete walls.

He makes sure he stands very still as Mickey starts to actually suck him off, clearly trying to remember and copy some of the actions he had used on him before. He feels his dick resting over Mickey’s tongue like a heavy weight, and it makes him feel very dominant in the moment. 

The other boy gags slightly as Ian approaches the back of his throat, and his eyes flicker open immediately, looking up at Ian for reassurance.

He strokes the other boy’s dark head comfortingly, “So good Mick, feels so fuckin good”.

Mickey nods slightly and continues. He grips Mickey’s hair gently as his cock twitches inside the others boys mouth, the sensation already causing an orgasmic tension to creep into his balls.

It’s literally been fucking months since he had a blowjob, but as he looks down at Mickey sucking him off, he feels it’s totally fucking worth it. It’s taken him about ten minutes to get over his initial awkward exploration of giving his first blowjob, but in Ian’s opinion, he’s owning it now.

Mickey’s electric blue eyes drift upwards towards Ian intently again, who feels his own eyes getting heavier as he fights wave after wave of pleasure, controlling himself from humping into Mickey’s mouth when the other boy opens it slightly, attempting to speak around his cock.

It’s hard to understand what he’s saying, his voice is muffled by the dick in his mouth, but the mischievous glimmer in those gorgeous and heated fucking eyes helps to translate.

_“I likeh itd”._

Ian groans, pressing his head back against the concrete wall, trying not to cum.

 _Was that dirty talk?_ Felt pretty fucking dirty, felt pretty fucking hot…

He forces himself to look back down after another minute at the other boy, “You like it, don’t you…sucking my cock”. He’s breathing heavily now, watching intently as Mickey nods his yes, not bothering to stop for even a moment to answer him with words.

Mickey reaches a tattooed hand upwards to grasp the base of his shaft, jerking him off as he continues to suck his cock, and Ian steps backwards, feeling slightly dizzy.

The cold concrete against his ass cheeks steadies his attention immediately though. “Mickey…I’m gonna cum” he whispers, scratching the top of Mickey’s dark head slowly, Mickey briefly closing his eyes at the pleasant sensation.

He pulls his mouth off of the tip of Ian’s cock, but continues to jerk him off, his bicep flexing from the motion. The shock of the cold winter air on Ian’s wet cock gives him a strangely erotic sensation, and he begins to jizz past Mickey’s shoulder onto the grey concrete behind him,“ _Fuck Mick_ ”.

He straightens to pull up his pants once he’s finished, his sensitive and softening cock now feeling the harsh effects of the cold winter air.

Mickey licks his bottom lip, looking at him intently. Ian leans forward and presses his lips into the other boy’s, perceiving a mild taste of his own precum there. He groans slightly, closing his eyes, and brings a hand up to Mickey’s cheek to hold his face reassuringly.

He hears Mickey swallowing nervously, and he opens his eyes again to look into the other boy’s. “That was fucking amazing” he tells him, seeing a brief but definite flash of pleasure in Mickey’s blue eyes at the compliment.

He tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care anyways, “Didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but whatever”. Ian smirks, is Mickey _trying_ to fish for more compliments?

It’s pretty fucking adorable that _Mickey Milkovich_ , the ‘thug’ of the southside, wants some more positive feedback about his dick sucking skills.

“Your mouth did” Ian answers, winking. Mickey blushes, and flips him off in response as he takes out his Marlboros.

“Hard to believe you’ve never done it before” Ian says, nodding his head in interest at the cigarette pack. Mickey hands him one, “Why is that hard to fuckin believe? I’ve only been with two other guys”.

Ian frowns, his train of thought now directed onto a new path, “I thought you said you’d only bottomed twice before”.

Mickey raises his eyebrow back at him, “Yeah, I did. When I was fuckin plastered. _I_ fucked both of em more than once though”.

Ian feels a strange sense of jealousy come over him as he hears this, which seems ridiculous, because he’d fucked more than two guys before Mickey. He just hates the fucking thought of anyone other than him being with Mickey.

“Well, did you like it? Fucking them?” he tries to ask casually.

Mickey shrugs, taking a pull from his cigarette, “Yeah, course. What’s not to like?” He laughs after he says that, shaking his head, and Ian looks down at the ground.

Ian feels a light and playful punch on his shoulder, and Mickey’s looking at him sincerely now, “I like this better though, a _lot_ better”. Ian just can’t seem to drop it though, “Were you dating them?”

Mickey laughs harshly, “Fuck no. Didn’t spend more than two weeks hooking up with either of them before I couldn’t stand em any longer”.

Ian nods. He not sure if that’s what _this is_ , dating, but it feels like it’s more important than whatever Mickey is describing. Still, he feels a little down and jealous now, picturing Mickey with two other guys. Wondering what that was like, how they made him feel...him fucking them.

Mickey’s hand comes underneath his chin, turning his head towards his face so he can look into Ian’s green eyes, “Hey, why do you got that look on your face? You told me you weren’t a virgin our first time”.

“I wasn’t”, Ian answers honestly, “I just kinda wish… I was _your_ first time I guess, that’s all”.

Mickey shrugs, “Why? Not like it was fucking special. What was your first time with a dude like, anyways?”

Ian thinks back to the first time Kash had propositioned him at work, when he’d been restocking boxes of Cheerios in the back room of the Kash & Grab. It had been exciting, hot even... but not special. “Good point”. 

Mickey nods in an _I-told-you-so_ kind of way, but doesn’t ask for any more detail on Ian’s first gay experience. He grins after a moment though, “Course, if my first time was with you, maybe it would have been, I dunno”. He winks as he takes a pull from his cigarette.

Ian feels his good mood returning, and he turns and grabs Mickey to give him a playful noogie. “Maybe?” he teasingly demands, rubbing his knuckles into Mickey’s dark head. 

Mickey laughs, trying to shove him off, “Alright, alright. Course it would have been special. You realize I’ve been fuckin hooked on you since Oak Forest right? Dumbass” he adds, affectionately.

Ian releases his hold on the slightly shorter boy, “That’s more like it”. Mickey runs his hand over his black hair once he is released, flattening it back down after Ian had messed it up, as the redhead moves in front of him.

“Kiss me” Ian says.

Mickey leans in and happily obliges, a small smile of amusement on his face as he does.


	15. Faster Than I Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey wants some more 'practice' pleasuring Ian. Mickey and Ian pick up a new game. Mickey spends the day with the Gallagher siblings in the snow, sledding and having fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some explicit stuff, and then a whole lot of fluff (my favorite) <3

Ian had just about choked when Mickey had told his younger sister Mandy to fuck off and leave them alone because he needed ‘tutoring’ from Ian. “For what?” she had demanded, like Ian also wondering since when did Mickey give enough of a shit about school to ask for tutoring?

“MATH” Mickey had yelled out, slamming his bedroom door shut.

His math grade is better than Ian’s.

Ian hears Mandy’s own bedroom door slam shut a minute later. Milkovich siblings, one usually screeching at the other, regardless of the fact they would do anything for each other. Ian smiles as it reminds him of his own siblings.

Mickey turns and approaches where he is sitting on the bed, “Pull down those fuckin pants Gallagher”. Ian grins, raising his ginger eyebrows, and Mickey continues defensively, “I need practice”.

He smirks as Ian quickly undoes his belt buckle and slides down his pants, enough for him to have access to his dick.

Mickey’s hesitation is completely gone this second time, and he attacks Ian’s dick almost aggressively with his mouth and tongue, Ian letting out his breath in a hiss in response. Mickey is using a lot more force and suction this time, going at it eagerly, like he’s fucking starving.

Mandy starts blasting music from her room, and both boys pause and look up for just a minute at the sound.

“Ah, _ah_ …” Ian presses his hand against Mickey’s forehead, pushing him off slightly. Mickey looks up at him, an eyebrow cocked in annoyance at the interruption.

“Gentler, watch your fuckin teeth man”. Mickey rolls his eyes, but continues more carefully, although he keeps up his zealous pace.

Ian bites his lip and tries to keep from groaning, “You gonna swallow this time?” he asks, his voice hoarse. Mickey shakes his head no, leaving Ian feeling just _slightly_ disappointed. It would be really fucking hot to watch Mickey swallow his load, but it doesn’t really impact the actual blowjob all that much.

 _Hands to Myself_ blasts from Mandy’s room next, and Ian closes his eyes as he listens to the well-timed song while Mickey goes down on him.

_So come on give me a taste, Of what it’s like to be next to you, Won't let one drop go to waste. You're metaphorical gin and juice._

Mickey is quiet now, and it looks like he’s listening to the fucking song too.

_Can't keep my hands to myself. My hands to myself…_

He swallows hard as Mickey takes a cue gets his hand involved again, the sucking and stroking proving too much for him to handle. “Well you better get something ready then” he warns, trying to hold out from orgasming but getting dangerously close to it.

Mickey removes his mouth from Ian’s cock and looks around his bedroom, but Ian’s eyes glaze as he takes in his side profile, his strong jaw, his perfect fucking mouth…

His stomach jerks and he comes all over Mickey’s dark shirt, who slowly looks down at it as he turns back around. “Sorry” Ian breathes out.

He grins apologetically as Mickey yanks off his shirt and tosses it into a pile of dirty laundry on his floor. “Don’t be sorry” Mickey says, leaning in to kiss his forehead. Ian takes advantage of his higher stance to kiss his chest, and then his stomach.

Mickey bites his lip, “Don’t get me fuckin going before you go to work. Already got a chub”. Ian stands and does his belt back up, “Well guess you’ll have to take care of it without me”, grinning as Mandy cranks the volume some more from her room.

_The doctors say you're no good. But people say what they wanna say. And you should know if I could,  
I'd breathe you in every single day._

Mickey flips him off, but then leans in tenderly and kisses him, “Have a good shift Ian”.

Ian is sitting at the Kash & Grab a few hours later, bored out of his skull, listening to the radio numbly as not a single customer has arrived in well over an hour. He nods his head to the song on the radio, and then decides to bug Mickey to entertain himself, texting him a lyric from the song without explaining it.

“ ** _Yeah, I think about the end just way too much_** ”

His phone immediately lights up with, “ **Wtf Ian??** ”

And then, “ **Mandy still has her radio on you douche, I’m listening to the same fucking song** ”. Ian laughs, typing out the next line “ ** _But it’s fun to fantasize_** ”.

Mickey surprisingly then plays along, “ ** _All my enemies who wouldn't wish who I was_ ”**.

Ian grins, and manages to type out the _fun to fantasize_ line again and send it right as a customer comes in. He puts his phone down, and forgets about the game until the end of his shift, when he sees one there was more line sent by Mickey from the song.

“ ** _Oh, I'm falling, so I'm taking my time on my ride_** ”.

 

Fiona asks Ian about two weeks later on a Saturday if he’ll keep an eye on the kids for her. Christmas is now rapidly approaching, and she had only just scraped up enough money to get the younger kids some gifts, after he and Lip had helped pitch in of course.

Ian hesitates at her request, normally he is always willing to help out, but, “Well I sort of had plans with Mickey already today”.

She frowns at him, “Ian, I need to get this shit done. Christmas is less than a week away, and I don’t have anything for the kids yet. I’m working doubles to even pay for this stuff this week, and you’re on holiday”. He stifles a sigh, trying not to look too disappointed even though he’s a little irritated, “Alright”.

She laughs at him like he’s stupid, “Ian, just invite him _here._ You can still hang out, just keep an eye on things, on Liam”. Ian nods as she pulls on her coat and begins winding her scarf around her neck, before she heads out the front door.

He types a text out to Mickey. “ **Gotta babysit, sorry. Fiona says you can come here though. Do you mind?”**

His phone lights up, “ **No lol. Can I come now though? Dad’s home** ”.

“ **Get your fine ass over here** ” Ian adds a kiss face emoji to the end of that one, knowing it will piss Mickey off. He laughs out loud as he reads Mickey’s response, “ **You can’t see it but I’m flipping you off right now Gallagher** ”.

Mickey seems to be in a good mood anyways as he shows up at the Gallagher’s front door, though his cheeks are flushed from the cold. It’s snowing again, adding to the heavy piles already shoveled onto the front yard.

He takes Liam from Ian’s arms, who’s struggling to both balance the three-year-old and also close the door behind Mickey. “Sup little man” he says, and Liam shyly smiles back at him.

“Wanna play peek a boo?” Mickey asks, covering Liam’s eyes with his hands for a moment. Ian looks at him in absolute surprise until Mickey leans over and kisses him while Liam can’t see, his cold lips warming against Ian’s warm ones.

“Good job buddy”, Mickey takes his hands away, and Liam giggles. Ian heads back into the kitchen with Liam trailing after him as Mickey takes off his coat and drops it by the door, kicking off his snow-covered boots.

He comes into the kitchen just as Debbie and Carl come traipsing down the stairs. “We’re bored” Carl complains, looking at Ian expectantly. “And that’s my problem…why?” Ian asks. “Fiona said you’re watching us, so it _is_ your problem” Debbie tells him, sounding very matter of factly.

Ian looks up at Mickey, expecting him to be regretting coming over, but he seems pretty content, he’s just leaning against the kitchen counter and watching the exchange between the Gallagher siblings. “They got a point” Mickey says, noticing Ian looking at him.

“We should go sledding!” Carl yells, looking out the window at the falling snow outside.

“Uh…” Ian glances over at Mickey, who shrugs and makes a casual face indicating that he doesn’t care.

Ian caves, “Alright, alright. You two get your own shit together though, takes forever to get Liam in his snowsuit”. He watches his siblings run for the front closet to grab their winter coats. “Toss me Liam’s stuff” he yells. Multiple articles of clothing are flung into the living room a moment later.

Mickey heads towards them and pulls his own coat back on, glancing back as Ian says, “Can you please go with them to the shed in the backyard, and get their sleds? I’ll meet you in the front in a few minutes, after I get me and Liam dressed”.

Mickey rolls his eyes just slightly, but heads outside anyways with the other two Gallagher siblings, as Ian finishes dressing Liam and then himself.

He comes outside to find Mickey and Carl arguing as Debbie stands there impatiently.

“No, I’m not lugging your fuckin ass around in a sled. Your sister can walk, so can you”.

Carl is already sitting in the sled though, apparently refusing to move, “Why are you even here if you’re not gonna help Mickey?” he sneers, the older boy flipping him off. Nothing that Carl isn’t already used to though.

Ian laughs as he comes over, “Carl, you know you’re too fucking old for this right? Look, I can only pull one and Liam’s got that spot taken”.

Mickey looks down at the quiet little kid in the snowsuit beside him, kicking gently at his small sled. “I’ll pull Liam” he offers, glancing back up at Ian.

Ian grins. _Does he not realize that he’s making me fall for him faster than I even fucking want to?_

He hands Mickey the rope for Liam’s sled. Debbie walks beside her older brother through the piles of snow, as him and Mickey drag his other sibling’s sleds through the snow.

Carl starts chucking snowballs at Mickey from behind, as he sits in his sled, and Mickey looks back to shoot him a warning glance, his eyebrow raised aggressively. Liam starts to giggle though, and Mickey’s expression softens just a bit before he turns back around, and spits off to the side.

“You fuck off back there” Ian says, chuckling, coming to Mickey’s defense, and Carl begrudgingly ceases fire.

They reach the park near their house where there is a perfect hill for sledding, and Carl jumps out of his sled immediately, and takes the rope from Ian to run up the hill with it. Debbie chases after him, “We’re _sharing_ _butthead,_ wait for me!”

Mickey pulls Liam over to the lower part of the hill, and turns his sled around when he gets to the top. “Ready?” he asks, Ian coming up beside them.

Liam shakes his head.

Mickey looks at Ian and whispers, “Is that a fucking yes or a no?” Ian looks at his younger brother. “No” he confirms and he crouches beside him, “What’s up Liam?” Liam looks back behind himself and points at Mickey, his eyes shy but happy.

“He wants you to go down the hill with him” Ian clarifies.

Mickey looks flummoxed, “You go down with him”.

Liam shakes his head and Ian laughs, “Can’t. You’re the fucking chosen one”. Mickey frowns, “ _Jesus_...alright then”. But he doesn’t seem all that fucking annoyed as he gets on the sled that’s really too small for him, and extends his legs out around Liam.

“Give us a fuckin push Private Ryan” he says, starting to realize none of Gallaghers filter themselves around their younger siblings.

Before Ian can oblige, Debbie comes running up to them, tugging at his arm. “Can I use your phone? Carl and I want to take pictures of us sledding. Pleaseee”.

Ian hands her his phone and then crouches, giving Mickey and Liam a push. He watches happily as they drift down the hill, Liam’s little laugh floating back upwards towards him. Mickey gets off to pull him back up the hill after they reach the bottom, and he’s got a stupid big grin on his face. He tries to hide it when he sees Ian looking at him, instantly makes his face blank, but Ian didn’t miss the happy look on his face.

He fucking loves it. “Did you get a pic of that Debs?” he calls, seeing her aiming the phone towards them. She gives him a thumbs up, and snaps some more pics as Mickey comes over to Ian, missing the fact that he’s being photographed.

Mickey gently touches his fingers, and Ian pulls his hand away, tipping his head towards Debbie casually.

“Shit” Mickey mutters, even though Debbie obviously didn’t catch on to anything. Ian slugs him in the shoulder playfully so he’ll relax, and lines up Liam’s sled again.

They spend the entire morning at the park, until well past lunch time actually, taking turns using the sleds and going down the hill. At one point, they line up both sleds to make a line and all five of them go down at once, all of them laughing like crazy the entire time.

When they finally go home, cold and snowy, their noses running, and more than ready for a hot drink, Ian realizes that he was really lucky Fiona had asked him to stay home today, and look after his siblings with Mickey.

He couldn’t have chosen a better day for himself.


	16. One Of Me, And You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their time spent playing in the snow, it becomes clear the Liam has taken a liking to Mickey. Later that day, out of nowhere, Mickey's attitude seems to change towards Ian.

Mickey and Ian come traipsing back into the Gallagher house with Carl, Debbie, and Liam in tow, after spending several hours sledding on the snowy hill down the street.

They all stomp off as much snow from their boots onto the porch and the doormat as possible, before coming inside and kicking off their boots and peeling off their wet winter coats. “I’m colddd” Debbie says, hugging herself, as she heads into the living room to wrap a blanket around herself.

Ian is still struggling to get Liam out of his snowsuit as Mickey bends down to help, and together they manage to get a relatively dry Liam undressed before stripping off their own winter coats. “Guess it’s time for hot chocolate” Ian says, heading into the kitchen and filling up the electric kettle before turning it on.

“You want one too?” he asks Mickey, pulling out mugs from the cupboard. Mickey rolls his eyes, “What kind of fucking question is that Ian, seriously”.

Ian laughs, flipping him off in response before handing him the tin of no-name hot chocolate powder, “Alright, well, you get them started. I’m gonna run upstairs and get a hoodie, it _is_ fucking cold in here”. He pauses for just a moment to turn up the thermostat before he bounds up the stairs towards his bedroom.

He digs through his dresser drawers for a while, before finally finding the grey hoodie he wants, and he yanks it over his head as he heads back down the stairs towards the kitchen. He pauses before he reaches the bottom step though, hearing Liam’s little voice drifting up towards him, who rarely talks.

“There’s words on your hands” he’s saying, and Ian silently goes down another step to peek into the kitchen. Mickey’s sitting at the table beside Liam, with his back to Ian, so he doesn’t see him there.

Liam is touching Mickey’s tattooed hands, who flattens them to let him. “Yeah there is” he answers, a smile in his tone. Liam beams at him, and swings his legs as he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. Ian quickly says, forgetting his stealth position, “Did you put ice cubes in that for him? It’s too hot for him to have right away”.

Mickey turns around in his seat to give him a look, eyebrow raised, “I’m not fucking stupid Ian, I tested it before I gave it to him”.

Ian relaxes, scratching his head slightly in embarrassment, he should have known better, “Sorry”. Mickey shrugs, smiling, as he lifts his own chipped mug to his lips.

Ian glances over at Carl and Debbie, who are having theirs in front of the TV in the living room, before joining Mickey and his little brother at the kitchen table. “So, Fiona’s Christmas shopping?” Mickey asks casually.

“Yeah, who told you?” he asks in return, but from the look on Liam’s face it’s obvious, and Mickey’s tip of his head towards the little boy is unnecessary.

Mickey lowers his voice slightly, “So, what do you like, want?” Ian looks at him, confused, “For Christmas?” Mickey nods, but his gaze is fixed on the table, not Ian.

Ian is somewhat baffled, “Nothing, I don’t need anything”. Mickey raises his head and shoots him a look, so he reluctantly promises, “I’ll think of something, and let you know”, which earns him a more accepting nod from Mickey. After a while he says, “Does he need a nap or something? Kid looks beat”.

Ian looks up from his phone at his little brother, his big brown eyes now drooping slightly. “Yeah, probably wore himself out at the park. C’mon Liam”, Ian stands and waves his younger brother towards the stairs, who sleepily joins him, Mickey following behind.

He tucks Liam into his little bed, and then stretches out onto his own, Mickey joining him to sit on the bed beside him. They both scroll on their phones lazily for a while, until he looks over and notices Liam is passed out. He taps Mickey’s elbow, who looks down and seeing the opportunity, leans to kiss Ian slowly.

It’s a tender kiss, drawn out and warm, each of them transferring their affection to the other one. Ian sighs slightly in contentment as they pull away.

“Hey, let’s look at the pics that Debbie took on my phone” he whispers, remembering his younger sister taking pictures of them at the park. Mickey nods in agreement, and Ian opens his recents album and begins to scroll through the pictures from earlier that day.

The first several are of Carl and Debbie, mostly goofy ones, but a few really good shots he’ll have to send to Fiona, he thinks.

Then him and Mickey start to appear in the background, and Ian’s heart does a funny swoop as he sees one shot of Mickey and Liam flying down the hill together on the sled, both of their faces stretched into happy smiles, both of them laughing.

“He… really likes you” he says quietly, and Mickey looks over at the little boy sleeping across the room. “He’s a good kid. Not annoying”. His words are somewhat casual, but his tone has an unmistakable hint of affection in it.

Ian feels a strange burst of affection of his own, both towards both his youngest brother and Mickey, but doesn’t comment on it, to be honest he’s not really sure what it is or how to describe it.

The next picture is of him and Mickey standing beside each other, and it’s the moment Mickey had gently touched his hand, thinking it would go unnoticed. Mickey raises his eyebrow at the picture, “Didn’t realize we had fuckin paparazzi”.

Ian laughs softly, “I’ll keep that one hidden on my phone, promise. But I wanna keep it”. Mickey doesn’t argue, and the next few pictures of them are really good shots, both of them either smiling or laughing, cheeks flushed in the winter air, they look like they’ve been best friends for a very long time.

Ian drinks in each picture with interest, the firsts he’s had of Mickey and himself. Mickey doesn’t seem to be as openly affected by them, just shows an initial curiosity for each new picture, but as he reaches the end of the roll Ian has an idea.

“This might be stupid, but for Christmas, can I use one of these pictures for my profile picture? One of me and you?”

Mickey looks at him like he’s crazy, “The fuck do you mean, _can_ you ? I mean, as long as we don’t look fuckin gay in it or anything I don’t care. And that’s not a present Ian”. He pokes Ian in the arm as he makes his last point.

Ian repeats firmly, “That’s what I want. And this one, this one doesn’t look gay at all”.

Mickey looks at him in exasperation at first, but then his expression softens as he looks at the picture, “Okay… if that’s what you fucking want”.

“It is” Ian says, and he hears Fiona start to call for him downstairs. “She’s gonna wake up Liam” he hisses, quickly standing up. “Change my profile pic for me” he says, tossing his phone at Mickey, before stepping out of the room and pulling the door closed behind himself.

He goes down the stairs quickly, “Fiona, _shut up!_ Liam’s sleeping”.

“Oh, shit. Whoops” she puts one hand over her mouth apologetically, “I need help carrying this stuff to my room”. Ian nods, “Yeah sure”. He takes a few of the bags and follows her back upstairs into her room.

“What’d you guys do today? Where’s Mickey?” she asks, opening her closet to sort some of the gifts before jamming them inside.

Ian sits on the edge of her bed, “Took everyone sledding, had a blast. He’s in there with Liam still”.

“Oh, that’s nice” she says, standing back with her hands on her hips as she looks at her overstuffed closet. Ian grins, “Yeah, got some great pics, wanna see them?” She turns and smiles at him, “Duh!”

He reaches into his pocket, but finding it empty, remembers, “Oh! I left it with Mickey. Be right back”.

He crosses the hallway towards his own room, but as soon as he reaches the door to pull it open, Mickey is already coming out. He shoves Ian’s phone at his chest, “Here” he says bluntly, “I gotta go”. He doesn’t even look up at Ian as he says it.

Ian frowns at his sudden change in attitude, “You don’t wanna stay for dinner? I-“

“No, bye” Mickey cuts him off, and pushes past him, hurrying down the stairs.

Ian is baffled as he heads back to Fiona’s room, but shakes his head, figuring Mickey probably got a phone call from his fucking asshole of a dad or something. He quickly hides the one slightly unusual photo of Mickey touching his hand in a different folder, and then hands Fiona his phone to scroll through the rest of the pictures.

Her brown eyes widen and shine with delight as she looks through them, “I love these! You all look so happy! Oh my gosh, look at Carl here. Debs is taking these right?” She reaches the one picture of Mickey and Liam that had made his own heart swell with an unfamiliar feeling, “Oh my God this is cute”.

He nods, wishing he could say more.

“Send me all of them pleaseee” she says in a sing song voice, handing him back his phone. “Sure thing” he salutes her jokingly, and then heads back into his own room, quietly closing the door behind himself so he doesn’t wake up Liam.

He pops in his headphones, and works on some readings for English that he was assigned to do over the holiday break, and texts Mickey about one of their math assignments. When Liam wakes up he takes him downstairs, and they both help Fiona make dinner. When he finally gets back to his phone before he goes to bed, he notices Mickey hasn’t answered him.

That’s a little strange, more often than not, he answers Ian’s texts as soon as he can. Mickey’s probably just tired from pulling Liam around in the sled all day though, Ian guesses, so he just sends one more little text.

**Goodnight :***

He falls asleep before he gets an answer, and in the morning, all he sees on his phone is a single text from Mickey, delivered around 3 a.m. “ **Night.** ”

Ian scratches his head slightly, unsure of how to reply to that in the morning. He scrolls through Facebook on his phone, pausing again to admire his new profile picture. Him and Mickey, together in a picture. Publicly on Facebook. It might be stupid, but it made him feel good, having that out there, anyone could see that they were close. It means something.

His phone is silent all day, and as he goes for a jog later on he listens to a song that makes him think about missing Mickey a little bit, and he send him a text of the lyrics, part of the game they’ve kept up since that day he was bored at the Kash & Grab.

**_“I have been trying to find him, want to give what I got. He lit a fire, but now he’s in my every thought. Where could that boy have gone?”_ **

Maybe it’s a little cheesy, but he thinks it’s sorta cute. Sometimes they send each other songs like that. Mickey never answers though, and he starts to get annoyed by that night, sending him one more text to see if he answers before he gets really agitated.

“ **Hey you, what’s up** ” They’d had a great fucking day yesterday, and now he was sort of ruining for Ian by giving him radio silence for no apparent reason...

Mickey doesn’t answer the text.

Ian gets right to the point, now pissed off, “ **Why the fuck are you ignoring me** ”.


	17. A Complete 180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian confronts Mickey about ignoring him.

Ian feels just about damn crazy when he wakes up the next morning and still sees no response from Mickey. He has an ugly feeling in his gut that something is definitely wrong now, and that it’s something _he_ did, but he has no fucking clue what that could be.

He heads downstairs just to get some coffee, his stomach is too knotted for breakfast, and sees Fiona is already whipping up some of her classic pancakes. His attention is immediately caught by the fridge behind her, a new collage of pictures from the printer now adorning it.

He swallows hard as he sees the picture of Mickey and Liam on the sled together, and Fiona notices his stare. “Liam wanted that one up. Such a great picture, isn’t it?” She turns back to the stove, not noticing how Ian gently touches the photograph.

He feels his phone vibrate in the pocket of his sweatpants and quickly yanks it out, suddenly hopeful once he sees it’s a text from Mickey.

“ **I’m busy** ”.

Ian frowns at the text, wanting to send another of his own, but also feeling slightly snubbed and like he should just ignore Mickey back for a while, see how he likes it. The _I’m busy_ line is the ultimate copout when you want to avoid someone, Ian knows that.

_But what the fuck did he do?_

He wracks his brain that night as he lays in bed, and all he can think of is that right before Mickey left the Gallagher house acting all weird, Ian had asked him to upload that picture of them together to Facebook.

Is that it? Is that the big fucking problem? He was embarrassed by that, or thought Ian was pushing him too much? Ian burns with both embarrassment and anger as he ruminates over these thoughts, that had to be it, because he was fucking fine before that. He falls asleep gritting his teeth over what an asshole Mickey is being.

He marches over to the Milkovich house the next day, not giving a damn if Mickey knows he’s coming or not. He’s not gonna send another text that he knows he won’t fucking answer.

Ian knocks at the front door aggressively, blanching just slightly when Mickey answers it, his expression catching him off guard. Mickey grimaces slightly, as if he’s in pain, as he looks at him, “What are you doing here?”

Ian feels his anger rising, despite the fact that Mickey’s tone was soft when he asked the question that Ian completely brushes off. “Why the fuck are you ignoring me?” he demands, stepping closer to the other boy, their faces only an inch apart.

Mickey’s own face reddens with a flush, now looking pissed off as well, and Ian hears Terry in the background, but he’s too angry to give a shit right now.

Mickey doesn’t answer him.

“Fine, be a little _bitch_ ” Ian spits, and he sees Mickey’s hand ball into a fist but he snaps upwards and punches him first, knocking him straight in the chin. Mickey falls backwards slightly into the door from the impact.

In every fight Ian’s ever been in, including the hundreds with his older brother, he’s learned never to take the first punch, if you can see it coming.

He is then momentarily distracted by Terry appearing behind Mickey, looking in confusion and anger at whoever had the fucking nerve to show up at his house and punch his son, but he looks even angrier as he sees who it is, and he glares at Mickey. He lifts a ham like hand to the back of Mickey’s head, and shoves him forward, “You gonna take punches from this prick like a little bitch? Maybe he’s right about you”.

He sneers, and Ian takes a blow to the face just seconds later, feeling Mickey’s fist connect with his jaw ruthlessly. He immediately throws his arm up, blocking the next punch, as Terry begins to mutter about Mickey being a goddamn useless waste of space before he leaves the doorway, heading back into the house.

Ian stares at Mickey once they are alone again, fuming, and sees Mickey’s own normally pale face is reddening with anger, and, _are those tears in his eyes?_ He drops his guard slightly at the unexpected sight, and Mickey spits, “ _Fuck off Ian_ ” before slamming the door in his face.

He stands there for another moment, before walking home like a zombie, absolutely bewildered about what had just happened. Literally, _what the fuck had happened_?

They were happy, things were good, and then a couple of days ago Mickey had done a complete 180 in just a matter of minutes.

He just doesn’t _understand_ , did that picture get Mickey in trouble with his Dad? If that was it, why didn’t he just ask him to take it down? Or is Mickey really just a fucking prick like everyone at school says, and Ian was just blind to it before…?

He is still mulling over the unknown reasons for Mickey’s anger towards him when he arrives at the house, and Fiona is waiting by the door expectantly for him. “What?” he grouses, trying to push past her into the house.

She glares at him, blocking his entrance. “We were supposed to get the food for our Christmas dinner, I told you that and you took off without even answering me. Where the fuck did you go?”

Her frown shifts slightly into a more concerned look as she continues to stare at him, “Were you in a fight?” “No” Ian says, touching his jaw gently, now feeling very subdued. He doesn’t even remember Fiona saying anything to him this morning. “Sorry… let’s go now”.

He follows Fiona around the grocery store in a daze, letting her pile multiple things into the basket he’s carrying. She tries talking to him a few times, but realizes it’s pointless after a while as she keeps having to repeat herself after he says, “Huh?” over and over again.

They finishing shopping and leave the store, and are about half way home before Fiona suddenly yells out, “Shit!” startling him out of his reverie. He jumps, and then frowns at her in annoyance, “What?”

“I left my fucking purse back there! We have to go back!” she starts to hurry back the way they had came, swearing, and Ian jogs slightly to catch up to her.

“Your shitty mood was distracting me” she complains a while later, as they start to cross the parking lot, heading towards the front entrance of the grocery store.

“Oh, it’s my fault?” he asks, annoyed. She scoffs, “Well, yeah _Ia-“_

They both stop and stare, as someone comes tearing out of the grocery store, with a frozen turkey tucked underneath their arm, clearly stealing it. 

The person is coming right towards them, blindly running, and Ian blinks as he realizes who it is, “ _Mickey?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably seems super confusing but that's the beauty of the one person POV. So we'll find out when Ian does what the fuck is going on, very soon


	18. I Need To Tell You Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After bailing Mickey out of jail, Ian demands answers. He's surprised to learn why Mickey was so upset, and tries to smooth things over.

Mickey looks at the two of them, wide eyed, and immediately shoves the turkey into one of Fiona’s mostly empty grocery bags.

Before anyone has a chance to say anything about this bizarre scenario, two security guards come running out of the store and head straight for Mickey, who tries to throw them off by dodging around one of the parked cars.

Unfortunately, with two guards, he still ends up somewhat cornered between the vehicles.

“You know this kid?” one of the guards demands, as he paces around Mickey, glaring at Fiona and Ian who are still standing there, absolutely bewildered as they watch this shitshow unfold.

“NEVER SEEN EM BEFORE IN MY FUCKIN LIFE!” Mickey quickly hollers, flipping off the guard as he does.

“ _You little shit_ … well then _why the fuck_ is there a turkey right there, _hmm_?” He points at Fiona’s bag accusingly, where the large turkey is still partially sticking out and clearly visible.

Fiona shoves the turkey farther into her bag. “Excuse me? This is my fucking turkey, I paid for it” she says, sounding utterly offended.  

It’s a South Side rule, you don’t fucking snitch.

“Well then where the fuck is his?” the guard turns and yells back, and Mickey takes advantage of this momentary distraction to leap over the dented hood of the car blocking his escape, and continue running.

“Fuck you!” he yells behind himself, as the two guards abandon Fiona and Ian to pursue him. He doesn’t get halfway through the parking lot, before a police car shows up, and between two police officers and the original two security guards, Mickey is caught.

Ian can still hear him swearing, and watches him struggle as he is thrown into the backseat of the police car roughly before they drive away with him it.

Fiona turns to him slowly, “ _What…the fuck…just happened_?” Ian is still baffled, “Fuck if I know”.

After a long moment of silence Fiona speaks again, “Well I’m keeping this turkey, we couldn’t have afforded one any other way” she says firmly.

Ian doesn’t argue, and finally comes back into his senses. He has to go see Mickey. “Fine, look, I’m gonna go to the police station, you go get your purse ok?” He tries to hand her his bags but she argues with him, “No, I can’t carry all this stuff by myself! You want to eat, you help carry the groceries”.

Ian groans, pulling his wallet out of his pocket, “Here” he hands her a ten-dollar bill. “Take a cab, then you don’t have to carry anything”. She accepts the preferable deal happily, “Alright!

Ian watches for a moment, as his sister dumps the heavy bags into a grocery cart and heads back into the grocery store to get her purse, and then he breaks into a steady jog towards the police station. He’s well acquainted with it’s location, due to several less than legal Gallagher family habits.

It takes him about twenty-five minutes to get there, and regardless of his good physical fitness, he’s huffing slightly when he arrives at the front counter.

“Mickey Milkovich?” he asks breathlessly, as soon as the police officer looks up at him from behind his computer.

“Turkey kid?” he asks. Ian nods.

The officer, who’s badge says Officer Rawlins, shrugs, “He’s in holding”.  Ian pants, “He’s seventeen, you have to either charge him or let him go”.

The police officer smirks, “You his lawyer? Listen, he’s on camera stealing it and he won’t admit to it, so we’re gonna keep him”. Ian tries to keep calm, “You’re gonna arrest a poor kid, for stealing a turkey, at Christmas. Are you fucking serious?”

Rawlins sighs, “Listen kid, I don’t want to be sitting here filling out paperwork for another petty theft either. But the grocery store says he’s a repeat offender, and from our other files on him here, that’s very likely true”.

Ian wracks his brain, “What…what if I pay for it? I’ll pay for it, you can give the cash to the manager, and then you can let him go. It won’t be stolen anymore”.

The officer purses his lips thoughtfully, “Well… I suppose that would be fine. As long as they are compensated for it. It’s 27 dollars though”. Ian just about drops his wallet, “For a goddamn bird? Fuck…”

He flips through his wallet and practically empties it, and he’s only got a few dollars left when he’s done, between that and the money he gave Fiona for a cab. The officer counts the cash out carefully and puts it in an envelope that he scribbles something onto, “Alright, wait here”.

Ian bites his lip as he waits, and Mickey is led out from the holding area about five minutes later, looking extremely pissed off. He doesn’t say a word to Ian as they leave, who waves his appreciation to Officer Rawlins as he hurries out the door after Mickey.

As soon as they are outside, Ian puts a hand out in front of Mickey’s chest to stop him from going any further, completely expecting him to just shove through and keep going, but he doesn’t. He stops.

He doesn’t look up, but Ian sees his face is more scratched than he remembered it being this morning, and he’s dirtier than usual too. 

“What the fuck is going on with you?” Ian demands, “Why have you been acting, for the past _few fucking days_ , like I don’t fucking _exist_?”

His voice almost breaks at the last word, and as Mickey finally looks up directly into his eyes, the look in them is cold enough to make Ian shiver. “ _Who’s Josh?_ ” he spits, shaking with anger.

Ian takes a step back, absolutely surprised by the question, “What… how did you…?”

Mickey clenches his jaw, “I fucking knew it! FUCK!” He balls his hand into a fist, and Ian flinches as his hand comes flying past him and smashes into the metal parking sign beside him, Mickey apparently choosing at the last second to hit the metal sign instead of him, his hand begins to bleed from the impact.

Ian waves his own hands uselessly to try and get Mickey to calm down as he tries to figure out what to say, but he’s just so fucking confused, “I don’t know _how_ or _what_ you think you fucking know, but-“

Mickey lowers his voice, his face creasing into harsh lines as he splutters, “ _You- you-_ _fuck you_ Ian! Make me think I’m your fucking _boyfriend_ or something while you go out and fuck other guys!” Mickey stalks away from him angrily, and reaches the sidewalk before Ian snaps out of his shock, and runs after him, grabbing Mickey’s arm to stop him.

Mickey looks close to tears now, like he’s in shock himself after his outburst, and Ian quickly takes advantage of his stupor to pull him into the bus stop beside of them for some more privacy, as he tries to explain.

Mickey blinks quickly as he looks around himself and realizes he is no longer on the sidewalk in front of the police station. Ian looks directly into his eyes, trying to show how earnest he is, even through his distress, “Mick I didn’t…I _haven’t_ fucked _anyone_ , since I’ve been with you. Not since that day at Oak Forest”.

 _“_ Fucking liar” Mickey immediately hisses back, Ian taking a few steps away from his harshness.

“You got a nice fucking message from _Josh_ while you had me on your phone uploading a picture of **US** to your fucking Facebook so everyone can see that Mickey Milkovich _is a fucking bitch_ for you! You show that pic to everyone on your fucking hookup app too, have a nice laugh?”

He laughs bitterly at his ugly joke. Ian’s face pales as he realizes that he thinks he knows what the fuck Mickey is actually upset about, and rightfully so, even though it’s just a big fucking misunderstanding.

“Mickey, _you have this all wrong_ ”, he pleads, “I haven’t used that app to hook up with anyone since the summer. I should have deleted it, but I didn’t, I didn’t even think of it”.

“Give me your fucking phone” Mickey snarls, and Ian hesitates as he hands it over, feeling like Mickey is going to smash it into the ground. Instead, he swipes quickly through the folders on Ian’s phone and pulls up the Grindr app, and then his conversation with Josh, and shows it to him. 

Ian looks back up from the screen without reading it, remembering that day very clearly, he doesn’t need a reminder, “I didn’t go through with it! I was upset, I was being fucking stupid and I was _upset_ after you turned me down, but we weren’t even together then!” Ian says, his voice strangled.

The look Mickey gives him next is so venomous that he feels angry himself again, repeating, “We weren’t together then…you’re being ridiculous”.

“Keep lying to me Ian, see what happens. I broke all my fucking rules for you, asshole. And if you didn’t fucking go through with it, then why did he send this to you a few days ago?” Mickey says, his voice like stone as he turns the phone screen back towards Ian.

Ian scans the screen with his eyes quickly, seeing a message on ‘read’ that he had never opened, because Mickey would have had his phone when the notification was delivered.

 **From:** _Josh, 18_.

“ **Hey you, how bout we go for round 2? ;) I think we can do a lot better this time lol** ”

 

Mickey had apparently replied with, “ **Kill yourself** ” to which Josh had never answered.

Ian slaps his hand to his forehead, “Oh… God, no. No. Mickey, I honestly think that he was drunk when he sent that to me, and I obviously never saw it. Just… just listen to me. That night at the dugout, after you ran away from me, I was fucking upset, and angry. I opened this stupid app, that I’m deleting _right now_ ”, he tips the phone towards Mickey to show him, who sniffs slightly as he watches the app disappear from Ian’s screen.

“And looked for someone to help me forget about you. And yes, I went to his house”, he admits, regretfully.

Mickey suddenly looks up to the sky, and Ian can’t see his eyes anymore.

He quickly continues, “But I didn’t go through with it. I didn’t even _kiss him_ , I swear to fucking _God_ , Mickey. That’s why he said we could do a lot better. It wouldn’t be hard to, because I didn’t do _anything_ the first time. When I was there with him, I realized that all I wanted was you”.

Mickey finally pulls his eyes away from the grey sky and back onto him, his guard now obviously lowered. He searches Ian’s face to see if he can find any hint of a lie as Ian stands there somberly, letting him look.

“All I want _is_ you” Ian adds sadly.

Mickey rubs one hand down his face, blinking rapidly, “That was before we were together? And you didn’t fuck him? You aren’t using that app to fuck other guys now?”

“ _No_ ” he answers weakly, his voice breaking.

Mickey pinches the bridge of his nose, and Ian feels himself fighting tears just as hard as the other boy clearly is.

“FUCK!” Mickey suddenly yells out, jamming his bleeding hand over his eyes to cover them, “I’m sorry” he chokes out. “I’m so fucking sorry, I _hit_ you… I fucking _ignored_ you, I thought…”

Ian swallows hard, shaking his head vigorously as he interrupts him, his voice is thick “ _I’M_ sorry! I’m sorry I hit you first, if I had any fucking idea what was going on in your head… fuck, _I’m_ -”

Mickey yanks his battered hand away from his eyes, and quickly covers Ian’s lips with his fingers, “ _Shut up_ , shut the fuck up”.

His blue eyes are still glazed with tears, but he looks like he’s fighting something other than his previous emotions now, and as his voice grows quiet, Ian begins to worry.

“I need to tell you something Ian”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! I'm all about the cliffhangers today, idk why. Anyways you guys are awesome, love the comments and kudos <3


	19. Well What The Fuck Do We Do Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey bravely takes the next step in their relationship, which makes Ian feel safe enough to do the same. They solidify their relationship further in private.

Ian swallows hard, preparing himself for what Mickey’s about to say to him.

Of course Mickey would have gone out and fucked somebody else, if thought he’d been cheating on him, Ian thinks miserably. He would have done the same fucking thing.

He wishes he could go back in time, have Mickey tell him what was wrong before he reacted to it, hell, he'd go back to the fucking day he messaged Josh first and get rid of that stupid fucking app instead.

He watches silently, blinking back tears, as Mickey takes several deep breaths to steady himself, his chest heaving as he lowers his hand away from Ian’s mouth and down to his chest, before pulling it away entirely. He’s clearly steeling himself now, clenching his teeth before he says whatever he has to fucking say, and he can’t even look Ian in the eyes beforehand.

Ian wants to ask, _“how bad is it?”_   but he can’t, he’s pretty sure he can’t say anything at all right now, without his fucking voice breaking. How could he get around this? Knowing Mickey was with someone else? Just the thought of it made him feel sick. 

Mickey finally stops pacing nervously around the bus station, and stands still in front of Ian. He nods his head slowly, as if to reassure himself, before he raises it to look Ian directly in the eyes.

Ian searches each of his blue eyes sadly, waiting to hear what he knew would fucking kill him to hear, and then he closes his own eyes, thinking maybe it will hurt less if he doesn’t actually _see_ Mickey saying it.

He hears Mickey let out a rush of air, here it comes…

“I fucking _love you_ , alright?”

Ian opens his eyes, blinking rapidly in disbelief. He stares at the boy in front of him, not comprehending what he _thinks_ he might have heard, because Mickey Milkovich, would never, “ _You_ …?”

“I love you” Mickey repeats quietly. And then, running his fingers over his own bleeding knuckles, “I’m _in love_ with you”.  

Ian grips his red hair, “What?” he chokes out, bewildered, as he stares at the other boy.  Mickey looks so vulnerable right now, like he just handed Ian a loaded gun and now he’s pointing it right back at him, and Ian scrambles to gather his thoughts.

Mickey speaks again before he has a chance to. “I know you probably don’t feel the same fucking way. Especially after how I’ve been acting the past couple days, the past few days, like such a fucking asshole, but… I’ll do anything, to fix…” Mickey trails off, staring at the ground now, his sad eyes still pooling.

Ian finally manages to find his croaky voice, “I fucking _love you too._ I just didn’t think, you would actually feel the same way” he breathes, staring at the dark-haired boy across from him in a new light.

Mickey quickly looks up in disbelief, “You do?”

Ian’s shoulders sink weakly, “ _Yeah_ , Mick… I’m in love with you”.

“Fuck”, Mickey says quietly, brushing his hand over his eyes roughly as Ian does the same.

He then asks a little more strongly, as he looks around, like maybe he'll find an answer here among the graffiti and initials scratched into the metal and glass of the bus shelter, “Well, what the fuck do we do now?”

“I don’t know” Ian answers numbly, his breath showing in the cold air, “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before”. Mickey laughs but it's not a very humorous one, “Well I haven’t either, so how the fuck do we know that’s what this even is?”

Ian shakes his head firmly as he thinks about it, “I know… because I’ve never felt like this before. Fuck, I just know”, Mickey nodding in agreement as he speaks, “Yeah…I haven’t either”.

Ian looks up at him, the weight of the past few days now rapidly lifting from his shoulders, “What we do now? We go home, we find somewhere we can be alone, and you let me kiss you, and make up for these past few shit days”.

Mickey tips his head, gazing back at him with a look that Ian’s actually seen several times on him before, and just never recognized it for what it was.

Love.

“I can do that”.

As they walk home together, Mickey remembers and turns to him, saying sincerely, “Thanks for bailing me out back there, after I was such a fucking asshole, surprised you did”.

Ian shakes his head to show it was nothing, “Well I could tell something was fucking wrong, and technically it wasn’t bail, you’re still a juvenile. I just paid for the turkey”.

Mickey laughs, “Well it’s all the same, thanks man”.  Ian does admit though, rather disappointingly, “I spent all the money I was saving to get you a Christmas present on it though, so I’m not gonna have anything for you. Hope that’s okay”.

Mickey looks over at him incredulously, “Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t spend your money on me Ian, seriously, I don’t need anything”. Ian quickly glances around the empty street, before he reaches over to squeeze Mickey’s hand briefly, “I _wanted_ to get you something”.

“Just be with me, that’s all I want” Mickey says quietly, and Ian fights to urge to just kiss him right then and there, even as someone pulls into the street in their red Sedan.

“Why would you even take the damn thing?” Ian finally asks in confusion, adding, “Fiona said she’s keeping it by the way”.

“The turkey?” Mickey asks, “Uh, well, not all of these are from you Private Ryan” he says teasingly, pointing at the fresh wounds on his face. “I was sort of getting it for someone else”.

Ian doesn’t find that funny though, and instead feels his jaw clench in irritation, “ _Your dad_ made you go and steal your fucking Christmas dinner? He couldn’t just be the fucking degenerate that he is and go get it himself? No offence” he adds quickly, seeing Mickey raise his eyebrow at the degenerate part.

“He’s away now until tomorrow, visiting my aunt, so he said I had to. And it’s whatever, can we fucking drop this please? Not like I don’t already steal shit anyways” Mickey says, and his warning tone does make Ian drop it, although he does so reluctantly.

After a moment of silence, Mickey suddenly looks over at him thoughtfully, like he’s just remembered something, as he pulls his cellphone out of his coat pocket, “You busy tonight?”

Ian shakes his head no and raises his eyebrows curiously, but his unspoken questioned is answered as the person Mickey is calling answers their phone. He can’t hear her, but he can tell Mickey is talking to his sister Mandy.

“Hey, are you gonna stay at Viv’s tonight?” He pauses and listens to whatever Mandy is saying, impatiently, “It doesn’t matter _why_ , just answer the damn question”.

Mandy apparently continues to argue because Mickey adds, “Cause I’m having a fucking girl over, that’s why!” He looks over at Ian sheepishly, who tries not to chuckle.

“So unless you wanna hear us bangin all night, I suggest you stay there”. Ian shoves his fist against his mouth to keep from laughing, and Mickey finally gives him a thumbs up.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll deal with him then. Bye”.

Ian chuckles at him as he hangs up his phone, “Having a girl over? Nice save Mick”.

Mickey rolls his eyes, “It worked, didn’t it? Besides, if _you_ were a girl, I wouldn’t be gay” he winks, and then adds, “So you wanna stay over tonight? We don’t actually have to bang all night, I was just trying to get her to fuck off. We can cuddle and shit if you want”.

Ian grins, “Was I just invited to a sleepover?” Mickey presses his lips together and then laughs, “Fuck you is what you were invited to”.

Ian sticks his tongue out at him playfully, and Mickey tips his dark head somewhat gently towards him once he’s done laughing, “But yeah. I wanted to, you know, be with you tonight, after we said all that stuff”.

 

Ian sends Fiona a text to let her know he’ll be back home tomorrow for Christmas Eve, as they arrive at the empty Milkovich house. It’s dark inside, silent, and Mickey flips on a few light switches to brighten the place up after he carefully locks the front door, adding the chain lock as well. “Case Mandy changes her mind or something, I have to come let her in” he explains.

Smart. Ian wanders off to Mickey’s room while Mickey heads into the kitchen. He pushes the door open past the **_STAY THE FUCK OUT_** sign, and raises his ginger eyebrows in surprise as he looks around the bedroom.

Mickey had clearly trashed the place, punched a hole in the wall, and there were several empty Jack Daniel’s bottles scattered on the floor. He turns to look at Mickey somewhat guiltily as he enters the room behind him, “Uh… I was kind of upset” Mickey says, scratching his head in embarrassment.

Ian helps him pick up the whiskey bottles and straighten up his room a bit, “I would have been too” he says as he does, trying to make Mickey feel better.

It seems to work, because Mickey says after a while, more cheerfully, “That song you sent me, I didn’t answer because I thought, you know, he’s texting me this shit while he’s out fucking other guys, but…”

He then seems unsure of how to finish his sentence, so Ian tries.

 “…But now that you know I wasn’t, you like it?” Mickey nods, slightly embarrassed again, “I mean it’s cheesy as hell, but yeah I kind of do. I’m just, I don’t know. I’m really fucking happy that you feel the same way”.

Ian walks over to him and holds Mickey’s face in his hands, giving him a long and slow kiss. “Of course I do”.

Mickey smiles up at him, relief once more appearing in his blue eyes, “Okay. Why don’t we order a pizza for dinner, and then after we eat you can get to all that kissing and making up for shit you promised back at the police station”.

As much as he likes the suggestion, Ian bites his lip, “I don’t have enough money left to split Mick”.

Mickey punches his shoulder playfully, “Ian, don’t be stupid. You think I’m not gonna pay for my boyfriend’s pizza after he bailed me out of jail?” He steps back and laughs, but stops when he notices Ian staring at him. “What?”

He beams, “You called me your boyfriend”.

Mickey glances around the room uncertainly, his mouth slightly open, “That’s… what you are, aren’t you?”

Ian grins, nodding, “Just like hearing you finally say it”. Mickey rolls his eyes, but he glances back at Ian affectionately before he starts to leave his room to order the pizza.

Ian calls after him to confirm, “So we’re-“

Mickey, without looking back, answers before he even has a chance to finish his sentence.

“Together”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh!!! 
> 
> Btw, Sorry for being a dick and freaking everyone out at the end of the last chapter haha


	20. 4:27 A.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian make up for the days spent angry at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Some quick notes. 
> 
> 1) I have finally written out the general story arc, so I know where this fic is headed (yay!) but there’s a lot of material to be written. Because of this, I was wondering if I should split it into two separate parts of one series, or keep it in one with a ton of chapters? Any thoughts? 
> 
> 2) Because I write leaving things open ended at times, and we are all traumatized by Shameless writers, there’s been a lot of concern at several chapters that there will be a repeat of Mickey and Ian being caught, and Mickey being subsequently raped. This will NOT happen in my fic, I promise. The conflict in my stories will not go to that extent. Remember, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. :)
> 
> 3) I made a YouTube! And my first video ties in with the lyrics on Mickey’s wall. It’s about Ian sort of being a protector/savior for Mickey’s dark life, even from himself, in the beginning. So please watch the whole thing :) I plan to make more happy ones but my shitty software has been crashing non-stop so who knows. Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKKF3IWobXo
> 
> Alright that’s it, back to the fic, enjoy! This chapter is rated explicit/romantic ;)

 “Ian! _Pizza!”_ Ian hears Mickey call, and he stretches slightly on the other boy’s bed before getting up. It’d been such a crazy day, and he hadn’t slept well for the past couple while he’d been having a rough patch with Mickey, so he’d laid down and passed out while Mickey was ordering the pizza, who must have let him sleep until it got here.

He finds Mickey with the pizza in the kitchen, who offers him a cold beer as he appears, “Hey sleepy head”.

Ian grimaces at his slightly mangled and outstretched hand as he takes the beer from him, “Jesus Mick, that looks bad”.

The hand Mickey had punched the metal parking sign with was bruising purple and black over his knuckles and tattoos, and although he’d stopped bleeding, the dried blood made the whole thing look worse.

Mickey just shrugs and takes a swig of his beer, but Ian puts his own down, and takes Mickey by the wrist, gently.

“C’mon, let me clean it”.

“I’m fine Ian”, Mickey argues, but he winces as Ian leads him into the bathroom by the wrist.

Ian turns on the sink faucet, and makes sure the water isn’t too hot before he puts Mickey’s hand underneath the stream to rinse off the blood. He pats it dry when it’s clean, with a questionably stained hand towel, and then digs around until he finds a very old first aid kit under the sink. Everything’s probably expired, but it’s better than nothing, he figures.

He puts some hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball, and pauses before he touches Mickey with it, “This might hurt”.

Mickey laughs at his warning, and takes a sip of his beer, but he almost chokes on it when Ian starts to dab at his knuckles with the burning antiseptic, “Fuck Ian!”

“Look, see it bubbling! It was gonna get infected Mickey” Ian insists, and Mickey grouses but takes another drink of his beer, using it to wash down the two Advils that Ian hands him next.

His mood improves considerably as Ian finishes his first aid and lets him take the box of pizza over to the couch. Mickey digs through a pile of what looks like mostly stolen DVD’s in a box on the floor, before selecting one and holding it up for Ian’s approval, “John Wick?”

Ian shrugs, “Sure, haven’t seen it”. He watches as Mickey shoves the DVD into the player and then steps back, and he moves to make room beside himself on the couch.

“I’m fucking starving” Mickey complains, dropping down onto the couch and grabbing a slice of pizza from the box. Ian himself is as hungry as he is tired, and that’s very.

They are both pretty quiet as they watch the movie, content to just be near each other while they eat, until the cute puppy is killed by the Russian mobsters.

Ian looks over at Mickey, slightly annoyed by the upsetting scene, “Jesus, a heads up would have been nice”.

Mickey raises his eyebrow at him, “Sorry, seen worse though. That really bother you…? C’mere”.

Ian moves the pizza box off of the couch and comes over to Mickey’s outstretched arm, resting his head against the other boy’s chest sleepily.

When Mickey gently pushes him awake again, he sees the end credits of the movie have finished rolling, he’d fallen asleep less than halfway through it.

“Hey” Mickey says gently, “Let’s go to my room”. Ian nods tiredly, but asks “Can I borrow a toothbrush?”

Mickey grins, “That’s gross” but he lets him anyways, and they both use the bathroom at the same time to get ready for bed.

Mickey hands him a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in, that Ian takes gratefully, even though the sweatpants are a little short on his longer legs. His own clothes were dirty, and smelled like sweat after the significantly stressful day. Mickey changes too, and then gets into his bed and lays against the wall to make room for him.

He crawls in beside Mickey and faces him, feeling slightly more awake now, he notices some smaller writing on the wall behind Mickey. He reaches over the other boy and traces over the words that had been carved into the wall, that hadn’t been there the last time he had visited.

**_Can you save my heavy dirty soul?_ **

Ian draws away from the wall and gazes down at Mickey, who is laying on his side and looking quietly back up at him. His injured hand is resting carefully on the bed in front of him, his face is littered with small cuts and scrapes, and even though he looks perfectly content now, Ian’s heart feels heavy as he looks at him.

He carefully picks up Mickey’s injured hand and presses his mouth to it, expecting Mickey to complain, but he doesn’t. He just swallows hard, from emotion, not pain. Seeing that it doesn’t hurt him, Ian moves Mickey’s entire arm behind his back so he can move in closer, until his chest is pressed against the other boy’s. Both of them sigh in contentment from the warmth and intimacy, and Ian gives Mickey one last tender kiss before he closes his heavy eyes.

He’s still somewhere between states of consciousness several minutes later as he feels Mickey begin to stroke his hair with his uninjured hand gently, and he can’t remember ever feeling more safe or comfortable.

Until he hears Mickey whisper quietly, right before he gives in to sleep’s alluring weight, “ _I love you so much Ian_ ”.

 

When he wakes up again, it’s still dark out, and he turns his head slightly to glance at the digital clock on the shelf above Mickey’s bed.

**4:27 a.m.**

He gets up very carefully, placing Mickey’s arm back down on the bed gently so he doesn’t wake him, and goes to take a piss. When he gets back, Mickey’s awake now anyways, silently watching him come back to bed in the dark.

Ian slides back into the bed beside him, no longer tired, and feels his heart pound more heavily in his chest as his face comes to about an inch away from the other boy’s. Sometimes, Mickey just has this effect on him, this pull, that is indescribable, and it turns him on immediately.

Closer now, he can hear Mickey breathing shakily with arousal too, and he closes the gap between them to press his lips to the other boy’s, who leans forward into it.

He wants Mickey so badly, wants to find comfort in his body, and he moves his lips away from his soft mouth to his hot neck, tracing it with kisses. Mickey mumbles something incoherent, and the two of them shift upwards onto the bed a minute later, Ian moving over Mickey slowly as he gently lifts the other boy’s shirt up.

They are both already hard, but he wants to take his time, and enjoy every minute with his boyfriend, both of them needing some reassurance from the other after the past few unsteady days. Neither of them says a single word as he lowers his mouth down to Mickey’s chest, and caresses it. He moves very slowly down towards his stomach, feeling Mickey’s ab muscles react underneath his gentle touch.

Mickey waits for a few moments before he reaches up and tries to pull Ian’s shirt off with his one hand that isn’t hurting him, and Ian stops what he is doing to help him toss it to the floor, before returning to his exploration of Mickey’s body in the dark.

He pulls down the elastic waistband of Mickey’s black sweatpants with his fingers just enough to kiss the other boy’s hipbones, who lets out a light groan in response. Ian wants to love him, not tease him, so he pulls down the sweatpants more, lowering his mouth down over the other boy’s erection once it’s exposed.

He gently glides his mouth up and down for a while, before he fights over his gag reflex, and takes Mickey entirely, the tip of his nose pressing against the other boy’s pubic hair, as he breathes in Mickey’s scent. He feels an appreciative and damp hand reach down to the side of his face, and then run its strong fingers through his red hair.

He continues to work Mickey’s hard-on with his mouth for another minute or two, humming into it, until Mickey’s strong arms reach down towards him and pull him upwards insistently, although he’s clearly avoiding using his one hand more than is necessary.

Mickey pulls Ian right up to his mouth and kisses him desperately, both of them cradling the back of the other boy’s head to hold him impossibly closer. Mickey starts to struggle underneath him to pull off his sweatpants, and Ian lifts his body just long to take off his own and toss them to the ground too, before returning to his boyfriend’s lips. He breathes out shakily into the other boy’s mouth, and then turns his head away for just a moment to wet his fingers with his mouth, Mickey watching him through hooded eyes.

As soon as Ian removes his fingers from his own mouth, Mickey presses back into it, his wet tongue darting back in and finding Ian’s. Ian focuses on the heated rhythm of their exploring tongues, as he lowers his hand down to prep Mickey with his fingers.

It takes Mickey a while to relax, his muscles contracting tightly around each finger Ian inserts, but Ian feels his erection leaking slightly against his stomach, as he leans over the other boy, and when Mickey hands him a condom from his shelf, he knows that he’s ready.

The house, quiet except for the sounds of their heavy breathing and small intimate sounds of need, lets them find safety in each others bodies as Mickey lets Ian push inside of him, slowly and carefully, drawing another long and slow groan from his throat.

All Ian wants is to make Mickey feel good, translate _how much_ he cares, how much he _loves him_ …

They’ve never really made love before, hell _he’s_ never made love before, and he’s not really sure he knows what it means. Bu then he has no doubt that’s what this is, as he gently rocks his hips against Mickey’s, pushing deeper inside of him.

Mickey reaches his tattooed hands upwards to hold on behind Ian’s neck, who lowers back down wordlessly to kiss his stomach again, that is still beautifully pale even in the dark, appreciating it while the rest of Chicago is sleeping.

After Ian lavishes the other boy’s stomach in affection, he stretches back out over him as he was before. With their chests pressed together, he can feel every muscle in Mickey’s body tensing as he arches into him over and over again with a building fervor.

Ian had closed his eyes, as it was quite dark in the room anyways, but he feels a sudden urge to look down into Mickey’s blues, and they flicker open again.

Mickey is already looking directly into his own green ones, like he’d been waiting patiently for this.

Ian looks down at Mickey’s face, even in the dark, he thinks he could describe the other boy to any stranger perfectly.

He could tell you about his strong and angular, but still slightly rounded, face, that can give him an inappropriate appearance of innocence at times. About the light shadow of facial hair that he didn’t allow to grow, but that still served as a faint reminder of his approaching adulthood. He would mention his perfectly pointed nose, above full lips that looked so sweet, you wouldn’t believe the obscenities that would pour from them so easily at times. And he would tell you about those dark and arching eyebrows, that displayed his emotions as clearly as the stunning eyes below them did. Those eyes, he would tell you, protected only by dark lashes, hold an ocean of blue emotions, always just below the surface.

Ian feels a little emotional himself, as he thinks of all of these things about his lover while he looks down at him, and he knows what Mickey is waiting for.

He lowers his lips down to the other boy’s ear, pressing them into a gentle kiss before telling him quietly, “ _I love you. I love you, I love you…”_

He feels Mickey’s back arch immediately upwards from the mattress as he moans out in response, “ _I fucking love you Ian_ ”.

His erection digs into Ian’s stomach just once more before he begins to cum, and Ian cries out shakily against Mickey’s shoulder as he joins him in ecstasy, releasing deep inside of his tight warmth.

They stay where they are for a long moment, before Ian draws backwards to pull out of his lover slowly, tying the filled condom with a knot to seal it before dropping it to the floor. As he looks back at Mickey, still naked, he sees him now holding his injured hand awkwardly away from his body.

“Let me get you some more Advil” Ian murmurs, Mickey nodding back at him complacently.

He brings back two more of the small red pills from the washroom, and a glass of water, both of which Mickey takes gratefully, after the previous dose had clearly worn off. He shoves the empty glass onto the shelf above his bed haphazardly when he’s done, and then curls into the slightly rumpled bed contentedly as Ian climbs back in beside him.

He pulls the red blanket back up over them and then wraps his arms around Mickey, holding him carefully close, as they drift back into a peaceful sleep.


	21. Hundred Fucking Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and his family celebrate Christmas Eve when he returns from Mickey's house.

 

I made a Video Trailer for Two Friend Like Us! :) I think it's pretty cute. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UirOfBlLi7I  
Watch it and let me know what you think? :)

****

Ian wakes up to the feeling of soft warm breath drifting across his bare chest. As he looks down, he realizes Mickey must haven fallen asleep there at some point during the night after he had rolled onto his back. He smiles down at him for a moment before he lifts a hand to Mickey’s dark hair, running his fingers through it gently.

“Mmmm” Mickey makes a small sleepy sound as he begins to stir in response to Ian’s touch, his eyebrows arching. “I can’t stay all morning” Ian says gently, “Your family’s coming back today”.

Mickey scrunches his mouth into a grimace as he opens his eyes “Thanks for the fuckin reminder”.

Ian smiles at him apologetically, “Sorry”. He slaps Mickey’s shoulder playfully when he still doesn’t make a move to get up, “Wakey wakey”.

“Do you not see my open fucking eyes? I’m awake”, Mickey grins, stretching his arms upwards. “Just checkin” Ian teases, poking him in the ribs.

Mickey crawls over him to get off the bed, swatting his hand away. “We probably have time to make breakfast” he says thoughtfully, looking at the digital clock on the shelf above his bed.

Ian hesitates and Mickey offers “Or, we could go out and get breakfast”. Ian nods, “Probably safer”.

He stops Mickey before he opens the front door, once they are dressed and ready to head out.

“Wait”. He closes his eyes and gives the other boy a long kiss before they have to enter back into the façade they put on for the rest of Chicago to see. Mickey touches his fingers gently before he steps back, and pulls open the from door, both of them blinking at the brightness of the snow that greets their eyes.

Ian huffs slightly in the cold air, and pauses in confusion when they reach the end of the walkway to the Milkovich house, and Mickey heads in a different direction than the closest breakfast joint. Mickey glances back at him, “We have to take the El and go farther away from our neighborhood”.

Ian shrinks slightly, remembering, “Oh, right. Right”. Even if they don’t do anything to show they are a couple, it still might seem a little weird if they are just getting breakfast alone, he considers. It’s definitely a pain in the ass to have to travel just to get some scrambled eggs though.

At least the train is warm, he thinks, as he gently knocks his knees together in boredom while the train zooms past several stops. Still, he’s content being near Mickey even in moments like this.

Mickey finally stands up six stops away from the one closest to their neighborhood, and Ian follows his lead, shuffling back outside into the cold. “Cora’s is good” Mickey says, licking his lips as he squints at the sign down the street, once they reach the sidewalk.

He smokes a cigarette outside, while Ian goes in first and gets them a table. “Hey sunshine” the waitress says, smiling at him. He looks up into her friendly and rosy face, “Just waiting for my friend”. He tips his head outside towards where Mickey is standing, smoke curling from his mouth. “But can we get two coffees to start?”

“Sure thing”.

Mickey finishes his smoke and comes inside as she disappears into the back of the empty diner. “You order yet?” he asks, glancing down at the menu in front of his own seat. Ian hesitates, “No…”

He still feels bad that he doesn’t have any money of his own to pay for anything, and makes a mental note to ask Kash for some extra shifts. He’ll have to, to be able to pay for his part of the next electricity bill.

Mickey frowns at him, reading him like an open book. “Don’t worry about me spending money on you, seriously. Makes me feel like shit. Order whatever the hell you want”.

The waitress comes back over and places two coffees in front of them, “This your friend, sunshine?” She smiles at Mickey and then adds, “What can I get ya?”

Mickey looks at her uncertainly, and then down at the menu, “Uh… the Rise and Shine. That come with extra bacon or whatever?” She nods and then looks over at Ian, who hands his menu to her, “Same please”.

As soon as she walks away Mickey looks at him with his eyebrow raised, “Sunshine…you know her?” Ian shakes his head, “No. People just talk to me like that sometimes, have since I was little. Not sure why”.

Mickey grins, “It’s cause your all… red haired, and happy, and bright. I don’t know”. He blushes slightly as Ian starts to laugh at his attempt to describe him, “Mickey everyone talks to little kids that way, but yeah, now maybe it’s the red hair”.

Mickey shakes his head, “No they don’t Ian. Soon as I walked into a store they’d turn to my dad and say, Hey Terry, you better keep Mickey from pissing on anything this time or you can’t come back in here”.

Ian chuckles, “That was a thing with you when you were little, wasn’t it? I think I remember you pissing on first base back in Little League. I’m pretty sure I was on your team”.

Mickey grins, “Yeah that’s how I mark my territory”. “Better not piss on me” Ian warns, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Thanks for the idea” Mickey winks, and after Ian sticks out his tongue at him playfully in response, they both happily turn their attentions back to their hot cups of coffee.

Ian takes out his phone to catch up on some Facebook notifications as they both fall into a comfortable silence, and passing over his profile picture, he looks up thoughtfully at Mickey, who notices, “What?”

He bites his lip, “You know, I thought before that maybe you were mad or whatever, because I made my profile picture that pic of us”.

Mickey stares at him as if he’s stupid, and he shrugs apologetically, “I didn’t know what else it could be”. “Why would I be mad at that?” Mickey asks incredulously, “I… love that picture”.

Ian blushes, “I do too”. “I’m not really big on that social media bullshit or anything Ian, but I’ve pulled open my Facebook like a hundred fucking times just to look at it. Even when I was mad at you”, Mickey admits, closing his mouth as the waitress returns with their plates.

Ian wants to say more to that, a lot more, but he contents himself with just digging into his warm breakfast as Mickey does the same.

“You know, we probably could have just eaten back closer to home” he says gently, as they begin to finish up.

Mickey nods, “Yeah, probably. I don’t know, I’m just overthinking shit I guess. Sorry”.

Ian shakes his head, “Don’t be sorry. I was just thinking, everyone already knows we’re best friends, so it’s not really that crazy that we would hang out. I really don’t think that anything about either of us”- he glances down at Mickey’s FUCK U-UP tattoos as he lowers his voice, “screams, we’re gay for each other!”

Mickey snorts as he lays out some bills and change on the table for the waitress, “I don’t know Ian, sometimes you make me scream, in a pretty gay fuckin way”.

Ian grins at the dirty joke, and slings his arm around Mickey as they get up to leave the diner.

They take the El back home, but Ian really doesn’t want to say goodbye, once Mickey walks him back home first and prepares to leave.

“Maybe you could stay here tonight?” he asks, hopefully.

Mickey gives him a reassuring look, “I’ll be fine Ian. He’s gonna be plastered tonight anyways. Plus, I should be with Mandy you know, it is Christmas”. Ian nods, feeling a little guilty for forgetting about Mandy.

“Okay, well, will you come over tomorrow? I don’t think anyone here would mind”.

Mickey brightens “Yeah, course I will”, he pulls out a cigarette for his walk home, “Have fun with your family Ian”. He turns and Ian lifts one hand to say goodbye before he heads into his own house.

The Gallagher house is warm, with cheery Christmas tunes playing as he steps inside, and the smells of Christmas dinner already greeting him. Liam comes running over and gives him a hug as soon as he sees him.

“Hey! You ready for Santa?” Ian asks him, rubbing his back. Liam nods and then looks behind him, “Is Mickey coming?”

Ian’s heart softens, “Um, tomorrow Liam. He’s gotta be with his own family today”. Liam nods quietly, a more standard form of communication for him, and Ian heads into the kitchen.

Fiona beams at him as soon as she sees him, “I will have to get that Milkovich kid a damn thank you card or something, look at the size of that fucking thing!” She points to the oven with her gloved hand, and Ian grins at the sight of the turkey inside. It’s true, it would stretch for a couple meals in the Gallagher home.

Lip comes down into the kitchen from upstairs just then, and Fiona’s face gets more serious as she sees him. Lip tips his head at her expectantly.  

“What?” he asks anxiously, looking between them. Lip scratches the back of his neck, “Uh, well, Frank and Monica called. They want to do a get together tomorrow”.

Ian frowns at the mention of their parents. Monica had stepped out on all of her kids long ago, and Frank had joined her in just the past year. To be honest though, it was a relief that he was gone now too. The Gallagher kids always did better on their own.

“You said no, right?” he asks apprehensively. “Well here’s the thing” Fiona starts, “Yes, _we_ don’t want to see them. But we have to consider the rest of the kids…maybe they should see their parents on Christmas Day”.

He glances at his older brother, annoyed, “And you agree with that?” Lip shrugs, “I don’t know Ian, honestly. Frank said Monica was doing well, she’s been on her meds for a while now I guess”. Ian shakes his head firmly, “No. We can’t risk exposing them to their bullshit again”.

“Ian, we waited to get your opinion on it, but you’re outnumbered here. It’s just for an hour or two, a short visit. We had our years with them, but they didn’t” Fiona tries to reason with him.

He raises his voice this time, “And look what it fucking did to us! I’m not… letting them see the kids, until I see for myself that they are okay”.

Lip and Fiona look at each other thoughtfully, and Fiona agrees to that as Lip nods. “Well…that sounds fair. You can meet with them first and if they are sober and decent, bring them back. They won’t stay long, we already laid down the rules”.  

Ian nods himself in agreement to the plan, and pushes the thought of Frank and Monica from his mind for the rest of the night.

You might think it would be lonely on Christmas Eve to have a house full of kids with their parents long gone, but in the Gallagher home, this had long been the norm. The house was happy, and warm, and filled with love that night. They all sat at the table together and Debbie insisted on singing Christmas carols before they dug into their Christmas dinner, the fat turkey Mickey had stolen being the centerpiece on the table.

Snow drifted down gently outside as Ian set up a Christmas movie for his siblings to watch before bed, and then he joined his older sibling upstairs afterwards to wrap they few gifts they had been able to save up for and purchase for their younger siblings. They drank ridiculously boozy cups of eggnog, and laughed non-stop as they tried to wrap the presents decently afterwards, Fiona being particularly bad at it once buzzed, something her brothers teased her about relentlessly.  

Ian felt warm and happy that whole night, even as he went to sleep, but a small nagging part of him wished that Mickey was here too, where he knew he would be safe and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels weird writing about Christmas in the summer but I started the fic based in September so what can ya do lol


	22. Wake The Fuck Up, It's Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Christmas Day at the Gallaghers, they have two unexpected visitors wanting to come by.

Ian wakes up in the morning to the sound of Carl screaming in his ear for him to wake up, and he shoves him off in annoyance.

“Ian wake the fuck up, it’s Christmas” Carl taunts, throwing a handful of dirty laundry at him. “You buzz off, or I’ll throw your presents in the snow” Ian grouses as he gets up, taking Liam’s waiting hand to bring him downstairs.

As they reach the hallway he sees Debbie dragging Fiona out of her room, and Lip was apparently awake before any of them, as he is already downstairs when they get there. He’s reheating some breakfast food from the restaurant he works part time at waiting tables. Liam stops and does a little happy dance when he sees the presents under the tree, and the rest of the Gallaghers burst out laughing at his antics as they gather around the tree.

The older siblings exchange packets of cigarettes and small bottles of alcohol with each other, and watch as their younger siblings unwrap the actual toys, clothes, and candy they had saved up to get for them. There’s not a lot to unwrap, really, but it feels like a lot to them. They finish everything by ten a.m., and their excitement dies down enough for them to eat the breakfast Lip had prepared.

Ian is on the last forkful of his scrambled eggs when they all hear a knocking at the front door. “They aren’t supposed to come here first” he whispers, looking at Lip and Fiona warningly.

“They didn’t” Fiona answers firmly, “It must be someone else”.

Ian quickly gets up, suddenly remembering that Mickey was supposed to come over today. He had probably been texting Ian to let him know, but with the festivities of Christmas morning he had completely forgotten his phone upstairs.

Sure enough, Mickey is standing in front of the Gallagher’s front door, gripping the straps of the backpack he’s wearing. His breath is showing in the cold winter air, and he peers past Ian to see if anyone is close enough to hear before he says “Hey you, Merry Christmas. Guess what?”

Ian lifts one eyebrow curiously, “What?”

“Two things actually” Mickey says, “One, this is for you. All of you actually”. He slides off the backpack he’s wearing and pulls out a rectangular package from it.

“All of us?” Ian asks in confusion, taking it. It’s pretty heavy. Mickey nods.

“Wow, okay. What’s number two?” Mickey grins, and turns to look around at the snow behind himself for a moment, looking confused. “Um...” He whistles sharply, “Mo! C’mere boy!”

Ian’s eyes widen as a large black and white dog comes tearing out from the side of the house and towards Mickey. “I got a dog. Well, my dad did. Sort of. He was my aunts, dad wanted a fucking guard dog for his runs, but I’ll be taking care of him”.

Mickey beams, patting the dogs head as he comes to a full stop beside him.

Ian crouches and pets the dog, who sniffs him in response. He thinks of he first time he had creeped through Mickey’s Facebook, a few months back, and saw a picture of him and his old dog, one of the few things he had cared enough about to share publicly.

“His name is Mo?” he asks, looking for a non-existent tag on his leather collar. “I named him” Mickey says, and then adds dead seriously “It’s short for Homo”.

Ian looks up, “You’re fucking joking”.

Mickey bursts out laughing, “No I’m not. It’s fucking hilarious hearing my dad call for him”. Ian shakes his head and starts laughing too, “You’re fucking nuts, you know that? Come inside”.

Mickey starts to trail inside after him, but makes the dog stop on the porch, “Mo wait here”. The dog sits obediently but Ian shakes his head, “Nah, he can come in. It’s too cold out. Not like we have perfect furniture for him to wreck anyways”.

Mo pads inside the Gallagher house after Mickey, wagging his tail as he sees the new group of people inside.

“Hey guys” Mickey waves awkwardly at everyone, “Merry Christmas. This is Mo, he’s friendly as long as I tell him to be” he says, noticing how Liam looks apprehensively at the large dog before he comes over.

He gives Mickey a quick hug and then reaches his hand out to the dog, who sniffs him, causing Liam to shriek with laughter.

Fiona raises her eyebrows at her youngest brother, being the only Gallagher left to miss out on witnessing the rare effect Mickey had on their shy sibling, other than seeing the picture of them sledding together. Ian lifts up the package to break the awkward silence, “Mickey got us something”.

Mickey blushes slightly as the rest of the Gallaghers come over, eyeing him in confusion. Ian smiles at him apologetically, feeling slightly guilty that his family’s first reaction is to not really trust him.

They let Liam unwrap it, because he’s the youngest, but it’s not something that interests him all that much, being that he’s only three. “What is it?” he asks.

Mickey looks up at Fiona and Lip. “A new laptop, cause I…well, I was there when the other one broke” Mickey says, catching himself and reddening.

Ian looks up at him in disbelief, along with the other two oldest Gallaghers, “Mickey, you didn’t have to-“

He lifts a hand casually to interrupt him, “It’s not like, a great one or anything, so don’t fucking thank me too much. But it’s better than nothing I guess”.

Fiona’s got that look on her face again like she just can’t figure Mickey out, and Ian can’t blame her, because he almost feels the same way. He’s just full of surprises… something Ian loves about him more and more each day. He knows Mickey would have had to get the money for it working for his dad, and Ian feels slightly guilty about that, but he’s also really touched.

He wishes he could kiss him right then and there, in front of everyone. Instead he clears his throat, making sure his voice isn’t hoarse as he says, “Thanks Mickey”.

He smiles, “No problem man. Hey, how was the turkey?” he jokes, turning to Fiona. She clears her confused expression quickly, “Oh! It was great! Yeah, thanks for reminding me, you have to stay for dinner tonight, we have lots of leftovers. Mo too”, she adds, glancing at the dog laying quietly on the floor.

“I think I have a tennis ball in my room, that Mo can play with while he’s here” Ian says pointedly, motioning subtly for Mickey to follow him upstairs.

As soon as they get into his shared bedroom, he closes the door behind himself, and grabs Mickey’s arms to pull him into a kiss. He quickly drops them and pulls away when Mo begins to growl at him, hackles raised, but Mickey lifts a warning hand above the dog, “No, bad dog Mo! We don’t fucking growl at Ian”.

Ian hesitates to reach for Mickey again, lightly joking, “Sometimes you do”. But Mickey pulls him again, grinning, “That’s fucking different. And he’s fine. He’s a guard dog, right, so he just has to get used to me telling him who’s okay and who’s not. I’m teaching him how to be a normal dog when we’re not working”.

Sure enough, Mo continues to eye them at first, but then loses interest and begins to sniff around the room curiously as Mickey moves his mouth against Ian’s, who holds the back of his head as they begin to kiss more passionately. After a few minutes, he feels an uncomfortable strain against his pants, and finally pulls away before someone comes upstairs, breathlessly.

Mickey blinks a few times to clear his head, as Ian does the same.

“So what do you want to do today? Stuff with your family?” he asks, after a minute or two.

Ian grimaces, remembering. “I actually have to go out, on my own, and meet with Frank and Monica”. Mickey frowns at him in confusion, “Your parents? Why? I thought they-“

“They did, they are, whatever you’re going to fucking say. But they are gonna be here for a short visit tonight, and I need to make sure they can fucking handle it, _before_ they come over”.

Mickey nods his understanding, noticing Ian’s rapidly returning stress over situation. “I can go home”, he offers. Ian shakes his head, “I’d rather you stayed here, if you don’t mind, just be here when I come back with them. It’s not…it’s not gonna be fucking easy”.

“If you need me, I’m here” Mickey answers, as if that’s all there is to it.

He kisses Ian on the forehead reassuringly later than afternoon, who tries to draw strength from his boyfriend, who always seems to be a pillar of it, before he heads downstairs and then out to meet his parents.

Lip and Fiona had told him again he didn’t need to do this, and Mickey was doing his best to hide his worry, but he needed to go.

As he takes the El towards the coffee shop Frank had texted him to go to, he sits in silence, and ruminates over the memories of his shitty childhood while they were around. His phone lights up, and he squeezes it in his hand as he reads the message from Mickey.

“ **Thinking bout you. Love you** ”

He arrives at the coffee shop first and sits down nervously as he waits, for once in his life ordering a tea instead of a coffee, so he can try to relax. He’s blowing on it to cool it down, when he hears a woman’s familiar childlike voice, “Ian?”

He looks up from his cup and sees his mother approaching him tentatively, but he feels no pull to say hello to either her or his father, who is coming in behind her. He nods at them as they sit down. “Merry Christmas baby” Monica says, smiling at him as Frank plays with her blonde hair. He ignores the comment, getting straight to the point “Look, I’m just here to make sure-“

Frank cuts him off in annoyance, “To make sure your mother and I are worthy of seeing our own children, on Christmas? You always were the most ungrateful of the bunch”. Ian rolls his eyes, “Shut up Frank. Either of you been drinking today? Take any pills?”

Frank flips him off as Monica giggles nervously, “Just the legal prescription kind”. He watches them closely for a moment or two, and they seem sober. Ian presses his mouth into a line, “Fine”. They’ve passed his test, but now he has nothing else to say to them, and frankly it’s pretty fucking awkward until Monica tries again to make conversation.

“How’s school? You have a girlfriend in your life?” Ian glances away before looking at her, “Uh…sort of? It’s not… we’re not public with it”.

She reaches forward to pat his hand and he manages to keep himself from pulling away. “You should be. Don’t ever be ashamed of the person you are with, or you’re with the wrong person”. She smiles over at his pathetic excuse for a father, and Ian tries not to roll his eyes in disgust.

His hand feels funny where she’s touching it, like he should feel something, some affection maybe, but he doesn’t. “Not ashamed. Just complicated”.

“You make everything complicated” Frank points out as she takes her hand away.  

“Fuck off” Ian grouses, “You don’t even know what you’re fucking talking about. And how could you? You were never around”. Frank starts to argue but Monica pulls on his arm, “No Frankie, we are keeping it happy today, remember? Just happy stuff”. Frank looks like he wants to protest, but doesn’t.

As Ian rides back home on the El with them, worry begins to gnaw at his stomach about what Mickey might think when he sees these two. Crawling over each other like teenagers, clear addicts, regardless of what they may do or say.

Ian was a product of them, so what did that make him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but the last line made me kind of sad.


	23. Five Gallaghers And A Milkovich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Monica visit their kids on Christmas Day, when Mickey is also invited over. Mickey bonds with the family a little more.

Ian tries to smile as he comes back into the Gallagher house with his parents, for his younger sibling’s sake, but from Mickey’s expression as he approaches him, it didn’t come across that way. “You look like you’re in fuckin pain” he mutters quietly, as Monica and Frank flock over to the younger kids.

“Close enough” Ian whispers back. He glances over at Lip and Fiona meaningfully, but doesn’t say anything.

But maybe they were right, he thinks, watching the smiles on their faces as Debbie, Carl, and Liam take their gifts from their parents. They all seem fairly comfortable with this unusual situation, possibly because they haven’t really known much else though.

“How old are you now?” Frank suddenly asks Carl, who looks confused as he answers. And no shit, his parents should fucking know this, “I’m eight”.

“Old enough” Frank shrugs, pulling a small bottle of vodka from his coat and handing it to him.

“Hey! Hey! No, absolutely not” Fiona marches over and snatches the bottle from her younger brother’s hand.

Ian quickly glances over at Mickey, who was watching the whole interaction closely. What must be going through his head as he sees this bullshit, Ian wonders. Mickey turns to him as if he can hear his thoughts.

“Well, my older brothers never took my bottles away from me. Course, I probably would have tried to kick their asses if they did”, Mickey grins.  Ian bites his lip, picturing it. Of course Terry would have pulled this shit too.

Debbie had gotten up to use the washroom, where Mo had apparently been kept for the initial greeting, because as soon as she opens the door he comes charging into the room, and immediately goes for Frank, teeth bared.

Mickey launches towards the dog as everything goes to shit.

“DOWN!” he yells, pulling Mo off of a flailing and cursing Frank. Frank finally notices that Mickey is there, “What’s that fucking mutt doing here? And what the fuck is a Milkovich kid doing in MY house?”

“It’s not your fucking house” Ian yells back angrily, as Mickey reddens slightly.

“He’s done more for us in the past few months than you have asshole” Fiona says harshly, “And Liam loves him. He even replaced our broken laptop, that YOUR sons needed for school”.

Mickey steps back, awkwardly holding Mo back by the collar as the Gallagher siblings rush to his defense, clearly not used to having anyone defending him. And clearly not wanting to get involved in this family feud.

Frank sneers, “Big fucking deal, he sold some coke and bought you a shitty laptop. I know his dad, alright? This one will turn out just like him”. Monica smacks Frank’s arm at his comment, and as Ian looks over at his boyfriend, he looks like he’s just been punched.

“Like you’re one to fucking talk Frank” Lip says, rolling his eyes. Only Ian has noticed the effect his dad’s words have had on Mickey though, and he feels a red-hot anger flare up inside him.

“GET OUT! Get the fuck out!”

The rest of his siblings look over at him in surprise at his outburst, except for Liam, who runs over to hide behind Mickey.

Frank scoffs at them, as his mother covers her mouth, upset. “I see how it is. Fine, you think you don’t need your fucking parents? We’ll leave”.

Monica stands up with Frank, clinging to his arm as she looks back at her children apologetically, “I’m sorry kids. I’ll call”. 

She won’t.

Ian huffs as they walk out the front door, Frank slamming it shut behind them.

There is a tense silence in the room, until Fiona turns to Mickey, “Sorry about that”. He just shrugs, looking resigned. “It’s whatever, asshole’s right anyways”.

Ian looks over at him, mouth open, trying to control himself from having another outburst. He manages to just say, “You’re nothing like your dad”.

Mickey just looks down, and Lip, sensing the tension, offers “You guys wanna have a smoke? Could use one after that debacle”.

They go upstairs to their shared bedroom, and Lip opens the window as Mickey shuts the door closed behind them. Lip starts to roll a joint, jokingly saying, “You’re a drug dealer, and you don’t have any weed?” Ian cuts in before Mickey has a chance to, “His dad is”.

Mickey shrugs, “Technically, when I deliver I am too. He’s says weeds a fucking waste of time though, sticks with selling hard shit, less often”. Lip nods, “More profitable”.

Ian feels a little sick as he realizes just what ‘working for his dad’ meant when Mickey was gone for a few days here and there every month, and he takes a long drag off of the joint when Lip passes it to him. No wonder his dad wanted a fucking dog for security.

He's a little dizzy and too stoned after a while to say much, so he leans back on his bed to just listen while Mickey and Lip talk. “Your sister single man?” Lip is asking, to which Mickey frowns. He coughs as he answers, “Why the fuck do you care?”

“She’s pretty hot” Lip answers, shrugging. Mickey rolls his eyes, “I recommend you don’t fuck with her. A, she’s fucking nuts. B, I’ll have to kick your ass if you hurt her, and I kinda like you Gallaghers”.

Lip grins, “I’m just fucking with you. She is hot though, got that bad girl thing going on”. “Says you and every other douchebag at school.  Can’t keep up with the fuckin lessons I gotta teach them” Mickey laughs.

“Yeah, Fiona’s got a bad habit of sleeping with assholes too. Though, we don’t usually go after them” Lip says thoughtfully. Ian mumbles from the bed, “We went after Dan Bealer”. Mickey glances back at him, “You alright Ian?”

Lip looks at his younger brother and laughs, “He’s just a little greened out. And yeah we did Ian, but that’s only because he really fucked her up. She was crying for like a solid week after that one” he tells Mickey, who nods, understanding. If they didn’t look out for their sisters, no one would.

By dinner, Ian is no longer dizzy and fills his plate, so much so that Lip and Mickey start to laugh at him, “You’re supposed to puff puff pass Ian, not puff puff puff” Lip points out. Ian grins, still stoned, “I’m hungry”.

“Yeah, no shit”, Mickey teases, reaching past him to put some stuffing on his plate. Liam had chosen, not surprisingly, to sit beside him and he tugs at his arm, pointing down at Mo.

Mickey looks at him for a minute in confusion, but before Ian can translate, Mickey says, “No let me figure this out by myself, I gotta get used to it”.

Ian smiles at the innocent comment, and Mickey snaps his tattooed fingers a few second later, “Yes, you can give Mo turkey”. Liam nods and drops pieces of turkey down to the dog, who snatches each one up appreciatively, wagging his tail.

“He’s really well trained, and he can do some tricks”, Mickey says, “You wanna see?” Liam nods, his eyes shining with interest, as the rest of Gallaghers watch on too. He stands up, pushing his chair back, and stands back a bit so they can see. He runs through the usual tricks with Mo, _sit, stay, lay down, speak,_ before he turns to Liam, “C’mere Liam, you get him to do one”.

Liam hesitates as he comes over, and Mickey whispers something in his ear, before going over and opening the door in the kitchen that leads to the back yard. He leaves it that way and steps back.

Liam clasps his hands together, but doesn’t do anything else. “You have to say it out loud Liam, or he doesn’t know what you want him to do. Mo, look at Liam” Mickey points, and the dog follows his finger towards the little boy.

Liam says, his voice small, “Close the door Mo”. Mo runs over to the door and jumps against it, pushing it closed with his front paws. “Good job Liam!” Fiona calls out, beaming at the excited look on her little brother’s face. He pets Mo eagerly as he returns, and Mickey gives him high five before they return to their seats.

“He knows attack too, but I didn’t think that would be so good to show” Mickey laughs, awkwardly, scratching his head.

“I volunteer Lip” Ian says lazily, grinning at his older brother, who flips him off.

The five Gallaghers, and the one Milkovich, along with his dog, spend the rest of the evening stuffing themselves with leftovers, making fun of each other, and setting up the new laptop for the upcoming semester.

That night, Ian looks around at his smiling brothers and sisters, and his unusual but loving boyfriend with his guard dog, and thinks it’s the best fucking Christmas he’s had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is New Year's, and it's gonna be very explicit :P Just a heads up


	24. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian spend a heated New Year's together after Ian drunkenly admits to his interest in switching things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Victoria Day my fellow Canadians! Long weekends rock.  
> *Chapter rated Explicit for graphic sexual scenes*

Ian unfortunately doesn’t get to see Mickey again after that night until New Year’s Eve, which Mickey had promised him he would be available for. The Milkovich house was apparently full with his own family right now, including many half siblings, and it was hard for him to get away.

Ian doesn’t give him a hard time about it though, as much as he prefers to be around Mickey, as long as he’s not out working for his dad, he’s grateful. Still, he feels a little down after the first three days, and lonely, even as Mickey tries to cheer him up with lyric texts here and there, one of Ian’s favorite games.

‘ ** _And when I ask him, is he doing alright? He’s a rollercoaster, and yeah, he’s a fire in the night_** ’

Ian just sends back a simple smile emoji. He’s struggled with feeling down before, from time to time, usually for no apparent reason, but it’s pretty clear to him why he’s feeling that way this time.

It’s clear to Mickey too, who texts him again, sensing what’s bothering him. “ **Miss you too. I’m gonna come see you real soon. What do you want to do for New Years? Other than get fucking wasted lol** ”

The question reminds him of something, and Ian bites his lip as he types out, “ **Be with you. Fuck you** ”. He’s thinking of something else too though, he’d had a strange dream the other night. One that left him having to change out of his boxers in the morning, and although he hadn’t been able to shake it from his mind, he still felt too shy to mention it to his boyfriend.

Mickey texts back, “ **Yeah? What if I was there right now?** ”

Ian thinks for a moment, there’s a lot he would like to do… “ **I’d fuck you so hard Mick. Make you call my name** ”.

“ **Fuck, you’re making me hard, Gallagher. Why don’t you send me a fucking pic or something, help me out here?** ”

He grins as he unbuttons his jeans. Mickey just knew how to fucking cheer him up, like no one else ever could.

 

Ian gets a text from him on New Year’s Eve around 9 p.m., and heads over to their secret place on Roger’s Street after he stuffs a flashlight and an old outdoor blanket for them to sit on into his backpack.

He hears Mickey swearing inside as he turns on his flashlight, catching the other boy off guard. “Sorry” he says, as he turns the beam of light onto where Mickey is sitting, illuminating him, “Should of said I was on my way”.

“Can you get the fucking searchlight out of my eyes? I’m gonna go fuckin blind” Mickey complains, blocking his face with his hands, as Ian notices he’s actually got some facial hair growing right now. He lowers the flashlight, “Where’s Mo?”

“At home with my dad. Wanted privacy” Mickey grins, as Ian gets closer.

Ian laughs, “He’s a dog Mickey”. “I don’t care, I don’t want him to watch me getting fucked” Mickey says, frowning, as Ian sits down beside him, taking the blanket from his backpack and shoving it underneath them to block the cold.

“Missed you” Ian says, changing the subject and pressing his mouth against Mickey’s. He breathes out shakily as Mickey’s tongue finds his, and he moves his hand around to hold the back of his head before he lowers it to stroke his cheek. “You didn’t shave” he murmurs, pressing his lips against it.

“Yeah, it’s been hard to get into the bathroom for more than five fucking minutes with so many people over. Haven’t even been able to fucking jerk off in days, Iggy’s been sharing my room” Mickey complains.

Ian brushes his cheek against Mickey’s, testing out the unfamiliar prickle of the stubble against his skin. “You must be horny as hell” he says suggestively, and Mickey shifts slightly as he turns to look at him, “You could fucking say that”.

Ian answers casually, “Well… you can jerk off now”. Mickey raises his eyebrow in interest at the coy suggestion, “Yeah, guess I can”. He looks directly at Ian as he lifts upwards and lowers his jeans, and Ian sees he’s already hard.

Mickey sits back down, licking his bottom lip after he wets his palm with his tongue, and lowers it to his dick. Ian swallows hard, watching as his boyfriend begins to stroke himself, he feels himself growing harder by the second.

Mickey presses his head back against the wall after a couple minutes, closing his eyes, and groaning with pleasure. Ian watches for another minute with extreme interest before he shifts upwards and begins to pull down his own jeans, Mickey opening his eyes at the sound and looking at him with his eyebrow raised.

“Wanna get in you before you cum” he pants, knowing Mickey won’t last long after holding it in for the past few days.

Mickey closes his eyes again and grins, “Get the lube bitch”.

Ian leans over him to reach into his backpack and feels around until he touches some familiar metallic condom and lube packets. He tears them open and gets to work preparing himself, spreading the lube over his dick impatiently.

“Better hurry Gallagher” Mickey warns, pausing his hand movements. Ian sees his dick twitch, already leaking.

“Get against the wall” he demands, positioning himself behind Mickey as he does. He leans forward and licks the other boys neck hotly, feeling Mickey shiver underneath him. “ _Fuck_ ” he breathes.

“How do you want me?” Ian murmurs as he pushes slowly into the other boy, too impatient to loosen him beforehand. Mickey doesn’t complain though, the lube was sufficient enough to surpass any serious discomfort. “Hard and fucking fast” he answers.

Exactly what Ian wanted to hear.

He kicks the blanket away from the wall and arches his back as he leans in, and then thrusts into Mickey. Over and over again, the sounds of their pleasured grunts and moans echoing slightly in the abandoned building.

“Just like that” Mickey tells him repeatedly, gasping as he does. Ian buries his nose against the back of Mickey’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent deeply, as he begins to sweat from exertion.

He notices then what Mickey is doing, and pulls his boyfriend’s hand away from his dick and presses it against the concrete wall, pinning the other boy by the wrist. “Don’t touch yourself” he says aggressively. Mickey’s eyes shut, “I’m gonna cum anyways” he answers, shuddering.

Ian presses into him harder, aiming for his prostate, and he can tell he hit it directly as Mickey moves unsteadily beneath him and begins to curse loudly. He looks down and watches, as Mickey begins to ejaculate onto the wall and ground. He slows his thrusts, but Mickey leans his head back, giving him an encouraging look as his eyes shine with release, “C’mon Gallagher”.

Ian doesn’t need to be told twice, and picks up his punishing pace again, making harsh noises in his throat as he approaches his own orgasm. Mickey sends him right over the edge when he demands, “Cum for me” and Ian does just that, shaking as he empties his load deep inside of the other boy.

“Fuck”, he runs his hand over his sweaty forehead and through his red hair as he pulls out, “That was fucking good”.

Mickey hikes up his jeans as Ian does the same, “Man, I fucking needed that”. He presses his lips against Ian’s in a messy kiss, both of them absolutely spent. Ian tosses the condom and moves the blanket to a different area of the wall, one that isn’t currently dripping in jizz.

He checks his phone afterwards, and it’s already ten. “Can we crack open those liquor bottles I felt in your backpack?” he asks, feeling both thirsty and festive. Mickey grins, “Fuck yeah. Whiskey, or vodka?” “Whiskey” Ian answers, knowing Mickey prefers it.

Mickey cracks the bottle open and takes several long gulps from it before he passes it Ian, who does the same, gasping slightly as his eyes burn from the alcohol’s intense strength while it runs down his parched throat.

They pass the bottle back and forth for the next hour, draining it, and Ian feels a heavy buzz settle over his mind as him and Mickey begin to laugh at absolutely nothing.

“You’re fucking trashed” Mickey says, grinning at him as he stumbles to the corner to take a piss. He hiccups after he says it though, and Ian bursts out laughing. “ _You’re_ fucking trashed, whatchu talkin about Milkovich”.

He settles back down beside Mickey on the blanket once he’s done, gripping the cold whiskey bottle between his fingers. But his dream from a few nights ago, and the same thought, keep running through his mind, over and over again. Teasingly.

Maybe it’s because he’s intoxicated, but he feels like now’s a good a time as any to bring it up. “You remember that time you told me about how you… fucked those other guys?”

Mickey groans as he looks over at him, “Ian, I’m fucking drunk. You wanna nitpick at something do it when I’m sober”.

“No” Ian burps, “I’m not- I’ve been thinking about how you said you liked it”. Mickey interrupts him, “Not as much as I like _getting_ fucked”. Ian presses his hand to his mouth to make him shut up so he can continue, “Right but you did like it, and God, I love fucking you, so I was thinking… maybe _you_ should fuck _me_ ”.

Mickey looks over at him in surprise, but then shakes his head. “You’re fucking drunk Ian”. “Well, yeah, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while now” Ian answers honestly.  

“I thought you didn’t like bottoming?” Mickey asks, raising his eyebrow at him. “I don’t, but I never really tried and I think I might with you. I love you” he turns his head to look at his boyfriend more directly. “You want me to fuck you?” Mickey repeats, sounding like he doesn’t believe him.

“Yeah, don’t you… want to?”

Ian feels self conscious all of a sudden, and Mickey bites his lip, “Of course I fucking want to”. Ian starts to struggle out of his jeans but Mickey shakes his head and stops his hand, “Not now though, we’re both fucking wasted. I don’t know if I can be gentle”. Ian is disappointed, feeling stupid for even bringing it up now. He knows it’s partly the alcohol making him act slightly dramatic, but he checks his phone again, 11 p.m., and drops it. He doesn’t want to go into the New Year arguing with Mickey.

He gets even quieter as he begins to sober up over the next half hour, and Mickey bites his lip as he eventually looks over, clearly worried that he’d upset him. Ian glances back at him, “I trust you, you know”.

He’s still sporting a semi, unable to shake the scorching thought from his mind, as he leans in to kiss his boyfriend with want. Mickey opens his mouth to the kiss, and slips his tongue in past Ian’s hungrily, still clearly horny as hell too.

They can already hear booming fireworks starting to go off outside from a few streets away, and through some broken parts in the concrete walls, they can see the sky filling up with bright and colorful streaks of light. The loud sounds outside add to the thrumming in Ian’s eardrums, and he feels even more heated.

The alcohol might be part of it, at least making him confident enough to say it to Mickey, but he knows it’s what he fucking wants. He breathes shakily into the other boy’s mouth, who groans in response. “I want you so bad” Ian says into his lips, “ _Please_ ”.

Mickey looks up at him, his pupils large and dark with want, and says, “What if I finger you? It takes time for you to be ready to get fucked anyways, Ian”. Ian bites his lip, thinking, and Mickey adds, “If you still want me to when we’re both totally sober, I’ll fuck the shit out of you, alright?”

Ian nods in agreement, and pulls out another packet of lube from the backpack and hands it to his boyfriend, who tears it open as carefully as he can, even in his still slightly drunken state. Mickey spreads it over his fingers and leans over Ian, who is already taking his pants off.

“Spread your legs a bit” Mickey tells him, and Ian immediately does. Mickey kisses him, a long and slow kiss, and Ian closes his eyes as Mickey’s hand lowers down towards his ass. He soon feels a finger gently probing him, and he moans into Mickey’s mouth again, “I want you so fucking bad”.

He feels one finger slide inside of him slowly, and he jerks his head back at the mostly unfamiliar, but pleasant sensation. “Yeah that’s good, you’re so relaxed” Mickey tells him warmly, moving his lips down to Ian’s neck to kiss along it.

He puts in a second finger and Ian groans, making Mickey immediately stop his motions.

“No, keep going!” Ian urges. Mickey nods at his demand, and returns to his gentle massaging inside him. He spreads more lube over his fingers before he goes for a third and final entry, and Ian sees Mickey watching his face closely the entire time for any sign of pain. He begins to stroke his cock while Mickey fingers him, and soon the combined and overwhelming sensation has him writhing on the ground.

“So fucking hot” he barely hears Mickey say, over the booming fireworks outside. As the hour passes midnight, Ian comes so hard that he sees fireworks, even as he closes his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so can I just say there's no way Trevor was Ian's first even in the Shameless universe?


	25. My Name is Mickey, Everybody Fucking Knows That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back to school for the second semester, and Mickey is back to his antics.

Ian yawns loudly as he steps outside on the morning of the second semester. Back to school, back to early mornings. The only thing that makes it better is seeing Mickey waiting there on the front porch for him again, smoking his morning cigarette.

Mo is there too, taking a piss on the fence, and Ian gestures at him, “He coming too?” Mo looks like he’d probably like to, and Ian can’t think of more intimidating sight for some of their classmates than seeing Mickey Milkovich stroll through the school halls with his guard dog. Of course, if you knew either of them well enough, it’s a very different story.

Mickey glances at the dog, “Nah, just brought him for a walk. He knows his way home. Lip coming?”, he asks, standing up and slinging his backpack on over his shoulder.

Ian shakes his head, “He’s got a first period spare this semester”. Mickey grins as he joins him on the sidewalk, “Oh yeah? So I can flirt with you the whole way to school now?” “Carry my books, bitch” Ian teases.

Mickey laughs, “Fuck off”. He tosses his cigarette butt into the snow. “Go home Mo. Home!” The dog turns and takes off in the opposite direction towards the Milkovich home, and Ian grabs Mickey’s attention again by poking him in the shoulder as they start walking to school. “Did you get your schedule yet?”

Mickey rolls his eyes, “Yes, you only bugged me to do it like five fucking times”. “Well, what do you have?” Ian asks, hoping they have some classes together again.

Mickey pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and scans it. “Homeroom is Chem with Richards, then Religion with Dolly, third period lunch, fourth period mechanical shop with Moreau, and… last period is History with Clark”.

Ian peers at the page too, “We have Chemistry together! And History, so first and last, together”.

Mickey smiles at him in a funny way, and Ian asks, “What?” But Mickey just shakes his head. Ian thinks about his own schedule, “I have Religion second period too, with Quinn though. Fourth period construction instead of mechanical, with… Robinson I think”.

“Quinn’s a bitch, had her first year. Robinson’s good” Mickey informs him, Ian nodding at his advice.

It’s the first time either of them have taken a chemistry class, and Mickey and Ian look around their homeroom with interest before choosing a station at the back of the room. It’s set up differently than most classrooms, with several blocky stations lined in two rows for students to sit in pairs.

“You know how easy it’s gonna be to text in this class?” Ian says, patting the lab station. “Teacher can’t see anything back here behind these things”.

Mickey shrugs in disinterest, “Who the fuck am I gonna text? You’re here”. Before Ian has a chance to answer, Mr. Richards comes in and waves at his class of around twenty students.

“Hey everyone, welcome back. I’m guessing you all realize that whoever you are sitting beside now is your lab partner for the semester, but if anyone wants to switch, now’s the time”.

A few students who hadn’t initially realized this get up and shuffle around, and Ian is surprised as Brent comes over to him, “Partner?” he asks.

“Will you fuck off?” Mickey immediately answers, before Ian has a chance to say anything, leaning over the high work station to get a perfect view as he flips him off.

“Jesus, sorry. Thought he might want to _pass_ the class” Brent sneers, and Ian frowns at him, “Seriously Brent, fuck off”. As soon as he’s gone, Ian turns to Mickey, “I don’t know what his fucking problem is with you”.

Mickey rolls his eyes, “I do. He used to make fun of me when we were younger for always wearing fuckin hand me downs, so I beat the shit out of him one day. Actually, I made his life hell for an entire year before I got bored with it”.

Ian grins at his boyfriend, “Good for you. Doesn’t make sense why he wants to be friends with me though, I’m kinda in the same boat”. Mickey lowers his voice to answer as the teacher begins his first lesson, everyone else having finished choosing their seats.

“Ian, you’re the poor kid that doesn’t belong with the poor kids. You’re smart, you’re good looking, you’re nice. You actually have a future”. Ian stares at him, “You know you’re all those things too, right? As much as you try to hide it sometimes”.

Mickey stifles a laugh and shakes his head, but the teacher stares at them directly as he continues to speak, so both boys clam up, recognizing his warning glance.

Mickey was at least right about Mrs. Quinn, Ian decides, as she begins to lecture the class during second period. She’s supposed to cover at least some major religions that are prominent in Chicago, but as a devout Catholic it’s clear that the focus of her entire class will be about her own religion, something Ian really couldn’t care less about.

He hopes it’s at least an easy A. Mickey must have had her for English, one of the other courses she teaches, because there’s no way he would have been able to sit through this bullshit as patiently as Ian could.

He is surprised to see that Mickey isn’t underneath the bleachers during lunch. He texts to him to see where he is, but doesn’t get an answer.

Confused, Ian wanders around outside the school grounds for a bit, looking for him, before he heads back inside. As he passes by the front office, he sees a familiar dark headed boy sitting on one of the chairs inside.

He pushes past a poster advertising the upcoming school dance on the office’s glass door, and turns his attention directly towards Mickey instead of any of the secretaries or other admin workers inside. “What’s up?” he asks, confused. Mickey shrugs casually, “I punched Brent in Religion”.

“Why…?” Ian asks, trying not to laugh at his nonchalant stance.

“He’s a fucking douchebag that’s why” Mickey answers, crossing his arms. He then lowers his voice as he glances from the secretaries back to Ian, “And he tried to steal my fucking lab partner this morning. Shoulda seen it. Unbelievable, fucking prick”.

Ian really does laugh then, and the vice principal of the school comes over to them, “Mr. Gallagher? Can I help you?”

He shrugs, “I’m waiting for Mr. Milkovich”. Mickey snorts, and the vice principal raises her eyebrow but ignores Ian’s slightly impertinent statement, choosing instead to deal with the student in front of her.

“Mikhailo, do you think we could ever get through the first day of a semester without you ending up in my office?”

He touches his chin thoughtfully, “I don’t know Ms. Allway. Do you think we could get through _one normal_ _day_ without you calling me Mikhailo?”

She purses her lips at him, “It’s your name”. “My name is Mickey, everybody fucking knows that” he snaps back.

 “I suggest you watch your tone and your language, unless you want a suspension” she warns, and Mickey reluctantly closes his mouth, noticing how Ian holds his breath.

Ms. Allway clears her throat, “You’re free to go for now. But there’s already one strike on your name for detention, keep in mind”. Mickey starts to open his mouth to make some sarcastic comment, but shuts it as he sees Ian shake his head at him.

 Ms. Allway nods her head approvingly at Ian’s suggestion, and Mickey follows Ian out of the office a minute later.

Lunch is almost over, so they head towards the back of the school where their separate shop classes are, and they pass Brent in the hallway on the way there.

Mickey punches a locker as he goes past, and Brent flinches. Mickey laughs, and Ian grins as they keep going, “You just can’t fucking help yourself can you?”

“No”, Mickey answers very seriously, “His face just calls to my fist. Can’t explain it”.

The first day of construction class is boring to Ian, it’s all about safety procedures and going over the various tools they are allowed to use without direct supervision. He peeks over the heads of his classmates, to steal glances at the window separating the shop classes, hoping to see particular dark haired boy.

He doesn’t, but he does hear the teacher yell out in annoyance half way through class, “ _Jesus Christ Milkovich_! Will you put that thing down??”

Ian grins to himself as the rest of the class looks over to the window, and he wishes he had taken mechanical shop instead, just so he could enjoy Mickey’s antics a little more. They certainly made high school more interesting.

Mickey is considerably more reserved by the time they reach last period history class anyways, partly because there’s less opportunity for him to move around and actually annoy their teacher. Also partly because Brent isn’t in this class, or any other of his particularly disliked classmates, so he’s fairly calm.

Ian had tried to switch into his shop class at the end of the day, saying he had more of an interest in mechanics than woodworking, but the guidance counsellor had told him the class was full.

Still, he thinks, as he walks home with Mickey after school, laughing at his story from shop class that day.

As long as he gets to start and end his days with him, he’s happy.


	26. The Drunken Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk and horny, Ian makes a request of his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hit 45 subs on this fic, yay! Thanks guys :)

“Mickey, your character has been running into the wall for the past minute” Ian points out. Mickey blinks and looks at the TV screen more closely, as Ian starts to laugh. “You’re fucking wasted” he teases, looking at his boyfriend affectionately.

Mickey had invited him on over on a Friday night when he had the house to himself, and even though he’d already been throwing back the beers before Ian got there, he insisted he could still beat him in a Call of Duty match.

Which of course, he couldn’t even do when he was sober.

Mickey frowns, “You wouldn’t know that if you weren’t fucking screen peeking”.

Ian shoves his foot at him playfully, “Always bitching about screen peeking, I do not”. Mickey tosses his controller away from himself, onto the battered coffee table, and laughs, “I can’t fucking see the screen right anyways, it’s all moving and shit”. He waves his hand around to demonstrate.

Ian grabs the bottle of whiskey from the table and takes several long gulps, determined to catch up to Mickey’s level of intoxication. He was a fucking riot when he was drunk, but nothing beat when they both were. He’s getting there too, he can feel it.

“Watch a pro at work” he commands Mickey, exiting one vs one mode and heading into a multiplayer lobby. His boyfriend gets up and stands almost directly in front of the TV, staring at the screen, trying to follow the fast animated movements.

Ian’s character chucks a frag grenade, and then takes cover behind a destroyed car before shooting at another player that runs into the abandoned Afghani street in front of him.

“Ya fuckin got him” Mickey says, pointing at the screen as one of the soldiers hits the ground. Ian stares at the screen as it reddens and corrects him, “No, that’s my guy”. The two of them just about drain the Jack Daniel’s as he continues to play, and after a while he hears Mickey say appreciatively, “You look hot as fuck right now”.

He doesn’t take his eyes away from the screen, he’s drunk now, and it’s hard enough to focus already. “Huh?”

His boyfriend comes over and crouches in front of him, and as Ian looks down he sees a naughty look on his face. He immediately forgets about the game.

Mickey starts to tug at his pants, “I want to swallow this time”.

“Oh…” Ian breathes, perking up slightly with interest, and his dick does too as Mickey starts to suck his cock. After about a minute he opens his mouth. “Do that thing with your finger” he says, his inhibitions lowered, thanks to the whiskey.

Mickey pulls his mouth off of his dick with a pop, “You always wanna do ass stuff when you’re shitfaced Ian, you realize that? You’re a bottom drunk”.

“I have whiskey dick” Ian answers, looking down at himself, Mickey’s mouth no longer covering it. Mickey starts to laugh so hard that he loses his balance, and falls back against the coffee table in front of Ian. He lands on his ass and stays there.

For some reason that’s fucking hilarious too, and they both start laughing again.

Ian tucks his dick back inside of his boxers as carefully as he can once he calms down, jokingly whispering to it, “When you wake up, we’re gonna _wreck_ Mickey”.

Mickey grins at the suggestion “Well stop fucking drinking then, Gallagher”.

Ian waves his hand like Mickey’s being ridiculous, but he smiles as he does, knowing he should probably slow down anyways. It takes a lot for him to get whiskey dick, it’s a pretty fucking rare occurrence.

They both sit there contentedly for a while, until Mickey burps and then immediately afterwards says, “I have an idea”. “What’s that?” Ian asks, as he slouches down more comfortably onto the couch.

Mickey looks confused by the statement, “It’s when you… you know, you fucking think of something”.

“No I mean… what the fuck Mick?? I mean _what’s your idea_ ”. Ian holds his stomach as he breaks into giggles and Mickey crouches in front of him again, a different kind of mischievous look in his blue eyes this time.

“You know where Brent lives?”

Ian stops laughing and nods, wiping a tear from his eye, “Yeah, maybe like twenty-five minutes from here”. Mickey grins, “I’m gonna go piss on his house”.

“No you’re not” Ian tries to poke him but Mickey stops his hand, “Watch me”. He winks and heads for the door, grabbing his coat on the way.

Without really thinking about it, Ian gets up and follows him, and once they are outside Mickey looks at him expectantly, “Lead the way, Gallagher”.

He considers it for just a moment, before he decides it would be hilarious to see Mickey pissing on Brent’s house. Even if they used to be friends, Brent _is_ a dick. He does lead the way, and they sing drunkenly the entire way there, with more than one neighbor telling them to shut the fuck up on the way.

“ _Shhhh_ ” Ian whispers loudly, once he sees the house. He’d been here once or twice before, for parties in grade ten that Brent had thrown when his parents were away. He had tried to get Ian to hook up with a girl at them more than once before, and he always had to come up with a good fucking excuse not to, which was a bit of a chore.

Mickey raises his eyebrows, looking at the house questioningly, and Ian nods. Mickey pats him on the back, “Stay here”. He obediently sits on the curb, and watches Mickey run across the dark street towards to the house. He stops about halfway across their lawn, “BRENT” he calls.

Ian stifles giggles and Mickey hollers again after a few moments of silence, “BRENT, ya fuckin pussy, open your goddamn window!”

A window does open, and it is Brent’s, “What the fuck are _you_ doing here dumbass?”

Mickey unzips his jeans and starts to piss on the front lawn in response, and Ian loses it as Brent starts to loudly swear at him.

Mickey finishes and flips him off before he zips his fly back up. Brent slams the window shut, and Mickey comes jogging back across the street to where Ian’s waiting for him. He stands up immediately, and joins Mickey as they tear down the street, laughing their asses off the entire time.

“I didn’t think you’d actually fucking do it!” Ian manages to get out as they both eventually slow down, finally approaching Mickey’s street.

“When do I ever say I’m gonna fucking do something and then not do it?” Mickey asks, sounding like he is actually wondering.

Ian looks at him. He’s ruggedly handsome, catching his breath in the cold night air on the empty street, his coat unzipped, his cheeks flushed from both the running, and the winter air. Without answering, Ian reaches forward and grabs Mickey, pulling him into a heated kiss.

Mickey doesn’t fight it, and turns and pushes him against the street light, hard, as they make out.

He soon feels the words come tumbling out of his mouth again, into Mickey’s.

“ _I want you to fuck me_ ”.

He doesn’t know what it is about them. Almost every time they’re drunk they sort of switch roles over who’s more aggressive, but every fucking time Mickey has turned him down, saying he has to ask when he’s sober. He doesn’t, because _when he’s sober_ he’d prefer to fuck Mickey maybe 90% of the time, and the other 10% he’s too fucking shy to ask.

Mickey pulls away from the kiss reluctantly. He presses his forehead against Ian’s, shifting slightly and licking his lips.  

Ian can tell he fucking wants to, and he pushes him with both his words and his hands, “Fucking kiss me”.

Mickey immediately snaps his head up, and pushes back, pressing his mouth into Ian’s with conviction. He’s all muscle, all strength, all… everything. He’s everything, Ian thinks. He makes some strange weak noise in his throat, unintentionally, as Mickey lowers his mouth and begins to suck on his neck.

“I fuck really rough Ian” Mickey says quietly, warningly. “You think I can give it, but can’t take it?” Ian says back, feeling a bead of hot sweat roll down his back. “Not at first, no” Mickey says, regretfully pulling away.

He doesn’t trust himself, Ian can see it.

Mickey sniffs before he kisses him gently, “I don’t want to fuckin hurt you”. But Ian shakes his head. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me”. Mickey just grabs his shoulder, changing the subject. “C’mon, let’s go inside. We’re lucky no one came out”.

Ian feels as sober as Mickey now looks, and he follows him back inside of the Milkovich house without argument.  

Mickey goes into the kitchen and pours a tall glass of water from the tap, and hands it to him. Ian takes it without protest, but raises his eyebrow until Mickey gets another for himself. “What do you mean really rough?” he asks curiously, knowing he gets pretty fucking rough with Mickey sometimes.

Mickey looks at him with amusement, clearly thinking the same thing. “There’s just no in between with me Ian. Either I’m gonna bottom and enjoy getting fucked, or I go the other way and I go hard. Or I don’t get off in the same way”.

“Why are you being weird about it, just tell me” Ian says, annoyed by how he keeps dodging the question. Mickey sighs, “Because I like getting fucked better anyways! But alright, don’t look at me like I’m a fucking monster when I do though”. Ian frowns, but lets him continue.

“Last time after you told me you wanted me to fuck you, all I could think was the last time I fucked people, I liked leaving bite marks, choking em, shit like that. And girls especially didn’t like that shit, you know, back when I was trying to… you know. Anyways, they told me to fuck off with it”.

Ian feels a strange heat in the pit of his stomach, he’s never done anything like that before, but thinking about Mickey doing those things to him excites him.

A lot.

He looks down at his pants, his hard on straining against them. “Whiskey dick’s gone” he says casually.

Mickey bites his lip in interest, “Think you promised you were gonna wreck me when it was”. Ian raises his eyebrow suggestively, “I did, didn’t I? But that’s not what I’m hard over right now”.

Mickey looks at him uncertainly. “You’re sober enough now, I am too” Ian points out.

Mickey still hesitates though, and Ian feels annoyed again. “I’m not some fucking girl, alright? I’m not gonna break. Fuck me, dammit! How many times do I have to fucking ask you?” Mickey grins while Ian bitches at him, and raises his dark eyebrow once he’s done.

“I guess that’s the magic number”.

He comes right up to him, and Ian isn’t sure what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn’t Mickey picking him up, and throwing him awkwardly over his shoulder to carry him into his bedroom.

He can’t help but laugh as Mickey tosses him down onto the bed.

“Alright Ian Gallagher, I’m gonna fuck you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple things, I don't personally think girls are weak (obvs) or that liking rough sex makes you any kind of monster AT ALL (as long as it's consensual like this). Those statements just worked with what I was trying to get at here. Also, I think Mickey looks like the type of guy to be into rough sex sometimes ;P


	27. Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tops Ian for the first time, and it's just as loving as it is hot.

Ian lays down and looks at Mickey, who is standing beside the bed, stroking himself. He bites his lip, and Mickey raises his eyebrow, “Still wanna do this Gallagher?”

Ian feels himself nodding, and answering with “I love you”.

“I love you too. We’re gonna do this right though. Not like my first time” Mickey says, going over to his dresser drawer to pull out a hidden bottle of lube and a condom. He doesn’t elaborate on what he means by ‘not like his first time’ and Ian decides not to ask, in case he ends up freaking himself out.

He’s completely calm about this right now, and he wants it to stay like that. He just wants Mickey and that’s the only thing going through his head, as Mickey comes over to the bed and leans over him.

Ian reaches up and holds on to his thick arms, that are pressing into the bed, feeling his strong muscles flex as he supports his weight. “You wanna listen to music or something?” Mickey asks. Ian nods, smiling, and Mickey reaches past him to grab his phone, pulling up the Spotify app.

“What do you feel like?” Mickey asks, looking doubtfully at his mostly hardcore playlists. “Something romantic” Ian grins, but Mickey doesn’t laugh, and just taps on a “You & Me” playlist before putting his phone back on the shelf.

Mickey lowers his head and kisses him, unhurried, and Ian closes his eyes as he listens to the slower song, relaxing him even further. They stay there just like that and kiss for a very long time, until he whispers into his boyfriend’s lips, “I’m ready”.

He hears a bottle snap open, and he opens his eyes to watch as Mickey squirts lube out onto his fingers. A lot of it.

“Can’t use too much” Mickey says, looking at him and reading his expression. As much as he said he liked rough sex, there’s nothing rough in his eyes right now, just gentleness and love. It makes Ian want him even more.

Mickey rubs his inner thigh for a moment to relax him, and Ian tenses slightly in anticipation as Mickey slowly circles his hole, and then slides a finger in him. The motion is fluid and smooth though, and Mickey clearly knows what he is doing, as there is no discomfort. Ian immediately feels himself getting hard from the incredible sensation as Mickey gently massages into him with second finger.

“That ok?” he asks, looking straight into Ian’s blown eyes. “Yea” Ian manages to get out, marvelling at the unfamiliar but still orgasmic feeling creeping over him as Mickey works him open. He already feels precum leaking out of his dick, and as he looks down at it he can see how hard Mickey is too, and it makes him groan without thinking, “ _I want you so bad_ ”.

Mickey bites his lip, closing his eyes for a second, “You’re almost there. ‘Nother minute or so”.

He reaches onto the bedspread and grabs the condom he’d left there, taking it up to his teeth and tearing it open. He rolls it over his dick with one hand and uses the other to continue working Ian open, who feels his eyes rolling back.

_If fingers could feel this fucking good, what would his dick feel like?_

He’d clearly never approached this in the right way before.

“I get why guys laughed at me when I said bottoming was awful now” he says, somewhat sheepishly as he continues to groan in pleasure. Mickey smiles at him knowingly, “Fingers are the easy part Ian”.

“I’m ready” he insists, and Mickey presses into his prostate teasingly in response, making him cry out “Don’t stop!” Mickey grins and shifts to position himself properly, while Ian reaches for his face, aggressively kissing him as Mickey takes his fingers out and rubs his dick against his ass instead.

“Don’t tease me” he growls, opening his eyes to look at Mickey warningly, as he clings to him. Mickey bites his lip, “Alright”.

He carefully pushes inside of him, and Ian feels his entire body immediately tense into the initial panic he’s associated with bottoming. “Let me know if you wanna stop” he hears Mickey say. Ian shakes his head, and realizes Mickey knows how to handle him through the initial burn, edging in centimetre by centimeter, watching Ian’s face the entire time as it shifts from initial pain to interest, and then deep pleasure.

He splashes more warm lube down onto Ian’s hole once he gets fully inside. He’s not moving anymore though, has just gotten through the long initial process of working himself in, and he pauses again. Ian shifts slightly from underneath him, impatiently telling him, “ _Fuck me_ ”.

“I’m gonna go gentle” Mickey says firmly, both to himself and Ian. He starts out that way, slowly pulling partially out and then edging back in, but the sensation is teasing to Ian, as he revels in a fullness he’s never felt before.

He opens his eyes after several minutes and looks back up at Mickey, who is leaning over him, his strong arms pressed into the bed, as he slowly fucks into him. His eyes are dark, his hairline is sweaty, and his cheeks are red as he struggles to control himself from being too amorous. 

“Harder” Ian demands, knowing he can handle it.

Mickey looks full of gratitude as he starts to pump faster, and he starts to swear repeatedly with pleasure after a few minutes of this, with Ian’s name mixed in among the curses.

Ian hears himself making sounds  that he never has before as Mickey works into a rougher pace, Ian pushing him the entire time with calls of,  _harder_! It feels fucking amazing as Mickey passionately drives into him, but even hotter than that for Ian is watching his face as he fucks him.

He’s hot and sweaty, almost entirely gone in ecstasy, until he lowers his piercing blue eyes directly into Ian’s. He lowers his mouth down to his neck, nuzzling into it slightly.

And then Ian feels his teeth.  

There’s the slightest prick of pain as Mickey bites him, but mostly it drives Ian crazy, and he feels himself leaking onto the bed more heavily in response.

Mickey removes his teeth from his neck, and pants into it heavily before lifting himself back upwards, and glancing down at Ian’s leaking cock.

Without stopping, he looks back up at Ian’s face, triumph in his eyes. His teeth clench as he continues to fuck Ian hard, who let’s his body rock with the waves of pleasure as he groans and cries out at different spots.

Mickey sounds feral as he approaches his breaking point and he cries out “ _I fucking love you Ian_ ”.

Ian feels himself lifting a hand in response, thinking of what Mickey had said to him earlier. He wraps his fingers around Mickey’s neck, and then delivers enough pressure to choke him just slightly.  

Mickey’s eyes glaze at his action, “ _I’m gonna fucking cum_ ”.

He is too focused on what he is doing to move a hand down to Ian’s cock, so he does it himself, closing his eyes at the overwhelming and electric pleasure flooding throughout his entire body as he jerks himself off simultaneously while Mickey fucks him in the ass.

“Fuckkk…” Mickey suddenly moans, jerking into Ian unsteadily as he comes, Ian’s own orgasm releasing upwards onto him just second later. “I’m…I can’t…” Mickey is drenched in sweat, his face red from exertion, as he struggles to get his words out, a look that brings Ian a deep satisfaction.

He finally just shakes his head happily, and pulls out as slowly as he can, Ian’s eyes suddenly widening at the unfamiliar sensation, _is he_ …?

“You’re fine” Mickey tells him firmly. He collapses beside Ian on the bed, “That fuckin weird feeling is normal. You didn’t, you know-“  “Shit myself?” Ian grins, wiping his hand over his stomach, damp from both sweat and cum.  

Mickey breathes out in amusement, “No”.

 _Phew_. He’s relieved to hear that sensation is normal, as much as he loves Mickey, that would be pretty fucking embarrassing to deal with.

Mickey interrupts his thoughts a moment later. “Fuck that was amazing. I never enjoyed fucking someone as much as I did right there” he says, looking at Ian in wonder. “Well I never thought I’d enjoy getting fucked” Ian tells him. “Did you?” Mickey pants, suddenly looking concerned.

Ian points at his messy stomach teasingly, “Clearly, I fucking loved it”. He kisses Mickey firmly, and then presses his sweaty forehead onto the other boy’s. “I feel gross now though, can we shower?”

Mickey nods, and they both get up from the bed slowly, Ian feeling slightly awkward as he walks behind him towards the bathroom.

“You alright?” Mickey says, glancing back at him as he leans to crank the shower dial on. “Hurts a little” Ian admits, “But mostly it’s good”. “Takes time to get used to it, if you want Advil or anything, lemme know” Mickey says, stepping under the water.

Ian shakes his head, happily getting into the shower after him, “We’ve never done this before. Showered together”. Mickey moves to make room for him under the stream of hot water, “Guess not. It's a night of firsts”.

“Another time, when I’m not so tired, we’ll have to…” Ian trails off suggestively, and Mickey grins, “Yeah, yeah. Give yourself a break for tonight, Gallagher”.

He nods and presses his forehead to Mickey’s, water running like comforting rain down over their backs. They stay like that for a while, until he whispers, “ _I love you so much_ ”.

Mickey kisses his wet lips and then runs his hand down over his arm, squeezing it gently, “I love you too”.

He’s quiet for a while, and then he adds, “You know, sometimes it scares me how fuckin much”.

It’s a sentiment that Ian can understand completely.


	28. My Fucking Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian worries about what to do for Valentine's Day. Mickey doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter is cheesy as hell just because it's about Valentine's Day lol. The next chapter will be the second half of it and I'm still working on it.

Ian paces across his bedroom anxiously, pausing every so often, and shaking his head at the stupid ideas he keeps coming up with. Eventually his brother Lip sighs in annoyance from his bunk bed, “You wanna tell me what’s got you all worked up?” He puts down his advanced calculus textbook and looks at him impatiently.

Ian considers his older brother’s offer, and decides it couldn’t hurt to try and get some ideas from him. Lip had been dating since he was nine after all, so maybe he could be of some practical use here. “So, Valentine’s Day is this Friday” Ian says, offhandedly.  

Lip chuckles and looks up at him is disbelief, “ _That’s_ what has you pacing around our room like a nervous fucking race horse?”

That’s exactly what has Ian pacing around his room like a nervous fucking race horse. On Monday morning, the school hallways had been decorated with cheesy hearts and cupids in preparation for Valentine’s Day, something Ian had noticed every previous year but never really paid attention to.

Until Mickey had turned to him at lunch later that day and said, “So, are you like my fucking Valentine or whatever?” “I guess so” Ian had answered, even though he was pretty sure neither of them actually knew what that fucking meant.

He flips his brother off in response, and Lip holds up his hands in mock apology. “Sorry bro, didn’t even know you had girlfriend. Maybe if you told me about this shit once and a while…” Ian shakes his head uncomfortably, “I don’t. It’s…my friend does. And wants to know, what they should get for…uh, for…”

Lip interrupts, seeing what he’s getting at, “…Flowers and chocolate, duh. Pretty simple shit Ian. Girls don’t care if it’s cliché, they fucking love that stuff”.

Ian scratches the back of his neck, “Well, I don’t know if _this girl_ would. She’s not really girly. Like at all”. He thinks of Mickey, who had gotten a detention the other day for spitting at Brent in Chemistry class, because he laughed when Mickey answered the teacher’s question incorrectly.

He can’t really picture himself giving that boy flowers and chocolate, and it going over all too well.

Lip is quiet, frowning at this new piece of information, like he isn’t sure what to do with it. “Well, what would _you_ want from someone, on Valentine’s Day?” Ian asks, trying to reroute the conversation.

His brother shrugs, “I don’t really buy into that shit, but I guess if I had to choose…blowjob, or anal. Whatever she was holding out on before”.

Well that doesn’t fucking help either. He sighs impatiently, “That’s not…he _loves_ this… girl”.

“Then he should fucking know what to get her” Lip says, laughing, “I don’t know why you’re asking me, or he’s asking you, about what his own friggin girlfriend would want. Sounds like he’s a dumbass”.

He returns his attention to his calculus, effectively shutting his younger brother out. Ian reddens slightly, even though his brother doesn’t realize he’s insulting _him_. He decides to drop the subject, going back to sit on his bed in defeat. He picks up his Chemistry book and skims over the pages like he is studying, but really, he’s still wracking his brain.

He’s never really had a boyfriend before, but everyone else with boyfriends and girlfriends at school has been talking all fucking week about what they are going to do for their partners on Friday, and it seems like he should probably do the same, even if him and Mickey are just a couple in secret. They do little things for each other all the time, and it’s easy, but as soon as you put a name on a day like that, the pressure mounts.

He approaches Mickey near the end of the next school day while he’s rooting through his locker, and stares at him after he says hey, looking for some hint of what to get him.

What would be special enough for _Mickey Milkovich_? No flowers, no chocolate, and as much as Mickey would probably like cigarettes or booze, that doesn’t seem right either. In fact, it’s probably better to avoid something wrapped entirely, Ian muses. That way there’s no evidence to be found by his dad, or anyone else, that Mickey might have a partner in his life.

Mickey shuts his locker, and as they head towards history class, he finally notices that Ian is still staring at him. He looks startled, “What the fuck are you looking at?”

Ian quickly looks away, and casually shakes his head. “Nothing”.

Mickey seems to accept that response, much to Ian’s relief, and rubs at a dirty spot on his hand before looking back at him again hopefully, “Wanna hang out after school?”

As they sit down in their seats for history class, Ian reluctantly answers with, “Can’t. Working, remember?”

He’s distracted that night at the Kash & Grab anyways though, thinking about Mickey. It would be so much easier if he could just take him out, like a normal boyfriend would, on Valentine’s Day. Grab dinner, see a movie…but even if they just went out as ‘friends’ that night, it would look weird, wouldn’t it? Why would two straight guys, especially with one of them being a notorious thug in the South Side, go out for dinner together on Valentine’s Day, of all days?

Fuck it. Ian has just about given up hope on what to do for Mickey, when his gaze suddenly drifts across the rack of magazines in the Kash & Grab, and something catches his eye.

He goes around the counter and over to the rack, picking up one of the copies of National Geographic and flipping through it’s pages until he finds what was advertised on it’s cover. He nods his head as he looks at it, and smiles. He had figured out what he was going to do. It’s not going to be wrapped, and no one will ever see it, but _everyone will_. It’s perfect.

_Valentine’s Day_

Ian doesn’t see Mickey in the morning like he does most days, because he has his monthly early morning meeting with the other members of his cadets program, so they could discuss what their next charity fundraiser would be.

They finally agree a program, Ian nursing a to-go cup of coffee the entire time, and as they leave the ROTC building to head to school, he hears one of the other cadets swear, and someone else demanding, “Who the fuck did that? That wasn’t there this morning!”

Ian lifts his sleepy head to find out what everyone else is staring at, and feels his face break into a grin once he sees it. Someone had done a fresh spray-paint on the wall just outside the front entrance of the ROTC building.

It’s a crude, dripping red heart with ARMY sprayed inside of it.

When he gets to school, he sees Mickey waiting by his locker, who grins as he approaches.

Ian wants to grab him and sneak him off into the bathroom, so he can kiss him all over for his unconventional valentine, but as he gets closer he just ends up staring at him curiously.

Mickey looks… different. He’s completely scrubbed clean, his hair is neatly combed, and his outfit isn’t dirty, torn, or even offensive in any particular way. Huh...

“You have fun at cadets, Army?” Mickey laughs softly as Ian reaches him. He immediately forgets about his slightly unusual appearance and grins, “I had a great time. Made my day, coming out and seeing that”. He doesn’t even care that he’ll probably be the one that has to scrub it off the wall next time he’s in, but he does wish it could stay there forever.

He’s still in a good mood over it when he finds Mickey underneath the bleachers at lunch.

“Just so you know, I have something for you too. But you have to wait until tonight to get it” he informs his boyfriend, who’s tossing one of his cigarette butts away.

Mickey sort of laughs uneasily, “I wasn’t really fucking expecting anything. All I did was spray paint on a wall.... and not to sound like a dick, but you know I can’t really bring anything home, that would be pretty fuckin obvious”.

“It’s not something you can bring home” Ian glances around. Luckily, because it’s cold out, most students are completely avoiding the icy field, and he doesn’t see anybody nearby.

“I _wanted_ to get you something. And I could afford to this time, not like Christmas”. He presses his lips against Mickey’s, who hums slightly into the kiss.

“Is my present you, firecrotch?”

Ian feels his face break into a smile, and he leans down to nuzzle his boyfriend’s neck, but then quickly pulls away. “What is that??” he asks, bewildered.

Mickey frowns in annoyance at his unexpected reaction, “What is what?”

“You don’t smell like you, at all! What… are you wearing cologne??” he stares at Mickey, who reddens slightly. He huffs defensively, “What’s wrong with fucking cologne?” “Well you never fucking wear it, for starters. And you’re dressed differently too” Ian points out.

Mickey looks disappointed now, and he quickly lights a cigarette to give himself something to do, “Thought maybe you’d like it if I looked, better, I don’t fucking know. Aren’t you supposed to make an effort and shit on Valentines’ Day?”

Ian’s shoulders droop slightly, he’s just too fucking adorable. “I do like it, but better? Nah, you look amazing all the time. And honestly, I like the way you normally smell better, it’s so-”. Mickey holds up his hand to make him shut up, “Alright Gallagher, Jesus. Sorry for fuckin trying”.

He rolls his eyes as he says it though, and Ian is pretty sure he sees a flicker of pleasure in there too, “You’re a handsome motherfucker, makes me think I should try and fucking keep up with you”, Mickey grins.

Ian holds his boyfriend’s hand and swings it gently, “Honestly Mick, when I saw you this morning, it threw me off at first. But you do look…really fucking good. I wish I could have kissed you right there at my locker…” he trails off thoughtfully for a moment. The bell suddenly rings, and Mickey raises his eyebrow at Ian as he continues, even as they abandon the bleachers.

“It’s really not fair, everyone else today is going around fucking kissing and hugging their boyfriends and girlfriends, and I have to hide under the bleachers just to hold your damn hand”.

They are crossing the school grounds and heading back towards the main building, now an appropriate distance apart, when Mickey says rather guiltily, “Sorry”.

Ian shakes his head, “It’s not your fault. Just wish we could do… normal couple shit. So everyone could see how much I care about you”.

He stops in front of the door to his shop class once they get there, and looks at Mickey, who clears his throat before he heads into his own class, “Well…see you later I guess. And Ian, I want that shit too. Just so you know”.

Ian nods his understanding before he goes inside his own class, and takes a seat. He’s really not trying to make Mickey feel guilty, or blame him, at all. As much as it sucks, they are both in this shitty situation _together_.

And he thinks together, is the most important part of that equation.


	29. Sky Full of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey spend a romantic Valentine's Day evening together, where Ian shows Mickey his special gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd dose of some Valentine's Day fluff haha

Ian parts his lips just slightly, watching the thin stream of smoke escape from between them and drift upwards into the night sky, separating and fading in front of the stars.

It’s a brisk night, but he finds the cool February air just as refreshing as the bird’s eye view in front of him. He is waiting patiently for Mickey to arrive at the construction site on Roger’s Street, but instead of their usual building on the ground, with _fuck_ spray-painted over it, he has chosen a much taller one with an accessible rooftop for tonight, for a very particular reason.

He soon gets a text from Mickey saying that he is there, but Mo finds him first, letting out a friendly woof that Ian turns at the sound of. He must have tracked him through the staircases of the building by his scent. Mo comes up to where he is sitting at the edge and gives him a lick in greeting.

He’d become a lot friendlier towards Ian, once he had realized that Ian was _not only_ not a threat to his owner, but also clearly loved by him.  

“Careful Mo, watch the edge” Ian murmurs, as Mo sniffs at it curiously. He scratches the dog’s fuzzy head until Mickey appears at the top of the stairs, smoke drifting away from his perfect mouth as he tosses away his finished cigarette.

That little smile shows up on Mickey’s face, the one that always appears when he first sees Ian. But then he looks curious, “So why exactly did I have to wait until it was fuckin dark out Gallagher? And what’s wrong with our usual spot?”

“C’mere”.

Ian gestures for Mickey to sit down beside him, and Mickey obediently crosses the rooftop to join him at the edge. For a moment or so, the two of them just sit on top of the tall skeletal concrete building, dangling their legs over the edge comfortably, and appreciating the view.

Ian can tell Mickey is still somewhat impatient though, so passes his cigarette over to Mickey, who gladly takes it, while Ian digs in his pocket for the paper he had carefully folded into it earlier.

He hands Mickey the paper once he extracts it, and Mickey takes it from him, leaving his cigarette propped in his mouth as he inspects it.

His eyes scan over the page once, before he reaches into his pocket to take out his phone and use its screen as a flashlight.

He reads from the paper aloud once it’s illuminated, “Binary Star Description - Binary star is a system of two stars… where one star revolves around the other. Both stars may also revolve around a common centre. These stars are very bright… and visible from any point on earth”.

Ian had been looking up at the night sky, drinking in its depths, but he feels Mickey’s eyes on him, and he turns to see Mickey’s blue eyes now following his own. The dark-haired boy looks surprised, his eyes blinking rapidly as he looks out at the night sky in disbelief.

“You got me a star?”

His sharp eyebrows lift just slightly as he looks back down, and rereads the paper, his mouth a little open. Ian had been a little worried Mickey might think the idea was lame but he actually looks… touched. “Well, us. I bought us two stars, actually” he answers, tapping on the binary part of the description.

He’d liked the idea from the moment he saw it, the notion of the two stars revolving around each other, or sharing a common centre, but after today especially…after a day spent hiding their affection for each other…it felt even more right.

This, their system of two stars, was visible anywhere on earth, even if no one could see Mickey and Ian together.

“Where are they?” Mickey asks, his eyes roaming over the dark sky, and the vast expanse of stars curiously.

Ian answers rather sheepishly, “Well the coordinates are on there… but I don’t actually know. Don’t have a telescope or anything to actually find them with”.

He kicks himself internally as he realizes maybe he should have considered that.

Mickey shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter dude. It’s up there. They’re up there, together”. He turns to Ian and puts his arm around him, holding him close, who asks, “You don’t think it’s dumb?”

Mickey shakes his head adamantly, “I think it’s really fucking cool. Really…special. No one’s ever done something like that for me before”.

Ian sighs with relief and grins, his boyfriend doing the same, as they look down at the dark ground, so far below them. “Makes your head rush, doesn’t it?” he asks. “Mmm”, Mickey looks back at him, and Ian can’t help himself. “I brought a blanket, I thought maybe we could spread it out…look up for a while”.

Mickey raises his eyebrows, noticing the subtle undertone in his voice, but not verbally commenting on it, other than whistling for Mo to go home without him. The dog had been sniffing around the rooftop until then, but now obediently takes off down the steps stretching throughout the building towards it’s exit.

Mickey gets up and joins Ian, as he takes the blanket out from his backpack and lays it flat on the concrete.

“Lay down beside me” Ian puts his hand down on the empty space as he looks upwards, and he feels Mickey shifting onto the blanket beside him.

Something about being up there, unable to see anything but the never-ending sky, brimming with stars, and the feeling of having Mickey beside him, makes his heart race, and he turns his head to look at him.

He reaches forward and runs his fingers through Mickey’s black hair, moving his hand to cradle the back of his head, drawing him close.

Mickey doesn’t protest, rolling across the blanket to rest on top of Ian’s chest. Ian soon feels his tattooed hand reaching underneath his jacket, to rest over his heart while they kiss.

His heart begins to beat faster, and he kisses Mickey harder, who grips the sleeves of his jacket in response, tugging them downwards.

Neither one of them open their eyes as they undress each other, only stopping when they feel completely bare skin.

Ian’s eyes flicker open to see Mickey laying over him, naked, their toned chests touching as they work into a more fevered pace of kissing. He looks over Mickey’s body appreciatively, drinking in the details, just as he did with the night sky.

His pale skin, marked with scrapes and scars, and faint freckles. His incredible body, and strong muscles. His dark black hair, cut short, and now spiked erratically from Ian’s hands running through it, after he had so carefully combed it. And his sharp eyebrows, that are now completely relaxed as they perch above thoughtful, but concerned blue eyes. Mickey seems to be taking Ian in with the same deep thoughts, and he wonders briefly what Mickey thinks when he looks at him.

“I don’t deserve you” Mickey whispers, answering his unspoken question.

Ian reaches a thumb up to his beautiful eyes, and brushes away the start of an unfallen tear, “Don’t talk like that. You’re fucking amazing”.

He leans upwards and kisses Mickey’s neck lovingly, holding the side of his face and tracing his jawline with fondness as Mickey forgets his fears and kisses him back.

Even though it’s cold out, the heat both of them are giving off while they work into each other keeps them pleasantly warm, their temperatures spiking higher as the loving kisses turn into more passionate ones.

Ian stretches his arms around Mickey, pulling him against his chest more tightly as he sits up, the other boy now resting in his lap.

“I want you to ride me” he murmurs into Mickey’s ear, who bites his lip and rolls his neck slightly at the sound of Ian’s husky voice.

Ian supports the dark-haired boy with his strong arms as he rests over his thighs, positioning himself over Ian’s erection carefully.

He looks down into Ian’s hooded eyes lovingly before he slowly lowers himself, and both of them groan as they connect. Neither one of them want to pull their lips away from each other, so they kiss passionately for a while as Mickey momentarily stays there, reveling in the fullness, Ian in the warm tightness.

Mickey leans back slightly to start moving up and down, and Ian reluctantly lets his lips go, but he wraps his arm around the other boy’s back, spreading his hand across it to support him while he moves. Mickey holds onto one of his thighs for balance too, as he works into a steadier pace, using Ian’s cock to pleasure himself in just the right way.

Ian can’t move, because of the way he is sitting beneath him, but he doesn’t need to thrust upwards anyways, because Mickey is working him perfectly. He’s getting off just watching Mickey do the same, both of them starting to pant more heavily.

“So good Mick, you’re riding me so fucking good” Ian moans, closing his eyes. Without having to worry about thrusting or pushing into the other boy in a certain way to maximize Mickey’s pleasure, he can completely focus on his own, incredible, pleasure.

He hears Mickey gasp in response, as he moves himself down more harshly, purposely rubbing into his prostate with Ian’s cock. “Are you close?” Mickey chokes out, clearly struggling to hold on.

Ian bites his shoulder gently, nodding his head in confirmation. He brings his free hand to his mouth and spits onto it, before moving it down to Mickey’s cock that is wedged in between their stomachs. He strokes it firmly, using the spit for lube.

Mickey immediately shifts into his finishing pace, and Ian closes his eyes for each explicit and wonderfully tight final sliding movement on his cock. He feels hot wet stickiness explode over his hand and onto their stomachs, and with a final groan and a _Fuck!_ he spills his seed inside Mickey, who is now exhausted, from doing all of the incredible work.

Ian kisses his forehead lovingly as Mickey slowly gets off of him, shaking slightly from the loss. Sweaty and no longer moving quickly, they both start to feel the cold and redress, Ian moving the blanket to drape over their shoulders while they huddle together.

They sit there quietly for a long time, looking up at the stars in the sky appreciatively, thinking about where theirs might be. This is the first real Valentine’s Day that he’s ever had, Ian thinks. That he actually shared with someone he loved. He never would have expected it to be this special.

Mickey suddenly clears his throat, and Ian looks over at him as he speaks.

“I actually got you something too Ian. After we talked at lunch, I was thinking about what you said, and…” He pulls two tickets out of his pocket and hands them to Ian. His eyebrows raise as he looks at them, “The school dance?”

Mickey nods, looking a little nervous. “I know we can’t go as like a couple or anything, but I thought maybe it would sort of make up for it, if we could go as friends, at least”.

Ian beams at his boyfriend, “I can’t wait”. Mickey relaxes, “I don’t fucking dance though Ian, just so you know”.

He just grins, not worried, “Bring some booze, you’ll dance”.

They turn their gazes back up to the sky, looking at the stars again.

“Can’t believe you got me a star” Mickey says after a while, and as Ian looks over he sees he is smiling at the sky once more in disbelief.

Ian’s feeling especially cheerful now, and he can’t help but tease the adorable guy in front of him. “Valentine, you’re my _hole_ world”.

Mickey doesn’t get it at first, until Ian bursts out laughing, and then he slugs him in the shoulder as he begins to laugh too.  “I fuckin love you Gallagher, you know that? You’re my best friend”.

He knows.


	30. Suits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian's POVS about getting ready for the school dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included a bit of Mickey's POV here :) The dance will be split into three chapters, and I think it's kind of cute to add his perspective too. This whole thing will contain a ton of fluff, and I'm not fucking apologizing, because I love it :D

Fiona struggles to balance Liam on her hip as she watches Ian paw through the suits on the sales rack. “That one looks nice” she says, pointing to one. Ian takes it off the rack and pulls out the price tag, holding it up for her inspection.

Finally, a suit they can agree on.

She shakes her head, “That’s a little more than I was thinking”.

Damn.

He’s a little disappointed, but he puts it back without argument. He’s grateful she agreed to help pay for a suit to begin with, because he'd drained all his savings on Valentine's Day. Fiona of course, doesn't know that though.

She looks sincerely apologetic, “I do want you to have a nice one, I know these school dances are important. It’s just, you grow so fast, you’re already getting taller than Lip”.

“I know”. He tries not to sound like he’s complaining, but it’s a little difficult.

Lip’s going to the school dance too, it’s for grade 11’s _and_ 12’s, but _he_ doesn’t need a new suit, and gets to avoid the stress of trying to find a new (affordable) one. It makes Ian’s budget slightly higher, but he is still severely limited, as he just got a new one last year.

He doesn’t remember seeing Mickey at that dance, but then again, he probably didn’t even go to it, Ian thinks.

They finally give up on the men’s clothing store, and go to a thrift shop instead, where Ian eventually finds a suit in his budget range. It’s not too bad, he thinks, looking at himself in the mirror, although he’s not sure he’d go as far as Fiona’s “Amazing!!” to describe himself.

He waits somewhat nervously for Mickey to show up on Friday night, while the rest of his family hovers in the living room around him and Lip, who are both in their tuxes and ready to go.

Lip keeps joking about his date, Jenna Briggs, that he had refused to pick up at her house beforehand, so she wouldn’t think it was anything serious. Apparently he _had_ eventually been given the opportunity to test out her new mattress with her, and it had led to a second date.  

Fiona just rolls her eyes at Lip, and turns her attention to her younger brother instead. “You’re so handsome Ian. I don’t understand why you didn’t ask a girl to the dance, I bet any one of them would have been happy to go with you.”

He’s not so sure about the handsome part of that statement. He cleaned up nice, sure. But he still spent a good solid half hour glaring at the freckles he hadn’t outgrown in the mirror, while he was getting ready, and wishing he had a skin tone somewhere in between the current shades of pale, and red. Both of which he felt contrasted rather unfortunately with his bright red hair.

As for the second part of her statement, he is ready with a response that he had thought up before he had even told them he was going to the dance.

“If you go with a girl, you’re stuck with just her the whole night. Go solo, and have your choice when you get there”.

Lip nods approvingly at him, “Thatta boy, little bro. See? He gets it”. Ian grins, glad his excuse has completely thrown them off his trail.

“Don’t bring a girl, got it” Carl makes a mental note to himself out loud as he listens to his older brothers attentively, and Fiona rolls her eyes again, right as they hear the doorbell ring.

Debbie’s standing closest to it, and opens the door.

Mickey’s standing there, a slight smile on his face as he nods at Debbie.

 

 **_*Mickey’s POV_ ** _\- earlier that night *****_

Mickey lets out a nervous rush of air from his mouth as he checks over his appearance one more time in the mirror. Not too shabby...

Lucky for him, one of his cousins had a wedding in the summer, and the suit he’d worn to it still fits him perfectly, highlighting his broad shoulders and chest. He’d been telling Mo to fuck off for the past hour, trying to avoid getting any stray dog hairs on it. He’s already done everything else he needs to do to get ready.

He’d ironed his white dress shirt (it took him three times to get it right). He’d dug out his semi-casual dress shoes from their deeply buried place in the front closet. He’d carefully brushed and combed his black hair into a style he felt suited him.

But as he considers his reflection anxiously in the mirror, something still feels off. 

A tie!

That’s it, a fucking tie. He digs through his closet some more, and pulls out a various assortment of ties, holding each one up to his neck in the mirror and dropping the rejects to the ground. The blue one looks alright he thinks, sorta makes his eyes look good. Ian’s always going on about his eyes.

He glances at his final appearance. Fuck, why’d he have to be so goddamn pale. Pale white skin looks good on Ian, but Mickey had always felt his own made him look drawn out. His blue eyes look sharp, and nervous, and he tries to relax his face. He really, really, doesn’t want to do this. Dances are not his thing. School events, are not his fucking thing.

But Ian, Ian’s his thing, and Ian wants to go. So he’s going.

He puts a tiny dot of cologne on his neck before he leaves his bedroom and goes to the kitchen, carefully filling his silver flask with whiskey from the top of the fridge.

He heads towards the front door once he's done, pausing behind his dad, who is sitting on the couch and watching a football game while he waits. Aunt Sylvie is coming to pick him up, and he is staying at her place for the weekend. Good fucking riddance, Mickey thinks. He had told his dad last week that him and Ian were going to the dance to pick up chicks to bang, and his dad had grunted approvingly from behind his beer bottle, but made no other comment.

Mickey stares at the back of his thick neck and head, and flips him off. He heads outside without saying a word to him, knowing he couldn’t care less about what Mickey was up to tonight. He didn’t even take a picture of Mandy in her fucking dress before she left the house with her excited friends, so Mickey fucking did, seeing how disappointed she was.

It’s cold as tits out as he walks to the Gallagher's house, not as cold as it was a couple months ago, but still not quite spring yet, and he regrets not bringing a jacket. He starts to reach into his pocket for his cigarettes, but reluctantly puts them away before he brings one to his lips. He doesn’t want to show up smelling like smoke.

He doesn’t know much about these things, dances, dating, whatever. But he knows that he wants it to be perfect for Ian. All he’s wanted, since he met that goofy fucking ginger, was to make him smile.

He takes a deep breath, and tells himself to calm the fuck down before he knocks on the door. He can hear the Gallaghers from inside already, sounds like they’re all right behind the fucking thing.

Jesus. Alright, here it goes.

He raps on the door with his tattooed knuckles, and it swings open a moment later. He’s was right, they are all standing there…but he only sees him.

Ian.

He looks incredible. Mickey had been so worried about looking good for his boyfriend that he’d completely forgotten to let himself look forward to seeing him in a suit, too. Ian’s dressed in a classic black suit, like Mickey, with a white dress shirt underneath, but his tie is grey and striped instead of blue.

But really, he could be dressed in anything, and Mickey would always be in awe seeing him.

He loved everything about that boy, his ivory skin, his emerald green eyes, his flaming red hair, his shy smile. His laugh, the way he shifted in place when he was nervous, like right now. Mickey’s heart squeezes at the sight of him, as he quickly reminds himself to nod at Debbie for opening the front door.

**_*Ian’s POV_ ** _\- right now *****_

Ian’s eyes fall on Mickey… and then everything feels like it’s in slow motion. He looks…amazing.

He’s wearing a classic black tux with a white dress shirt underneath it, and a tie that matches the ocean blue of his eyes, although nothing fabricated can ever truly compare to the color of them.

His dark black hair is neatly gelled and combed too, but he still has that flicker of rebellion underneath it all, especially pronounced by the prominent _FUCK U-UP_   tattoos on his hands.

His dark eyebrow twitches just slightly as he takes in Ian’s appearance, a note of approval in his eyes.

Fiona ushers him into the house, “Mickey, you look amazing!”

He looks like he doesn’t even notice her, as he goes to stand beside Lip, and Ian, who is still speechless.

“Look at you two, all nervous to go to the dance and get the girls. You look great, you’ll have so much fun” Fiona reassures them.

She waves her hand to get the three of them closer together, “Let me get some pictures!” Mickey goes along without protest, and stands with the two Gallagher brothers patiently for several shots. Liam even gets in one of them, with Mickey and Ian both leaning on one knee while he stands in between them, beaming with pride to be standing with the two older boys.  

Mickey surprisingly obliges to do some of the more stupid poses Fiona requests, like the James Bond, or one of him and Ian pretending like they are gonna beat up Lip. He actually starts to laugh at the last one, and Lip shakes his head after. “Alright, alright. Gonna grab a smoke real quick. Be ready for a cab in ten”.

He heads out onto the porch, and Fiona addresses Ian and Mickey, who are still standing there.

“Now a couple of just you two. Ian and his wingman! You guys will steal all the other suckers dates” Ian feels himself grin as Mickey throws a heavy arm over his shoulder.

 Yeah, _wingman_. Wish she knew Mickey _is_ my fucking date, he thinks, as she gives them a thumbs up and takes a picture.


	31. The Heart Wants What It Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian show up at the dance under the guise of being eachother's wingmen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for 53 subs and all the kudos <3

Lip ditches the two of them as soon as they get to the school to look for his date, but Ian and Mickey linger outside for another moment, looking up at the gym’s doors together.

One of them is propped open just slightly, giving them a preview of what's going on inside. Although it’s fairly dark, with the regular lights turned off, there are still strobes of colorful light flashing throughout the gym from the DJ's table. Pulsating music pumps through all the speakers and the teenagers dancing inside.

Ian looks over at Mickey, who takes his flask out from his jacket and takes a generous drag of whiskey before he nods and heads into the gymnasium. Ian’s heart beats faster as he’s enveloped into the typical highschool dance scene as soon as he steps foot inside, but this time… it feels different.

He’s not here alone, and it _is_ different. Better somehow. He follows Mickey through the groups of students, spotting several that he knows along the way. He sees Brent and Becca’s group dancing close to the stage where the DJ is set up. Brent’s flashing a cocky smile at the girls dancing near him. Ian makes a mental note to avoid that area for the night, now wondering where exactly Mickey is headed, because he sure as hell seems sure of where he’s going.

He fights the urge to grab Mickey’s hand and let himself be led through the crowd, instead of tagging after him like a puppy. Of course, Mickey would probably smack his hand away if he tried. He sees Mickey’s sister Mandy dancing with her friends and wonders briefly if that’s his destination, but he continues on past her towards the back wall, leaning against it comfortably and taking another drink from his flask when he gets there.

Ian stops directly in front of him, “What are you doing?”

Mickey looks at him like he’s stupid, “Uh, drinking?” He shakes the flask in his hand subtly, eyeing where the teachers are positioned around the gym.

“Yeah I see that. It’s a dance Mickey, let’s dance” Ian gestures behind them to all the other students already dancing hard to the Rihanna hit, and then looks back at Mickey challengingly. There’s no way he’s gonna let Mickey just be a wallflower tonight. His suit was too damn expensive.

Mickey rolls his eyes, and takes another long pull from his flask. But then he tucks it back inside his jacket.“Fuck. Fine Gallagher, you win”.

He heads back out the dancefloor, and Ian grins as he joins Mickey where there’s just enough free space for two people.

He lets the beat guide his movements for the next song. Dancing is easy for him, natural. It always has been. The music moves his body, and he just lets himself go. It’s a little harder for Mickey, who keeps trying to glance around subtly to see what everyone else is doing.

Ian knows that he doesn’t like looking like a fucking idiot unless he’s actually trying to, like he does in class sometimes _on purpose_ just to piss off their teachers, and right now he looks very uncomfortable.  

“Hey”, Ian yells to him over the music, “Focus on me. Just focus on me”. He gestures to his own body, and how he’s dancing, to lead Mickey.

Mickey nods slowly, and watches him more closely, copying his moves. They aren’t the only pairs of best friends, male or female, that are mixed in among the entire large group of students, and they don’t stand out.

But Mickey stands out to Ian, he’s all that he sees.

The stocky, dark-haired boy takes off his jacket and loosens his tie as they both begin to sweat, the humid heat in the gymnasium rising as the night goes on. Each time the strobe passes over him and illuminates his face, Ian feels an incredibly strong pull towards him.

He eventually tries to move in a bit closer, but Mickey instantly moves away, like he’s alarmed by the possibility of Ian’s touch. It stings a little but Ian’s not surprised, and pretends he doesn’t notice. Obviously, he crossed some line there. It’s hard not to, with this unbelievably hot guy dancing in front of him, but at least no one had noticed.

Mickey takes his flask out a while later, taking another heavy gulp before he offers it to Ian. He drinks from it greedily, thirstier from dancing than he is eager to get drunk.

“Put that shit away!” Mickey yells a moment later, and Ian looks over his shoulder to see Quinn, their religion teacher, rapidly approaching them, a scowl on her wrinkled face. He shoves the flask down his pants before she reaches them.

She looks suspiciously at his hands as she arrives, and continues on once she finds them empty, but not before shooting them both with a disapproving look.

Mickey grins at Ian, who laughs, even though it can’t be heard over the music. _Electric Love_ is blaring through the speakers now.

Ian feels himself loosening up even more from the alcohol and dances with more exaggeration.  

Mickey is apparently feeling the same effect. “ _Baby you're like lightning in a bottle, I can't let you go now that I got it_!” he yells at him with the song. Ian goes next, beaming as he sings, “ _All I need is to be struck by your electric looooove_!”

They both laugh happily once he is finished, and Mickey shoves him playfully, his eyes shining. The look on his face makes Ian forget himself, again, and he moves in for a kiss.

“What the fuck are you doing!” Mickey immediately shoves him away, and Ian blinks, looking around in nervously as he remembers himself, but luckily no one had seemed to notice. He touches his chin in embarrassment, as Mickey chews the inside of his cheek awkwardly.

He looks at something past Ian, eyes narrowed, and his expression changes. “I’ll be right back”.

Ian turns to watch him go talk to his sister Mandy, who looks completely shitfaced.

He keeps pointing at the door and talking animatedly to her more sober friend. Finally, he nods his head and returns to Ian, telling him “She’s staying with her friends tonight, can’t hold her fuckin liquor” right as the song fades into a slow one.

The mood inside the gymnasium immediately shifts to a more romantic one.

Mickey scratches his neck awkwardly, and then goes to stand against the back wall again.

Ian reluctantly follows him. He bites his lip. Instead of talking to his boyfriend, who seems content to have his own lips pressed to his flask, looks at all the couples slow dancing.

 _“Come if you remember the way._  
_If not then I will find you this time,_  
_Wishing you had stayed_ ”

Foreheads touching, slowly swaying together. Lips meeting in tender kisses, I love you’s being whispered…Ian sees it all with an aching longing in his chest.

 _“The heart, the heart_  
_It wants what it wants_ ”  
  
Their classmate Becca suddenly comes up to them out of nowhere, and turns to Mickey specifically.

“Come dance with me? You can’t just stand back here during a slow dance, like a loser”. Ian looks down at her low cut shimmery red dress with distaste as she ambushes _his_ boyfriend.

She smiles coquettishly, and Mickey freezes, “Uh…” He looks up, and Ian joins his gaze to see Brent staring at them from across the room, “…sure”.

Ian bites his tongue, and watches them walk away together bitterly.  Another one of his classmates, Teresa, approaches him almost instantly, seeing him alone and seizing her chance. “Ian? Wanna dance?” He turns to her and shakes his head apologetically, “Sorry. Don’t feel well”.

He doesn’t have the fight in him right now to pretend. She nods, looking disappointed, but moves on. He returns his gaze to where Mickey and Becca are on the dancefloor, now slow dancing together.

 _"_ _The heart does_  
_It wants what it wants, t_ _he heart, the heart_ ”

It feels like something inside Ian is breaking, as he watches him hold her close. Her eyes are closed, a content smile resting on her face as she leans her head against Mickey’s shoulder. That’s supposed to be _him_ in Mickey’s arms, not her…

Mickey has some sort of forced smile plastered on his face too, and even though Ian knows it’s for show, it still makes him feel sick. In that moment, he hates Becca more than he has ever hated anyone before. She is exactly where he is supposed to be, he thinks, as he turns his eyes to Mickey again.  

 _“So how do I forget this my love,_  
_And when do I belong here?_  
_If trouble is a pathway we build,_  
_Then I’m a pioneer”_  
  
Ian feels himself tearing up, and before he knows it, he’s out of the gymnasium, and running down the street.


	32. Will You Dance With Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tries his best to cheer Ian up, and make it up to him for the dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter, hope you guys do too <3  
> This fic is gonna return to the normal sort of day-to-day of Ian's sole POV next chapter before things ramp up again

***Mickey’s POV** \- from just before *****

Mickey presses his back against the gymnasium’s cool wall, noticing Ian joins him there without comment. Well there’s really not much to fucking say, he supposes, it’s not like they can slow dance together in front of everyone.

He unscrews his flask and takes a sip, chancing a look over at Ian while he listens to the song. Something about a heart wanting what it wants. Accurate, he thinks, looking at the handsome redhead standing next to him. Ian’s not looking back at him though, he’s looking out at all the couples slow dancing together in the gym. Mickey follows his gaze.

It would be nice to slow dance with Ian like that, maybe. He doesn’t know. He’d ended up enjoying himself a lot more than he fucking thought he would earlier, watching Ian’s body move to the beat. Ian had that effect on him, making him do shit he never would have before, and he did it just because he loved him.

He couldn’t ignore the fact though, that Ian kept fucking forgetting himself and almost making a move on him in front of everyone. Lucky for them, no one in their highschool gives a shit about anybody but themselves and nobody had been looking to notice. It could have been bad though, if they fucking had.

As much as it killed Mickey to pull away and see Ian’s disappointed face afterwards, he knew he was doing what was best for both of them in the long run. He might be standing up against the wall right now, unable to touch his boyfriend, but Mickey still feels proud knowing he showed up with the best date out of everyone else in the school.

Even if they don’t realize it. Who cares what these assholes know?

Speaking of assholes, Becca’s now standing in front of him. One of Brent’s preppy friends.

She looks at him flirtatiously, “Come dance with me? You can’t just stand back here by yourself during a slow dance, like a loser”. Mickey freezes “Uh…”

Dancing with her is the last fucking thing he wants to do right now, but he feels eyes on him, and he looks up to see Brent staring at him. Shit, of course. Mickey knows objectively that she’s an attractive girl. He unfortunately used to fuck girls when he didn’t realize he had any other options, so he does get what makes a good one, even if he’s not interested in them. His hesitation probably doesn’t look too normal.

“…sure” he answers. She smiles triumphantly, and leads him by the hand to the dancefloor, Mickey forcing himself not the curse the entire fucking time. He hadn't really expected it, but he was kinda hoping Ian would say something to help get him out of it. 

He stops in front of her once they get in the middle of all the other couples. She raises her eyebrow at him, so he raises one back. “Put your hands on me Mickey” she admonishes, guiding them to her sides. He awkwardly leaves them where she places them, and she wraps hers over his shoulders eagerly, as they begin to slowly sway to the music.

This feels too fucking weird, Mickey thinks. She’s too small, too soft, and she smells like fuckin cherries or something. And why the fuck are her nails so long?

Why do girls do that anyways, get those long spiky looking motherfuckers that make their hands look like claws, Mickey wonders. Is that supposed to be attractive? Is _he_ supposed to find that attractive?

He glances over to where Ian is still standing, and sees another girl talking to him. Good, Mickey thinks, maybe he’ll feel less awkward if he dances with a girl too. He stares at Ian and pretends he’s dancing with him, not her. It makes him relax a little.

But Becca’s leading the dance, and turns him away from facing Ian. He tries to force his way back around, but she doesn’t let him. “You’re going too fast” she complains, “It’s a slow dance”.

He realizes that he’s scowling, and forces his face back into some dumb fucking smile in case anyone’s looking. Becca rests her head against his shoulder in contentment, and he looks down at her long brown hair uncertainly, wishing it was short and red, and belonging to Ian Gallagher instead.

The fuck is this girl acting like she’s his fucking girlfriend for anyways?

He risks another glance over to where Ian is standing, but instead of Ian, he sees an empty space on the wall where he was before. His eyes quickly dart around the room, searching, and he sees a flash of red hair and then Ian running towards the gym doors. He disappears outside, and Mickey gets a brief glimpse of his face.

He immediately drops his hands from Becca, and starts to walk quickly away from her. But she grabs onto his hand with a vicelike grip, stopping him. “What the hell Mickey?”

He’d like to yank his fuckin hand away from her goddamn claw, but he knows that would probably hurt her. He glances back at the gym doors desperately, thinking of Ian’s face, screwed up with tears, before quickly coming up with an excuse.

“Song’s almost over. Gotta take a piss, like now”.

She frowns, but drops his hand, and as soon as he’s released Mickey exits the gym as casually but as quickly as he can.  He’s gotta find Ian. As soon as he steps outside, he spots him running down the sidewalk and away from the school, and Mickey immediately breaks into a fast paced run, willing himself to catch up to the taller boy as he yells.

“Ian! IAN!”

 

 ***Ian’s POV** \- right now *****

Ian hears Mickey calling after him, and he stops, looking back through teary eyes as Mickey catches up.

“I want to go home” he says, his voice strangled.

“What’s wrong? What did I do?” Mickey asks, worry flashing in his eyes. Ian tries not to cry as he points back at the gym, far enough away now that no one can hear them.

“You’re my boyfriend! You’re my _fucking boyfriend_ and I can’t even hold your hand, or kiss you, fuck I can’t even dance too close fucking close to you! And everyone else in there, they all get to… and that _bitch_ , _she_ gets to…”

He cuts himself off, choking slightly on his thick emotions as he looks at the defeated boy in front of him, his normally broad shoulders now drooping, his blue eyes filled with guilt.

“I’m sorry Ian. I thought…you’d like this… We knew before we came that we wouldn’t be able to dance together. You were okay with that”.

Ian sniffs and wipes his nose slightly on the back of his hand. “Yeah, I know that. But it bothered me a lot fucking more than I thought it would”.

Mickey clears his throat, his own voice sounding hoarse as he speaks, “Wish I could fucking hug you right now. The look on your face is killing me”. He shakes his head, “Let’s just go home. You said Mandy isn’t gonna be there tonight? Can I stay?”

Mickey nods, clearly eager to please him, “Yeah, of course. Dad’s away for the weekend… Let’s go”.

They walk home in their tuxes, ties loosened and their shirts slightly undone, even in the cold night air. It’s refreshing and cooling to both their sweaty skin, and their heated emotions, although they barely say a word to each other as they walk home.

Ian’s exhausted, from both the hours of dancing and his breakdown, and he suspects Mickey is in the same boat. Mickey smokes almost the entire way back, and Ian goes through a couple too. He’s not mad at Mickey. He knows he was trying to do something nice for him. But maybe Mickey's mad at him, because as soon as they get in the door, Mickey turns to him. “Go wait in my room. Close the door”.

Ian looks at him in confusion, “I-“

Mickey cuts him off, “Please, just wait there. I’ll get you in a few minutes”.

Ian is bewildered but also too tired to argue, and he goes into Mickey’s room, shutting the door behind himself and sitting down on the bed obediently. He hears Mickey moving around impatiently between the kitchen and the living room, blinds being dropped, drawers being opened, and his brow furrows with confusion as he tries to guess what the hell is going on.

Finally, after about ten aggravating minutes, he hears Mickey call for him. “Okay. C’mere Ian”. Ian hears music start to play and he freezes, listening closely.

“ _You and me, we got ourselves a problem. I can see, this better than I solve em”_

He quickly pushes open the bedroom door and walks into the living room, his mouth opening slightly as he takes in what’s in front of him.

 _“I believe, I found a way around it. I will leave, this better than I found it_ ”.

Mickey had drawn all of the blinds, enveloping the living room into a warm privacy, along with the dimmed lights and the flickering candles that he had had scattered over the coffee table and on top of the TV.

 _“There’s too much smoke to see it_  
_There’s too much broke to feel this_  
_I love you, I love you_  
_And all of your pieces_ ”

He looks up at Mickey as he hears the words to the song, who raises his eyebrows just slightly as Ian stares at him.

“Will you dance with me?” Mickey’s voice is shaky and uncertain, filled with apology.  

Ian crosses the room towards his and kisses him with so much love he feels like his heart could burst inside his damn chest. “I wish everyone could know how amazing you are” he whispers, pulling away to look at Mickey’s face.

He really is in wonder of him. Even a year ago, not in his wildest dreams, would he have imagined _Mickey Milkovich_ doing something like this for him. Hell, not even during that night at Oak Forest.

“Is that a yes?” Mickey asks, a tentative smile appearing on his face.

Ian laughs softly, and accepts Mickey’s waiting arms, holding him close as they begin to slow dance, who still tries to apologize, “I know this isn’t the same thing, but-“

Ian cuts his boyfriend off, “It’s better. It’s just you and me”.

_“I love you, I love you. And all of your pieces. All of your pieces”._

“So, you aren’t mad that I danced with Becca?” Mickey asks a little while later, his voiced edged with concern. Ian feels himself grin, “No. Just fucking hate her that’s all. You’re my man, and she needs to find her own”.

Mickey looks at his face and laughs, “Jesus. Never thought I’d have two people fucking fighting over me”. Ian responds teasingly but confidently, “There’d be no fight. I’d win”

“You would” Mickey reaches one hand up and gently brushes away a strand of straying hair from Ian’s forehead. He presses his soft lips against Ian, who opens his mouth slowly to the kiss, pressing his tongue in against Mickey’s, taking it a step further.

“ _Mm, Gallagher_ …” Mickey hums into his mouth as Ian works open the kiss, bringing his hands to the side of Mickey’s face.

It takes both of them a moment to realize they’ve stopped dancing, and Mickey looks up at them, his blue eyes sincere. “You wanna keep dancing?”

Ian shakes his head, “I want to go to your room”.

He takes Mickey’s hand and leads him back into his bedroom, shimmying out of his tux once they get there. He grabs Mickey’s tie and pulls him in again, to an open-mouthed kiss filled with want. Mickey reaches up and undoes his tie, Ian doing the same, as they both start to take yank off their dress shirts and pants.

Ian grabs Mickey again and backs him up against the bed as he kisses him more feverishly, lowering his head to suck on Mickey’s neck gently, drawing out a low moan from the other boy.

“ _I love you, I love you_ ” he whispers, returning to his lips.  Mickey’s eyes flicker up into his heavy gaze as they crawl back onto the bed, Ian mounting himself over the other boy.

“ _And all of your pieces_ ” Mickey says back quietly as Ian lowers his hand to start working his lover open. Mickey gasps slightly from the initial entrance, and Ian can tell every nerve in his body is buzzing, as he reacts instantly, and strongly.

“Please just get in me” he moans, closing his eyes and tensing his forehead.

Ian leans over him, pressing against his shoulder for support as he lines himself up. He draws a rush of air from the other boy as he pushes inside of him, and he lets out a small cry of pleasure himself as Mickey’s walls envelope him into a welcoming and tight warmth.

Mickey’s body has a certain familiarity to him now, one that he always wants to return to. Even though Mickey would occasionally top him now, they had both agreed that this was the way they were meant to be together. There’s no doubt in his mind about that, as he looks down into Mickey’s hazy blue eyes.

He turns his head to the side to rest his cheek against Mickey’s for a moment, his body spent but still wanting to give more. He sees their dress pants and shirts spread out onto the floor, their jackets abandoned haphazardly, and his mind spirals forward towards a certain special night that he would see the same sight, if it ever came to be.

Even that night, with Mickey fast asleep in his arms, and Ian drawing in his comforting scent, he wonders.

Could there ever be a happy ending for two guys like them, living in the South Side of Chicago?

 


	33. Mornings Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a domestic morning together, Terry's influence on Mickey begins to irritate Ian more than it used to.

Ian wakes up first the next morning, and as his eyes flicker open he remembers he’s in Mickey’s room instead of his own. He glances over at the boy sleeping next to him, they’d rolled apart at some point during the night. He’s torn between kissing the other boy awake, or making him breakfast, wanting to do something nice for him after his sweet gesture the night before.

He decides to go with the latter, carefully climbing out of the bed and over Mickey, who mumbles in his sleep, “Fuck off”.

Ian stifles a laugh, wondering what he is dreaming about, as he finds his boxers in the mess of clothes on the floor and pulls them on.

He heads into the kitchen, and quietly opens the cupboards and fridge to see what he has to work with. There’s about a half carton of eggs in the fridge, and a bag of bread with three pieces left in it shoved into one of cupboards. He turns on one of the stove burners, all of them badly in need of a scrub, and swirls the eggs around in a pan with a fork to scramble them, unable to locate a spatula in the haphazard Milkovich kitchen.

After putting the bread into the toaster he sets up the coffee maker, listening to it gurgle absentmindedly as he leans against the kitchen counter, watching the coffee slowly drip into it’s pot.

He feels like someone is watching him after a while, and he turns around hesitantly, knowing Terry wasn’t supposed to be back until this evening.

Thankfully, it’s just Mickey. He’s leaning against the entrance to the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest, with a happy smile on his face as he takes in the scene in front of him. He raises his eyebrow as Ian turns to look at him.

Ian groans, “Shit. I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed”. Mickey laughs, “Why? I got fuckin legs”.

“That’s not the point” Ian gestures at him with the fork, “You got a spatula? Can’t find anything in this kitchen, and I thought ours was bad”. He turns back around to the stove to attend to the eggs that are now almost finished cooking. Mickey comes up to him, but instead of helping him find the spatula, he wraps his arms around him from behind. “Gotta say, I like waking up and finding this in my kitchen”.

“This?” Ian grins, continuing to scramble the eggs.

“You. Shirtless, making me breakfast. A guy could get used to this, you know”. Mickey releases his hold on him and pulls open one of the drawers beside himself, handing Ian a spatula. He starts to butter the toast once it pops but Ian edges him out of the way.

“Will you please just sit the fuck down? I want to do something nice for you too”.

Mickey rolls his eyes but sits at the kitchen table as requested, Ian bringing him a coffee a moment later. Mickey can’t help but shake his head in amusement, “All I need is a fuckin newspaper”.

Ian smirks as he brings their plates over, “How was your day honey?” He puts his hand on his hip like a 50’s housewife, exaggerating the movement.

“Fuck off”, Mickey grins as he starts in on his eggs. And a mouthful later “Fuck that’s good, thanks Ian”.

“You’re welcome” Ian sips at his coffee happily, he couldn’t think of a better way to start his day than this.

“You gonna stay here this weekend?” Mickey asks, chewing on his toast. He thinks for a moment, “Well I only have my tux here, but if I can borrow some clothes, I’ll run home and pack a bag”.

“Cool. Mandy will be here, but Dad’s not back til tomorrow night”. Ian nods his head, understanding the gist of what Mickey’s telling him. There’ll be no sleeping together, probably no messing around. That’s fine though, he’ll be happy just to spend time around him.

They finish their breakfast, and Mickey turns to him. “Want Mo to go with you? I’m gonna stay here and shower and shit, she said she’s on her way”.

“Yeah, sure”. Ian heads into Mickey’s bedroom to get dressed, picking the longest pair of sweats he can find and a t-shirt. Mickey’s clothes are all just slightly too small on him, but not enough to really be noticeable.

Mickey lets Mo out of his dad’s bedroom, where he’d been put last night so they could be completely alone, and the dog follows Ian to the door, wagging his tail as Ian kisses Mickey goodbye. “See you soon”. “Wait, take a fuckin coat Ian” Mickey grabs his own coat off the rack and shoves it at him, Ian taking it gratefully.

He steps into his own home with Mo about fifteen minutes later, the dog passing him to go and say hello to his siblings, who are all at the kitchen table having lunch. They had a later morning at the Milkovich house than he'd realized.

Fiona looks up at him as he enters the room, “Hey, how was the dance?”

“Good, really good. Crashed at Mickey’s, actually I’m heading back there. Gonna chill with him and Mandy until Sunday night if that’s alright”. He carefully adds Mandy’s name in there, thinking it couldn’t hurt to mention a third person’s presence.

She nods, “Yeah I figured, that’s fine. You wanna check on Lip when you’re up there? He’s still passed out”.

“Sure”. Ian continues up the stairs to his bedroom and sure enough, Lip is passed out in his bed, a bucket beside him. Ian wrinkles his nose at the smell, “Lip?”

His brother groans, “What?” “I get that you wanted to sleep by the floor, but if you puke in my bed, I’ll kill you. Keep it in the bucket”. Lip cracks his eyes open and squints at him, “Where’d you end up last night?”

“Mickey’s”. Lip nods his head slowly, “Yeah, better place to bring a girl back. No damn privacy here”. Ian stares at his brother, but he seems to be done talking now, so Ian just shakes his head and throws some things in his bag as his brother falls back asleep.

Ian passes through the kitchen on his way to the front door. “Lip’s fine, just hungover. C’mon Mo. See you guys tomorrow”. He heads out the door and walks back to Milkovich house, but Mandy answers the door this time instead of his boyfriend.

“Hey Ian”. “Hey, um, did Mickey tell you-“

“That you’re staying here? Yeah come on in”. He follows her inside the house somewhat awkwardly, not wanting to be rude but after a minute deciding to ask anyways, “Where is he?” She laughs, “I sent him out to get me some tampons”.

Ian raises his eyebrows, “And he went?”  Mandy smiles, “Yeah. Mick’s an asshole sometimes, but he’s really not that bad. He’d do pretty much anything for his family. You’re his only friend really, but I’m guessing it’s the same for you”.

Ian nods his head, and she gestures to the tv, “Wanna play cod?”

“Yeah, sure”. He takes the controller she offers him, and they play for a while. He’s having fun, and it’s kinda nice to finally spend some time with her. She’s Mickey’s family, and he’s intrigued by her, never having spent too much time around her before.

Mo barks as Mickey comes back into the house, “Here’s your shit”. He tosses a box at Mandy, and Ian tries not to laugh at the thought of him carrying a box of tampons home in their neighborhood. Of course, who would make fun of him? And Mickey really didn’t give a shit about what people thought anyways.

He joins them on the couch, and because they can’t play with three people, they take turns gaming, and before they know it, it’s late. They end up ordering a pizza for dinner, and they are almost finished demolishing it between the three of them when Ian feels Mickey’s eyes land on him and stay there.

He flickers his own towards the other boy, seeing Mickey lick his lips slightly as he looks at Ian’s mouth. “Uh, you got something…” he points to the side of his own mouth, and Ian wipes at his, but finds nothing on his hand when he pulls it away. Mickey must have caught himself and come up with an excuse.

He’s still thinking about this when Mandy glances over at them. She has sort of a funny look on her face, so Ian quickly looks away.

He ends up sleeping on the couch that night, but he doesn’t actually sleep. He keeps looking up at the ceiling, and tossing and turning, restless. It’s driving him crazy knowing Mickey is in just the other room, sleeping in his bed alone after they had spent the previous together. He wishes he could sneak in there and gather him up in his arms, maybe mess around for a while.

He sends Mickey a probing text to see if he’s awake.

**I can’t sleep… ;)**

…But he doesn’t get an answer. He eventually gives up and closes his eyes, willing himself to fall sleep. Otherwise, it’s gonna be a long fucking night. He’s just about there, when he suddenly feels someone pulling on his sweats, and he jumps, feeling a warm hand cover his mouth a second later.

His eyes dart around in confusion, but he settles as soon as he sees it’s Mickey. Mickey licks his lips and gives him a look, the look, that drives Ian wild.

He blinks as Mickey uses his other hand to work his sweatpants down, exposing Ian’s already semi erect cock. Keeping one hand pressed firmly over Ian’s mouth to keep him quiet, Mickey moves his own mouth down towards it.

Ian groans into his tattooed hand with satisfaction as he feels Mickey take him into his warm mouth. The other boy wastes no time with foreplay, and is blowing him like he needs to, eagerly. He sucks his cheeks in and makes small sounds deep in his throat that vibrate against Ian’s cock, turning him on even more.

He presses his tongue against Mickey’s hand, but the other boy doesn’t let go, and laps at his slit teasingly in response. Ian can barely stay still on the couch, and he rolls his hips upwards into Mickey’s mouth, instantly getting some relief. “Mmm, _mm_ ”

His words are completely muffled by Mickey’s hand as he feels himself rapidly approaching a powerful orgasm, but at the exact second he’s about to cum, Mandy’s bedroom door swings open.

Mickey immediately pulls off but at the same moment, Ian comes straight onto his face, unable to stop his orgasm in time.

Neither of them move, terrified, as Mandy shuffles towards the bathroom sleepily. She shuts the door behind herself, and Mickey immediately rolls to hide behind the couch, in front of Ian, who tries to pretend to be asleep, even as his heart threatens to pound out of his chest.

Mandy comes back out of the bathroom a minute or two later, and goes back into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Both boys sigh in relief, and Ian gives Mickey an apologetic look, “Sorry” he whispers.

Mickey blinks, wiping his dripping face with his hand, and then grins, “You’ll sleep now Gallagher”.

Mickey goes to the bathroom to clean up before he heads back into his own room, and as soon as Ian’s heartbeat slows, he does.

“Do you drink coffee, ginger?”

Ian scrunches his face as he wakes up that morning, feeling someone hovering over him as the voice pulls him from his slumber.

He opens his eyes and almost falls off the couch, Mandy is leaning in so close to him. She cackles, “You’re jumpy”.  “Ugh” he wipes his hand across his face, remembering last night.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, coffee, yes. Please”. He scratches his chest as he gets up, and trails after her into the kitchen, where she offers him an already poured mug. He takes it, and joins her at the kitchen table. “So, Ian, tell me a little more about yourself” Mandy says this playfully, as if she is doing a mock interview.

Ian looks at her nervously, what is she getting at… “What do you want to know?”

“Well, I dunno. Just Mick’s never really had a good friend before, so I’m wondering what you guys have in common. He won’t talk about you much”. She takes a casual sip of her coffee and Ian relaxes.

He wonders why that is. Maybe Mickey’s worried about what he can say.

“I uh, work part time at a grocery store. I do ROTC too. Have a lot of brothers and sisters”. She nods, “Yeah. I’ve seen your older brother at school before, Lip. I think I’ve even had a class or two with you before”.

“Yeah in grade nine for sure, I think you were in my English class”. He thinks back to his early days in highschool, when he was an awkward virgin, scared to even try hitting on any of the guys at his school. Kash had been at least been a sort of release for him, as awkward as he feels about those days now, they did make him confident to pursue guys a little bit on his own after that first time.

Of course, no one else knows about that. And Mandy doesn’t know that he’s fucking her brother.

Speaking of her brother, Mickey comes into the kitchen just then, yawning.

“Did you save some coffee for me?”

Mandy rolls her eyes, “Yes douchebag. Would be fresher if you got up before noon”. He flips her off but pours himself a cup, scraping out the chair beside Ian. The three of them sit there and drink their coffees fairly quietly, and Ian vaguely wonders what mornings at the Milkovich house are usually like when he’s not around.

Mickey and him end up spending most of the day at the construction site on Roger’s street, and then roaming the quiet surrounding streets. Mickey had wanted to spread his graffiti tag onto a few new, uncovered choice spots.

His tag is just **_MM_** , his initials, but it’s hobby of his that Ian doesn’t question. He thinks back to Mickey’s artwork on the front of the ROTC building, the red heart with _ARMY_ sprayed inside of it, and it makes him fond of the practice. Mo explores, while Mickey works and Ian watches, and they don’t go home until much later.

Unfortunately, Mickey’s dad is there when they get back. He’s just smoking in the living room, and doesn’t acknowledge either of them right away when they come in. Ian awkwardly follows Mickey into the house, who he notices is immediately tenser and more agitated than he had been just moments before.

Terry gets up and follows them into the kitchen, calmly approaching Mickey, who doesn’t pay any attention as he gets a beer from the fridge. “Where’s your dog?” Terry asks coolly. Mickey shrugs without looking at him, “Outside?”

Terry nods and backhands Mickey, hard enough to make him fall into the fridge door. “Teach your damn dog not to shit in the house or I’ll make you eat it next time”. Mickey rubs his jaw, glaring, but clearing unwilling to take the bait for a fight.

“Sorry. I left him inside too long I guess”.

Terry grunts, “Yeah well. Mandy’s gonna have to watch him the next few days. You’re doing a job with me in Ohio, so your fucking friend here needs to go. We’re leaving in ten”.

Ian isn’t sure whether he should leave or not, so he waits and watches to see how Mickey will react. He frowns, “I have a big test on Tuesday”.  

Mr. Milkovich laughs, a real laugh, filled with amusement. “Listen shithead, your dumb ass isn’t going to gain anything whether you’re there or not for a few fucking days. You actually think you’re gonna go to fuckin college someday? Grow up.”

Ian feels his own anger starting to rise, but Mickey’s eyes flicker towards him warningly before he turns back to his dad, “Alright, okay. Let me pack some shit”. Ian takes Mickey’s hint and follows him to his bedroom, who turns to give him a serious glance as he grabs his backpack.

“I can see you getting ready to tell him off. Don’t. Seriously, let it fucking go. I’ll be back in a few days”.

He responds indignantly, “It’s not about me not seeing you for a few fucking days Mick. He’s always making you do this shit and it’s dangerous. And you do have something to gain by being at school, don’t listen to that shit, alright?” He follows Mickey around the room as he tosses a few items of clothing and some smokes into his backpack, waiting for an answer.

“Hurry up!” Terry growls from the living room.

Mickey slings his backpack over his shoulders carelessly, “Who knows Ian. Sometimes I think he’s right”.


	34. Basic Biology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some in class shenanigans, and some after school sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a crappy update, my apologies. My schedule has been bad lately :P Also trying to figure out how to introduce another important theme

*One month later*

Ian smiles into the camera, poking Mickey until he does the same, although he pulls more a goofy smile than Ian currently is. Ian snaps it and saves it, “Good one. I love it. I’m putting this on Instagram”.

Mickey frowns at him, “What the fuck is Instagram?”

“It’s kinda like Facebook, but it’s only for pictures” Ian explains, trying to think of a caption. “Well then why the fuck wouldn’t you just put it on Facebook?” Mickey asks, lighting a cigarette.

Ian shakes his head and chuckles. Mickey is surprisingly out of the loop sometimes, considering the fact that as much as he tries to ignore it, he’s still surrounded by all of the social media crap in their high school.

Ian posts the picture with, ‘ _what the fuck is Instagram_? ’-Mickey Milkovich.

He grins as Lip likes it a few seconds later, and Mandy comments on it, “Jesus my brother is stupid”.

Mickey peers over Ian’s shoulder at his phone when he laughs, “She has it too? Tell er to fuck off”.

Ian presses his lips together, unimpressed, as _PrincessBecca16_   then comments, “Hot. Who’s your friend? ;)”

“She clearly doesn’t realize she’s barking up the wrong tree” he points at the comment, annoyed. Mickey reads it, but just shrugs, “Well that’s a good thing, right? Everyone thinks we’re friends, that’s it”.

“Yeah, except it leaves girls like her thinking you’re available” Ian grouses.

Mickey stares at him, “You think it’s just me? Have you not noticed Emily is fucking obsessed with you? She likes every fucking thing you post, I swear, and she gave me the bitchiest look when you chose me as your lab partner”.

Ian frowns, “Emily Richerson?”

He had never even fucking noticed her, to be honest. The girls at school did approach him a lot, but he usually thought it was just them being friendly. Of course, they could be throwing themselves at him, and if they weren’t Mickey, he wouldn’t notice... or care.

 

Ian’s scrawling the date, March 25th 2016, onto the top of his notebook with his pen in Religion class when his teacher, Ms. Quinn, addresses the entire class.

 “Alright 11th graders, due to some changes in school policy, we will be splitting our class for sexual education this year, as we’ve had some issues with maturity in the past”. She glares at several students in particular, although Ian manages to avoid her scathing glance.

“Males and females will now be in separate classes, and we will be combining with Mrs. Dolly’s second period class, for number purposes”.

Ian perks up slightly. That’s Mickey’s class.

She continues, “All females in this class, please head down the hall into Mrs. Dolly’s class, room 413. Boys will stay here, and Mrs. Dolly’s male students will be joining us in this room”.

The girls all gather their stuff and head out of the room, leaving it mostly empty while the guys quietly whisper and make sex jokes, Ms. Quinn pointedly ignoring them.

A few minutes later, the group of male students from the other class arrive and start to spread out across the room in the free seats. Ian feels himself grin uncontrollably as Mickey shows up in the doorway.

His eyebrow flickers just slightly, his lips twitching as he throws himself down in the seat beside Ian.

“Gallagher” he nods, just slightly, purposefully being overly formal.

Ian tries not to laugh as he tips his head back, "Milkovich".

Quinn fixes her gaze towards them, “Oh…lovely. Mr. Milkovich, nice to have you in my class again. Her tone is like venom, laced with sarcasm.

“Is it?” Mickey grins. He loves this shit.

Her eyes flicker away from him disapprovingly, “Well I suppose everyone is here now. That’s…18 of you? I have of course, been assigned to teach sexual education this year to the boy’s group, whereas Mrs. Dolly has been assigned to teach the girls”.

Mickey interrupts loudly, “Why is a chick teaching the dudes this stuff? And I’m pretty sure the entire class knows how to bang anyways”.

The entire class stifles laughter, but she doesn’t falter. She’s a tough, mean old woman, and she’s been dealing with students like Mickey her entire life. Or so she thinks.

“Boys like you are the reason pregnancy and STD’s are rampant among the teenaged population in our society”.

Ian hesitates, wondering if Mickey will flip out, but he just laughs. “Alright Quinn, checkmate. Go ahead”

He waves his hand for her continue with her lesson, and she purses her lips but ignores him as she begins to hand out a stack of papers to the entire class.

“Why do I need a drawing of a dick? I can just look down my fucking pants. I don’t need to see this shit” Mickey complains when he gets his, flipping it over to frown at the other side, a complete diagram of the female reproductive system.

Ian kicks him from under the table and Mickey’s eyebrow twitches, but he shuts up.

“We will be starting with basic biology today” she explains to the class, before she begins to lecture. Ian scrawls down everything she says, as he always does in class, until Mickey frowns over at him.

“Why are you writing this shit down? You’re not gonna get anyone pregnant”.

Before Ian can answer, they both notice their classmate, Whitley, looking over at them with a funny expression on his face. Mickey quickly explains, “Pussy uses condoms fuckin religiously with his girls”.

Whitley nods, looking at Mickey like he’s stupid. “Yeah, I do too. Don’t want a fucking kid man”.

Ian turns to Mickey, “See? I’m being smart”.

Mickey nods like he is serious, but as soon as Whitley turns away he crumples his paper into a ball and tosses it across the room into the garbage can by their teacher’s desk.

“10 points!” he yells.

Mickey gets kicked out of class less than five minutes later.

He comes over to the Gallagher's house after school, because Ian had agreed to babysit his younger siblings while Fiona and Lip were working afternoon shifts. They all sit in the kitchen at the table, eating sandwiches Ian threw together to feed them.

“Alright, you guys go watch your little brother. Watch TV with him. We’re gonna study upstairs” Mickey says to Carl and Debbie as soon as they are done, his tone making sure they don’t argue.

Ian looks at him in confusion as his siblings agreeably head towards the TV, and Mickey says confidently, as if it’s obvious, “We’re supposed to study those diagrams from religion, remember? Well, one of them anyways”.

Ian grins and heads upstairs, wrestling Mickey playfully on the way to his room. As soon as they get there, Mickey shoves him onto the bed and kicks the door closed behind himself. He points at the ground, “Pants down Gallagher”.

“Man, I fuckin love tutoring you” Ian teases, as Mickey gets on his knees in front of him. Mickey flips him off but takes his cock into his mouth eagerly, not wasting any time with teasing.

“Fuck…” Ian rests his hand on the back of Mickey’s head and gently guides it up and down, working him into the exact orgasmic pace he needs to finish quickly.

“Mmmm” he groans, as quietly as he can. Mickey rubs the side of his thigh gently, and Ian feels his hairs stand on end. “Want me to tell you when I’m gonna cum or should I surprise you with a throat coat?” Mickey snorts into his junk and Ian grins, closing his eyes in pleasure.

“You did say you wanted to swallow” he reminds him, half teasing.

Mickey removes his mouth, catching his breath slightly, “That’s when I was fucking drunk”. Ian tips his head as if he’s disappointed, but he lets it go when he sees the unimpressed look on Mickey’s face.

“Ohh alright”.

Mickey’s mouth returns to his cock, and he feels his muscles tighten as he approaches his orgasm.

As much as he doesn’t want to, a few minutes later he grips into Mickey’s hair with his fingers and tells him, “I’m about to come Mick, pull off”.

But instead of pulling off, Mickey’s eyes flicker upwards to him, a hot and determined look in them.

“Oh…” Ian groans. He keeps his hand where it is, and pulls Mickey’s hair as he comes, finally releasing into his boyfriend’s throat for the first time.

It’s as hot as he imagined it to be, and his eyes feel glazed as he watches Mickey remove his mouth from his cock once he’s done.

His lips are puffy and wet, a small dribble of cum leaking from the corner of his mouth, that he wipes away with back of his hand.

“Was that so bad?” Ian grins, as Mickey raises his eyebrow at him.

“Nah… you taste pretty fuckin good”.

He laughs, remembering what Mickey had said to him before his first blowjob, and he can’t resist roasting him a bit, “Swallowed like a goddamn pornstar Mick”.

Mickey flips him off, but rolls his eyes affectionately.

 “Only for you Gallagher”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment a band you think Ian would want to see in concert?? Will sort of be incorporated into the next chapter


	35. Secrets That We Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey try to go to a concert together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the band suggestions! Ended up going with the Killers, but I could see Ian at any of them!

Ian walks down the hallway towards his boyfriend the next day at school, who doesn’t seem to notice him approach. He is leaning against his locker, his dark brows twitching as he watches another student down the hallway like a hawk.

“What’s up?” Ian asks, once he reaches him.

Mickey’s eyes pull away from the other boy and land on Ian, his expression softening.

“Luke owes me, been fucking avoiding me”. Ian grimaces, knowing what that means. “How much?”

“Enough”.

He doesn’t ask what for, he’s pretty sure he knows, and both of them try to avoid the topic of Mickey dealing drugs for his dad as a source of income. It’s become a touchy subject on more than one occasion already.

Luke finishes talking to his friend, and exits through the nearest door, heading towards the smokers’ area outside of the parking lot. Most students hide while they smoke, to avoid getting shit from the teachers. Luckily the bleachers have remained Mickey’s territory, giving Ian and him privacy at lunch.

“I gotta deal with this” Mickey strides down the hallway towards the exit, and Ian follows him.

He’s tagged along before on this sort of thing, even joined in once or twice if one of the guy’s friends tried to gang up on Mickey. He didn’t need the help, but both of them sort of got a dumb teenage thrill from fighting. It was another thing they did extremely well together.

Mickey cracks his knuckles as they approach Luke, who’s sitting on the ground beside his old Honda, smoking a joint. His eyes flicker nervously between them as they halt in front of him.

Ian hangs back just slightly; his help won’t be necessary this time. Luke’s a scrawny stoner, and dumb enough to get himself roped into coke while he’s still in highschool. Not a real threat, just an annoying problem.

“Time to pay up bitch”.

Mickey smiles sadistically as Luke starts to wave his hands in protest.

“Listen, we can work something else out, right? I can sell for you man, I know a lotta people who will buy”.

Mickey presses his lips together in an unimpressed line, “I don’t need a fuckin seller, what do you think I do dumbass? Give me the money, or I’ll beat it out of you. Last chance”.

Luke doesn’t make a move to take out any cash.

Stupid choice, Ian thinks, shaking his head, as Mickey pulls back his leg and delivers a brutal kick with his work boot.

Luke grunts in pain, and Mickey waits, but seeing him still unwilling to offer any sort of payment, continues. He grabs Luke and shoves him back to the ground when he gets to his feet and tries to scramble back into view of any possible passersby.

A wallet flops out of his jacket pocket and to the ground, and Mickey snatches it up, raising his eyebrow. “Got no money, huh?”

He flips through it, but frowns as he finds it mostly empty.

He turns to Ian, “Goddamn tweaker spending money he doesn’t have”. Ian scratches his head, and Mickey pulls out two stiff pieces of paper from his wallet.

“What’s this?”

Luke pants, holding his side, “Concert tickets. Fuckin take them. Was supposed to take my girlfriend” he grumbles.

Mickey inspects them and frowns, “The Killers? I don’t think so, I know like two of their songs. Doesn’t make up for $250”.  Ian clears his throat, his attention caught by the band’s name, “Um, I kinda like them Mick. Think it’s a fair trade”.

He’d actually really like to go, but he’s careful of what or how he says it in front of Luke. He can’t interfere with Mickey’s reputation as an unforgiving dealer, whether he stands by that profession or not.

Mickey raises his eyebrow slightly at Ian’s comment, but eventually nods.

“Alright…I’m fucking taking these. But I still need $100 from you by next week. I got a guy to pay too”. Luke stands up, backing away from Mickey, now that he’s letting him retreat.

“Okay, okay. It’s just, that’s a lot of money. Hard to get on short notice”.

“Gave you a fuckin week, didn’t I? Go suck some cock or something I don’t give a shit, fag” Mickey jams the tickets into his pocket and tips his head at Ian, the two of them leaving the parking lot and Mickey’s latest target behind them.

“When’s the concert?” Ian asks. Mickey still looks surprised at his interest, “This Saturday…the United Center. You really wanna go?”

He nods his head enthusiastically, “Yeah Mick, it’ll be fun”.

“Alright, alright”.

Ian tries not to smile as they walk to class. He feels like he’s unintentionally got Mickey looped around his finger, and there’s something satisfying on having that effect on the notorious Milkovich of the South Side.

Mickey borrows his brother Iggy’s car on Saturday night, although they have to take the bus to his mom’s house to pick it up. Mickey’s half brothers rarely stay at his house with him, Mandy, and their dad, Ian’s noticed. Not that he blames them, Iggy’s mom’s house seems considerably nicer.

Mickey nods at his brother appreciatively, “Thanks for the car bro, I’ll bring it back tomorrow alright? Gonna be late”. Iggy nods, “Yeah no problem dude. Don’t forget our deal though, you’re taking over Zablotnov and his crew for me. Bring a piece when you collect”.

Ian’s eyes flash over towards Mickey in alarm at the statement, but he doesn’t react with surprise, “Got it, see ya later”.

He jingles the keys to a little 2000 Volkswagen Golf Hatchback, and Ian can’t help but open his mouth once they get inside.

“I didn’t know you had to do something for the car Mick”.

His boyfriend shrugs as he starts the engine, “Most Milkovich’s don’t do shit for free Ian. I take over his problem customer, he loans me his car. I’ll get it more than once, don’t worry”.

“That’s not what I’m worried about”.

Ian looks out the window as they drive away, a weird mixture of anxiety and excitement for the concert mixing in his stomach. Mickey focuses on his driving, and doesn’t seem to notice how quiet Ian gets.

He feels worse the closer they get, and as soon as they are at the venue and Mickey parks the car, Ian quickly gets out to gulp some of the night air deeply into his lungs, and steady his stomach.  

“Here we go”, Mickey looks ahead of them at the massive crowd outside of the venue with satisfaction, “Should be fun”.

Ian can’t answer, and Mickey looks over at him, a dark eyebrow arching in concern. “Hey…you alright? You look like you’re gonna puke. My driving that bad?” He laughs but Ian shakes his head, “I don’t feel well”.

“You sick?” Mickey comes over to his side of the car, looking at him in concern. He touches Ian’s forehead, “You don’t have a fuckin fever or anything”.

Ian can’t explain it, but he feels overwhelmed as he looks at the crowd, “I…need to get out of here”. He yanks the car door back open and gets inside, he wants to run actually, but he fights it, trying to regain control over himself amidst his confusion.

“We just got here!” Mickey exclaims as he clambers back into the car beside him, “You fucking wanted to do this Ian! I gave up a hundred and fifty fucking dollars for this shit and you’re not even gonna go inside?”

Ian blinks, strangely feeling tears threaten to fill his eyes. “Please don’t yell at me”. He doesn’t feel like himself at all, and it’s terrifying.

Mickey softens, now looking at him with concern. “Okay, okay. Sorry. It’s fine Ian…you’re alright”. He puts a hand on Ian’s back tentatively, and rubs small comforting circles once he realizes Ian won’t tell him to fuck off.

Ian watches as everyone outside pours inside the concert hall as soon as the doors open, emptying the streets. He starts to feel better eventually, the sick feeling in his stomach and the overwhelming thoughts in his head abating. He’s tired, but he feels fine other than that.

He looks at Mickey in confusion, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened”.

Mickey shrugs, “It’s okay, as long as you’re okay. You were freaking me the fuck out”.

Ian feels himself grin, and repeats himself, “I’m sorry”. Mickey’s face breaks into a relaxed smile as he sees Ian return to normal.

 “Stop fuckin apologizing” He grabs Ian’s head and brings it in to give him a playful kiss on the top of it, “Wanna see if we can still get in?”

 Ian glances at his phone, “It started a half an hour ago, I don’t think they’ll let us in”. Mickey nods, “Okay, well. I’ll take you home?”

“Or, we could go for a drink. On me, feel guilty as hell for wasting your tickets” Ian offers.  

Mickey turns the key in the ignition, “I don’t give a shit about the concert. I’ll take the money from my cut, no worries. As long as my dad gets his, it’s fine”.

That actually makes Ian feel more guilty as Mickey pulls out of the lot. Here he was, extravagantly wasting his boyfriend’s money, and his asshole dad would still pocket a profit.

He looks over at his attractive boyfriend, admiring his strong jaw and muscular body as he raises an expressive eyebrow to check for traffic before pulling onto the main road.

He leans across the seat and downwards, Mickey frowning at him, glancing down and then back up at the road as Ian fiddles with the button on his jeans, “The fuck are you doing?”

“Making it up to you” Ian murmurs, pulling his cock out from his boxers. Mickey laughs nervously, “That’s not…you don’t need to…oh…”

He shuts up as Ian takes him in his mouth.

“ _Fuck…_ ” Mickey swears as Ian laps at his slit, deepening the blowjob afterwards. The car swerves slightly.

“Focus on the road” Ian mumbles around his cock, wondering how much of that Mickey managed to understand. Enough, apparently.

“I’m fuckin trying to, not easy with you fucking blowing me at the wheel” He doesn’t seem to be complaining though, Ian sees a blissed-out look on his face as he glances upwards. He fights a smile and focuses on what he’s doing, carefully working Mickey with his tongue and throat.

He’s starting to pull significant groans from the other boy, when they hear sirens going off just behind them.

“Fuck, fuck!” Ian immediately pulls upwards and off, both of them panicking as Mickey tries to pull over.

“Do up my fucking jeans!” Mickey yells, so Ian slides over and fumbles desperately with them, but his boner is in the way. Mickey stops the car, and shoves him out of the way, trying to lean back so he can slide them upwards.

But it’s too late, a cop is now at their window, a flashlight illuminating them as they struggle with Mickey’s pants.

Mickey looks pale as a ghost as he rolls down the window at the cop’s tapped request.

“Mikhailo?”

Great, the cop fucking knows Mickey.

He looks absolutely surprised, “You know how dangerous what you two were doing is? You were swerving like crazy back there, did you even notice? You almost edged another car out of the next line. They were honking at you and everything”.

Mickey finally returns to his normal skin tone and then reddens past it, “I didn’t hear it”.

The cop looks at Ian, who isn’t sure what to fucking say or do. He glances back and forth between them, taking in their panicked faces, and landing on Mickey in the end. “I’m surprised, not gonna lie. Didn’t even know it was you, thought this was Ignatius’ car”.

“It is…I was borrowing it. We were supposed to be at a concert, Ian got sick” Mickey stammers.

It’s the first time Ian’s seen him totally undefensive and cooperative, he’s clearly shitting his pants in fear.

The cop sighs, “You’re not drunk…so I’m not gonna charge you. But you need to be more careful”.

Mickey turns to him, pleading, “Please don’t tell my dad”.

The cop shakes his head, “Mik, I’ve been dealing with your old man a long time. I remember doing house calls to pick him up since you were just a little guy. I know what he’s capable of, and I’m not going to say anything. We aren’t friends you know. But for your own sake, I suggest you keep this…” he gestures between the two of them, “Private. You know he’s been arrested at least five times for beating on… guys like you”.

Mickey looks absolutely relieved; the same way Ian feels, “I know. Fuck… thank you. Seriously”. The officer tips his hat at them, “Alright. Have a good night guys. Be safe”.

Mickey is still so shaken though that it takes him a long time to be able to pull back onto the road, and he drives back slowly and carefully when he does.

Neither of them say a word to each other on the way home, and once he is back home in his own bed, Ian worries about this new crack in their secret, threatening its containment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so here we are obviously seeing Ian in some sort of decline that's stress induced. I decided to keep him as having some mental health issues but changed it to generalized depression/anxiety instead of bipolar disorder. I don't want it to be a huge part of his entire story, it's just important to an upcoming segment of it in particular. He will not be having psychotic episodes.


	36. No Fuckin Balloons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey celebrates his 18th birthday at the Gallagher's.

Ian had been fraught with nerves the entire day after the incident, something that Fiona didn’t fail to fucking notice. She kept asking if he was feeling alright, and he would snap at her to leave him alone, because ‘he was fine’.  

Internally, he kept thinking about what might happen if Mickey’s dad found out, and that it would be his fucking fault if he did. He was the one that had made the move on Mickey while he was driving.

And he knew it was a stupid thing to do, even in the moment. He just thought it would be hot, and fun. Mickey didn’t seem mad at him, at all, but the tension between them was palpable until a few days later, when they both finally relaxed, accepting that if he hadn’t already, the cop wasn’t likely to open his mouth about what he had seen.

They had spent a good night together, and that was what ultimately allowed them to put the fear of something being said behind themselves. It was hard to worry about anything when they were wrapped up in each other’s arms. It was the one place Ian felt safe, and completely free to be himself. And he knew Mickey felt the same way. He could tell by the way Mickey looked at him, and how much softer Mickey’s expressions and body language were when they were alone together, compared to when they were around other people.

He’s holding Mickey in his arms the next day as they spoon in his bed at the Milkovich house, fully clothed and watching a movie on Netflix, when Ian realizes it’s almost Mickey’s birthday. They aren’t home alone, Mandy had come home from her friend’s house, so they hadn’t chanced trying to bang. Most of the time, Mickey got too fucking loud to risk it, whether he was fucking or being fucked. Not that Ian would complain, he loves it.

And he loves moments like this. He nuzzles against Mickey’s neck, feeling him grin in response. “So… your birthday is later this month”.

“Yeah?” Mickey looks back and poses it like a question. Ian is a little taken aback, “You don’t care?”

Mickey turns his attention back the movie on his phone. “Not really man, it’s not a big deal”.

“Eighteen is a pretty big deal” Ian argues, but he realizes birthdays at the Milkovich house probably go mostly uncelebrated. Gallagher birthdays are the opposite, loud, with lots of food and booze, and everyone has a great time, even though there aren’t usually any gifts.

They hadn’t had a party in a while, come to think of it. He was pretty sure none of his siblings would argue against having one for Mickey. He’s over there often enough.

“How about we celebrate at my place? Only, it has to be early I guess. Probably this weekend”. He thinks of his hefty work schedule while Kash is away the next week and a half.

Mickey yawns contentedly, “If you want. No fuckin balloons though, you gotta promise”.

Ian chuckles, “You’re scared of balloons?”

Mickey frowns over his shoulder at him, “No dumbass, if Mo pops one and eats it, he’ll choke. I saw that happen before at my aunt’s house”. Ian stops grinning. Leave it Mickey to turn something like a balloon into something serious.

 “Oh. Okay, no balloons. I’m not budging on cake though”.

Mickey’s face blooms into a smile, “You gonna make it yourself?”

Ian thinks of his rather dismal culinary skills. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, you fucking do”. Mickey rolls to face him, resting his head against Ian’s warm arm with his eyebrows raised, waiting.

Ian laughs gently before he presses his lips to his mouth in an affectionate kiss.

 

*******

Ugly.

There’s no other way to describe the cake Ian had made. He’d botched it somehow, even out of a box, but he’s out of time to make another. Mickey’s gonna be here in half an hour.

“Help” he turns to Fiona desperately as she passes through the kitchen, and she takes one look at the cake and hands Liam over, trading Ian for the frosting knife.

“You can hide all the lumps and cracks with the frosting. It’s like glue, see?” She patches up the cake more evenly, and it actually looks half decent by the time she’s done. “Want me to write on it?”

He shakes his head, “No, I can handle that I think”. “Help” Liam says, pointing at the cake.

Ian considers it, he doubts at this point Mickey would mind. He hands Liam a tube of frosting and lets him squeeze out random globs of blue icing over the cake, while he writes 18 on the side of it himself. He smiles at his little brother when it’s done, “Looks good Liam, let’s hide it in the fridge. It’s supposed to be a surprise”. He takes the cake and pushes it onto the shelf on the fridge, while more of his siblings pile into the kitchen.

“Pizza’s on it’s way!” Debbie calls, sailing through the kitchen. “Mandy’s coming right?” Lip asks, winking as he puts plates out onto the table. “Yes, Mandy’s fucking coming. Perv” Ian jokes, slugging his brother in the shoulder.

The doorbell rings, and Carl goes over and yanks the door open. “Sup Mickey”.

He fist bumps him as he comes inside, and Mickey blushes as the rest of the Gallaghers exclaim over him, many birthday wishes coming his way.

“It’s not my actual fucking birthday yet” he laughs, but Fiona shushes him, “It’s close enough!” He nods and looks behind himself, “Uh, this is my sister. Mandy”.

He gestures to her awkwardly as she comes in after him, and she takes in the house with interest, licking her lips slightly as she sees Lip checking her out from the couch.

V and Kev come in the door behind them about two minutes later, and Mo gets more excited as the house fills up, taking the opportunity to jump on everyone.

The dinner portion of the birthday party is actually fairly tame, they all just eat pizza and mill around the house while the music plays loudly from the stereo. It’s more about a get together than Mickey turning 18, which he had insisted on, uncomfortable being the center of attention.

But he can’t avoid being in the spotlight when the cake comes out after dinner, and Ian carries it over to hold in front of him, eighteen candles glowing. He raises his eyebrows at the sight of it, and laughs with what can only be described as delight as Liam comes up to him and raises his arms.

Mickey pulls him into his lap. He doesn’t notice Mandy start in surprise at that.

“You help with that little man?” Mickey asks, pointing at the cake.  Liam nods proudly, and helps him blow out the candles a few seconds later. “Looks great” Mickey says, grinning. His eyes meet Ian’s, and there’s a moment of nothing but pure happiness between them.

After dinner, Mickey announces loudly that it’s time to take Mo for a walk, and they take the chance to escape while everyone else is busy cleaning up. It’s dark out now, and they go to the dugout because it’s closer to the house that the construction site.

Mickey leans up against Ian as soon as they are in the privacy of the dugout, pressing his forehead against Ian’s, but withholding his lips. Ian feels his hands lower from the small of his back down to his ass, Mickey stretching his hands wide to grab handfuls of it.

“Oh, in that kind of mood tonight?” Ian teases, even as his breath hitches at the thought of it.

Mickey nods his head wordlessly, licking his lips slightly before he says, “Turn around”. Ian drops his pants and leans against the fence, listening to the sound of Mickey undoing his belt and his pants falling to his shoes. He feels Mickey’s strong hands gripping into his thighs, and then stretching him open expertly. He defies the odds by being an amazing bottom, and an incredible top.

Ian gasps as Mickey pushes inside him a few minutes later, and hearing Mickey moan in pleasure at the connection makes his blood rush to his ears. “Fuck I love you” he groans, his head rolling slightly as Mickey fucks him with one hand on his hipbone to guide his movements, and the other hand on his throat.

“I…love…you…too” Mickey pants out between deep thrusts. The chain link fence shakes with each of his movements, jangling loudly into the quiet night. “I wanna fuck you” Ian blurts a couple minutes later, suddenly feeling a need to change positions as the heat in his chest rises. He wants to give, not take.

They _are_ celebrating Mickey’s birthday, after all.

Mickey pulls out, “Switch positions”.

He stops to kiss Ian sloppily, before leaning against the fence and lowering his head past his shoulders, presenting his perfect ass to Ian as he bends.

Ian looks with a deep satisfaction at the sight, “M’ gonna give it to you. Happy birthday, you fucking king”. Mickey lets out a breathy laugh that dies in his throat as Ian enters him, immediately snapping back into the quick pace Mickey had left off at.

Each loud moan, grunt, pant, and cry of pleasure that Mickey lets out with no regard for the amount of noise he is making drives Ian more passionately, and he drills into the other boy steadily, biting his shoulder through the cloth of his shirt as he does.

“Ah fuck Ian, I’m gonna cum” Mickey groans, his voice dripping with satisfaction and pleasure.

“Yeah? Cum for me, c’mon” Ian moves a hand to grip Mickey’s strong jaw as he delivers his final thrusts directly into his prostate. He watches Mickey shoot white ribbons onto the dirt by their feet with a moan, releasing his own load inside of him just seconds later.

***

When they get home the party has already turned into a real one, with the inhabitants of the house making more of a ruckus as they see the birthday boy return. Him and Ian cheerfully join Lip and Mandy in the kitchen to chug some beers.

“Think you can get 18 down?” Lip asks Mickey, teasingly. He slings his arm around Mandy’s shoulder, and Mickey raises an eyebrow in amusement, “Think you can get your arm off my sister? And let’s fucking find out”.

He cracks open another beer and gets on it, Ian cheering him on as Lip races to outdrink him. Kev joins them in the kitchen to get a refill and turns to Mickey, “Hey, come get a drink on me next time you’re near the Alibi. Happy birthday bud”.

He slaps Mickey on the back, who grins as he finishes his beer first, “Thanks man. I’ll take you up on that”.

Mickey’s got this look on his face as he turns back Ian like maybe, maybe 18 will be his year. Maybe it’s time things change for Mickey Milkovich.


	37. A Brewing Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's drug business with his father forces Ian to give him an ultimatum.

Terry comes bursting through the unlocked front door of the Gallagher house less than ten minutes later.

“You little shit!” he bellows, everyone freezing at the unexpected intrusion. He spies Mickey and comes barreling through the house, knocking people out of his way as he flies towards him in a blind rage.

Mandy comes to her senses first, “Dad, what the fuck are you doing!”

Her scream knocks Ian out of his confused daze, and him and Mandy both move to block Terry from Mickey at the exact same moment. The entire house erupts into an uproar as Terry knocks both of them out the way and grabs Mickey roughly by the throat. Mick snaps out of it and grabs him back, both of them swearing and shouting angrily at each other.

Terry’s voice is louder, and his furious outburst is heard above the commotion, “The money was fake you fucking idiot! You took a worthless payment and you’re gonna pay, you shit. Everyone. Thinks. We. Are. A. Joke”. He aims a punch with each word, Mickey receiving about half of them as the kitchen swells with people trying to stop the altercation.

Lip, Ian, and Kev are trying in unison to haul them apart while Mandy screams and aims kicks at her dad’s legs. He turns for a brief second and shoves her, and Mickey’s face goes blank as he lunges forwards past Lip’s controlling arms and headbutts his dad in the face.

Blood begins to spray as Fiona’s screeching finally reaches above the noise, “Get the fuck out of my house! All of you, NOW! Or I’m calling the fucking cops!”

The noise quiets enough after her outburst for all of them to finally notice Liam screaming and crying from the stairs, and Mickey looks over at him, his eyes looking wild with shock as blood drips from his face.

“Liam…it’s okay” he starts to try and say reassuringly, but Terry grabs him by the arm firmly, halting his advance.

“We’re leaving. You’re coming with me, both of you”. He jerks his chin at Mandy, who meekly follows her dad and brother to the door.

She pauses as they both go outside ahead of her, and she turns to look back at them, her eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry. I told him we were coming here, I had no idea…” Fiona is just shaking her head, clearly in shock, “Just…go”.

Mandy sniffs, and nods, closing the door behind herself after she leaves.

“Ian, you alright?”

Ian turns to the sound of Lip’s voice as he watches her go, feeling like he is underwater. “I…just...what happened?” The atmosphere inside the Gallagher house had changed so fast that his head is spinning.

“Terry Milkovich happened” Lip answers, shaking his head, “Guy’s a fuckin psycho, I feel sorry for those two. What did Mickey do? What was he saying, he took a worthless payment?”

Ian blocks each one of Lip’s questions, unable to process them at the moment. He does take the beer that Lip offers him though, and gulps from it numbly.

V and Kev start cleaning up the mess, and Fiona ushers the younger kids upstairs to calm them down, but Ian feels like throwing up. He tries to call Mickey, but he doesn’t pick up, so he messages Mandy on Facebook.

‘ **Please explain, are you guys ok?? Should I call the police?** ’

He sees the typing bubble appear and disappear on his phone a few times before a message actually shows up.

‘ **hey Ian, we’re fine. I’m so sorry. Mickey apparently took over a big client a few days okay, and they realized he was a bit of a rookie and ripped him off. He lost dad a couple grand, and he’s fucking pissed** ’

Ian’s stomach churns as he remembers Mickey taking over Iggy’s problem client a few days ago.

He quickly types out ‘ **He’ll fucking kill him Mandy!!** ’

 ‘ **He won’t. needs his help to fix it. I know we look fucked up, but this is how things are in my family Ian** ’

There is a finality in her message that makes Ian put his phone away. He actually does need to throw up now.

He goes into the bathroom off of the kitchen and retches, beer and undigested pizza coming up noisily.

He can’t live like this, in constant fear for Mickey’s safety. Whether Mickey likes it or not, it’s time for him to put his foot down, and give him an ultimatum. This drug business was stretching past his world and into Ian’s, into his family’s, and he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t put them in dangers way because of _his_ relationship.

Ian tries to get a hold of Mickey that night, sending him anxious texts about what had happened, but he doesn't get a single response. He sighs as he rereads Mandy's messages, ' _This is what our family is like, Ian_ '.

Fiona lets him stay home the next day from school after he tells her he’s sick, because he’d been off even before the chaos of the previous night. “Hope Mickey’s okay” she says gently, before leaving his room. He appreciates the concern, and he waits until Liam is napping upstairs before sending Mickey a text to come over so they can talk.

Mickey shows up at his doorstep with a black eye and a nasty cut just beneath his hairline, looking very guilty. The second Ian opens the door he starts to apologize, “I couldn’t answer my phone last night, he was on my ass until four in the fucking morning yelling at me. Mandy told me she told you I was okay though”.

Ian shakes his head passively as Mickey comes inside, “Yeah, and I’m really glad you’re alright. But that’s not what we need to talk about”.

Mickey looks over at him nervously, as Ian closes the door and heads into the living room to sit on the couch.

He clears his throat as Mickey sits in the chair across from him, “Listen, I get that this is how you’ve chosen to live your life, make your money-“

Mickey interrupts, “I didn’t fucking choose this Ian”.

Ian glares at him, trying to keep calm as he brings up the touchy subject. “Let me fucking speak”.

Mickey shuts his mouth, looking like he wants to argue more, but seeing how serious Ian is, he lets him continue.

“You’ve known since the beginning that I didn’t like this, we’re not talking about fucking weed here, this is serious shit. I never did like it, but I put up with it because it was a part of your life before I even knew you. So I’m not gonna ask you to change for me, because that wouldn’t be fair”.

Mickey relaxes at Ian’s last sentence, prematurely. Ian shakes his head before he continues.

“But I can’t be with you if this is how it’s gonna be”. He sees Mickey’s eyes flood with panic, and he feels sick again so he quickly adds, “I don’t want to end things, I don’t. But you need to decide, if it’s gonna be me or this business you do with your dad. Because last night Mickey, it came into my house, and it put _my family_ in danger. I won’t let that happen again”.

Mickey sniffs, looking agitated. “I know. I’m so fucking sorry Ian- I-“

The baby monitor on the coffee table goes off, as Liam wakes up early and starts to call for Ian, pulling both of their attentions away from the heavy conversation.

Ian heads upstairs, and doesn’t tell Mickey not to follow.

He peers into the bedroom anxiously while Ian grabs Liam. Liam notices him there, and looks at Mickey uncertainly, before he buries his face into Ian’s shoulder. Mickey’s eyes look dangerously close to tears as he stammers out, “Liam… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you last night”.

Liam lifts his face to look at him again, and after a moment, says quietly “Mickey”. He reaches away from Ian and towards the sad boy in the doorway.

Ian hands him to Mickey, who carries him back downstairs with them. Ian sets up Liam with a bottle, and puts on a show for him to watch quietly before he turns his attention back to his boyfriend.

“You can see why, right? I know you care about my family too”.

Mickey rubs his forehead in agitation, “Yeah, I do. I care about you, and them, more than anything”.

Ian’s relieved, “Good, so promise? You’re out?”

Mickey nods his head, “I’m out. Promise”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the shitshow in the next few chapters but it does lead to something, promise :P


	38. Tell Them To Piss Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finds himself in worse trouble after his last run with his dad, Ian worries more than ever.

Ian rubs his hands over his face the next day at school in frustration.  

Him and Mickey had an important lab to do today, one that he wouldn’t be able to complete in time without a partner. Not to mention Mickey’s grade would take a nasty hit if he didn’t participate, but Mickey hadn’t shown up at the Gallagher house that morning, and he was nowhere to be found at school.

Ian decides to send yet another text message before he heads to his first period chemistry class that’s due to start in ten minutes.

“ **Where the fuck are u??** ”

Mickey finally answers with one word. “ **Sick** ”

Ian knows that’s bullshit. If Mickey was sick, he would have told him in the morning that he wouldn’t be there, and when he left the Gallagher house in the afternoon yesterday, he’d been fine.

“ **Really Mick?? Come to school!** ”

“ **You’re gonna be pissed** ”

Ian’s stomach sinks as he reads that. “ **Why? Wtf did you do** ”

He can almost sense the hesitation in Mickey’s response. “ **I told you I was out, and I am. But I had to do one more thing last night to fix the fucking problem I started** ”

“ **What does that mean!** ”

Ian sends the text as he heads into his classroom, gathering the supplies alone that they will need for their lab to save time. He doesn’t get another response, but Mickey does show up for Chemistry class.

Twenty minutes late, and Ian can plainly see what he meant.

He’s covered in dark bruises, and his face is cut in a dozen different places. He looks like someone tried to fucking kill him, and several students gasp when he enters the classroom, even as he tries to nonchalantly hide his face beneath his hood.

Ian’s own jaw drops as Mickey casually walks over to his stool beside him, simply saying, “Hey”. He won’t look Ian in the eyes.

“ _Hey_? What the fuck happened!” Ian hisses, fighting himself to keep from running his hands over Mickey in concern. He knows there’s at least a couple pairs of eyes on them still.

Mickey tries to rub the side of his nose casually, but he winces at his own touch. “I had to go with dad and Iggy to get the real payment last night. But it got fucking ugly. Iggy was right, those guys _are_ fuckin nuts”.

Ian blinks back tears as he looks at him, whispering, “You better really be out Mick. I mean it. I can’t watch you kill yourself”.

“I said I was fucking out” Mickey snaps. He grabs his protective goggles from beside Ian roughly and yanks them on, clenching his teeth in pain as the bands snap over his bruises. He’s put up an invisible brick wall telling Ian the conversation is over.

He tries to focus on the lab, but Ian notices his boyfriend’s hands are shaking as he tries to hold the beakers still. Mickey barely says a word to him the entire time, until he suddenly stands up and mutters, “I’ll be back”.

He leaves the classroom without asking, and Ian looks at their teacher, who’d had a look of intense concern on his face ever since Mickey entered the classroom.

“Can I go with him?”

Mr. Richards nods, and Ian bites his lip to keep his face neutral as he hurries out into the hallway after Mickey. He sees him disappearing into the boy’s bathroom, and Ian bolts down the hallway and into it after him.

He grabs Mickey as soon as he’s inside and pulls him into his arms.

The two of them hold each other for a long time, sniffling back tears. Ian kisses the bruises on Mickey’s face, “I’m sorry I was so angry. I was just scared. I love you”.

Mickey nods into his shoulder, his voice muffled. “I love you too. And… I was fuckin scared too, to be honest. Thought they were gonna fucking kill me last night Ian, but my dad saved my life. Everything’s okay now though, we got the money back”.

The words twist nastily in Ian’s stomach, Mickey wouldn’t have been there if his dad hadn’t made him go.

But he decides to let it go, and just nods, “We better head back, or Richards is gonna send someone out to look for us”.

They both take a minute to shake off their emotions before they head to class, but the principal is waiting in there when they arrive, along with two police officers.

The whole class stares at them. “Mikhailo, I need you to come with me” the principal says firmly.

His eyes dart from her to the cops, “I didn’t fuckin do anything”.

“Let’s not do this in front of your classmates” one of the officers says.

Mickey glances back at his and Ian’s desk, “Well…I have a lab”. Mr. Richards looks at him kindly, “Don’t worry Mickey, it’s okay for you to miss one”.

One of the officers grabs Mickey’s arm gently, and his mouth opens slightly, but he doesn’t protest as they lead him out of the classroom.

Ian stands there in mild shock, looking after them until he sees his teacher in front of him.

“Ian? Can I talk to you in my office please? Class, continue with your labs. No talking about anything other than the assigned material, I mean it”.

Ian follows his teacher into his office located off of the classroom blindly, feeling overwhelmed. “Please, sit”. He obediently takes the seat across from him.

Mr. Richards voice is soft and sympathetic as he speaks. “I know Mickey is your friend, so I’m sure you are more than aware, as the school is, of his general…situation. At home, and with the law”.

Ian nods uncertainly, and his teacher continues, “When he showed up this morning, it was quite clear to me that he needs some help. I can see that you are very concerned for his wellbeing also, so I will fill you in on some things. I spoke to the principal once you two left the classroom, who called the police, and it turns out they already had Mr. Milkovich, Mickey’s father, in custody for a crime committed last night”.

Ian’s heart thuds in his chest as he takes this in, having a bad feeling about this.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss details with you, but he was arrested this morning shortly after Mickey arrived here at the school. The problem is, he implemented Mickey in the crime as well, and the evidence is apparently there to support that statement. The police were already on their way here to arrest Mickey”.

Ian buries his face in his hands in frustration, his voice muffled, “His dad is such a fucking asshole”.

His teacher clears his throat, “It is rather surprising for a parent to involve their child in this type of situation. I just want you to know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, and I hope this turns out okay for Mickey too”.

Ian nods, biting his lip as he wonders where the hell Mickey is now.

 

* **Mickey’s POV- shortly after** *

“Don’t worry… Mikhailo? I already have a plan in place to get these charges against you dropped”, Mickey’s appointed lawyer assures him as he sits in the interrogation room, stunned.

He can’t believe his dad actually sold him out, landing him with drug _and_ assault charges.

Even if it _was_ his fault, you don’t fucking snitch in the South Side, especially against your own blood. Mickey had been raised with that mantra in his brain from day one in the Milkovich home. From Terry himself. And now he was gonna fucking go back on it?

“I’ve made sure you will have access to a speedy trial, and it will take place this Thursday. Unfortunately, that means for the next two days you will be in custody”.

Mickey rubs his forehead, “I need to call someone. My sister”. His lawyer nods, “You can once processing is done”.

 

* **Back to Ian’s POV- that afternoon** *

“Mandy?” Ian asks into the phone. Her voice is crackling. “Yeah it’s me, hold on”.

He hears her shuffling around, and then her voice clears.

“Piece of shit Walmart phone… Mickey asked me to call you, cause he only got one. They are gonna hold him until his trial, well it’s not really a trial, he’s still seventeen, but it’s this Thursday. His lawyer got it marked as special circumstance, whatever that means…Mickey didn’t know either”.

Ian breathes into the phone, “Can we go see him?”

“No. Well not until before the trial, but I’ll see you there on Thursday, yeah?” He hesitates, “Mandy?” “Yeah?”

“What if… what if he goes to jail?”

He can’t see her, but he can almost feel her shrugging. “Ian, it’s happened before. He’ll be fine either way, try not to worry”.

Worry is all Ian does for the next couple days as he lives in radio silence. His whole family goes to the family court house with him on Thursday afternoon in support of Mickey, and they are allowed to see him before he goes into the courtroom. As a juvenile, they are doing a very small and closed trial, with only his appointed lawyer, a social worker and a judge being present.

Mickey enters the waiting room with his lawyer, uncuffed. He’s dressed nicely, wearing dress pants and an ironed blue button down, but he still looks pretty rough underneath his bruises and cuts.

Ian immediately goes over and gives him a reassuring hug, something no one in the room can judge him for underneath the circumstances. Liam notices everyone’s concern, and even though he doesn’t understand what’s going on, he wants to give him a hug too. Mickey does his best to smile for him as he does.

“We’re rooting for you Mickey” Fiona says encouragingly as he stands, trying to emanate some strength towards him. “Yeah man” Lip adds, the rest of the Gallaghers nodding their heads.

They all felt a sense of responsibility, after the ugly night at their house, and the fact that Mickey was around and helpful enough to feel like another family member at this point.

Mickey nods his thanks, pulling his lips in over his teeth as he tries to appear confident, and strong. “It’s time to go in Mikhailo” his lawyer says, her tone firm and self-assured.

“See you guys later” Mickey says, walking towards the door, but Liam grabs his hand to follow him in. Mickey stops and crouches beside him, and patting his arm reassuringly, “Listen, you gotta be a big man and wait outside, okay? You can’t come in. I’ll see you soon”.

Liam nods sadly as Fiona scoops him up, blinking back tears herself. Not one of them feels good about seeing Mickey in this situation, as much as they are all used to being bounced around between the legal system and social workers, it never gets easier.

Carl takes a step forward right as the lawyer opens the door to escort Mickey inside of the courtroom. “Mickey!”

Mickey turns to look back at him, eyebrow raised.

“Tell them to piss off!” Carl grins.

Mickey laughs before he steps inside, and disappears behind the door.


	39. The Court's Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's trial ends with a heartbreaking reality for him and Ian to accept.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Mickey clears his throat as he sits down beside his lawyer in the courtroom. He feels calm now, good. It’s not just because his lawyer seems confident that she can get him out of doing time either.

On the other side of that door are people who love him. And Mickey’s never had that before.

In the past, if him and Mandy were getting along well, she’d sometimes be out there, calmly waiting to hear the judge’s verdict. But there was never anyone else.

And now there’s an entire family out there that cares about him, Mickey Milkovich.

He’s been in a lot of trouble already in his relatively short life. Sometimes it feels like it follows him wherever he fucking goes. So, he doesn’t expect understanding from the world anymore, or for anyone to give a shit about him. He’s just damn grateful that some people do now.

As his lawyer, the judge, and the social worker debate back and forth, the talk of Mickey’s past, formal legalities, and Terry’s abusive history and role in the crime blur together for Mickey. He’s heard all of this shit at least a hundred times, and he soon allows his mind to wander to a place he would much rather be than in court right now.  

Somewhere with Ian.

He thinks of his secret boyfriend, and the day they _really_ met for the first time, at Oak Forest.

Fuck if he knew how important deciding to go on that stupid trip would be at the time. It was funny how Ian had always sort of been there in the background his life, whether a few streets away, or at the same fuckin school, but their paths had never really crossed before in a meaningful way. Not until he had decided to go on that dumb class trip back in September.

It was probably the best decision of his life.

“Do you understand what we’re saying to you Mr. Milkovich?”

Mickey blinks out of his train of thought and redirects his attention towards the voice.

The judge is looking at him with concern, her brow furrowed, and Mickey looks back at her in confusion, wondering what he had missed.

His lawyer clears her throat, “He was struck in the head a few times during the assault”.

Mickey glares at her, “I’m not fuckin retarded, I was just thinking”.

The judge, one Mickey hasn’t seen before, ignores his expletive.

“No one is saying you are, Mr. Milkovich. Ms. Davis and Mrs. Pennington, the social worker assigned to your case, have made it clear to me jail is not the place for you, not anymore. It doesn’t solve the underlying issues contributing to your criminal history”.

Mickey grins in relief, turning to his lawyer and nodding, “Nice”.

The judge continues, ignoring his casual response. “So, my decision stands along with their recommendations that you and your sister be immediately removed from the home, as your father is now temporarily incarcerated, and be put into foster care”.

Mickey spins around towards his lawyer, “Wait, what? What the fuck did you say to her!”

Terry was going away for a while, so what? Mickey and Mandy had lived on their own plenty of times before when he got locked up!

Why the fuck couldn’t these people mind their own goddamn business?

“Mr. Milkovich, please” the judge reprimands. “You will be going to a foster home along with your sister. It is rather far away, but due to your criminal history you were hard to place. Luckily, we did find one couple willing to take you both in. They live in Memphis”.

“Memphis! Are you fucking kidding me?” Mickey roars, getting up from his seat, “Well fuck you, as soon as I turn eighteen in a week and a half I’m fucking leaving! And I’ll be right back here and there’s nothing you can fucking do about it”.

She shakes her head, “Actually, you will both remain in foster care as wards of the state until you are twenty-one. Due to your circumstances, we feel it would beneficial for you to have ongoing guidance in your life. By twenty-one you will be finished high school, and starting a career”.

Mickey’s head swims as he falls back onto the chair. “I’ll do time instead. Here in Chicago” he says bluntly.

She smiles at him, trying to soften the blow. “This is not a punishment young man, rather it is meant to be a transformative experience, although there will be some conditions in place. Namely, no trouble with the law, you must stay in school, and no leaving the state of Tennessee. A caseworker in Memphis has been assigned to your case to monitor these stipulations. If they are broken, you will be charged, and your probation will end, resulting in in incarceration. In Memphis”.

Mickey looks up at her, his face now pale and drawn, “Please don’t do this”.

She closes her case file with an air of finality.

“You and your sister deserve a life away from abuse. And that’s my final decision”.

 

***Ian’s POV***

The social worker comes out of the courtroom first, and brings Mandy back inside without addressing any of them. Ian tries to stretch his neck to get a glimpse of Mickey as they pass through the door together, but he doesn’t see him.

She comes back out with Mickey and Mandy about ten minutes later, who both look angry as hell, and absolutely miserable. Ian’s stomach sinks as he realizes Mickey is going to do time.

But why is Mandy so upset, he wonders, looking at her face. She didn’t seem too concerned about Mickey getting put away earlier.

The worker addresses Fiona, “Miss Gallagher, if you don’t mind, they have requested to spend their last night in Chicago at your house rather than in our care. As long as you are okay with it, as they have agreed to be picked up in the morning without argument, I will allow it. They are not allowed to return to their home without supervision”.

Ian’s mouth drops along with his siblings as they all start to speak at once, “Last night in Chicago?” Fiona demands, her large brown eyes filled with concern.

The social worker nods, “They are being transferred to a foster home in Memphis tomorrow. I think they would prefer to discuss the details with you though, being that they are both old enough to understand their cases”.

She nods, bewildered, and the Gallaghers all circle around the two lost looking Milkovich’s and give them hugs. They take a van taxi home in silence, and Ian and Mickey take off as soon as they get home, leaving Mandy to explain everything to the rest of the family. They both feel guilty leaving her there, but neither one can bear to be around anyone else for another moment.

“I don’t understand, why so far?” Ian asks, blinking back tears as he sits on the front porch of the locked Milkovich house with Mickey. They had come to retrieve Mo from the backyard, and the dog bounds between them, trying to comfort them even though he doesn’t know why they’re upset.

Ian’s not surprised they had decided to take the siblings away from their psychotic father, but why this?

“No one else anywhere nearby would take us. We’re both almost 18, and I’ve been arrested a dozen times” Mickey answers dully, kicking at some dirt on the ground by his feet.

Ian is trying, he’s trying so fucking hard to be strong for Mickey right now, but he’s terrified, “Please don’t leave me”.

The words fall out of his mouth without his permission, and Mickey looks back at him with tears in his eyes, “I don’t fucking want to, Ian”.

It’s the final straw, “How the fuck am I gonna live without you now? You’re a part of everything in my life. You’re my best fucking friend. I love you” Ian sobs, burying his face into his knees. Mickey’s voice is hoarse and gravelly as he answers, “I don’t know what you want me to fucking do Ian. They’ll put me in jail if I try to run, and not here either. You think that wasn’t my first fucking idea?”

Ian can’t answer, he blindly digs his hand into Mo’s fur for comfort as he comes to sniff at him in concern. “C’mon”. Ian feels Mickey grab his arm and he opens his blurry eyes to see Mickey dragging him behind the house and into the mostly empty tool shed where they keep Mo sometimes, instead of a doghouse.

Mickey wraps his arms around Ian tightly as soon as they are inside, cradling his head, trying to give him strength he doesn’t have himself.

“I’m _gonna_ come back Ian, I swear. You know that right? It’s…it’s a few years. That’s all”. His voice cracks at the end, and Ian can tell his cheeks are streaked with tears as he hugs him closer, “Will you… wait for me?”

Ian pulls back, looking into Mickey’s reddened eyes, “Mickey…”

Mickey steps back, nodding, covering his teeth with his lips as he steels himself for the rest of the sentence.

Ian shakes his head, “How could you even ask that? Of course I’ll fucking wait”.

Mickey grabs him in relief, and the two of them hold each other for a very long time.

 

Mandy sleeps in Debbie’s room that night and Mickey sleeps on the floor beside Ian’s bed, like he does whenever he stays over on a normal night. But it wasn’t a normal night.

It had been very quiet and solemn in the Gallagher house, with no one saying much. No one knew what to say. The Gallaghers had been in and out of foster care before, but never like this. Never so far from home, and everything they knew.

Ian’s hangs his hand over his bed late that night, waiting. Everyone else is asleep, but he doesn’t think Mickey will be. He feels Mickey’s warm hand reach upwards and fill the empty space in his, and he squeezes it tightly, his chest heaving as he struggles to keep it together for his boyfriend’s sake.

He holds Mickey’s hand for hours until they finally fall asleep, and their hands fall apart.

When Ian wakes up in the morning, Mickey isn’t there, and he immediately panics.

Did he decide to run?

He hurries downstairs, and he sees Mickey coming back in the front door just as he gets there, his face looking pinched and exhausted.

Ian runs and pulls him into a worried hug, “I thought you left”.

Mickey sniffs, shaking his head.  “Just went for a walk”. He tries to give a reassuring laugh, but it comes out weakly as Ian pulls away from him, the rest of the family starting to come down the stairs.

They soon hear a car pull up, and the doorbell rings shortly after.

As promised, the social worker is standing at the front door, looking in the house expectantly as Fiona opens it. She nods her head at Mickey and Mandy, wordlessly telling them it’s time to go.

Mickey looks for a moment like he seriously wants to bolt, but Mandy places her hand on his shoulder and squeezes, and he blinks back into the moment right as Mo comes up to them, wagging his tail, ready for wherever they are going.

The social worker looks down at him uncertainly, “He…can’t come with you. You know that, right? They didn’t say anything about you having a dog. We can drop him at the shelter if you’d like”.

Mickey eyes widen, “No! Fuck no!” He turns to Ian, his eyes pleading, “Will you…can you please take care of Mo for me?” Ian nods, unable to speak.

Mickey turns to the rest of the Gallaghers, “Um…I’ll miss you guys. Thank you…for everything”.

Liam comes up to him and several of the Gallaghers look away, hurting too much to watch as Liam says goodbye to his best friend outside of his brothers and sisters.

“Be good. Take good care of Mo for me, alright?” He ruffles Liam’s curly hair with his tattooed hand as he pulls away from the hug, and the rest of the Gallaghers stay inside while Ian follows Mickey and Mandy out to the car.

Ian has to hold Mo by the collar to keep him from jumping inside, when the dog starts to struggle as he realizes something is wrong. Mickey gives Ian one last hug, and Mandy does too, before they get into the car.

Mickey rolls his window down. As the car drives away, Ian hears him calling back, not giving a fuck that Mandy is in the car beside him.

“I’m coming back Gallagher, I promise”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think is gonna deal with it better?


	40. Losing Someone Like That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian struggles to deal with not having Mickey around anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SO I know I pissed a bunch of you off the last chapter, and to be honest it’s gonna get a little worse before it gets better. BUT, this entire swing in the story serves an important purpose that is only a few chapters away. Just bear with me ;)
> 
> Also I had today off, and part of yesterday so I won't be holding out on posting either :) Here's a big chapter of angst for you.
> 
> Remember ‘If it’s not okay, it’s not the end’ <3

Ian brings Mo back inside the Gallagher house, and as he closes the front door behind himself he sees his whole family looking at him in silence.

“Ian-” Fiona tries, but he immediately cuts her off.

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it”. He pushes past her abruptly and heads right up to his room, slamming the door closed behind him, he doesn’t even let Mo follow him in.

He wants to fucking break something, smash something into fucking pieces, and he paces in agitation for a moment or two before he breaks down, shoving his face into a pillow to mask the sound as he releases his frustration and sadness.

Ian eventually wears himself out, and he hears a tentative knock on the door a few hours later as he lays on his bed, completely exhausted by his silent ranting. He makes his face carefully blank as Lip comes in, and quickly grabs a magazine that he pretends he’s been looking at this whole time.

“Alright if I come in?” Lip asks.

“You’re already in” Ian answers rudely, unable to keep his foul mood from entering his tone.

Lip shrugs, “Yeah well, I can leave if you want. Listen, I’ve never really had a friend like that I guess, but I’m sure it hurts like a bitch losing one”.

Ian nods and bites his lip, feels his agitation cool into sadness again.

“Yeah…it does”.

It’s all he can get out.

When he goes to sleep that night, he invites Mo up to sleep beside him in his small bed. The dog sprawls out beside him on the bed, and Ian runs his fingers over his black and white fur as his brothers sleep. Ian feels tears running down his cheeks as he looks at the dog, who seems just as down as he is.

“You miss him too, don’t you?” Ian whispers.

Mo lets out a big sigh in response.

Ian nods, feeling like the dog is the only one he can even speak honestly to. “You’re all I’ve got left of him now”.

When Ian is home alone the next day, he texts Mickey to call him, knowing he will have had at least half a day to settle into his new house already. Mickey calls a few minutes later, and Ian answers immediately.

But before he even says anything, he immediately hears “Hey you”.

Mickey’s voice sounds tinny, and far away. Ian closes his eyes at the sound of it.

“Hey. What’s the new place like?”

Mickey clears his throat, “Different, live right in the city pretty much”.

Ian nods even though Mickey can’t see him, “What are your foster people like?”

“I don’t fuckin know, nice I guess? I’m not gonna start any shit though, promise. Gonna get out of here as soon as I can”.

Ian laughs softly, “Yeah. Wonder how long that will last”.

He can tell Mickey is grinning on the other side of the phone, but then he hears him clear his throat again. His voice is much softer now.

“I miss you Ian”.

Ian rubs his hand over his face, feeling his gut wrench as he fails to avoid to the painful emotions from flooding back up. “It’s only been a day” he weakly jokes.

“Doesn’t matter. I already fuckin miss you, not gonna lie and say I don’t”.

Ian feels tears spring into his eyes, and he can’t help himself.

“Please come home”.

Mickey lets out a shaky sigh after a moment of silence, “Don’t do that Ian, that’s not fuckin fair”.

“I know… I just… I don’t know what to fucking do Mick”.

“Just, pretend I’m away for a couple days. On a run again, you know?”

Ian sniffs, “I’ll try, I don’t see that fucking working too well”.

Mickey laughs, and the beautiful sound that usually makes Ian feel lighter, makes him feel worse. “Yeah, I know. I gotta go though, got a fuckin new social worker to meet. Mandy’s waitin for me outside. Talk to you later...love you”.

“I love you too…”

Ian holds the phone up to his ear even after Mickey ends the call, listening to the dead tone for a moment before he finally whispers, “Bye Mickey”.

Ian’s family was quieter than usual for the first day or so after Mickey was gone, but then they slowly went back to their normal selves.

And Ian, well, he couldn’t. He was stuck in limbo, unable to move forward, and unable to go back.

For the first several days, he tried to pretend that Mickey was just doing a run, like he told him to. He went to school, went to work, and he followed a repetitive routine of getting up in the morning, showering, and going about his day like he needed to, blocking out all thoughts of reality.

But Mickey had never been gone for more a few days before, and that imaginary situation soon fell apart, because Mickey kept texting him too.

Something he’d never been able to do around Terry.

It was like Mickey was always there, in the back of his mind, on his shoulder, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there at all.

Ian was beginning to feel like he was dragging a very heavy weight. Like an actor in a shitty play, he was trying to pretend his whole world hadn’t of just been rocked. And even though he knew it wasn’t fair, he quickly started to resent Mickey for it.

It’s not like he could just go back to his life before Mickey was in it, he was stuck in a life that was much different now. Alone, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and no one around that he could even talk to about it.

Ian feels a little guilty, but after the first week or so he stops picking up the phone all the time, and doesn’t answer Mickey’s texts as often, because every time he does it brings him right back to the dangerously low feeling. Every time a phone call ends, he sits around fucked up over it for at least the next two hours.

One night he forgets to get back to Mickey before he falls asleep, and he wakes up in the morning to six different worried messages from him. He sighs at first, but then as he looks on the date on his phone his gut wrenches, and he quickly calls him.

Mickey picks up instantly, “Ian? What the hell is going on? I’ve been fucking worried all goddamn night”. Ian presses a fist to his forehead, immediately apologizing. “I’m so sorry Mick, I crashed last night. Happy Birthday!”

Internally, he swears. He just wasn’t himself, there’s no way he’d forget about something like this normally.

Mickey’s tone softens, “Thanks… and about that, I know it’s hard for you to get time off from work and school, but do you think you could maybe take a bus up for a visit or something? I’m not allowed to travel from Memphis, it’s part of my restrictions for now. But fuck Ian, I’d kill to see you just for an hour even”.

Ian bites his lip. It’s not like he doesn’t want to see him. But he’s worried about coming back from it... how hard it will be. And there’s no way he can swing a trip like that anywhere near often enough to keep both of them happy.

But it’s Mickey’s birthday…and if that’s what he wants…Ian looks up the tickets on his phone and his eyes widen at the price… the best deal he can find is $80 each way. The entire trip will cost the same as entire weeks worth of groceries at the Gallagher home, and he’s gonna have to borrow, and ask for an advance. There’s just no other way to afford it.

But it’s for Mickey. “Okay…how about next Sunday? I have it off. It will literally be a couple hours though, it’s like 11 hours each way…”

Mickey’s tone immediately brightens, “Yeah, yeah that’d be great! Fuck, I can’t wait to see you”.

Ian answers quietly, “Yeah”.

Mickey sounds a little less enthused as he presses him through the phone, “You alright Ian? I feel like you’re just sitting there waiting for me to talk lately…phone works two fuckin ways you know. You can call me up anytime”.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine, sorry Mick. Um… Mo’s good” Ian struggles to make normal conversation, wishing he could just reach through the phone and make this easier. The pretending like everything is fine is just exhausting.  

Mickey’s tone relaxes again, “Yeah? I miss him too. Glad you guys can take care of each other while I can’t”. He laughs somewhat bitterly, and Ian looks out the window dully.

“He misses you too”.

 

Ian’s normalcy act quickly falls apart over the next few days. The thought of a visit, if anything, has made everything worse. Ian feels like it’s just gonna be another painful goodbye.

After three days of barely leaving his bed, and barely eating, Fiona tells him she wont let him stay home from school sick anymore unless he actually goes to a doctor. So reluctantly, Ian agrees, even though he knows he’s not sick.

The doctor’s gonna tell him he’s fine and to go back to school, he’s sure of it.

“I think you’re suffering from severe depression Ian”.

The doctor’s eyes skim over his test results again, “There’s nothing physically wrong with you. But based on what your sister is telling me, and my interpretation of you right now, it seems a likely conclusion. Was there a recent loss in your life?”

Fiona quickly jumps in, “Yes! His best friend moved away to Memphis, it was…not under good circumstances. Foster care”. Ian glares at her for sharing this personal fact. She had insisted on coming in after he had refused to offer up any information himself to the doctor, playing the role of the concerned parent.

The doctor nods, “That will do it. Loss can be a triggering point for mental illnesses that have been lying dormant as well. Are there by any chance any other members in the family with a history of mental illness?”

Ian and his sisters’ eyes flicker over to each other, “Our mother” they say together. Ian feels horrified, what the fuck did that mean for him?

“Ian any other symptoms maybe you would like to mention that your sister didn’t? Any heart palpitations, nausea, racing thoughts?”

Ian nods, feeling all of those things starting up right as they speak. He doesn’t want to be in the office anymore. He wants to run.

“Well I think anxiety might also be affecting your behavior. The two are often comorbid. But-“ she scrawls something on her piece of paper, “These two medications should help. The first one you take every day. The second one is only for panic attacks, mind you”.

She tears off the prescription and hands it over, Fiona taking it after Ian refuses to.


	41. Stepping Off The Rollercoaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian makes a difficult decision for his mental health after visiting Mickey in Memphis.

_*Two and a half weeks after Mickey left*_

Ian had been told that the medication wouldn’t help right away, but he hadn’t expected to feel worse after taking it. Walking around with that small bottle of pills in his pocket for emergencies makes him feel like a basket case, and swallowing the other one every single night is worse.

Like he’s broken, unable to function without the fucking things. Mickey was gone, and now this.

By the time he boards his bus on Saturday night, Ian is beyond lost.

He’s determined to go through with the visit for Mickey’s sake, but part of him feels it would better for Mickey if he just didn’t go at all. He’s not the person Mickey fell in love with anymore, he’s broken. Useless, already falling apart after a few weeks.

And apparently this problem had always been there, just waiting for when he was at his lowest to show up?

How would he be after _years_? After being unable to move forward in life, and unable to go back. Just waiting. And then Mickey would come back to someone he wouldn’t even _want_ anymore.

The bus to Memphis leaves that night and stretches into the morning, the trip is long and exhausting. Ian only brings his backpack with a few things in it, one being his small bottle of pills for anxiety attacks, but he’s not bored during the eleven hours. There’s a lot swirling around in his head.

Fear, uncertainty, and guilt.  

He gives Mickey updates on how far away he is as requested, and when he sends the “ **One hour away”** text he gets back,

“ **! :D** “

Ian’s legs are wobbly and sore from sitting still for so long when he finally gets off the bus at the Memphis station, but right as he begins to stretch on the pavement he gets the wind knocked out of him by an exuberant tackle.

He doesn’t even see Mickey right away, he’s just tangled in his arms. But then Mickey pulls away to look at his face, and Ian smiles softly at the massive grin on it.

“Fuck man, I missed you so much”.

Hold it together, Ian reminds himself.

“I missed you too” he answers honestly.

Mickey looks like he’s been stressed out lately, with dark circles under his eyes, but he’s all smiles now. There’s a strange tug in Ian’s stomach as he looks at him, and Mickey tips his head, noticing something’s off.

“You feeling okay?”

Ian tries to shrug it off, giving Mickey a smile. “Um, yeah, think I just need to walk around for a while. Stiff, been on a fuckin bus for eleven hours, y’know?”

“Yeah, sure. Come on”.

Mickey leads Ian out of the bus station and down the street, but he stops suddenly in front of a motel, and turns to lift his eyebrows at Ian suggestively.

Ian looks at him uncertainly, “You wanna get a room? Can’t we just go to your house?”

“No fuckin privacy. Wouldn’t even be able to hold your hand, and I wanna do more than that. Sides, I already rented a room. Belated birthday present to myself” Mickey shows him the keycard and grins, and Ian feels himself smile for real this time.

Whatever else was going on, he knew sex would always been an escape for them.

It’s a decent little room. Mickey goes in first, inspecting the bed while Ian goes to the bathroom to take a piss, and he hears Mickey rambling from the bedroom, “Would have liked to show you around Memphis a bit, but since you’ve only got like four hours I figured this might be better”.

Ian comes up behind him once he’s done, wrapping his arms around Mickey and letting out a contented sigh as he feels the boy underneath him soften. “It’s perfect”.

Mickey lays back onto the bed, holding out his arms and saying softly, “C’mere, I just wanna hold you for a while”.

Ian crawls onto the bed and they curl up together, warmth and comfort radiating between them. Ian remembers, “So, you’re 18 now. How’s it feel?”

“Terrible” Mickey answers truthfully, looking up at the ceiling, “Until now”. He looks down at Ian, and presses his lips to him, his eyes closing at the touch. Ian feels an ache in his chest as he kisses him back, “Tell me about it?”

Mickey shakes his head through the kiss, “I’m not in Memphis right now Ian. I’m in Chicago with you, alright?” Ian is confused for a second until he realizes what Mickey is saying.

“Okay...we're home". 

He feels Mickey deepen the kiss, and then his tongue flickers in against Ian’s, each movement laced with need. “I missed you so fucking much” he breaths into Ian’s neck, nipping and kissing it as he reaches a hand down to palm at Ian’s dick.

Ian feels himself respond instantly, even though he’d been too sad to be horny until now. His body switches on like a light at Mickey’s touch, electricity suddenly arcing between them as they both struggle to get each other’s clothes off.

“I need you” Ian whispers into his mouth, messily kissing him as he backs him off the bed, feeling sticky from the long bus ride. “Where you goin?” Mickey pants back.

“Shower” he answers, pulling away to head to the bathroom. He remembers wanting to do that a long time ago, a flashback to a better time.

Mickey nods and quickly follows him in, both of them jumping in the shower before the water’s even hot so they don't have to wait to come together again. It runs like icy rain down their backs as they pant and push against each other, not able to get their hands and mouths on each other enough.

The water turns, and the bathroom fills with steam.

“I fuckin love you” Mickey pants, turning around. Ian grabs his shoulders, kissing between the blades as he lines himself up, pressing his fingers into Mickey first to hastily stretch him. Mickey lets out a low moan, and Ian murmurs “I love you too”, as he pushes his cock inside the other boy just moments later.

Mickey’s hands reach back and try to pull him impossibly closer as Ian fucks into him, the sounds coming out of him unreal.

Ian wonders if he had even jerked on since he got here, doesn’t seem like it. He’s writhing at his touch, moaning at each thrust. Ian closes his eyes and imagines he’s back in September, inside a tent, with Mickey by his side. The beginning of it all.

After they both finish, they stay in the shower for a while, water pouring down over them as their foreheads press together in silence. Ian doesn’t know what Mickey’s thinking, but as he stands there, he’s glad Mickey can’t tell whats running through his mind.

Tears sneak out from his eyes, mixing with droplets of water from shower, and hitting the tiled floor by their feet. 

 

“I wish you could stay longer” Mickey says, studying the bus schedule flashing across the electronic board.

Ian takes his momentary distraction as an opportunity to sneak a pill into his mouth, letting it dissolve underneath his tongue. He’s desperate for some mental relief.

Mickey looks back at him, more serious now, and Ian nods in response, feeling his throat close up with emotion.

This is exactly what he had been afraid of, the crushing pain of saying goodbye, and not knowing how long it would be until they could see each other again.

Mickey checks the time on his phone, “You better board Ian. Unless you want to stay here of course, which I’m totally fuckin cool with by the way. Fuck school, and work”.

He grins as he teases Ian, but Ian just shakes his head, “I’ll board. I just want you to know that…I love you. Ok? Don’t forget that”

Mickey smiles at him, pulling him into one last hug goodbye. “I love you too, so much. Thanks for comin out Ian. I know it wasn’t cheap, and it was probably a major pain in the ass, but it means a lot to me”.

As Ian gives him one last weak smile goodbye, and gets on the bus, he realizes something as he looks back through the window at Mickey. The visit has done completely different things for each of them.

Mickey is glowing, his happiness renewed by it. But Ian is trembling as he takes his seat, feeling overwhelmed and crushed by brutal emotions.

And he realizes, he can’t do this again. He can’t keep saying goodbye, it hurts too fucking much.

It hurts too much pretending each day that Mickey’s coming back soon, because he’s not. He’s not. The most Ian would ever be able to afford would be a couple visits a year.

The bus driver closes the door right as Ian moves to get up, and without thinking Ian immediately takes out his phone and sends, “ **I’m really sorry. I can’t do this anymore** ”.

He watches with a sick feeling in his stomach as he sees Mickey pull his phone out, checking the text his phone had alerted him to. His glowing face falls as he reads it, and he looks up at the moving bus with his mouth opened in surprise, and then hurt crashes down over his face.

Ian chokes out a sob as Mickey paces by the stop, seeing his mouth moving, Ian can tell he is swearing even though he can’t hear him. He answers his ringing phone tentatively, knowing he at least owes Mickey that.

This isn’t how he wanted to do this.

“Don’t do this” Mickey begs, getting smaller and smaller as the bus drives further away.

Ian can barely see him, and he struggles to keep his voice down as he answers, “I have to Mick. _I’m so fucking sorry_ ”.

He wants to try to explain, try to tell him why, as he hears Mickey huff into the phone, but there’s nothing he can say to make it better. He’s weak, and he’s giving up, and that’s all there is to it.

It might be selfish, but he can’t keep pretending anymore. He can’t live in this limbo of desperately missing Mickey, and waiting for him to come back. And whether Mickey would understand it or not, it’s better for him too. He deserves a normal boyfriend to go along with his new, normal life. He could be _out_ here.

“That’s it huh? You really gonna fucking do this?” Ian can hear the pain in Mickey’s voice and he chokes back tears at the sound of it, even though he’s one of the only people on the bus.

“Yeah” is all he manages to get out.

He can tell Mickey is fuming as he asks, “So what, you want me to just fuck off?”

Ian gulps, his racing mind quickly numbing from the pill, “I…think it will be better if… look, this isn’t how I wanted to do this, and it wasn’t really planned... but isn’t it better at least that I came to say goodbye in person?"

“Fuck you Ian”. The line goes dead.

Ian stares the phone in his hand for a long time before he puts it away.

By the time his bus gets to Chicago, he feels like the rollercoaster ride has come to a stop, and even though he’s dizzy now, he’s only got to worry about moving forward.

No more looking back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah right Ian. :P
> 
> But also, try and be understanding of him (as hard as it is, because we all love Mickey too) because depression and anxiety really, really mess you up. Just like losing someone does.


	42. Life Goes On?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries his best to heal after the breakup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I hate these chapters too, but I can't ignore this part either! So I'm double posting just to get us through this bump in the road a little faster lol

The thing about moving forward is, you have to have a destination. Something you want to reach, or attain. And Ian didn’t have that anymore. He was lost.

As soon as he gets home and lays in his own bed that night after ending things with Mickey, he feels that overwhelming fear start to rise up in him again, and before he knows it he’s up again and on his knees in front of the toilet, retching loudly while his head spins.

_What did he do?_

Mo startles him by pushing the bathroom door open with his nose, and he sits there whining until Ian puts his arms around him, holding onto him for support. He remembers what Mickey said, _“Glad you guys can take care of each other while I can’t”_.

“My backpack, Mo. _Backpack_ ” Ian says weakly, enormously grateful for the dogs training as he comes padding back into the bathroom a few minutes later with it.

Ian pulls out that small bottle of “emergency pills” and carefully tips one out, jamming it under his tongue and closing his eyes until he feels the panic begin to subside.

The pills, for the week and a half they last, keep him numb as he takes them every day, ignoring the doctor’s advice and not allowing himself to feel anything.

But when he goes back in, desperate to get a refill prescription, his doctor tells him he can’t keep taking them every day, or he won’t be able to get anymore. It’s an addictive substance apparently.

“You should seek counselling for your depression and anxiety. I have some resources I can direct you to” she offers. Ian bites his tongue to keep himself from telling her to fuck off.

Fuck sitting there and crying to someone over Mickey in counselling. What good would that do?

None of them knew Mickey like he did.  

_Late June (around two months later)_

Ian walks home from school on the last day of Grade 11 alone.

He’d eventually managed to get back to work, and school. But Kash wasn’t pleased with his absentmindedness during his shifts, or how often he would take smoke breaks. And the school hadn’t of been pleased with the drop in his grades, or how often he was kicked out of class for not paying attention.

He started relying a little more on alcohol and weed, and he got caught sipping vodka from a water bottle in chemistry class on one of the last days of school. Fiona had been furious with him, and even Lip had looked at him strangely when he heard about it.

“Just...why?” was all he been able to say, and Ian couldn’t even answer him. Because he felt better when he drank or smoked, he guessed.

Because it was easier to get through the days that way.

He’d barely scraped by through that last month of school.

But lucky for him, because he’d been a good student before, his teachers had gone easy on him and allowed him to pass.

Ian ends up downtown one day after a full day at ROTC, and feeling a bit peckish he heads towards the first café he sees. He doesn’t realize where he is at first, not until the waitress comes over and he hears,

“Hey sunshine. Where’s your friend?”

Ian’s mouth drops open as he looks around himself and realizes he is back at Cora’s, where him and Mickey had gone to get breakfast together on Christmas Eve.

He feels tears welling into his eyes as he blinks up at her familiar face, lamely coming up with “He’s gone”.

She looks at him tenderly, clearly feeling awful for bringing it up, “Oh…I’m so sorry honey. Let me get you a coffee and a slice of apple pie. On the house”.

As summer soaked into the city of Chicago and its streets, the essence of Mickey seemed to dissipate from them. Mickey hadn’t walked these sidewalks for a few months now, hadn’t left cigarette butts underneath the school bleachers. No one had received a Milkovich beatdown, or a snide remark from his direction. Ian hadn’t heard his voice, his laugh. Or felt his hands, his lips.

In the beginning, he thought it would be easier for him, without the constant reminder of what he had lost.

But Mickey was everywhere. He was Chicago, he was the highschool bleachers, he was the South Side. He was everywhere and nowhere to be found, off making his mark in Memphis while Ian stayed behind and lived with only the ghost of him.

With more free time on his hands now that school was out, Ian had begun looking for Mickey in places without realizing it at first.

He had spent half a day underneath the highschool bleachers, somehow wondering if maybe Mickey would be there when he showed up, like he always used to be. Of course, there was no one there when Ian had arrived, and he had just sat there in the dirt for hours, thinking.

He goes to the abandoned construction site on Rogers Street next. He brings Mo with him this time, who bounds ahead of him eagerly. He seems dejected once they actually go inside the building with _fuck_ spray painted over it, and find it empty.

Ian hadn’t brought Mo here at all since Mickey had left, so maybe the dog had thought they would find him here.

“He’s not here Mo” Ian says gently, his voice echoing slightly in the empty room as he looks around. He hears Mo bark and Ian turns to see him sniffing intently at something. An old can of spray paint lying forgotten on the floor.

Mickey’s brand.

But Ian’s eyes are quickly drawn to the wall above it, where a new piece stretches across it in bold red letters.

_I fucking love him_

Ian immediately walks up to it in wonder, running his fingers over the dry paint. It hadn’t been here the last time him and Mickey were here together.

_Was it possible…?_

Ian runs to the Milkovich house with Mo.

The dog is easily outrunning him, although he keeps looping back to Ian, picking up on his excitement and running with it.

Ian’s heart sinks when they get there and he sees the house still sitting just as it was left, hollow and empty. He suddenly remembers Mickey showing up on the morning he had left, after Ian had though he had taken off. He said he was coming back from a walk. He must have done the graffiti then.

Ian goes up the door anyways and knocks tentatively, but it’s useless. The padlock is still there too.

He goes around the side of the house to peek in Mickey’s old bedroom window, just to look at the bed they once shared, but the blind is drawn, and he can’t see anything.

When Ian comes back around to the front yard Mo is whining and pawing at the locked door, and Ian realizes it’s cruel to keep searching for Mickey this way. It’s hurting Mo, and it’s hurting him.

He doesn’t go back, as the summer goes on.

And things slowly change.

Fiona had pointed out one day that he was starting to neglect Mo, forgetting to walk him and sometimes even feed him, leaving her to pick up the slack, and it made Ian feel fucking awful.

Mo was all he had left of Mickey, and he hadn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t deserve this.

At first, he started out just making his days about the dog. Getting up and going out for walks, playing with him in the yard, buying him stuff. And then he started making days about himself too.

The days get longer, and hotter, and Ian finds himself getting through them a little more easily. He spends more time with his siblings, and he helps around the house more. He goes to work, and sticks with ROTC, taking advantage of their summer programs. His training there helps keep him healthy and in shape. His weight had continued to drop for some time since April, but he was finally more stable now, and he made an effort to eat better.

It becomes sort of a hobby for Ian, cooking up healthy meals for himself and looking into the nutrition information. Lots of fish, and chicken. Lots of veggies. Fiona’s thrilled when he makes dinner for them all, but less than thrilled when she sees the grocery bills, so he cuts back a bit.

He does all these things to distract himself as much as possible during the day, to keep himself moving forward instead of falling apart. He’d been dangerously close for a while.

He takes Mo on runs with him through the neighborhood sometimes, carefully avoiding areas that reminded him of Mickey. He had learned to avoid setting himself off, avoid giving in to the crushing sadness whenever he could.

Some nights, it still took his hold on him, and he felt more alone than ever as he silently cried, wishing he had done things differently.

There was one night that he almost gave in and sent Mickey a message, but he let himself look at Mickey’s Facebook page first, and he was surprised to see a new picture of him. He hadn’t uploaded it of course, it was Mandy’s, but he was tagged in it. It was a picture of them at some bar with what looked like a new group of friends.

Mickey didn’t look thrilled, but he did look okay. It wouldn’t fair to send him a message just because he was feeling weak. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him any more.

It was especially hard when Liam would occasionally bring up Mickey, as he rarely talked at all, so it was clear he never left the little boy’s mind either. Liam would make scribble drawings and say they were for Mickey, and Ian carefully stored each one in a binder hidden in his dresser.

He wonders if someday he’ll be able to give them to Mickey.

 

Ian’s sitting on the porch one night, having a cigarette in the stifling summer heat with his free hand roaming lazily over Mo, when Lip comes out and joins him. He tips his head at the box of cigarettes, an unspoken question.

Ian hands one to his outstretched hand, and Lip takes it, scratching Mo’s head afterwards. “He’s a good dog, eh?” he says around the cigarette.

Ian nods, “Yeah”.

Lip looks at him for a long moment, “Still miss him, don’t you?”

He doesn’t have to say the name. In fact, most of the Gallaghers other than Liam usually avoided talking about Mickey now.

Ian’s eyes flicker upwards at the mention of him, named or not.

“Yeah”.

Lip takes a pull from his cigarette and tousles Ian’s red hair with his hand afterwards, “Never had a friend like that I guess. But you know, life goes on, doesn’t it?”

Ian doesn’t know what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize this chapter is a little awkwardly written but the time jumps were a little hard to work with (there's no way I'm writing months worth of Ian spiraling, we all get the point) :P


	43. Born With A Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's choice hits him harder when he sees someone he hadn't been expecting to at a school party.

*Beginning of August*

Ian lies in bed, once more unable to sleep. Nights are usually the hardest for him, because it’s so difficult to shut off his mind, and the distractions that he’s established of the day are gone.

He hears the loud hum of a motorcycle passing on the street, and listens to his brothers’ restful breathing for a while after, trying to convince his body to follow their patterns. It’s useless.

Eventually he gives in, and he shoves Mo over slightly on his bed, who lets out an exasperated sigh in response. Ian sticks his hand under his mattress and digs around until he feels the small stack of photographs he hides there.

Lifting his bedsheet over his head to keep it from waking his brothers, he flicks on his phone light to look at them. The first one on the stack is the picture of him and Mickey just before the dance, one of his favorites.

He touches the photo softly, gently running his finger over Mickey’s form as he feels a tear roll down his cheek.

Some nights, when he’s feeling better, he uses the pictures for other purposes.

The thought of being with anyone else still makes him feel sick, and even though just jerking off to pictures of his ex boyfriend makes him feel like a bit of a fucking loser sometimes, it’s all he really has an interest in. Anything else would still feel like cheating to him.  

But most nights are like tonight, when his lonely thoughts keep him up, drilling into his mind. As much as he tries to force them away, they are always there, and just waiting to appear in quiet moments.

When something funny happens, he still wants to tell Mickey about it, and hear him laugh over it too. When he has a frustrating day, there’s no one he’d rather bitch to. When he has a nightmare he still reaches out, sweating, hoping Mickey’s there.

And when he wakes up, he realizes he’s still in one.

He sits with a group of kids from ROTC the next day, exhausted from a lack of sleep and zoning out while they chatter excitedly about something. The only thing he’s caught on to is them talking about Kim, one of the other members from their group. She’s a year older, and had graduated in June, so they wanted to throw her some sort of party before she moved for post secondary school next week.

Apparently, she had decided to accept an offer at a university in Canada, so she’s going a month early to get acclimated. This is what Bradley is explaining to all of them very animatedly, anyways.

Bradley is the like only fucking openly gay kid, not only in ROTC, but also at their school, and he’s known for throwing amazing parties. Nobody gives him a hard time about being gay, because his dad’s a tough local cop, and his mom’s an incredible doctor.

He comes from a good family, with good connections, and apparently that makes it okay.

Ian will never understand these things.

“Ian?”

He blinks and turns towards Bradley, noticing everybody is getting up and getting their stuff to leave. “Yes?”

“Are you paying attention at all? I’ve asked twice if you’ll make sure Kim comes to my place tomorrow”.

Ian rubs his face tiredly, “Yeah…okay. Wanna run over the plan with me again? Sorry, I didn’t sleep well…last night”.

He hadn’t slept well in months.

“Sure, I’ll walk back with you, kay kay? My dad’s patrolling your neighborhood today and I’m meeting up with him for brunch after anyways so”.

Ian winces at Bradley’s tone. He’s so over the top sometimes. He is literally the reason Mickey used to beat up fags, although he’d avoided Bradley himself for the same reasons everyone else did. Ian can just picture what Mickey’s face would look like if he was sitting here listening to this, and it makes him smile.

Ian walks home from ROTC with Bradley, listening to him talk about what he thinks they should organize for the party. Ian mostly nods his head, not offering much feedback. Even though it sounds like it might be fun, he’s just not really in the headspace for partying.

And somehow, he had gotten roped into this too.

“You just gotta make sure she doesn’t find out about it” Bradley tells him excitedly, “Keep her distracted tomorrow, and bring her to my house when I tell you to”.

Ian eyes flicker away, distracted himself, as a motorcycle comes down the street and revs right past them, before circling back and going back the way it had came.

“Ian?”

He turns back to Bradley, making himself smile, “Yeah. Sure. I can do that”.

He has to work the next day, but he texts Kim afterwards to tell her they have an impromptu ROTC meeting at Bradley’s house and, ‘could he meet up with her before? because he wants to ask some questions about the school she got into, he is interested in going there some day’ he lies.

Maybe a bit of an awkward invite, but she agrees anyways, so Bradley won’t be able to give him any shit.

He’s walking to her house when he hears a motorcycle revving up behind him, and as he turns to squint at it he notices it’s the same one from yesterday. Some sort of modified street Enduro, mostly black with orange-red markings.

He frowns at it as it slows behind him, edging beside him on the sidewalk. “What the fuck is your problem?” he demands, glaring at the dark helmet, “Fuck off”.

 The driver doesn’t answer, but grips their gloved hands more tightly onto the handles of the bike before they drive away.

“Asshole” Ian mutters, continuing on his way.

An hour later, Ian brings Kim up the sidewalk to Bradley’s house, and he rolls his eyes as he realizes it won’t be much of a surprise.

People are already shitfaced, and the party has extended to include what looks like a decent chunk of the highschool.

Kim laughs, “Was this supposed to be a surprise party?”

“Supposed to be”.

He heads up the stairs with her, and as soon as he brings her inside everyone starts cheering and calling out to her. She was pretty fucking popular, so the walk over had been a little award, with Ian not being sure what to talk to her about.

Ian didn’t really fit in anywhere at school, he was mostly a drifter before he met Mickey.

And now here he was again.

Ian finishes the beer Bradley had handed him when he walked in the door and grabs another one, heading through the throng of people and towards the door. He’s glad for the excuse to disappear once Bradley takes over leading Kim around.

Ian sits on the front porch and drinks his beer, watching the groups of drunk teenagers come and go.

He squints at one of the girls as she passes, she looks incredibly familiar. He must be seeing things. He rubs his hand across his face and looks again.

It can’t be… he’s not even drunk yet…

He calls out, “…Mandy?”

The girl turns back, and it is fucking Mandy. Ian’s mouth drops open as she looks at him uncomfortably. “What the…what are you doing here!”

She sighs, “Uh, well. Terry got out early, and made an appeal. He got custody back”. Ian’s head swims, that means Mickey’s back too!

“When?” he asks, standing up shakily.

“Yesterday”. She looks back at her group of friends, looking like she would rather be anywhere else but talking to him, and it confuses him.

“Where…where’s Mickey? I thought, I can’t believe he didn’t tell-“

She interrupts him. “Listen, I know okay?”

Ian’s heart catches in his throat, “You know what?”

She looks at him and laughs in disbelief, but there’s no humor in it. “I’m not stupid! I know he’s in love with you. I don’t think you feel the same fucking way though”.

He practically stutters as he answers, in shock, “I do- how the hell do you know? Did he tell you?”

Mandy laughs bitterly, “No, he didn’t tell me anything. In fact I didn’t even tell him I know”.

“Then how did you…”

“Oh come on, I’ve seen you two together. I’ve seen him look at you. I remember you spending the night at our place, and I knew he was out there with you. He never sleeps with his bedroom door open. Not to mention the, ‘I’m coming back Gallagher, I promise’ when we were leaving home in April. Mickey hasn’t cried in front of me in years Ian. It was about more than just leaving Chicago”.

Ian stares at her, not sure whether to be embarrassed, shocked, upset, or worried. Maybe relieved?

Mandy misinterprets his silence for fear about their secret rather than shock about Mickey being home.

“I didn’t say anything. I wont. I don’t want either of you to get hurt. But you really fucked him up while we were in Memphis. He was fine until that day he went out and said you were in town for a few hours. He was so happy when he left. When he came home he was a fucking mess, for months”.

Ian’s heart feels like it’s in his throat as he chokes out his response.

“I hurt him. I didn’t mean to…but it was so hard being here without him…I’m, I had to go see a doctor, I was so bad... I think I broke his heart, Mandy”.

He’s never been able to say any of these things, to anyone before, and even just scratching the surface is terrifying.

Her expression softens, and she shakes her head at him before she walks away, “Ian, he’s a Milkovich, and he’s gay. He was born with a broken heart”.


	44. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian apologizes to Mickey, and explains why he did what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the last few chapters were hard, so I welcome the feedback and difference of opinions. I am on both their sides to be honest. I also want to note that Ian’s doing better is a direct result of steps he took to deal with his mental illness, so kudos to him :) It’s really hard when you’re feeling that low, and I hope I wrote him in a way to make it clear that he absolutely does love and care about Mickey, he never stopped. He just did what he had to, to get through it. But anyways we’ll see them deal with it, together. :)

Ian practically runs to the Milkovich house as soon as Mandy disappears from sight, trying to call Mickey the entire time.

He doesn’t pick up, each call goes directly to voicemail, and when Ian gets to the house, he hammers on the door, not giving a shit if Terry answers. But no one answers, and even the though the padlock is gone now, the house is dark and silent.

No one is home.

Ian sinks down on the front steps, rubbing his hands over his face in disbelief.

It had been close to four months, but it felt like a lifetime since he had last seen Mickey. He thought it would be years…three years, and now Mickey was back.

Just like that.

And Ian had given up, so easily, and so early on. He feels like a fucking asshole, and he’s terrified Mickey won’t forgive him. Won’t understand.

He’s not sure how long he sits there, too fucked up to move. But eventually he hears the loud growl of a motorbike coming down the street, and he watches as it slows front of the house, the rider revving the engine to get it up over the curb.

They are blasting loud music from their phone, adding to the noise.

Ian stares in disbelief as they kill the engine right in front of him. It’s the same fucking Enduro and rider he’d told to fuck off earlier today.

It couldn’t be though… Mickey didn’t have a motorcycle…

The driver hesitates as they lift their head upwards from the ground to look directly towards where he’s sitting, and Ian’s eyes flicker down from the black helmet, to the bare hands that are tightly gripping the brakes.

_FUCK U-UP_

“Oh my god” Ian whispers, standing up.

He must have dreamed about seeing Mickey again a hundred fucking times.

The tattooed hands reach up, and slowly pull off the helmet.

Ian’s eyes fill as he finally sees Mickey standing right in front of him, banishing all of the ghosts that had made him just a memory.

His beautiful jet-black hair, slightly matted down from the pressure of the helmet. His soft and familiar mouth, as he pants shallowly. His piercing and uncertain blue eyes, flickering back over Ian.

They both stare at each other for a long moment, until Mickey finally breaks the silence, yelling over the music.

“Mandy texted me, said I should go talk to you. You weren’t at the party, so I figured you’d be here”.

He kicks the stand on the bike and gets off, holding the helmet in his hands as he leans against it.

Ian nods, unable to find words at first. And then he looks around the open street, and considering Terry could come back any time, he yells back, “Can we go talk somewhere?”

Mickey turns off his music, and coughs lightly into the uneasy silence of the night, looking up at his house with an indiscernible expression.

Finally he answers with, “Yeah”.

Mickey kicks the stand away from the bike, climbing back onto it swiftly. He tosses the helmet back at Ian, who catches it uncertainly. He had assumed they would just walk somewhere.

“Get on”

Ian pulls the helmet down over his head, trying to get used to it’s unfamiliar tightness as he gets on the bike behind Mickey, wrapping his arms around his middle as Mickey starts the engine.

Mickey turns the radio app back on his phone and without looking back says somewhat seriously, “Hold on fuckin tight alright? If you need me to stop, do like… two quick squeezes”.

Ian nods into his shoulder, unable to answer with words.

It’s maybe a little cliché that this moment between them has a soundtrack, but as Ian listens to the Coldplay song that comes on right as Mickey pulls back onto the road, he wonders if Mickey chose this radio station on purpose.

 _For a second, I was in control_  
_I had it once, I lost it though_  
_And all along the fire below would rise_

 _And I wish you could have let me know_  
_What's really going on below_  
_I've lost you now, you let me go._

_But one last time_

_Tell me you love me, if you don't then lie, oh lie to me_

_Remember once upon a time, when I was yours and you were blind_  
_The fire would sparkle in your eyes and mine_

_So tell me you love me, if you don't then lie_

Of course, Mickey couldn’t have had control over the song playing on the radio. And Coldplay wasn’t really his type of music.

Ian doesn’t really believe in God... but he bites his lip and wonders if maybe he’s punishing him by making him feel even guiltier. This song _just happened_ to come on the radio as drives away with his ex, getting ready to explain why he gave up on them?

Seems like a little more than chance.

But it doesn't fucking matter, he reminds himself, and his heart thuds in his chest as he thinks about what Mickey must be feeling like right now.

Mickey doesn’t seem to even notice the song though. He seems completely focused on the road. Regardless, Ian feels a little more comfortable when the song ends, the next indie hit being a little more upbeat. A little less possibly directed at him, and he is more able to focus on what he is experiencing once it's over. 

Ian had never been on a motorcycle before, and he feels breathless as Mickey revs the engine again and they speed through the dark streets, everything whipping past them. Lights and signs and houses and streets, become one ongoing film reel. Chicago becomes a blur, and Ian doesn’t know where he’s going.

But he doesn’t care where he’s going, because he’s going there with Mickey.

And more than that, his arms are around Mickey again. He sinks into the feeling, allowing himself to enjoy it even if he’s not sure he deserves it, his heart beating wildly in his chest the entire time.

But it’s not panic now. It’s like…blooming. Like watering a flower that you thought was dead, just to realize it’s still got some fight in it. Like watching a sunrise come up after a long and dark night.

It’s the first time in months that Ian’s felt a little hope.

Mickey finally drives up to the South Side docks, which Ian recognizes, and rolls the bike more slowly down a small hill towards the water, eventually coming to a full stop right in front of it.

He gets off the bike, and drops the stand before he heads over to one of the covered boats, taking out a pack of hidden cigarettes.

“Was here earlier” he explains, casually putting one in his mouth as he takes his phone out of his pocket and turns off the music.

Ian stares at him as he sparks his lighter, and gently puts the helmet back on the bike after he removes it.

He almost feels like a statue, unsure of what to do next. Consumed with both guilt, and relief from just seeing him, even though Mickey won’t look him in the eyes.

“Want one?” Mickey asks, holding out a cigarette in his general direction. Ian takes it, but instead of lighting it, continues to drink in the sight of him. Something he had missed, so unbelievably much.

Mickey finally looks up at him after a while, and as the moonlight illuminates his face Ian realizes there’s a few paler streaks on his face from dried tears, the rushing wind from the ride having pulled them downwards as soon as they had formed. Maybe he _was_ listening to the song on the way here too.

Ian finally blurts out, his shoulders sinking slightly as he does, “I’m so fucking sorry. I was selfish as hell Mick, I’ve been fucked up. Really fucked up. I didn’t mean to hurt you”. 

Mickey scoffs, “You thought telling me that you didn’t even want to fucking talk to me while I was stuck in Memphis thinking I wasn’t gonna see you for the next three years, wouldn’t fucking hurt?”

“How much did Mandy tell you?” Ian asks hesitantly, wondering how to approach the subject of his decline. He had made a point not to tell Mickey before, not wanting to admit to this part of himself, not wanting to scare him away.

Mickey blows smoke out from the corner of his mouth. “Nothing. She just told me she saw you at a party and that you needed someone”.

Ian’s heart does a little flip. That was all it took for Mickey to come find him, maybe it wasn’t too late to fix things...

He has to dive right in to the truth, he owes Mickey that at least. He can’t leave Mickey thinking he doesn’t love him...whether the truth scares him away or not. 

Ian takes a deep breath, “They put me on medication after you left, and I have to take it every day. I was so… so lost, and sick. I didn’t know what to do, and I wasn’t myself. And I thought, well, you deserve better. Someone that’s not, like me”.

Mickey suddenly looks angry, and he starts ranting. “What the fuck are you talking about Ian? Medication for what? Are you okay? Why the fuck did nobody call me and tell me that you were sick?”

Ian shakes his head, trying to calm him down, “Not sick like physically sick, sometimes it makes me feel that way though... Sick like depression and anxiety, Mick. I’m okay…now”.

Mickey starts shaking his head too, now focused on a different part of the conversation as he raises a hand in confusion.

“What the fuck do you mean not like you?”

“Crazy” Ian spits out bitterly, tears welling in his eyes as they reach the part of the conversation he’d been dreading.

It was the fear always lingering in the back of his mind, ever since he’d been at that doctors office, being compared to Monica. Ever since he’d been given those pills. As close at they had gotten over the months, as much as he knew Mickey still loved him, why would he want to be with someone like that?

Why would anyone?

Mickey immediately drops his cigarette and walks over to him in two short strides, pulling him into the tightest hug Ian had in months, “C’mere”.

“ _Jesus Christ_ ” Mickey whispers to him as they stand like that, almost one. “You’re not fucking crazy Ian. Shoulda seen me these past few months”.

“I didn’t know what to do without you” Ian chokes out, “And I fucking hate myself for letting you go like that, because I’m in love with you. I never stopped being in love with you”.

Mickey suddenly stiffens and awkwardly pulls away from the hug, and when Ian looks at his face he sees there’s a wall up again.

“What?” he asks softly, searching his darkened face uncertainly.

Mickey’s words sound civil enough, but there’s the slightest hint of bitterness in them. “You don’t need to get into this again, it’s probably not good for you. You’ve moved on, I get it. I want you to be happy”.

Ian looks at him in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about? _You_ make me happy”.

Now it’s Mickey’s turn to look confused. “Bradley?” he asks, looking at Ian like maybe he is crazy after all.

Ian laughs, a weak and shaky laugh, but it’s a laugh.

“We go to ROTC together. That’s it. I can’t fucking stand that kid... _that’s_ why you drove away yesterday, isn’t it? You came up and saw me with him. And I didn’t even know it was you”.

Mickey rubs the back of his neck, now looking slightly embarrassed but also very obviously relieved. “I thought like, I’d surprise you or some shit that I was back. But then I saw you walking home with the only other fuckin gay kid I know and thought, well fuck, didn’t take that long for you to get over me. So I didn’t want to talk to you at first”.

Ian looks back at Mickey through solemn green eyes, “I don’t think I'll ever 'get over you'. I told you I’d wait, and I did... And I know I fucked up by letting you go, but can you… d’you think you could ever forgive me for-“

Mickey cuts him off with a wave of his hand, “Look, I forgave you the day it happened Ian. It was hard, and yeah I was fucking mad and upset, but I could also see how much you were hurting the entire visit. You think I didn’t notice that shit? I know you Ian. That’s why I agreed to fuck off so easily... I thought it would be best for you”.

Ian tries to comprehend what he’s saying, hesitant to get to the real question. “So… you don’t hate me”.

Mickey’s face finally splits into a grin, his response automatic at first, “I love…”

But he catches himself, and looks a little wary, before beating Ian to what he had really wanted to ask. 

“Well are we fucking getting back together?”

Ian nods his head quickly, “Yes! I mean, if you want to. Of course I want to, I just, you know, because I-“ Mickey cuts him off again, but this time his voice is soft, and loving.

“Jesus Gallagher, shut up and fucking kiss me”. 

Ian doesn’t need to be told twice, and him and Mickey both move forward at the same moment, past merging into present as Ian kisses him desperately, praying to God that this isn’t some sick dream he’ll wake up from in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to freak anyone out so I’m going to clarify here, no, this is not a dream. That would just be cruel to you guys at this point. It’s just so surreal to him that he’s comparing it to one :)  
> Also, I’m so over the top with the songs and shit but I’m a total romantic and it reminds me of their situation to a T.


	45. Reunited And It Feels So Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey make up for the months spent heartbroken and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makeup sex and feels <3
> 
> Double post today because I won't be able to post again until Monday~

Ian’s not sure how long they stay like that for, their lips tentatively exploring each other after so long apart, until they find their familiarity again, and the kisses deepen.

It feels like coming back home after being away for far too long, and Ian runs his hands over every inch of Mickey’s body that he can, reacquainting them with Mickey’s very real presence after dreaming about this for what seemed like forever.

He feels Mickey’s soft white skin beneath his fingertips, and the smooth bulge of his biceps as he lifts his arms to wrap his hand around the back of Ian’s head, pulling him closer. He feels Mickey’s narrow nose pressed against his own, and he feels the prickle of his short black hair as he reaches back to hold Mickey’s head too, cradling it, as he presses his tongue inside the other boy’s mouth.

He feels it all, and he hears it too. He hears Mickey’s labored breathing as he gets excited, and the sound his leather jacket makes as he moves against Ian’s body. He hears the water lapping up against the boats just a few feet in front of them, and he hears the faint wet sound of their lips coming together again and again.

And then there’s Mickey’s scent. Something Ian had missed just as much as the sight of him, and he buries himself into it, letting all of his senses reunite with their favorite things.

He’s breathless by the time Mickey finally pulls away from him, biting his lip as his blue eyes roam over him appreciatively.

“I don’t wanna say goodbye to you tonight” Mickey admits, looking at him softly.

“You don’t have to” Ian promises, “Fuck, we can sleep right here for all I care. I want to make things up to you, and I’ll do whatever it takes”.

He feels drunk just being around Mickey again, his senses are intoxicated by him and all he wants is more…

Mickey looks out over the dark water, the boats bobbing gently in place where they are tied up at the docks.

“Right here, huh?”

Ian looks at the ground around them, confused over Mickey’s hesitation. He never was one for creature comforts before.

“Yeah? It’s August, definitely warm enough”.

He realizes what Mickey is getting at as he turns back around to look at him, and sees his eyebrow twitching just slightly before he raises both of them and tips his head.

“Ohhh” Ian says, feeling the corners of his mouth of his mouth curve into a smile. He knows Mickey’s body language so well, that a simple movement of his eyebrows is enough for him to pick up on what Mickey’s thinking sometimes.

Mickey bites his lip, “So you wanna make it up to me?”

Ian lifts his eyebrow suggestively, feeling his cock stir in response to his tone, “Yeah I do Mick”.

“Fuck me hard enough to make up for four months of me having to make love to my fucking hand” Mickey jokes. But there’s no joke about the bulge Ian sees straining against his pants.

“Lucky hand” Ian whispers, pulling Mickey back to him and pressing his chest up against the other boy’s as he goes in to kiss him again.

Ian pulls away just enough to lower one hand down to stroke Mickey through his jeans, and to search his neck for a moment to find Mickey’s pulse point before he presses his mouth to it. He nips it lightly with his teeth, and then runs his tongue over it. 

“ _Jesus…_ ” Mickey groans, rolling his neck at the hot and wet sensation.

He shivers even in the August heat, and Ian turns him roughly around, pressing him up against one of the boats.

Ian reaches forward and undoes the button on Mickey’s jeans from behind, tugging his pants down a moment later. “Want me to eat your ass?” he asks hopefully, undoing his own belt with a snap.

Mickey seems torn as he shifts on the spot, “Yes. No. Later. Just fuckin get in me” he says impatiently.

Ian strokes himself and smiles, he missed Mickey being bossy with him. He presses up against him teasingly, kissing Mickey’s neck again from behind.

He’s just about to slowly push inside the other boy when he suddenly remembers, and he groans in disappointment.

Mickey glances over his shoulder, “What? Did you fuckin come already?”

Ian would laugh at the suggestion, but he’s so annoyed at himself that he doesn’t really feel like it.

“I don’t have any fucking condoms on me. Did you bring any?” he asks hopefully.

“No” Mickey says, still looking back at him.

There’s a moment of silence before Mickey says, “Ian… I trust you. We don’t really fucking need one. You trust me, right?”

Ian turns Mickey’s face around with his hand so he can look him in the eyes when he answers. “Of course I do. To be honest…I’ve wanted to do this for a really long fucking time. Just feel you against me, with nothing between us”.

It’s true. There were many nights, even before Mickey had left, that Ian had masturbated just to the thought of fucking him without a condom on. Coming deep inside Mickey, and seeing his own jizz come dripping out later. He shivers just thinking about it.

“Me too...wanna feel you inside me” Mickey admits, biting his lip as his eyes flicker back down to Ian’s hard on. Ian leaves one hand on his face to hold him there as he kisses him again, and uses the other hand to guide himself up against Mickey’s hole.

_Fuck._

He’s pretty fucking tight after a few months, but as soon as Ian manages to start sliding in he gasps.

It’s incredibly hot, with just skin against skin, and he feels every ribbed muscle and contraction of Mickey’s walls so much more intensely without a condom dulling any of the sensations.

He is so overwhelmed by the incredible sensation at first that his blood rushes to his ears, and he doesn’t even hear Mickey starting to make his trademark sounds of pleasure, one of which is releasing a slew of curse words.

As soon as Ian snaps back into the movement, and starts to thrust in and out of Mickey hard, the sounds he’s making make it even harder for Ian to keep it together.

It’s almost too much…

The perfectly tight and hot hole he’s fucking into, the sounds of Mickey’s moans, the feel of him against his lips, each moan vibrating deep into his open mouth…

The coming too soon thing is suddenly a very real possibility, and Ian stiffens, quickly reaching around desperately to grope for Mickey’s dick, not wanting to leave him hanging.

But as Mickey pushes back to allow him to, Ian’s insides tighten like strings and he sees white for a moment as an incredible heat travels through his entire body.

“Shit… _shit_!” he fails to stop the volcanic-like orgasm from rolling through him so hard, it almost knocks him on his ass.

 “Fuck, I’m sorry” he pants when its over, slightly annoyed at himself for coming too soon.  

“Don’t worry bout it” Mickey grins, turning around to look at him. He’s still stroking himself, and as Ian watches his chest jerk inwards unsteadily, he realizes he’s close to the edge of his own orgasm.

He quickly gets to his knees and knocks Mickey’s hand away, taking him into his mouth eagerly.

“Fuck yes” Mickey says appreciatively, reaching down to comb his tattooed fingers through Ian’s red hair, Ian closing his eyes in bliss at the familiar and comforting sensation.

As Ian continues to suck him off, he feels Mickey’s chest heaving as he gets close to blowing his load, and he can’t seem to shut up.

“Thought about you every single day. Every single day Ian. Fuck I missed you…I missed you so much…”

His voice gets unsteady, and Mickey comes without warning into Ian’s mouth. He swallows it all without a complaint.

To be honest, he had even missed the taste of Mickey.

He comes up smiling, but then he sees a pained look on Mickey’s face.

He realizes his chest isn’t just heaving because of his orgasm. “God…I’m so sorry” he whispers, pulling Mickey close again. He uses his thumb to brush away the hot tears that are trailing down Mickey’s handsome face.

“I’m fine…I’m fucking fine” Mickey argues, more to himself than Ian. “I just was thinking about what it was like those months, and…fuck. Look at me cryin like a fucking girl” Mickey laughs shakily, but Ian shakes his head, not willing to just brush it off as a fucking joke.

Even if it would be easier.  

“I don’t expect you to just to get over it Mickey. But I hope you know, it wasn’t because I didn’t fucking love you”.

“Yeah I know” Mickey admits, his voice very low, “But I’m back now, and I’ve gotta take care of you, so I need to get over it”.

Ian winces and pulls away just enough so he can look Mickey in the eyes. “You don’t have to take care of me. Just fucking be there. That’s all I need, that's all I want. Just like I’m gonna be there for you”.

Mickey smiles at him, looking much calmer now, “I’m your fuckin boyfriend Ian. I’m gonna do both those things, because I fucking want to. Not because I fucking have to”.

Neither of them says anything else, and Ian feels a rush of gratitude as they hold each other in silence for a while, before laying down on the grass together to give in to their mutual exhaustion.

Not just because Mickey’s by his side again either, back home where he belongs.

Ian’s grateful that for whatever reason, the universe decided to let Mickey Milkovich love him.


	46. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is warmly welcomed home by the Gallaghers and his dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the reunion fluff, it's good for my soul ;) If they had met under different circumstances in the show, I could see Mickey latching on like this, to the family he never really had.

Ian groans as he wakes up, his back feeling stiff from sleeping directly on the ground with nothing but green grass for cushioning. The discomfort is nothing though compared to the joy he feels when he opens his bleary eyes and sees Mickey beside him.

He sighs deeply with relief as he is reassured it all wasn’t just a dream.

Mickey really is beautiful he thinks, appreciating the way the gentle morning sun caresses his sleeping face. He looks so gentle when he’s asleep, like he’s completely at peace.

Ian remembers the very first time he saw Mickey sleeping, on the bus ride to the class trip at Oak Forest after Mickey told him to shut up. He smiles to himself at the memory of it as he looks out at the wooden docks and the Chicago Harbour, watching the same boats still float in place from last night.

He does try to be patient, and he feels like a bit of a dick for giving in and waking Mickey up, but he doesn’t want to wait to hear his voice again after missing it for so long. He grins as Mickey grumbles his complaints about being woken, until he opens his eyes and sees Ian hovering over him.

Mickey closes his eyes and his face immediately breaks into a contented smile, one that prompts Ian to lean down and plant an affectionate kiss on his lips.

“Good morning” Mickey mumbles happily, opening his eyes again to look up at him sleepily. Ian looks into the brilliant blues, “Yes it is”.

He gives Mickey one more kiss before he stands up to stretch and take a morning piss, but he feels a little dizzy when he does.

He presses his hand against to his face, closing his eyes, and it fades quickly. “You alright?” Mickey asks, leaning up against his elbows to blink at him while his eyes adjust to the morning sunshine.

Ian nods hesitantly, “Yeah…but I need to go home. I didn’t have my medication with me last night, so I missed a dose”.

Mickey immediately gets up and goes to his Enduro, pulling the helmet off to hand to him, but Ian just smiles, lowering it with his hand reassuringly.

“You don’t have to race and break any fuckin speed limits, okay? It’s not a big deal, and I gotta take a piss first anyways”.

Mickey looks at him for a moment, and then nods, “Alright. Piss and then we go”. He unzips his jeans and heads towards the river. “Swordfight?” Ian asks playfully.

“Fuck off” Mickey grins, even as he redirects his stream slightly to indulge him, both of them living in the moment where they are best friends just as much as they are lovers. Mickey finishes and zips up shortly after Ian does, “Alright. Let’s get you home Gallagher”.

He hands Ian the helmet again, who hesitates before he puts it on. “Shouldn’t you be wearing it Mick?” Mickey grins, “My entire fucking life I’ve been told I’m hard headed and thick skulled. Not gonna take the chance that you are too”.

Ian presses his lips together in concern, slightly annoyed by his boyfriend’s habit of always putting himself in second place. “Mickey that’s not exactly-“

His boyfriend cuts him off, waving his hand casually. “I know, I know. I’m fuckin joking. I’ll get another one. But for now, put that on your fuckin ginger head, or I’ll put it on for you”.

Ian can’t help but laugh as Mickey, true to his word, pushes the helmet down over his head, and as he gets on the bike behind Mickey and wraps his arms around him, squeezing him tight, he can’t stop. Mickey grins as he looks back over his shoulder at him, amused by his delight.

“We haven’t even started yet and you’re signalling me to stop? What’s up giggles?”

Ian just lifts his shoulders in happiness, lighter than he’s felt in months, and he lifts his helmet to tell him “I’m just happy Mick”. Mickey quickly licks his lips and leans back to give him a kiss.

“I am too. Hold on tight”.

As they ride back through Chicago, Ian can’t wipe the smile off his face, and even though no one can see it, it belongs there. He takes in everything rushing past them with accepting eyes as he’s hit again by the truth.

Mickey was so much more than just a boyfriend to him. He was his first love, and his best friend.

He was everything.

They pull up in front of the Gallagher house around twenty minutes later, and Mickey stalls the bike for a moment, looking up at the house with an indiscernible expression on his face as Ian gets off first. As soon as Mickey kills the engine he quietly tells him, “They missed you, know. All of them did. Fuck, Mo’s gonna lose his shit when he sees you”.

Mickey nods, getting off the bike slowly and kicking the stand before following Ian up to the house wordlessly. They go inside together, and it takes a moment before Fiona comes over to investigate who’s at the door. Her eyes widen like saucers as she realizes it’s Mickey standing there with her younger brother.

“You’re back!” she exclaims, looking at him in disbelief. Fiona then immediately pulls him into a hug, which Mickey clearly didn’t expect, because he freezes for a moment before tentatively putting his arms around and her, and then hugging her back tightly.

The rest of the Gallaghers start to appear by the front entrance to check out what all the commotion is about, and the house is filled with calls of “Mickey!” as they all pile into the hug, Ian joining in last.

Mickey looks a little overwhelmed at first, but then this look of peace comes over his face. “Where’s Liam? And Mo?” he asks happily, looking around himself for the missing individuals.

“Liam’s napping upstairs, I’ll bring him to see you when he wakes up. God he’s gonna be so happy Mickey. He never stopped talking about you” Fiona tells him, giving Ian a knowing smile.

Mickey looks back at him as if he’s looking for confirmation, and Ian nods.

“I honestly have about a hundred drawings stored away that he did for you” he tells him.

Mickey nods and sniffs, suddenly looking emotional, and Ian quickly tells Carl, “Go get Mo”. Carl runs to the back door and yanks it open, and the black and white dog comes padding into the kitchen a few moments later, wagging his tail at Carl in thanks for being let in.

It takes a moment for the dog to look towards the living room where all the other people are standing, and he freezes in place comically as he notices Mickey standing there.

It takes just a second before he comes bounding through the living room, knocking over a kitchen chair on the way, it clatters loudly to the floor. Mickey immediately crouches to greet him, laughing and petting him as the dog attacks him with exuberant licks, whining and making small barks the entire time. Mo is clearly beside himself, and Mickey has a similar expression of joy on his face.

He finally stands up after a long few minutes of reunion, and grins at the dog. “He got fat” Mickey says teasingly.

Ian scratches the back of his head, saying somewhat apologetically, “Yeah I may have been too generous with the treats”.

Mickey laughs, and his bright blue eyes roam over the house affectionately. “It’s so good to be home” he says, without thinking. He reddens slightly as he looks up at the rest of the Gallaghers, quickly clarifying with, “I meant like in Chicago”.

They just smile at him and laugh, no one thinking much of it, and finally Ian pushes past the rest of his family, remembering to take his makeup dose. “I gotta get something” he tells Mickey, expecting him to wait downstairs.

But as he reaches his bedroom and grabs the bottle of pills from his bedside table, he sees Mickey appear beside him, holding a glass of water. Ian’s phone begins to ring before he has a chance to say anything, so he quickly clears his throat and answers it, putting the pills down in meantime.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Gallagher?” The voice is loud enough for Mickey to hear as well, and Ian turns his head slightly in embarrassment as he recognizes the number.

“Um, yeah. It’s Ian” he mumbles.

“Hi Ian, it’s Mabel from Dr. Morrow’s office, I’m just calling to remind you of your appointment with us tomorrow at 11a.m. Dr. Morrow wants to do an evaluation of your current mental state and see if the medications are working for you, okay?”

Ian turns red with embarrassment as he picks up the bottle of pills in his hand, “Yeah... I’ll be there. Bye”.

He hangs up and after looking at the bottle for a moment, chucks it across the room angrily.

It hits the wall and then bounces to the floor with a loud rattle. Mickey goes over and picks it up without saying anything, coming to stand beside him as Ian says bitterly, “You deserve to be free. Not stuck with me, and my mental bullshit”.

Mickey hands him the bottle back, and crouches down in front of him, holding his face so he can’t look away.

“Ian… what you and I have makes me free, alright?”. He watches quietly as Ian resigns to tipping out a pill, and then offers him the glass of water he brought upstairs with him.

Ian takes it and swallows the pill, feeling awkward again after his little meltdown. He’s gotten used to his mood swings, and he’d always been temperamental, but somehow it was different for Mickey to see them. Embarrassing. 

But Mickey just glances over at the other bottle at his bedside before rubbing his back comfortingly.

“Ativan huh? That’s good shit”.

Ian rolls his eyes, feeling himself start to laugh. “Yeah, it is”. Somehow Mickey knew just how to break the awkward silence, and he glances over at him appreciatively, “Thanks for being so cool about this. Sometimes it just really gets to me that this is my fucking life now”.

 Mickey puts his arm around his slumped shoulders.

“It’s honestly not a big fucking deal to me, you’re still you Ian. And I’m proud of you for getting your shit together and getting help. My mom never did”.

Ian interest is caught by the mention of Mickey’s mom, he’d never really talked about her before. She was always sort of a non-entity. But hearing that Mickey is proud of him, also suddenly makes him want to reach out instead of pushing him away so much, as much as that’s his first instinct.

“I have…I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow” he says hesitantly, “Would you maybe… go with me instead of Fiona?”

“Sure”

He turns to look at Mickey’s eyes to see if there’s any hint of him being uncomfortable, but he sees only sincerity in the blue of them.

They end up back downstairs with the rest of the family after Carl comes up and starts harassing them, wanting Mickey to tell stories about being in Memphis, and Ian’s younger brother just about loses his goddamn mind when he sees the motorcycle, running over to look at it in amazement.

Carl drops onto the grass beside the Enduro, “Holy crap Mickey! Is it yours? Can I ride it? Wow…”

Mickey laughs, “It is, and fuck no you can’t. But tell you what, I’ll take you for a spin when I find a helmet that’s the right size”. Carl nods in slight disappointment, still running his fingers over the red marks on the bike in admiration.

A small voice suddenly catches their attention, “Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!”

The three of them look up towards the house at the sound, and Ian sees Liam in Fiona’s arms, struggling to be released as soon as he sees Mickey.

Ian’s heart does one of those beautiful flips as she lets Liam go and he comes running down the path, a ridiculously big smile on his little face.

Mickey crouches and meets him in a hug, a more subtle, but undeniable smile on his face too.

He was home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sometimes lines from the show just work in well here and there, so my favorites may appear from time to time :) "what you and I have makes me free" <3


	47. Realizations, And Bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey realizes something has to change when it hits him how much Ian's mental health has been affecting him since he was gone.

Ian is a little reluctant when Mickey says it’s time for him to head home that night. He says it’s just because of Terry, but even Mickey knows his dad is an idle threat right now, and nothing he hasn’t dealt with before. 

Mickey searches his eyes as they sit on the front porch together, picking up on his thoughts. He’d been putting off leaving for the past hour, seeing how worried Ian was.

“I’m coming back, alright? First thing in the morning” he promises.

Ian nods, but he still feels down. He can’t help but worry that he won’t see Mickey again for a very long time, and even though he knows it’s just the anxiety gnawing at his mind, it feels real. He’s not sure he could handle losing him again.

Mickey drapes his arm over Ian’s shoulder, pressing his forehead against the side of his face for a brief moment, “I’ll come pick you up before?”

“Might as well take the L” Ian answers dully, jingling the loose change in his pocket as Mickey gets up. “Okay, sure. Maybe we can go for breakfast after?” Mickey asks, kicking away the stand on his bike.

A promise for the morning is reassuring, and Ian finds himself nodding in agreement, “Sounds good to me”. His green eyes land on Mickey, standing there by his bike, and he tries to etch the image into his mind.

Mickey gives him one more smile before he pulls his dark helmet over his head, covering his face from view as he climbs on his Enduro. He pauses before he starts the bike, and then lifts his visor and hollers, “CARL!”

Ian turns to look behind himself as Carl comes out onto the porch a few moments later, looking confused until he sees Mickey on the bike.

Mickey turns on the engine as soon as he sees him and Carl yells, “Hell yeah! Give er Mick!”

Mickey winks and drops the visor down before he grabs the throttle and twists hard, the motorcycle roaring to life in response.

He twists it repeatedly, each successive roar louder than the last, as Carl laughs in delight.

And before Ian knows it, he’s speeding away down the street.

Mickey’s out of sight within seconds.

Ian blinks up at Carl to see him still looking down the street in awe.

“He’s soo cool” his younger brother finally says to him, too young to care about complimenting another boy in that way.

Ian finally grins, always glad to hear his family unknowingly complimenting his boyfriend. “Yeah. Yeah he is”.

When he gets ready for bed that night, sitting on his bed and pulling off his t-shirt, he sees his phone light up with a text from Mickey.

“ **Hey, forgot to tell you I love you today** ”

“... **I fucking love you** ”

Ian smiles at the double text, typing out “ **You showed me. Love you too. See you tomorrow :)** ”

He falls asleep easily but has some dream that he can’t quite remember in the morning, only knowing that it made him feel uneasy again. He quickly gets up and gets dressed, opting only for a short shower and then skipping any sort of breakfast before he heads to the front door.

Ian hesitates before he opens it, steeling himself.

Mickey might not show up…he might decide it was too much, that he didn’t want to sit in an office and hear about everything that was wrong with his boyfriend. Ian wouldn’t blame him if he did.

He feels a flood of relief once he does open the door, and sees Mickey standing out there, smoking a cigarette in the brutal August heat.

“Hot as balls” he complains as soon as he sees Ian, wiping some sweat away from his brow.

“Why aren’t you wearing shorts?” Ian asks as he comes down the steps, deciding not to let Mickey know relieved he is that he actually showed up.

Mickey’s eyes flicker over Ian’s own shorts, pausing at his legs before he answers.

“Don’t have any”.

Ian joins him on the sidewalk, and the two of them head towards the closest L station. “We’ll have to fix that” he thinks aloud.

“Oh, okay. We gonna go shopping like a couple of queers Gallagher?” Mickey asks sarcastically, a hint of a laugh in his tone.

“Yeah, or we can just rip your jeans up like you do with all your t-shirts, fuckin animal” Ian teases, tugging on his black homemade tank top in the place where his sleeve used to be.

Mickey smacks his hand away playfully, “C’mon Ian, everybody fuckin knows you love this animal”.

Ian smiles back a little sadly, “Not everybody”.

Mickey presses his lips together in a line and nods, his eyebrows raised at the truth of it as the playful mood shifts to a quieter one.  

They sit beside each other on the L on the way to the doctor’s office, Mickey knocking his knees against Ian’s until he feels himself smiling. Just like he did back at the campfire on their class trip.

That past Mickey had no idea what he was getting himself into, Ian thinks.

He stiffens once they get to the doctor’s office, again feeling like a medicalized stigma as he sees the posters in the waiting room advertising a new medication for chronic anxiety. He bounces his leg up and down nervously until Mickey notices and puts his hand on his knee, stopping it.

“You’re fine” he says, gently. Ian takes a deep breath and nods.

Usually it doesn’t bother him being here like this, but it’s suddenly very different with Mickey here. Here to see him acting like a freak…he grits his teeth at the thought of it. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea bringing Mickey here. But he knows his boyfriend, and there’s no way he’ll leave the office now.

By the time Ian’s sitting in front of his doctor, he’s hostile and jittery.

“Where’s your sister?” his doctor asks, looking at Mickey questioningly, who had chosen to lean against the closed door rather than sit down.

“She’s not here” Ian snaps, knowing he sounds rude but unable to control it. He wonders if Mickey is standing there by the door so he can leave faster. So he can separate himself from being with Ian in any way.

Mickey clears his throat, “I’m here for Ian instead today. That alright?”

She nods, “That’s fine as long as Ian doesn’t mind”.

Ian swallows hard, his leg starting to bounce again. “I wouldn’t have brought him in if I minded” he lies, still feeling uncomfortable with how far away Mickey is.

“Ian, you seem much more agitated this visit than you have been in previous ones. Would it maybe be better if your friend waited outside?” His doctor looks at him with concern, and it pisses him off as he blurts out, “ _He’s_ not the problem, I am. I’m the fucking burden”.

Mickey comes away from where he’d been leaning against the wall and sits down beside him, wrapping one arm around him comfortingly, which surprises Ian. 

Mickey completely ignores the doctor and addresses him as if she isn't even there, “You are _not_ a burden Ian. You are the best thing in my life. And I get that you don’t believe it right now, but I’m going to remind you every fucking day until you remember”.

There’s a long silence before the doctor speaks again, her eyes flickering between them thoughtfully. Ian doesn’t look up to watch her say it, but he can tell Mickey is.  

“Sometimes…living in secret, not allowing ourselves to be who we are, makes us feel trapped. It can make things worse” she says delicately. “Anyways Ian. I’d like you to stay on the dose you are currently on, and do contact me if it gets any worse, but first consider making some changes in your life that may reduce unnecessary stress”.

Ian notices that Mickey nods just slightly at her before they leave, like Mickey had caught something that Ian missed...

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Ian is silent and moody as they walk down the sidewalk towards the breakfast place, and Mickey is so deep in thought he lets him stay like that for a while.

Mickey knew when he sat beside Ian and said that shit in the doctor’s office that he was making it obvious that they were more than friends, or whatever the fuck she probably thought they were when he came in with Ian. But he meant it, and he fucking needed to say it, regardless if she was right there.

He’d be damned if he let a day go by not letting Ian know he loved him.

He feels some guilt gnawing at his stomach too, ruminating over what she said had said about said living in secret. Something about how Ian not allowing himself to be who he was might be making things worse for him. Really thinking about it, that was probably the most prominent stressor in his life.

Being in the closet was as much his decision as it was Mickey’s, but a big part of him keeping it that way was probably due to Mickey’s own dad being such a fucking homophobic psycho. He hated his dad especially for that.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be more open with Ian. He looks over at the redhead next to him and feels his heart swell with unbridled affection.

Even when Ian’s being a grumpy ass, like right now, there’s no one he’d rather be spending time with.

Mickey had known from the beginning that there would be problems when he came back from Memphis. He knew it wouldn’t be completely simple to just ease back in to things, even when the time apart was cut short.

But he hadn’t expected this to be honest. Ian was different than he was before. More on edge, less trusting.

Less sure of Mickey’s love, even though he was fine with showing his own. And that sort of hurt, his lack of confidence that he'll stick around.

He’s just gonna have to show him that he’s not gonna fuck off and leave him, and that he’s in this for the long run.

Mickey makes up his mind and before he has chance to change it, he sticks his hand out and awkwardly grabs Ian’s, who immediately turns to him in surprise.

“What-what are you doing?”

“Holding your hand, what’s it look like?” he answers firmly, giving it a squeeze. He fights the automatic urge to push Ian away just because people are around, because he’s been living that way for so long, giving nothing more than brief and imperceptible public displays of affection.  

“Mickey, we’re in public” Ian reminds him, looking like he feels the same way.

Mickey takes a deep breath, “I fuckin know that. Look where we are, nobody here even knows us, it's safe. But if you don’t want to hold it, then drop it. I won’t be mad”.

He waits nervously, but Ian doesn’t drop his hand. He sneaks a glance over as they continue walking and notices than Ian’s face isn’t as dark as it was a few moments earlier.

He seems more relaxed.

Good, okay. That’s good.

Mickey points at the sign for Cora’s, “Hey it’s that place we went to on Christmas Eve, remember? Let’s get you some pancakes _sunshine_ ”. He teases Ian to lighten his own nerves, dropping Ian’s hand to open the door.

But he had done it.

He had held Ian’s hand in public, where everyone could see. And people did see. Some did a double take at the unusual couple. But knowing they weren’t in any danger here… instead of being agitated and afraid, Mickey actually felt… proud, to be seen with Ian.

Ian grins and follows him inside, going right the same booth they had last time. He looks around the restaurant and seems very content, and Mickey drinks in the sight of him as he does.

Fuck he’d missed that boy. More than he ever would have thought was possible.

He knows it’s gonna take time for them to get back to normal, but he’s pretty sure he’ll never take being close to Ian for granted, ever again.

It was like a fucking nightmare, being stuck there in Memphis, wondering every day where Ian was…what he was doing…who he was maybe with, trying to get over him.  

Mickey had burned with jealousy whenever he had thought about it, and he had punched more than one hole into the walls of his foster families house when he lost it.He knew he’d been a raging asshole for the last couple months of his stay with them, and as much as they had tried to help, they just didn’t fucking understand that nothing they did could or would help.

Nothing could bring Ian back to him, if he didn’t want to be there.

But now, knowing what he knows, and seeing him this way... he just hates himself for not being here with Ian. 

For allowing him to fall apart.

He watches as Ian studies the menu, and feels a lump form in his throat. Even if he didn’t have a say in going away… he should have never gotten involved with his Dad’s shit. It was just a way for him to make money, and to be close to his dad in some fucked up way, the only way he knew how. And it was a mistake, because his dad would never fucking love Mickey no matter what he fucking did. He knew that now, as much as it hurt, and as much as he would never fucking admit to hurting over it.

Mickey never used to think about the future much. It was always black when he tried to picture it, empty. He could never see anything there, not since he got old enough to understand the reality of his situation.

But then he met Ian. And Mickey meant what he said, he was the best thing that had ever happened in Mickey’s shitty life. Now he can sort of see the future, his possibility of one.

But he had to have the balls to start getting him and Ian there.

The waitress comes over and smiles at both of them, looking surprised to see Mickey sitting there. He quickly brushes away his heavy thoughts and nods at her. She beams at Ian, who smiles back, blushing.

“Sunshine! Your friend is back!”

Ian starts to nod happily, and Mickey takes one last long look at the redhead before taking a deep breath and letting the words leave his lips.

“Actually, I’m his boyfriend”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ian's reaction coming up next ~


	48. My Brother Is A Homo Hallmark Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is shocked by Mickey's decision, but goes along with it when they go to see Mandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ian & Mickey were gonna thank you guys for hitting 69 subs ;) but we went up a little bit again :D
> 
> Also yes, the coming out to the family stretches over to the next chapter as well, which I'm working on :)

***Back to Ian’s POV***

Ian’s mouth drops open, and he sits there dumbly, letting Mickey order for both of them while he tries to absorb what just happened.

“Mickey!” he hisses as soon as the waitress disappears, “What the fuck!”

Mickey just looks at him, “What?”

He seems so unbelievably calm, that he must not have realized what he just fucking said, Ian realizes. Must have been a slipup.

“You told her you were my boyfriend” he informs Mickey, waiting for him to freak out.  

“Yeah, cause I am” Mickey answers, taking his iced coffee with a thanks from the waitress as she quickly appears again with their drinks, giving Mickey an extra smile.

Ian waits until she leaves, remembering their conversation from the last time they were here together.

“What happened to not screaming that we’re gay for each other?” he asks, his heart still pounding in his chest from Mickey's admission. He seems awfully pleased with himself, while Ian’s just sitting here, confused as hell.

Mickey takes a sip of his coffee and sighs in satisfaction, letting out a burp afterwards. “That was hardly a fuckin scream. I was just testing it out, seeing what it was like to finally say it out loud to someone other than you”.

Ian stares at him, trying to figure out what the fuck he’s playing at. “Why…?”

Mickey clears his throat, looking down at the table, “Cause I’ve been thinking…”

Mickey pauses, and when he finally looks up at him again and continues, he looks serious.

And a little nervous.

“Ian, I’ve been thinking… and I think we should tell your family about us”.

Ian tips his head, are those pills making him fucking hallucinate? Mickey would not suggest something like that. He would not.

Seeing he’s not going to respond, Mickey continues. “I know what you’re probably thinking. But I think we can trust your family to keep their mouths shut. They know what my dad’s fuckin like, they wouldn’t want either of us getting killed or some shit. We’d still have to act the same in our neighborhood and stuff, but at home you wouldn’t have to hide anymore”.

Ian finally finds his voice, although it comes out slightly raspy, “Why now? I don’t understand. We’ve been fine just doing what we’re doing”.

Mickey tips his head, “Not really though”.

Ian considers it.

He’s not really sure how his family would react. He knows they wouldn’t hate him, not like Mickey’s dad would…but how would they treat him after?

Especially Fiona, and Lip? But… it would be really nice to hide so much anymore. He could just be himself at home…and he could talk, really talk, when he needed to, about Mickey. Ian imagines what that would have been like while Mickey was away in Memphis, maybe he wouldn’t have fallen apart so much if he could have explained that he wasn't just missing his best friend, he was entirely heartbroken.

“I don’t know” he finally answers, entirely caught between the two possibilities.

Mickey looks at him gently, “Ian, it’s been our secret for so fuckin long, and your doctor was right, it’s not good for you living like this. It’s time someone else knows. And at some point your family is gonna wonder why you’ve never brought home a freakin girl. Stories like that night at the school dance won’t cut it forever”.

The waitress brings over their food at that moment, and both of them are momentarily distracted by it. Ian realizes he’s starving as he gets a whiff of the buttery pancakes, and while they are both silent he starts cutting them into pieces.

Mickey still seems to be mulling over what he’s already said, maybe thinking of another argument to convince him with, when Ian remembers.

He decides it’s a good a time as any to talk about it, since they are already on the topic.

“Mandy knows” he says through a mouthful of pancakes, watching Mickey closely.

Mickey shakes his dark head confidently as he dumps maple syrup generously onto his pancakes. He likes them sweet.

“Nah, she doesn’t”. He seems very sure. 

Ian’s surprised. She never did tell him.

A little annoyed that Mickey had caught him so off guard by coming out to the waitress without warning, he decides to be blunt about it. “Yes, she does. She _told_ me. Your sister knows that you’re gay, and that you’re in love with me”.

Mickey just about spits out his coffee across the table at him, choking on it for a moment before he finds his voice and starts to splutter.

“How did…fuck...she never…I didn’t!-”

He keeps going with his nonsense rant until he eventually trails off and frowns, looking annoyed and embarrassed.

“Maybe we should go talk to her first” Ian suggests, swirling his pancake in a little more syrup.

That’ll at least be somewhat of a distraction for him until he figures out what to do about Mickey’s new idea, telling Ian’s family, which he seems pretty fucking set on.

They go back to the Milkovich house instead of the Gallagher one once they finish their breakfasts, and after Mickey does a quick check around to make sure Terry’s not home, he comes back out to the porch and grabs Ian’s hand, quickly pulling him inside.

Ian follows him, raising his eyebrows, as Mickey bursts into Mandy’s room without knocking. He’s been agitated ever since they left the restaurant.

She glares at him from her bed as the door swings open, in the middle of painting her nails with a matte black polish.

“Jesus Mickey! Knock much asshole? Hi Ian”.

Ian waves at her awkwardly from the doorway.

“Talk much asshole? The fuck you telling Ian I’m gay for?” Mickey demands.

This was not exactly what Ian had expected, but then again, he probably should have. 

 “Aren’t you?” she counters, just as much a Milkovich, and just as unwilling to back down.

“None of your damn business” he sneers, leading them to lock each other in a death stare, with neither one willing to look away first.

Great, this is going just great. At this rate he won’t ever have to worry about Mickey telling his family. But this is ridiculous, because Mandy already knows.

“So much for telling people” he coughs, both Mickey and Mandy immediately turning away to look at him, Mickey’s eyebrow twitching in agitation.

He might have thought he was ready, but clearly that Milkovich line of defence was just as strong as ever.

Ian blushes slightly as they stare at him, “Just saying”.

Mickey finally groans, putting his hand to his forehead in defeat. Mandy looks absolutely delighted, “Mickey! Oh my God!” she squeals, putting her hand up over her mouth. It was one thing for her to know it, another thing for him to finally fucking admit it.

“Oh yeah let’s have a big my brother is a homo moment. Someone call Hallmark” Mickey says sarcastically, waving his hands with a very fake air of excitement.

Mandy runs over to her dresser, yanking out and then chucking a roll of rainbow colored ribbon at him.

Mickey catches it out of instinct, and her and Ian burst out laughing, even as Mickey rolls his eyes in annoyance, throwing it back at her.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Ian thinks, the people they care about knowing... His laughter softens, and quiets, even as Mandy continues to laugh and Mickey continues to flip her off.

Even when he’s cranky, there’s no one Ian would rather be with. He goes over to Mickey and hesitates for just a second before kissing him on the cheek.

Mickey blinks and then softens, turning to look at him as Mandy makes some feminine sound of excitement from her bed, her laughter completely disappearing.

But Mickey seems to have completely tuned her out.

“You feel better, don’t you...being free”.

Ian bites his lip and looks into his sincere blue eyes for just a moment, before admitting to himself and Mickey with a nod of his head that he does.

He doesn’t need the whole world to know. Fuck, he doesn’t want them to. But if his family could know that he’s with Mickey, that he’s in love with the greatest guy he’s ever met, his best friend…that would be…. really great.

“I think that settles it, huh?” Mickey asks, brushing away some of Ian’s hair from his face. He’d been sweating more than he had realized, not just from the brutal heat, but also from nerves and excitement. He turns to Mandy and blurts, “I’m in love with your brother”.

It feels so good to say it out loud.

She nods, a big smile spreading across her pretty face, “I know you are Ian. I’m sorry I gave you shit at the party when we got back. Come here”.

Mandy offers her arms out in a hug, which Ian accepts gratefully. He thinks back to the day she was quizzing him at the kitchen table, and he wonders if she really knew then, or if she was just guessing.

Either way, she knows now.

“This is…really good” he finally says, pulling away from the hug to look at Mickey, who is standing there looking somewhat annoyed still, but mostly relaxed.

Ian continues, “Now you have someone to talk to other than me about this stuff. Feelings, you know. Someone to bitch to when I’m being a dick”.

He laughs again, and Mickey finally joins in, “Yeah. Yeah, well I’ve got months to make up for don’t I? Mandy, this guy is annoying as shit. He’s perfect and it drives me fuckin nuts”.

Ian feels himself blush as Mandy gives him a knowing look, but his excitement dampens just slightly with nerves as Mickey turns to him, and slinging an arm around his shoulder says, “Alright! Your family’s next Gallagher”.

Shit.


	49. I'm In Love With Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After almost a year of being together and then pining after each other in secret, Ian and Mickey come out privately to Ian's family.

“Just breathe Ian, we got this. It isn’t a big deal. You know your family, they probably won’t even give a shit” Mickey reminds him as they reach the Gallagher house, and Ian abruptly stops on the sidewalk.

“Yeah well they might! And it might change things, do you really want that?” Ian asks, trying to stall him.

They had walked home from Mickey’s house as slowly as humanly possible, but he still felt they had gotten here too quickly.

Mickey raises his dark eyebrows at him, gripping his shoulder firmly as he speaks.

“Yes, I do. Ian this is for you, alright? Whether you fucking see that or not, this is gonna happen. You can’t keep hiding and fucking pretending to be something you’re not”.

Ian sighs, feeling his stomach complain nervously. “How the fuck am I supposed to do this?” he asks, looking up at his house reluctantly.

Mickey shrugs as he starts to walk up to the house again, “ _We_ do this. Together. Go in and tell Fiona we have something to tell them. I’ll be right beside you”.

Ian follows him right up to the door before he stops again, opening his mouth to argue, “This isn’t really fair you know. You didn’t actually have to tell Mandy, she already knew. And that was only one person, I have five”.

He never would have thought Mickey would be the one itching to come out, to have everyone know what they were. But from the moment he had opened his mouth to the waitress and told her he was Ian’s boyfriend, he seemed sure of it.

Done with pretending.

“Quit bitching” Mickey says, winking at him before opening the door and stepping into the familiar Gallagher commotion.

Debbie sees them first, turning around from her place on the couch at the sound of the door opening. “Hey Mickey, hey Ian”.

“Hey Debs” Ian answers nervously. Mickey leans over and whispers to him as she turns back around, “Like a fuckin band-aid. Get it over with fast. Don’t overthink it”.

Ian nods, he can do that, can’t he?

Right. Quick and painless.

“Um…Fiona?” he asks, approaching her in the kitchen while Mickey stands about a foot behind him, “Can we call like a quick family meeting? I want to tell you guys something”.

She looks at him, her brown eyes softening in confusion, but then she nods her head and calls in the direction of the stairs, “Gallagher family meeting! Living room!”

“Fuck” Ian mutters as he follows Mickey into the living room.

The rest of his siblings start to pile onto the couch in front of them, joining Debbie who had already been sitting there, and less than five minutes later everyone is waiting for him to start talking. But Ian doesn't start right away, as he tries to think of how best to say this. 

“What’s this about?” Lip asks, frowning at the two of them standing there like they are about to give some fucking elementary school presentation.

“I…just wanted…” Ian looks over his family’s expectant faces, and falters.

Fuck, no. _Nope._ Can’t do it.

“...I just wanted to know if Mickey can stay over tonight for a sleepover”.

Ian watches their faces turn into confused frowns, right as Mickey groans. He’d been standing a short distance away from Ian, slightly off to the side to give him the floor.

“You called a family meeting, for that?” Carl complains.

“I thought somebody died” Debbie says, looking around at them wide eyed.

Fiona just stares at him, an indiscernible expression on her face.

Mickey raises his voice above their confused din, “Alright, alright. That’s enough. Fuck, Ian just do it or I will. Jesus”. Ian looks back at him uncertainly, but then he sees Mickey giving him gentle and encouraging smile as he nods his head, telling him to go for it.

He takes a deep breath, trying to work up the courage give it another go before he feels himself going red in the face, and then he just blurts it out before he has a chance to make up another lame excuse for why they’re all sitting here. 

Like a band-aid, _quick and painless_...

“I wanted to tell you guys that…I’m gay”.

It’s dead silent in the room for a moment, and Ian feels himself going even redder before Mickey chimes in from behind him.

“I’m fuckin gay too, and I’m in love with your brother”.

Ian's eyes flicker over to his proud boyfriend and that’s when the noise starts up, with everyone trying to say something at once.

Mickey shushes everyone, “Everyone shut the fuck up. You wanna ask questions? You gotta do it one at a time. Look at your damn brother”.

Ian hadn’t even noticed he was starting to tremble a bit with nerves until then, and he clears his throat and tries to straighten up, telling himself he did it. He did it. He came out.

Carl raises his hand first.

“Yes?” Mickey asks when Ian doesn’t acknowledge him, sounding wary.

“So you guys like, have sex and stuff?”

Mickey stares at him, and then looks at the rest of the Gallaghers, “We really doin this? Yes. Next fucking question”.

Carl nods, “Cool”. Debbie elbows him, “You don’t even know what that means. I don’t have a question but I have a comment”. She looks at Ian but he finds himself unable to respond, so she directs her attention back to Mickey, who has accepted his role as interviewee after a few questioning glances at Ian, who appears to be tongue tied.

“Well what is it?” Mickey asks her, crossing his arms impatiently.

Debbie looks thoughtful. “Well I think it’s good you two are together. My teacher, Mrs. Ferguson, says you should fall in love with your best friend. Mickey, you’re Ian’s best friend”.

Mickey nods, a small smile forming on his face, “Your teacher’s a smart woman. Next”.

“Gay” Liam says, beaming at them, with no clue what he’s even talking about as he just repeats what he had heard both his older brother and Mickey say.

“Uh…yes” Mickey says slowly, unsure of how to address that. “Well I have a fucking comment too” Lip interjects.

“Go for it?” Mickey asks, lifting his hands in confusion at Lip’s accusing tone. Lip aims his stare directly at him as he says it, “Yeah okay. _Mickey_ , gay? Sorry, I don’t buy that. What is this actually about?”

Mickey just flips Lip off, not really giving a shit about what he thinks, but Debbie reaches back and slaps her brother on the knee, “You can’t just say someone’s not gay Lip”.

He shrugs, “Sorry Deb, I’m just sayin. I think this is a joke”. Mickey goes to roll up his sleeves, but then remembers he doesn’t have any, so he settles for pointing a finger at Lip warningly instead.

“I _am_ fuckin gay you asswipe”.

Lip looks around at his brothers and sisters, “Does no one else think this is a joke? It’s a _joke_! _Mickey Milkovich_  people, come on. There’s no way he’s gay. Good one guys”. He laughs as he looks around at the rest of them in disbelief.

Ian bites his lip, this is not going in the direction its supposed to he thinks, as he notices a couple of his siblings starting to look confused, like maybe this _is_ a joke.

Fiona doesn’t look like she thinks it’s a joke though.“Shut up Lip” she mutters, readjusting Liam on her lap.

Mickey breathes out through his nose, pressing his fingers to his temple as he stares at Ian’s older brother. “You know, for a genius, you’re pretty fuckin dumb sometimes, Phi _Lip_ ”.

“Whatever, then prove me wrong” Lip says, challengingly, still clearly thinking this whole thing is just a game. 

“Excuse me?” Mickey says, tipping his head to the side aggressively and resting his fingers on his chin like he doesn’t quite believe what he just heard.

“I said fuckin _prove it_. Kiss my brother, if you’re so in love with him”.

Lip looks so certain that Mickey won’t do it, with a big stupid grin on his face, and Mickey just stands there for a moment, his mouth opening and then closing as he tries to register what Lip just to him.

Ian looks over at his older brother nervously, wishing he could find his voice to tell him to shut the fuck up already, even though he knows his brother doesn’t mean any harm. He’s sure Lip isn't the only one in the neighborhood that would find it absurd that Mickey Milkovich was gay, just from knowing him and what he was like. 

Hell, even Ian had been in disbelief that day Mickey had grabbed him and kissed him at Oak Forest. But right as Ian opens his mouth to say something, Mickey comes over and slams his lips onto his, not giving a fuck about their audience of Gallaghers.

The kiss starts out hard, but both of them soften after a few seconds, and Ian’s heart is pounding in his chest as they slowly come apart, Mickey searching his eyes for reassurance that he did the right thing.

Ian rests his forehead against his for a second before he looks over at Lip, who’s now red with embarrassment. He looks genuinely surprised too. 

“Wow. I’m am…so sorry man. Jesus, I just thought you were yanking our chains. Fuck I’m an asshole. Sorry Ian…Mickey”. Mickey raises his eyebrows at him and then nods his head in mild annoyance, getting over the mild speed-bump in their confession once Ian starts to speak.

His other siblings had all seemed a little surprised too, but his eyes were on his older sister now. Now that it was clear to everyone that he _was_ gay, and this _was_ for real, her eyes were filled with tears. 

Just what he’d been scared of…he’d let her down.  “Fiona?” he says, feeling miserable.

Fiona puts Liam down Debbie’s lap, before coming up to Ian and pulling him into a tight hug.

“I am so proud of you” she whispers into his red hair, “I’ve been waiting so long for this day…I was starting to think it would never come”. Ian pulls away from the hug, feeling his own eyes start to fill with tears, “What do you mean waiting? You… knew? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Yeah, how the hell did you know?” Lip asks, everyone else in the living room nodding their heads in mutual confusion, except for Liam, who just looks happy. He waves his chubby arm at Mickey, who awkwardly waves back.

Fiona smiles at Ian, brushing back his red hair gently from his face. “I didn’t know for sure until Mickey started coming around more. But there were a lot of things. And I didn’t say anything because it was for you to decide when you wanted to tell me”.

“Things like what?” Mickey asks, curiosity getting the best of him even as he tries to appear offhand about the whole thing. Ian’s wondering the exact same fucking thing to be honest, he’d thought they’d been so careful.

Fiona smiles at Mickey, still holding her arm around her brother but now looking at the dark-haired Milkovich instead.

“Like the fact that Ian lights up whenever you’re around” she says, “Or how the happiest pictures I have of him are the ones that you’re in too. Or how my brother cried himself to sleep for months after you left, thinking everyone else was already asleep…and I’m not saying that to make you feel bad Mickey. We all missed you. But the way Ian missed you…that’s not how you miss a friend. That’s how you miss someone you’re in love with”.

Mickey nods slowly, his gaze drifting over to Ian. “I’m in love with him” Ian whispers as he looks back at him, the words reluctant at first to come out in front of so many people.

“I’m in love with my best friend… I’m in love with Mickey. I _missed him so much_ ”.

Fiona nods, her brown eyes filling with tears again, and he soon feels more warm bodies pressing up against him and Fiona as his siblings all join into the hug.

He hadn’t realized how hard it must have been for them to see him struggling so much, so low, while Mickey was gone. He hadn’t realized that he probably had scared them at times.

But now they understood.

As nervous as Ian had been to do this, to come out to his family, the second those words left his mouth, he felt…free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited coming out <3 took us 49 chapters to get here :)


	50. Human and Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey reminds the Gallaghers of the reality of his situation, him and Ian spend their first night openly together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So because I’ve already reached 50 chapters in this fic, some people have started wondering how long it will go on for. My answer: I honestly don’t know. I do have a timeline in mind with specific things I want to happen but there’s a lot in between too. If I had to guess, I’d say it could still double in length. I have a lot of ideas for this fic now even though it started as a one-shot. Thanks for sticking around :)

* **Mickey’s P.O.V** *

Jesus.

Ask Mickey a year ago if he would ever blurt out that he was gay, let alone in love, to a room full of people, and he would have told you that were you were fucking crazy.

In fact, he’d probably punch you just for suggesting it, and then redouble his efforts to appear so threatening, that no one would ever suggest it again.

But now here he was, helping to set the table at the Gallagher home as they all prepared for dinner, and all of them now knew his secret.

That he was gay, and he was in love with Ian.

Was that even enough to describe it, though? Being in love with him?

Mickey’s not sure.

As he looks over at the redhead sitting down across from him at the table, his heart does a familiar flip. One that used to terrify him, but now reminds him of what it means to be human, and in love.

Vulnerable. Something he had to learn to accept when it came to loving Ian.

And it wasn't easy for Mickey. No matter how hard he tried to only show Ian his brave front, it scared him shitless sometimes how hard he'd fallen for the him. How easy it was for Ian to sink into his all his fucking thoughts, and his lonely heart, from day one.

Like he was what was missing in Mickey's shitty life all along. Ian came along and gave life meaning, made Mickey want to be a person that could show love.

That could be loved back. 

And Mickey didn't even have anything to compare being in love to. The only other type of love at all he ever really had in his life was what he got from his sister, Mandy.

And then a more heavily watered down version of that from his half brothers who, growing up in different homes, never even connected all that much with him.

Mickey just knows, that from the moment he really spent time with Ian that day back in September, almost a year ago now, Ian made him not only to want to live his life again, but to enjoy it. To treasure every second of it he had with him.

He'd come to love not only Ian, but his family too, and he knows that he doesn’t want to lose him, ever again. Doesn’t want to put him in danger ever again.

He’d die before he’d fucking let that happen. Mickey clears his throat, a little reluctant to bring up what he knows he has to.

The fact remains that they still live in the South Side, and Terry still exists. The important part had been done anyways, with Ian’s family and Mickey’s sister now knowing about them, and that had to be enough for now.

Mickey’s tone is firm, not allowing any room for argument as he addresses the rest of the Gallaghers.

“So, if it’s not fucking clear already, you guys can’t go around telling people about us. Any of you, to anyone. This stays in the family alright? It’s for Ian’s own safety”.

Ian shoots him a reprimanding look, and Mickey sighs, adding, “Okay, Ian. And mine. You all remember what my dad is fucking like. He will come for me, and _he will_ come for Ian, if he ever finds out. And he won’t stop this time either”.

A sad and tense silence falls over the table as they all remember the horrible night Terry came barging into their home to grab Mickey and take him away over his botched drug deal, beating him in the process.

There’s no doubt in Mickey's mind that his dad would murder him if word went around town that his son was a faggot.

It would destroy his business and it would destroy the little faith he had in his son, based on the idea he held of Mickey being a tough criminal, and nothing more.

His bigger fucking concern anyways is that his dad would hurt or maybe even kill Ian too. Again, he’d die before he let that fucking happen.

Just the thought of someone hurting Ian makes him want to drive his head into a wall.

The Gallaghers slowly nod, and then Mickey nods too, satisfied that they all understand the gravity of the situation.

The table is still quiet though, and Mickey feels shitty about bringing the mood down until Ian speaks again, trying to alleviate the awkward tension.

And it is awkward, explaining to your boyfriend's entire family that because you like to fuck the guy sitting across the table from you, that because you love him, your dad wants to kill him _and_ you.

Not pleasant stuff.

“So… Fiona, I still can’t believe you knew all this time. Crazy, you never acted like you knew” Ian says, twirling pasta around on his fork as he smiles at his sister, hopeful that this will get everyone on a new, more pleasant train of thought. 

Fiona hesitates to respond at first, “Well…maybe it wasn’t all sisterly wisdom. I may have seen some things”.

That sure as hell gets everyone on a new train of thought.

Mickey immediately reddens as a few utensils around the table are dropped, his mouth opening slightly as his eyes flash towards Ian, who quickly asks, “What do you mean you _saw things_?”

Out or not, Micky burns with embarrassment at the thought of being caught getting fucked up the ass. Liking what he likes doesn’t make him a bitch, but it doesn’t make him a fucking show off either.

Lip groans in disgust, interrupting his thoughts. “Jesus, have they been fucking in my room?”

“Yeah, on your bed you twat” Mickey snaps, both embarrassment and worry going out the fucking window.

It was a downright lie of course, but that didn’t halt his satisfaction at Lip’s annoyed look in response.

Fiona laughs, “No…I found pictures under Ian’s mattress when I was changing the sheets… Not pictures like _that_ Lip! Pictures of them together, a lot of them. Also, whenever Mickey stays over and sleeps on the floor beside Ian’s bed, they…they fall asleep holding hands”.

That’s not so bad, Mickey thinks. He can live with her seeing that. Although, he’s a little caught of guard by the discovery that Ian keeps pictures of him right under his mattress.

Maybe because he does the same thing.

“Oh my God!” Debbie squeaks, “That’s so cute!”

“Pretty fuckin cute” Lip admits, Mickey glaring at him for referring to him as doing something cute.

Lip might be Ian’s big brother and all, but he’s the same age as Mickey and there’s some sort of weird alpha male thing that sometimes springs up between them.

He can't help it, it's a Milkovich thing.

Carl speaks up, “Sometimes Ian moans when he’s sleeping and he says Mickey’s name”.

Ian’s eyes immediately widen as he rounds on his little brother, “Carl! Shut the _fuck up_!” His face is red with embarrassment, but Mickey is actually a little pleased to hear that.

Hearing Ian found him attractive, sexy, even when he wasn’t around, was reassuring. Carl doesn’t understand why his older brother is upset anyways.

“What? I didn’t know what it means. Does it mean you’re gay?” he asks his brother, looking between Mickey and Ian in confusion. Lip answers, a slight smirk on his face.

“Yeah Carl, generally speaking, moaning and jerking yourself over another dude means you’re gay”.

Ian groans, unable to even eat his dinner anymore. “You happy now?” he grumbles, shooting Mickey a dirty look, “We’re gonna have to put up with this non-stop”. Mickey shrugs, and then laughs, “They’ll get bored with it eventually”.

Ian raises his eyebrow at him, “Yeah, well somehow, I don’t think you’ll find it as fucking funny while Mandy’s harassing you at home”.

Mickey shuts up. He has a point.

Fiona looks between them in surprise at the mention of Mickey's sister, “I thought-“

“Mandy figured it out too, a long time ago apparently. She knows better than anyone not to say anything. She’s…happy” Ian tells her.

“Can we have a party?” Debbie suddenly asks, looking up at her older brother hopefully, “My friend Sara had a party for her big sister when she told them she was gay”.

Mickey tries not to show how much he hates that idea while Ian tries to let her down gently, “Erm…no Debs. It’s not a big deal okay, we just were tired of pretending we were just friends, that’s all”.

Mickey snorts, tipping his head at Debbie, “You and my sister would get along great”. He can just imagine the fucking rainbow cupcakes.

And knowing Mandy, there’d probably be penis shaped straws for their drinks too, or something else just as fucked.

He smirks to himself at the thought of it.

The night goes on, and eventually the Gallaghers, other than Ian, all sort of look around awkwardly as they start to clear up to house to get ready for bed, and Mickey’s not sure what to do with himself.

Was he supposed to go home? Were things different now that they were a couple?

Ian finally looks at his older sister, addressing the awkwardness. “Mickey can still sleepover, right? You’re not gonna tell me he can’t sleep here now, are you?” he asks warningly.

She raises her eyebrow at his tone, “Well no Ian…but that was also before”.

“You already knew we were together!” he exclaims, looking around to see if anyone else finds this ridiculous. Mickey chews the inside of his cheek as Ian reaches him, casually averting his eyes.

It would really fucking suck if he couldn’t stay here anymore. The Gallagher house was like an oasis for him in their shithole of a neighborhood, an escape from Terry and the dark and dirty Milkovich house.

Not because it was a fantastic house itself or anything, but because... it was warm, and inviting or some shit. He felt like he belonged here. 

Fiona just smiles, blushing in amusement at Ian’s little freak-out. “Calm down. I didn’t say he couldn’t stay here! Just, if you’re going to share a bed-“

“No fucking” Lip interrupts, finishing the sentence for Fiona in a more blunt way, “I’m not listening to you two bang all night”.

Ian rolls his eyes and Mickey grins, thinking he would too, just to spite him. But there’s also gonna be Carl and Liam in the room, and tonight’s not about fucking anyways.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna shower, and then I’m going to bed. With Mickey” Ian says pointedly, heading upstairs, his brothers soon following. Mickey starts to follow them up too, last in line, but Fiona grabs his arm gently and stops him, leading him back into the kitchen.

He looks at her nervously, wondering if she’s going to ask him to leave. Cause what the fuck could he say to that?

Instead, she just looks at him for a long moment before letting go of his arm. “Thank you” she says quietly. Mickey swallows hard, looking back into her brown eyes for a moment.

“I really do love him” he tells her.

“I know” she says softly. Fiona smiles, but he sees tears in her eyes, and he’s not sure what to fucking do. Should he comfort her? For what? But she answers his unspoken question for him.

“There were days I thought I was going to lose my little brother while you were gone. He was… so different, Mickey. He never smiled. He barely ate. He cried every-“

Her voice breaks, and Mickey feels tears in his own eyes as he pictures it, his throat getting thick with emotion.

She finds her voice again, “Every night. And I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help him. But now…it's just so much better. Thank you for loving him, for letting him know he could trust us with this”. Fiona nods her head, getting more confident as Mickey nods back, unable to respond with words.

It scares him shitless just thinking about what she’s inferring. That Ian could have been gone when he came back home. "Please don’t go away again” she finally says, laughing gently as she wipes away the tears from her eyes, giving him a big smile.

Fuck it. Mickey finally goes for it and just gives her a hug, realizing him and Fiona maybe aren’t so different after all.

Like him, she carried the weight of the world on her shoulder sometimes. He makes a mental note to start helping out more when he's around, and he pauses before he heads up the stairs, knowing Ian will be waiting for him now.

“I'm not going anywhere” he assures her, glancing back just to make sure she heard.

From the smile on her face, she did.

~

Ian is already laying down on his bed, and he watches Mickey through loving eyes as he heads into the boy’s bedroom, his dark hair still slightly damp after his quick shower. He can tell Carl and Lip are both sneakily watching them, even though they both pretend to be busy with something else, Carl with his Gameboy and Lip with his phone.

Ignoring them, Mickey tilts his head slightly, looking down at Ian thoughtfully as he reaches the edge of his bed. It’s the first time he will have spent the night without having to make a bed for himself on the floor.

For some reason though, he still feels like needs permission. Needs to be told it’s okay, and that he’s wanted there.  

And Ian, after wanting to for so long, wordlessly invites Mickey into his bed, moving over onto his side to make room for him. Mickey slowly eases onto the bed, shifting and then laying down on his back beside him.

He puts one arm behind his head, and then looks over at Ian, who is laying on his side.

They look into each other eyes for a long moment before Ian lifts his own arm and puts it over Mickey’s chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath it.  A few seconds later Mickey curls his other arm around Ian’s back to hold him even closer.

The room is peacefully quiet, and all eyes are shamelessly on them now, as even Fiona comes in to switch off the bedroom light for them.

But Ian and Mickey don’t notice the lack of sound or light, and even in the dark they continue to look at each other for a very long time, until Ian finally lowers his head to rest it in the crook of Mickey’s arm, and closes his eyes, both of them exhausted after the emotional roller-coaster of the day.

To them as they drift off to sleep, there’s no one else in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Does anyone mind that I show Mickey’s P.O.V at times? It helps me write sometimes to show both angles, and this story will remain almost entirely Ian’s P.O.V anyways.  
> P.S. This chapter made me tear up at times


	51. Brother Of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian starts having more serious thoughts about the future. Fiona plans a day trip. Lip and Ian have a heart to heart talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday! A chapter before I head to work :)  
> P.S. Did anyone else see the rumors about Noel getting married 'very soon'? :o 
> 
> Chapter warnings? Domestic af Mickey/Ian

***Back to Ian’s P.O.V***

Ian shifts slowly as he comes to in the morning, feeling a warm and solid presence beneath the side of his face.

He breaths in deeply before he opens his eyes, Mickey’s comforting scent against his nose being a pleasant surprise.

When he opens his eyes a few seconds later, he feels his heart race and he immediately pulls away from his boyfriend, realizing he’s in a bedroom filled with his brothers. He remembers yesterday right as Mickey wakes up from the loss of his weight, blinking and rubbing his eyes as he asks sleepily, “What’s wrong?”

Ian relaxes, letting out his breath slowly as he sinks back onto the bed, “Nothing”.

Mickey opens his eyes and looks at him for a moment, catching on to the reason for his initial panic even in his sleepy state. “We’re good Ian. C’mere”.

Ian moves back onto him and Mickey presses his lips against him, giving him a warm and comforting kiss. Ian deepens it, lowering his hand underneath the light bedsheet covering them to reach for his boyfriend’s morning wood.

His boyfriend doesn’t protest right away while Ian rubs his cupped hand against it, but after a while he shakes his head, “Not gonna be able to go back to sleep if you keep fucking doing that”.

Ian takes his hand away, glancing over at his brothers to see if he can get away with at least going down on him before they wake up, but then he notices Liam is awake now too.

He blushes as Liam stares at them, even though the toddler doesn’t know what’s going on.

Mickey looks over at him too, Liam giving him an excited smile and banging his hand on the guardrail of his bed.

“How about you get Liam going and meet me downstairs after? I gotta take a piss first” he tells him. Ian nods and removes his arm from Mickey’s chest so Mickey can get up and go to the bathroom. He puts his finger to his lips to remind Liam to be quiet, not that it’s necessary, Liam rarely talks, as he pulls Liam out of his little bed and over the guard rail. He dresses his little brother in some light summer clothes and then heads downstairs with Liam, balancing him on his hip.

Ian goes over to fridge and starts to pull out some things to make breakfast. A frying pan, some eggs. Where the hell is the bread, he wonders, frowning as he searches through the cupboards for it.

Mickey wanders downstairs just as he finds it, still dressed in his boxers and his loose muscle shirt.

He grins as he comes over and leans in to give Ian a quick kiss as he breaks the eggs into the frying pan, Liam reaching over to grab his ear as he does.

Mickey touches the spot where the little hand was on his ear and laughs, taking Liam from Ian’s arms so he can manoeuvre around the kitchen more easily. He takes Liam over to the kitchen table and puts him in his chair, Liam smacking his arm gently.

Ian looks over at the two of them and a realization slowly dawns on him, as he stands there with the spatula in his hand, forgetting about the eggs.

Maybe it was the domestic morning, maybe it was because his family finally knew about them, or maybe it was because Mickey had finally slept in his bed with him. Whatever it was, Ian's mind is no longer denying what he's probably known for a while. 

This is what he wants.

This. Mornings with Mickey, after nights with Mickey.

And Liam might be his little brother, but watching the toddler interact with his boyfriend makes a strange thought form in his head.

Would he… ever get to be a dad? Would Mickey? Did he even want that?

Would _they_ ever have mornings like this down the road, with their own kids?

Even though Ian used to think of himself as having kids one day, he’d sort of brushed it away as an impossibility as he got older and realized there was no way he could live a straight life.

He watches as Mickey nods to a hungry Liam, assuring him he’ll have breakfast soon.

But it wasn’t impossible. Even if he got to live his life the way he wanted to, with a man as his partner. With Mickey. There were ways. And now that him and Mickey were out to his family, it suddenly felt more plausible. 

Ian’s never thought this far and this seriously into a future with Mickey before. His heart beats a little faster a little with the intensity of his thoughts, and the implications of them. Things were different since Mickey got back from Memphis though... more serious since he’d realized what life was like without him. 

Mickey suddenly pulls him from his thoughts, now standing right in front of him and waving a hand in front of his face. “Ian? Ian! You’re gonna burn the eggs. Here gimme that”.

He takes the spatula from Ian’s dangling hand, and edges in front of him so he is standing in front of the stove instead, scraping the eggs to salvage them and rearranging them in the pan.

Watching his boyfriend as he focuses on making their breakfast, Ian leans just slightly behind his shorter boyfriend, and rests his chin on Mickey’s shoulder in contentment. He decides to keep his thoughts to himself for now, letting them dissipate as he focuses on the present, a good place to be.

Neither of them say anything, and just stand there like that for a while as Mickey cooks, Liam happily playing at the table with a book Mickey had handed him to keep him entertained before he came over to help.

They don’t notice the rest of the family starting to trickle into the kitchen at first, until Carl scrapes his chair loudly away from the table, pulling them from their quiet moment.

“Hey”, Ian says, looking over at his younger brother. “Are you making eggs? Can I have some?” Carl asks, peering over at Mickey at the stove as Debbie heads downstairs too.

Mickey points at him with the spatula, “Get your little brother some milk and you can”. Ian was expecting Carl to argue, but he just does it, coming back over to the stove when he’s done.

“Plates” Mickey says without looking at him, tapping the spatula against the pan as he finishes up. Carl gets a stack of plates and Debbie gets utensils without being asked. She’s helpful like that.

They all move around the kitchen, filling plates and setting up places at the table, Ian pouring coffees as Lip and Fiona finally wander downstairs last.

Fiona smiles softly at the sight of them, something Ian doesn’t miss.

He looks over at his boyfriend, who’s offering Liam a bite of eggs, and smiles back at her. Fiona nods her head, not saying anything. Not needing to. She joins them at the table at then looks around at all of them as she takes her first sip of coffee.

“So, I was thinking. It’s a beautiful day, and it’s supposed to be super hot, so how about we all go to the beach? Long beach”.

Ian looks at her in surprise, wondering why she chose a beach over an hour away in Indiana instead of any of Chicago’s as the rest of his siblings excitedly agree.

Fiona clears her throat, noticing his look. “It would be nice to do a family outing. And then you guys can, you know, not worry about anyone we know being there”.

Mickey looks up from his plate, his eyes shifting from her over to Ian, who asks, “You want to Mick?”

He’s touched his sister suggested it, including Mickey as part of the family.

Mickey shrugs, a little smile on his face. “Do you?” Ian feels himself nodding, “Yeah…yeah that would be fun. Thanks Fiona. We gonna rent a van?”

It’s gonna be a Gallagher family road trip, and there’s no way they’d get all the way there on a bus without getting kicked off.

Fiona smiles, “I already asked Kev to drop one off for us in an hour”.

“An hour?” Mickey says, “Shit, I better run home and get my trunks and stuff. Be back soon”. He gets up from the table and stops to kiss Ian awkwardly on the hairline before he goes upstairs to get dressed.

The family continues to eat quietly until he comes back down and leaves, and then Fiona puts her hand over her mouth to cover her smile. Ian looks from her to Debbie, noticing her smiling too as she swings her legs against her chair.

“What?” he asks.

“It’s just…funny seeing Mickey like that. Maybe funny isn’t the right word” Fiona admits, shrugging apologetically as Debbie nods her head in agreement.

“He’s like that all the time” Ian informs them, grinning as he finishes his breakfast and heads to the kitchen sink. Lip stops beside him while he’s rinsing off his plate, leaning around to get his attention.

“Smoke in five? Wanna talk to you” he says, raising his eyebrow pointedly.

“Ten” Ian answers, wanting to jump in the shower and get dressed first.

He wonders what Lip is on about as he joins him on the front porch closer to fifteen minutes later, popping a cigarette in his mouth as Lip is close to finishing his first one.

He looks pensive, and a little agitated, as he taps some ash into the grass beside the steps.

“What’s up?” Ian asks.

Lip glances over at him and then looks down at his feet, “Why…why didn’t you tell me man?”

Ian looks at his older brother in surprise, he hadn’t been expecting that.

At all.

“A lot of reasons” he finally answers, lamely. Lip shoots him a look, “Yeah? A lot of reasons why you lied to me so many times too?”

Ian suddenly feels uncomfortable, as he’s put on the spot. “I didn’t really lie…just left things out. It wasn’t easy for me Lip, I wanted to tell you guys a lot of times”. It was true, especially in the beginning when he was first falling for Mickey, all he wanted to do was tell someone about him. 

Lip takes a long and heavy pull from his cigarette, “We grew up together Ian. I thought I knew you, everything about you. And it turns out I don’t know you at all”.

The look on his face hurts Ian deeply, as he realizes his brother is hurting too. This was the last thing he had expected to arise from his coming out.

He says a little shakily, “I’m still me Lip. Still your brother. I’m just…gay”.

Lip lets out a deep sigh, finally saying with a little smile, “So all those times…when you came home practically in tears because you almost slept with someone other than the _girl_ you thought you were falling for, when you were bugging me about what to do for a _girl_ on valentine’s day, when you told me you were hooking up with a _girl_ after the dance…”

“All Mickey” Ian confirms, scratching his neck awkwardly as he realizes how many times he had avoided telling Lip the truth. He lets out an uneasy laugh.

Lip butts out his cigarette, looking serious again. “Okay. I just…wish you had trusted me I guess. I don’t know what I did to make you think you couldn’t. I love you Ian, and I don’t care if you’re gay. I just want you to be happy”.

Ian feels a lump in his throat as he pulls his older brother into a hug, “It wasn’t about you, I promise. I love you too. Honestly it was more about Mickey’s dad over time, and our neighborhood. It was just safer that way, you know what I mean? And Lip, he makes me…really happy”.

He feels Lip nod into his shoulder, and as he pulls away, he’s relieved to see his older brother looking at him just like he used to, but with a little something else in his smile too.

Happiness for his little brother.


	52. Sun and Boyfriend Kissed Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day at the beach for Ian and Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting back to the explicit ratings the next chapter or so. 
> 
> Also (completely unrelated to that) some father's day themes for Ian/Mick...perhaps thinking about the future? :o

 “Move your butt” Mickey says, shoving the heel of his palm against Carl so he’ll move to the window seat, “I wanna sit beside your brother”.

Carl grins and scooches over, Mickey climbing into the van once he does.

Ian stands behind him, waiting to get in next, and he bites his lip as he tries not to appreciate the ass in front of his face _too_ much.

Although it _is_ pretty damn perfect.

Debbie had called shotgun and was sitting up front with Fiona, who was driving, and Liam and Lip had the first row of seats. That left Ian, Carl, Mo, and Mickey to share the back row.

Fiona looks back as she starts the van, “Alright, everybody in? Carl, no throwing the beach ball while I’m driving. I’m serious! Mickey, please keep an eye on him”.

Mickey smacks the plastic beach ball away from Carl and into the open trunk space behind them, Carl sticking out his tongue at him in response.

Even though the van is big enough for all of them to spread out a bit, the AC is apparently broken, and the ride to Indiana is brutally hot, even with the windows rolled down.

They all quickly drain the water bottles that were supposed to last them the entire day, and about halfway to the beach Fiona pulls up in front of a grocery store so they can get another case.

“If you guys come in and help me, we can get popsicles for the cooler”.

An enticing offer in the August heat.

Ian starts to follow his siblings out of the van, but he feels a sweaty hand touch his and he looks back to see Mickey gazing at him intently.

His hair is slightly slicked back with perspiration, and his cheeks are flushed from the humid heat in the van, and something about seeing him like that is hot as hell. He opens the door beside him “Go for a pee Mo”.

Mickey’s dog leaps eagerly out of the van at his command and runs over to the small patch of trees just in front of them, content to sniff around for a bit in the fresh air.

Ian slams the van door shut as his siblings all head into the grocery store without them, and immediately turns to Mickey, giving him an open-mouthed kiss.

Mickey moves forward against his lean body, running one hand up underneath Ian’s loose tank top that he had chosen specifically for the beach, dressed similarly to his boyfriend. 

There are some small beads of sweat running down his chest and through Mickey’s fingers as they make out for a few minutes, but Mickey doesn’t give a fuck and neither does he.

If anything, it turns them on more.

Ian glances down at Mickey’s swim shorts and groans, noticing his enticing hard on.

He glances back at the store desperately, but he sees Fiona already heading for the door, carrying Liam while Lip carries the case of water bottles, and Debbie and Carl carry the cooler.

“Fuck” he says in annoyance, rearranging himself and pulling off of Mickey to sit back in his own place.

Carl shows up at Ian’s door, expecting to crawl over both of them and Ian snaps in frustration, “Go around to the other side dope”.

Mickey sucks on his teeth awkwardly as everyone else gets back in the van, Mo jumping in last, his wagging tail providing a pleasant moment of fanning for them.

“Why didn’t you come in with us?” Fiona says, turning the engine back on, “It’s a hundred degrees in here. Store had AC”.

“We’re fine” Ian lies, feeling Mickey’s hand settle back over his on the car seat.

“We got popsicles” Debbie says, turning around to look at them, “Want some?”

“Fuck yes” Mickey answers, stretching forward to take the ones she passes back for them.

Fiona pulls back onto the road as everyone else unwraps their popsicles and tries to cool off, Ian and Mickey in particular.

But when Ian looks over and sees his boyfriend licking the dripping popsicle before shoving it into his mouth, he feels even hotter than he did before, and small sound of interest escapes from his lips before he can stop it.

Mickey’s eyes flicker over in amusement, and he sucks on his popsicle a little more aggressively just to get him going. Ian shoves him, subtly gesturing at his swim trunks that are starting to show his excitement again.

“ _Fuck off_ ” he whispers.

Mickey just sticks his tongue out playfully and then goes back to his popsicle, with Ian very pointedly not looking over at him again until he is done and tossing the wooden stick to the floor.

By the time they get to the beach, everyone is hot and sweaty and more than ready for a refreshing swim in Lake Michigan.

Mickey yanks off his shirt as soon as they get out of the van and Ian does the same, tossing them both back into the backseat of the van before giving Mickey a playful shove and taking off on the sand towards the lake.

He hears Mickey let out laugh and Mo a bark, before his boyfriend comes tearing down the beach after him, reaching him right as Ian arrives at the edge of the lake.

Ian feels Mickey launch onto his back, and he shoves his arms under his boyfriend’s stocky legs to hold him there as he charges into the lake.  

 _“Ándale, ándale! Vámonos!”_ Mickey teases, reaching back to give him a firm smack on the ass. Ian laughs and releases Mickey as soon as he gets chest deep, dropping both of them underneath the cool water just as Mo goes swimming past.

“Ahh” he sighs as he comes back up, his hot skin prickling pleasantly in the lake water. Mickey shakes his head like a dog as he comes back up, before panting and grinning at Ian.

“What?” Ian asks, smiling back as he treads water gently.

“C’mere” Mickey tips his chin at him suggestively, and Ian swims towards him, meeting him halfway in the kiss.

They hold each other and sink slightly before they naturally float up again, using their legs to keep themselves in place instead as their hands are now busy gripping onto each other’s arms.  

They make out for another moment or so before they hear, “This is a public beach ya know” as Lip goes swimming past them, splashing at them teasingly.

Ian and Mickey release each other at the exact same time to splash him back, joining Lip in what quickly becomes a swimming race. Ian of course easily out swims both of them, and makes it back to the sand first.

Mickey soon joins him as Lip goes off in a different direction, and they collapse onto the warm sand back where Fiona is waiting for her turn to go for a real swim, instead of just wading in the lake with Liam.

Carl and Debbie are running down the beach chasing seagulls with Mo, and Lip had apparently found some cute girl getting her tan on to talk to.

That leaves Ian and Mickey on babysitting duty, and they each sit on either side of Liam as he digs into the sand with a plastic shovel.

Ian hangs back a bit, and watches Mickey help his little brother fill up his small bucket with sand and then tip it over, making a semi-decent sandcastle.

“But see, the best part is tearing it down Liam. Give it a good kick. Yeah! Just like that. Badass” Mickey offers a Liam a high five, and he smacks his little hand against Mickey’s, keeping it there.

Mickey runs his white thumb over the back of Liam’s chubby dark brown hand, using his other hand to shield his eyes as he looks down the beach. He turns to squint at Ian, “Did Fiona put sunscreen on him?”

He shrugs, “Yeah, probably. She wouldn’t have left him out here if she didn’t”. Mickey nods, “Okay. Did you?”

Ian scrunches his face in amusement, wriggling his toes in the warm sand, “No mom”. Mickey rolls his eyes, “Fuck you. Bet your white ass burns like a motherfucker”.

Ian laughs, “Well maybe you can check it out for me later”.

His boyfriend doesn’t even look over at him, just grins to himself.

“Maybe I fuckin will”.

It’s more of a promise than a threat.

They sit there in a happy silence for a while, as Ian stretches out in the sand, letting his skin soak up the sun while Mickey keeps Liam entertained.

“Mick?” he asks after a while, wondering how best to approach the question on his mind.

It had still been hovering around ever since earlier that morning, when he was making breakfast.

“Sup?” Mickey answers, handing Liam a water bottle to take a sip from.

“Have you ever thought about having kids someday?” Ian looks up at the bright blue summer sky, giving Mickey the privacy of whatever facial reaction he’s going to have before he answers.

Not that he even really knew how he felt about it himself. He was just curious to know what Mickey did.

Instead, Mickey just answers his question with another question, “Where the fuck did that come from?”

Ian shrugs, “I don’t know. I’m just curious I guess. Have you?” He glances over to see Mickey scratching his head and frowning.

“I don’t know man”.

Something about his expression tells Ian he has thought about it before, although he can’t tell in what context.

“Have… you?” Mickey asks back uncomfortably, playing a little less enthusiastically with Liam.

Ian nods the back of his head into the sand, feeling it grit into his red hair. “Yeah, not a lot, but I have. Way down the road I guess”.

Mickey trails his fingers through the sand casually, squinting into the bright sunlight reflecting off the lake.

“Like what? Finding a chick to have your baby? Adopting? What?”

“I don’t know” Ian answers honestly.

All he knew is that he used to want to have kids someday when he was younger. He always pictured having his own family. And even though that dream had gone away for a while, it had come back when he came to terms more with his sexuality and the different possibilities of his future.

There were even times he’d had a flash of a thought of him and Mickey taking care of a baby, just like they took care of Liam sometimes.

Of course, he would never tell Mickey that.

A gay relationship was not as black and white as a straight one, and with him and Mickey especially because of their situation, there was no clear-cut trajectory, no obvious path for them.

No guaranteed future even, really, as sad as that thought was for Ian.

Fiona comes back over to them, dripping from the lake and tossing her wet brown hair in their direction, distracting both of them.

Mickey reacts to getting hit by the spray like he’s greatly offended, but she just kicks her foot at him teasingly.

“Thanks for looking after Liam guys, you can take a break now though”. Mickey ruffles Liam’s hair as he gets up, coming over to offer Ian a hand. He pulls him to his feet, and Ian slings his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders as they start to walk down the beach together.

It’s still quite hot out, but being right by waters edge, it feels breezy and comfortable, even with the extra warmth of Mickey underneath his arm.

They walk for quite some time, leaving the main beach and entering into a quieter area around the bend where no one had set up yet.

Opportunity knocks at Ian’s teenage brain as he looks around. He still hasn’t gotten off, not with interruptions already coming up twice today.

He gazes over at his boyfriend’s bare toned chest, and his soft stomach with just a hint of a treasure trail, and he feels a familiar pull in his junk.

Ian nuzzles over to give Mickey a soft kiss on his neck, and then nips his earlobe. Mickey touches his ear where Ian had bitten him, laughing in disbelief.

“Frisky motherfucker”.

“I’ve been wanting to fuck you all day, ever since I got into the van after you and had your perfect ass in my face for a solid minute” Ian grins, raising his eyebrows as Mickey looks over at him in amusement.

“That so?”

Instead of answering with words, Ian stops walking and trails his fingers over the waistband of Mickey’s swim shorts, the dark-haired boy shivering in response. Mickey wants him just as bad, he can tell, so Ian teases him a little more, letting his fingers roam over his shorts and pausing at his crotch.

He can feel Mickey’s semi soft cock underneath the material stiffening at his touch. Mickey bites his lip, shaking his head at him, “What the fuck are you doing Gallagher?”

Ian leans in and kisses his neck, resting his lips against his pulse point, “Not doing anything”.

“I bet to fuckin differ” Mickey says breathily, leaning in for another kiss, but Ian puts one hand on his chest and pushes him down onto the sand, lowering himself at the same time.

Mickey leans back against the hot sand as Ian straddles and hovers over him, looking down at his handsome face.

A seagull screams as it flies over them, adding to the sounds of the lake lapping up against the shore.

The other beachgoers are too far away now to hear, and they are lost in their own private moment. The August heat’s got nothing on them.

The sand is burning and gritty against Ian’s skin where it touches, but in other places he feels Mickey. He’s hot to the touch as well, but he’s soft and inviting too…

He lowers his hips slightly, grinding into Mickey’s crotch and igniting his semi again. He starts to lower himself slowly but Mickey reaches up and grabs the back of his neck, rolling and pulling him down faster, bringing his lips into Ian’s desperately.

“You want it? You want me?” Ian asks, his words shaking into his boyfriend’s mouth as he practically trembles with need, pleasantly caught off guard by how quickly Mickey came around.

Mickey nods, opening his mouth to slide his tongue in and against Ian’s, as he arches his back upwards and presses his hard dick against Ian’s leg.

Ian nods back, wordlessly telling Mickey he’ll take care of him as they both reach down to lower their swim shorts. Ian finishes first and helps Mickey yank his down next, turning him onto his side afterwards. He spits into his hand generously, before lowering it to rub into Mickey’s hole, loosening him with his finger at the same time.

“ _Fuck_ ….” Mickey sighs, and then groans, shifting back into his hand. Ian rests his chin on the side of Mickey’s neck, looking down at his face to watch his pleasured reactions as he fingers him.

And then as he presses into him with his cock.

Mickey bites his lip and grunts, nodding his head slightly in affirmation even as his eyes are closed from the stretching sensation.

Ian fucks into him slowly, cautious because even though they are out of sight, it’s still bright daylight and they are out in public, so someone could always come exploring this end of the beach.

But he doesn’t worry about that for long, as he sinks more deeply into the feeling, Mickey laying on his side making it an especially tight squeeze. Ian lowers one arm down over Mickey’s chest, his boyfriend immediately grabbing onto it as he arches his back even more.

Ian works him with an easy pace, slowly building both of them as Mickey’s eyes keep closing and his mouth keeps opening in quiet pleasure. He moves his arm from Mickey’s chest downwards slightly so he can stroke his cock at the same time.

Mickey doesn’t complain, and Ian jerks him to the same pace of his gentle thrusts.

They are much quieter than usual, perhaps because they are in such a public place, but Ian does hear a little whimper from Mickey right as he watches his now reddened cock shoot his release into the sand.

“ _Mmhhh_ ” Ian presses his lips together and grabs the top of Mickey’s hip, fucking him a little harder for his own release.

He sighs happily as he comes, pulling out slowly and placing a loving kiss on Mickey’s spine after he’s finished.

Mickey rolls back around in the sand. He kisses Ian on the lips, and then on the forehead, not caring about the sweat and the sand that’s sticking to him, because he’s just as bad.

“I’m a mess” Mickey says softly as he pulls away, smiling at him.

“I know” Ian answers, smiling back a little more eagerly as he comes up with an idea.

“Race you to the water?”

“You got it Army”.

The two of them yank their shorts back up and run for the lake, throwing themselves into it as eagerly as they throw themselves into each other.

 


	53. He Does Me Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets trashed at the Gallagher house party.

“What’s this?” Ian asks, as his family pulls up in front of the Gallagher house that night after their day long trip to the beach. There’s music blaring from the house, and the lights are all on, peaking his interest.

He turns to look at Mickey to see if he had anything to do with it, but he seems just as confused as Ian is, and simply shrugs his shoulders.

Fiona turns around in her seat to lean towards them, “Okay so, I know you said no coming out party, but this is just a regular party. So you can’t say anything”.

Ian grins at the overly innocent look on her face, “That just happens to take place the _day after_ I came out”. He laughs, “Is that Kev and V in there?”

She nods, beaming at him. “I asked them to come over and get things started before we got back”.

Fiona waves her cellphone in front of his face, showing him a very brief text conversation in which V had instantly agreed to bring over booze and music.

Mickey suddenly clears his throat, “What exactly did you tell them?” Ian looks back to see his boyfriend’s face is darker now, with worry lines creasing his forehead, and his own excitement dulls slightly.

Fiona looks back at him with a reassuring smile.

“I didn’t tell them anything about you two. But I want you to know Mickey, neither one of them would ever say anything. V is my best friend, and they love us Gallaghers too, believe it or not”.

Ian rubs the top of Mickey’s hand with his own, trying to convey his trust, and he feels him relax slightly.

“Alright…they can fuckin know I guess. But only cause I don’t wanna play ‘friends’ with Ian all night. No one else though...fuck I’m dying for a beer. Let’s get out of this shitbox”.

With Mickey’s go ahead, they all pile out of the van and head into the house, Fiona digging around in the kitchen drawers for noise cancelling headphones for Liam so he can still go to bed on time.

When she comes back downstairs alone she claps her hands together in determination, “Let’s do this!” She dances over to V, who is already moving to the music, while the rest of them go to get some drinks.

Ian breezes past his boyfriend to quickly go to the bathroom, and when he comes back out he spots him standing across the living room, shot gunning beers with Lip by the fish tank.

Mickey smiles into his beer can as Ian heads over, and he gestures with his finger, Ian coming in close so he can transfer the can to his mouth without making a mess.

He drains the beer from the slit Mickey had cut into the can, and Lip hands each of them another one once he’s finished, still looking amused at the sight of them together.

Ian’s lips feel chapped and dry after spending the entire day in the sun, and he chugs his second beer eagerly, feeling a nice buzz settle over him. He has to be a little more careful with his drinking because of his medication, but he’s tested his limits and he knows he can handle it if he takes breaks here and there.

“Should I invite Mandy over?” he asks, tapping Mickey on the shoulder to get his attention. It only seemed fair, considering she also played a role in their coming out.

“Go for it” Mickey answers, looking at something behind him thoughtfully.

Kev comes over to them, and Ian’s eyes flicker past his boyfriend’s to see his sister and V dancing on each other. They always did shit like that.

It was so much easier for girls that were friends to be physically affectionate with each other, and nobody ever thought anything of it. If only him and Mickey could be like that around the people they still had to fool in public.

Kev puts one large hand on each of their shoulders, pulling Mickey and Ian in on either side as they start to laugh. Kev’s a fucking goof, but he’s a good guy, and everybody loves him.

“Cheers for queers!” he hoots, raising his beer to them.

Ian smiles as Fiona yells back “Wooo!”, everyone else raising their drinks to them.

Mickey’s eyes gleam with a heat that Ian recognizes as he takes two more of the shots that V brings over, dumping them down his throat and then licking his lips before he moves in closer, Ian grinning as the distance between them closes.

Alcohol was one sure-fire way for Mickey to be more open with his actions, and he wonders if it’s also a way for Mickey to fight his own nerves about being openly affectionate with him in front of everyone.

The doorbell rings, and there is the briefest of interruptions as Mandy comes in and says a quick hello to everyone before going to get herself a drink from the kitchen, Lip trailing after her like a dog. Everyone else gets back to their dancing and the house loud is and exuberant again, filled with life and laughter.

Mickey’s eyes flicker after them briefly before he decides he’d rather focus right now on what’s right in front of him.

_Ian._

Ian, who leans against Mickey’s firm and solid body, running his hands down his boyfriend’s sides as he begins to dance on him.

This was all he had wanted to do at the school dance, but he would take getting to do this now without complaint.

And Mickey giving in to it was even better.

He’s a few shots and drinks deeper than Ian is, and in a more of a “I don’t give a fuck” state after all the big steps he’s taken over the past two days.

The mood is playful at first, and Ian moves behind him, keeping his hands on Mickey’s thick hips as he gently grinds against his perfect ass. He’s know he’s acting like a horny kid at some middle school dance, but it’s just too tempting not to.

And sober Mickey might tell him to fuck off.

Smashed Mickey does not. “Baby grind on mee…” he sings drunkenly, before he bursts out laughing, feeling Ian pressed up suggestively against his ass.

Between the friction and heat, the mood isn’t playful for long, and soon they are dancing like they are at a club, surrounded by strangers… but with no one else in the room.

With one hand still clutching his fresh beer, and the other outstretched into the space beside them, Mickey turns around and presses his forehead to Ian’s, and lets him dance against him, lets him run his hands over his toned and solid body, and he touches him back.

As everyone gets more trashed, nobody even pays attention to what they are doing anymore, and Ian presses his junk against Mickey’s thigh again, grinding into him more needily. He knows Mickey can feel his hard on now, and there’s nothing subtle about it anymore.

Mickey licks his lips and leans in slowly towards him, pausing for a second before he presses his lips to Ian’s.

His lips are dry and chapped too, but he tastes like beer and sunshine, and he smells like the beach. Ian kisses him back, moving into him even more.

He can’t hear Mickey moan over the blasting music, but he feels it in his mouth, the sound travelling through him like fire.

“I want you so bad” he murmurs into Mickey’s ear, watching the goosebumps appear on his pale skin as his boyfriend licks his lips again.

He reaches a hand down subtly to Mickey’s crotch and brushes against the boner he had apparently tried to hide, by tucking in into his waistband when Ian wasn’t looking.

“Mmm” Ian says, nodding as Mickey looks into his eyes, a deep need reflected in their blues. He takes Mickey’s hand and leads him upstairs, away from the rest of the party.

He brings him straight to the bathroom, knowing Liam is asleep in his own room. He doesn’t want to be gentle, he doesn’t want to be quiet.

He just wants.

Ian kicks the door shut behind them as him and Mickey stumble into the bathroom, tangled into each other, all open mouths and groans. He kisses down Mickey’s neck, and after moving his hands to grasp onto his hips, he turns him around again and yanks down his swim trunks.

Mickey drains his beer and drops the empty bottle into the sink with a clatter as Ian pushes him up against it from behind, rolling his hips and pressing his hard-on up against Mickey’s hole.

The music reaches them right upstairs, but he can hear Mickey in here too.

Can hear the sounds of want he makes.

“Fuckin tease” Mickey moans breathily, looking up into the mirror to catch the reflection of his eyes. Ian’s dark eyes flicker back up at him in the glass as he kisses his neck again.

Mickey hangs his head and bites his lip until Ian starts to stroke his cock with one hand, and then he looks back up into the mirror, both of them watching each other’s faces.

Ian loves it, getting a wicked thrill from being able to watch Mickey’s changing expressions as he begins to scissor his fingers into him.

The way his cheeks flush and his pupils widen and darken, the way he loses control over his mouth, and the way it opens and closes as he swallows hard with pleasure, shaking his head in denial over how good Ian can make him feel.

“ _Ian…”_

Ian moves his hand from Mickey’s cock onto his shoulder, gripping it tightly as he takes his fingers out of Mickey’s ass and pushes into him with his cock instead.

_“Fuckk…”_

It’s strange, and insanely hot, eye fucking his boyfriend in the mirror while he actually fucks him.

And Mickey is just giving him all the control, letting him do what he wants, as he just fucking lets go and allows himself himself be dominated.

“Mickey” he gasps, sliding his hand down from his boyfriend’s shoulder to wrap his arm around his soft abdomen instead, holding him closer.

He watches his own eyes darken and expand, his eyelids getting heavier with sexual intoxication as he fucks into Mickey hard, slamming him up against the sink repeatedly.

He gives it to him rough, catering to both their moods.

And Mickey’s eyes, he sees the orgasm building in them, and he watches breathlessly as the pupils dilate and expand even more, his mouth opening and grimacing as he’s hit by it.

Sweat beads on his forehead just below his dark hair, and his brilliant blue eyes roll back a bit as he finally pushes back against the sink violently and shoots his load to the floor, untouched as he finishes.

Ian’s mouth opens and his eyes close, as he continues to hump into Mickey, arching his back and clenching his teeth as he feels his own orgasm roll through him, practically knocking him on his ass. He pulls out and jizzes onto the floor too.  

He’s spent, and panting.

Mickey slowly turns and looks their come on the floor, and then at him, shaking his head in disbelief, “That was fucking amazing”.

“You’re fucking amazing” Ian answers, giving him a sloppy kiss that almost misses his mouth, “I’ll clean up. You can go down first if you want, just so it’s less you know-“

“Obvious that you fucked the shit out of me?” Mickey laughs, panting slightly. “I need a drink. See you downstairs”.

He gives Ian another satisfied kiss before he heads out of the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind himself.

Ian’s shoulders drop after he leaves and he looks at himself in the mirror for a second, his damp and sweaty red hair pushed up messily on his head, his cheeks flushed, his expression happy.

Mickey was the best anti-depressant that he could have.

When Ian comes back downstairs a while later, after he finishes cleaning up, he sees Mickey had gotten even deeper into V’s shots of vodka, as he dances beside her with abandon.

“Iannnn... there’s Ian” he says, raising his hand to point at him in excitement. V laughs, “I know honey, look at that handsome redhead”.

Mickey nods his head, biting his bottom lip, “He’s all mine. Fuck he does me good”.

Ian blushes as he grabs another beer for himself, noticing the surprised and amused look on Lip’s face at Mickey’s drunken admission.

Mickey notices too.

“I’m gonna mmm… someday…” he mumbles and trails off as he addresses Lip, “…Your brother”.

“Is that so?” Lip chuckles, amused, “Ian what the hell where you doing for so long upstairs? He’s fuckin trashed. Pretty sure he did the last entire tray of shots”.

“I was…thirsty” Mickey says defensively, laughing at himself afterwards and trying to wink at Ian.

Ian pulls his eyes away from Mickey, trying not to smirk.

“Cleaning…something”.

Ian and Lip both turn in surprise, and then start to laugh, as Mickey suddenly forgets about their conversation, and starts to sing along with the song that’s currently playing,

“Got girls to my left, drinks to my right, how can you doubt it, this is gon' be one of them nights. Whatever you neeeed is on the dance floor….can't wait anymore because it don't last forever… _No-oh whoa_..” he nods at Ian as he dances, who frankly is enjoying the hell out of this.

Drunk Mickey was fucking fun.

Mandy comes over to smirk at her older brother after watching him sing along with the song blasting through Fiona’s speakers, but seeing him past his normal point of public intoxication, she turns to his boyfriend instead.

“Ian, can you help me get him home tonight? Dad’s not there, so you can stay over if you want”.

Before Ian can even answer Mickey butts in, “This is…a fuckin party. Mandy”.

She rolls her eyes, and giggles. “Yeah, and I get you’ve grown some serious balls over the past couple days, but I’m sure the Gallaghers don’t want to deal with your drunk ass all night”.

He just shakes his dark head, and Mandy looks over at Ian for help, who seeing her point quickly steps in with, “Well okay, you can stay here then. I guess me and Mandy will just go back to your place and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow”.

Mickey scoffs as he turns to his sister, who had initiated the conversation.

“I’m coming too. With Ian. I go where he goes” he tells her.

He’s too trashed to notice the small smile on Ian’s face as him and Mandy help to prop him up with their shoulders, and walk him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! Until the next chapter, new Ian & Mickey video edit here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjFN9YSjk60 :)


	54. The Secret Of The Milkovich House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian takes care of drunk Mickey, and learns something about the Milkovich family.

Mickey burps loudly and groans as Mandy readjusts his limp weight on her shoulder, and she grimaces, warning him as they approach their house.

“Mickey, you better not fucking puke on me. I swear. I’m already covered in your nasty sweat”.

Ian is about to defend his boyfriend by saying they are both just as sweaty, it’s hot as balls out, but Mickey is already opening his mouth, presumably to argue back.

Instead of arguing back, he hurls onto the sidewalk in front of the Milkovich house, with the splashback hitting both Ian and Mandy, who cringe but continue to support him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake” his sister grumbles, dragging him over to and then dumping him on the front steps of their house, “That’s disgusting Mick”.

She turns to Ian and shudders dramatically, “He’s your fucking problem now”.

Ian scratches the back of his head, observing Mickey who is now leaning back against the steps and closing his eyes.

“He doesn’t usually get this drunk”.

Mandy shrugs, “Not with you maybe. This is _Mickey trying-to-act-like-he’s-not-scared-about-something_ drunk. You get used to it, living with our dad. I’ve seen him like this more times than I can count”.

Ian nods, “I get it. Terry won’t find out, I promise”.

As much as Mickey’s bravery in coming out to Ian’s family and encouraging him to do the same meant to him, he was under no illusion that it would all be sunshine and rainbows for them going forward.

They’d still have to watch themselves in public, and he would have to try and avoid being around while Terry was home. But still…it was worth it for the moments they now could share.

Mandy looks back at her older brother and her expression softens slightly, “I hope not. I’ll do my best to help you guys. And Ian? Thanks for helping take care of him”.

Ian just grins at her, “It’s what we do”.

It was true, growing up with a houseful of siblings, he was always helping take care of someone or another. Mandy laughs and heads inside, and Ian smiles down at his passed-out boyfriend.

What’s a little puke from the love of your life?

He crouches down beside Mickey and grunts as he picks him up, finding his solid weight significantly more taxing while he’s unconscious.

Ian straightens up slowly, and kicking opening the door as he steadies himself, brings Mickey inside the house, all of his arm muscles straining as he carries him into his room.

He puts Mickey down on his bed as gently as he can, stretches, and then pulls off Mickey’s shoes and his dirty shirt before he heads into the bathroom to get a bucket and a washcloth. That was exactly what Fiona had done for him the first time he was hungover.

Ian gently wipes Mickey’s face clean with the cloth, paying extra care around his mouth before he pushes the bucket over to the floor in front of him, and quietly leaves him there to sleep for a while.

Noticing that Mandy had already gone to bed, but not feeling tired himself, Ian wanders around the house for a bit, hoping he’ll feel tired soon.

There’s not much for him to do. He could make a field day of cleaning the place, but he’d rather not, and it would probably piss Mickey off anyways.

Curiosity grabs him when he reaches Terry’s bedroom door, and he stands there for a moment, thinking.

What made him such a hateful bastard? How could Ian hate someone so much he had barely even spoken to?

He hesitates at first, almost completely walking away, but then curiosity gets the better of him and he pushes open the bedroom door, looking around the mostly dark room with inquisitive eyes as some light spills in from the hallway.

Ian doesn’t leave what feels like the safety of the doorway as he scans over the bedroom, his breath shallow.

It’s pretty plain.

A mess mostly, is his first impression.

There are a few posters of half naked women taped onto the walls, including a pinup calendar that’s five years out of date, some clothes are strewn around on the floor, and there’s a collection of handguns resting casually on top of the dresser. He spots at least two ashtrays too, and _a lot_ of empty bottles.

The interesting thing is the mess is it’s almost entirely on just one side of the room.

Even the bed is a mess on one side, and neatly made up on the other.

What the fuck is that about? Ian leaves the doorway, switching on the bedroom light to get a better look. Seeing some picture frames on the walls, he heads towards them first.

Family photos…

Ian moves closer to them, touching the dusty frames gently with his fingertips.

The first one is a lineup Terry and all his kids, but the second one catches his interest more.

It’s one of those generic family photos that you get taken at the photo studio in the mall, where you all pose together and smile, and it’s clearly well over a decade old, because Mickey and Mandy don’t look any older than four or so in it.

Ian zooms in in on the little boy in the photo. Mickey. He’s got a big toothy grin on his face, and his freckles are much more prominent than they are now.

His blue eyes look more happy than piercing at that age, but there’s still a hint of his stubbornness in them that Ian recognizes now. He was a cute kid.

Terry, Mickey, Mandy, and the beautiful dark-haired woman.

Mickey’s mom. She had to be.

Ian can see the resemblance. With her arching eyebrows, her dark and shiny hair, and her deep blue eyes, it’s not hard. Frankly, she’s stunning.

She could be a model, Ian thinks. But she also looks kind, and he notices she’s resting one delicate hand on each of her two children sitting in front of her.

Mickey looks so different, so innocent… but it’s still him.

Ian looks at the little boy in the photograph and wonders what happened between the time the photo was taken and the time that he really started getting to know Mickey, almost a year ago now.

The room is a strange parallel of loss, Ian realizes, as he steps away from the photo and looks around himself again.

One side showing the departed, all of her things reverently kept just how she had left them. And the other side careless… angry and abandoned.

Ian shakes his head, some realizations dawning on him.

He’d almost feel sorry for Terry if he didn’t know what a psychotic prick he was.

And he’d always been that way, even when he had a beautiful family that he should have appreciated. He was the one that had pushed his wife to her breaking point, no doubt.

No. The only people Ian feels sorry for are Mickey and Mandy. Sorry for the father they were given, and sorry for the mother that couldn’t hang on for them.

They deserved better than they got.

Ian lets out a shaky sigh as he leaves the room.

He closes the door quietly behind himself and goes out to the front porch, badly in need of a cigarette. He feels a little guilty for snooping through Terry’s room, even though he hadn’t learned much he couldn’t have guessed on his own.

He just feels like he stumbled onto something private, something he wasn’t supposed to see.

The secret of the Milkovich house.

Loss, and loneliness. Etched into all it’s walls, trapping each of them here.

Ian’s own parents deserved no awards, they were cowards, and cared next to nothing about their children. But Frank and Monica never went after them the way Terry Milkovich went after his kids, using them as his punching bags to let out his deep-set anger and grief.

The Gallagher home was warm, and filled with love, even without a set of perfect parents. And even though Ian had hidden who he was from his family for so long, he knows now that he didn’t need to.

Because they would always be there for him, no matter what.

He was lucky to have that, luckier than he had realized.

Ian butts out his cigarette and heads back inside, quietly locking the front door behind himself before he heads into the kitchen to get a glass of water for Mickey to grab in the morning.

He closes Mickey’s bedroom door behind himself too, and turns around to take off his puke sprayed shoes, and leave them at the door before he goes over to the bed.

“Hey”.

Ian turns at the soft sound of Mickey’s groggy voice, surprised to see him awake.

Mickey still looks a little out of it, but a lot better than he was before. He’s laying on his side against the edge of his bed, and he smiles gently at the sight of Ian as he stands by his bedroom door.

“Hey” Ian says back quietly.

Seeing Mickey laying there like that makes him involuntarily think of the little boy in the picture, and he feels a little lump form in his throat.

Ian always had Fiona and even Lip to help take care of him when he was growing up.

But who had taken care of Mickey when he was younger, and actually sick? Who made sure he went to bed on time? Or that he got to school safely, ate his dinner, or did his homework?

It might be hard to imagine Mickey Milkovich, tough as he had become and making a name for himself in the South Side in the process, as ever being just a lost and scared little kid.

But who had made sure that little boy went to bed at night, knowing that _someone_ , anyone, loved and cared about him?

Mickey speaks again, pulling Ian away from his troubled thoughts and into the present moment, too out of it to notice anything different.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

Ian lets out his breath, “Of course”.

He carries the glass of water over to his boyfriend and presses it into his hand.

Mickey sips from it as Ian crawls over him onto the bed to lay beside him, and once he’s finished drinking he shoves it onto the bedside table and turns to look at him apologetically.

“Sorry I fuckin puked on you”.

Ian smiles, “It’s okay”.

“And thanks for staying”.

Ian leans forward to kiss Mickey’s forehead, but as he pulls away he sees Mickey’s already fading again.

“Thanks for letting me love you” he whispers, right as Mickey closes his eyes, and gives in to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little sad but it's important for some character development/background info on Mickey even though we are discovering it through Ian's POV. Being a longer series I think it's important to flesh out the characters as much as possible :P


	55. Lighting The Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries to get Mickey to open up about what happened to his mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A follow up on what Ian discovered the day before (so a bit more Milkovich history, but also just Mickey and Ian being there for each other no matter what, which is my favorite thing about them). I'll get back into some lighter topics next chapt :)  
> I'm also considering putting in a throwback chapter at some point of Mickey's time in Memphis

Ian’s surprised to open his eyes the next morning and find Mickey already awake, sneakily taking a picture of him.

Ian blushes and covers his face with his hands, “What are you doing”.

Mickey laughs, shaking his head slightly, also a little embarrassed. “Nothing. You just look good when you sleep”.

“Oh, just when I’m asleep. I see how it is” Ian teases, rolling off his back to tickle his boyfriend. As soon as he moves though, he grimaces in pain. “Holy fuck you’re burnt” Mickey says, raising his eyebrows disapprovingly as he sees Ian’s back.

“Jesus Christ it stings” he answers in annoyance, trying to turn his head enough to get a glimpse of the damage.

“Well maybe you should have listened to me and not spent an entire day at the beach without wearing fucking sunscreen” Mickey chides him, climbing off the bed as he is flipped off.

He wanders out of the room and comes back a few minutes later holding a small bottle, tipping his head at Ian, who’s now sitting on the edge of the bed.

He’s not looking forward to putting a shirt on over his heated skin, and the burn is making him pissy.

Mickey tilts the bottle in his hand, “Stand up super ginger”.

Ian does as he’s told, frowning in confusion until he feels a cold cream being spread onto his back.

“Fuck that’s cold!”

“Quit bitching, it’ll help with the burn. And at least it’s just your back” Mickey says affectionately from behind him.

Ian shuts up and closes his eyes as Mickey gently spreads the lotion across his entire back. He has to admit; the relief is almost instant.

Mickey’s quietly humming to himself, his actions almost rhythmic, and without the distraction of the pressing burn, Ian remembers last night.

He suddenly feels nervous. His decision to go snooping in Terry’s room was a little more questionable now that he’s entirely sober.

He tries not the let the anxiety build, but it’s a bit of a losing battle, and when Mickey finishes up and comes around, he frowns at the look on Ian’s face.

“What? That should have helped”.

“It did” Ian answers, going to rub the back of his neck but then wincing as he remembers his burn, “I’m just feeling…bad” he finishes lamely, not sure how to explain himself.

“Bad like you did something, or bad like you’re…you know, not feeling well. Because I’m pretty sure you were here all night, so I don’t think you did anything fucked” Mickey says, smiling at him reassuringly.

Didn’t do anything fucked.

Didn’t go snooping in his crazy dad’s room just because he was curious.

“No it’s just me being nervous for no good fucking reason, as per usual” he lies overly cheerful, trying to brush it off.

His tone doesn’t fool his boyfriend, or himself.

“Aw… c’mere”.

Ian lets Mickey hold him for a while, before Mickey eventually pulls away and gives him a kiss, rubbing the sides of his arms reassuringly.

Ian clears his throat, trying to figure out how to ask Mickey about his mom without upsetting him.

It was possible he wouldn’t care at all, but Ian felt that was unlikely.

No matter what, he had to know. Otherwise it would just keep bothering him, especially after what he had seen last night. Although he’s not going to tell Mickey about that part.

He also feels like a bit of a dick for letting his boyfriend comfort him when he’s most likely about to piss him off.

“Mickey? Can I ask you something?”

Mickey props a cigarette between his lips and lights it, offering Ian one in the process. “Sure”.

He turns down the cigarette and tries to look at the floor instead of his boyfriend as he says it, but he ends up looking up anyways.

 “What happened to your mom?”

Mickey’s face and expressions immediately change, and Ian can tell he’s going to be agitated and defensive right off the bat. But he presses anyways, needing to know.

She had been sick like him apparently, depressed. He remembers Mickey telling him that, something about Ian taking the steps she never did, to get help, but that was all he had ever said about it.

“You never told me about her really” he says, trying to draw out a response.

“She’s dead” Mickey says bluntly, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, trying to appear overly casual.

“I know that” Ian says gently, “What happened? I’m sorry for asking but I just keep thinking about it”.

Mickey narrows his eyes at him at first, but then he shakes his head, trying to control whatever emotions Ian had caused to resurface.

Ian knows damn well his first impulse was probably to punch him, but Mickey’s been testing himself since day one with him, learning how to love someone properly.

That’s how Ian knew he was nothing like his dad.

He seems reluctant to speak at first, but then it’s like the words are coming out on their own, and he seems dazed, “She…was never happy I guess. I think my dad loved her in some fucked up way, but he was always on her, everything was her fault. She got depressed and fucking scared all the time, like you are sometimes…but she never got any help. She wouldn’t. And then things got worse. He’d come home drunk and smack her around, right in front of us. So she got even worse”.

He looks up at Ian and makes this face like the whole thing doesn’t matter, but it clearly does.

“What was she like? Before that…” Ian asks, trying to bring up her picture in his mind.

Again, Mickey gets defensive, and Ian can tell his anger is building.

“I don’t fucking know Ian. She was a mom. She cared, at least I thought she fucking did”.

“I think she did care” Ian says cautiously, thinking of the photograph hanging in her old bedroom, now occupied only by Terry.

Thinking of the way her hands rested on her children. There was love there, he could see it.

“How the fuck would _you_ know?” Mickey suddenly snaps, “You don’t leave someone if you care about them. You don’t fucking kill yourself and leave your two fucking kids with an asshole like him _if you fucking love them_!”

He had gotten up in Ian’s face by the last part of his outburst, his red face just an inch away from Ian’s, with angry tears threatening to fall from his pained blue eyes as it all boiled to the surface.

Ian just looks back at him, trying to keep his own emotions from spilling over.

The house is dead silent, and he can tell that Mandy shut off her music when she heard them yelling.

“Why the fuck would you bring this up today? Ruined everything. Get the fuck out of here, go” Mickey suddenly snaps, turning his back on him to stare out the window.

He’s practically shaking he’s so worked up, and it looks like he’s trying to control himself from lashing out anymore.

Ian hesitates, every instinct in him telling him to hold Mickey, to make it better, to take away his hurt. But he can tell that’s not what his boyfriend wants right now, so he leaves the room, closing the door behind himself.

He doesn’t go far though, in case Mickey needs him.

Mo follows him out the front door, looking at him somewhat suspiciously after hearing his owner yell at him so passionately. Ian was surprised he hadn’t gotten bit, or punched for that matter.

He sits on the porch steps and waits.

About ten minutes later his phone starts to ring and he picks it up, waiting for Mickey to speak first.

He’s not mad, because he knew that _he_ lit the match that started everything. But it was one of those things he knew they’d have to talk about sooner or later. He wanted to get it out sooner.

“Please come back” Mickey says into the phone, sounding miserable.

Ian bites his lip, looking at the house behind himself.

 “I never left”.

He hears muffled noises over the phone and then the front door opens about thirty seconds later.

Ian turns to look at the sound, and sees Mickey standing there, his eyes still red, but no longer angry. Just sad.

“…I’m sorry” he says, a pained grimace on his face.

Ian stands up and walks over to him, coming back into the house as Mickey wordlessly holds the door open for him.

“You don’t need to be sorry. I just wanted to know”.

Mickey holds up his arms and shrugs as he closes the door, gesturing around the house. “Well now you do”.

***Mickey’s POV***

He’d felt cornered, threatened, and he’d taken it out on Ian…who didn’t deserve it.

There was a reason he never talked about his mum though.

It hurt. It hurt like fucking hell, and he’d buried it a long time ago so he wouldn’t feel that way ever again.

Having it wrenched back out without warning had made him lost his shit, but he felt guilty now for screaming at Ian like it was his fucking fault.

He’d be embarrassed for tearing up too, but it was Ian standing in front of him now, nothing but sympathy and love emanating from him.

Mickey bites his lip, looking at his boyfriend and shaking his head.

“She would have loved you” he says, feeling his voice break, “Because I love you. She wasn’t like my dad”.

He truly believed that. His blurry memories never included her agreeing with any of the hateful or homophobic things Terry said, even when Mickey was too young to understand what he meant himself.

She was always gentle with him, loving, the way he thought parents were supposed to be. But he couldn't help being angry with what she'd done. 

Ian nods, knowing what he means by that, and Mickey looks away so he doesn’t have to see the tears in his eyes as he tries to give Ian some of the answers he’s looking for.

“I…I’m the one that found her” he finally says, sadly.

The force of the hug Ian grabs him into almost knocks the breath out of him, and at first his entire body stiffens defensively, but then he relaxes, and lets himself be held.

 _What the fuck_ would he do without Ian?

He’d never understood what his mother had done until the day he thought he had lost him, back in Memphis. Then it suddenly made sense, carrying so much pain that you didn’t want to carry it anymore.

But Mickey was a fighter, always had been, and he couldn't have hurt Mandy like that. 

Ian just made him soft. Well, not just that. He made him weak in some ways, but stronger in others. And he knew he’d have to be strong for Ian, always, so he would never sink the way his mum did.

Nothing had scared Mickey more than the moment Fiona had admitted to him with tears in her eyes that there were days she didn’t think Ian would make it after had left.

Part of him, deep down, is glad he never had to see Ian that way, because he remembers what his mum was like before…but the rest of him hates himself for almost letting it happen _again._

 “Ian…” he chokes out, “Don’t ever-“

Ian shakes his head vehemently into his shoulder, “I won’t. I promise. I’ll get help if I ever get that bad again”.

Mickey nods his head into his chest, deciding to trust him. “Good. You’re the love of my fucking life man. I need you”.


	56. You Are Now Leaving Chicago (Mickey In Memphis Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey deals with the painful reality of his involuntary move to Memphis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out I need to split this throwback into two parts because there’s more story to jam in than I originally thought. So here’s part one of Mickey’s time in Memphis, starting on the day he left Chicago back in April. If you want to read back on Ian’s experience during this time, it’s chapter 40 & 41

‘ _You are now leaving Chicago’_

The road sign feels like a slap in the face to Mickey, and he grits his teeth as they drive past it, trying desperately to keep his surface appearance cold and uncaring.

In reality, he’s filled with a tornado of both anger and misery, and each emotion fights the other for dominance in his troubled mind.

He is sullen and silent during the day long drive from Chicago to Memphis, sharing the backseat of the Volvo with his equally subdued sister.

She had started out glancing over at him every few minutes after he had yelled out to Ian as they drove away, but he kept his eyes trained on the back of the seat in front of him, refusing to acknowledge her curiosity lest she read in to it.

Finally, she had looked away.

Their social worker insists on making pit stops to use the washroom every couple of hours, but Mickey never gets out of the Volvo with her and Mandy, and he doesn’t eat any of the food Mrs. Pennington brings back for him either.

The only thing he can stomach to consume right now is cigarette smoke, and he doesn’t get out of the car because he doesn’t trust himself not to start running as soon as his feet hit the pavement.

Their social worker tries telling them about half-way through their trip how lucky they are to have found a couple who would take them both in.

Mickey sits there in an aggressive silence, unable to form a sentence scathing enough to get his sentiment across, and Mandy responds in kind for both of them.

“Shut the fuck up”.

When the car finally slows that night in a fairly wealthy suburban neighborhood of Memphis, both of them look out the window with… not interest, not curiosity, but more so a simple and bitter acceptance.

The house they pull up to is nice, Mickey begrudgingly admits to himself, but any idiot could see that. Very nice in comparison to what they had come from.

It’s painted a pleasant green color, and it’s spread out across a large property, accompanied by a double wide garage with ivy arching over both of it’s doors. There’s a massive tree in the front yard too, planted in the middle of a healthy green lawn.

Mo would have loved it here. Mickey feels an ache in his gut as he thinks about the dog he had to leave back home.

But what hadn’t he left behind?

He feels like an intruder on the property as soon as the social worker prods him and Mandy out of the car, and he’s embarrassed as hell carrying his things to the front door like he’s some fucking beggar looking for a home, when this is the type of place he would have robbed before.

In the past of course. Before Ian.

He dumps his shit on the front steps and lights a cigarette while the social worker knocks on the front door, Mandy shoving his shoulder until he gives her one too.

A woman answers the door, a fairly pretty brunette. She’s younger than Mickey would have expected, maybe in her mid thirties.

Foster people were usually old as fuck, in his experience.

She smiles at them, seeming genuine enough. “Hey guys. Welcome…home? I guess that’s sort of a fucked-up thing to say, isn’t it? Call it what you want, but what’s ours is yours”.

Mickey, Mandy, and the social worker all stare as she turns and moves over in the doorway, so the man that appears behind her can join her there too. He’s taller than she is, but has the same color of hair she does, with a confident smile and a stubborn chin.

She jerks her chin towards him, “This is my brother. Rob. And I’m Camille. Probably should have started with that”.

Mickey raises his eyebrows at Mandy, who shrugs back, and their social worker addresses the confusing situation for them.

“Excuse us for our… reactions, but we were expecting a couple… Mr. and Mrs. Connolly? Is that you two?”

They nod together.

“Jesus Christ, they loaded us on some incest twins?” Mickey grumbles, tossing his cigarette butt onto their lawn and grinding it down with his foot.

Rob laughs, “Not incest and not twins. Brother and sister, which was understood by the fostering agency. There must be a typo somewhere in your paperwork”.

Mrs. Pennington nods, scanning over her clipboard again.

“I, yes. My apologies. Well, here are Mikhailo and Miranda Milkovich, your two foster children”.

Mandy snaps, “ _Mickey_ and _Mandy_. And we’re not _children_ either”.

“Mickey and Mandy, got it. Why don’t you all come inside?” Camille offers coolly, holding open the door for them to come in.

“That would be lovely, but I have to get back to Chicago to finish the paperwork on their file before they are legally passed over a new social worker here in Memphis, first thing tomorrow morning” Mrs. Pennington says, stepping away from them and patting both of their shoulders before she heads back to her car, “In the mean time, please call if you need anything. Good luck!”

Mickey yanks away from her touch like it’s poisonous, but Mandy just starts to follow Camille inside. Mickey tries to follow her too, but Rob stops him in the doorway.

“You look like you want to punch something kid. Here, have another smoke before you come in”.

Rob takes a packet of cigarettes out of the breast pocket of his plaid shirt and offers Mickey one.

“Viceroys are shit” Mickey says, taking out one of his own Marlboros.

They stand there and silently smoke together, Mickey unsure of what to think or even say.

He’d never been dumped on anyone for more than two weeks before. And none of them seemed this chill about having a known juvenile delinquent and his questionably dressed sister show up at their doorstep.

Rob butts out his cigarette and waits for Mickey to finish his.

“Alright, come on. Camille’s probably waiting for us” he finally says, waving him inside.

Mickey steps inside the house after Rob, and is greeted by cool AC, the pleasant smell of dinner cooking in the oven, and a friendly but slightly overweight tortoiseshell cat that tries to wind around his legs.

He subtly shoves the cat away with his foot before he follows Rob into the living room, where Mandy is already sitting on the couch with a Coke, looking just as uncertain as Mickey is feeling.  

He quickly goes over to his sister, the only familiar thing in this entire fucked up situation. He’d never felt so comforted by her presence before.

“Did we interrupt you girls?” Rob asks, sinking down in one of the empty armchairs beside his sister.

“No” Camille laughs, “Mostly waiting for you guys. Mandy filled me in on a few things, but I guess it’s our turn to talk now, right? Because we already know about you two” she says, now addressing Mickey and Mandy.

Mickey exchanges a look with his sister.

“Right. So you know I’ve been arrested a shit ton, and that Mandy’s a bit of a slut. Why exactly did you want us again?”

He ignores the eye roll Mandy gives him, and the following shove. She’d never been in denial of it before. In fact, she took some pride in sleeping around, which always annoyed the hell out of him.

Trying to defend her ass to dudes that she too easily gave it to in the first place. Like he didn’t have enough shit to deal with already.

“It’s a long story I guess, but we’ve been in your place. We saw your file and it felt right to have you two here” Camille answers, her brother nodding in agreement.

“You’ve been in our place” Mickey says, looking around the pleasant house. “Hi-larious”.

Camille frowns slightly, “We’ve worked hard to get where we are. Rob and I spent years in the system before we were old enough to be out on our own and take charge of our own lives, to turn them around. It wasn’t easy, but that’s sort of the point of why you’re here, with us. Why we were approved to foster you two in particular”.

“Fuckups fostering fuckups” Mandy says sarcastically.

“Pretty much, but we stuck together and we redeemed ourselves” Rob says, shrugging. “Listen, we don’t expect you two to be fine with all of this right away. We’d be weirded the fuck out if you were. But you don’t need to be on your guard here, alright? We’ll leave you alone at first if you want, until you feel more comfortable. Just don’t fight it tooth and nail, ok guys? We all have to get along for the next three years”.

Mickey closes his eyes for a second, it was true. And he _had_ promised Ian that he’d stay on the straight and narrow, not get himself in any trouble while he was here, so he could come home as soon as possible.

He nods just slightly in agreement.

Camille clears her throat. “Your rooms are upstairs…Mandy you’re on the left, Mickey, you’re at the end of the hallway. Would it be too much to ask if you’d have dinner with us tonight?” She looks at their faces and then nods understandingly.

“Totally fine. I’ll bring up some plates”.

Without another word, Mandy and Mickey grab their bags and trudge up the stairs Camille had pointed out.

Mickey pauses at Mandy’s doorway as she does, peering inside.

A vanity set, a solid oak dresser, a queen bed, and a window with flowing curtains that looks out over the backyard greet his eyes. It’s painted in various shades of light feminine blues and pastel lavenders.

Total chick’s room.

“Out” Mandy says gruffly, pushing him out of the doorway so she can close the door to her room without sealing him in with her.

He’d flip her off if he had the energy to, but instead he continues on to the end of the hallway, reluctantly pushing open his own new bedroom’s door.

Mickey sinks against the doorframe weakly as soon as he looks inside, his eyes filling with tears as they scan over the room.

All of the walls are painted the same rich, comforting and warm, familiar orange.

The wall he’d been building brick by brick since he got in that Volvo back in Chicago, crumbles in an instant.

Mickey drops all his shit and yanks the door closed, immediately running back down the stairs and right out the front door.

He runs down the street until he’s breathless, with no idea what’s he doing until he hears a car pulling up next to him, what feels like over an hour later.

He looks over at the car with wide and confused red eyes.

Rob looks at him and sighs, resting his arm on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry you’re hurting man. I really am. But you can’t run from this”.

Mickey wants to swear at him, kick a dent in his car, but instead he just ends up choking out, “I know”.

Rob drives him back home, and Mickey immediately goes back upstairs without a single word to Camille, going right past Mandy’s still closed door and into his own bedroom.

The color of the walls make him ache, surrounded by something he wants to be held by. All of the pristine furniture in the room, without a single scratch, is everything he’s not. He doesn’t belong here, with all this nice shit. He doesn’t even want it.

Mickey sinks onto his large bed, burying his aching head in his hands. Part of him wants to cry, but he feels empty at the same time.

Hollow.

Exhaustion that he hadn’t known he was carrying washes over him, and even though he thinks he’s going to lay down for just a moment and close his eyes, he doesn’t open them again until morning.

He jumps as soon as he sees the Memphis daylight flooding his orange bedroom, and he immediately checks his phone.

There’s a text from Ian telling him it’s okay to call now if he wants to, asking if he’s settled in.

Mickey’s heart is thudding, and he pauses before he hits the call button, listening.

He opens his bedroom door and peeks around, to make sure nobody is nearby before he goes back into his room and steadies himself, pressing the call icon on the screen.

He has to be calm, and cool. Otherwise he’ll just set Ian off too.

The second Ian answers the phone he says “Hey you”.

“Hey” Ian answers, “What’s the new place like?”

Fuck… he sounds so far away.

Mandy suddenly opens his bedroom door without knocking, and he glares at her, jabbing a tattooed finger at his phone.

Mickey clears his throat, trying to remember what the streets he had taken off on last night looked like. “Different, live right in the city pretty much”.

His boyfriend sounds painfully casual as he attempts to make normal conversation. “What are your foster people like?”

“I don’t fuckin know, nice I guess? I’m not gonna start any shit though, promise. Gonna get out of here as soon as I can”.

He hears Ian laugh softly, “Yeah. Wonder how long that will last”.

The sound makes him smile, for the first time since he’s gotten here. He looks around at the orange walls of his room and waves his hand for Mandy to go away.

As soon as she does, he clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady.

“I miss you Ian”.

There’s a slight pause before he hears Ian’s weak response, “It’s only been a day”.

Mickey shakes his head, even thought Ian can’t see it.

“Doesn’t matter. I already fuckin miss you, not gonna lie and say I don’t”.

The next thing Ian says catches him off guard, causing a deep and almost unbearable ache in his stomach, because he feels so fucking powerless, so guilty.

“Please come home”. He sounds desperate, scared even.

Mickey lets out a shaky sigh after a moment of silence, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Don’t do that Ian, that’s not fuckin fair”.

“I know… I just… I don’t know what to fucking do Mick”.

Mickey quickly searches his brain for some type of instant solution for Ian, seeing Mandy at his bedroom door again.

She mouths, “ _Social worker. Let’s go_ ”.

“Just, pretend I’m away for a couple days. On a run again, you know?” Mickey tells Ian, trying to sound confident as Mandy disappears again.

Ian sniffs, “I’ll try, I don’t see that fucking working too well”.

Mickey laughs, picturing Ian’s probable look of annoyance right now.

What he wouldn’t give to see it in person.

“Yeah, I know. I gotta go though, got a new fuckin social worker to meet. Mandy’s waitin for me outside” he says reluctantly, “Talk to you later...love you”.

“I love you too…”

Mickey feels a little better after that phone call. It didn’t matter how far away from Ian he was, his love for that man was stronger than ever.

They could make it through this. He knew they could.

 

_*One Week Later*_

Mickey was kept busy as hell at first under the new social worker’s nagging, him and Mandy had to go back to school right away to complete their grades, as well as check in with her daily until she was satisfied they were readjusting.

Readjustment.

That wasn’t what it was at all though.

It was acceptance, and waiting. For Mickey and his sister. They knew that someday they would be able to go back home, and that was the light at the end of this tunnel. In the mean time, Mandy had adopted an attitude similar to Mickey’s.

Put up walls, act as if everything is fine, and do what you have to do.   

Going back to school is rough. It’s an unfamiliar space to Mickey, and he can’t find any of his classes at first. But he keeps going, remembering his promise to Ian whenever he wants to fuck off and look for a dealer to get high from instead.

He texts him all the time too, hoping it will help Ian remember that he’s always thinking about him. That he’d rather be there, or anywhere, as long as he was there too…

Mickey notices about a week into his time in Memphis, but tries to deny it to himself, that Ian’s not answering him all that often anymore.

He’s busy, he tells himself, stop fucking bothering him.

But he jumps like a fucking teenage girl whenever his phone buzzes, snatching it immediately to see if it’s a message from Ian.

Hearing from him is like eating when you’re fucking starving, and that’s what being in Memphis is like. His entire body immediately relaxes and sinks into relief as soon as he does.

But when he doesn’t hear from him, he’s on edge, and it’s all that’s on his mind.

Camille and Rob try to talk to him about his rapidly upcoming 18th birthday, but he shrugs every time they ask him what he would like to do, feeling more and more distant from Ian.

He can’t do what he’d like to do, and that’s pretty fucking obvious. He wants to go home.

Eventually he just grunts, “Cake”, so they’ll shut the fuck up already.

It doesn’t hit him what he really wants until he’s walking home from school one day, and he sees a gangly teenager get out of a car parked on the street ahead of him.

All he sees is the back of a red head, and he feels himself yelling out, “IAN!” Before he can stop himself.The boy turns around, an unfamiliar face, and Mickey reddens.

Of course it wasn’t him. Fucking idiot. Ian being here would be too good to be true.

Ian being here…

Mickey tries getting a hold of him multiple times that night with his idea, but he never texts back, or even picks up his phone.

Mickey’s heart sinks as he leaves message after message, starting to think the worst.

Ian had been harder to get a hold of lately…. But what if something had happened? What if he was hurt?

Mickey watches as the digital clock in his bedroom flashes 12:00 a.m. that night, and glances over at his phone again.

Still nothing.

He was 18 now. He thought he’d feel something when he reached that age, happy, excited, at least more free…but he still feels empty aside from the worry gnawing at his stomach.

He bites his nails and chain-smokes viciously until he finally falls asleep around 4 in the morning.

The sound of his purposely left on full volume ringer makes him jump in the morning because it’s so harsh, and he grabs his phone as soon as he’s aware of what’s going on, fumbling with it for a second before he answers.

“Ian? What the hell is going on? I’ve been fucking worried all goddamn night”.

He sounds like shit as he answers, “I’m so sorry Mick, I crashed last night. Happy Birthday!”

Ian’s tone at the end is a little more enthused, a little lighter, and Mickey feels himself soften, relief flooding through him that at least Ian’s okay. And now he can he tell him about his idea.

Mickey can’t remember the last time he asked for something for his birthday. Maybe because he knew he’d never get it, whatever he asked for. But this year was a little different.

This year Ian Gallagher was in love with him, and all he wanted was him.

“Thanks… and about that, I know it’s hard for you to get time off from work and school, but do you think you could maybe take a bus up for a visit or something? I’m not allowed to travel from Memphis, it’s part of my restrictions for now. But fuck Ian, I’d kill to see you just for an hour even”.

There’s a very long silence, and Mickey waits with his mouth slightly open for a response.

Say something…anything, he thinks, a bitter taste rising in his mouth as the seconds of silence tick by.

“Okay…how about next Sunday? I have it off. It will literally be a couple hours though, it’s like 11 hours each way…”

Mickey lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in in relief. Thank God.

“Yeah, yeah that’d be great! Fuck, I can’t wait to see you”.

Ian answers quietly, “Yeah”.

Mickey feels a little less enthusiastic, and maybe a little bitter as he asks, “You alright Ian? I feel like you’re just sitting there waiting for me to talk lately…phone works two fuckin ways you know. You can call me up anytime”.

He wished Ian would call him first sometimes. Or at least send a text.

It seemed like he was always the one reaching out lately, and honestly it sort of made him feel like shit, like he was bothering Ian or something. Like maybe Ian didn’t miss him all that much.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine, sorry Mick. Um… Mo’s good” Ian says, sounding more reassuring.

Mickey relaxes again, picturing the large black and white dog. “Yeah? I miss him too. Glad you guys can take care of each other while I can’t”.

He laughs somewhat bitterly, but it’s sort of nice, thinking of them together. He misses his dog a lot too.

The fucking cat here was named Frank, if you can believe it. Mickey never told Ian that of course, just referred to the cat as “that fat fuck” whenever it came up in conversation.

It was no substitute for his loyal canine.

“He misses you too” Ian answers.

They keep talking for a while, and Mickey gets more and more excited thinking about Ian’s visit.

After he hangs up the phone, he pumps his first into the air, and that night he eats two slices of the chocolate cake Camille makes for his birthday.

He events compliments her on it.

 

That night is the first time he’s been horny since he’s been here. He doesn’t bug Ian about it, but he scrolls through his phone until he finds a particularly hot photo of him to jerk off to.

It’s good, it’s really good, but it makes him feel lonely.

It’s confusing, being half turned on and half sad. He scrolls through his photos some more until he finds one of Ian kissing him on the lips. Ian had taken the picture.

He bites his lip and keeps going to that picture instead, and he gets close, but he ends up feeling tears pricking the corner of his eyes, so he stops.

God… he can’t wait to see Ian again.

 

_*The Day of Ian’s Visit~ Over 2 ½ weeks since Mickey left for Memphis*_

Mickey paces around the bus station, rocking on his feet and stretching to look over the heads of some taller fuckers standing annoyingly in front of him.

He checks his phone again for a new update from Ian, but there was still only the last one, “ **One hour away** ”.

That was an hour ago.

A new bus pulls into the Greyhound lot after several others, and Mickey glances up at the flashing destination board on it.

‘Chicago’

Fucking finally! Mickey strides over to the opening doors, and the second he sees Ian pass through them, a relief floods through him like no other, and he grabs with him everything he’s fucking got.

He pulls away to look at his face, and an uncontrollable smile forms on his own.

“Fuck man, I missed you so much”.

It feels like an understatement to him, with Ian in front of him, everything else sort of just melts away.

Ian smiles at him, “I missed you too”.

Mickey tips his head as he really takes in his boyfriend’s face after his initial excitement. He looks…not so hot. Not as in he’s not attractive, he always is, but there’s dark circles under his eyes, he looks especially pale, and he’s maybe a little thinner than he was a couple weeks ago.

“You feeling okay?”

Ian smiles again, stretching out his long arms playfully. “Um, yeah, think I just need to walk around for a while. Stiff, been on a fuckin bus for eleven hours, y’know?”

Of course. “Yeah, sure. Come on”.

Mickey leads Ian out of the bus station and down the street, eventually stopping in front of the motel he rented a room in to surprise Ian with. He turns to lift his eyebrows at him suggestively.

Ian looks at him uncertainly, “You wanna get a room? Can’t we just go to your house?”

Mickey shakes his head. “No fuckin privacy. Wouldn’t even be able to hold your hand, and I wanna do more than that. Sides, I already rented a room. Belated birthday present to myself”.

He doesn’t mention that his foster parents don’t know that he’s gay, and there’s still the problem of Mandy being around too. He did tell her Ian was visiting to check out Memphis for a few hours, but he had acted very nonchalant about it.

Mickey shows Ian the key card and grins, and Ian suddenly looks a whole lot lighter. Whatever else was going on, sex would always be an escape for them.

Mickey goes into the room first, and inspects the questionable motel bed while Ian heads into the bathroom to take a piss.

“Would have liked to show you around Memphis a bit, but since you’ve only got like four hours I figured this might be better” Mickey calls out to him, hoping he’s not disappointed.

Ian comes up behind him once he’s done in the bathroom, wrapping his arms around Mickey, who sighs and softens underneath him.

“It’s perfect” he hears Ian say. Mickey pulls away from him to lay on the bed, holding out his arms and saying softly, “C’mere, I just wanna hold you for a while”.

Ian crawls onto the bed next to him and they curl up together, warmth and comfort radiating between them.

Mickey closes his eyes for a moment, pretending they are back in his old bedroom. The musty smell of cigarettes in the motel helps a bit.

Ian says out of the blue, “So, you’re 18 now. How’s it feel?”

“Terrible” Mickey answers truthfully, looking up at the stained ceiling, “Until now”. He looks down at Ian, and presses his lips to him, his eyes closing at the precious touch.

“Tell me about it?” Ian says gently.

Mickey shakes his head through the kiss, mumbling, “I’m not in Memphis right now Ian. I’m in Chicago with you, alright?”

He hopes Ian gets it, before he has to lose the image in his mind by explaining it.

“Okay...we're home" Ian whispers back into his lips.

He gets it.

Mickey deepens the kiss, and then flickers his tongue in against Ian’s, each movement laced with need.

“I missed you so fucking much” he breaths into Ian’s neck, nipping and kissing it as he reaches a hand down to palm at Ian’s dick.

He hasn’t gotten off since he’s arrived in Memphis, well over two weeks ago now, and his body is practically buzzing with a need for release.

Ian responds instantly to his touch, like he’d flicked on a light switch. Electricity burns between them as they both start to struggle to get each other’s clothes off.

“I need you” Ian whispers into his mouth, messily kissing him even as he backs away from him off the bed.

“Where you goin?” Mickey pants back, his body already aching from the loss.

“Shower” Ian answers, pulling away to head towards the bathroom again.

Mickey nods and quickly follows him in, drawn towards the redhead like a magnet.

Both of them jump into the shower before the water’s even hot, so they don't have to wait to come together again.

The water runs like icy rain down their backs as they pant and push against each other, not able to get their hands and mouths on each other enough.

The water turns, and the bathroom fills with steam.

“I fuckin love you” Mickey pants, turning around to give Ian access to his ass. Ian grabs his shoulders, kissing between the blades as he lines himself up, pressing his fingers into Mickey first to hastily stretch him.

Mickey shivers at both that sensation and the whispered feeling of his lips against his back, practically shifting in place as he waits for more from Ian.

Mickey involuntarily lets out a low moan as Ian’s fingers retract, and he hears Ian murmur “I love you too”, right as he pushes back inside of him with his hard cock instead.

All of the nerve endings in Mickey’s entire body spark at the welcome and sorely missed stretch.

_Fuck…yes._

_So fucking good._

Mickey’s hands reach back and try to pull Ian impossibly closer as he fucks him just right, the sounds he hears coming out of himself unreal. His skin jumps at every touch from Ian, and he moans with abandon at each pleasurable thrust.

There’s no buildup for him, the entire experience is orgasmic.

He thinks this is how addicts must feel, getting a hit after they’ve been itching for it.

Mickey had ached for this more than he had known, his entire mind pretty much preoccupied with missing everything else about Ian until now.

After they both finish, they stay in the shower for a while, warm water pouring down over them comfortingly as they press their foreheads together in silence.

The fears Mickey had had about annoying Ian, about Ian wanting space, not wanting him, all of that stupid shit, was gone now.

This, exactly this, was all he would ever need. And he could wait for that, some people would wait a lifetime for something like this.

And he had it right now. So he would enjoy every second of it until he could have it again.

 

_*A Few Hours Later*_

“I wish you could stay longer” Mickey says, studying the bus schedule flashing across the electronic board.

He hears what sounds like a pill bottle snap shut and he glances back at Ian, but he’s just standing there, his eyes looking unbelievably sad as he nods back.

The tortured look makes Mickey uncomfortable, guilty almost, for making him say goodbye again, and he tries to shove it from his mind.

He checks the time on his phone, “You better board Ian. Unless you want to stay here of course, which I’m totally fuckin cool with by the way. Fuck school, and work”.

He’s maybe only half joking. If Ian could stay, he’d willingly stay in Memphis forever.

Ian just shakes his head, “I’ll board. I just want you to know that…I love you. Ok? Don’t forget that”

Mickey smiles at him, pulling him into one last hug goodbye. “I love you too, so much. Thanks for comin out Ian. I know it wasn’t cheap, and it was probably a major pain in the ass, but it means a lot to me”.

It did. It meant everything to him, having this reminder of what he had to hold onto while he was stuck out here, of what he’d eventually have to come back home to.

Ian gives him one last weak smile goodbye before he gets on the bus heading back to Chicago, and he stares through the window at him as he sits down.

Mickey smiles back at him, a warm feeling in his chest.

As sad as he was Ian was leaving, he couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to be alright as long as he could still see him once and a while.

It looks like Ian is about to get up and maybe move seats, but the bus driver closes the doors and Ian sits back down, immediately pulling out his phone.

Mickey watches, still smiling softly to himself as he feels his phone buzz.

Ian’s name flashes across his screen. He grins, expecting some cheesy message about missing him already.

It takes him half a second to absorb what he reads.

“ **I’m really sorry. I can’t do this anymore** ”.

As soon as he does, he looks up at the bus in shock, feeling his mouth fall open as he searches for Ian’s face in the window again.

He sees him, and starts swearing uncontrollably, looking down at his phone in panic as the bus starts to move away from him.

With Ian in it.

_What the fuck? What the fuck! What did he mean he couldn’t do this anymore?_

After all that, he was a fuck and chuck?

Mickey wishes he could be strong, and take the blow with dignity, but he can’t. He can’t let himself be dumped like this.

He immediately calls Ian, trying not to cry into the phone like some bitch as he stares at the back of the Greyhound bus.

 “Don’t do this” Mickey begs as soon as Ian answers. He can barely see him anymore, as the bus gets farther and farther away.

“I have to Mick.  _I’m so fucking sorry_ ”.

He has to? He has to say goodbye?

Mickey huffs into the phone. “That’s it huh? You really gonna fucking do this?” His voice cracks and he hates himself for it.

He hates the way he presses his ear to his phone, praying to hear, “ _No…I changed my mind. I didn’t mean it_ ”.

Please say no. _Please say no._

“Yeah”.

Mickey doesn’t know what to think. He wants to argue, but all he can picture is the tortured look on Ian’s face as he said goodbye.

“So what, you want me to just fuck off?”

Ian practically stutters out his excuses “I…think it will be better if… look, this isn’t how I wanted to do this, and it wasn’t really planned... but isn’t it better at least that I came to say goodbye in person?"

Mickey can’t take anymore.

“Fuck you Ian”.

He hangs up the phone and smashes it into the cement at his feet. But then he stands there and waits, for hours, for what he doesn’t know.

For that bus to turn around maybe.

When he finally goes back to Rob and Camille’s house, Mandy and them are in the living room, and Mandy has this strange grin on her face until she sees the look on his, and he hurries up to his room, slamming the door shut.

He paces angrily for a moment, before slamming his fist through the wall a few seconds later.

He watches the orange crumble around his fist until his eyes blur, and he hears someone yank the bedroom door open and approach him.

“Mickey, what happened?”

Rob’s voice.

Mickey doesn’t answer, breathing out so heavily his lungs shake.

“Listen, I don’t know what happened, but you need to calm down, okay? Remember your probation rules”.

Probation rules? How could they matter anymore? He didn’t have anything to go home to anymore.

Mickey heaves a sob, smashing his head into the wall next.

He feels Rob grabbing him by the shoulders roughly a second later, and pulling him back, constricting him in a half hug, half restraint.

“Mandy told us you went to see your friend from Chicago, that someone was visiting today. Was it your girlfriend? Did you get some bad news from back home?” he asks, as Mickey struggles against him.

He was about to smash his head back into Rob’s face to get him to let go, but he stops when he hears that.

He wrenches himself free to turn around and stare the man down, his eyes flaming as he whispers harshly, “I’m fucking gay. Okay?! I’m _gay_. Kick me out, fuck me up, I don’t give a shit anymore”. He throws his arms up to emphasize his point.

Rob looks at him in surprise, lowering his tone to match Mickey’s.

 “Your file didn’t say…but, it doesn’t matter to us. Hell, our next-door neighbors are gay. Why would you say that?”

Mickey stares at him, his nostrils flaring as he breathes out heavily. There’s a lot he could say, a lot he could explain.

But he doesn’t want to explain any of it.

“Nobody can know” he hears himself saying, numbly. His lack of control over his emotions drives him crazy, and he’s tempted to punch the wall again, but Rob stops his pending strike by grabbing his wrist.

“Stop”.

“He fucking… he left me” Mickey whispers, looking down at his shaking hands in disbelief.

It was over.

Him and Ian were over.

 

(The Connolly's House- Mickey's room is the one with the large window over the attached garage)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found this song, interestingly enough after I wrote this chapter, and it fits it pretty well. 
> 
> KNOCKOUT  
> "Leaving Chicago"  
> ‘Sometimes I feel like leaving, forgetting all these feelings. Let me start over in a better place. It's raining, I'm staying, wish I could stop complaining, but now I'm stuck and I just can't move on. I don't think that this will work out on its own. Times are hard when you just sit there all alone. Now that I'm getting older, no chance of starting over. I think too much about the times I've lost. Maybe I should realize that there is more to this life. Until then it's just me and apathy. I gotta get out, gotta get away from this. Something's keeping me from leaving. There's nothing left for me here’
> 
> Will try and get part 2 up sometime in the next couple days.


	57. That Someone (Mickey in Memphis Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey struggles with the heartbreak of losing Ian, but gets surprising news in August.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of who you saw my last update before it was deleted, the issue has been resolved. Me and the writer are cool now. I know we have some mutual readers so if they decide to post again please don’t bring it up. Us Gallavich fans/writers should stick together :) Also I didn’t ask for the story to come down, and I’m sad to see it removed, but the writer has decided to take a break. 
> 
> Sorry again for the time this update took, been super busy. Also I’ve never been to Memphis so I apologize if the details are a little lacking. (Note: MATA is the Memphis public transport system)  
> Ian’s chapters regarding this time are chapter 42/43

Time seems to stand still at first. Mickey walks around stunned, like he’s in a daze, for the first few days after Ian breaks up with him.

Numbly, he checks his phone every so often, praying that he’ll see Ian’s name lit up on the screen.

A missed call, a short text, anything. Anything telling him that Ian had changed his mind.

He sits at the dinner table night after night, staring at whatever meal Camille puts down in front of him, unable to stomach anything.

As the days go by, he notices the worry starting to crease across her and Rob’s face, and then even Mandy’s.

So after several days in limbo, he sits down at the table one night, and mechanically puts forkful after forkful of food into his mouth, noticing how visibly relieved they all are as he does. He’s not used to people caring that much.

Mickey has never been so passive and docile in his entire life as he was those first few days, but it doesn’t last long.

As soon as the shock wears off, he starts going through cycles of rage, where his bedroom walls take a beating and only Rob comes near him, and then cycles of being miserable, where all of them walk on eggshells around his closed bedroom door.

During both cycles, Mickey lays in his big empty bed at night looking at pictures of him and Ian together, looking for the missed warning signs.

Why he didn’t he see it? Why didn’t he see this fucking coming?

What shocked him the most was how it turned out that he needed Ian much more than Ian needed him.

He never thought anyone would ever have this sort of affect on him, saturating his life so deeply that he didn’t know how to fucking function without them.

Mickey Milkovich was not someone who needed anyone. Or at least that’s what he always thought.

He jams his face into his pillow so no one hears him crying like a bitch at night, his breath at first always hitching louder than he can control.

But as time goes on, the cycles slow, and then stop.

He’s still heartbroken, but his tears fall silently now, and less often, as he resigns himself to his new situation. Because what else can he fucking do?

Ian doesn’t want him anymore. And can Mickey even blame him?

He had failed him. He had fucked up, ever getting involved with his dad’s shit.

And now he was paying the ultimate price for it.

A life far away from everything he had ever known, a life without Ian.

 

***Early June***

_“I’ll remember your heart. Warmer than the sun, taught me how to love. Hold my hand, hold my hand when I need you. I just close my eyes and I can see you-“_

“Can you turn that shit off?” Mickey grunts, sorely fucking tempted to throw something at the cheap radio perched on top of Rob’s construction table.

Rob rolls out from underneath the dented car he’s working on, raising his eyebrows at him. “You can’t get up and do it yourself?”

_“For the rest of my life, I'll reminisce of you. Why'd you leave so soon-“_

Rob blinks as he hears the song playing on the radio and quickly gets up, shutting it off without making another comment.

He was smart enough to know that ‘he didn’t know anything’ after Mickey had announced to him in private right after Ian had broken up with him that he was gay, and that he had lost his boyfriend.

It was a moment of fucked up emotional weakness for Mickey, and one that he deeply regretted.

Ever since then he’d been on edge constantly, until he finally realized Rob wouldn’t try and force him to talk about it. Even though it had happened well over a month ago, he still didn’t want to talk about it.

He didn’t even want to think about it.

He’s currently sitting on the floor of Rob’s garage, smoking a cigarette and passively watching as Rob goes back to working on the dented vehicle in front of him. He does modifications and vehicle repairs as a hobby, but his full-time job is being a cop.

Mickey never thought he’d meet a pig that he didn’t mind spending time around.

Camille’s nice enough too, but while Mandy spends most of her time around her, Mickey prefers Rob’s more cool and collected masculine company. It helps keep him grounded.

He’s assuming that’s why him and Mandy were paired with these two anyways.

Their checkered pasts and their success stories were supposed to inspire them or some shit, in the foster agency’s mind. But Rob and Camille never treated them like they had anything to change about themselves, just invited them into their lives and showed them how they did things.

It was an interesting dynamic, that was for fucking sure, two pairs of siblings living like this.

Mickey and Mandy never talked about it, but they both knew now that they _were_ lucky to get paired with these two, being in their situation.

Mickey himself was under no illusion that anyone else even half as decent would want to take them in, an eighteen and a sixteen-year-old with issues and a history like theirs.

It could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse.

The next time Rob invites Mickey to hang out with him while he works in his garage, there’s a motorcycle in really rough shape propped up in there, his previous project sold and gone.

“The fuck is someone getting that fixed for?” Mickey asks, biting his lip as he looks at it.

It looks beyond fixable. He takes his usual spot on the concrete ground and taps a cigarette out of his packet of Marlboro’s.

Rob crouches down beside the Enduro, answering thoughtfully. “I bought it, actually. Needs a lot of work done. But I was thinking you might like to have it, as a belated birthday present”.

Mickey’s interest is caught, but he sniffs as if he doesn’t care.

“Looks like a piece of shit” he says around his cigarette.

“It’s a little broken down, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be repaired” Rob says, laughing softly as he inspects the breaks.

“Fix it and I’ll think about it” Mickey answers, ignoring his philosophical shit.

Rob shakes his head, “Nah. You’re fixing it. Don’t waste both of our times pretending you aren’t interested in having it either”.

Fuck this guy was annoying sometimes. Still, he _did_ want it.

Mickey gives in, standing and brushing his hands off on his torn jeans.

“Yeah, yeah. You gonna keep talking or are you gonna shut the fuck up and show me how to fix it?”

 

***Late June***

Mickey reluctantly follows Camille and Rob over to their next-door neighbor’s backyard barbeque. They’d all been invited over to celebrate the end of the school year, which somehow, Mickey had managed to get through.

He’s enticed only by the promise of grilled steak, whereas Mandy is happy to go just to gawk at Jeff and Louis.

They’re both hot, whatever, Mickey can admit that. To himself. Mandy can go fuck herself.

He’s not sure why she says shit like that to him sometimes, stuff about guys being hot. Like he’s some fag.

Which he _is_ , but she doesn’t fucking know that.

He settles for giving her dirty looks whenever she makes her little comments, as well as telling her to find someone else to talk to, someone who gives a flying fuck.

He’d met Jeff and Louis before in passing, realizing very quickly that they were the gay neighbors Rob had referred to in the past.

What had surprised him was the fact that they had a kid. She looked maybe six or seven, and her name was Melissa.

He sees her zooming around the backyard as soon as they arrive, and once Rob takes over at the grill Jeff and Louis join her in her game.

Mickey takes a beer from the cooler by the patio and eases onto one of the lawn chairs towards the back of the property, watching them all play together out of the corner of his eye.

He had mixed feelings towards Louis and Jeff. Some annoyance about how fucking freely they live their lives together, some jealousy that they can.

Some sadness as he thinks about who he’d like to be here with right now.

Mickey had been determined to leave Ian alone, to barely even think of him since that day at the Greyhound bus station.

He’d excelled at the first part of his plan, but was failing miserably at the second. He wasn’t blind…he could see Ian was struggling when he had visited.

The idea that _he_ was making him feel that way was brutal, and it made it a lot easier to fight the urge to text or call him. Because he would never want to hurt Ian.

But not thinking about him…that was impossible.

Mickey gazes across the backyard, to where Jeff is now tossing Melissa in the air playfully, and he squeezes his eyes shut, gritting his teeth to force away the image forming in his head of him and Ian having some stupid fucking barbeque like this with their kids some day.

“Hey”.

Mickey opens his eyes to see Louis sitting down next to him, offering him a fresh beer.

Mickey relaxes and takes it wordlessly, setting his empty bottle down beside his chair in the grass. “How do you take your steak?” Louis asks, cracking open his own beer.

“Bloody” Mickey answers, scratching the back of his neck.

Seeing Louis isn’t getting up to leave right away, he decides to ask as casually as he can.

“So, is Melissa like your kid, or Jeff’s?”

“She’s both of ours” Louis answers, laughing, “We’re together”.

“Yeah no shit. Not fucking blind. I just meant like, how did…you get her?” Mickey takes a gulp of his beer, hoping he doesn’t sounds stupid, or like he really cares. He doesn’t.

Louis nods, “Oh, I get what you mean. We had a surrogate. Jeff is her biological father”.

“That doesn’t bother you? That she’s not both of yours?” Mickey asks, now noticing the physical similarities between Jeff and the little girl.

The other man shrugs. “No. I mean, in an ideal world she’d be half mine and half Jeff’s, but as soon as I held her in my arms, it didn’t really matter anymore. She was ours”.

Mickey nods, taking a cigarette out of his pocket as Louis gets up to leave to help Jeff put together some plates.

He wasn’t sure why he was even asking about this shit. Not like he was ever gonna have kids.

The only kid he’d ever even liked was Liam, and maybe that was because him and Ian usually took care of him together…

The thought makes him uncomfortable, and sad as hell for some reason, so he quickly pushes it away.

 

***July***

Taking the MATA down to Beale Street was not Mickey’s idea of a perfect Saturday night, even though it probably should be.

Beale Street was sort of a tourist destination in Memphis, but the locals love it as well. It’s a downtown hotspot, filled with music, neon signs, bars and attractions.

It’s where everyone else his age is happily going tonight.

Mickey himself is only going because Mandy had bitched at and then teased him mercilessly for barely leaving the house, which was true.

And he could use a drink.

Maybe being around other people would help him get his mind off of Ian for a bit too. That would be a welcome fucking distraction.

He thought things would get better over time, easier. But they never did.

He missed Ian each day just as much as he had the day before.

Mandy and Mickey get off the Memphis city bus and walk down the crowded street to the bar where her friends had agreed to meet them.

Finishing the school year had been less difficult for Mandy than him.

While he had struggled with mood swings, and barely scraping by with a pass, she apparently had the time to make friends.

Not that he was the type to go and look for fuckin friends anyways, who needs that shit? He’d been happy with having just one best friend, who had also happened to be his boyfriend.

“Mands!”

They both turn towards the sound of the high pitched female voice, and while Mandy takes turns giving a hug to each one of her new friends, Mickey hangs back and does an awkward wave with a jerk of his hand.

Fuck. He feels like a fucking loser standing here, tagging along with his sister and her friends.

This was a bad idea. He already wants to turn around and go home.

Mandy must have noticed the look on his face, because she grabs him by the wrist, and yanks him inside with her friends, not allowing him to take off.

Mickey frowns but gives in, and sits down at the bar between her and her friend Angela, who tries talking to him about some club she went to last night.

He couldn’t give two shits about DJ this or that, but he nods his head to her story out of politeness, for Mandy’s sake, as he skips beer and goes straight for whiskey instead.

Eventually Angela gives up on trying to talk to him as he gives all of his attention to his drinks, and they all head over towards the pool table without him.

Mickey had declined his invite to join, ignoring Mandy’s look of reproach, and instead ordered another drink.

Now sitting at the bar alone, he takes a gulp of it and grimaces, pulling out his phone.

He finds himself opening his photo album and pulling up a picture of himself and Ian taken around Christmas, almost mechanically.

He stares at it for a long moment, touching Ian’s face on the screen just briefly before he forces himself to put his phone away again.

“Fuck” he mumbles, pressing his hand into his forehead. He feels a slight headache coming on from downing too many drinks too fast, and he edges off his stool to go find the bathroom and splash some cold water on his face.

Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom a few minutes later, he takes in his expression in the mirror. It’s not great.

He tries to wipe off the slightly sad expression on his face with something more aggressive, or at least more neutral.

“Hey”.

Mickey turns towards to the guy who had just come into the bathroom.

“Hey?” he answers, frowning as he quickly moves his arms off the sink, trying to appear as if he wasn’t just having an vulnerable movement.

Who the fuck tries to make conversation in a bathroom anyways?                                                         

The guy doesn’t make a move towards any of the bathroom stalls or even the urinals.

“You uh, down to have some fun?” he asks bluntly, making it clear he’s not here to take a piss. Mickey’s eyes widen at the bold question, and he turns with his eyebrows sharply raised.

“The fuck did you just say to me?”

The other boy holds up his hands in innocence at his aggressive response.

“Listen dude, I saw you in the bar a few minutes ago. Looking at that pic on your phone. You and your ex, right? I just got dumped too…”

Noticing his mouth is hanging open a bit, Mickey shuts it and continues to stare at him aggressively, not sure what to say. He feels like he got caught in a very private moment, one that he hadn’t been aware of having an audience for.

The guy continues, and as he talks Mickey’s eyes run over him.

He’s attractive, no doubt about that. Taller and pretty buff too… fuck he’s drunker than he thought.

“All I’m saying is, I could help make you feel better. Take your mind off it for a bit. God knows I could use a break from thinking about my ex”.

The blond laughs and runs his hand through his hair. Normally Mickey would tell any asshole like this to fuck off, even before he’d been with Ian. But tonight, he’s a little lost… and a little drunk.

Still, he finds himself looking away.

“I don’t think you can”.

He watches from the corner of his eye as the other guy approaches anyways, noticing as he gets closer the boy is around his age.

Mickey doesn’t move away, and instead feels his body turning towards him, aching from loneliness and want.

“Let me try?” the blond says softly.

Mickey looks back up, feeling defeated, and as the other boy presses his lips against his, backing him up against the bathroom wall, he doesn’t stop him.

He feels a hot tongue pressing against his urgently, and he pushes back with his own, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

Ian. _Ian…_

There’s nothing he’d love more than to forget. Even for just one night.

But as the other boy starts to reach down and grope for his dick, pressing his own hard on against Mickey’s leg, he accepts that he’s picturing Ian right now.

He’s pretending this guy is Ian.

It makes him feel sick.

Mickey shakes his head violently and pushes the other boy off, who seems to think he’s just pushing him away passionately to get undressed, as the blond starts to undo his own jeans.

“No” Mickey says, and then seeing he’s not understanding what he means, “Cut it the fuck out alright? Not gonna happen. I’m not…”

The guy is clearly offended as soon as he realizes Mickey is rejecting him, and Mickey knows he should just brush off what he says next, but he can’t.

The blond zips up his jeans, his tone no longer soft or comforting. “The guy is a fucking idiot! Forget about him. You deserve someone who’s gonna make you feel right, treat you good, I know because-“

Mickey’s fist slams into his nose a second later.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” Mickey hisses, watching the blood drip down onto his shirt, “You don’t know Ian, and you sure as hell don’t know me”.

The blond clutches his nose, looking at him in shock, “Fuck you, you fucking psycho! No wonder he dumped you!”

He spits before he hurries out of the bathroom, leaving Mickey panting there angrily.

Mickey presses his tattooed fingers into his eyes, willing himself not to lose control. He stumbles out of the bathroom a few moments later and hurries out of the bar and onto the street, not stopping to tell Mandy he’s leaving.

He wanders past the neon lights and the Saturday night bar hoppers, the happy couples, and the groups of friends, completely alone.

He walks until he’s lost, far away from the extravagant lights and music on Beale street.

A sign tells him he’s at Wolf River Harbourfront, but those words don’t mean much to him. He’s not from here. He just feels drawn to the water because it reminds him of the Chicago harbourfront back home.

“ _No wonder he dumped you_ ” rings through his head on repeat, making his heart throb.

Mickey sits by the water and gazes down at his ashen reflection as he lights a cigarette.

_He’s never going to get over him, is he?_

It’s only been a few months since Ian had ended things, but something deep inside tells him this is not a temporary feeling.

This ache is not going to go away, no matter what he does.

Mickey blows cigarette smoke out the side of his mouth, looking away from his reflection and out over the water, at the rapidly blurring warm white lights twinkling across the nearby bridge.

“Fuck I miss you” he whispers.

 

***Early August***

“Is Rob in?” Mickey asks, looking sideways at the cop sitting at the front desk. No matter how many times he’d been around the station where his step parent worked, Rob was still the only cop Mickey really trusted.

He’d come a long way though, since moving to Memphis.

Back in Chicago, he was very much ‘known to the police’. And not in a good way either.

Here in Memphis, even with his questionable tattoos, he was just Office Connolly’s foster kid.

It was a bit of a breath of fresh air, not having everyone tense up when he walked into a room.

“Yeah, hold on Mickey”.

Officer Bovay pages Rob, who comes out from the back of the station a few minutes later.

“Hey Mickey, what’s up?” Rob asks, looking at him curiously. He didn’t usually come into the station of his own volition. He was too excited to keep this to himself though.

“Wanna show you something” Mickey answers, heading back outside. He waits beside the parked motorcycle proudly until Rob comes out and nods at it, clearly impressed.

“You finally got it running, nice job. Course, legally you can’t drive it home unless you have a helmet. I could even charge you for driving here without one” Rob says, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

Mickey shakes his head and laughs, brushing away his hand. “Fuck off”.

“Seriously though, you can’t drive it home. Hang out here for a while, my shift’s done in two hours. I’ll take you to get a helmet after” Rob says, looking at him intently. He’s not gonna let this one go.

Mickey stares at him, finally sighing and giving in. Knew he fucking should’ve just ridden it back home. 

The dispatch radio strapped to Rob’s waist suddenly goes off, “ _Officer Connolly please dispatch to Adelaide and Forest Drive. Public disturbance reported among three youths, medium priority_ ”.

Rob tips his head at Mickey, walking across the small parking lot as he does.

“C’mon. We gotta go”.

“You want me to fucking come with you?” Mickey asks in disbelief, following him over to the police car.

Automatically he goes towards the back door at first, but he catches himself and gets in the passenger side instead.

“Yeah why not? Ride along. It’s a learning experience” Rob says, laughing slightly as they pull out of the parking lot, “Seatbelt”.

They drive along for a while before Mickey finally comments, “Never been in the front before”.

“Most people haven’t. Hey, you ever think about being an officer after highschool?” Rob asks.

Focusing on the road, he misses Mickey’s look of incredulity.

“Ha. Hi-larious” Mickey drawls, resting his arm on the window as they pull up in front of the ‘public disturbance’. It’s two younger teenagers beating on a third, who’s already on the ground.

Mickey watches from the car as Rob immediately gets out, quickly separating them and giving them a stern lecture for the next ten minutes or so. The kid that been on the ground is allowed to leave and he runs down the road towards his house in relief.

Seems like Rob knows the two troublemakers from previous altercations, and Mickey hears him finally let them off with a strict warning, letting them know he’ll back if the kid’s parents decide to press charges.

“That was fucked up” Mickey says as Rob gets back into the police car, “Two on one like that. But maybe he deserved it”.

He thinks of the few occasions he’d teamed up on a victim before out of necessity. From this angle though, it doesn’t look so good.

“No, he didn’t. He’s a good kid” Rob answers, “And I wasn’t joking about earlier. People like us, we already know the system Mickey. And we know what it’s like to be the people you get calls about”.

“Dude, I don’t know what you’re fucking talking about. I’ll be lucky if I finish highschool” Mickey says in annoyance, before remembering his exact situation here.

The rules of his probation.

“You will finish, and you will start thinking about your future career” Rob says firmly, “And you can look into whatever you’d like next year, it was just a suggestion”.

Mickey shrugs passively and Rob drops the subject, instead eyeing the car in the lane next to them, checking the license plate.

Officer Milkovich.

Mickey laughs to himself as he lights a cigarette, flipping Rob off as he turns and raises his eyebrow at him, but he leans and blows his smoke out the cruiser’s window anyways.

When they get home a few hours later, there’s a strange and nervous energy in the house that Mickey picks up on the very second he walks inside.

It’s the feeling he used to get when he’d come home right after Terry had gone on a rampage, and Mandy was waiting out the storm.

Mickey spots Camille and Mandy sitting in the living room, when normally she’d be out with friends or holed up in her room around this time of day. He frowns.

“Rob, can you come in here?” Camille calls out, “Mickey, you too”.

As he sits down on the couch beside Mandy, Mickey wonders what the fuck is going on.

He feels a strange sense of déjà vu sitting on the couch like this, it reminds him of his first night here.

“We got the letter Rob, and the phone call” Camille says, addressing her brother quietly. She hands a piece of paper over to him, and Robs face falls slightly as he reads it.

“What fucking letter?” Mickey says, tempted to snatch it out of his hands.

Rob looks up at both of them slowly and sighs, “Listen guys. We fucked up not telling you about this earlier, but we really didn’t think it would go through”.

“What wouldn’t go through?” Mandy demands, Mickey nodding in agreement.

He feels more agitated suddenly, picking up on their foster parent’s moods.

“Your dad got out of jail a few weeks ago, and he began filing for custody. It went through” Rob says.

Camille adds a little more quietly, “You guys have to go back home. On Thursday”.

Mickey’s heart feels like it’s in his throat, his immediate reaction being joy. But then fear quickly creeps in, and then anger, and then who the fuck knows what else.

He doesn’t know how to fucking feel.

First off, he can go home, and see Ian again. He’s pretty sure Ian only ended things because he was supposed to be stuck in Memphis for the next three years, but what if Ian doesn’t want to see him again?

And why the fuck did Terry do that anyways, file for custody back? His ingrained but fucked up sense of loyalty to his family had gone out the window as soon as he threw Mickey under the bus after his arrest.

And clearly, Rob and Camille aren’t too thrilled with this outcome.

Mickey is a bundle of nerves for the rest of the night, and he sits up in his bedroom, leaning out his bedroom window and smoking his fifth cigarette in an hour.

He hears a knock at his door.

“Ya” he calls out, thinking it’s Mandy.

It’s Rob.

“Hey, how you feelin?”

Rob doesn’t mention the fact that Mickey is breaking one of their few rules to not smoke inside the house.

Mickey shrugs, “I don’t fucking know” he answers honestly.

Rob nods, looking like he wants to say more.

“Spit it out” Mickey says, not in a particularly patient mood. He had wanted to text or call Ian right away, telling him he was coming home, but he’d held himself back. 

He’s pretty sure they will find a way to fix things. They’re Mickey and Ian. It’s what they do. But just in case, he tries to stop his thoughts from running away with him. It’s not safe to hope for too much yet.

Rob clears his throat, “Listen, I don’t know how’d you feel about this, but you’re 18 now. You could…if you wanted to…well I’m trying to say that we’d be happy to have you stay”.

Mickey lets out his breath. He hadn’t been expecting that.

He butts out his cigarette and turns around to look at Rob, feeling slightly guilty.

“I’m sorry man but I want to go home. And I could never let Mandy go without me anyways”.

Rob nods his head again, “That’s what we figured, me and Camille. Just thought we’d offer anyways. Well…have a good night, see you tomorrow bud”.

Mickey watches him leave his room, his heart thudding in his chest.

He couldn’t believe they actually wanted him to stay.

But more than that, as he looks around the warm orange walls in his room, he finally allows himself to openly think about Ian.

Fuck, he missed him. He can’t fucking wait to see him again.

 

***Thursday***

Saying goodbye to Camille and Rob hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world, and Mickey never even thought he’d be part of a foster family he’d actually even care to say goodbye to.

But he did care.

Before he’d left, Rob had pulled him aside to talk to him in private, and Mickey had allowed Rob to give him a hug goodbye.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for back home” he says quietly, patting Mickey firmly on the shoulder as they pull apart.

“It’s him man. He’s all I want” Mickey answers, finally addressing what he knows Rob is really talking about.

The other man nods, “I know. Good luck”.

Mickey doesn’t eat or even get out of their new social worker’s van on the way back to Chicago, the same as he had done when he was leaving home, because he’s nervous as hell, thinking of what he’ll even say to Ian.

He tries to just sleep during the trip to make it go faster, but he can’t keep his eyes closed, so he sits there with his headphones in instead, indulging himself by listening to every single song that reminds him of Ian.

When they get home very late that night, Terry doesn’t even try to pretend he’s happy to see them.

He just grunts a hello from his place by the tv, and Mickey and Mandy bring their stuff back into their bedrooms.

It’s well past midnight, but Mickey immediately goes back outside without unpacking and picks up the motorcycle he’d dumped on the Milkovich front lawn after unloading it from the back of the van.

He drives all the way to the Gallaghers house without a thought in his head, it’s almost automatic for him to go there, but once he arrives his mind explodes with nagging worries.

What the fuck is he even supposed to say, he wonders, as he kills his engine in front of the house.

Ian had left him, not the other way around.

But maybe there’s not much to say. Maybe they just need to see each other again.

Mickey looks up at the quiet and dark Gallagher house, at Ian’s bedroom window.

He’s sleeping just inside there, so close… every part of Mickey wants to shout, tell Ian to come outside and love him again.

But he can’t.

He’s not sure how long he sits out there on his bike, looking up and thinking, wishing and waiting.

But this isn’t how he wants to fucking do this, calling or texting Ian and hoping he wakes up and comes outside.

Mickey revs his engine back to life and drives back home, taking the long route to put off seeing his dad again for as long as possible.  

Tomorrow. He’ll see Ian tomorrow.

He drives towards the Gallagher house with conviction the next day, determined to lay his cards out on the table. He’s home now, and he won’t let him down again.

Mickey thinks of what he’ll tell Ian, ‘ _I thought about you every day’…’I missed you so fucking much_ …’

Nearing Ian’s street, he slows his bike a bit as he sees two guys walking on the sidewalk ahead of him, his attention caught by the back of one of their heads.

Red hair. That warm and comforting orange he’d missed so much.

_Ian._

He nears the two boys, drawn towards Ian like a magnet, but his heart slams against his chest once he sees Ian laughing with the boy he’s walking next to, and who it is.

Bradley Henderson. The only openly gay kid in their entire school.

Fuck. _Fuck!_

Mickey immediately turns his motorcycle around and quickly drives away, the engine roaring as he speeds down the street away from what he’d just seen.

Everything he had wanted to say to Ian had immediately died in his throat as soon as he saw him laughing with Bradley.

He was too late. Too fucking late…Ian had moved on in just a few fucking months.

He’d been in Memphis, crying like a bitch over him, and Ian had been back home fucking someone else.

He’s done. Fucking done.

Or so he thinks.

Mickey is driving around on his motorcycle aimlessly the next day, for so long that he finally gives up and puts gloves on his wind-whipped hands, when he sees a familiar redhead walking down the sidewalk again, alone this time.

He can’t stay away.

He wants to, but he fucking can’t. He’s dying to see Ian again, so he drives right up to him, his blue eyes wide and sad behind the safety of his darkened visor.

So close…he wants to jump off his bike and just grab Ian, pull him into a hug and tell him how much he fucking missed him…how much he still needs him.

He’s about to when Ian turns and glares at him, noticing how close he is to the sidewalk.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Ian demands, “Fuck off”.

Mickey knows that Ian doesn’t recognize him underneath the darkened helmet, but he still feels like those words are exactly what Ian would say to him if he knew it was him, now that he’s moved on.

Mickey’s face burns red and his eyes sting, and he’s glad Ian can’t see his face. He’s glad Ian doesn’t know it’s him.

He grips his hands tighter on the handles of his motorcycle, and drives away, doing exactly what Ian said to.

He’ll fuck off. Just like he told Ian he would back when he had dumped him in Memphis.

Part of him wishes he never left Tennessee now. Being here, seeing Ian with someone else, especially during school in September, would fucking kill him.

Mickey goes home and holes himself up in his room, destroying his walls with graffiti and blaring angry music.  

Hours later, his phone goes off, and he reads a text from Mandy that makes his heart beat faster in his chest.

“ **Hey…I just saw Ian at Kim’s party. He’s not okay right now. He needs someone”.**

Even just seeing his name was setting him off. Mickey sniffs, rereading the message twice before he answers.

“ **K** ” he texts back.

She answers immediately. “ **Mickey, go. Before he takes off.** ”

“Fuck” he whispers, rubbing his hands into his burning eyes.

Mickey goes outside and gets on his motorcycle, revving the engine.

As he drives out into the night, he’s determined to find Ian.

It doesn’t matter if Ian’s with someone else.

He might not love Mickey anymore, but Mickey still fucking loves him.

And if he needed someone… he’d be that someone.

 

 

‘ _And I never felt peace like that, it was safety as I'd never known. Oh, I knew nothing, I was sick, and I don't blame a thing that you did. It doesn't have to hurt anymore. No, it doesn't have to hurt anymore._

_Got a picture of the look when I knew I'd lost you. And I know when you feel trapped, you're gonna do what you have to. You see the problem was us. Tried to bend love to the picture we had in our heads._

_Oh, that's not nothing, but there it is, and it won't kill us breathing it in. It doesn't have to hurt anymore  
No, it doesn't have to hurt anymore.’_

_~The End is Beautiful_ (This song reminds me of Mickey forgiving Ian for giving up on him while he was in Memphis)

 (Mickey's Enduro)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Mickey’s time in Memphis to be a learning/growing experience for him as much as it was difficult at the same time. I think for him and Ian to have the future I want them to in this fic, they needed time apart to firstly realize how much they truly meant to each other, and secondly to allow Mickey specifically to change his way of thought towards himself a little. Of course, self esteem isn’t a simple thing but it’s a good step in the right direction, that he lived in a good environment for a while :) Hope I didn’t disappoint with this depiction of his time in Memphis. <3 The next chapter will jump back to their current time, in August, a few chapters after their reunion.


	58. Coffee and Cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Again, this takes place in August after they have reunited and moved forward* :) Technically, it comes after chapter 55
> 
> Mickey and Ian have a close call when they are messing around in the shower.

Ian stretches out across Mickey’s bed when he wakes up in the morning, realizing he’s extended his long arms out just a bit too far when his hand hits Mickey in the face.

“ _Jesus Christ_ ” Mickey grumbles as he wakes up instantly, shoving his hand away in annoyance. Ian stifles a laugh as he looks over at his boyfriends scrunched up face.

He’s fucking adorable when he’s irritated over something stupid.

Mickey opens one eye and trains it on him, “I’m trying to fucking sleep. Quit fucking giggling”.

With a shake of his ginger head, Ian crawls over to him and sits on top of him, resting his legs on either side of Mickey’s waist. He’s clearly already awake anyways, why not take advantage of it?

“I don’t want to sleep anymore”.

“You’re like a fucking five-year-old sometime, you know that?” Mickey says admonishingly, even as he moves his hands to grip Ian’s ass and take a squeeze.

“Pffft” Ian answers, humping his stomach teasingly.

“Alright, alright. I’m getting up. Jesus” Mickey groans, but there’s an undeniable smile on his face as he motions for Ian to move.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Ian asks, as he climbs off his boyfriend.

Mickey rubs his eyes with his hands, letting out a big yawn. “Coffee and a cigarette”.

“Oh that’s real fuckin healthy” Ian answers sarcastically, rolling his own.

“Perfect start to the morning. Shower with you wouldn’t hurt either” Mickey says with a suggestive twitch of his eyebrow.

Actually, that does sound pretty perfect.

“I’ll put on the coffee” Ian offers, noticing Mickey smile in amusement at how quickly he gives in.

He smacks his boyfriend’s firm ass as they both get up and head to different rooms of the house, Mickey heading to the bathroom for his morning constitutional before he does anything else.

Yanking open the cupboard he now well knows the Milkovich’s always keep their coffee grounds in, Ian hums to himself happily as he sets up the old coffee maker.

The pot gurgles and then groans when it’s done, and Ian pours out two steaming cups of coffee. He leaves enough in the pot for whenever Mandy decides to surface from her bedroom as well.

“Porch” he calls out to Mickey, before he carries the mugs outside, letting the front door bang shut behind himself.

Mickey joins him a few minutes later on the front steps, and looks him up and down appreciatively as he takes the cup of coffee Ian’s holding out to him.

They sip at their morning coffees and smoke their cigarettes contentedly, enjoying each other’s company as the morning sun begins to heat up the sidewalk in front of them.

“Good coffee” Mickey comments after a few quiet minutes, raising his eyebrows as he lifts his cup to his mouth again.

“You bought it” Ian answers in amusement, butting out his cigarette. His boyfriend’s response is simple.

“I just like how you make it”.

Ian looks over at him. “I love you too” he says thoughtfully.

Mickey blushes slightly and lowers his head, “Mmm. How about that shower though?”

He tips his dark head towards the front door as he stands up, and Ian grins as he follows him, waiting until they are just inside the safety of the house to grab his hand.

He kisses Mickey slowly all the way to the bathroom, backing him through the house carefully until they arrive in the bathroom and he can reach for the shower dial, turning on a stream of hot water that shudders and spits before it steadies.  

Mickey’s mouth tastes like coffee and his Marlboro cigarettes, and Ian savors the taste, letting his tongue explore for more of it as they undress without coming apart, until they absolutely have to, yanking off their shirts last.

Fully stripped just a few seconds later, the two of them climb into the shower together and Mickey pulls the shower curtain shut as the water jets down onto them and sprays erratically off their skin.

They lazily kiss for a while underneath the stream, and as they do Ian’s mind involuntarily flashes back to the one day he had visited Mickey in Memphis.  They hadn’t showered together since then, and he wonders if Mickey is thinking about that day right now too.

He doesn’t seem to be.

Ian looks down through the water falling like rain past his face and sees his boyfriend’s hard on just an inch away from his own.

He seems to be thinking about the right now, and Ian just wants to make him feel good.

Pulling his lips away from Mickey’s softly, Ian slowly lowers himself down to his knees, using his hand to guide Mickey’s hard cock into his mouth.

He already tastes the familiar salty and thick taste on the head of his dick, and he licks the precum up quickly before the water washes it away.

Blowing Mickey is almost like a relaxing routine for him, because he knows how to do it just right, but he keeps it slow for now anyways, not wanting to make him cum too soon.

He glances up at Mickey standing above him, his eyes closed and his lips parted in pleasure as Ian continues to slide his cock up and down in his mouth, sucking his cheeks in for added sensation.

Mickey creases his forehead as Ian moves one hand around Mickey’s thigh and rests it just underneath one of his perfect ass cheeks, gently stroking it with his finger.

Mickey moves to spread his legs slightly in response to the teasing.

Taking his lead, Ian slides his finger up more, carefully probing his asshole before slowly pressing his finger inside of him.

One, and then two fingers, he’s encouraged by the now leaking cock in his mouth.

By the time he reaches the third finger, Mickey moans uncomfortably, now insanely hard inside his mouth as he struggles not to hump into it.

“You’re making me fuckin dizzy” he complains, reaching a hand down into his wet hair for support.

Knowing what he wants, Ian nods and pulls his mouth off his dick, slowly standing back up in the shower.

His knees ache slightly from being pressed into the hard bathtub, but he turns Mickey around and kisses the top of his shoulder without comment before he slowly slides his cock into his tight asshole.

It’s like edging into perfection, and Ian gasps slightly at the initial sensation. Water isn’t the best lube, and he’s sure it’s a bit of a painstaking process at first, but Mickey never complains.

He just rolls his head slightly and leans his hands up against the shower wall, arching his back so Ian can go deeper.

Taking his lead, Ian starts to roll his hips harder, carefully aiming himself inside Mickey to rub against his prostate.

“ _Jesus Christ_ ” Mickey moans, lowering his head between his shoulders in pleasure as Ian hits his mark.

All of a sudden there’s a loud knock on the bathroom door that makes both of them jump, and Ian pulls out so fast that he unintentionally makes Mickey wince in pain.

“Mickey?”

Fuck, fuck!

It’s Terry’s voice!

Ian immediately feels Mickey’s wet hand clamp over his mouth, hard.

“Yeah?” he calls out, his voice hoarse.

“You locked the fucking door, I need to take a piss”.

Ian’s eyes widen as he looks over at Mickey, who looks just as panicked.

“Uh, can’t you use the other one?” He’s looking around the bathroom like he’ll find some sort of solution to his problem hidden here.

“Your sister is in it. Hurry the fuck up you little shit, I need to get going”.

Mickey hesitates for just a second before he very reluctantly climbs out of the shower, and carefully pulls the curtain closed behind himself.

Ian stands there alone, almost trembling as the water continues to run over him. It’s still hot, but it suddenly feels like ice. His heart feels like it’s launched right into his throat as an excess of adrenaline pumps through his veins.

“I’m unlocking it. Just give me a second to get back in the shower” he hears Mickey say firmly.

Ian hears the lock on the bathroom door click next, and half a second later Mickey is scrambling back into the shower with him, his face tense and dark as he looks up at him.

“ _Please don’t make fucking sound_ ” he mouths, putting his hand back over Ian’s mouth and positioning himself in front of him protectively.

Hidden behind the thick shower curtain, they don’t see Terry enter, but they hear him.

He shuffles in towards the toilet, grunting as he unzips his fly and releases his stream into the bowl.

Ian realizes that Mickey is practically shaking, and he reaches out with his own trembling hand and grabs Mickey’s free one, squeezing it tightly between his fingers.

They stay there like that for what feels like forever, but it’s only about a minute.

Terry finally finishes and flushes the toilet, and Mickey shuffles a bit in place to make it sound like he’s actually showering.

“Heading back out. Make sure dinner is ready when I get back tonight” Terry says gruffly as he finally leaves the bathroom.

“Okay” Mickey answers weakly.

They hear the bathroom door shut, and Mickey takes his hand away from Ian’s mouth, flipping off the direction his dad had just left.

“ _Jesus Christ_ ” he whispers. He glances down at Ian.

“You’re still hard?”

“Panic boner” Ian whispers back apologetically.

Mickey shakes his head, “Fuck. Give it ten minutes and I’ll see if he’s gone. Then we’re getting the fuck out of here”.

They both stand there underneath the running water without another word until Mickey finally gets out again to poke his head out the bathroom door.

“Coast is clear” he says a moment later, looking extremely relieved as he pushes the shower curtain away to turn off the water.

They both dry off and get dressed, and sure enough, only Mandy is in the house when they venture out of the bathroom.

She looks close to tears as they head into the kitchen together.

“Oh my god, oh my god. I tried texting you!” she says to her brother, her face creased with worry.

Mickey goes over to her, looking like he wants to pull her into an awkward hug, but he stops himself. “It’s fine, we’re good. I left my phone in my room anyways”.

“You guys need to be more fucking careful” she says, glancing between them, her voice still hushed even though it’s no longer necessary.

Mickey scratches the back of his head, “I wasn’t thinking. I knew he was in town but he said he wouldn’t be back until tonight”.

“Well you can’t take chances like that” Mandy says firmly.

Ian stands there awkwardly as they talk, feeling like it’s his fault for some reason. Maybe because Mickey was only comfortable being who he was around him.

He knew Mickey well enough to know even if they weren’t together, he wouldn’t be bringing any other guy over to his house for a sleepover, or to shower with in the morning, or anything else for that matter.

Ian could be the reason why Mickey receives who the fuck knows what from the wrath of his father, and the thought makes him feel terrible.

“You okay Ian?” Mandy suddenly asks, pulling him from his thoughts.

Mickey looks over at him too and softens at the expression on his face, “Don’t be upset. We’re good, alright? Not your fault either. I know what you’re fucking thinking”.

Ian nods and bites his lip, “Why don’t you just come stay at my place tonight?”

“Sure, sounds good. Can I bring Mo?” Mickey asks, looking over his shoulder before he heads towards his room to pack a bag.

Ian finally feels himself smile, “Yeah of course”.

He waits with Mandy while Mickey gets his shit together, who smiles weakly at him as she pats his shoulder.

“My brother is stupid in love with you” she says softly. “I know” he answers, just as quietly.  

He says it with gratitude.

Mickey comes out of his bedroom a few minutes later with his backpack slung over his shoulder, and he hands it to Ian to put on as he passes by him, Mo following both of them out the front door.

“See ya later Mands” Mickey yells.

“Have fun” she calls back, disappearing back into her bedroom.

Mickey pulls his bike over to the road, again handing the helmet to Ian who by this point doesn’t argue with him.

Mickey gets on the Enduro first and Ian slides onto the seat behind him, carefully checking around himself before he wraps his arms around Mickey a little tighter than necessary to hold on.

“I fucking love you” Mickey says, barely glancing back behind himself.

“I know. Let’s get the fuck out of here” Ian answers, closing his eyes slightly as Mickey turns the key and brings the motorcycle to life, vibrating and humming beneath them.

Within seconds they are leaving the Milkovich house behind, with two empty coffee mugs and an ashtray left forgotten on the porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that worry <3 Terry will never catch them in my fic :) but of course he'll always be an issue. If you have any requests of what they should do before the summer ends feel free to comment them and I'll see if I can work any of them in :) 
> 
> I'm going away for a few days so my next update will be delayed. As always, thanks for reading <3


	59. Sergeant Gallagher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey sneaks in to watch an ROTC session of Ian's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m enjoying Hudstrige1’s fic 'Crush' about a much younger Ian and Mickey, and the part about Mickey going in to watch Ian at ROTC inspired this as well the very beginning of my fic when Mickey fantasized about Ian (of course they’re older in this fic, with more serious things on their mind as a couple lol)

“Turn that up” Mickey says, nodding his head to the music as Ian’s Spotify playlist changes to a new track. They'd been sitting together having sandwiches that Ian had thrown together for lunch while the rest of his siblings were out, on a typical hot and lazy August day. 

Ian nods his head to the song too and turns up the volume on his phone as Mickey stands behind his chair in the kitchen and sings behind his head playfully, “ _Can I sit next to you? Can you sit next to me_?”

“ _Get the stars out your eyes. Come and bring them to me_ ” Ian sings back, feeling a smile creep across his face.

When he’d seen Mickey’s bedroom for the first time, he’d noticed the Spoon poster beside his bed right away, and that night he had done what any other person with a crush would do, went home and listened to all their songs.

He watches with amusement as Mickey lets loose in the Gallagher kitchen, joining him in the next part of the verse, he stands across from Mickey like they’re having some kind of a sing off.

“ _I been down so long, I've been working on a plan, yeah, It's just that I been down so long. I gotta give me my mind what I can. Can I sit next to you? Can you sit next to me_?”

Spoon was one of Mickey’s favorite bands, not Ian’s, so he didn’t remember all the words perfectly but at least hummed along until he heard the next part of the song, to which Mickey just kept going.

“ _I walked to Memphis alone, 'Cause you'd do it for me. Ooh, I know you would_ ”.

Ian stops smiling and looks away as he listens to that part, and Mickey not catching on, grabs him by the arm and tries to get him into it again, but he can’t.

“C’mon Ian! Usually you’re the one that won’t stop fuckin singing and dancing and now you’re gonna let me be an asshole in your kitchen by myself?”

Usually that would be true, but this time Ian just frowns. “It’s the song Mickey. ‘Walked to Memphis alone’?” he repeats, suddenly annoyed at himself. 

Mickey shakes his head, trying not to lose his playful mood. “This was one of my favorite songs long before that Ian”. He points at the ceiling and nods his head in agreement as Spoon croons the next line, “ _I put all that aside, concentrate on you_ ”.

"See?"

Ian still feels uncomfortable though, and Mickey gives him a shy smile, cocking his head.

“Honestly Ian, this song _does_ remind me of you. Not the Memphis part though. ‘ _Sitting next to you_ ’…like that day on the bus, remember? And listen to the lyrics man, it’s about being down for so long and then life finally giving you a fucking break”.

Ian finally feels himself smile a little, Mickey’s own being happy one being contagious. He would probably always feel a little guilty about the Memphis thing, but he needed to try and be more like Mickey, leaving the past in the past.

He's not sure how he does it, or if he could even be that forgiving himself.

But it was a pretty good feeling, knowing that Mickey felt he was reason his life had gotten better.

“Fuck, I don’t deserve a boyfriend like you” he says, grabbing Mickey in a playful headlock and rubbing his dark head with his knuckles.

“Fuck off” Mickey laughs, forcing himself out of Ian’s grip.

He glances over at the stove, “Hey, when’s your ROTC thing again?”

Ian blinks and glances over at the clock too. He’d asked Mickey for a ride yesterday, but had completely forgotten about his training session at one today.

“Shit, shit, shit! I’m gonna be late, it started ten fucking minutes ago!” he swears, bounding up the stairs to yank on his uniform. He’d have to skip the shower before training today, and he knows that showing up late with a disheveled appearance won't win him any brownie points with his sergeant. 

Mickey jogs up the stairs after him to quickly get dressed as well, calling out, “Don't worry about it, I'll get you there”.

After he finishes pulling on his jacket over his olive green t-shirt, Ian turns to see Mickey standing his bedroom doorway, pulling his jeans on over his round ass. He has to do a little jump and a wiggle to pull them up all the way quickly, and Ian watches with interest, unable to help himself.

He's already late...he bites his lip, and Mickey laughs as he notices him staring, “After. C’mon Ian”.

Reluctantly, Ian quickly follows him back down the stairs and out the front door after firstly letting Mo out into the backyard and giving him a bowl of water. The rest of his family was out for a good chunk of the day, so he didn’t want him to be stuck inside on his own.

By the time he gets to the front yard Mickey is already ready and waiting for him, and he tosses Ian his helmet and brings the motorcycle to life, pulling onto the road the second Ian sits down and wraps his arms around him.

Even though Ian’s ROTC uniform with the jacket is a little heavy for the late August heat, the wind whipping past him and Mickey as he speeds towards the ROTC training facility keeps him fairly cool. He actually loves riding with Mickey.

While his boyfriend focuses on driving he can take in all the sights, and he feels absolutely free.

Not to mention he always found Mickey waiting for him outside anywhere on the motorcycle insanely hot. He might know Mickey better now, but some part of him will always think of and be attracted to Mickey as the badass at school and in his neighborhood that was nothing but trouble. 

When they arrive at the ROTC center, Ian gets off to say a quick and subtle goodbye, and he takes an extra long look at Mickey sitting on his bike before he heads inside.

He couldn’t wait to come back out to that after training. He readjusts himself in his boxers and shakes his head to clear his mind as he jogs through the building and into the yard training area where he was due almost twenty-five minutes ago now.

“Gallagher! You’re late! 25 push-ups for 25 minutes, then get your ass back into formation!” his drill sergeant yells out the second he sees him.

Ian groans quietly to himself but then quickly drops to the ground to do his push-ups, still thinking about Mickey as he does.

 

*Mickey’s POV*

Mickey sits out in the parking lot on his motorcycle and lights a cigarette, inhaling deeply and letting the smoke curl out his nose while he thinks.

He catches himself biting his lip as he thinks about Ian in his uniform, and he wipes the expression from his face as some lady gets out of her car and walks past him to go into the building. 

Fuck, he’d always had a thing for Ian in his camo.

Even way before they had talked, any time he'd been hidden underneath the bleachers having a smoke during school and Ian Gallagher had happened to be jogging around the high school racing track in his uniform, he’d found an excuse to go through several more cigarettes before leaving.

It had been damn near impossible to turn down that look in Ian’s eye this morning, but he’d been spending more time at the Gallagher house lately and he didn’t want to be the reason Ian got in trouble or anything.

He was sure the ROTC lieutenants or whatever were all a bunch of hard asses.

Mickey finishes his cigarette and ditches his bike to wander around to the side of the building. Finding a damn fence blocking any chance of getting a good view, he goes back around and heads into the building instead.

“Sup” he address the woman at the front desk,  who is also in uniform, but he notices her camo is a different shade than Ian’s. He glances over at a 'we want you!' poster on her desk for some job training little kids that want to be cadets.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

He nods as he turns to look at her, surprising himself by how openly he asks, “Can I uh, watch the training session or whatever?”

“The current one? Do you know someone participating in it?” she asks, checking over the schedule.

“Yeah. Friends with Gallagher, just wanted to check him- _it_ out” he stumbles over his words and then reddens slightly before clearing his throat and scowling.

Fucking idiot. 

She looks up at him and nods, “That’s fine. Through that hallway and to the left. Stay behind the fenced area though, you don’t want to interrupt. Sergeant Mathews would not be understanding, Ian was already twenty five minutes late". 

Mickey salutes her, only slightly sarcastically saying “Sure thing mam”. His curiosity is outweighing just about everything else by now.

Following her directions, he finds himself now inside the closed off training yard, several feet away from where about twenty kids his age, mostly boys, are running drills in front of a pissed off looking sergeant.

Mickey spots Ian almost immediately, doing a few more push ups before he stands up and gets in line with his peers, his red hair a dead giveaway.

Settling in against the brick wall of the building comfortably, Mickey allows himself to gaze across the field at Ian. He’s glad Ian is far away and busy enough that he doesn’t notice him standing there. He doesn’t want to distract him or anything. He probably already got enough shit for being late.

Watching Ian do all sorts of training shit like tire runs, assembling and reassembling guns, and jumping jacks, is a prime form of entertainment for Mickey.

Not because it’s funny.

But because it’s hot as fuck.

He can tell Ian is working hard and sweating, and he has to readjust himself in his pants after a while. Maybe it’s immature or whatever, wanting to pretend his boyfriend is a soldier as he plows him, but he’s had that fantasy since long before he and Ian were actually together.

He wouldn’t actually want Ian to be a solider though.

That thought crosses his mind too as he watches, and he chews the inside of his cheek a bit anxiously as he considers it. Why would Ian do all this if he didn’t plan on joining the army someday though?

But if he did join the army... what did that mean for them? 

*Ian’s POV*

Ian’s sweating like a pig by the time his drill sergeant calls it a day, and he peels off his jacket immediately, knowing his shirt underneath is soaked with sweat. He picks up his water bottle and dumps it out over his head, shaking his head like a dog as water and sweat goes flying. 

Using the jacket to mop up his forehead, he turns to walk off the field, but as he gets closer to the ROTC building he sees Mickey standing there, a strange expression on his face. He bites his lip as Ian approaches.

“Hey” Ian says in surprise, “Didn’t know you were here”.

Mickey had only dropped him off twice before since he got back from Memphis with a vehicle, but he always left right after. He's happy to see him though.

“Uh, yeah. Wanted to…watch” Mickey says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he watches the rest of the cadets leave. He glances up and down at Ian again slowly before he looks away, tipping his head to the side.  

“Wanna get out of here?”

Ian’s eyes fall from Mickey's face to his crotch, where there is a very noticeable bulge. “Fuck yeah. But I gotta shower first Mick, I’m gross”.

Mickey glances around to make sure they are alone before he answers.

“Nah man. Want you just like this. I'm horny as a motherfucker”.

Noticing the heated and impatient look in Mickey’s eyes, Ian feels himself smirk, “Okay. Come on”.

His boyfriend follows him back inside the building again, out through the front doors, and around the side of the building where Mickey had originally gone hoping to get a peek.

“Where…?” Mickey starts to ask, clearly confused as he tugs on his crotch again to rearrange himself. He's stupid turned on at this point.

“Just back here” Ian answers, the edge of a small forest coming into view a moment later. He jogs into the privacy of the trees, and after they get several feet deep Mickey grabs his arm, pulling him back towards and then up against him. 

He moves his mouth up against Ian’s impatiently, who opens his mouth to let his tongue in, closing his eyes at the heat coming off of him.

“Jesus Christ I want you so fucking bad” he hears Mickey moan into his neck, biting his collarbone as he starts to yank on his belt.

He feels a tongue swipe across his skin a second later, tasting the salt and sweat eagerly. He opens his eyes again and looks down at Mickey, who’s now got his own cock out and is slowly stroking it.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asks rhetorically, slapping Mickey's hand away to undo his belt himself. “Yeah” Mickey answers impatiently.

His boyfriend swats a mosquito away from himself in annoyance. The one downside of fucking in the bushes.

Ian leans forward to kiss Mickey again, but Mickey turns his head away from the intimacy, surprising him.

“Just…just be rough with me, alright?" Mickey says, panting. Ian raises his eyebrows slightly in surprise, “What about prep?”

“Don't want it. Just fuck me good Army”. Mickey turns and leans against a tree, and after a quick shrug, Ian grabs him the hips, yanking his ass back closer towards himself.

Ignoring Mickey’s initial request, he uses a finger to stretch him just a bit before he plows into him, not wanting to actually do any damage.

“Fuck” Mickey moans, his forehead creasing from the initial pain as Ian sinks completely inside him.

Still overheated from working out, Ian doesn’t waste any time leading up to anything, and he fucks him hard from the get go, listening to Mickey rotate between panting and moaning out “ _Gallagher_ ” and “ _Army_ ”.

Thinking he might be catching on to something, Ian bites his lip and then slaps Mickey’s ass, cautiously saying, “That’s Sergeant Gallagher to you, Milkovich”.

Mickey jerks forward the second the words leave his lips, fighting his orgasm hard. “Yes” he gasps out.

Ian suddenly pulls roughly out to turn him around, and presses Mickey up against the tree again, "Wanna see you".

“Lift your legs” he orders, lowering his arms to lend him the support.

Balancing Mickey up against the tree trunk, Ian holds up his boyfriend's thick legs and after a minute or two of poking around aimlessly at his ass with his dick, manages to find his hole again and sink into it.

“Fuckin… Gallagher” Mickey manages to get out, his eyes hooded and his mouth falling open in pleasure as Ian rocks his entire body up against the tree.

Ian fucks into him even harder, grunting from the effort to both support him and fuck him properly at the same time. It’s so worth it though, seeing how turned on Mickey is, he’s fucking leaking everywhere.

He’s quickly realizing this is a legit kink of Mickey’s, and more than just an attraction to him in his uniform. Leaning his face forward again, Mickey reaches out and grabs Ian’s dogtags with his teeth, biting onto the chain as Ian works up to his climax.

“Mm Milkovich. Think I’m gonna cum in your ass”.

“Fucking do it” Mickey almost spits, closing his eyes for a second in ecstasy. He starts coming a few seconds later, spurts of thick white jetting out over his thighs, Ian’s arms, and Ian’s t-shirt.

Ian grits his teeth through his own orgasm, trying to keep his strength enough to continue holding Mickey up. The second he’s finished orgasming he drops him, Mickey quickly catching his own weight and balance and then helping him to stay standing.

“I’m…wrecked” Ian mumbles, feeling like he’s a hundred degrees as Mickey supports him. He’s entirely overheated and exhausted now, but satisfaction floods every pore of his body.

Sliding down against the tree trunk, he lets Mickey kiss him for a while, so tired he can barely move his lips, but his love for this boy is stronger.

“Fucking love you Army. You’re amazing” he hears Mickey say, as he starts to nod off a while later, the two of them resting in the shade with their backs up against the trees.

Excluding the first part of it, this is the best summer he's ever had. 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                  


	60. You Can Do This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian changes jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th of July to my American readers :)

“Ian, can I talk to you?”

Ian turns to look up at his boss, he’d been crouching in front of the stack of no-name soup cans, stamping them with reduced price stickers as per their weekly sale.

“Yeah, sure” he answers, quickly checking his watch. Mickey was supposed to come on his break and bring him something to eat for dinner, but he’s still got at least fifteen minutes.

Following Kash into the back room of the store, Ian notices the excited look on his face, and the slight nervousness in his mannerisms.

 Something’s going on.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asks uncertainly, playing with the price gun in his hands.

He always found it awkward working with Kash ever since he’d ended their hooking up back in September, and he has a feeling he knows what this is about.

Kash puts his hands together in excitement, “Well Ian, Linda and I are getting a divorce. Finally, it’s official!”

Okay, that wasn’t exactly what Ian had been expecting. He had been thinking more along the lines of Kash propositioning him again, but he’s glad he doesn’t have to deal with that awkward conversation.

Kash looks delighted, and Ian finds himself feeling sorry for Linda and his two kids.

It wasn’t his place to, especially since he used to be the one Kash was fucking behind her back, but that didn’t mean that he ever felt good about it. It was just his way of getting off at the time, with someone who wanted to hide their sexuality just as much as he did.

“Congrats?” he says awkwardly.

“Thanks Ian. Anyways, I was thinking, now it wouldn’t really be wrong, you know?” Kash looks at him hopefully.

Ian, looking for any excuse not to talk about this, or to even think about his past as a homewrecker, starts loudly moving around some of the boxes he still has to unpack and restock the shelves with. If he acts like he didn’t know what Kash is talking about, or he’s not willing to discuss it, maybe he’ll let it go.

He really does not want to go down this road again, or even think about it.

Unfortunately, Kash does.

He feels the older man come up behind him and stroke his arm before gripping his shoulders, massaging them slightly.

“Kash” he says warningly, shaking his head.

“Relax Ian, don’t you remember how good it was? Me and you back here, it was amazing. You made coming to work fun”.

Ian turns to say something rude in response, but as soon as he does, he sees Mickey standing in the doorway of the back room, watching them.

Fuck. When he did he get here? How much did he hear?

Ian hadn’t heard him come into the store over the noise he’d been purposely making unpacking, and he had never told Mickey about him and his boss hooking up before they’d gotten together.

“The fuck did you just say? Me and you back here?” Mickey demands, jabbing his finger towards Kash.

Well, he’d arrived in time to hear that.

“Mickey relax, it was before you” Ian says, knowing it’s a long shot that Mickey will actually calm down. What he doesn’t realize right away is that Mickey’s anger isn’t stemming from jealousy.

“Yeah, I heard the remember part” Mickey spits, ignoring him and turning his rigid body completely towards the older man, practically shaking with anger.

“How fucking old are you, Curry? 40? And how old was Ian? He told me he got this fucking job when he was 14”.

“It’s none of your business. And Ian was more than capable of giving cons-“

Mickey cuts Kash’s weak and embarrassed explanation off with a brutal punch to the nose, an instant loud crack filling the backroom right before the blood begins to pour.

He lunges forward and shoves Kash hard against one his shelves, who stumbles and falls to the ground, and Ian quickly moves around in front of him, trying to push Mickey away from the older man as Kash starts yelling about calling the police.

“The fuck are you protecting him for?” Mickey snarls, trying to dodge around Ian’s flailing arms, “You _want_ to fuck him again?”

“Don’t be fucking stupid, I’m protecting you!” Ian yells back, “You want to go to jail over this? It’s not worth it”.

Mickey’s eyes are filled with anger, and he grinds his jaw as he looks over at Kash, absolutely fuming. “He deserves it” he says, spitting in Kash’s direction.

“Yeah, he does. But Mickey, I need you. Please. Don’t do this”.

The thought of losing Mickey again to prison is terrifying to him, and he has no problem begging in this instance.

Mickey looks torn, glancing back from Kash and then Ian again, finally wincing as though it pains him to give up this opportunity.

He points a tattooed finger at Kash, “Call the fucking cops on me and I’ll rat you out for being a pedophile you piece of shit”.

Kash glares at him, and then at Ian, “You’re fired Ian. Both of you, get out of my store”.

Mickey starts to swear and advance on him once more, but Ian yells right over him, blocking Mickey with his arm again. “I’m happy to fucking go! Take your stupid apron. Mickey’s fucking right about you”.

“Oh yeah? Then why did you stay!” Kash spits, trying to mop up the blood pouring from his nose with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Because I needed the fucking money for my family!” Ian screams back, jabbing at his own chest as he throws his apron to the ground. Losing all his cool, he turns on his heel and storms out of the little grocery store, hearing Mickey follow him.

He rounds on his boyfriend as soon as they are outside, “Why the fuck did you need to get involved? Now I have no fucking job and no way to help out with the bills!”

“He’s a fucking pedophile Ian!” Mickey shouts back, bristling defensively.

“I could have handled it myself Mickey, I’m not a fucking scared faggot that you need to protect all the time!”

Both of them blanch slightly at the ugly words as they come out of Ian’s mouth, surprising even himself.

“I…was just trying to help” Mickey says, looking taken aback.

Ian sighs, wiping his sweaty face with the back of his hand.

He’s not sure if it’s the heat or fucking Kash that made him snap like that.

“Yeah. Yeah I know that Mick. But now I have no job, and my family needs to eat”.

“I’ll-“

“No” Ian cuts Mickey off before he even starts, “No fucking drugs”.

“Well then I’ll help you find something else” Mickey says, shrugging. He’s trying not to show it, but Ian being mad at him clearly has him shaken.

“Like what? I’m not qualified for anything” Ian says, breathing out through his nose as he starts to get frustrated again.

Mickey’s quiet for a moment, but then he looks excited. “ROTC! When I was there the other day I saw a poster at the front desk or some shit, aren’t they looking to hire one of you guys to help run the little kids class or something?”

Ian answers slowly, “Yeah…they are”. He remembers Sergeant Mathews telling his class about it too.

“So? Apply for it! You’re a fucking shoe in Ian”.

Mickey looks so happy with himself that Ian can’t stay annoyed with him, but he’s still not sure he’s found a solution to his problem.

“Mick, that’s a good idea and everything but I probably won’t get it. That’s why I didn’t apply in the first place”.

Mickey shakes his head, coming over to give him a kiss in the dark. “Ian, don’t fucking doubt yourself. You can do this”.

Ian thinks for a moment, finally nodding his head hesitantly. “Okay… I’ll go in and apply tomorrow”.

It couldn’t hurt, he thinks, at least trying for it. He’d been needing a new job for a long time anyways, and he was sick of trying to avoid Kash as much as possible at work. Not that he even had that as an option anymore.

“Sweet. You got this…babe” Mickey says, giving him another encouraging kiss.

Ian grins at the term, and looks down at the wrinkled and smushed paper bag that Mickey had been clutching in his hand this entire time, only noticing it just now.

“That my dinner?”

Mickey looks down at the bag in his hand and wrinkles his mouth apologetically, “Uh, yeah. Turkey and ham from Subway”.

“Hand it over, I’m starving” Ian says, taking it from him gratefully.

They sit on the curb together as Ian eats his messed up but favorite kind of sandwich, feeling his mood improve as his stomach is filled.

Mickey notices the change in his mood too, as Ian starts to hum quietly as he eats.

“Were you just fucking hangry that whole time? Damn Ian”.

Ian laughs around his mouthful of food, “Maybe a little”.

There’s a slight smile on his face as Mickey grumbles around his cigarette, “Lucky you’re fucking cute”.

*

Mickey drops Ian off at the ROTC building in the morning to inquire about the job, but as he’s waiting inside on his own to see his sergeant, Ian gets an apologetic text from him.

“ **Gotta go pick up Mandy’s stupid ass across town. Sorry. I’ll come by your place when I’m done. GL, love you** ”

That’s fine, he can take the bus home. “ **Thanks, love u too** ” Ian texts back, standing and putting his phone in his pocket as his sergeant comes out of his office.

“Gallagher, what brings you in today? There’s no training sessions today” he says, glancing at him.

“Uh, I’m actually here to apply for…that job” Ian points at the poster on the wall Mickey had been referring to the night before.

He’s still feeling a little anxious, even after Mickey and Fiona had helped to coach him all morning for what he might be asked during his interview. He’s not sure what to expect, because Kash had just offered him a job, he never even applied.

Sergeant Mathews looks at the poster behind himself and nods. “Oh, excellent. Come into my office Ian”.

He seems friendlier now, so Ian relaxes as he sits down across from him, letting out a deep breath.

He’s surprised by how casually his sergeant addresses him.  

“Actually Ian, I was hoping you’d apply for this position. Other than your little mishap of being late the other day, you’re an excellent cadet. Top quality. And I hear you have a lot of siblings”.

“That I do” Ian laughs awkwardly, “I’m used to dealing with kids”.

He fiddles with his hands a bit, expecting to be grilled a little more. But Mathews surprises him yet again, clearly out of his drill sergeant mode.

“And you are very familiar with our operations of course. Well Ian, there’s been a lot of interest around this job, but none of the other applicants felt just right to me. Whatever made you change your mind about applying, I’m glad did. The job is yours”.

Ian grins in disbelief, “That’s great! Thank you so much. When do I start?”

Sergeant Mathews stands up and shakes his hand.

“We’ll have to have you in the for next few days to train you for the position properly. I know you have school coming up, so after that we’ll keep it to a couple shifts a week. How does $12 an hour sound? I’ll see you tomorrow. 8 a.m. _sharp_ Gallagher”

“Great, that sounds great. I won’t be late. Thank you so much. See you tomorrow” Ian garbles, still in disbelief as he backs out of Mathews office.

He takes the bus home, bouncing his knee with excitement the entire time, and as soon as he steps inside his house he sees Fiona poke her head out from her place on the couch with Liam.

“Well?” she asks anxiously.

Ian losing his job had been bad news for the entire family, and his older sister had not been impressed with him getting himself fired, although he had lied and said it happened because he came in late too often.

“I got it!” he says, grinning as she offers him a high five.

“Thank God Ian, what a relief” she says, a big smiling stretching across her face.

“Yeah, and I make more than I did at the Kash & Grab”.

An extra dollar an hour wasn’t a lot, but it would make a difference, and this was a job he could be proud of.

He hears Mickey’s motorcycle coming up the road and he quickly turns to Fiona, “Pretend like I didn’t get it!” He can’t give up the opportunity to mess with him.

His sister laughs, “You’re mean Ian”.

He grins but then wipes the smile off his face and tries to look sad as Mickey comes inside a couple moments later, holding a milkshake from Mcdonald’s in his hand.

Mickey pants slightly as he looks at him, shutting the door behind himself.

“Hey, sorry about that. Mandy couldn’t get a ride home from her stupid friend’s house and the bitch wouldn’t lend her money to take the El. How’d it go?”

Ian casts his eyes down, sighing deeply. “I didn’t get it”.

“Oh...fuck. I’m so sorry, fuck. Here, I uh, got you this to cheer you up just in case”.

Mickey awkwardly thrusts the milkshake in his hand out to him, and Ian takes it as a smile creeps onto his face.

“What?” Mickey says, looking from him to Fiona, who at this point can’t hide her smile either, “Sorry it’s melted and shit, had to hold it between my legs on the way here”.

Ian beams at him, no longer trying to hide his excitement. “I got the job Mick”.

“You- fuck you! Give me that fuckin milkshake back!” Mickey says, pretending like he’s going to grab it back as Fiona and Ian start laughing.

Instead, he grabs Ian, kissing him on the corner of the mouth and lifting him off the ground for a moment before putting him back down and slapping him on the back.

“Proud of you man. Would have been either way”.

Ian grins and leans his elbow on his shoulder, “Well, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for you”.

For Fiona’s sake, he leaves it sounding like it’s only about Mickey believing in him, not about him beating the shit out of Kash for fucking an underage boy.

“You guys are too much. Too much!” she says happily, repeating it to Liam in a playful voice.

Ian smiles at his boyfriend. He could never get enough of too much.


	61. As Summer Comes To an End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is starting to worry about Ian's plans to eventually join the army, goes along with the family to a fairground to celebrate the end of the summer.

Mickey lays on Ian’s bed with his legs spread and watches as Ian irons his ROTC uniform. It’s a lazy Saturday, the very last one of summer, and they’ve been enjoying their time together as a couple at home immensely before they have to go back to school and the best friends act.

Not that either of them has a _huge_ problem with that, because they _are_ best friends as much as they are a couple, but the freedom that summer had afforded them had been nice.

Ian carefully irons over the “GALLAGHER” printed on his uniform, noticing Mickey eyeing him. “You think maybe next time we can switch things up?” he asks without turning his head.

Mickey raises his eyebrow sharply, “Like I put on your uniform?” Ian laughs, “Well, maybe. I was more thinking I wear it and you fuck me”.

Mickey’s expression immediately changes, “Let’s do it”.

“Not now, I just fucking cleaned and ironed it. You know how long it took me to get your jizz stain out? Fuck Mickey”.

“In my defense, you fucked me real good” Mickey grins, closing his eyes and putting his hands behind his head.

“Yeah well I had to tell some little kid in my class it was from yogurt” Ian complains as he turns back around, missing the resulting smirk on his boyfriend’s face.

Propping the iron back up once he’s finished, Ian unplugs it and then heads over towards Mickey on the bed. “You can still fuck me without the uniform you know”.

“Oh, you don’t say?” Mickey laughs, grabbing him and wrestling him on the bed for a minute or two until he gets him laughing too.

“You know Ian, I wanted to ask you something though”.

Ian’s laughter slows and he raises his eyebrow at Mickey playfully, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. So, what’s like…your plan, with the ROTC thing. You actually planning on joining the army or what?” Mickey asks quickly, casually, but his eyes aren’t on Ian.

Even though he’d been enjoying the last week or so of his new job, the question catches Ian off guard, and he frowns as he leans back against his wall, stretching his legs out over Mickey.

Truthfully, in the back of his mind, he had somewhat always planned on joining the army. But he hadn’t thought about it seriously in a very long time now. What that would actually be like.

He still liked ROTC, but he wasn’t sure if the idea of actually joining the army was all that appealing anymore.

“I don’t know” he answers honestly.

 Mickey nods, but his expression is still guarded.

“It’s what I always planned” Ian continues, “But now I’m not sure”.

“Well it’s not cause of me, is it?” Mickey asks, suddenly looking annoyed, “Cause I’m not gonna let you give up your dream for my ass”.

“Your ass is my dream” Ian teases, trying to give him a kiss, but Mickey’s lips are firm and ungiving as he does.

“What?” he sighs, pulling away.

“I’m trying to be serious here Ian. If you plan on joining the army, that’s next year”.

Mickey’s blue eyes look dark, and as much as he’s trying to keep his expression neutral, Ian sees worry in them.

“I don’t think I want to join the army anymore Mickey. That’s the truth. I just don’t know what else I would do” Ian says, his own green eyes sincere.

Mickey nods, but he doesn’t look too reassured. “Okay. Well, whatever you want to fuckin do, just do it, okay?”

The words he leaves out are, _if you want to leave, I’ll understand_. And maybe even, _but I don’t want you to._

“Okay” Ian answers softly. He knows Mickey would probably wait for him, that’s not why he’s changing his mind. He’s just not who he used to be anymore, not the Ian he was when he signed up for ROTC eventually planning to join the army.

He doesn’t want that solo life anymore, far away and on his own. He wants a life with Mickey, them together, no matter where they end up.

This is a conversation he isn’t really ready to have either way, and he’s pretty sure Mickey isn’t either.

Every pair of highschool sweethearts eventually has to face the facts by the end of grade 12, and decide if they are going out into the world together, or if they are going apart.

Most couples don’t make it. Ian knows that. Mickey probably knows that. But neither one of them wants to think of a life without the other anymore.

Fiona suddenly walks into the boy’s room and seeing them sort of sprawled over each other on the bed, immediately turns back around, covering her eyes.

“Did I interrupt something?”

“No” Mickey answers, gently shoving Ian off of him, “What’s up?”

She turns around, and seeing them fully clothed and not in the act of messing around, relaxes.

“Debbie and Carl were talking about this fair that’s about an hour and a half away, they’d really like to go, and I was thinking it might be nice to celebrate before everyone goes back to school”.

His mind immediately leaving their previous conversation, Ian hesitates. “Well… what if someone from our school is there?”

Without looking at Mickey, he can tell he is probably considering the same thing.

“It’s pretty far Ian, and even if there is, it’s a big place. Plus, you could just be two friends going to the fair, that happens”.

Fiona looks so sure of herself that Ian turns to Mickey, hoping he’ll agree to go. He absolutely loves rides and everything else about fairs, but he knows Mickey doesn’t.

“Uh, it’s not really my thing. Why don’t you just go?” he says, looking around himself for a lighter.

“No smoking in the house Mickey, or lean out the window” Fiona says, “Ian?”

“Well I really want to go but I want Mickey to come too. C’mon Mick there’ll be ribs, and cotton candy, ice cream… all that sweet shit you love”.

Mickey blinks over at him, his stomach clearly doing some thinking for him. Mickey’s not chubby, not even close, but he’s definitely softer and thicker than him, something that Ian fucking loves about his boyfriend.

Ian pokes at his soft belly teasingly, “Come on, do it”.

“Fuck off. Alright, I’ll go” Mickey grumbles, smacking Ian’s hand away from his stomach.

Kev and V come by that evening, all of them carpooling in the same van to head to the fair, and needless to say, it’s jam-packed with people.

Being one seat short, Liam ends up in Ian’s lap, but stretches and pulls away until Ian gives up and passes him over to Mickey. He curls one arm around Liam protectively, holding him like he’s a human car seat, but Liam doesn’t complain.

“Give me the aux” Ian says after he passes Liam over, leaning forward to take the cord from Veronica as she offers it.

After putting on some upbeat track by Imagine Dragons while Fiona carefully pulls onto the street and drives off down the road, Ian turns to smile at Mickey.

“What?” Mickey asks, frowning slightly. He always starts out this way when he agrees to do something solely because his boyfriend wants to, but he’s yet to not come around.

“Nothing. I’m just happy you’re here” Ian answers, leaning in over Liam’s head to give him a kiss.

“Awwww” Veronica calls out, clapping her hands as she looks back at them through the mirror.

Mickey blushes and rolls his eyes like he’s annoyed, but Liam looks back at him with a big smile, and Ian triumphantly notices Mickey can’t cover his own all too well.

As they pull into the fairground parking lot about an hour and a half later, Fiona tries to organize everyone before they all take off.

“Lip, do you mind keeping an eye on Carl and Debbie?”

“Nope” he answers, around his freshly lit cigarette.

“Okay, and obviously Ian and Mickey you’ll do your own thing…but, hey, Mickey would you mind taking Liam too? If you don’t want to go on any rides anyways…”

Fiona looks at him hopefully, and then over at Kev and V, who are holding hands a few feet ahead and waiting for her to come with them.

“Sure, whatever” Mickey answers, taking Liam back from her.

“Sweet, thank you! I owe you one” she says, quickly running after her friends before he could possibly change his mind.

“You didn’t have to say yes” Ian tells him, as they start walking towards the fairgrounds after everyone else.

“I don’t really care, she needs a break anyways. You can do your rides and shit, me and Liam will get some deep fried snickers bars or something like that, won’t we Liam?”

Sure enough, by the time Ian gets on the travelling Mighty Mountain rollercoaster and whizzes past where all the spectators are waiting, he sees through the blur Mickey and Liam holding cotton candy, and a bunch of other junk food.

They both wave at him the second time around, and when Ian gets off he feels exhilarated and dizzy, but happy.

He goes from ride to ride for the next hour or so until he gets off his second round on the Spinner and sees Liam fussing and giving Mickey a hard time.

“What’s wrong?” Ian asks, reaching out to Liam as he rejoins them and receiving a sticky hand to the face, “No hitting, Liam”.

“He’s bored” Mickey answers, looking flustered. “Don’t fuckin blame him”.

“Well, there’s rides we can take him on too. What do you think Liam? Merry Go Round?”

Liam nods his head happily, until Mickey tries to hand him over. “No Ian” Liam says, frowning.

“Ouch” Ian laughs, “That means you’re up Mick”.

Mickey gives him a look, “I’m not going on the fucking Merry Go Round. No. Sorry Liam, not happening”.

Normally Liam’s the type of kid to quietly accept a no, but he immediately starts to scream, which surprises the hell out of Mickey.

“What the fuck” he says, uncertainly.

“You got him all hopped up on sugar, how much crap did you give him?” Ian answers, trying to hide his smirk as Mickey starts to redden in embarrassment while Liam keeps going, throwing his head back against Mickey.

“Alright alright, I’ll go with you. Shush, everybody’s looking at us” he says to Liam sternly, his brow furrowed.

The toddler immediately quiets and smiles, and Mickey rolls his eyes as they go over to the Merry Go Round, forking over what he clearly feels is a ridiculous amount of cash for the ride.

Now that it’s Ian’s turn to watch, he’s not sure what he enjoys more. Seeing Mickey in dad mode certainly catches his interest, and he makes sure to take a picture almost every time they go around, Mickey flipping him off in more than half of them.

“Hey!”

Ian turns to see Lip, Carl and Debbie standing behind him.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

Lip shrugs, and then looks over towards the ride in interest. “We’re gonna start heading back soon, ran into Fiona like five minutes ago. Jesus, never thought I’d see Mickey Milkovich on a Merry Go Round”.

“Neither did I” Ian grins, “Liam’s got him wrapped around his finger though”.

“Want me to take him?” Lip asks Mickey as they get off the ride a minute or two later and head back over to rejoin the group.

Mickey shrugs and doesn’t seem to care either way, but Ian nods. “Yeah. Would like to get Mick on at least one ride with me tonight”.

Mickey gives him a look, “Ian, give me a fuckin break. I just went on a fucking Merry Go Round”.

“We were just discussing that actually” Lip teases, giving him a playful slug on the shoulder, “The Ferris Wheel is pretty romantic though, whatcha think Ian?”

Ian looks over at the gigantic Ferris wheel that’s several feet away from them, mostly empty, but with a few cars occupied by couples.

Against the night sky, with all the lights below, it does look pretty romantic.

“Please?” he asks, looking around out of habit before he takes Mickey’s hand. Mickey presses his fingers to his temple for a moment before he sighs, “No point in arguing with you is there?”

“No” Ian answers, as they walk over to the ride operator. He glances down at their joined hands, and Mickey immediately gives him such an aggressive look that he looks up and away, like he hadn’t noticed anything at all.

“8 dollars”.

Mickey slaps Ian’s hand away when he tries to hand over some of his cash in payment, “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it right”.

He hands over the money for both of them and Ian raises his eyebrow in amusement, but doesn’t say anything as he gets in the car beside his boyfriend, letting him rest his arm around his shoulders.

As their car makes its slow rounds through the sky, Ian looks out over the widespread fairgrounds, enjoying the view while spotting his siblings below, and his older sister and her friends waiting by the van in the parking lot too.

He points out various things to Mickey, who mostly just nods, until their car stops at the very top of the Ferris Wheel.

“Was waiting for our turn” Mickey says, turning to him with a grin.

Ian closes his eyes as he feels Mickey’s lips press against him slowly, and he reaches his hand up to stroke the side of Mickey’s face, conveying his affection wordlessly.

He’s thinking about a lot of things as they kiss up there, suspended high above it all.

How summer is ending.

How he felt when it started out, and how low he had been, only to feel high again when Mickey came back, like he was aching after a drug and going through withdrawal.

How worried he knew Mickey probably was deep down that he would be the one to leave this time, moving away by choice for a job.

How he didn’t want to make any promises yet, but was now determined to find something he liked better than the army.

More than anything, as their Ferris wheel car jerks just slightly as it starts to descend again, Mickey slowly pulling away from the kiss to look him in the eyes and smile, he thinks about how in love he is with Mickey Milkovich.


	62. First Day of Grade 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey begin their last year of highschool together.

 Ian tapes up the last box of his brother’s belongings and carries it downstairs, resting it on top of a stack of a few others.

“It’s going to be weird without you here” he says, looking up at his older brother with some sadness.

“It’s gonna be weird not having to share a room, who am I gonna tell to shut the fuck up at night?” Lip answers, laughing. “But I’ll be visiting so often, you’ll be sick of me”.

Kev comes into the house just then and stops in front of them, looking at him expectantly. “You ready to go, College Man?”

“University Man” Lip corrects, shrugging, “Ready as I’ll ever be”.

Between the three of them, they carry all of Lip’s things out to the van Kev had volunteered to drive him up to his new school in.

Lip’s classes started a few days after the high school’s, which were starting up tomorrow. This way, he would have some time to get used to everything and find his away around campus. That was Fiona’s line of thought anyways.

Lip goes around and gives each of his siblings a hug before he leaves, Fiona tearing up slightly as she pulls away. “I’m so proud of you” she says quietly. He goes to Ian last, “Take care of yourself little bro. Tell Mickey I said fuck you”.

Ian finally laughs as he pulls away from the hug. For Mickey, that was pretty much a term of endearment, and they all knew that. “Will do” he promises.

But as he stands there with the rest of his family, watching and waving as Kev and Lip get in the van and drive away, he feels a strange sense of loss in his chest.

All he’d ever had in life were his siblings and Mickey. And even though he knew he’d still see Lip often enough, his older brother finishing high school and moving away was a reminder that they were all growing up, and life still had a lot of changing to do.

*

He still feels a little off the next day, on his first day of grade 12, until he steps outside in the morning and sees Mickey waiting for him on the porch, having his morning smoke.

Ian pauses for a moment, taking in the sight. “Fuck” he whispers, remembering the months he went without seeing him during grade 11.

He had come outside every single morning hoping by some miracle he’d see this exact sight. 

“Morning” Mickey says, standing up and looking at him with a strange expression on his face. He could read Ian like a book. “You okay?”

“Yeah…I guess I’m just…I don’t know” Ian answers, going down the porch steps and past his boyfriend.

“Lip?” Mickey offers, following him.

“Yeah” he admits, “And last year. You have no idea how much I missed seeing you out here every morning”.

“You have no idea how much I missed smoking on someone’s porch every morning. The Connolly’s didn’t fucking have one” Mickey laughs, as they walk to the sidewalk together.

Ian’s eyebrow raises slightly in interest at the mention of his foster parent’s names.

He didn’t know much about Mickey’s time in Memphis, other than the fact that he’d been miserable apparently, which Ian didn’t need to be told. He already knew, because he’d been the same way.

It seemed like it hadn’t been the typical foster experience from what he could gather, with shitty foster parents only in it for the money, but Mickey never offered anything up about his time away, and Ian wasn’t sure how to ask.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to know either. He has a feeling most of the details wouldn’t make him feel too good about himself.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Ian seems pretty quiet today, like there’s a lot on his mind, and it worries Mickey a little. 

That he might be sinking back into his depression or something, and Mickey’s not sure how he’d deal with that.

Not that he would leave or some shit, but not being able to help was a terrible feeling. He remembers that about his mother clearly.

He’s relieved to notice that Ian perks up by the time they get to school, and he relaxes slightly, hoping he just needs to readjust to the new school year and the changes at home.

Saying a casual goodbye to Ian at his locker before his boyfriend heads to his homeroom, Mickey heads back outside and lights a cigarette, pulling out his cellphone.

He’d chosen not to answer a call from Rob this morning while he was waiting for Ian. Not because he didn’t want to talk to him, but because he sort of felt like keeping a line between that part of his life and now.

Taking a long drag from his cigarette, Mickey calls him back and waits while the phone rings.

“ _Mickey. How’s it going_?” Rob's voice. 

Mickey nods to himself, “Good. Missed your call earlier, what’s up?” He watches as some stragglers hurry up the stairs past him.

“ _Nothing really, I just know it’s the first day back at school and I wanted to say good luck for grade 12 and I hope it goes really well for you. You’re a smart kid Mickey, don’t forget that_ ”.

Mickey bites his lip. His own dad hadn’t said shit about him going into his last year of high school today.

His decision to come back home was never one that he regretted, but he did sometimes wonder what it would have been like if he stayed in Memphis. He would have been set up to live a very different life. A good one, maybe. 

But if it was one without Ian, he wasn’t fucking interested. And he was pretty sure he'd always be a Chicago boy, through and through. 

“Thanks man. I…uh, hope everything’s good there too. How’s Camille?”

“ _It is. She actually has some exciting news, but since she’s not here I’ll tell you. She’s engaged_ ”.

Mickey frowns, “What?” She hadn’t even had a boyfriend that he had known about.

“ _Yeah. They met while you were here actually, but she didn’t want to bring him into your lives and have another person around so early on for you to get used to. Whirlwind romance I guess_ ”.

Huh.

“Oh. Well that’s cool I guess. Tell her I said congrats”.

“ _Will do Mickey. Anyways, shouldn’t you be in class right about now_?”

Mickey laughs, “Yeah. Just need to get a schedule change done”.

“ _Alright. Well, any time you need anything I’m a phone call away. Bye Mickey_ ”.

“Talk later, bye”.

Mickey hangs up his phone and heads back into the school, breezing into the front office.

The secretary looks at him apprehensively, but he just hands out his schedule. “I need to change my second period class”.

“Okay… let me get the VP for you”.

Mickey frowns and waits for Ms. Allway to appear, and she crosses her arms at him when she does.

“It’s the first day Mikhailo”.

“I’m wasn’t fucking sent here, I need a schedule change” he shoots back.

She takes a sharp breath through her nose and waves him into her office briskly, Mickey shaking his head in annoyance as he sits down.

Why the fuck did everyone think he was only capable of starting shit? To be fair, he loves to do that, but he’s not a complete fucking idiot either.

“What’s the switch you’re requesting, Mr. Milkovich?”

“Second period Math with Halls to second period Chem with Richards”.

Ian’s class. Mickey could tell he’d been disappointed that they didn’t have any classes together, and he thought it’d be a nice little surprise to show up for second period.

She shakes her head, “Well, Mikhailo, Math is a requirement to graduate. Grade 12 chemistry is only a requirement for certain college and university programs”.

“I can do math in another slot” he says, not understanding the problem.

“What I mean to say is, why are you taking Chemistry?” she asks, typing in her computer with a frown on her narrow face. Fucking bitch... Mickey glares at her, “You think I can’t go to fucking college? I can if I want to”.

“Watch your tone. I’m trying to be realistic to help you with your future goals. Do you really think you will go to college?”

“I don’t know…maybe” he answers defensively.

Ms. Allway gives him a look of such doubt that he bristles in anger, but instead of arguing she just shakes her head and types into her computer again.

“Okay. You’re in Mr. Richard’s second period Chemistry class. Which starts in ten minutes by the way, so you should get going. I see you’ve missed first period entirely”.

Mickey ignores her comment and just says acidly, “Thank you”. 

He slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads over to his Chemistry class, chewing on the corner of his lip as he scans the room. No Ian.

He grabs their old spot at the back of the classroom, not worried about anyone taking the seat next to him until he sees Becca and Ian enter the classroom at the same time, both of them heading towards him.

Ian’s face had lit up at the sight of him, and Mickey couldn’t help but grin, which Becca seemed to think was aimed at her, so he narrows his eyes at her and calls out, “Gallagher. Sit your ass down over here motherfucker”. He ignores wherever Becca goes in disappointment, and instead tries to hide his over the top happiness at successfully surprising Ian, who slides onto the stool next to him.

“Something in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” Mickey mutters quietly, leaning in towards him slightly.

Ian blushes, “Happy to see you. You switched in?”

“Course I did. Think I’m gonna give up the best lab partner in this shithole?”

Nothing brings Mickey more happiness than seeing he’s brought Ian some, so he sits there very pleased with himself while Mr. Richards begins their first class on volatile chemical compounds and lab safety. He vaguely notices Ian scribbling notes, although he isn’t sure why, this all review, until Ian shoves a crumbled ball of paper at him a couple minutes later.

Mickey takes it from him in confusion, but as he unwraps it he grins.

**_The guy sitting beside me in Chem is pretty hot_ **

“Mr. Gallagher, Mr. Milkovich, do you have something to share with the class? A new chemical compound perhaps? Why don’t you read that note out loud for us” Mr. Richards says, raising his eyebrow in annoyance at them for their interruption.

Mickey hears Ian gulp beside him but he stands up confidently, holding the paper in front of him as if he’s reading it.

“Sure thing Richards. It says ‘fuck you. It’s none of your goddamn business’”

The class stifles laughter, but Mr. Richards just rolls his eyes.

He’s one of the better teachers, one Mickey wouldn’t usually like to fuck with, but he’s not gonna read out the actual fucking note no matter who’s fucking asking.  He jams it deep into his pocket and heads for the door before Richards even tells him to.

“Office?” he asks as he breezes past.

“Office” the teacher confirms.

Mickey steals one glance back at Ian before he leaves, who looks relieved but a little guilty, so Mickey throws him a quick wink before he heads down the hallway to the office.

He yanks open the front office’s glass door and swaggers inside, throwing up his hands slightly as Ms. Allway looks up at him from where she’s standing beside the secretary.

“Miss me?” he asks.

She sighs, “First day Mikhailo, first day”.

Mickey laughs, why break tradition?


	63. A Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey engage in some stress relief, Mickey starts planning for Ian's birthday.

Ian pauses in the kitchen of the Gallagher home and looks out into the backyard at his brothers and sisters after he grabs two cans of Coke for himself and Mickey from the fridge.

It was their first weekend since the beginning of the new school year, and his brother Carl had dug out their old sprinkler so he could take advantage of the still hot early September weather. It hadn’t taken long for Debbie and Liam to join him, and then for Fiona and her new boyfriend Leroy to head out and supervise.

The cans of Coke are beginning to sweat in Ian’s hands, so he heads back upstairs to his bedroom, where Mickey is sitting on the floor, chewing on the end of his pen cap while he frowns at some of his chem homework.

Grade twelve was going to be their hardest year academically, that much was clear to both Ian and Mickey by this point, but neither was complaining yet. They had each other, and after going without last year, the rest of it all seemed sort of easy now.

“Everyone’s busy outside” Ian says happily, opening his Coke and taking a sip after he hands Mickey his.

“Yeah?” Mickey answers absentmindedly, narrowing his eyes at his Chemistry textbook like maybe he can intimidate it into giving him some fucking answers.

Ian rolls his eyes and heads to the bathroom, cranking on the shower dial. He then goes back into his bedroom and yanks off his shirt and throws it at his boyfriend, which finally gets his attention.

“What the fuck?”

“I said. Everyone. Is busy. Outside” Ian says, staring at him with each emphasized point.

Mickey finally gets it and grins, his dark eyebrow lifting in interest. “Well fuck homework then, get that ass in the shower”. He pushes Ian playfully back towards the bathroom.

“I’ve got half an hour before I have to get ready for work” Ian informs him, stripping down and stepping into the shower once he’s done. “Yeah, yeah” Mickey answers impatiently, stepping in behind him.

Ian passes him the bar of soap, planning to at least get his actual shower out of the way beforehand so he’s ready for work. “Do my back”. He hears Mickey snort as he takes the bar, “Okay princess”.

He closes his eyes as Mickey’s strong hands rub into his back anyways, massaging him just as much as he’s cleaning him. “Don’t drop the soap” he teases, groaning a little in pleasure as Mickey works out a stress knot.

“You’d fucking love that” Mickey shoots back, leaning in against his soapy back and passing one slippery hand down over his butt cheek.

“Mmm” Ian answers, letting Mickey grope at his ass for a while as he lifts his chin and lets the shower head spray down his chest. He feels an unmistakable poke from behind after a minute or two, and he smirks in response. “I think you want to fuck me” he hums, raising his eyebrow to the tiled wall.

Mickey kisses the back of his wet neck, once again pressing his erection up against his ass.

“What makes you think that, hmm Gallagher?”

His deep and husky tone makes Ian shiver slightly with want. Mickey might be able to take it without lube sometimes, but he still topped most of the time, and was much less practiced at taking it up the ass. “Get the Vaseline from underneath the sink”.

Mickey clambers out of the shower and then gets back in with an overly generous glob of Vaseline on his hand, tipping his head towards him. “Bend over a bit”.

Ian lowers himself a bit and bites his lip as Mickey pushes a slippery but warm finger inside of him very slowly, “How’s that?”

“Good” Ian answers, reminding his body to relax. It’s only the initial part that’s hard for him, as soon as Mickey starts reaching for his prostate with his fingers and then his dick, he’s a goner, begging for more.

He glances back over his shoulder to watch as Mickey gently fingers him open, his blue eyes focused and serious. His dark hair is wet and slicked down, with some stray black locks splayed across his forehead. His broad chest and his strong shoulders, muscles moving as he shifts his arm, are peppered with droplets of water as new ones form and old ones roll down his skin.

He’s beautiful.

“I’m ready” Ian tells him, Mickey glancing up at the sound of his voice.

Removing his fingers from inside of him, he grabs Ian’s hips and then leans forward to give him a kiss, before he lines himself up with his hand and gently pushes the head of his cock into his ass first.

Ian turns back around to face the shower wall and hisses as he goes the rest of the way more quickly, before his voice lets go into a low moan.

He can feel Mickey get harder from the sound, panting, “Ahhh, fuck”.

What Ian can’t see is Mickey standing behind him, his eyes running down every inch of Ian’s body appreciatively, pausing especially long at his flaming red hair.

He pushes harder, pulling Ian closer towards him with each thrust as he works into a steady rhythm.

Ian shifts slightly where he’s standing, and moans into his arm as the position change sends a jolt of pleasure throughout his entire body.

Mickey’s style of fucking is very different from his, less refined, usually more rough, but when they are both in the mood to switch things up, it’s fucking amazing.

“Jerk my cock” Ian breathes out, feeling one of Mickey’s hands immediately leave his hip in response and move to stroke his dick expertly. It had been hanging heavy and neglected, teased by the inner stimulation alone.

The combination of both sources of pleasure soon has him grunting and closing his eyes in ecstasy. “I’m gonna come soon” he breathes out.

Ian hears Mickey let out a proud moan behind him, and he bites his lip, knowing what will get Mickey off faster.

“Fuck me harder”.

“Babe” Mickey gasps out, really giving it to him now. Ian grits his teeth as he is jerked forward from each thrust, “Fuck that’s good. Jesus Christ”.

The feeling builds and builds and builds inside him until his orgasm rolls through him so hard that it makes him feel weak in the knees for a moment, his cum shooting straight over Mickey’s tattooed hand and for the drain.

“Just another…” Mickey sorts of verbalizes behind him, but it’s mostly incoherent until he starts his chorus of “ _Fuck’s”_ a few moments later, moving his hand back to Ian’s hip as Ian feels a flooding warmth released inside him.

“God damn” Mickey swears appreciatively as he pulls out, Ian turning around to give him a kiss. He wipes a mixture of sweat and water off his forehead, accepting the loving kisses Ian gives him and talking in between them about how he needs to do this more often.

And then Fiona’s voice is at the bathroom door, “Ian? Is that you in there?”

“Jesus Christ, have we ever had a shower where someone didn’t fucking interrupt?” Mickey complains quietly.

“Yes” Ian answers in amusement, and then repeats it louder for his sister, “Yes!”

“Is…is Mickey in there with you?”

“Yes” Mickey answers in annoyance, “Why?”

“Well I was gonna ask if Liam could use the toilet but I think we’ll just go back downstairs” she says, sounding amused.

“We’re done, just a second” Ian answers, stepping out and wrapping a towel around himself, Mickey doing the same.

The two of them walk out of the bathroom still dripping with towels slung around their waists, “Sup little man” Mickey says, as he passes by Liam and Fiona.

“Ian! Put away the Vaseline next time!” Fiona complains from the bathroom a moment later. Ian grins at Mickey as he closes the bedroom door behind them, “That was all you”.

Mickey shrugs, “Your house dude”.

“Alright, well I gotta get ready for ROTC. Wanna give me a ride?” Ian asks as he starts to pull on his uniform after patting the rest of his body dry.

“Just did” Mickey teases, and then adds slightly more seriously, “But yeah, I’ll give you a ride”.

 

***Mickey’s P.O.V***

When Mickey first got his motorcycle, he never really considered having a passenger on it half the time, but something about riding with Ian made it even more freeing.

Although, with the one helmet, they were limited to where they could go. No busy roads, and no highways of course, because Mickey wasn’t looking to get charged again.

But he has an idea for Ian’s birthday, to get him his own brand new one.

The only problem is, helmets are fucking expensive, and it’s only a week away now, so it’s time to figure out how to get that cash. His dad isn’t in the game right now, and even if he was, he did promise Ian he’d stay out of it, but robbery was just as risky.

He thinks about other possible options as he drives Ian to the ROTC training facility for his shift, and he watches with some pride as Ian gets off his bike, looking handsome in his uniform.

He didn’t care if people knew if they were a couple or not, he fucking knew, and he knew he was a lucky guy.

Some kids getting dropped off run over to Ian right away, as soon as he takes the helmet off and hands it to Mickey.

“Ian! Ian!”

“Hey guys! High fives? Nice!” Ian passes around his raised hand and accepts the high fives from the kids happily, turning to smile at him. The look on his face causes a warm twist in Mickey’s chest, a feeling he can never quite explain, but one he just gets when he sees Ian happy.

He’d felt like shit for losing him his job at the Kash & Grab, but this was so much better for him anyways. He loves kids, he’s good with them, and he knows how to run the class easily, so he gets anxious much less often now. What could be wrong with that?

Mickey also notices how two of the little girls look at Ian, and he smirks to himself. Little kid crushes, he can recognize that. His boyfriend is a heartthrob, and the thought makes him laugh softly to himself.

The kids notice him too, and Ian says, “This is my best friend. Mickey”. Mickey raises his hand and waves at them casually, but the kids are clearly more interested in Ian.

“Have a good shift” Mickey says, giving him a subtle wink as Ian starts to head inside with the portion of his class that’s gathered around him.

“Thanks, see you later”.

Mickey waits until he’s inside and out of sight before he pulls out his phone, making a call to the only person he can think of that will help him out with his financial dilemma.

“Rob? Hey…I have a favor to ask”.

“What’s that Mickey?”

“It’s Ian’s birthday next week. I want to get him his own helmet, but they’re expensive as fuck man” Mickey tells him, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah but don’t skimp on them, you need a good solid helmet like yours to be safe. Even with those, it’s risky. And do you mean to be telling me you’ve been letting him ride around without a helmet all this time?” Rob’s voice suddenly shifts to concern.

“No! Of course not. I give him mine”.

“Jesus Christ Mickey, you’re giving me chest pains”.

“Shut up, you’re not old” Mickey laughs, “But I wanted to ask, I only have about half the money in savings for another one, could I take a loan from you for the rest? Cause I helped you fix your cars and shit when I was out there”.

“You worked for it, so yes. And no more not wearing helmets Mickey. Where are all the cops in Chicago anyways?”

“Busy with their thumbs up their asses, anywhere but the South Side” Mickey laughs, “Thanks Rob. Appreciate it man”.

“I’ll transfer it over to your account. Get a good one. Anyways I gotta get back to work, talk later?”

“Sure. See ya man”.

Mickey hangs up his phone and puts his own helmet back on. It’s a bit of a drive to the nearest motorcycle repair and parts shop, but he knows they have helmets there too.

He takes a while choosing one he thinks Ian will like, while also selecting from their top of the line safety picks, and pays for it with his debit card that Rob had helped him set up while he was in Memphis, letting out a small breath of relief when the charge goes through.

Mickey rests the bag on the handle of his motorcycle and drives home with it, taking it out again to carry in his arms as he goes inside his house.

He sees his dad in the kitchen as he goes in to get a drink, and grabbing a pop for himself, he looks back at Terry thoughtfully.

Rob had come through for him, just like that. He gave a shit. How come this prick never could?

The older Mickey gets, the less he wants to be like the dick in front of him. He had two people to thank for that really. Ian, and Rob.

“Hey” Mickey says challengingly to his dad, taking a obnoxious slurp of his pop as Terry looks up at him in annoyance.

He braces himself, but he smiles even as he says it.

“You’re a fucking asshole”.

The smack upside the head was worth saying it to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Mick stands up to his dad *thumbs up emoji* our boy is growing up :') 
> 
> Also! shoutout to guest reader Whiskygirl1109 for your comments on all of my works and chapters, I love reading them. That same thank you goes to everyone else who frequently comments, it makes writing these fics more interactive and its great :)


	64. Ian Gallagher Turns 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian celebrates his birthday with his boyfriend, and his family.

Ian grins as he comes downstairs in the morning to find all of his brothers and sisters, already sitting at the kitchen table, enthusiastically shouting “Happy Birthday!” at him.

“Thanks” he says, taking a seat as Fiona slides a plate of pancakes in front of him and gives him a kiss on top of his head. She ruffles his hair as she pulls away, “How’s it feel, being seventeen?”

“Even better than sixteen” Ian answers, checking the time. “You let me sleep in”.  “It’s your birthday” she snorts, looking at him like he’s being ridiculous.

“Mickey here yet?” he asks, even as he glances around the table and confirms the answer for himself.  

“Nope, but I’m sure he’ll be by soon” Fiona answers, taking his plate once he’s finished. “Hurry up guys, you’re gonna be late for school!”

Ian grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulder as his younger siblings race upstairs. Fiona looks up at him as he heads for the front door, “Hurry home after work alright? Barbequing starts at seven, with or without you, birthday boy”.

Ian laughs as she winks at him and bounds up the stairs after his younger siblings.

As he opens the front door and steps out into the September sunshine, he sees Mickey outside waiting for him, holding a rather large and beat up looking box. Just the sight of him causes a warm glow in his chest.

“Turn around, and go right back inside” Mickey immediately says, walking up to and then backing Ian right back into the house. “…Why?” Ian asks in confusion, looking behind himself so he doesn’t trip over anything as Mickey quickly closes the front door.

“So I can do this”.

Mickey puts the box down on the ground and then reaches for Ian’s face, holding it with both his hands as he pulls him into an incredibly soft and tender kiss, that ends with a little more urgency. Ian feels breathless as he pulls away, and his eyes flutter back open to look into Mickey’s blue ones, who’s smiling so big his eyes are crinkled in the corners.

“Happy birthday”. Ian grins, “Thanks”.

Really, this right here would have been enough for him. If only he could have known last year that just a few days after his sixteenth birthday, Mickey would take him by surprise on a school field trip, and that they would fall ridiculously hard for each other no matter how hard they both tried to fight it.

“That’s your gift, but save it for tonight eh?” Mickey says, pointing at the box and dragging Ian from his thoughts.

He nods at the box, “Okay…we have to get going for school anyways. Come on”.

Ian gives Mickey one more kiss before they head out the front door again together, the last thing Ian wanting is for either of them to get a detention for being late on his birthday. If he didn’t show up for his own party, Fiona would probably kill him.

His school day is fairly typical, although Fiona had given him some money to go out for lunch with Mickey instead of bringing something from home, so they get burgers and cokes together after Chemistry class.

“You should have booked the day off” Mickey says pointedly, taking a long pull from his drink as he finishes up his food.

Ian shrugs, “Party’s not til later anyways, and we can always use the money at home”. Celebrating any birthday always put a dent in their funds. His boyfriend nods, “Yeah, I get that. I’d pick you up after but Fiona asked me to come help set everything up”.

“Best not to piss off my sister” Ian laughs, “Mandy coming?” “Do Milkoviches ever turn down free food and booze?” Mickey answers, wiping his mouth and clearing up the wrappers from their food as Ian stands up to leave.

They walk back to school together, and Ian says goodbye to him happily at his locker before he heads to his next class. Planning to carpool to ROTC, he won’t see him again until that evening, and he already can’t wait to get off work.

 

* **Mickey’s POV- That evening** *

“Tape, Liam” Mickey directs. The little boy grabs the tape in his small hand and hands it towards Mickey, who mutters thanks as he tries to hold all the newspaper in place before he tapes it down.

They didn’t have any fucking wrapping paper at home, but he’d been banking on the Gallagher’s having some. Now he’s stuck with fucking newspaper.

It didn’t _really_ matter what it was wrapped in anyways, but to be honest he’s little nervous now for Ian to open his gift. He had felt it was a really good idea before, but had started having doubts the past hour or so. It was his bike, not Ian’s, and Ian didn’t even have a license….so what use did he have for a helmet unless he was being driven around by Mickey?

Maybe he should have gotten something more practical… He finally tells himself to shut the fuck up silently, because Ian will probably fucking love it, and he’s likely getting worked up for nothing.

He just wanted Ian’s birthday to be perfect, that was all. He’d spent almost forty minutes just deciding what to wear for his party, before finally settling on a black dress shirt that Ian had always liked and some semi-casual dress shoes.

“Mickey honey, can you take this?” V asks, shoving a bowl of potato salad at him as her and Kev come in the front door.

“Sure” he grunts, ignoring Mandy’s amused look at him being helpful, he takes it and slides it onto the kitchen table. Fiona looks up and then makes her typical girly shriek at the sight of her best friend, running over to give her a hug while Kev just goes straight for the beers. Which isn’t a bad idea, Mickey thinks.

Ian walks in the front door just a few minutes later, and Mickey feels himself finally relax at the sight of him. He looks a little worn out, and his uniform is a bit dirty, but he seems happy at the sight of the full house and the decorations.

Ian crouches down to pet Mo as the dog heads right for him, wiggling his backside against Ian’s legs until he gets some attention and scratches.  “How was work?” Mickey asks, coming over to touch him on the arm too. “Tiring” Ian admits as he stands up again, “I’m starving”.

“We’re doing burgers” Debbie informs her older brother as she joins them in the living room, followed by Carl. “Barbeque! Hell yeah!” Carl exclaims, turning to run for the backyard and the grill. Mickey immediately strides after him, “Hands off the fuckin grill, I’m cooking tonight”.

Knowing Carl, he’d probably blow them all to pieces if he touched that thing.

Mickey’s focusing on the sizzling burgers in front of him not long after and absentmindedly listening to the conversations of everyone behind him, all sitting in lawn chairs and across the deck, when he feels someone come up behind him.

He smiles to himself even before the long arms wrap around his stomach, giving him a squeeze around his middle. “Do I gotta wear a fucking kiss the cook apron or are you gonna take a hint?” Mickey says, raising his eyebrows and turning to look at his grinning ginger boyfriend.

“I would pay to see you in that apron” Ian answers, but he leans in and gives him a kiss that deepens as Mickey turns away from the grill and towards him, holding on to Ian’s arm as he kisses him more passionately.

“They’re gonna burn!” he hears Debbie yell beside him a few moments later, causing everyone to look over at them. Mickey blushes as he pulls away and flips the burgers, not realizing how long he’d kept the kiss going.

* **Ian’s POV- A little while later** *

Ian grins as he squeezes a ketchup heart over a burger and slides it over to Mickey with the top bun on the side, who shakes his head at the sight of it. “Shouldn’t I be making yours?”

Ian licks a smear of ketchup off his hand, pleased with his cheesy gesture. “It’s not too late”.

He sits down beside his boyfriend a few minutes later and contentedly eats the similarly decorated burger Mickey hands him while his family and their friends all chatter happily in the backyard.

There’s a gentle gust of wind that dances through the backyard while they are sitting there after dinner, and it rustles the trees softly, catching his attention. Ian looks up and notices the sun going down, and he takes in a deep and happy breath, leaning his head against Mickey’s, who reaches over and takes his hand, gently grazing it with his thumb.

“I love you” Ian says thoughtfully, and he feels Mickey squeeze his hand.

“I love you too Gallagher”. He hears Mo start to bark from inside the house, and Mickey stands up, “Gotta be your cake”.

Ian looks after him, baffled, as he heads inside.

“He ordered me a cake?” he asks Fiona, frowning.

“Yeah he insisted on it” she says, laughing until they hear Mickey swearing inside, “What the fuck is this?” And then what must be the delivery guy, “T-that’s the cake you ordered sir”.

“No it’s fucking not! I said happy birthday _Ian_ , are your bakers fucking dyslexic or something?”

Ian quickly gets up and heads inside, sensing an argument about to break out. “What’s going on?” he calls ahead of himself, before he joins a very annoyed looking Mickey and a very flustered looking delivery guy at the front door.

“Don’t fucking look” Mickey says, “We’re not taking this one”. Ian glances at the cake anyways. “ _Happy Birthday Ann_ ” is delicately handwritten across it in chocolate icing.

Ian bursts out laughing, “Oh my god I love it”.

The delivery guy practically lets out a sigh of relief, glancing just one more at Mickey’s FUCK U UP tattoos before he takes the opportunity to back out of the house and make a beeline for his van while Mickey is still distracted.

Mickey looks at Ian uncertainly, “It’s not what I asked for”. “It’s fine!” Ian exclaims, sticking his finger in the icing beside the A and dragging a line to make an I. He adds a couple more n’s at the end too.

“ _Happy Birthday IAnnnn_ ”

He pops his finger inside his mouth, “Mmm”. That’s damn good icing.

He takes another swipe of it with his finger from the edge of the cake and sticks it out for Mickey to try, who rolls his eyes but tries it anyways. “Jesus” Mickey says, shaking his head, “At least it’s fucking good”.

He carries the cake into the kitchen where the rest of his family laughs at the misspelling too, and Debbie carefully places in his seventeen candles, Mickey pulling his lighter out of his pocket to light them all.

“Make a wish!” Fiona reminds Ian as he leans in in front of the cake and they all watch him prepare to blow out his candles.

Ian stops and smiles, looking at his cake for another moment before he looks back up across from it at Mickey’s handsome face, illuminated by the delicate candlelight.

His blue eyes flicker back up into Ian’s, and he smiles too, nodding his head just slightly as if to tell him to go for it.

Ian closes his eyes for a moment and makes his wish, blowing out his candles all at once with one huge gust of air.

After his cake, which Mickey claims was worth the damn money, and it was a pretty delicious chocolate and caramel cake with a vanilla bean buttercream frosting, Ian starts to open his presents from his family, Mandy, and then Kev and V.

All in all, he rakes in sixty dollars, new work boots, and a new pair of decent headphones. And then Mickey hands him the box he’d seen that morning, except now it’s wrapped in newspaper.

“Um?” Ian asks, laughing as he takes it in his hands.

“What? I didn’t have any fuckin wrapping paper” Mickey says, grinning.

He leans in behind Ian’s chair and rests his hands on his shoulders as he tears off the wrapping paper, and then cuts open the box with his pocket knife, still in the pocket of his work pants.

“Jesus Mickey” he hears Lip say, who’s standing beside him and can see into the box the second he opens it.

Ian pulls out the brand new, sleek motorcycle helmet, and turns it in his hands. He breathes out as he looks at it, recognizing the helmet. He’d gone looking for one himself once so Mickey wouldn’t always need to loan him his, but he’d had to turn around at the $400 price tag.

It’s the same helmet, one of the safest in the line, an AGV dual sport. And printed in small custom lettering on the left side, right where his jaw would be, is ‘Gallagher’.

He doesn’t know what to say, and as the rest of his family whistles or makes impressed comments, Ian just looks at it, running his finger over the engraving until he hears Mickey’s slightly worried voice behind him.

“If, um, if you don’t like it-“

Ian turns around and swallows the lump in his throat, “I love it”.

The rest of his family starts talking again, filling the kitchen with volume, and Mickey leans in beside Ian’s head, whispering happily into his ear.

 “Now we can go anywhere”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Ian wished for?  
> I would guess that he would wish for a happy future with Mickey <3


	65. Where He Goes, I Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian turns to Mickey in desperation when his birthday night gets ugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more teenage angst and conflict because honestly I can't just write happy shit all the time (as much as I love it) because it feels like it doesn't fit the Shameless world. And I want it to be a little more realistic.  
> But for those of you that worry, Ian & Mickey will go through whatever they go through from this point on, together. No breakups, just challenges in their relationship that will strengthen it.  
> :)

“Did you have a good birthday?” Mickey asks, wrapping his arms around Ian. Ian nods wordlessly, still too happy to speak. Mickey pulls away and presses his forehead against his, holding it there for a moment before he leans in and kisses him again, his lips softly opening again Ian’s.

Ian closes his eyes to accept the kiss, falling deeper into it until they hear an impatient voice from the other room.

“Mickey! Hurry up!”

Mandy.

Mickey reluctantly pulls away, and smiles at Ian once more before frowning in the direction of his sister, “Coming! Chill the fuck out”.

He gives Ian one last kiss who follows him to the door afterwards, where Mandy pulls him into a quick hug. “Thanks for coming” he says, smiling at her when she lets go.

“Thanks for having me. And happy birthday Ian, you’re a pretty good brother-in-law” she teases, her eyes flashing towards her older brother as she does.

Mickey and Ian both blush slightly, and Mickey rolls his eyes as they step out of the house, hurrying her along. “C’mon Mands. See you tomorrow Ian”.

“See you tomorrow” Ian answers, watching them leave from the doorway. He notices that Mickey waits until they are on the sidewalk before elbowing his sister just slightly while whispering something in annoyance. Whatever he says, she just laughs at it and puts her arm on his shoulder as they disappear down the road.

Ian closes the front door and heads back to the kitchen where Fiona is now cleaning up, and sits down at the table, picking up his new motorcycle helmet in his hands again.

He admires it some more and then smiles to himself as he thinks about what Mandy said. _Brother-in-law._ He wonders if Mickey has ever said something to her about…about maybe…

The doorbell rings and Ian looks up as Fiona goes to answer it, wondering if Mickey or Mandy had forgotten something and came back.

The voice that he hears at the door immediately makes his stomach turn, and his head jerks towards the sound.

“Where’s Ian?”

It’s his mom’s voice, and Ian immediately tenses. They hadn’t been in touch since last Christmas, regardless of her promise to call.

“F-frank, Monica…we talked about this. No surprise visits” he hears Fiona stammer in surprise. “It is our _son’s_ seventeenth birthday” he hears Frank answer in annoyance, and then he hears them coming into the house, ignoring Fiona’s protests.

Ian sits there at the table and stares, his jaw set as his mother and father comes into the kitchen and act all excited to see him. Well, his mother more than his father.

“Happy birthday baby!” Monica coos at him, “What a cool helmet”.

Her heavy eye makeup is a little smeared, and it looks like maybe they got caught in the light rain that fell an hour or so ago.

“What are you doing here” he responds coldly, more of a statement than a question.

“It’s your birthday!” they both answer, as if it’s more than obvious. Ian stares at them with incredulity, did they really think he wanted to see them? Or were they just bent on pretending that they cared this time?

The rest of his siblings, also hearing the commotion and recognizing the voices, slowly trickle into the kitchen and stare at their parents as well, other than Liam, who is still upstairs sleeping.

But Ian’s recognized this look on his parents a million times before, and his older siblings have as well. They are definitely high, or drunk. Maybe both.

“I don’t want you here” he answers acidly.

Fiona bites her lip, “Really, you guys shouldn’t just show up. It’s Ian’s birthday, and I don’t think-“

“We are the reason you are even _alive”_ Frank says, sneering and leaning in towards him. Ian smells the beer on his breath, and he’s vaguely aware of Monica stepping away from beside his dad and heading up the stairs quietly, but he’s too agitated by the man in front of him to really register it.

“Thanks for the fucking favor. Now do me another one and fuck off” Ian spits, trying to push Frank out of his way so he can leave the kitchen. Instead of moving, Frank punches him right in the jaw, sending him flying back into his chair.

Ian hadn’t been expecting the swing at all, and he hits the ground hard, spitting out the blood that  begins to gather around his teeth. His mouth tastes like copper.  Lip immediately grabs Frank by the front of his coat and backs him out of the kitchen even as he’s swearing and yelling, and Fiona quickly moves in front of Carl and Debbie protectively.  

“Get out!” she says angrily, “Every fucking time I swear…and where’s Monica? Monica it’s time for you to leave!” she yells, looking around the house in annoyance.

Ian holds his jaw and glares at his mother as she comes back down the stairs, “I just wanted to say to Liam” she whispers softly, pausing at the bottom step.

She looks so childlike, so lost, that Ian just shakes his head. “Please just go” he says, turning away.

“Ian…” she comes towards him and crouches beside him on the floor, reaching out to run her hand over his head tenderly. Ian wants to pull away at first, but he doesn’t, instead looking at her through eyes threatening to let tears form.  

“I love you” she says, her own eyes watery. Ian shakes his head, “If you did, you wouldn’t do this over and over again. Please leave”. He says it as calmly as he can, but there’s a storm brewing inside him as he tries to act like he doesn’t care.

Monica’s eyes drift over him once more before she gets up and looks at the rest of them, “I love you guys” she says, before heading to where Frank and Lip are still struggling by the front door. She nods at Frank and then grabs his t-shirt gently, and he immediately stops fighting Lip.

Lip follows them outside to make sure that they really leave, and the door slams behind the three of them.

As soon as it’s closed, Fiona turns to him, her brown eyes filled with apology.

“Ian…I had no idea-“

“I know you didn’t” he snaps in annoyance. Like he was stupid enough to think anyone would invite Frank and Monica over.

She sighs, turning away from him. “Kids…bedtime. I’m sorry this shit happened again”.

With a shaking hand, Ian rummages in his pocket for a cigarette while the rest of them head upstairs, but when Lip comes back and tries to follow him, he tells him he just wants to be alone.

Smoking does nothing to help Ian’s agitation though, and after his second useless light, he grinds the cigarette into the ground angrily, swearing as he heads back inside.

His head is starting to swim, and he feels the stress starting to spill over. When he comes inside, Fiona is sitting in the kitchen with her head in her hands, pulling at the roots of her hair gently in distress.

Her worried expression deepens as she looks at him, “Ian…you look sick”. “I’m…I’m not…” he struggles to get the words out of his dry mouth, sitting down at the table and shaking his head in annoyance.

“I’ll get you your Ativan” she immediately says, jogging up the stairs.

Ian bites his lip and waits, badly in need of the relief. He didn’t need them too often anymore, but when he did, he really did.

He hears Fiona call down a minute later, “Ian, did you forget to renew your prescription? The bottle’s empty”.

“No?” he calls out in confusion.

 “There’s nothing in it” she yells back, “I’ll look, maybe you have another bottle”.

“Never mind... I don’t have another” he answers slowly.

It dawns on Ian all at once as he sits there alone at the kitchen table.

Empty pill bottle. Frank starting a fight. Monica sneaking upstairs. Empty pill bottle.

Did they really come over under the guise of celebrating his birthday, just to steal from their kids?

Without thinking, Ian grabs his backpack and shoves some shirts from the laundry pile in the living room into it, pulling out his phone and texting Mickey at the same time. “ **I need you. Please, I need you** ”.

Without Mickey questioning it, he gets back, “ **On my way** ” within a minute, and Ian grabs his helmet and goes to sit on the front porch, his leg bouncing up and down against the wooden step.

Mickey comes tearing down the road on his motorcycle about ten minutes later, and he brakes in front of the Gallagher house, slowly taking off his helmet as Ian comes over to him, practically in tears.

“What the fuck happened Ian?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just go?” he begs, looking at his boyfriend through desperate eyes.

Mickey looks up at him in concern, “ _Go_? Go where? I don’t think-“ He glances up as Fiona comes out onto the front porch, looking at them and holding her hands like she doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

“You said we could go anywhere. You said that. Did you mean it or not?” Ian demands, wiping the tear that falls without permission from his left eye.  

“Yeah, of course I did” Mickey answers more softly, nodding at Fiona, who just shakes her head and heads back into the house in exasperation.

Mickey bites his lip and then looks at him, lifting his shoulders slightly. “Where to?”

“Anywhere. Fucking far away from here”.

Mickey nods as Ian pulls the helmet down over his head. It fits perfectly, and Mickey pushes his own helmet back down over his head as Ian gets on the bike behind him, holding him so tightly he knows it’s probably uncomfortable for his boyfriend.

But he doesn’t complain, he just starts his motorcycle again and wheels the bike around before he takes off down the road.

To who knows where. Anywhere.

Ian can’t even see inside his helmet after a while, it steams up a bit and condenses over his visor. Mickey tries to pull over about an hour later, feeling Ian shaking slightly behind him, but Ian just chokes out, “Keep going”.

It’s muffled from behind his helmet, but Mickey nods from underneath his and then keeps going.

A few hours later, Mickey slows the bike again after they pass a sign for Iowa, and this time Ian doesn’t stop him right away.

He sits there on the bike until Mickey gets off and forces his helmet off after he removes his own. He wipes away some of the mess of tears and sweat of Ian’s hot cheeks and says firmly. “I’ll take you anywhere Ian. But I need to know you’re fucking okay first”.

“I’m okay…I just need to get away. They stole my pills” Ian says, staring at the ground.

“What? Who… Your fuckin anxiety pills?”

Ian nods, feeling it starting to rise in his chest again as he admits bitterly, “My mom and dad”.  

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Mickey shakes his head and spits onto the pavement angrily, he can’t believe what he’s hearing. He’d grown up around the same shit, sure, but the thought that someone could do that to Ian…

“Fucking assholes…no Ian, we need to go back. You need that shit”.

“No I don’t” Ian suddenly yells at him, “I need to not be there. That’s what I fucking need Mickey. Are you coming with me or not? Cause I’ll find a fucking bus if I need to”.

“Shut the fuck up” Mickey says, grabbing him. He gives Ian such a hard kiss, he has to catch his breath again when he pulls away. “You know I’m coming with you”.

“Then let’s go” Ian answers firmly, putting his helmet back on. Mickey doesn’t hesitate, and gets back on his bike, driving until he’s nearly out of gas.

He’s getting more and more tired, but he’s determined to be whatever Ian needs him to be, and right now it’s a getaway. When his gas gauge gets alarmingly low, he pulls into a gas station to fill up his bike. Ian doesn’t protest, and instead waits there quietly while Mickey fills up the tank.

Mickey checks his phone, seeing the screen lit up with notifications. It’s already five in the morning “Your sister called me a few times. Can I call her back?” He thought they had an understanding when she went back inside back at the Gallagher house, but now she was clearly worried.

He’s relieved when Ian nods, seeming much calmer now. Mickey holds the phone up to his ear and yawns until he hears Fiona’s strained voice on the other line, “Mickey?? What’s going on? Please tell me he’s still with you”.

Mickey glances back at Ian, who’s head is now drooping inside his helmet. “Hey Fiona. Yeah he’s with me. I think he just needs a break… he said something about Frank and Monica taking his shit”.

Fiona groans into the phone, “I didn’t realize…fuck. When are you coming back?” Mickey shrugs, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. “I don’t know…but I’ll take care of him. Promise”.

She sighs, clearly giving in to her exhaustion. “Fine…please keep in touch with me if he won’t. And Mickey? Please stay with him”.

“Don’t worry, where he goes, I go. Talk later Fiona” Mickey hangs up his phone and looks at Ian, who just looks lost. “I’m sorry” the redhead whispers quietly.

“Don’t be sorry” Mickey answers, “I’m here for you. Always. You and me together. Right?”

Ian eventually nods, “Right. Listen, it’s not safe if you drive while you’re tired. I have enough money for a motel for a night or two. Let’s try and find one”.

Mickey shrugs, thinking it over. “Ian, it’s still warm as hell out. Save the money, we can camp outside”. He’s not sure exactly what Ian’s thinking, or what he wants from this trip, but he’s in it.

“Okay” Ian yawns. It doesn’t take them too long to find a quiet and empty road where they can camp out a few yards away underneath the open sky.

The grass is soft enough, and Mickey lays down on his back, offering Ian his arm for a pillow, which Ian takes gratefully, resting his own arm across Mickey’s chest.

The two of them are exhausted after their long day, and pass out within minutes.


	66. You Make The Bad Times Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey, while running away together, decide on a romantic (and less than legal) getaway.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Ian comes out of the convenience store and waves the bag of turkey jerky in his hand towards Mickey, who taps his cigarette against his motorcycle and raises his eyebrow as he gets closer.

“Trying to bribe me Gallagher?”

“No. You’re already coming with me”, Ian smiles, “But I did get some of your favorites”. He hands Mickey the Snickers bar next, which earns him a soft smile in response.

“And I got this” Ian adds, digging through the plastic bag filled with snacks again and pulling out a road map next.

Mickey puts his cigarette in his mouth and takes the map, unfolding it over his bike. The two of them run their eyes over it, and Mickey turns to Ian.

“Well, where we headed Gallagher?”

Ian shrugs and smiles as he looks at the map, trying to decide. Realistically, he narrows in a zone that’s feasible for him and Mickey to travel to on a motorcycle, and then considers how long he can make his money stretch.

He finally places his finger on a point on the map, tapping it. “There”.

Mickey drops his finished cigarette butt to the asphalt, squinting at the map as he does. “Ephraim? Why, what’s there?”

“I don’t know” Ian answers, “That’s just where I want to go”.

On their road map, it’s a location close to the very end of a slice of land that edges narrowly into lake Michigan.

“Probably cottage country” Mickey muses, looking at the map. “Trip’s probably about eight hours I think, so we better split it or our asses are gonna be too sore after to do any exploring”.

“You’re gonna have a sore ass, but it’s not gonna be from your bike” Ian answers, not looking away from the map until he hears Mickey start to laugh.

It’s a beautiful sound.

 “I’m gonna fuckin hold you to that” Mickey answers, one eyebrow lifting expressively as he slides on his helmet and swings his leg back over his bike.

He turns back to Ian, and pushes up his visor. “You coming Gallagher?”

Ian grins, shoving his helmet back down, he climbs on the back of the bike and wraps his arms around Mickey, giving him a thumbs up.

“Let’s ride” he says, knowing without looking, that Mickey’s smiling too.

 

* **Mickey’s POV** *

 The Enduro hums underneath their combined weight as Mickey pulls back onto the road, quickly finding the 151 highway again.

They can’t really talk while Mickey drives, because it’s hard to hear anything over the loud motorcycle engine and the occasional cars whipping past, but there still unspoken communication between them during the entire journey.

Like how Ian squeezes Mickey every so often to say _I love you_ , and Mickey nods his helmet, _I love you too_.

They pass through rural roads and small towns, busier highways, and over bridges before they reach Madison around four hours later.

Mickey’s starting to get a little tired again, because unlike driving in a car, travelling on a motorcycle requires both riders to be focused and alert, especially attentive to their surroundings, and to sit with their body in a particular position.

He’s glad to pull over in Madison, seeing a small and cheap looking diner with promises of fresh pie and coffee right off the main road. He stretches and groans a bit as he gets off his bike, hearing Ian do the same.

“Bring your helmet” Mickey tells him as they head towards the diner, glancing over in surprise when Ian takes his hand. It’s warm, and Mickey raises his eyebrow, but secretly… he’s pretty pleased.

He pushes the diner door open casually and him and Ian find a table in the corner, both of them sinking into the comfortable booth seats happily. The second the waitress comes over, before she even opens her mouth, Mickey yawns and swears “Fuck I need a coffee”.

Her eyebrows lift just slightly in response, “Alright…coffee, and for you?” she turns to Ian who nods in agreement, “Same for me please”. 

Returning with their cups of coffee, she’s hit with their orders almost instantly, including slices of pie for dessert, and she returns with those almost as quickly.

Mickey starts to dive in right away, moaning as he gets his burger to his mouth, he’s so fucking hungry. But Ian stops eating after a little while and is just looking across the table at him, some unreadable expression on his face.

“What?” Mickey asks through his mouthful, frowning slightly. Was he changing his mind about doing this?

Ian lets out a deep breath, “I don’t know. I just, can’t believe you agreed to do this with me, drop everything and go just because I asked you to”.

Appreciation. That’s the look on his face. That and a little awe.

Mickey swallows hard, wiping his mouth a bit on his napkin before he answers. “Ian”, he lowers his voice, “I would do anything for you. You know that, right? That’s what love is man, good times and bad”.

“Yeah well, you make the bad times good” Ian answers, reaching across the table for his hand again.

Mickey looks at the pale hand holding his own slightly dirtier one, his aggressive tattoos standing out in sharp contrast against their skin.

The thing was, it wasn’t hard for Mickey to drop everything and follow him, because Ian _was_ his everything. He’d never had someone in his life before that truly made him feel like he wasn’t going through it alone.

He squeezes Ian’s hand back, smiling as Ian goes back to his food. Mickey’s soon too full to even finish his pie, but Ian eagerly does it for him, even licking his fork when he’s done.

Full and satisfied, Ian pays their bill and they head back outside, Mickey pulling out the folded map from the pocket of his jeans to check their route again.

He glances over towards Ian, who is few feet away lighting one of his occasional cigarettes, but his glance quickly turns into a gaze.

There’s just something about the way the sunlight hits Ian Gallagher’s red hair that makes Mickey’s heart feels like it’s on fucking fire. Makes him feel like he’d go to the ends of the fuckin earth for this boy, without a second thought.

Ian blows out some smoke and comes over to him, studying the map Mickey had been meaning to. “We need to stay on the 151 for a bit longer, but then let’s switch and take the exit to… highway 26, past Lake Winnebago”.

Mickey looks at the route he’s pointing out, “Alright, then 41 to Green Bay. If you wanna stop then, let me know, but if we keep going it’s 57 all the way to the place and we’ll be there in like four hours man”.

The smile on Ian’s face is enthusiastic as hell, considering they don’t even fucking know anything about Ephraim, but Ian seems to be sticking to his initial decision.

“You gonna call your sister?” he asks, reaching for his helmet and then pausing as he remembers his promise to the eldest Gallagher sibling.

Ian thinks for a moment before he nods, pulling out his cellphone and wandering a few feet away while he waits for Fiona to answer.

Mickey can only hear half of the conversation of course, but Ian is all smiles and nods to himself as he starts telling his sister they are going on a road trip together, and that he’ll come home soon.

Mickey’s not quite sure what he means by soon, but he watches with interest as Ian hangs up his phone and comes back over, before leaning in towards him.

He closes his eyes as Ian surprises him with a passionate kiss, reaching with his hand to stroke the side of Mickey’s face gently. He feels one finger separate from the rest and run across his jawline more strongly, and he shifts on his bike to hold Ian back, pressing his tongue into the kiss.

Ian’s own meets his halfway, but after a few minutes of this, he pulls away, grabbing his helmet again. “Let’s get there before it gets dark” he says, grinning a bit sheepishly at Mickey’s played look of annoyance.

 “Alright, alright” Mickey answers, readjusting his semi before he puts his own helmet back on.

Wherever they end up tonight, he’s hoping it’s somewhere where Ian can give it to him good.

Thinking about this, he almost misses the turnoff for highway 41, but maybe Ian can sense that, because he pinches him and gets his attention just in time to switch lanes.

The rest of the trip is smooth sailing, as the roads get quieter and more rural, and he feels Ian relaxing more and more behind him, before finally resting his head against the back of Mickey’s.

The sun is setting by the time they pass the _Ephraim-_ _Founded 1853_ sign, and Mickey has to admit that there’s some charm to the small town they’ve found themselves in.

He pulls over at the side of quiet and empty road, and turns to look at Ian as he pulls off his helmet.

There’s a spark of light in his green eyes as he looks around, and he takes a deep breath before he looks over across the lake, smiling at a small sailboat in the distance.

“This where you wanted to be, huh?” Mickey asks softly, unable to pull his gaze away from Ian’s face.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Ian bites his lip and nods, “With you”. He continues to look out across the lake before his eyes settle back on Mickey. The sunset is soft tonight, the sky painted with stunning yellows and oranges, and with that as a backdrop, Mickey almost appears to be glowing. 

Ian's eyes flicker over him, “Do you still want to sleep outside, or what do you think about those cottages over there?”

He points in the distance where several small and identical cottages spaced generously apart are lining the lakeshore.

Mickey raises his eyebrow, “You know how expensive a place like that would be to stay in for a couple nights?”

It is an exceptionally warm September day, so sleeping outside would be fine, but Ian shakes his head anyways, “I have an idea. Turn on your data and google cottages for rent near us, find those ones and give me the phone number”.

Mickey looks at him in confusion but obliges, reading it aloud for Ian as he punches the numbers into his phone.

The receptionist picks up, and her voice is friendly. “Hello, _Cozy Cottages Ephraim_ this is Emily speaking, how many I help you?”

Ian squints across the lake, “Hi Emily, I’ve stayed at CC before, and I was wondering if the cabin at the end of the lake is currently available, you know, the one with the dock in front of it. That’s my favorite one to stay at”.

He tries not to laugh at the look of scepticism on Mickey’s face as he lies into the phone, who is clearly not understanding his plan. Yet.

“Cottage five is available for the next several days actually, would you like to book it, sir?”

Perfect.

Ian hems and haws into the phone, “Hmm. You know what, I’ll call back maybe. I think my wife wants to stay closer to the town this time”.

The look on Mickey’s face only gets better.

“Oh…okay. Call if you have any other questions. Have a good night sir”.

“You too, bye now”. Ian ends the call and smiles at Mickey, pointing out the last cabin. “That’s ours Mick”.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Mickey asks, looking bewildered.

Ian explains, “No one’s using it. No one’s booked it for the next few days. Cottages don’t have security systems Mick”.

Understanding finally dawns across Mickey’s face, he nods, clearly impressed. “…You’re a fucking genius Gallagher. Let’s go”.

It takes them another twenty-five minutes to curve around the lake, and by then it's getting dark. Ian carefully counts the cottages that blur past every so often, finally counting the fifth and last one.

He taps Mickey’s stomach, who slows the motorcycle to pull up to the quiet little wooden cottage, hiding his bike in the nearby trees while Ian goes to fiddle with the door.

He uses his pocket knife/survival tool he keeps in his backpack for ROTC, and manages to pick the lock after a few minutes, swinging open the door right as Mickey comes up behind him.

His boyfriend whistles, clearly pleased, and Ian looks around the small cottage happily. There’s a tiny living room/kitchenette, a bedroom, and a small bathroom. All simply decorated with paintings of fish or the lake, and all of it's rooms made up for the next guests. Every window either looks out over the lake, or the quiet forest areas on either side of them. 

It’s perfect.

“Welcome home” he says, as Mickey wraps his arms around him from behind.

For the next couple days, this was theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my readers, I have 95 subs on this now and that makes me pretty happy :)  
> Next chapter is more fluff with some explicit romance!


	67. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a deeply romantic night by the lake, it becomes clear the boys thoughts towards eachother are turning more serious.

**Reference pics for the swimming scene before we start, this is what the dock looks like but the atmosphere/time of day is the second pic :)*

 

 

“Don’t turn on the lights” Mickey warns Ian, right as he reaches for a switch.

“Why?” Ian asks, perplexed. It’s pretty fucking dark out now.

Mickey gives him a disappointed look, “Ian. If they see lights on across the lake and nobody’s renting it, it’s gonna be clear someone broke in. Help me find some candles or some shit”.

Ian nods, shaking his head at his own stupidity. Of course, he was less practiced at breaking in to places, so maybe it’s a good thing his first instinct wasn’t how to go undetected?

He pulls open the kitchen drawers to look for candles while Mickey rummages through the cupboards in the same pursuit.

“Found some” Ian says a while later, holding up a bag of tealights. “Perfect. Just scatter them around so we don’t trip over shit” Mickey tells him, following him around and lighting each one after he places them.

By the time they are done, the small cottage is dimly lit with flickering tealights, with enough visibility for them to see large objects, but not enough to see anything too clearly or for light to shine through the windows.

Mickey plops down on small sofa, but feeling energized, Ian instead leans over the kitchen sink and peers out the window at the quiet lake. He's suddenly struck by an idea as he takes it all in. “There’s a full moon... lets go swimming”. Without waiting for an answer, he gestures for Mickey to follow him and heads out the back door towards the lake.

It’s definitely still warm enough outside, he reasons, and their cottage is blessed with both a sloping entrance to the water and a lengthy dock to jump from. As a bonus, the way the lake is curved gives them privacy from their closest neighbor too, if there’s even anyone staying there.

Mickey follows him outside to the edge of the dark lake, but instead of going in right away, he lights a cigarette instead, stopping at the edge of the grass.

Ian shakes his head at him, pulling his shirt up over his head and dropping it onto the smooth rocks and sand by his feet. Mickey says nothing, but watches with interest as Ian takes off his shorts next, and then his boxers.

The lake is still and noiseless until he enters it, and Ian wades in carefully, finding the water still almost lukewarm from the long hours of daylight. He reaches a depth just past his waist before he turns to tell Mickey to come in with him, but he sees him already shirtless, his cigarette propped in his mouth as he undoes his jeans and drops them to the grass.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Ian Gallagher is not the man of Mickey Milkovich’s dreams.

He’s the man of his reality, which somehow, makes it all the more surreal, as he wades somewhat hesitantly into the lake after him.

He’s never swam naked before, never even thought of it until this moment, but the way Ian did it so naturally had him undressing before he put much thought into it.

Ian had that effect on him in general, bringing his guard down…making him do shit he never would have dreamed of before. But he kind of likes that about him. Ian's always teaching him without realizing it.

Mickey steps across the muddy bottom of the lake gingerly to approach his boyfriend, who at this point has already dipped under the surface and then gently swum a little further. Ian resurfaces and wades in place with a depth up to his chest until Mickey reaches him, and then he reaches out to hold Mickey’s face between his hands, pressing his forehead against his softly.

Mickey closes his eyes for a moment, letting the heat from Ian’s forehead travel through to his own as they make contact, water dripping from Ian’s hair onto his face.  

There’s a warm, unspoken, bodily comfort he draws just from being around the other boy, and he’s always aching for more.

But maybe Ian is too, because Mickey feels wet lips touch his own, just barely, until he presses back. The cool lake water laps up against their skin, quietly, as the two of them kiss slowly but deeply, a thousand unspoken words in every movement.

It’s quiet, and peaceful, the sounds around them completely different from the harsh ones they are used to back in Chicago.

Instead of sirens, shouting, or cars screeching down the street, there’s just water lapping gently against the dock nearby, bullfrogs and crickets singing in the distance, and the sound of their own bodies moving in the water.

Mickey feels Ian’s soft mouth slowly open against his before a questioning tip of his tongue is pressing against his lips, and a familiar fire travels throughout Mickey's entire body as he opens his mouth to let him in. 

He breathes out shakily into his boyfriend’s mouth, desperate for more, but not wanting to rush the moment. Because if he could make one last forever, this would probably fucking be it.

And then Mickey’s broad shoulders dip just below the lake’s tranquil surface as Ian pulls his solid body closer to his own, forcing the water between them to splash out between their chests.

He can feel Ian’s bare skin pressed against his own underwater, and as the night falls deeper, both of their erections are unfazed by cooling lake water. There’s just one fucking thought running through Mickey's mind, over and over again, like a broken fucking record as they kiss.

“I wanna make you mine” he hears himself saying into Ian’s lips, the blood rushing to both his junk and his brain as he is intoxicated by his feelings for the other boy. But if this is drunk in love, he never wants to sober up. 

“I am yours” Ian murmurs back, and then without another word, he starts to swim back towards to the dock very slowly, still clinging to Mickey the entire time and backing him towards it too.

Mickey soon feels cold metal rails press against his back, and he kisses Ian even harder before pulling away from his lips away like he’s desperate for air, but really he’s just desperate for Ian.

As soon as he climbs out of the lake and up onto the dock, he immediately reaches down to help bring Ian back to him faster.

The loving redhead isn’t wasting any time either though, and as soon as he joins him on the dock he cradles the back of Mickey’s dark head while he pulls him back to his mouth, lowering him down against the docks surface.

Mickey feels Ian’s mouth disappear from his lips, and he opens his heavy blue eyes in disappointment until he sees and then feels Ian reaching for his dick with his hand, and his ass with his mouth.

He groans as Ian’s warm tongue, just slightly cold around the edges, licks against his sensitive hole gently. They don’t often reach this extreme level of intimacy, but Mickey’s soon biting his lip to hold on as Ian moves to massage his thighs with his hands while simultaneously stretching him open with his tongue.

This right here is why exactly Mickey has always loved getting fucked, he thinks. It’s like sparks are erupting in the fucking nerves across his skin, his muscles twitching erratically as each new swipe or probe brings a wave of incredible fucking sensations flowing throughout his entire body.

His stomach then jerks uncontrollably, and he breaths in sharply as the tongue is replaced by the head of Ian’s large cock, his handsome face returning to hover over Mickey as he slowly pushes inside of him.

Droplets of lake water fall from his toned chest and stomach and land on Mickey, each one like a tiny wet kiss against his fucking skin. Mickey’s back arches against the dock as Ian fills him completely, noticing how Ian's pink mouth opens slightly in pleasure as he purposely squeezes his muscular ring around his cock.  

He lets out a little groan as he looks up into Ian’s eyes, loving how fucking heavy they look. How needy. _He_ brings Ian to this level of pleasure... and it’s a powerful fucking feeling inside of his chest.

“I love you” Ian whispers as he slowly thrusts in and out of him, Mickey’s entire body moving from the impact.

Mickey reaches up silently with his tattooed hand to hold Ian’s firm cheek as he continues to fuck him, both of their eyes closing periodically with pleasure.

All that can be heard is the unsteady breathing of the two boys, their quiet grunts of pleasure and effort, their soft moans, and the sounds of nature as they fall deeper into each other.  

The dark night sky above Ian’s head frames his face with stars too, making Mickey’s head swim with emotion as his entire body tenses, approaching a heavy and powerful orgasm.

Ian’s hands have been busy supporting his own weight above Mickey on the dock, but Mickey’s been using his free hand to pleasure himself while Ian fucks him, and before long he nods his head in ecstasy, finally speaking as he can longer hold it in. 

“Yeah Ian… right fucking there”.

Ian takes a deep breath, his own voice jerking unsteadily as he delivers more powerful strokes, “I’m… about to cum”.

Mickey squeezes his eyes shut as his own orgasm immediately follows Ian’s promise, “Right…fucking… _fuck_ ”.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Mickey’s body convulses upwards slightly, his hips rising to grind into Ian’s stomach as he comes, and a wet warmth spills in between them at the exact same moment Ian’s own orgasm releases inside him, a few more gentle thrusts emptying him entirely.

“God Mickey” he whispers, shaking his head as he slowly pulls out a minute later.

There’s some sort of connection between them that he doesn’t think he could ever explain with words, other than saying he needs it. Aches for it, craves it.

Always.

After another long kiss, he slips back into the lake to clean himself and swim back to the shore, Mickey following him shortly after. They pause to collect their clothes at the grassy bank before they head back inside their cozy cottage for the night. 

The candlelight flickers warmly at them as they enter, naked and still dripping a bit.

“Hungry?” Ian soon asks Mickey, reaching for his backpack as Mickey comes out from the bathroom with two fluffy white towels to dry off with, offering him one.

“I could eat” Mickey answers enthusiastically, also reaching in and breaking the Snickers bar Ian had bought for him earlier in half, handing him the other piece. They go from lovers back to best friends, the strong core of their relationship. 

Hungrier than he had realized, Ian jams the chocolate into his cheeks, and grins as Mickey’s face breaks into an amused smile, “You look like a fuckin chipmunk”.

Ian swallows and clears his throat. “Are you saying you’re sexually attracted to chipmunks?” he teases, taking Mickey by the hips again.

Mickey raises his eyebrows as he looks back at him, his own voice playful. “You really want me to make some joke about my nuts and your cheeks? Cause I will Gallagher”.

He laughs as Ian reaches behind him to grab his perfect ass, “I’m always up for talking about cheeks”.

“Yeah well, these cheeks need a fuckin break” Mickey says, yawning happily as he heads towards the small bedroom and lays down on his stomach, stretching across their bed for the night.

Not quite ready to sleep yet, Ian lowers himself over his ass and straddles him, reaching out with his hands to grab Mickey’s shoulders as Mickey groans in contentment at his weight. Ian massages Mickey’s shoulders and back slowly, drawing appreciative moans and grunts from the other boy as he erases the knots from his muscles after their day of travel.

But the fucking sounds Mickey is making soon wake his cock again and being that he’s already sitting on Mickey’s ass, it presses into him urgently through the towel, like it forgot something earlier.

Mickey grins, “Again?” he says sleepily, smiling into his pillow.

Ian lowers himself down, resting his chin against Mickey’s back for a moment before he flips him over playfully, now straddling his front. And he’s not the only one sporting a hard on either.

“Got a problem with that?” Ian asks, as Mickey raises his eyebrows and smiles back, his lips pressed together in amusement.

“No…no, I just…” he mumbles something incoherent before he catches Ian off guard by suddenly launching upwards just enough to bring the taller boy down onto the bed beside him, wrestling him playfully.

The playful wrestling eventually turns more passionate though, and soon Mickey is moaning beneath him on the bed again, with a very different type of pleasure.

Ian fucks him harder this time, taking advantage of the soft bed and their already charged bodies from earlier. He comes first, but jerks Mickey off until he finishes onto his stomach again, groaning loudly and taking in sharp breaths of air as he does.

As they lay there in bed together afterwards, tangled up in the sheets and each other’s limbs, Ian presses his head against Mickey’s chest, listening as his rapid heartbeat slows to a more steady, but still strong pace.

He tips his head up to look at Mickey after a while.

“Mickey?”

“Yeah?” Mickey looks down at him and runs his tattooed hand through Ian’s red hair.

“Do you ever think about the future?” Ian asks, watching as Mickey’s eyebrows twitch at the question, a little spark hidden in his blue eyes.

“Course I do” Mickey answers after a while, still stroking his hair. He rests his other arm behind his head casually, his strong biceps looking especially toned against the white pillows.

“Am I in it?” Ian asks, looking down at Mickey’s soft belly again, and gently running his finger up Mickey’s light treasure trail. His heart beats faster as he waits for a response. Some sort of promise.

But Mickey just laughs softly, resting his hand against Ian’s shoulder.

“Fuck, Ian. You are it”.

He says it as if it’s so damn obvious, that Ian didn’t need to ask.

But he wanted to ask, and he falls asleep on Mickey’s chest that night peacefully, dreaming a future filled with moments just like this one.

 ~The boy's bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a 90's baby and yes, I totally stole that last conversation from Friends, except it's Mickified ;*  
> Also I like adding pictures to chapters like these because they are unfamiliar settings and I want you guys to see what I'm picturing, unlike in Chicago where we are familiar with most of the settings :)


	68. South Side Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian look back and celebrate their one year anniversary.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

When Mickey wakes up the next morning, it takes him a moment to remember where he is, but he closes his eyes as he does, letting himself enjoy the warmth of Ian’s form pressed up against his back for a while before he gently lifts the other boy’s arm away.

He sits up on the bed slowly and stays there for a moment, rubbing his eyes with his rough thumbs until he fully comes to, and then he looks back at Ian again. Lifting one hand to Ian’s face, he gently strokes the red hair that’s become so familiar to him.

He decides to let Ian keep sleeping, thinking he could use the rest after last night, and soon leaves the bedroom quietly, pulling on just his boxers and a t-shirt on as he does.

After pressing open the cottage’s back door, Mickey walks in bare feet across the grassy lawn, down to the dock where him and Ian had sex the night before.

Lighting a cigarette from the packet of Marlboro’s he’d brought with himself, Mickey reaches the edge of the dock and slowly sits. He dangles his legs down over the edge of it and looks out over the quiet lake as he smokes his morning cigarette.

It’s peaceful out here in cottage country, maybe even beautiful, but that’s not really what’s on his mind.

Because this time a year ago today, he was rushing to catch a bus to a school trip he didn’t even really want to go on.

He’d gotten there just in time, and by the luck of the fucking draw, the very last empty seat on that bus happened to be beside Ian Gallagher.

Mickey smiles to himself, remembering the look on Ian’s face as he had approached him confidently, not allowing himself to show he was pleased with this arrangement.

Ian Gallagher seemed a little apprehensive maybe as Mickey approached him, but in hindsight, there was some interest in those alluring green eyes too.

Smoke curls from Mickey’s lips as he smiles and reminisces, and he shakes his head to himself, thinking about how far they’d come since then.

How far he’d fucking come.

By April of last year, before any of that, he had finally reluctantly accepted his own sexuality in private, and had eventually even allowed himself to indulge in fucking the gender he actually he wanted to, but none of his few hookups had ever meant anything.

Not until September and Oak Forest, when the attractive redheaded Gallagher in a couple of his high school classes showed an actual fucking interest in hanging out with him during the school trip.

That alone had been a miracle, because most people actually went out of their way to avoid him.

And when he had accidentally yet opportunely discovered Ian was gay too, he had broken his own fucking rule about hooking up with anyone who knew who he was, just to have a taste of him.

But he’s pretty sure it was more than that, even from the very beginning.

He liked Ian, liked who he was. He could sense that about him right away. Liked the way he laughed, and liked the way he treated Mickey like he was just another teenager instead of some worthless fucking school shit he wanted nothing to do with. Because that was honestly how most people looked at Mickey Milkovich, and he was used to it.

He liked for how in the first time in his shitty life, he really felt happy, out there with Ian Gallagher.

And even after his useless fucking attempts to fight his feelings for Ian from getting any stronger once they got home, they had ended up together. It felt like that was how it was supposed to be.

Through being friends, fighting, and fucking, he’d fallen in love.

And even though he’d thought he lost Ian when he’d been forced to go to Memphis, he’s not even angry about that time in his life anymore. Because it didn’t change how he loved Ian, or how Ian loved him.

If anything, it just made them love each other more.

He doesn’t hear Ian coming up behind him on the dock until he’s right there, dropping down to sit beside him and handing him one of the hot cups of coffee he’d made from a sample packet for guests in the cottage.

The redhead sighs in contentment as he looks out over the lake, stretching out his long legs, and Mickey turns to look at him.

Ian looks back and smiles, “Can’t believe it’s been a year”.

“Yeah…I was just thinkin that” Mickey admits, leaning in to kiss him. It’s a quick one, but as they pull away to look at out the expanse of water in front of them again, he thinks about how proud he is of them for how far they’ve come.

How he wouldn’t trade this now, for fucking anything.

* **Ian’s POV** *

That afternoon, Mickey takes his motorcycle out from it’s hiding place in the dense trees beside their cabin, and the two boys head back into town to get some more supplies, including a few cans of beer.

“South Side champagne” Ian winks, tipping a can in his hand towards Mickey and placing it in his basket.

“Well, we do have some shit to celebrate” Mickey answers, nodding approvingly before he goes to ask the cashier for another packet of cigarettes.

Ian glances around for something cheap and easy to make for dinner, but as he’s reaching for simple Ramen cups something else catches his eye, and he smiles to himself as he grabs it.

“Hotdogs? Pretty fuckin romantic” Mickey teases, raising a dark eyebrow at him as he returns with his Marlboro’s.

Ian laughs defensively, “That’s what we ate that night! Remember? That skank was wiping ketchup off your arm-“

“-And you left in a pissy fit, which made me go after you. From day fucking one Gallagher, I swear” Mickey grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“Pretty sure I had to chase after you for several solid weeks when we got back, so I’d say we’re even” Ian answers firmly, putting his groceries down on the counter.

“Yeah but it wasn’t really chasing, more like waiting, wasn’t it?” Mickey says, biting his lip as he looks at him. Ian’s eyebrow twitches at his expression, remembering the truth of how much they both wanted each other, even then.

Fuck it was worth the wait.

He builds a small firepit by the lake that evening while Mickey goes to get sticks for roasting their hot dogs on, and they sit beside each other in front of the fire just like that night back in Oak Forest, after they had returned from setting up the tent they would share.

That night was the first of many that they would explore each other’s bodies with a certain awe and carnal appreciation.

Ian jokingly toasts his boyfriend with his beer as they eat their cheap but meaningful dinner, “Here’s to a year”.

But Mickey simply raises his own can and lifts one dark eyebrow suggestively, “Here’s to a lot more Gallagher”.

And that’s the thing about Mickey, Ian thinks, looking over at his boyfriend’s face while it’s illuminated by the fire he is now prodding at with his roasting stick. He was there, and he was there to stay.

Ian never really had to worry about him leaving, even though that was still his first initial instinct after growing up with absentee Frank and Monica as his parents.

“I’m…I fucking love you” he tells Mickey, as sincerely as he can as his boyfriend finishes shoving the last of his hotdog into his mouth.

Mickey’s cheeks are full, and he nods while he chews, finally swallowing and then letting out a deep breath. “I fuckin love you too”.

That night when they fuck in their private little cabin, it’s not really fucking, it’s more like…well Ian thinks it’s what making love is, because that’s what’s laced into every word he whispers into Mickey’s ear, and every movement he makes against his incredible body.

When they finish, they finish together, and Mickey rests his sweaty forehead against his own afterwards, their damp hair pressing together while they gently kiss until their heartbeats slow.

The next day Ian gets a phone call from Fiona, and he knows his getaway is coming to an end. He tries not to be annoyed by her nagging, because there’s no way she can possibly know how much this means to him, but it’s difficult not to.

She sounds impatient, “Ian, this isn’t a bargaining deal. You need to come home. And Mickey probably does too! What about him in all this?”

Ian scoffs, “Really Fiona? Really? You think he wants to go home?” The thought of Mickey being in a rush to get back home to Terry would be laughable if it wasn’t so sick.

“Well” she says defensively, “What about Mo? He has a dog to look after”.

“Mandy’s doing it” Ian informs her, looking over from a distance at Mickey as he chucks rocks aggressively into the lake. He looks like he’s swearing, but Ian has no idea at what.

“Ian, come on. You have school, and work”.

Ian sighs, knowing she’s right. “We’ll come home tonight Fiona. It’s just…this is like the summer I didn’t get with him, he was away for so much of it. And it’s sorta like our anniversary”.

His sister is quiet for a moment, but she does end up giving in.

“Okay Ian… well have fun and be safe, but I better see you tonight. Love you”.

“Love you too Fiona. See you later”.

Ian hangs up his phone and goes over to Mickey, who looks at him with his eyebrows raised and points into the lake, “Pretty sure there’s a fuckin snake down there”.

Ian laughs, “It’s probably just a fish. Listen, I talked to Fiona. I’m ready to go home Mick” but he quickly adds, “I told her we’d be there tonight though, so we have a couple hours” as Mickey immediately turns for the cottage.

“Oh. Okay” Mickey answers slowly, still  glancing suspiciously at the dark water, “Well what do you want to do until then?”

“I was thinking maybe we could rent a canoe?”

Mickey looks surprised, “You’d wanna do that?”

Ian nods, explaining his idea, “Yeah. I think that was the first time I really saw you smile, when we beat everyone else in our class during the race last year”.

And there’s the smile, the one he had fallen in love with. “Alright Ian”.

They walk quite a ways down the road to a boat rental place and grab a canoe, Mickey still almost as awkward getting in now as he was the first time.

But he obliges Ian anyways, who can’t keep the smile off his face as they glide across the lake, finally stopping in the middle of it to point out their cottage in the distance and take in the sights.

Mickey’s facing forward, so he can’t see Ian’s mischievous grin as he takes his out his phone and presses play, but Ian can swear that even from the back of his head he can see Mickey’s eyebrows rising on his forehead sharply.

“The fuck Gallagher?” he says, trying to look over his shoulder as the music starts. Ian clears his throat and tries not to laugh as he sings along to his chosen ballad, an upbeat one. _"_ No one has ever loved you more than this, yeah Mick, why don't you come and feel it out?

I can't promise you anything, but I can tell you I'll never leave.

Hold on to me, yeah. Hold on to me, yeahhh _…”_

He fails to keep his composure, and breaks into giggles as Mickey lowers his head and starts to laugh even harder, his shoulders shaking as he shakes his head in disbelief over his goofball of a boyfriend.

Mickey finally cranes his neck around to look at him as he licks his lips, his blue eyes shining with amusement.

“C’mere you fuckin weirdo” he says, gesturing with his hand for Ian to come to his lips. “I might tip the canoe” Ian answers, grinning.

“I really don’t fucking care”.

Ian inches over as carefully as he can, but even as the canoe starts to tip he smiles into the kiss, laughing as Mickey begins to swear despite his claim about not caring if they end up in the lake. Luckily, they manage to steady it again, and once Ian’s back in his proper place in the canoe, he puts his paddle back into the water happily.

It’s time to go home. Because it doesn’t really matter where they are, as long as they are there together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song at the end is Hold onto Me by Mondo Cozmo :)


	69. Discoloration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way back home to Chicago, something unforeseen occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be… emotional in some ways, but please read through to the end and read my end notes! Entire chapter is Ian’s POV.

As Ian and Mickey come back to the shore they see a Mazda pulling into the gravel in front of their cottage, and they both immediately tense as a family starts to pile out of it.

Mickey calls out, “Can I fuckin help you?”

“Excuse me?” the mother says back, clearly taken aback by his tone. She gestures to her husband and then back at the cabin, “We rented this cottage for the weekend”.

Ian glances over at Mickey in panic, wondering how they will get out of this one, but his boyfriend just shakes his head calmly as he gets out of the canoe, dragging it up to abandon it on the lawn.

“Nah. Must be a mistake. We’ve been staying here the past two days, and I paid throughout the weekend, so…” he shrugs nonchalantly.

The family hesitates as the two boys walk over, Ian trying to appear as casual and confident as Mickey seems to be. He'd have to be to pull this one off.

Mickey balances a cigarette into his mouth and lights it, one eyebrow raised in a not so subtle way. “You better go back and get them to sort it out while there’s still other empty cottages, they go fast as hell on the weekends. This one is already rented under the last name Phillips, they’ll have that shit in their records at the office”.

There’s a moment of silence from the family where Ian seriously wonders if they will buy the lie, or call them out on the spot. Luckily, the first one happens.

“For fuck’s sake” the father grumbles as he turns and gets back into the car, his two kids and wife following in confusion, “Carol, I told you to book in advance”.

“It’s not my fault David, and don’t swear in front of the children” she chastises as she puts her seatbelt on. 

Mickey waves his hand in a casual shooing motion as they leave, but the second the car is down the road and out of sight he quickly turns to Ian, “Grab your shit, we need to go”.

Ian doesn’t need to be told not to waste any time, knowing they have to be long gone before the renters figure out what happened and call the police. He runs into the cottage, grabbing their few belongings and shoving them into his backpack haphazardly. 

He soon hears Mickey calling from outside, “C’mon Gallagher!” and he grabs his helmet and shoves it over his head before running back out and joining Mickey on the back of his already started motorcycle.

Mickey immediately takes off down the private driveway, and they tear down the road together as they gain speed, driving continuously out of Ephraim and then even past another town before stopping so they can laugh in relief.

Ian feels breathless, an excess of adrenaline pumping through his veins. If he didn't trust Mickey so much, he'd probably be panicking. 

“Cops are probably looking around for us, but they don’t have our real names and they didn’t see my bike or anything, so we should be fine” Mickey tells him, panting slightly. 

“Well…just in case, let’s keep going. Take a break halfway again?” Ian suggests, thinking he’d rather not risk getting Mickey in trouble with the police again. It was his idea to break in to the cottage, but he knew they’d probably want to blame Mickey for it after his more lengthy juvenile record.

So far, his boyfriend’s adult record was clean, and Ian wanted to keep it that way.

Mickey shrugs, seeming less concerned. “It’s a shorter trip to Chicago than it was from Iowa. We’re only a few hours away”.

“Just keep going. I told Fiona I’d be back tonight and it’s already getting dark” Ian answers, pulling his visor back down.

Mickey nods, seeming to sense his tension, and he yells through his helmet so he can be heard as he starts up his bike again, “We’ll get home in time Gallagher, no fuckin worries”.

But soon Ian isn’t worried at all, the tension ebbs away and he feels as free as a fucking bird as they ride home together through the blurry night, approaching Chicago as darkness falls, and worry is the farthest thing from his mind.

It’s beautiful, it’s warm and he’s happy, and he starts to laugh while they are on the I-90 running through Chicago, Mickey yelling back, “What?” as loud as he can through his helmet over the sounds of the traffic and the bike.

Ian catches his breath and yells back cheerfully, “If you’re a bird I’m a bird, Mickey”.

He’s not sure why that particular line came to his head after hearing it just once in his life, years ago in some cheesy fucking rom com, but as they were racing down the highway and thinking about freedom, it did.

“Fucking notebook Ian?” he hears Mickey shout back, shaking his helmet in dismay.

Ian’s eyes widen in surprise, “How do you know what that’s from!” he yells.

“Fuckin Mandy, how do you?”

“Fiona!”

Mickey revs his engine again as they laugh even harder and switch lanes, Ian squeezing his boyfriend a little tighter as he puts in even more effort to get them home on time at the mention of the eldest Gallagher.

It all happens within seconds.

One moment he’s holding onto Mickey, and the two of them are laughing over the roar of his motorcycle as they speed down the highway, weaving through cars and calling out into the night with their freedom propelling them as much as the motorcycle’s two stroke engine is.

The next moment there is a deafening horn blasting into the night, the flash of bright white headlights, and the screech of a 6000 pound truck veering into their lane, the driver facedown on the steering wheel.

“Fuck!”

With only seconds to react, Mickey doesn’t manage to get his motorcycle completely out of the way in time, as the rest of the cars around them scramble to do the same, their driver’s all panicking.

The front wheel of his Enduro veers and smashes against the side of one of the truck’s massive tires, sending both of them flying off the motorcycle and into the road, but out of the way as the truck continues to lumber past them like some sort of a mechanical giant, intent on destroying everything in it's path.

Ian’s head had smashed forward into Mickey’s back at the initial impact, but he hit the ground afterwards, and he’s not sure if he blacked out for a moment or two. He's not sure of anything right now. 

He just feels stunned, and it feels like everything is in slow motion as he lays slumped on the hard pavement, breathing in deep ragged breaths as cars continue to race past. All he can hear is that truck's deep horn still piercing the night and maybe... someone screaming from what seems like very far away, and all he can see is that bright white light.

He loses consciousness a few moments later.

“Kid? Kid! Can you hear me?”

Ian’s eyes slowly creak open and he blinks one eye at a time, looking around himself groggily to see two EMT’s hovering over him as he’s lifted onto a stretcher. He tastes blood in his mouth, and his face feels wet. 

It’s dark out. He’s looking up at a night sky, the faint stars barely visible through the clouds hovering in the darkness, and it's drizzling rain.

“Don’t move your neck” he hears, as he tries to focus on the face now hovering in front of him.

Sirens. Flashing red and blue lights.

_What the fuck happened?_

“Can you tell me your name?” the voice asks with concern, as gloved hands run over his scraped-up arm. It hurts.

_Why does it hurt?_

Ian’s head turns to the side, and that's when he sees a completely unconscious and bloody Mickey being lifted into another ambulance, his limp body jerking slightly from the impact as his stretcher is lowered again.

His eyes are closed, and his mouth and bleeding nose are covered by an oxygen mask. One unmoving tattooed hand hangs from the edge of the stretcher and is quickly tucked in by one of the other EMT’s.

They aren’t talking to him, they are just trying to get him into the ambulance as quickly as possible. “Mickey…” Ian groans, trying to move. Everything hurts. His head is swimming as he tries to understand what’s happening.

But he does understand they are taking him to a different ambulance, and they are taking him away from Mickey.

The doors behind Mickey close, and sirens start blaring again as the ambulance immediately takes off.

“No!” he calls out, and his voice is hoarse, like he’d been shouting without realizing it. “MICKEY!”

“Get the sedative” he hears as he starts to struggle, ignoring how his body is screaming at him to stop, and how the paramedics urge him to.

“Get off me! Get the fuck off me! M…Mick…”

…He comes to what feels like hours later, but he’s still stuck in a hazy darkness for a while, unable to open his eyes or speak while his brain slowly reboots under a fog of medication.

But he hears the conversation around him.

“-The truck driver had a heart attack, he fell forward onto the horn and steering wheel, bringing the truck into the wrong lane. It was a complete accident, and he didn’t make it”.

An unfamiliar voice, that continues to speak,

“It’s possible there was some mild cognitive damage from the collision. Your brother appeared so agitated and confused on site that the EMT’s sedated him, and he’s been out for the past few hours. He was unable to give us his name, but did keep repeating the other boy’s name, which we realized when we recovered their ID’s”.

And then Fiona’s scared voice, “But he’ll be okay, right…?”

“Yes we believe so, other than some bruising on his ribs, his injuries are thankfully mostly superficial other than a serious concussion…”

There’s some more darkness, and then Ian feels soft and shaking hands touch his arm, and he starts to stir.

He opens his eyes slowly and sees his sister’s wan and terrified face in front of his own, her brown eyes filling with tears as soon as she sees him awake.

“Fiona” he says weakly.

The doctor strides over to him, “Can you tell me your name? Do you know where you are?”

“Ian…the hospital” Ian answers slowly, licking his dry lips.

He coughs, and Fiona immediately grabs a glass of water from beside his bed and holds the straw up to his mouth, letting him drink.

He takes a few slow sips and then looks around, and then he _remembers_.

“ _Mickey_ ” he whispers, “Oh my God…Fiona, where’s Mickey?”

His voice cracks and his own eyes fill with tears as he remembers the jarring sight of his boyfriend’s limp and bloody body being lifted into a different ambulance, being taken away from him.

“Please” he says, looking at the doctor, silently begging with everything in his heart that he’s not going to hear what he’s terrified to hear.

The doctor’s face is serious, “He’s alive. He hasn’t woken up yet though, and he’s in the intensive care unit”. Fiona bites her lip and looks at the doctor as Ian immediately starts to struggle to get up, his whole body aching.

“Is there any way we can go see him?” she asks, looking at her agitated brother, “Ian won’t stay here voluntarily”.

The doctor looks hesitant, “Ian, we need you to relax and stay calm. Let me finish my examination of your vitals, and then we can discuss this. I don’t want to have to sedate you again, but it’s important you go easy on your body right now, it has a lot of healing to do”.

Everything in Ian wants to argue, tell him to go fuck himself, but he doesn’t want to get knocked out again, so he lets the doctor examine him, and answers his questions in the way he hopes will make him seem most okay.

The doctor’s writing down notes and discussing his findings with Fiona, mentioning he’d like to keep Ian for the next day at least for monitoring in case anything changes, when he makes an offhand comment.

“He’s very lucky. He was sitting behind the driver, so his initial impact was absorbed by the boy in front of him. The helmet did its job when he hit the road”.

Ian starts to sob, and his sister comes over to pull him into a comforting hug. “I need to see him” he says adamantly, trying to get away from her so he can get off the bed.

Fiona looks over at the doctor, who sighs and nods. “I’ll take you to his room. But you need to be very careful, and not disturb the support he’s hooked up to right now, do you understand me?” the doctor asks, looking at him firmly. He clearly isn’t too confident in Ian’s capability to control himself.

Ian doesn’t answer verbally, but immediately gets up and waits until the doctor sighs and leads him and Fiona to the elevator, and then up to another floor, and down a hallway.

Fiona supports his hurting body the entire way, resting a lot of his weight on her shoulder as she walks beside him. He's dizzy and unbalanced still, his entire body wanting to lie down and rest, but Ian can't let it. 

He’s not sure what he expected to see when the door was opened, but the sight of Mickey in that stark white room, surrounded by sterile machinery makes him cry again, and he stumbles over the bed with Fiona, sinking onto the floor next to it.

“Is he going to be okay? When is he going to wake up?” he chokes out, craning his neck to get a better view of everything. His brain is struggling to process what’s in front of him, and he’s pretty sure it’s not just because he took a blow to the head.

It's because Mickey isn’t moving at all, his breathing is shallow and quiet beneath his oxygen mask, and there’s all sort of wires and tubes connected to him, his vital signs being displayed on a quietly beeping monitor next to his bed.

His pale skin is already bruising purple in several places, among harsh scrapes and cuts where his skin had been torn by the pavement, and one of his arms is enveloped in a cast.

It’s wrong seeing him like this, Ian screams in his head. Quiet and unmoving. It’s not fucking natural for Mickey, who should be telling them to stop fuckin crying, and asking if they could leave already.

The doctor answers his question gently. “We don’t know yet. We’re still waiting for him to wake up, and that’s entirely up to his body, but we’ve done everything we can. His head impact was worse than yours unfortunately, and it’s possible there's internal brain damage when a coma like this occurs, which can be very complicated”.

“It’s my fault” Ian suddenly whispers.

“No, no Ian” Fiona interrupts sternly, turning his shoulders so her fierce brown eyes are staring into his guilt filled ones.

He was the one that had been in a rush. “I’m the one that wanted to leave” he answers, shaking his head miserably and reaching out for Mickey’s tattooed hand.

For once, it doesn’t hold back. Those fingers just lie there, letting him grip them and giving nothing back. 

Fiona runs her hand over his aching head. “Ian, Mickey loves you. More than anything, clearly. I don’t think he would be too happy to hear you sitting here and blaming yourself after he made his choice to go with you”.

“What if he doesn’t wake up?” he asks, turning from her back to the doctor, who is gently readjusting Mickey’s arm cast on the opposite side of him.

“Try to be positive Mr. Gallagher. There’s nothing to indicate that he won’t. The human body is remarkable, and shuts itself down like this to protect the brain. However, like I said, these things are very complicated. It’s just very lucky you missed a full frontal hit from the truck, and that the EMT’s got there so fast, or we wouldn’t be here having this conversation right now. The driver unfortunately didn’t make it”.

“It was Mickey. He tried to get out of the way. He’s a fucking fighter, you know” Ian tells him, wiping his nose against his sleeve as he continues to stare at his boyfriend.

The doctor smiles, “I can tell. Would you like me to ask the nurse to bring a cot in here for you? We can check on you when we check on your friend”.

“Yes” Ian answers, too distracted to correct him. He appreciates the offer, but he wouldn’t leave even if they tried to fucking make him.

The doctor exits the room and closes the door behind himself, and while they wait for another bed to be delivered, Ian looks over at his exhausted older sister.

“Where is everyone?” he asks, finally thinking about the rest of his family.

“Lip’s at home with them all. Everyone is so worried Ian, I really need to go call them” she answers, standing up and scratching the back of her head. There are dark circles under her eyes, and she looks incredibly weary.

“Okay…tell them I love them” Ian says softly, “And Fiona? I’m really sorry for taking off. It was a shitty thing for me to do”.

She finally smiles at him, just a tiny smile. “Yeah, it was”.

His sister leaves the room, and Ian gets his promised cot delivered a few minutes later. He pushes it right up against Mickey’s as soon as the nurse leaves, and takes Mickey’s hand again, stroking his thumb over it. Appreciating the warmth that still emanates from his skin, even now bringing him comfort.

“I love you so fucking much Mickey” he whispers, tears rolling down his cheeks, “I’ve probably loved you since that first day”.

He eventually falls asleep to the response of the beeps from Mickey’s monitor telling him that he’s still here, he’s still hanging on.

He loves him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you decide you hate me and will never speak to me again, he’s not going to die. I could never do that to my favorite south side thug <3 This is just a part of their unfolding story and a chance for Ian to really go the extra mile for Mickey until he wakes up (hint-it won’t be too long). Plus, angst. It’s in my DNA.


	70. Holding On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian worries and waits in the hospital for Mickey to wake up.

Ian Gallagher wakes up the next day around noon hoping the past sixteen hours were just a nightmare. Some twisted and fevered dream that he’ll wake up from in their cottage in Ephraim, with a snoozing Mickey still wrapped in his arms.

But upon opening his bruised eyelids, he finds himself instead in a hospital in Chicago, and sees Mickey exactly the way he had the night before.

Broken, his chest rising and falling shallowly underneath expensive humming medical equipment.

When the shift nurse comes in to change out his boyfriend’s soiled bedpan, Ian grimaces and stares at the tattooed _FUCK_ onto Mickey’s hand, knowing how much he would hate this. How ashamed he’d be by having total strangers clean his body and take away his piss.

He’d probably rather die.

When the nurse returns with warm water and a soft sponge to clean Mickey’s body with, Ian shakes his head and takes it from her. “I’ll do it” he says firmly.

“Oh it’s okay, it’s my job honey” she says, reaching for it back.

Ian shakes his head again, more stubbornly this time. “He wouldn’t want you to. Fuck, he wouldn’t want me to either. But I’m going to do it going forward, all of it”.

The nurse gracefully accepts defeat after his second protest and leaves him with some ointments for Mickey’s wounds too, and then Ian turns to his older sister, who’s been sitting in the corner with a People magazine and looking at him with surprise.

Fiona was great at standing by and lending support when he needed it, but this was a painful moment he just didn’t want to share with her.

“Can you leave for a while? He’d want privacy” he says, lifting the white sheet away from Mickey’s body pointedly.

She nods without further comment and stands, stopping only to kiss the top of his head before she leaves, closing the door behind herself.

“I’ll take care of you” Ian tells Mickey firmly, once they are alone. “And if you can hear me right now, you can chill the fuck out, because I want to do this. I’m not babying you, and you don’t need to be embarrassed”.

Tentatively pulling away the hospital gown so he can caress Mickey’s skin with the warm cloth, he’s disturbed to see how many purple bruises have bloomed across it’s milk white surface overnight.

“ _Jesus Christ Mickey_ ” he whispers, sniffing as he fights any emotion from spilling over again.

He’s scared that he’ll fucking lose it if he even considers the possibility that Mickey might not be okay, might not wake up… so he doesn’t let himself go there. It’s not safe territory.

After washing his skin carefully, Ian gently puts the disinfectants and ointments into Mickey’s many scrapes and cuts, taking his time with each one.

It’s not pretty taking care of him like this, especially with bedpan duty. But it’s doing right by Mickey, and it at least makes him feel like he can help in some way, instead of sitting there uselessly and desperately waiting for Mickey to show any sign that he’s going to wake up soon.

He keeps staring at him, thinking maybe he’ll catch one of those sharp dark eyebrows twitching a bit, or those perfect pink lips closing on their own underneath the oxygen feed. It’s a slippery slope, waiting like that, and Fiona spends most of her time there with him during the day trying to keep his mind occupied with other things.

His other siblings show up that night with Kev, V, and Mandy for a supportive visit. He hears a tentative knock on the door before they all come into the small private room.

They look at Ian first and smile reassuringly, and then they look over at Mickey’s form and try to keep the same expressions on their face. Their eyes give them away.

Ian accepts their loving and worried hugs as stoically as he can, just sniffing every so often and talking very matter of fact, and then Liam quietly asks him, “Is Mickey sleeping?”

The little boy’s eyes drift over the Milkovich boy who he’d grown so fond of with concern and confusion.

Ian bites his lip, deciding to take a gentler approach for his youngest brother. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s sleeping Liam. He’s hurt and he needs to sleep to get better”. He looks over at Mandy, who is staring at her unconscious brother like she doesn’t recognize him.

The rest of them talk quietly for a while around Mickey and Ian, and then Kev tells them that he can take everyone back home in his van.  

“I’m not going” Ian answers as his siblings start to leave, other than his older sister, “I have a bed here. But Fiona… you should go”.

She looks so wrung and out and exhausted, that she doesn’t even argue with him this time. “Okay Ian. We’ll come back in the morning. You coming Mandy?”

They all turn to look at Mickey’s sister, who nods her head, putting a tough expression on her pale face. She tries to act strong as she walks out of the room, but Ian sees tears in her eyes, and Fiona puts a comforting arm around her as they leave together.

Ian hopes his older sister can bring her some of the comfort and reassurance he should probably be giving her right now, but he just doesn’t have the fucking energy to think or worry about anyone other than his comatose boyfriend right now.

He sighs deeply once him and Mickey are alone again, laying back down on his bed and taking Mickey’s limp hand once more.

It’s so quiet in the room now, and so still, with just the sound of the hospital equipment humming and beeping, and Ian feels hot tears start to roll down his tired cheeks again.

He’d been trying so hard, so fucking hard, to keep it together around everyone else. To just appear to be a pillar of strength, who was certain that Mickey would be fine.

But deep down, he was so fucking scared, and he just felt completely and utterly alone. His own physical pain, still managed by medication, was nothing compared to what was going on in his mind, and the only person who could help him was the one person that wasn’t able to.

“I need you” he says aloud, his voice muffled by his mouth resting on his arm. He turns his head slightly, looking at the still quiet and unconscious Mickey in the bed next to him. What he wouldn’t give to see those ocean blue eyes open, hear that unimpressed voice say, “Gallagher, _I’m right fuckin here_ ”.

He presses his thumb into Mickey’s palm, hoping for a squeeze, a gentle touch back, anything. He’d take anything, even a curled fist at this point if it meant he was going to be okay.

But there’s nothing, just a limp hand in his own.

* **Fiona’s POV** \- _the next day_ *

Fiona pushes open the door to Mickey’s hospital room quietly, expecting to find her younger brother still asleep in there, holding his boyfriend’s comatose hand. There was barely a moment he let go of Mickey’s hand, always waiting for him to show a sign he was ready to hold it back.

But it’s Mandy Milkovich she sees in there instead, talking to her brother’s unconscious body with her normally sharp voice trembling.

“Wake up you asshole. I’m going to move out Mick, move in with Kyle. Get away from Dad. I know you always wanted to too, but not like this. Not like this. I… I love you Mick. I need you to wake up. If you leave me on my own, I’ll never fucking forgive you”.

She sniffs loudly and then shakes her dark head, getting up to leave her brother and her heavy emotions behind in the hospital room. But then she sees Fiona standing there in doorway, who suddenly feels very guilty, like she had intruded on a very private moment.

Mandy Milkovich’s heavily made up eyes are filled with angry tears, and she pushes past Fiona without a sound, who can read the signs that she just wants to be left alone. Fiona sighs and goes over to Mickey’s bed, rearranging his sheets more comfortably around his body.

It’s so strange seeing him like this.

It’s like this bruised body is just an empty shell, and the Mickey they actually know is far away. Because the real Mickey would never be able to stay so still, so ungiving to the environment around him.

She thinks of her younger brother, so brutally in love with this boy that he’d do anything for him, and her eyes prick with tears. Ian. She’s so scared for him. Thinking about what might happen to him if Mickey doesn’t wake up terrifies her.

He’s like a magnet to her brother; his whole world absolutely revolves around the other boy, and he falls apart when he’s gone. They’ve learned that the hard way in the past.

Fiona Gallagher has taken on a lot in her young life, including the care of her five siblings when she was just a child herself. She’s been strong, she’s been selfless, and she’s fucking fought for them. But she can’t stand losing one of them.

That would be the end for her.

Fiona suddenly feels a burst of anger towards the dark-haired boy lying comatose in front of her, and she knows it’s unreasonable, unfair, but she shoves his limp body and bitterly says, “You promised me you weren’t going anywhere. That you’d always be there for Ian, take care of him. So wake up Mickey. _Wake up._ I need you to”.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Another day passes of mostly silence for Ian, other than hearing the occasional mechanical beeps and whirs, and his older sister soon goes home for the night, leaving him once again to stay with Mickey alone.

The one thing he really appreciates is how she never nags him to come home with her, innately knowing how much that would piss him off. Because he’s not going anywhere until Mickey wakes up, and he doesn’t care how long that might take, it goes without saying. Mickey was always there for him without fucking question, so he was going to be there for Mickey.

Ian lays there in the dark that night in his hospital bed beside Mickey’s, watching him breathe until he falls asleep, as has become his routine.

But before he does doze off, he talks quietly, filling the unbearable silence in the room by telling Mickey things that he would never tell anyone else. Things that he might not even tell Mickey if he _was_ actually awake to hear them, because they made him feel so vulnerable.

Like how fucking weak he felt sometimes, or about how Mickey was the only person that really made him enjoy life. How he’d become so much more than just a lover, the best friend he’s ever had.

About how much he hates himself now for any time he ignored Mickey after they had a disagreement, or an argument, how he wishes he could take that back.

And before sleep finally overtakes his heavy mind, he mumbles that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him, no matter what that looks like. And even though he’s young, he’s pretty sure that will never change.

Ian Gallagher wakes up early the next morning, and he’s not quite sure why at first. He can feel gentle sunlight streaming into the room and over his face, warming it. He opens his bleary eyes and looks over at Mickey, whose eyes are still closed. His tattooed hand is still resting over Ian’s, where he had placed it last night, trying to pretend Mickey was holding his hand comfortingly.

Ian stretches over his bed to reach for his phone with his free hand and checks it, seeing a text from Fiona saying they are all heading over once they are done breakfast. He yawns, and starts to type out an unenthusiastic answer until he feels it.

A small movement against the top of his hand.

Like maybe Mickey’s fingers had twitched.

Ian’s heart beats wildly in his chest, and he swallows hard as he stares at his hand and then at Mickey for at least five solid minutes. He wonders if his mind is playing fucking tricks on him, just trying to give him what he wants, because the other boy still isn’t moving.

“ _Fuck_ ” Ian whispers, his heart throbbing with disappointment. His eyes start to burn with tears, but then…

But then Mickey’s hand moves again, stronger this time, and reflexively squeezes against his.

The dark-haired boy groans and slowly opens his tired blue eyes, Ian staring at him while tears run down his face, completely in shock. If he’d thought his heart was beating fast earlier, it’s about to jump out of his fucking chest now.

“What the fuckkk” Mickey groans, his blue eyes looking around the room in confusion underneath a deeply furrowed brow. “Why are you crying?”

Ian sobs even harder in response, and Mickey’s face slowly forms into a frown as he comes to a little more, yanking away the oxygen mask from his face as soon as he notices it.

“Why am I wearing a fucking dress?” he demands, looking at his outfit with disgust.

Ian hammers on the button to call the nurse, starting to laugh like an idiot through his tears. “It’s a hospital gown Mickey”.

“My ass is showing” Mickey grumbles, shifting just enough in his bed to show Ian that indeed, his ass is on display.

Ian doesn’t manage to get any words out in response that time, still pressing the button for assistance repeatedly as he laughs harder and cries at the same time, a mess of snot and tears at this point.  

Mickey frowns at him for a moment and then blinks hard, raising his eyebrows sharply in shock as he remembers. About ten different expressions morph across his face in a matter of seconds, “Oh fuck, the fucking truck…are you okay??” he asks hoarsely, staring at Ian like he’s some fucking ghost.

“ _Yes I’m fucking okay_ , are you okay?” Ian garbles, grabbing his face to give him a kiss instead of waiting for an answer.  Mickey’s doctor and a nurse suddenly come into the room without knocking, immediately glancing over at Mickey’s vitals before they swoop in to take over, moving a very worked-up Ian over to the side temporarily.

He’d be annoyed if he hadn’t of been pressing the assistance button like a maniac for the past minute or two, trying to conjure exactly this. Instead, he watches and waits anxiously for what they have to say.

“How are you feeling Mr. Milkovich?” the doctor asks, scanning over his face in concern, “You’ve been in a self-induced coma for the past couple days, do you remember what happened?”

Mickey tries to move but now that the shock has worn off, he’s aware the pain again, and he grimaces, “Yeah. Fucking idiot in the next lane smashed my bike”.

Ian looks over at the doctor for reassurance, who starts to nod encouragingly as he looks Mickey over, asking him a variety of questions. “There was an accident, yes. I’m seeing good signs... No apparent cognitive damage. Of course, you must be in a lot of pain. We’ll continue to manage it intravenously”.

Mickey laughs drily, “Only got hit by a fucking truck. It’s not that bad though” he says, turning his eyes to look at Ian instead, who just shakes his head, his eyes still brimming.

The doctor nods. “Yes…well. We tried contacting your father, Terry Milkovich, but we couldn’t-“

The look on Mickey’s face makes Ian’s heart break. Like he wouldn’t expect anything different, so there’s no disappointment in hearing this, but still, there’s flash of hurt in those blue eyes.  

“-It’s fine. He wouldn’t come anyways. My sister here?” he suddenly asks, trying to change the subject.

“Mandy’s here” Ian quickly tells him, “And so is everyone else. They’re here for both of us” he tells the doctor, as he shoots Fiona a text to hurry up, adding,

“ ** _He’s awake!!!!_** ”

The doctor helps an impatient Mickey to completely remove the oxygen mask from around his head, handing it to the nurse on duty to take away. “That’s fine. We just want to make sure before any discharges that you have someone to go home with you. We’d like to keep you until at least tomorrow Mr. Milkovich, and after that it’s up to you. If you can manage at home with painkillers we can arrange for that as well. Either way, the cast has to stay on for at least five weeks”.

“If Ian’s staying I’m staying too” Mickey answers immediately, frankly not giving a shit about his fractured arm at the current moment. “He’s fuckin family”.

The doctor pauses at the door and smiles, “Mr. Gallagher has already technically been discharged, he just requested to stay here with you. He took over the role for caretaker as well, so that will not be included in your medical bill”.

“Caretaker?” Mickey asks slowly, as the doctor leaves the room. “Did you fuckin-“

“Stop. Would you rather have a stranger wipe your ass or me?” Ian answers firmly, ignoring Mickey’s look of both utter annoyance and embarrassment. He opens his mouth to argue some more, but the door opens again and in pile a bunch of Gallaghers, a Fisher, a Ball, and a Milkovich, all looking very relieved.

“Oh thank God” Fiona immediately says, right as Mandy comes over with a giant grin on her face. “If you died I would have killed you” she tells her brother, lightly slugging his shoulder.

“Thanks sis” Mickey says, smirking through his wince as he is momentarily distracted. He accepts her gentler hug without comment, and as the rest of Ian’s family and their neighbors Kev and V talk and express their relief and make jokes to each other, Ian feels another squeeze against his hand.

Finally.

He looks over at Mickey, and sees a little smile on his face.  He smiles back, knowing what Mickey’s thinking.

Blood might mean something, but it didn’t mean everything. His dad might not give a shit, but his fucking family, these people, did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warm and fuzzies <3 told you guys you wouldn't have to wait long :) Also thanks again so much for the feedback, comments, and kudos, it really helps me keep the story moving :)


	71. Jell-O

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey isn't the easiest patient for the hospital workers, but Ian is happy to take care of him back home after Fiona makes him a thoughtful offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having a ton of laptop problems (corrupted files, can't even load AO3) and posting this from my phone, but hopefully they are resolved soon otherwise there might be a delay in posting.  
> Fingers crossed!!

*Ian’s POV*

Ian is pretty sure that the hospital staff is just as eager for Mickey to leave as he is keen to go. He’s still annoyed about both the previous bedpan situation and the hospital gown, and if he’s not pushing away a nurse so he can clean his wounds on his own (“I can do it my fucking self”) he’s bitching about how they keep bringing him cherry Jell-O instead of lime or orange.

“What, I get hit by a truck and I can’t even get the fucking Jell-O I like?” he frowns, as the nurse sighs at him yet again. Ian grins as she leaves the room, taking the offending bowl of Jell-O with her.

“You have no idea how good it is to hear you being a dick again” he says fondly.

Mickey raises one eyebrow sharply at him as though he’s offended, but then laughs, quickly grabbing his ribs and groaning as he does.

“You’re supposed to be nice to your body” Ian says, mocking the nurse who had been in here earlier, giving him shit for smoking in his room. That hadn’t gone over so well either.

Reminded of his cigarettes, Mickey reaches behind himself for his hidden packet of Marlboro’s and licks his bottom lip, “I like it better when you’re nice to it”.

Ian blushes as he sparks the lighter, “We can’t fuck here Mickey”.

His boyfriend raises his eyebrow, “Who said anything about fucking?” he asks innocently. He pops his cigarette between his perfect lips and reaches under his sheet, and Ian can tell he’s touching himself.

“Been like four fuckin days since I blew my load” Mickey complains around his smoke, continuing to fumble his dick with his left hand while Ian tries to force himself to just focus on the magazine on his lap.

“You were unconscious for three of those!” he laughs weakly, but the amusement dies in his throat as Mickey groans heavily with pleasure.

“My dick wasn’t”.

He closes his blue eyes as he keeps working himself salaciously, and Ian glances back to the door, wondering if it’s actually worth the risk of possibly having a doctor, a nurse, or an unsuspecting sibling walking in on them, and then dealing with the following embarrassment.

Fuck it. It had been four days for him too.

Ian moves the sheet from over Mickey’s body and lowers his head down underneath it for privacy, Mickey grinning with appreciation and closing his eyes again as Ian’s mouth wraps around his cock.

He pulls off to slowly and seductively French kiss the sides of Mickey’s shaft, taking his time to really get him going before he goes for the grand finale. His plan backfires when a dribble of precum almost immediately reaches his lips, Mickey barely holding it together after four days without release.

Ian gives up on the teasing and lowers his mouth up and down over Mickey’s cock more deeply, his cheeks and saliva making wet suction sounds as the tip reaches the back of his throat.

Mickey groans again, moving his left hand under Ian’s chin to awkwardly jerk himself off at the same time.

He winces as he comes, his chest probably aching from the tension of his bruised ribs, but clearly it was worth it to him, because the look on his face afterwards is pure bliss.

Before Ian has a chance to feel satisfied with himself, the door to Mickey’s hospital room starts to open and Ian quickly swallows and pulls away from his boyfriend’s junk, Mickey covering himself with the sheet right as Fiona pops her head innocently into the room.

“Can I talk to you for a second Ian?”

Ian nods and follows his sister out into the hallway, wondering what she wants. His cheeks are a little red from embarrassment, but she either didn’t notice what she almost walked in on or isn’t mentioning it.

“What’s up?” he asks, as casually as he can. He wonders if she can smell it on his breath. Is that a thing?

Fiona bites her lip, “I’ve been thinking, and talking to Mandy. She’s not living at home right now…and neither of us think it’s a very good idea for Mickey to stay there with that psycho Terry on his own, especially while he’s already injured”.

Ian swallows hard for the second time in the past few minutes, his mind immediately switching pathways. “Are you saying he can stay with us?” he asks slowly.

Fiona nods agreeably, “Well, at least until he gets better Ian yeah, I think that would be alright. I already talked to the boys, if Lip visits he’ll stay on the couch, and Carl’s going to take the top bunk for a while. That way you can both get your rest and heal up. As far as school goes, I want you back by Wednesday. With Mickey, we’ll wait and see”.

As much as he doesn’t want to go back to school without him, Ian nods his head eagerly, sincerely grateful for her offer. “Okay, okay! Let me talk to him”.

He’d more than love having Mickey stay with them for a while, spending their entire days together…

“Ian!” she calls out impatiently, waiting for him to return to her side after he spins around and immediately tries to take off.

He sighs and approaches her again slowly, “Yes?”

“This is not permanent, okay? Just until he gets better and the cast comes off” she says firmly.

“Just until the cast comes off” Ian repeats, bobbing his head up and down in agreeance as he leaves her side again. This time, she doesn’t stop him.

When Ian goes back into Mickey’s room, he’s finishing up what seems like a much more pleasant conversation with the nurse, who just raises her eyebrows and looks at Ian knowingly before she leaves. Apparently, his boyfriend was much more agreeable after he’d gotten his rocks off.

Ian blushes again and turns to Mickey once she’s gone, “I just talked to Fiona. She’s inviting you to stay with us until you’re all healed up” he says breathlessly.

Mickey looks genuinely surprised at the offer, “Really?”

“Yeah. That’s what she wanted to talk to me about”.

Mickey had slept over before, many times, but he had never stayed for longer than two nights in a row before.

He looks uncertain, “I don’t want to be a fuckin problem for you guys”.

Ian rolls his eyes, coming over to give Mickey a kiss on top of his mussed up hair. “You wouldn’t be. Please?”

*Mickey’s POV*

Mickey walks into the Gallagher house, his temporary home, with a little help from Ian, who’s own pain is apparently more than bearable now that he’s awake.

They are both still taking T3’s, but for the most part, as long as they take it easy they are doing okay, and of course Mickey didn’t want to stay in the hospital any fucking longer than he had to. If they weren’t always grabbing at him and trying to nose around his injuries, they were bringing him bowls of shitty Jell-O.

You might not think Jell-O can be shitty, it’s always in the same gelatinous and colorful form, right?

Wrong. Mickey knows his fucking Jell-O and he wasn’t going to take the hospital trying to pull any fast ones on him. He doesn’t remember a whole lot from around the exact time of the accident, but apparently, he’d been unconscious as soon as he hit the ground and had stayed that way until approximately three days later, when he’d awoken to see a very worn out and scared looking Ian holding his hand.

It was hard for Mickey, knowing Ian had seen him that way. That he’d been unconscious, and completely reliant on other people to take care of his body. The thought still made him angry and embarrassed, so he tried to shove it out of his head whenever it tried to sneak in, and instead just appreciate that it was at least Ian who saw the most of it.

He’s more grateful for Ian coming out of the accident okay, because he never would have been able to fucking forgive himself if anything had happened to that gangly ginger. Never would have been able to look the Gallaghers in the eyes again afterwards.

And now he’s fucking living with them.

“Hey man, me and Kevin picked up your bike and stuff from the impound, left it in the backyard” Lip tells him as he reaches the kitchen, awkwardly navigating his cast around the tight squeezes in the Gallagher house.

“Seriously? How’s it look?” Mickey asks, suddenly concerned again. He has no idea what to expect after the accident, considering they’d hit the tire and not metal, but he’d be pretty fucking heartbroken if he’d lost his bike too.

Lip shrugs from his place at the table, and finishes his beer. “I don’t know, not that bad I guess. Think I could help you fix it if you want”.

Mickey nods at the older Gallagher and slowly walks to the back door, pressing it open gingerly to inspect the damage before him.

The helmets are a little scratched up obviously, and the visors will need definitely to be replaced… but as a whole they look pretty good. The bike isn’t so bad either, it’s damage is all stuff Mickey probably can repair on his own after his lessons with Rob.

He whistles his relief, “Not that bad” he says cheerfully.

He feels Ian hovering behind him and he turns with his eyebrow raised and smiles, expecting to see his boyfriend looking as just relieved as him. Instead, Ian looks miserable.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey immediately asks, frowning as he reaches for Ian’s face with his one still functioning arm. The cast is itchy as hell, and he already can’t wait to get rid of the fucking thing...

Ian glances at his older brother, who takes the hint and leaves to head up the stairs, his expression making it clear that he wants to avoid being privy to the emotional conversation.

Ian steps out onto the back porch of the Gallagher house without saying anything though, and Mickey quickly follows him, staring at him in concern.

“You’re freaking me out” Mickey says in annoyance, watching Ian’s troubled face, “You been taking your meds?”

He’d seen Ian taking his daily medications on their trip, but he’d missed almost four days afterwards while he was unconscious and had no idea if Ian had kept up the regimen.

The redhead lets out a shaky and guilt-filled sigh, “Yeah. It’s not that. I feel like shit because I should Mick, this…your arm, the accident, your bike…it’s all my fault. I’m so fucking sorry”.

Mickey had probably been expecting anything but that load of horse shit, but maybe he should have been. Ian had a habit of blaming himself for shit like this that no one could have controlled, and it makes Mickey’s temper flare, the situation not helped by the throbbing pain starting to edge back into his body through the analgesics.

“Will you stop fucking do that?” he snaps, “It’s not your fault, it’s not my fucking fault, it’s no one’s fault. It just is what it fucking is Ian”. He waves his one working arm in exasperation.

“I wanted to get away-“

Mickey interrupts Ian’s attempted argument immediately, “Yeah, and so did I! You think I would have gone if I didn’t fucking want to? Fuck Ian, I wouldn’t trade those days with you for… for anything” Mickey softens as the realization hits him at the same moment he confesses it to Ian.

He really wouldn’t trade those days, even if it meant the accident never would have happened.

Ian’s green eyes flash over to him hesitantly, and Mickey nods his head, holding his gaze as he reaches out to put a comforting hand on Ian’s slumped shoulder. He grabs the redhead and pulls him closer so he can kiss the side of his head, and then he finally sees a tiny reassuring smile on Gallagher’s face.

“That’s what I like to see” he says softly into Ian’s ear.

The porch door opens behind them and they both turn to see Debbie suddenly standing there, holding a bowl in her arms.

“I made Jello-O” she says proudly, offering it to them. She’s carrying a bottle of his pain medication too, helpful kid.

Mickey feels his face automatically split into a grin as he takes it and the forks she offers next. “Thanks Debs. Orange is probably my favorite”. He’d gotten so used to be around the Gallaghers, he’d starting picking up on their nicknames for each other, and it was something that Ian seemed to just love.

“I know” Debbie answers happily, glancing over at her older brother and smiling shyly.

*Ian’s POV*

Ian and the rest of the Gallaghers are more than used to Debbie’s culinary creations, the majority of them surprisingly being successes, but Mickey is simply fascinated as he stares into the bowl that’s filled with dozens of perfectly cut cubes of bright orange Jell-O.

He points at the bowl with his thumb, “How’d you get it into those perfect fucking squares? It looks awesome”.

Debbie smiles even wider, and sits down beside him on the steps, explaining with her hands how she pours it into a dish and then cuts it carefully after it sets at specific temperatures.

Mickey nods his understanding and listens attentively as he pops cube after cube into his mouth. Her actual siblings were much less interested in hearing her cooking rants after a few years of them, and having a new audience is clearly golden to her.

“Well you’re gonna have to show me sometime, so I can make it back at home” Mickey finally tells her, Ian’s little sister beaming with pride.

“I will!” she says, taking the now empty bowl back. “Thanks Chef Debs” Ian says, smiling as the little girl skips back up the stairs and into the house to return to her game of Pac Man Rally with Carl.

“Told you iy wouldn’t be a problem, you staying here. We’re all sick of each other, now we have a new person to bug” Ian teases, gently knocking Mickey’s shoulder with his fist.

The eye roll Mickey gives him is more than clear, he’s not fucking bothered by a Gallagher.

That night, after watching Mickey struggle to get undressed for a solid ten minutes using just his left hand, Ian comes over wordlessly to help, sensing his boyfriend’s mounting frustration.

“I can do it myself” Mickey insists, flipping him off and dropping his pants as a result. He sighs in frustration.

“I know. I like undressing you” Ian says, purposefully making his voice more sensual. There was only one fucking way Mickey would let him take care of him without argument. He had to disguise it with ulterior motives.

Mickey lifts an eyebrow in interest as Ian finishes stripping him, and even allows himself to be led to the bathroom via a towel wrapped around his waist before he says anything.

“So, uh, you gonna be nurse Gallagher or something?”

Ian extends Mickey’s arm with the cast outside of the shower to protect it from getting wet, and turns on a stream of warm water, getting in behind him.

“I don’t think regular nurses get in the shower with their patients but….” he clucks, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth approvingly at the sight of Mickey’s wet ass cheeks, “You ever heard of the Florence Nightingale effect?”

Mickey glances behind himself as Ian grabs a bar of soap, “No?”

Ian kneels on the shower floor behind him and runs his large hands up Mickey’s legs slowly, soaping him right up to his thighs. “It’s when a caregiver develops romantic and or…”

He reaches all the way up to Mickey’s stiffening penis and grips it with his fist, stroking it slowly, “…sexual feelings for their patient”.

Mickey is very quiet for a moment, most likely thinking about how he all of a sudden doesn’t hate being Ian’s ‘patient’ too much anymore.

“Uh, Ian?” he asks after a while, stiffening before he comes, “What’s it called when the patient feels the same way back?”


	72. Even Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit from his older brother Iggy makes Mickey worry, but Ian takes care of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meant to post this yesterday but I've been so tired and busy lately...anyways, here's to 72!

**~~~~**“So good Mickey…that feels so good…I missed this so much”.

Ian pants above Mickey’s back, resting his sweaty hands on Mickey’s broad shoulders as he thrusts inside of him eagerly. They hadn’t fucked since the accident yet, and the occasional hand jobs or blowjobs they snuck in with each other underneath the sheets were mostly just teasing to him.

He gets deep grunts in response from Mickey, but no lengthy moans, sharp gasps, or any of the other appreciative sounds he is used to hearing when they fuck. Ian pauses, missing the usual sexual cacophony created between them when they have an empty house like this.

He leans forward so he can check Mickey’s face and to his disappointment, he sees his blue eyes are squeezed shut and his teeth are gritted in pain as he grips the bed sheets…more pain than pleasure.

Ian immediately stops thrusting and slowly pulls out in concern, and Mickey looks behind himself, his forehead still wrinkled and his cheeks still red from the effort of keeping his mouth shut. “Did you finish?” he pants.

“No” Ian answers, frowning and then adding in annoyance, “Why didn’t you fucking tell me I was hurting you?”

In hindsight, probably a stupid question to ask Mickey Milkovich. Mickey rolls his tired blue eyes, “I’m fuckin fine Gallagher, do your shit. Come on”.

Ian shakes his head emphatically and lays down on the bed beside Mickey, pulling him gently into his arms as he drops his weight. He feels shitty now for teasing Mickey all morning about wanting to fuck him, realizing now that Mickey only gave in to it when they were home alone because he thought it would make Ian happy.

Clearly, his body was still in a lot of pain after the accident…he had taken a lot more physical damage than Ian did.

“I don’t want to anymore. Just cuddle with me” Ian murmurs, nuzzling his nose in against Mickey’s neck. Mickey sighs with resignation, and eases into a more relaxed position in front of him, letting himself be spooned. His warm naked body is the most comforting thing Ian can think of to have against his skin.

After cuddling for a little while Mickey yawns loudly, clearly in need of a nap. “You better wreck me when I’m better Gallagher” he mumbles, jostling his head into a more comfortable position on the flattened pillow.

Ian laughs softly against Mickey’s neck as he closes his eyes to nap with him, promising him with a sincere, “You know it”.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

After several indolent days of mostly lounging in bed or on the living room couch together eating comfort food and popping pain pills, Ian had to respect his promise to his older sister about going back to school.

Even Liam had started kindergarten this year, and that left Mickey absolutely alone during the day, who felt a little strange spending so much time alone in the Gallagher house after being used to it’s constant yet comforting buzz of activities and voices.

After a couple hours of drifting in and out of light naps and watching shitty daytime TV, boredom and curiosity start to get the better of Mickey, and he finds himself poking around in Ian’s room after a while, looking at his stuff.

Well, it’s technically his room right now too, he thinks defensively, as the word ‘snooping’ enters his mind accusingly. He’s not actually looking for anything in particular, he just likes seeing Ian’s stuff…what’s important to him, what he’s held on to over the years. He remembers his mom once telling him you could tell a lot about a person by what they chose to keep.

Mostly it’s cheap knickknacks that he finds in Ian’s beside drawers, and some army shit too that he’d probably collected over the years. Without asking, there’s no way for him to guess their sentimental value.

The rest of the drawer is a little easier to figure out. There’s a stack of Ian’s favorite photographs, most of which he’s in. It makes his heart feel a little warm seeing that, but it’s a broken piece of poster board at very the bottom of the drawer that really catches his attention, making him raise an eyebrow in interest.

Turning it over, he sees Ian had broken off and kept a small piece of their poster board project from last year, the one they’d done together after the Oak Forest trip. Mickey had done the writing on the board himself, covering the top of it with a scrawled “ _Oak Forest Endangered Species- **By**   **Mickey & Ian”.**_

He grins to himself as he realizes Ian had just kept the  ** _Mickey & Ian _**part, their names joined together in his own handwriting and heavily outlined black permanent marker. Ian had such a fucking crush on him then. Who would have fucking thought they’d end up here a year later?

Then again, considering his own feelings for the kid after the Oak Forest trip, maybe it wasn’t such a fucking surprise. He was the one who had outlined their names more than once after all.

Mickey tucks the piece of poster board back where he found it in the drawer, smiling a bit while also silently admonishing himself for turning into such a fucking sap. Over Gallagher anyways. Nothing else.

As far as he’s concerned, everyone else at school can still go fuck themselves.

Mickey startles as he hears the doorbell ring and gets up with a grimace from Ian’s bed, reminding himself to take another fuckin T3 after he deals with whoever’s at the front door. “Who is it” he bellows as he comes down the old set of stairs, of course getting no response until he actually reaches the door and yanks it open with his left hand.

“Iggy?”

“Hey man”.

His eyebrow lifts in surprise at the sight of his older brother, but then his expression shifts into a smile as he sees Mo there too, wagging his tail happily and whining at the sight of him.

Mickey chooses to address his dog first, “Hey bud”. He lowers to his knees and lets the eager dog sniff his cast and then lick his face lovingly. “What are you doing here?” he finally asks, looking up at his older brother as he moves over to let him inside.

Iggy sniffs and shrugs, glancing around the house curiously as he enters. “Heard about your accident, wanted to see how you were doing” he says casually, “You weren’t at Dad’s, and you never answer the fucking phone, so I talked to Mandy. She asked me to bring Mo back to you by the way, said she was sick of babysitting”.

Babysitting. Like feeding him and letting him out for a piss was such a big deal. Whatever.

“Oh…cool, yeah, thanks. Want a beer?” Mickey offers, a little surprised that his brother came by. Iggy nods agreeably and Mickey heads off to the kitchen, “How’s school going?” he calls, remembering his brother had signed up for a bunch of random college classes, undeclared. None of the Milkoviches had seen that one coming.

“Good. Like philosophy a lot” Iggy answers, settling in on the old couch. Mickey shakes his head in dumb amusement at his answer, but doesn’t make fun of his brother as he joins him, handing him the other beer wordlessly.

“So why are you staying here?” Iggy finally asks, and his tone sounds a little off…like maybe there’s a question within the question. It makes Mickey feel weird. 

He shrugs, “Why wouldn’t I? Should I be staying with fuck face back home?”

Iggy’s eyes fall on him and the look in them makes him even more uncomfortable, “I guess not. It’s just…I find it kinda weird, you know? You run away with Gallagher, after buying him a wicked expensive helmet for his birthday, and then when you get in an accident, he won’t even leave the hospital without you? And now you live here?”

Mickey almost chokes on his beer as Iggy’s casual visit takes on the tone of a poorly guised interrogation. “The fuck you gettin at?” he frowns, his tone more defensive than he meant for it to be.

Fucking Mandy must have filled him in on more than she realized, and Iggy wasn’t actually as stupid as he fucking looked. He knew Mickey better than any of his other brothers, and could probably put two and two together at this point. Still, he’s banking on it only being suspicions at this point.

Iggy shakes his head, “After I talked to Mandy, I went back to Dad’s place. Told him you owed me some money-“

“I don’t” Mickey interjects in annoyance.

“I know, I just said that you did so he’d let me in your room. Anyways, you might want to hide your spank bank material a little better…left it right on the floor”.

_What the-_

Mickey splutters in anger, “ _You went through my shit_?”

Iggy nods unabashedly, putting his cards right on the table.

“Yeah… so you wanna address the fact that there’s a fucking pic of Gallagher tucked in there?”

Mickey knows he’s going red, and at this point his mind is a little loose from both pain and shock, as he blurts out angrily, “What do you want me to fucking say, huh?”

How could he have been so fucking stupid to leave that out? When Ian had texted him that night saying he needed him, he literally just dropped everything and ran.

Iggy laughs softly, shaking his head. “I think you fucking know. I’m your brother dude…you can tell me”.

 _Is this some fucking pill induced dream?_  This horseshit can’t be reality. Mickey throws his hand up in exasperation, staring daggers at his brother as he does. What happens next can only be described as word vomit, “What? What do you wanna fucking hear Iggy? _I fuckin love him, alright_?”

He’s not sure who’s more surprised by his unplanned confession, him or Iggy, but maybe Iggy is, because his eyes almost bulge out of his head as soon as the words leave his brother’s mouth.

 “You- you love him?” he repeats dumbly, “ _What the_...I thought you were just fucking him!”

“I am” Mickey answers in annoyance, nursing his beer to ease the burning in his cheeks. His face is hot with embarrassment at this point. Must be the fucking pain medication, making him talk without fucking thinking. But it’s too late to backtrack now.

“Oh…oh wow” Iggy whistles, redoubling his efforts to stare at his brother in disbelief. “Are you  _sure_ you’re gay, Mickey? Like, have you ever gotten a girl to stick her finger up your-“

“Shut, _the fuck_ , up” Mickey groans, shaking his head. “It’s not just about that. He’s it man”.

“What do you mean, he’s it?” Iggy says slowly, like maybe he’s fucking stupid. Mickey narrows his eyes at him, “I mean, he’s it”.

As soon as he says it, a flash of Ian appears in his mind, like his brain had already connected the two. It calms him for a second, picturing Ian…where he is now…what he’s up to at school…

Iggy soon bursts that bubble.

“What the fuck are you thinking Mick? Living here... and playing fucking house with him? How long do you think you can get away with that shit?” he demands, his concern for his brother obvious, but it still rubs Mickey the wrong way.

“Dad doesn’t fucking know. No one does, other than Mandy and his family. And we’re gonna keep it that way, you fuckin hear me?” Mickey curls his left fist threateningly, but Iggy doesn’t even seem to notice.

“For how long Mick? He’s gonna what, sit around and be with you forever? You got no fuckin job anymore, no house. Why would he stay in this? You can’t even be with him in this neighborhood, Dad will find out eventually and fucking kill you. Jesus, it’s like you actually think you’re gonna marry this fucker someday or something”.

Iggy’s rant has Mickey’s blue eyes flashing, he’s so fucking mad he can’t event think straight anymore. “I fucking will if I want to. Can’t believe I actually thought you visited because you give a shit about me” he spits, jabbing a tattooed finger at his brother.

“I  _do_  give a shit. I planned the visit before I even figured any of this shit out. But you have to get real Mick, you’re eighteen. You don’t even know what you fucking want yet and you're gonna risk your life over this?” Iggy insists, raising his hands in innocence. “I’m worried about you bro”.

“Oh don’t give me that shit. You know damn well I haven’t been a fucking kid since mom died. And if you think it’s any different for Gallagher, you’re wrong. His fucking sister raised him” Mickey says, shaking his head in disbelief.

Iggy looks a little cowed, like maybe he is ready for this conversation to end. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t a fair point. But the rest is. I know it’s shitty man, but…in our world, it is what it is”.

“Don’t throw my own fucking saying back at me fuckhead, who the fuck do you think you are giving out life advice? You and your philosophy bullshit…” Mickey trails off into an angry mutter as his brother crushes his can and heads for the door, Mickey’s assumption about him being done with talking correct.

“Thanks for the beer”. Iggy opens the front door and some cool October air rushes in after him, while Mickey just blinks at his brother, wondering when the fuck his life turned into such a landslide.

“Don’t ever think I don’t care. Just trying to talk some sense into your thick fuckin skull” Iggy says simply before he leaves, pulling the door closed behind himself.

And with that, Iggy is gone, and Mickey is left sitting on the Gallagher’s couch alone, stunned into silence.

* **Ian’s POV** *

When Ian gets home after school, he is greeted at the front door by Mickey’s dog Mo as he unlocks it, who he is rather surprised to see.

“Hey there” he says, grinning as he scratches the back of Mo’s dark head. “Where’s Mickey?”

The dog lets out a quiet woof in response, and Ian kicks off his shoes before he follows him back upstairs, towards his own bedroom. He soon sees Mickey sleeping peacefully on his bed, passed out on his stomach, so he sits down beside him on the bed gently, running one hand down over his back to wake him up.

Mickey arches a dark eyebrow slowly as he comes to, one blue eye rolling in his direction to regard Ian before he smiles at the sight of him and shifts a little to move his face off the pillow. “Hey” he says sleepily, Mo wagging his tail at the two of them.

“Hey sleepy head. I brought you a milkshake”. Ian waves the heavy McDonald’s cup by his hand and Mickey takes it almost instantly. “Gonna make me fucking fat, keep bringing me this shit” he complains, even as he immediately starts sucking on the straw to pull the cold strawberry sweetness to his mouth.

Ian just grins and reaches down to gently squeeze his ass, “Wouldn’t mind. More cushion for the pushin”.

“Fuck off” Mickey laughs, but then his expression changes a little as he fully wakes, a reflection of seriousness now lying in his blue eyes. “Why are you with me Gallagher?” he suddenly asks, his tone quiet and pensive.

The question catches Ian off guard, changing the mood almost instantly, and he does a double take. “Random much?” he scoffs, laughing.

“I’m serious”.

Mickey stops paying any attention to his milkshake and gives him a stare that demands an answer, and Ian’s not sure what one he should give, because he doesn’t know what brought this on.

He hesitates before he responds as honestly as he can, “Because…because I don’t know Mickey, it feels right. You and me, it makes sense to me. Even when it doesn’t. I love you, isn’t that obvious?”

Mickey’s eyes don’t give away much, whether he found that reassuring or not, and Ian wonders where this random moment of self doubt came from. Mickey was prone to them, sure, but the longer they had been together, the less often he had begun to question their relationship.

So why was he doing it now?

“Yeah, I know you love me now. But what…what if like five years from now, I actually was fucking fat. Or broke. Or…I don’t know. What if I had a shitty and embarrassing job, or a crappy apartment? Would you still love me then? Still want to do this?”

Ian stares at his boyfriend, the air between them loaded as Mickey waits for an answer.

He bites his bottom lip and runs one hand down over Mickey’s dark hair, noticing how tense he is now. He looks directly into Mickey’s eyes as he answers confidently, no doubt in his mind.

“Even then. Even if you were fucking fat, broke, _and_ living in a shitty apartment. I’d live there with you, and I’d still love you”.

Mickey finally relaxes slightly, and motions for Ian to lay down beside him, who obliges immediately. After a few quiet moments, Ian teases gently, “Why, are you _planning_ on being any of these things?”  

Mickey seems more like himself as he answers with a grin and a raised eyebrow, “Fuck no. I’m only gonna get sexier Gallagher, just you wait and see”.

“I don’t know, I kind of like you now” Ian answers thoughtfully, lifting Mickey’s chin to reach his lips.

Mickey hums a little into the kiss, and before Ian presses his tongue into his mouth after few minutes of kissing, he whispers heavily, “I kind of love you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Ian is sort of "upper class" south side while Milkoviches are bottom of the barrel, so makes sense Mick & his family might doubt Ian's long term intentions to stick around, but in this fic I think Ian is the type to stay through anything :)


	73. When The Future Comes Fucking Knocking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks of the future have both boys thinking about how they will make a living.

Ian avoids stepping on the forgotten mail by the doorstep as he comes home after work, greeted by the bright sound of some goofy kid’s show on the television in the living room.

Entering the living room, he sees Mickey passed out on the couch beside Liam, who has apparently abandoned the Spiderman coloring book in front of himself in favor of drawing on Mickey’s once white cast.

“Hey” Ian says cautiously, unwinding his scarf as he approaches them. He points at Mickey’s cast, “Did Mickey say you could do that?” he asks, Liam shaking his head with delight in response. Mickey’s brows start to twitch at the sound of Ian’s voice, and he comes to as Ian inspects Liam’s work, opening his eyes and rubbing his left hand across them while he yawns.

“Hey…how was school and work?”

“Good” Ian answers slowly, turning his head slightly to watch as Liam colors in yet another person on Mickey’s cast.

It appears to be the Gallaghers as a stick figure family, including Mickey and his dog Mo. Mickey frowns in confusion at Ian’s expression and follows his gaze to his cast, his eyes widening as he sees the colorful artwork sprawled across it.

He looks like he’s holding back a _“fuck”_ , but as Liam looks up at him and smiles, waiting for his reaction, Mickey simply nods.

“Wow…uh, looks great Liam. Thanks”.

Liam seems happy as a clam with his compliment, and continues drawing while Mickey blinks and resigns himself to his fate as a human canvas. “Where is everyone?” Ian asks, glancing around the house. Other than Lip, who was away at school, he was expecting everyone else to be at home.

“Uh, Debbie and Carl are upstairs I guess. Fiona’s on a date…she asked me to babysit” Mickey answers.

“Sleeping on the job?” Ian teases, getting a middle finger in response as Mickey stands up.

“Well I don’t get paid for this shit” he grumbles, letting Ian kiss him on the forehead as he passes him to head into the kitchen, hungry as hell after a grueling shift. Mickey might be worn out looking after three kids, but Ian had just spent three hours helping to train fifteen of them.

“Your food’s in the microwave” Mickey calls after him, Ian nodding as he goes to inspect what Mickey had thrown together for himself and the kids.

Considering he was working with one hand, the plate of fish sticks and previously frozen mixed vegetables that he finds is not too bad. Besides, Gallaghers can’t be choosers.

“So…” Mickey drawls as he comes into the kitchen, leaning across the table from him as he eats, “I’m thinking I’ll go with you tomorrow”.

“To school?” Ian asks, stopping mid bite. Mickey nods, waiting to see his reaction, but to be honest, Ian isn’t thrilled.

“Are you sure you feel better? I don’t mind doing your assignments and shit Mickey, honestly” he insists.

It’s not that he doesn’t want Mickey back at school, he’d love that, but the sooner Mickey gets better, the sooner he has to go home. His cast is due to come off in two weeks already, and Ian really doesn’t want him to leave.

Mickey shrugs, “Could have gone back like a week ago. But it was helping Fiona if I stayed here you know? She was picking up extra shifts, and she needed to with an extra fucking mouth to feed. Well, two mouths” he says thoughtfully, looking down at his dog.

“I’ve been giving her extra” Ian says casually, but it’s clear Mickey has already made up his mind, as he waves off Ian’s comment.

Dammit.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Mickey Milkovich was not one to not contribute.

He might not be able to pull the kind of cash he did when he was collecting, but he could still shake down the kids at school for some extra money to pitch in at the Gallaghers, and that’s exactly what he intended on doing.

Mickey glares up at the bunk bed above him, “Can you fucking not?”

Carl might be the only Gallagher that had the nerve to constantly test him, and he hears the little shit giggle in response. He’d been kicking the wall above him for the past ten fucking minutes, and Mickey was past the point of being able to ignore it like he usually did. Ian looks over at him from his own bed in amusement, lowering the book he’d been reading.

“Sharing a room isn’t always fun” he says meaningfully.

“Is it fucking ever?” Mickey grumbles back, aiming a vicious kick at the mattress above him. Carl ceases his own kicking with a groan and Mickey grins in satisfaction.

That was another reason he needed to go back to school, he was spending way too much time cooped up inside and fucking babysitting like he was some suburban stay-at-home mom.

Shit was driving him crazy.

Fiona comes marching into the bedroom carrying a stack of Ian’s crap that he’d left on the kitchen table and a crumpled piece of paper, and Mickey promptly lowers his leg, returning his attention to the Chemistry assignment he’d been reviewing.

“Ian, why was this in the garbage?” Fiona frowns, unfolding the paper as she sits down on the edge of his mattress. Mickey glances over subtly as Ian shrugs, “Don’t need it”.

It’s a paper for Career Day, Mickey can see, the yearly setup in their highschool gym for grade 12’s to get their asses in gear before it’s time to choose a program and apply for schools.

Fiona looks at him with a sarcastic expression on her face, “Oh, so you already know where you’re going next year? What you want to do?”

“I didn’t say that”.

“Well then? Are you still planning on joining the army or not?” she pushes.

Ian scowls, and Mickey tries to pretend like he’s not even interested in the conversation, but he fucking is.

Ian is shaking his head now, “I don’t think so”.

Fiona sighs, and even Carl goes relatively quiet, ready for one of her lectures. Ian didn’t often get shit from his older sister, but when he did, the younger one loved it.

“Listen Ian, I’m not going to let you stay here in this house next year unless you are planning on going to school. You have too much potential to just settle for some crappy minimum wage job for the rest of your life. You want to be stuck like me when you’re older? I’d have killed to be able to go to school”.

Silence.

Mickey doesn’t glance over again, but he’s pretty sure Ian’s lack of response is either due to guilt or annoyance.

She tries again, her tone softer now, more sad. “Ian…how are you going to take care of your family some day? You want to be digging through garbage, looking for extra coupons just so you can feed them? And I’m not just picking on you either, if you think I didn’t have the same conversation with Lip last year, well, you can ask him”.

“Fine I’ll go” Ian finally caves, sounding a little embarrassed. For that matter, Mickey’s a little fucking embarrassed. He was right there in the room and talks of the future, and Ian having a shitty one, sort of implied he’d have something to do with it. Well, that’s how he felt anyways.

First Iggy’s shit, and now this. He’d never had to deal with this shit before when he was growing up, thinking about the future like this. He had always accepted his fate as either doing what his dad did, or working some shitty minimum wage job and raising bratty kids with a bitchy wife he didn’t want, because he thought that’s all he could have.

And then Ian Gallagher happened. He sort of changed everything.

And no… Mickey didn’t want to have Ian digging through the trash to make ends meet, because he deserved so much better than that.

Maybe this career day thing is worth looking into.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Sure enough, when Ian wakes up the next morning, Mickey is already the first one downstairs and getting ready for school, jamming toast into the toaster with one hand.

Creeping up behind him silently with his ROTC stealth training in hand, Ian snakes a hand around his soft middle and bites the back of his neck simultaneously, making Mickey jump in surprise.

“Jesus fucking Christ Gallagher” he swears, the look on his face annoyed until Ian lowers a hand to his boxers. A little apologetic rubbing through the plaid material, and he’s soon hard and growling.

“Are we gonna do this or not?”

Ian looks back towards the stairs, considering what their best option is.

He’d fuck Mickey right here against the kitchen counter, but they’d definitely get interrupted. Same if he tried to take the bathroom, and of course their bedroom is definitely out of the question…his eyes finally fall on the stairs by the living room, and he drags Mickey over to it by his working arm, rolling into the privacy of the space underneath it.

“What is this, fuckin Harry Potter?” Mickey grumbles, but he shuts his mouth and stops complaining as soon as Ian draws the sheet across the entrance for privacy and covers Mickey’s mouth with his own, kissing him impatiently. Still feeling pressed for time, Ian lowers one hand lubed with spit down to Mickey’s ass to stretch him a bit, just enough so he can get in without hurting him.

“Hurry the fuck up” Mickey urges after a minute or two, grabbing him by the wrist to take his hand away.

“Alright, alright, sheesh” Ian mutters, lowering his lips to kiss Mickey again as he pushes inside him.

He gets in all the way and moans a little from the unexpected tightness, but of course, he hadn’t been fucking his boyfriend as often as he usually would since the accident.

“Shut up” Mickey warns in a whisper, pressing his palm against Ian’s mouth as he slides into him again. Not more than a dozen feet away, they can both hear his siblings coming into the kitchen.

“Whose toast is this? I’m taking it” Carl announces smugly.

Mickey’s eyes flash open in annoyance, but quickly get heavy and close again as Ian purposely strokes right against his prostate, pressing his tongue against his palm in the same moment. Mickey doesn’t remove his hand from Ian’s mouth right away, but when he does, he immediately replaces it with his own, small sounds escaping from their lips and passing between them intimately.

For once, Ian is glad his family is so goddamn loud in the mornings, and he’s pretty sure Mickey is too.

He rocks into Mickey with a fervor until he feels Mickey tensing around him, and he releases inside of him with a shudder, Mickey coming onto his shirt a few seconds later with a small grunt. Quietly, they ease around each other in the small space until Ian jams his wet and sticky shirt in a ball underneath the stairs before he crawls out, Mickey not far behind.

They are both red faced and sweaty, and the looks on his siblings faces as they notice them crawl out from underneath the stair’s hiding place range from mild disgust, to innocent curiosity.

“Were you hiding?” Liam asks, pointing at the stairs and clapping like he was part of the unknown game.   

“Uh, yeah. Just playing hide and seek” Mickey answers, returning to the toaster for his second attempt at making himself breakfast.

This time, Ian doesn’t interrupt him.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Mickey grins in response to his classmate’s disappointed looks as he strides through the hallways later that morning, intent on making his return known. With Ian running off to hand in one of his late assignments, there’s no one to reign him in right now.

And that’s exactly the opportunity he needs if he’s going to get some money to help out with the Gallagher’s bills. He soon decides on Taylor Carrey, a nerdy kid who’s usually carrying a decent amount of his parent’s cash to buy his lunches with. He’s the type to never look twice at Mickey, not until he’s right in his face.

Like right now.

“Sup Carrey” Mickey says casually, leaning against his locker. The kid doesn’t even bother to hide his groan at the sight of him, “What do _you_ want?”

Mickey looks at his nails in feigned disinterest, not moving out of the way for Brent as he shows up and tries to get to his own locker, which Mickey is currently standing in front of. “A loan” he clarifies, Brent rolling his eyes as he does.

Taylor starts to reach for his wallet without arguing, but Brent, being the douchebag that he is, starts to interrupt.

“What the fuck is on your arm Milkovich?”

Mickey looks down at his cast and frowns, remembering Liam’s artwork a moment too late.

It didn’t exactly help his image to have a happy stick family drawn on his arm, but what the fuck could he do? He’d considered covering it in black paint, but the look on Liam’s face when he casually suggested it, quickly had him withdrawing the idea.

“None of your fuckin business. You know what? I changed my mind. You’re off the hook Carrey, I’ll take my loan from Brent here since he’s so damn interested in what I’m doing”.

The boy scuttles off in relief, Mickey snorting in amusement as he does, but as he turns back to Brent, the boy is just shaking his head in refusal. “I’m not giving you shit Mickey. Get a fucking job you piece of shit”.

“I suggest you just pay up now” Mickey answers smoothly, putting out his arm to block Brent as he tries to leave too. Frankly, Brent had given him enough shit over the years to actually deserve being shaken down, so maybe it’s a good thing he decided to interrupt.

“What are you gonna do?” Brent sneers, looking down at his cast. “God, I don’t know how Gallagher puts up with your ass”.

He fucking loves my ass, Mickey thinks, as he bites his lip in amusement. Instead of sharing that fact however, he simply nods, as if he’s accepting that Brent is not going to give him anything.

But of course, he wouldn’t be a Milkovich if that was true.

“This” he answers calmly, rearing back his left fist to give Brent a powerful strike to the face. Brent grabs his nose and swears, throwing a twenty at the ground, and Mickey shakes his head as he picks it up.

Really, he’s a little disappointed. Usually the kid would put up more of a fight, but really, it’s his own damn fault for thinking Mickey would let a broken arm keep him from kicking anyone’s ass.


	74. What Normal Teenagers Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iggy and Mickey patch things up, Fiona makes a new offer.

* **Ian’s POV** * 

“Fuckin freedom, finally” Mickey sighs, wiggling his tattooed fingers and moving his now cast free arm enthusiastically.

The doctor laughs good naturedly at his exaggerated relief. “It’s always a pain losing your dominant hand for a while. What did you miss the most? My patients can never agree”. “Jerking off” Ian answers for him with a smirk, before Mickey has a chance to answer for himself.

Ian gets a newly strengthened shove from his boyfriend, who clears his throat loudly, “ _Actually_ , this”.

He swings his right arm upwards to give Ian an emphatic middle finger, grinning as he does and nodding his head sarcastically.

After a moment of shuffling his final paperwork, the doctor addresses them with amusement. “Well, you’re all healed up Mr. Milkovich. Have a good day, boys” he says, as they continue to shove each other playfully.

He heads out of the room, and the two of them don’t even realize he’s gone right away because they are so focused on each other. Ian had missed his wrestling partner more than he had realized, but he glances at his watch unintentionally as Mickey gets him in a headlock, and sighs in resignation.

“As much as I’d like to kick your ass right now, I gotta get to work”.

“Did you say you’d like to lick my ass?” Mickey teases, letting go of his upper hand in the fight as Ian rolls his eyes at him, “C’mon, we can both take the bus”. They stop fighting and step outside, pulling their falls jackets back on as they do, but Ian notices how Mickey’s eyes immediately darken at the sight of a car waiting outside the doctor’s office.

It takes him a few seconds to recognize the vehicle, but as the driver leans over and rolls opens the window, Ian sees it’s Iggy’s Volkswagen Golf Hatchback.

“Hey Iggy” he greets Mickey’s brother in a friendly manner, but notices Mickey continues to stare at his brother in a rather hostile manner, like there’s something he’s missed…

“Um…”

Iggy interrupts Ian before he can finish asking what’s up between them, “Heard you were getting your cast off today Mick. Thought I’d offer you guys a ride home, knew you wouldn’t have your bike up and running yet”.

“Actually, we’re good” Mickey answers immediately, pulling out a cigarette coolly and looking off in the other direction like he can’t possibly be bothered to continue this conversation any longer.

“What?” Ian says in surprise, “I actually have to go to work. Would you mind dropping me off by the ROTC training center on West?” he asks Iggy, thinking Mickey can take the bus on his own if he wants to be pissy. It looks like it’s going to rain soon anyways, so fuck that.

“No problem” Iggy answers, shoving open the creaky passenger door to let him in. Ian climbs in the beater car and after a muttered ‘ _for fuck’s sake’_ , Mickey gets in the backseat behind him, slamming his door shut a little harder than was necessary.

“Do you mind going a little easier on my baby?” Iggy groans, turning to raise a dirty blonde eyebrow at his brother. Mickey raises one back, and the family resemblance is suddenly striking.

“Do you mind minding your own fucking business? Car’s a piece of shit anyways” he retorts, Iggy shaking his head in response as he starts the car. “Wait, stop” Ian says, both brothers pausing and looking over at him, “What the fuck is going on between you two? Why do I feel like I’m out of the loop here?”

The tension in the car is palpable, and he feels like he wandered into a fucking battle arena without realizing it.

Iggy doesn’t say anything, just lifts his eyebrows subtly in a prompt, so Ian turns back towards his boyfriend, who still looks annoyed. “Iggy knows” he finally admits gruffly.

Ian hadn’t been expecting that, _at all_ , and he looks over at the older Milkovich in surprise, “What, do you have a problem with it or something?” That wouldn’t be entirely unexpected, considering their father’s views on the matter, but it would be unfortunate.

“No!” Iggy answers emphatically as he pulls out of the lot and onto the road, but his eyes don’t leave the street, and Ian still feels uncertain. “Well what’s the problem then?” he asks slowly, sensing his boyfriend tensing in the backseat again.

“Oh nothing, he just thinks I’m not fucking good enough for you and we’re just playing house by being together” Mickey snaps, flipping off his brother from the backseat as he rants.

Iggy reddens a little at the accusation, glancing back at him in the mirror. “I didn’t fucking say that Mick. I just meant, I don’t really get what you two are doing here. It’s nothing against you Ian, but Mick’s my little bro, and I don’t want to see him get hurt when you guys have to face reality”.

Ian feels a nasty drop in his stomach at the older Milkovich’s words, and he says very quietly, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Iggy starts to answer, but Mickey interrupts before he has a chance to, “Look, you fucking upset him you douchebag, just shut up”.

Ian shakes his head, overriding Mickey’s concern on his behalf. “No, I want to fucking know. What do you mean Iggy?” Rain is indeed starting to fall now, small droplets pegging the rooftop of the car to fill the now awkward silence with a comforting drum.

The blonde Milkovich takes a deep breath as he continues driving and starts up his windshield wipers, “We know what we are, us Milkoviches, Ian. Well, Mickey used to. You know he can’t be with you forever right? Our dad _will_ make him get married to some Ukrainian broad that he finds when he thinks it’s time for Mickey to grow up, and he’ll have to have kids with her. Will that be before or after you decide you’re tired of being with a Milkovich in his situation is the real question though”.

Ian is shocked by how calmly Iggy relays his beliefs to him, and he almost stutters as he gets out indignantly, “That’s _bullshit_. I’m not gonna get fucking tired of being with Mickey. And _he_ \- Mickey wouldn’t, he would never- _would you?”_ he asks, looking back at his boyfriend in disbelief.

Marry some Ukrainian broad? Have kids with her?

“No” Mickey answers firmly, “Not anymore Iggy. I want out of that controlled life, that traditional Milkovich shit. I won’t do it”.

His answer, although somewhat reassuring to Ian, does remind him there was a time he would have.

“Well what are you gonna do when Dad comes after you, telling you it’s time to settle down huh? Show him ginger here?” Iggy asks, shaking his head as he pulls in front of the ROTC building.

“I’ll deal with it when the time comes” Mickey answers firmly, “Ian, don’t fucking worry. I’ll get shit figured out before he starts to bug me about getting married and shit. Have a good shift”.

Mickey closes the conversation just like that, and leans forward from the backseat to give Ian a tender kiss, who senses the sincerity in his promise.

It does help a little, as he undoes his seatbelt and opens the car door into the rain, but Ian wishes there was a way for Iggy to understand his point of view.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Ian takes a few steps away from the car, and then returns to lean against Iggy’s window, searching his concerned face for a sign that he believes him as he says ardently, “Iggy, I’m in love with your brother. I don’t think I’m too good for him, because we’re good _together_. That’s all there is to it. I get that you are worried about him, but you don’t need to protect him from me. I promise. He’s…he’s everything to me”.

And with that, Ian leaves for real, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he heads into the ROTC building for his shift.

The car is silent for a moment other than the continuously falling rain drops, and Iggy sits with his hands on the wheel, still in shock from actually seeing his brother kiss another boy, and from Ian’s heartfelt confession.

Finally, he speaks, guilt layering his voice. “Shit. I’m sorry man. I’ll…I’ll do what I can to help, you know, when it’s time”. Mickey nods, swallowing the stupid fucking lump in his throat as he looks back from out the window, where the grey sky had been reflecting his mood.

“It’s fine” he says gruffly, “And…thanks. Appreciate it man”.

“Of course. Now get up here” Iggy tells him, shooting him a reckless grin from the front seat, “You aren’t no backseat bitch and I owe you a _beer_ ”.

After a couple hours of shooting the shit and ordering cheap beer in the Alibi, Mickey finds himself opening up a little bit more to Iggy, who really does seem genuine in his concern that’s now coupled with support after hearing Ian speak so frankly about his feelings for his brother.

“I know it fucking seems crazy Ig, trust me, I get it.  Even last year, when we first started up shit, never thought I’d be planning a future with the kid. But… he makes me feel like, I don’t know. Like I want a good life, and maybe I deserve it for once. He actually loves me Ig, gives a shit about me. And yeah I know you guys do too, but it’s different. He wasn’t family”. 

Iggy nods slowly, taking another gulp of his Pabst blue ribbon beer as he ponders over his brother’s words. “Never been in love like that man. Not yet, anyways. Hoping I’ll find it before Dad does for me”.

He laughs softly, and Mickey shakes his head. “You don’t have to do what he fucking wants either” he reminds him, playing with the metal cap from his beer bottle awkwardly.

“It’s not really a big deal to me Mick. Either I’ll find a girl I like enough to settle down with and pass on the family name, or he’ll do it for me. Like I said, not in love with anyone. Wife and kids isn’t the worst future to have, unless of course, uh, you want like a husband and kids instead”.

Mickey nods silently, appreciating his brother’s awkward attempts to normalize his situation. He never thought he’d end up having any of his family’s support, and now he had two siblings on his side. It was a good feeling.

Tipsy but not drunk, Iggy drops him off at the Gallagher house about an hour later before he heads off to start his night shift, calling out affectionately “Love you bro” before he drives away.

Mickey raises his hand in farewell as he walks up towards the Gallagher’s house, calling behind himself, “Love you too”. As he comes inside, he sees Liam passed out on the couch, clutching a stuffed animal and being serenaded in his sleep by a singing cartoon elephant on the TV screen.

Grimacing at the garish kid’s show, Mickey continues on through the warm house towards the kitchen, where Ian’s older sister Fiona is currently looking over some bills with her trusty battered calculator in hand, while simultaneously biting her nails.

Mickey moves his now free arm uncomfortably, knowing it’s time for the awkward conversation he knew was going to fucking come at some point as she looks up at him.

Ian had been avoiding his older sister like the plague, not wanting to give her a chance to say it was time for Mickey to leave, but Mickey himself was well aware of the deal too, and he didn’t want to push himself on the family if he wasn’t wanted.

“Hey” he says casually, pulling out a chair across from her.

“Hey Mickey” she answers softly, “So-“

Mickey interrupts her, “I’ll go home tomorrow. I don’t want to make shit awkward. I’ll tell Ian it was my decision, don’t worry”. Last thing he wants is to cause some fight between his boyfriend and his older sister over whether he was welcome to stay or not.

Fiona hesitates, surprising him by not simply nodding her head in thanks.

“I was going to give you another option actually. I’ve been thinking… and I know it’s probably a long shot, but if you were willing to get a part time job, a legal one, like Ian does and pitch in your fair share, I wouldn’t mind you staying. Until Lip comes back in the summer anyways, then we’ll need that bed again…and the extra space”.

Mickey shares Ian’s bed most of the time now anyways, but he gets that’s not the point. Part time job… He nods slowly after a few moments of consideration, “I…could do that”.

He hates the thought of working at some greasy spoon as a dish bitch or at some pizza place making deliveries, but it’s at least better than the alternative. Not only would Ian be happier with this situation, but it keeps him from going back home to live with Terry too, a prick he could definitely live without seeing everyday.

Fiona sighs in relief at his reluctant agreement, “Oh thank God. Honestly, we could use the help. I’m drowning in bills right now, and I really wasn’t looking forward to having Ian hate me for kicking you to the curb. I actually picked up a bunch of applications for you today, just in case you took me up on my offer”.

She slides over a small stack of papers to Mickey, and he raises his eyebrows as he looks over them. Sometimes, he really can’t believe how much his life has fucking changed in the past year.

“Alright, I’ll uh, apply tomorrow after school” he says, wondering what exactly he should tell the hiring managers his skills were. Handling a gun well? Collecting past due drug fees? Taking it up the ass like a pro?

He snorts at the last thought, Fiona looking at him in amusement as she wonders what the missed joke was, but before he has a chance to shake his head and say it was nothing, Ian comes in the front door, loudly singing some show tune as he throws his backpack to the ground and shimmies out of his fall jacket.

He comes into the kitchen and halts at the sight of them, Fiona looking serious with her bills and Mickey sitting across from her, and immediately looks ready to spring for an argument in his boyfriend’s defense.

“ _Really_ Fiona? The _day_ he fucking gets his cast off? I can’t believe y-“

Mickey interrupts him loudly, using his hands to shush him, “Calm your freckled ass Gallagher. You’re not getting rid of me just yet. She said if I get an after-school job and help out with the bills, like a normal fuckin teenager, I can stay for a while longer”.

His boyfriend’s expressions shift from annoyance, to surprise, and then delight in a matter of seconds. “Oh” he says sheepishly, blushing a bit as he addresses his sister, “Sorry I was being a dick. I just thought-“

“It’s fine Ian” she says, rolling her eyes in amusement, “Seriously. It’s like you think I _enjoy_ splitting you two up. You two are like magnets, it’s a tough fucking job”.

Ian grins as Mickey turns to him imploringly, “You gonna help me make a resume or not Gallagher?” he asks, raising his brow questioningly. 

Time to enter the fucking real world, like it or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Iggy did come around after a few days of thinking things over :) The Milkovich way of patching things up


	75. Can I Take Your Order?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey struggles to keep his attitude in check while he's at his new McDonald's job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, Mickey's opinions of his work establishment/customers do not reflect my own :P Clearly, settling into a legal and normal work environment is not second nature for him lol

“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?” Mickey mutters without looking up from the cash register, still counting the last customer’s change.

Nickel. Dime. Nickel.

 _Can I_. Like it’s some fucking gift to him to take some fatass’s order. And who the fuck pays ten dollars all in loose change anyways? The customer doesn’t say anything in response to his forced greeting, so Mickey looks up in annoyance.

“ _Fuck_ ” he mumbles underneath his breath, reddening slightly as he sees who it is. The grinning ginger in front of him isn’t fazed by his unenthusiastic reaction. “I’ll take some of you… _Mickey_ ” Ian whispers suggestively, leaning in towards the register as he pointedly reads Mickey’s name tag.

“Will you fuck off? Tryna work here” Mickey retors, raising his eyebrow at him. He still can’t believe he agreed to do this shit.

With his lack of professional experience, fast food was pretty much Mickey’s only option for a part-time after school job, and he had figured at least he could eat as much McDonald’s as he wanted to while he was working here. But he hadn’t factored in how fucking annoying hungry customers could be, or how much he hated taking orders, or how his stomach could only take so many greasy burgers in a week.

Yet, here he was… equipped with a McDonald’s visor, a plastic name tag, a uniform crew shirt, and hating his life. Just like any other normal teenager.

“C’mon, don’t be like that. I brought you dinner. Can you take a break?” Ian asks, peering behind Mickey to see if any of his coworkers will object. “Sure” Mickey answers, not giving a shit if they will or not.

 The store is pretty dead, he might as well take his dinner break now. He’d at least managed to argue his way into getting extra smoke breaks during his shifts, and frankly he was already due for another one of those too.

“Taking a fucking break Amanda” he yells back, his manager sending him a grunt in response. Mickey rolls his eyes and comes out from behind the counter, snatching the plastic bag Ian is holding out grumpily. The two of them head outside together and Mickey lights a cigarette as he digs through the bag, pulling out some still warm leftovers that his boyfriend had carefully packed for him.  

His mood improves a little as he eats, and Ian finally tries to talking to him again. “Is it really that bad?” he asks softly.  “Yes” Mickey answers, blowing out smoke from his lips.

Luckily, because he was “ _lacking a degree of professionalism in customer service_ ” he was usually put on grill, and that wasn’t so bad. But at the end of the night when it was quiet like this, he usually had to take over on cash or drive through, and that was torture.  

He was surprised he’d even gotten through training last week, but then again, the South Side McDonald’s closest to their neighborhood had pretty low standards, and most of the customers didn’t seem to too taken aback by his tattoos, or his ‘piss-poor’ attitude (which he _had_ tried to reel in).

“Well, this is what normal teenagers do Mick. We work shitty jobs for people we don’t like. Of course, a lot of adults end up doing that too” Ian says reasonably, causing Mickey to frown. He’d be damned if he spent a lifetime working in fast food.

Might as well marry a woman if he was going to settle that much.

Okay, maybe that was a little drastic. Mickey looks over at the handsome redhead and realizes how hard Ian is subtly trying to cheer him up, and he forces a smile.

“Yeah. It’s worth it I guess, I get to live with you” he says casually, but the look on Ian’s face tells him it was exactly the right thing to say.

“I love you. I’ll see you after work” Ian responds with a smile, an private and ungiven kiss on his lips as he walks away to catch the bus arriving by the sidewalk.

Mickey leans back against the brick wall to watch him leave as he finishes his cigarette, shaking his head in disbelief.

If it means getting to be with that boy, no matter what he has to do, it’s probably fucking worth it.

* **Ian’s POV** *

“I made brownies, do you guys want some?” Debbie asks jovially, poking her head into the boy’s bedroom. Ian and Mickey look up from where they are sprawled on the floor, pouring over their messy handwritten notes and textbooks.

They have been feverishly preparing for a Chemistry test that has both of them sweating in between reviewing questions and answers at the back of the book. “Fuck, yes” Mickey says, immediately reaching for the plate she is offering out.

Debbie watches with a smile as he piles two brownies onto his hand, jamming the third in his mouth and letting out an appreciative groan. He gives her a thumbs up as he chews and nods, and Ian takes a couple brownies for himself, laughing a little bit at his boyfriend’s insane sweet tooth.

After Debbie leaves, and Mickey starts in on his second brownie happily, Ian looks over and him and says with contrived sadness, “You never moan like that for me”.

His teasing is really just a way to test if Mickey’s maybe up for messing around right now, and of course, he’s not disappointed.

“Bullshit” Mickey retorts through a mouthful of chocolate brownie, “But if you wanna test that theory I’m down, Gallagher”. He swallows hard and licks his lip as he looks up at Ian, a different kind of hunger in his eyes now.

Ian crawls over their textbooks slowly, reaching out for Mickey’s face as he goes in to kiss him. Pressing his hand against Mickey’s slightly stubbly jaw, the baked sweetness on their lips passes between them as they kiss more deeply, Ian reaching down at the same time to rub Mickey gently through his borrowed sweats.

He can hear the chemistry notes crumpling beneath his knees as he shifts to pull Mickey’s grey pants down for better access, but neither of them give a fuck at this point, both of them are eager for a welcome distraction from their stressful review.

Ian looks up into Mickey’s blue eyes as he strokes him firmly, watching his pupils dilate and darken as he gazes back.

His perfect eyes then close in satisfaction as Ian finally puts him inside his mouth, letting him hang like a heavy weight over his tongue before he slowly takes him deeper into his throat, still using his thumb and forefinger to stroke whatever he can’t fit in.

“Ian” Mickey sighs, lowering a hand to stroke the back of his head affectionately.

Ian’s eyes flutter closed at the warm touch, taking it like praise. He pulls away to lick just the head of Mickey’s cock, pressing the tip of his tongue more firmly against the slit experimentally.

“Do you like that?” he asks heavily, watching as Mickey nods breathlessly. His pale cheeks are flooded with a lovely blush, the heat rising in his face as his entire body reacts to Ian’s touch. Mickey’s pink lips are parted just slightly as he breathes out unsteadily, and they look so fucking perfect it takes everything Ian has not to pull away from his cock and go for them instead.

But he can tell Mickey is getting close, so he takes him deeper again, and tries out a move he watched in a porno a couple weeks ago, humming a bit to create a vibration in his throat.

Mickey jerks slightly, his reactive tensing and quiet grunts familiar signs he’s about to cum.

When he does, he groans more loudly than he probably should have, and Ian reaches a hand up to cover Mickey’s mouth as he finishes spurting down his throat and sinks down in relief.

Wordlessly, Mickey soon motions with his hand for Ian to pull down his own pants, and he does, already leaking from being so turned on by sucking off Mickey. He reaches out to grab Mickey underneath his chin and guide him over to his erection, and Mickey responds with as much aggressive eagerness as he is showing.

Ian is already close though, and he shakes his head, pulling back a bit.

He doesn’t need a slow work up, he just wants to come now, so he asks breathlessly, “Can I fuck your mouth?” There’s a flash in Mickey’s blue eyes, maybe annoyance at being interrupted…but he agrees anyways, opening his mouth and lowering himself so Ian can kneel in front of him.

Mickey grabs Ian’s ass cheeks for leverage as he thrusts in and out of him, who’s biting his bottom lip to keep his mouth shut as he revels in his boyfriend’s perfect mouth.

He hears Mickey choke a bit as he picks up speed, but he’s so fucking close… _just another_ … one more hard hit and he’s a fucking goner, emptying his load with a groan even louder than Mickey’s.

Mickey pulls away from his cock once he’s finished, trying to catch his breath after the workout to his face. “Damn Gallagher” he pants, looking around himself for a smoke.

Ian pulls out a packet from his jeans and hands it to him, “Sorry bout that” he says sheepishly, “Just was so damn close”. “It’s cool Ian” Mickey says, grinning as he cups his hand around the cigarette he selects out of habit, “Love it when you get controlling in the sack. It’s hot as fuck man”.

“True” Ian agrees, looking back down at the papers now spread in a mess in front of them. The distraction was nice, but this test still wasn’t going anywhere.

“So…covalent bonds…what the fuck do we know about them?”

* **Mickey’s POV** *

“Mickey, drive through”.

Mickey pretends he doesn’t hear his manager’s request and keeps restocking the cups behind the counter, but she comes up behind him and jabs a fat finger into his neck, “ _I said_ , drive through”.

“Yeah, yeah” he mutters, grabbing his stupid headset and heading over to the drive through station. He kicks the leftover box of stacked cups as he goes. Amanda has a habit of getting him to the do this shit he hates the most, and it pisses him off royally. Not to mention he’s already in a foul mood.

“Yeah?” he says impatiently into the headset as soon as he switches it on.

“Um, hello? Can I make an order?”

The person on the other end of the line sounds so hesitant and stupid that Mickey rolls his eyes. “Considering you’re parked in front of a McDonald’s ordering screen, I’d take a wild stab in the dark and guess yeah”.

The customer seems a little surprised by his rudeness, but gains back their enthusiasm as they list their lengthy order. “Oh. Okay. Then can I have a Big Mac, kid’s Happy Meal, two orders of Large Fries…no wait, two order of _extra_ large fries. Yeah. And…a Rolo McFlurry. And a Diet Coke!”

There’s silence for a moment, and then Mickey snaps, “Is that everything or do you want to order the rest of the menu too?” He _has_ been doing his fucking best to ‘improve his attitude’ at work, but he has a sinking feeling the Chemistry test he wrote today didn’t go so well, and he’s especially stressed out tonight.

He doesn’t catch on that he’s pushing it right away.

“That’s everything” is the meek response he gets.

“Great”.

Mickey sends the order through to his co-worker David, who delivers everything to his station as he waits for the car to pull up to the pick-up window. Of course, it’s a minivan, and the driver looks to be at least a couple hundred pounds. Not all of their customers were porkers, not by a long shot, but it’s a little fucking hard to take the ones that are too seriously.

Mickey hands everything through the small pick up window, and as he’s counting their cash to make change, the customer takes a sip of their drink.

“Um, is this Diet? I asked for Diet”. His tone is accusing.

Mickey looks up from the bills and change in his hands, and without thinking, snorts and answers, “I don’t think it will make much a fuckin difference in your case, do you?”

He sees the customer redden and suddenly realizes what he said, rambling a hasty apology as his manager’s attention is flagged from a few feet away, “Oh fuck. Shit. I didn’t mean that. I meant like, the flavor is pretty much the same so-“

“MILKOVICH!”

* **Ian’s POV** *

Mickey doesn’t come back to the Gallagher’s house like he normally would after his shift at McDonald’s, so after an hour or so Ian finally sends him a questioning text, wondering if he made other plans for after work without telling him.

“ **U coming home?** ”

He waits for a minute or two for a brief answer. “ **Yeah. Soon I guess** ”.

The text seems dull and lifeless for Mickey, so Ian types back, “ **What’s up**?”

“ **Dugout** ”. Mickey’s one-word answer has Ian putting on a coat and reaching for his scarf.

He gets the sense even over text that something’s probably wrong, so he walks through the chilly night to where he knows Mickey is probably pissily mulling over whatever’s bothering him.

He sees a lone figure leaning against the chain link fence inside the dugout smoking a cigarette, and from the height and stance he can definitely tell it’s Mickey. Ian scales the fence easily and drops to the hard ground, shivering a bit.

The November weather was definitely getting cooler, especially at night, so he’s a little annoyed to see Mickey’s not wearing a hat, gloves, or anything warm, and he’s clearly been outside for a while.

Mickey looks up at him as he approaches, but doesn’t say anything, just takes another drag from his cigarette before he looks down again, letting smoke trail back upwards from his lips. Ian waits for a moment to see if he’ll say anything, and when he doesn’t, he just pulls him into a tight hug, surprising Mickey.

“Bad day?” Ian asks quietly.

“Uh…you could say that. I…” Mickey pulls away from the hug to rub the back of his neck aggressively, clearly stressed out. “I got fired. And I’m pretty sure I failed that fuckin test today”.

There’s a quiet pause between them, where they are both probably thinking very different things.

It takes Ian a minute to understand his boyfriend’s disappointment, because Mickey wasn’t the type before to really give a shit about these things. He took what life threw him, said it was what it fucking was, and moved on.

But it’s because of _him_ , Ian suddenly realizes, that Mickey’s disappointed in himself. He’d been trying so hard because of _him_. “I don’t think I did great on that test either” he admits, and then adds a little more encouragingly, “And that’s okay Mick. You hated that job anyways”.

Mickey glances up at him uncertainly, “They fucking fired me Ian. I lasted what, two and a half weeks? What am I gonna tell Fiona? We had a fuckin deal”.

Ian shakes his head, “We won’t tell her anything. I’ll help you find something else tomorrow, and we’ll just tell her that you changed your mind about where to work when you get something new. It’s fine, honestly. You probably still have enough to pitch in for the month anyways”.

His boyfriend sniffs, tipping his head a bit as he relaxes. “Was worried you’d be pissed. I did fucking try Ian, I just-“

“I know you did” Ian reassures, cutting him off, “I probably wouldn’t last more than a couple weeks there either. Your manager seemed like a total bitch”.

Mickey doesn’t say anything, and Ian steps closer to him, holding his arms and pressing his forehead up against Mickey’s, intent on keeping him warm. He tilts his head to the side and kisses Mickey slowly, who at first numbly kisses back, but then reaches back up to hold Ian closer, deepening the embrace.

“I love you so much” he whispers, taking his lips away from Ian’s only long enough to utter those words before he comes right back.

Ian does the same, barely finishing his hushed and meaningful sentence before he’s back on Mickey’s lips, “ _I love you too_ ”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted an 'Ian being the perfect boyfriend after Mickey had a shitty day' scene so I decided to end with that :) back to studying now ;(


	76. Right Place, Right Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finds a new job, the boys tentatively talk about their future together.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

The only good thing about Mickey’s frustratingly fruitless job search in the South Side Mall, was Ian looking over at him appreciatively in his business casual wear.

He’d asked Ian how he looked after doing a turn around in his bedroom wearing his black button down and tie, paired with ironed jeans and semi casual brown dress shoes, but the look on Ian’s face had said it all.

“Like a respectable young adult” Ian had smirked, coming over to pull him closer by the hips. That had led to some more touching, which then led to a thirty-minute delay from the time they had planned to leave, _and_ Mickey had to regel and comb his hair afterwards.

Apparently a good turn out made him more relaxed and friendly though, so maybe it was worth leaving a little late before going to meet some potential employers.

But even dressed nicely, and even with an initially improved mood to make a good first impression, Mickey Milkovich was having no fucking luck finding another job.

Either he slipped up and let out a vulgar word while he was introducing himself, or “wasn’t experienced enough for the job”, or if he got through the interview and managed to reach the hand shaking stage, they’d take one look at the tattooed _FUCK U-UP_ on his fingers and unconvincingly promise they’d give him a call if something came up.

“This is fucking pointless” Mickey finally grouses, tossing his resumes in the garbage can they pass by in the mall. At this point, two hours in, he’s tired, hungry, and annoyed. And ready to give up.

“Mick, what the fuck did you do that for?” Ian complains, looking back like he’s considering digging them back out.

“Ian get real, do you actually think any of these douchebags are gonna hire me? Seriously”.

To be honest, Mickey’s getting a little fucking tired of giving people a chance to even judge whether he’s worth the chance or not to hire. He’s suddenly feeling much more sympathetic towards the poor fuckers on America’s Got Talent, the tv show Debbie insists on dropping everything to watch whenever it airs.

“Well…” even Ian looks a little doubtful, and in his head Mickey is suddenly picturing moving back in with his Dad. Dammit.

Maybe that’s why when the tiny old lady walking past them gets her purse snatched by some greasy teenager, he sees reacts instantly and angrily.

Without thinking, he breaks into a run and tackles the scumbag thief in less than thirty seconds, body slamming him to the ground and delivering a brutal punch that sends the purse flying from the kid’s hands and into the open floor while Mickey spits, “Fucking prick, you gonna steal from an old lady? I don’t fucking think so”.

He lets the guy up as soon as he sees two security guards running over towards him, and he raises his hands ready to protest in his defence, “Hey, I didn’t fuck do anything, this is the douchebag you-“

“That young man saved my purse” the old lady interrupts, beaming at him as she totters over towards it. Ian, who had watched the whole scene with wide eyes, quickly bends to pick it up for her, and she looks absolutely thrilled with the both of them.

One of the two guards grabs the thief to lead him back to the security office, who somewhat reminds Mickey somewhat of himself a couple years back. Scruffy and careless, when he didn’t have anyone, but then again, Mickey would never rob a fuckin old lady.

The other guard just looks at him, seeming surprised that he had assumed he would be booked too. “Actually I saw the whole thing on the cameras. I’m the head security guard for the mall, and that was a fantastic takedown kid. You looking for a job kid?”

He says it almost jokingly, a casual add-on as an afterthought, but both boys immediately look up.

“Actually, yes” Ian blurts out, before Mickey has a chance to say anything.

He looks even more surprised, “Oh. Well in that case…we could use an extra guard. Part time only unfortunately, but if you’d be interested….”

Mickey stares at the guy. He could get _paid_ to beat the crap out of douchebags? And the way Ian and the old lady are looking at him right now… well it feels kinda nice. Like he’s some fuckin hero. In one way in makes him want to roll his eyes, in another…

He nods, “Yeah. Actually that would be great, I’m still in school so part time isn’t a problem for me”.

“Fantastic, let me get your info…”

After exchanging contact information and a handshake, just like that, Mickey has a new job. The old lady is digging in her purse as the guard leaves to help deal with the thief, and she tries to hand him a twenty, but Mickey reddens and turns it down.

“Nah, it’s fine honestly. I’m good”.

“Please, take it. I wouldn’t have any of it if it wasn’t for you” she insists, still shaking it in front of him.

“Uh, okay” Mickey takes the bill and quickly shoves it in his pocket, not used to be on the thanking end of a situation like that. She thanks him some more before she finally takes off, still smiling and waving, and then Mickey turns to face his grinning boyfriend.

“Wow. Suddenly I feel like you should be the top tonight” Ian winks, biting his bottom lip as he swings an arm around Mickey’s shoulders.

“Fuck off” Mickey laughs, shaking his head. “I’m serious. Seeing you take that guy down…damn” Ian smiles, and Mickey sees him actually checking him out. He laughs again, “Alright, we can switch things up tonight if you want Gallagher”.

Ian takes his arm away with satisfaction as they continue walking through the mall, “Well. We did what we came to do. You’ve got a job Mr. Milkovich”.

Mickey nods, “Yeah. Better than fucking McDonald’s I guess. Anyways, let me use this and get you a fuckin coffee” he fishes the reward twenty out of his pocket, and Ian takes him up on his offer with a grin.

* **Ian’s POV** *

A couple weeks in and Mickey is thriving at his new job, much to Ian’s relief. His new boss is much more understanding of Mickey’s brash and sometimes overwhelming personality, and insists it’s what makes him perfect for the job.

And Mickey, well, it seems like it’s a good thing for him too. To be recognized for being good at something, and to be paid for it.

He makes above minimum wage too, and saves everything he doesn’t pool in towards bills or the squirrel fund in his bank account. He never specifically says if he’s saving for anything in particular, but Ian sometimes wonders.

That night, as he sits outside waiting for him to come home after his shift, Ian hears the now familiar and comforting roar of a motorcycle in the distance.

Mickey’s Enduro headlights soon flash at the end of the street, and he drives right over to the front of the Gallagher house, pausing and pulling off his helmet when he sees Ian sitting there on the porch, his own engraved helmet beside him.

“You waitin on me Gallagher?”

Ian stands up and walks towards his boyfriend, who in his opinion looks unbelievably sexy in a security guard’s uniform. He had started understanding Mickey’s obsession towards his ROTC outfit the moment he had watched Mickey getting ready for his first shift.

Ian rolls his helmet in his hands, the visor fully fixed with the surface of the helmet buffed to get rid of some of the worst scratches from the accident. The printed Gallagher on the jaw had survived with nothing but a small scratch running through the _h_.

“Was thinking we could go for a ride”.

Without comment, Mickey shifts upwards on his bike, making room for Ian behind him. He climbs on eagerly, plunking his helmet down over his head.

“Where to, sir?” Mickey asks, purposefully making his voice formal. He seems like he’s in a good mood.

“To the stars” Ian grins, flipping up his visor to answer.

“Alright Rose” Mickey smirks, shaking his head, “You’re fucking ridiculous Ian”.

“C’mon Jack, fucking move it or I won’t make room for you on the goddamn door” Ian teases, slapping his visor closed again. He hears Mickey laugh as he restarts his motorcycle, and Ian wraps his arms around Mickey’s warm middle tightly as they drive through the night.

He’d missed this so much since the accident, because even once Mickey’s cast was off and even once the bike was fixed, Mickey had been reluctant to take him anywhere on it again.

It had led to more than one argument, after Mickey would refuse to let Ian on the motorcycle with him, and then after some heated words he’d go back to sleeping in Lip’s old bed instead of with him, but in the end Ian had managed to convince him to ride again with the argument that he couldn’t live life in fear of what _could_ happen.

Mickey had called him the fuckin Dalai Lama and finally given him his helmet back.

Ian hadn’t given Mickey a specific place to go tonight, but Mickey seems to have a destination in mind, because he drives on without pausing for at least a half hour before Ian starts to recognize the Chicago bluffs.

He smiles when Mickey finally stops near the edge of a remote cliff overhanging Lake Michigan, a private and quiet area with a fantastic view of the night.

“Why here?” he asks, climbing off the bike as Mickey drops the stand.

“You said take you to the stars man” Mickey grunts, clearly embarrassed now that Ian had missed his romantic gesture.

Ian looks up at the sky, and it’s the clearest view he can imagine away from the heavy lights of the denser area of Chicago where they live.

“It’s perfect” he breathes, noticing how Mickey visibly relaxes once he does.

“Yeah” his boyfriend agrees.

But as Ian looks up at the stars, Mickey’s looking at him.

Ian bites his lip, “Remember when we ran away together?”

Mickey nods, “Wouldn’t exactly call it running away, but sure… Ephraim”. He looks out over the lake, clearly running through the memories fondly in his mind as Ian does the same.

The only thing Ian would change about it all was the way that trip had ended, because everything else about it was incredible. So much time together, a journey with just the two of them. He shivers slightly in the cold air after a few minutes, and Mickey immediately turns back towards him, like he had sensed he was getting cold.

“Wanna head home?”

Ian shakes his head, “Not yet. Let’s just…sit here for a while”. Mickey nods and joins him on the chilly ground, the two of them huddling closer to each other to keep warm.

Mickey is absentmindedly pulling on some blades of grass after a while, or at least Ian thinks he is, but when he finally speaks, it’s clear he’s actually been thinking deeply the entire time they sat in silence.

“You know Ian, when I said I’d go anywhere with you, I didn’t just mean places”.

Ian looks over at him, tilting his head a bit in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Mickey lets out a deep breath, “I mean like, I’d go anywhere with you in life. Whatever you wanted to do, I’d be there”.

Ian hadn’t been expecting that, and he leans in closer, lifting Mickey’s head towards his to give him a kiss. After a long drawn out kiss, he murmurs, “Thinking about next year?”

Mickey nods.

It wasn’t new. The future had been on both of their minds a lot lately, more so with each passing month as in Grade 12 they were constantly being reminded that it was just around the corner. Where to go, what to do, was the question on everybody’s mind.

But Ian didn’t know what the answer was, to where or what.

Not in the way that Iggy had doubted him, because whatever lay ahead of him, he knew he wanted Mickey there. But painting a picture of the life he wanted in the future was hard to do, because that _was_ the only thing that was entirely clear to him.

“Seems like I was just a stupid kid when I met you” Mickey muses, interrupting his thoughts. “Or last year at least. Wasn’t thinking about any of this impending future shit”.

“Neither was I” Ian admits, “Not seriously anyways”.

But later that night, as they drive back home together, it’s all Ian is thinking about.

How he _could_ have Mickey in his future, if they could make it on their own. Not needing Terry or anyone else for anything, dependant on only each other.

Iggy didn’t have to be right about their future, no one did. No one except for them.

As they pull onto the street where the Gallagher house stands, Mickey subconsciously nods his head, and Ian feels like he’s silently agreeing with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing some travelling over the next two weeks (ish) so I won't be posting as often during that period. But I will when I can :) 
> 
> Also can I just say I love writing about these two growing up together and getting their shit together <3 makes me happy to have them planning their lives together.


	77. Career Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey solidify their career choices at career day at their school.

* **Ian’s POV** *

“Wanna come in with me?” Ian asks his boyfriend before he heads into the school gym, where tons of school and career information tables are set up for the day to encourage the grade 12’s to choose a path before the semester ends.

It’s December now, with Christmas just around the corner, and holidays too, but before Ian can relax he feels like he needs to make a decision. Something to work towards.

Mickey just gives him an unimpressed look that makes him laugh.

“Nah man, I’ll catch you later though”.

He nods and watches Mickey head back outside, probably to have a smoke or look for someone to pick a fight with. That was what he typically did when he was bored, although most of his aggression was now being channelled pretty successfully into his job as a security guard.

Ian wanders into the high school gym on his own where a ton of his classmates are already milling around, talking to enthusiastic school and job representativeness to try and make a fucking decision about what do for a career.

Like it was that simple. This was the rest of their life, well, it was _supposed_ to be. And they were at seventeen, eighteen, expected to know what exactly that should be?

He pauses briefly at a table with information on becoming an elementary school teacher, but it doesn’t really feel quite right to him. Ian likes kids well enough, is good at his ROTC job with them, but would he really want to do that every single day, telling them what to do…? And _Mr. Gallagher,_ meh, it just doesn’t sound right.

He moves right past a culinary table too, loudly claiming that he can’t cook for shit as they try to coax him over, using samples to try and tempt the students to give their program a glance.

Ian continues to mull over potential careers as he passes by them in the gym, sighing with boredom until his green eyes finally flash over something that catches their interest.

It’s an EMT explaining the resuscitating practice to one of his classmates at the emergency medical services table in great detail. It caught his eye because that was the exact sight he woke up to after his and Mickey’s accident, and the doctor’s words about Mickey echo in his mind, “ _If the EMT’s hadn’t of gotten there so fast, we wouldn’t be here having this conversation_ ”.

Ian walks over and the EMT nods at him as his classmate leaves, “Hey there, how’s it going today?” Ian shrugs, peering around him at the display. “Okay I guess…so, EMT?”

“Yeah, emergency medical technician, we also have information on paramedics here. Would you be maybe be interested in learning a little bit more about the job?”

Is he? He thinks again about Mickey, how one of these people had probably been the reason he survived the accident.

“Yeah I’m interested. Didn’t realize they were two separate things” he says, nodding his head as he becomes more sure of himself.

“Excellent. And same field, but different levels of training. Paramedics have more abilities, they are allowed to administer oral medication, read electrocardiograms, and use more complex equipment”. The man starts gathering some sheets and flyers for Ian, filling his head at the same time with a more detailed job description and personal stories about how rewarding he found the job, even if it wasn’t the highest paying medical career.

Ian tells him about his ROTC history, how he had wanted something he could do closer to home, a steady and permanent job, and how he is doing in school and the EMT nods encouragingly. He’s feeling more and more confident about this option.

“You’d be a great candidate. Physical fitness is important too, even though people may not realize it. Being able to respond quickly and calmly is essential to the job. You know, Malcolm X College has a great program too, right here in Chicago”.

“Oh…okay” Ian answers slowly. _Calmly_ …

He thinks back to his history of panic attacks, and feels a dull sense of disappointment blooming in his gut. He’s not sure how that would look to an employer, if he suddenly got anxious on the job.

Ian ends up thanking the EMT for his time and leaving without the papers, which leaves the other man looking surprised, but he just isn’t feeling so confident anymore.

* **Mickey’s POV** *  

Mickey stands outside in the cold, listening to his phone dial through the line. Finally, there’s an answering voice on the other end, “Hey kid, how’s it going?”

Mickey lets out a breath of foggy air, “Hey Rob, it’s good. I know it’s been a fuckin while, but I wanted to ask you something”.

“Shoot”.

He clears his throat a bit before he speaks again, “Don’t make fucking fun of me or anything, but I got a job as a security guard a few weeks ago, and it turns out I’m pretty good at it”.

Rob sounds confused, “Why would I make fun of you for that? That’s fantastic, I’m proud of you”.

Mickey’s cheeks flush at the unexpected praise, and he kicks a bit at small pile of crusted snow and ice at his feet as some students pass him. “Yeah, it’s good. But I’ve been thinking, you know, and next year Ian’s going to go away to school… I don’t want to just sit around working in a mall my whole life either. Remember what you said about me being a fucking cop or whatever?”

“Yeah?” Rob’s deep voice sounds echoed over the phone. 

Mickey suddenly feels embarrassed, like maybe this whole idea was just fucking stupid. But he thinks of Ian again and the freedom he wants for them down the road… and he forces himself to get the words out, “Did you mean it?”

More surprise, “Mickey…of course I did. Why, are you actually considering it now?”

“Kinda, I guess. I’m good at security, and it’s pretty much like security with a gun ain’t it? There’s a career fair thing at school today, but I wanted to get some advice before I go in and make an ass of myself”.

“Not exactly that simple Mick” Rob laughs, “But I still stand by what I said, I think you’d be good at it. However, we’ve talked about your record before. Definitely go in and get some information from there, see what’s available in Chicago, but I think your best chance for them to seriously consider accepting your application is if you take Police Foundations first”.

Mickey thinks for a moment, “That more school?”

“Yeah, it’s like two years of part time college. But your chances are a lot better at getting in if you do it. And when you do finally apply, maybe I’ll get my chief to give them a call about you…give you a good reference”.

“Shit…thanks Rob”.

“No problem. Listen, I gotta get back to work, but let me know how it goes okay? Proud of you”. He says it _again_ and Mickey clears his throat before he gives his gruff goodbye, “Yeah, yeah. Talk later”.

Before Ian, and before Rob, Mickey can’t remember anyone ever saying they were _proud_ of him. He’s not sure how to feel about it, but it makes him feel sort of good and sort of uncomfortable at the same time he guesses.

He _is_ sure that he’s not ready to share this idea with Ian yet though. He doesn’t want to get his hopes all up or any of that shit if he can’t even get in. He glances back inside the school, where he’d been keeping a close eye out for a particular redhead exiting the gym.

Jesus, how long was the kid going to take?

Mickey continues to stand outside and eventually hits his third smoke before he can see Ian finally leaving the gym from his place by the window.

He doesn’t look thrilled.

Mickey is torn between going after him instead of heading into the gym…but he always can talk to Ian later. This is his one chance to wander in there while he still has the balls to do it and look around. He tries to walk inside the gym like he doesn’t give a shit about anything that’s going on in there, but his classmates surprised looks at seeing him there make him scowl. They all thought he was just some fucking loser too eh?

He almost turns right back around and leaves, but he thinks again of Ian and strengthens his resolve to just fucking do this.

Swearing under his breath, he grabs flyers from random tables without stopping to let anyone actually talk to him at first, thinking he can shove them in his backpack casually so it doesn’t look like he’s only thinking about doing one thing. But then he sees it.

**_Chicago Police Department Training Academy_ **

Mickey thinks of what Rob had said to him about being a cop. For some fucking reason, he thought Mickey would be good at it. Like it even. Initially he had thought it was a stupid idea himself, but maybe it wasn’t…

He was already tough, more than familiar with firearms, and he knew the streets and the way people on them thought. He had a juvenile record, yeah, but Rob had told him that didn’t necessarily mean he wouldn’t get in.

There were a lot of factors in play, and if Rob was willing to vouch for him, well that probably wouldn’t fucking hurt either.

Mickey takes the flyer and sniffs disinterestedly as the cop looks at him, “Interested in law enforcement?” “What’s it to you?” Mickey responds, without thinking. He reddens slightly as the cop’s facial expression turns to surprise, “Um, well it’s my table you’re at looking at”.

“Right. Sorry. Just…I don’t know. Thinking about it I guess”.

He can tell by the way the guy is looking at him that he thinks Mickey looks more like someone he’d arrest than someone he’d have sitting beside him in his police car.

Fuck it.

Mickey crumples the flyer into his hand and walks away, but unfortunately for him, he walks right into Ian.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Ian had decided to come back and get his EMT/Paramedic flyers anyways, because if he came home with nothing he knew Fiona would give him shit for not trying. This way he could at least show her he _had_ gone and thought about it.

He hadn’t been expecting to run face first into Mickey though, whose eyes widen in surprise and then embarrassment at the sight of him.

“What are you doing here?” Ian asks, utterly surprised to see him in the middle of their gym during career day. Mickey had never expressed an interest in…well, in doing anything as a career.

“Nothing” Mickey quickly answers, trying to shove something into his back pocket.

“What’s that?”

“Fucking nothing, I just said that” Mickey answers defensively.

Ian stares at him for a second, and then shrugs as if he doesn’t care. “Okay. I gotta grab some papers I forgot here earlier, come with me?”

Mickey shrugs and follows him over to the Emergency Response table, raising his eyebrows as Ian grabs the stack of papers he’d left there earlier. He walks casually out of the gym and then outside, Mickey still radiating an air of stubbornness as he follows him, but as soon as Ian offers him a cigarette outside he relaxes and takes it, his guard back down.

“So, EMT huh?” he asks, cupping his hands to light it. It’s chilly out, and both boys can see their breath. It’s the perfect opportunity.

“Uh-huh, well… _paramedic_ …” Ian answers, suddenly lunging for his boyfriend’s jeans while Mickey is distracted. He manages to grab the paper from his pocket he had seen him trying to hide and immediately turns with it protectively as Mickey swears and protests, trying to reach around his middle to get it back.

“Fucking give it Gallagher!”

“No! I just want to see-“

Ian uncrumples the paper and stares at it, his ginger eyebrows lifting in disbelief. Chicago Police Enforcement?

Mickey had grabbed a booklet with information on becoming… a cop?

He turns to look at his boyfriend in confusion, who looks red and angry. “It’s fucking stupid. Throw it out for me will you?” Mickey spits, turning to stalk away from him. Ian grabs his arm, halting his exit from the conversation. He was surprised to see the flyer, but not in a bad way.

“Why is it fucking stupid?” he asks, calmly.

Mickey halts at his tone, his eyebrow twitching in agitation. “Because it’s me, Ian. It’s fucking me”. He looks so discouraged, so angry at himself, that Ian feels himself getting defensive right away.

“So? _You_ are great Mick. You’re loyal and protective as hell, you know the system. And you’re good with a gun” he laughs, as Mickey starts to bite his lip.

“You don’t think it’s stupid?” he repeats, looking a little stunned.

“No” Ian answers, “I think it’s great. I’m just surprised you want to”. Mickey shrugs defensively, “I don’t know. Rob was on me about it when I was in Memphis…he was like me when he was a kid, but he’s a cop now. And then Fiona saying all shit about you being a loser if you didn’t get a real job-“

“That was directed at me” Ian cuts in.

“I know that”, Mickey continues in annoyance, “But I don’t want to be a fucking loser either Ian. You deserve better than that”.

“I don’t think you’re a loser. But I do agree that you should plan to have some sort of real job, for yourself too Mick. Not just for me”.

“Yeah yeah. Well I’m not saying I’ll get in or anything, but I’ll fucking think about it. And what about you, huh? Army is a no go now?” he looks a little hopeful at the end of his sentence, and Ian shrugs.

“I kinda like the Emergency Response idea. I don’t know though, they were saying shit about having to be calm on the job, and I mean…” he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “I mean, you know I’m not exactly the best at being calm. Yay anxiety disorders…” He tries to make a joke of it, but it makes him feel a little miserable again, thinking about how much it would influence his life.

Mickey shakes his head and grabs his shoulder firmly. “Ian. You can do this if you want to. I know you can, you’re already doing so much better than you were before”.

Ian still feels a little doubtful, until Mickey blurts something that makes him smile, because it has some truth to it, and because he means it.

“If I can be a fucking cop, then _you_ can be a fucking paramedic Gallagher”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you see a fan pic from on set where Ian/Trevor are having a moment >:( Fuck it's getting old. *Goes back to writing fanfiction furiously*
> 
> P.S Yes I still want Ian in healthcare :P


	78. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living together isn't exactly all fun and games, not at the Gallagher house anyways.

Mickey shuffles inside his security coat as he walks down the sidewalk towards home, well, the Gallagher home anyways. His temporary home. His fingers are cold and red from the icy weather, but he lights a cigarette anyways, puffing on it in hopes of relaxing after a brutally long shift at work.

Clambering through the snow on the un-shovelled sidewalk, Mickey frowns as he approaches the house and sees Debbie sitting outside on the porch with an unfamiliar teenaged boy.

He immediately takes his cigarette out of his mouth and points towards the kid, “Who’s this?”

Debbie blushes, her voice high pitched and girlish as she admits, “This is my boyfriend, Travis. He asked me to be his girlfriend today”.

“Boyfriend?” Mickey stares at the two of them in belief.

Debbie is like what, fucking ten years old? This kid is definitely older. He turns to Debbie slowly, “Hey Debs. I had a really long shift and I’m fuckin starving…would you mind making me something to eat real quick?”

“Nope. I’ll be back in a few minutes Travis”. She giggles excitedly as she runs up the stairs and inside, her cheeks red from both the cold and innocent happiness. So Mickey has about five minutes to figure out how to handle this before she comes back.

“So. Travis. How old are you?” he asks, staring at him intensely. The little shit smirks, immediately seeing what he’s getting at.

“Fourteen. She’s old enough, and what’s it to you anyways? Debbie told me you’re not her brother”.

Mickey raises his eyebrows, “I’m as good as. Fucking fourteen…listen kid…” Mickey leans in closer, cracking his knuckles firmly before he grabs the front of the kid’s jacket.

He knows this type, has chased them off from Mandy at least a hundred times. Creepy douches trying to take advantage of younger girls who just want a boyfriend, not knowing what it means.

He points one finger directly in the kids face, who goes almost cross eyed looking at it. “Hey…back off man” the kid says nervously, his eyes darting back up towards the house in hopes of Debbie making a sudden reappearance.

“No, you fucking listen to me right here. If I see you around here again, or if I hear about those fingers going anywhere near that girl, Imma break every fucking knuckle in your hand. All fifteen of em” Mickey snarls, slapping the kid’s hand down as he raises it in protest.

The absolute second Mickey lets him go, he drops to his knees in the snow before scrambling to get up and run away. “Fucking psycho!” he yells behind himself, still running.

Mickey puts his cigarette back in his mouth and flips him off before turning back towards the house. He’s finished and butting it out by the time Debbie opens the front door again to call him in, holding a plate with a homemade sandwich on it.

She looks around in disappointment, “Where’s Travis?”

Mickey takes the door from her and goes inside, gesturing for her to follow him back in. She does with confusion, waiting for him to explain.

He clears his throat, “So, while I was out there finishing my smoke Travis told me that he thinks you’re an amazing girl, beautiful, but that he’s too old for you right now. And you know Debs, you don’t need a boyfriend right now anyways. You’re only ten kid, enjoy it while it lasts”.

Her cheeks flush at his compliment, and he’s glad he broke the news this way. They’d probably been dating like a fucking day, but he still didn’t want her feelings to get hurt. Debbie was a crier, and it made him uncomfortable when he couldn’t fix the situation, much like how he felt about his own sister Mandy when she was that age. 

“I’m growing up Mickey” she says sadly, “I want to have someone too, like Fiona does. Or like you and Ian”.

He nods, “You will someday. But you gotta let it find you, don’t go looking for it. Why do you think me and your brother are so happy together?”

It’s a reasonable enough explanation in his opinion, and finally she shakes her head in agreement, letting it go.

“Okay…want to help me make some cookies?”

* **Ian’s POV** *

Ian shuffles inside the house tiredly and stomps his combat boots roughly to get all the snow off them. He’d picked Liam up from daycare after work because Fiona was staying at her boyfriend’s house tonight, and it was already getting dark out.

After peeling off their winter wear, Ian picks Liam up again and passes where Carl is loafing on the couch watching Fast and Furious to head into the kitchen, where he sees Debbie lecturing a very serious looking Mickey about how important it is to make sure the cookies won’t stick to the pan when you bake them.

The kitchen is a mess of flour and other ingredients, and Mickey is washing his hands to get the remnants of greasy dough off of them.

“Hey man” he says when sees him, rubbing his clean but now wet hand over his eye.

It’s a cute sight, sure, his sister and his boyfriend baking together, but there’s still a mess. “Did you make dinner yet?” Ian asks, looking around himself. Whoever got home first was supposed to cook, and Ian’s shift extended an hour past Mickey’s, even though Mickey had started several hours earlier than he did.

“Uh, no. Not yet”.

Ian frowns, a little tired and now thinking about what to make, he hands Liam off to Mickey. “I’ll do it. You _have_ to make sure Carl has something, or he’ll just go off and eat sugar and shit when he gets hungry”. He notices a look of annoyance flash across Mickey’s face, but ignores it, because he’s tired too.

A frozen pizza just ends up getting tossed in the oven, and Mickey heads upstairs to eat while the kids all pile in front of the TV. Ian eats his own pizza over the sink for convenience, but when he’s done he brushes his hands off on his pants and heads upstairs to where he finds Mickey watching Netflix on his phone.

Mickey looks up but doesn’t say anything to him until Ian leans against the upper bunk and looks down at him, “Mind if I join?”

“No”, Mickey shuffles across the bed to make room for him and Ian lays down beside him with a sigh. “How was your day?” he finally asks, feeling a bit less grumpy now that he ate.

Mickey raises an eyebrow as he glances over at him, “Fine I guess. Had to chase off some kid from Debbie. Did you know she thought she had a boyfriend? Kid was fucking fourteen”.

Ian just laughs, “Yeah. It wasn’t anything serious though, they only met like last week”.

But Mickey looks annoyed at his response, “Well did you even fucking talk to him Ian? He was a creep. I have to come home after I work for ten hours and deal with that shit and you don’t even care?”

“Whoa” Ian says, taken aback by his hostile response. “Sorry. I guess I trusted her judgement. Debbie’s smart”.

“Yeah she’s smart but she’s also fucking innocent as hell Ian. Just like Mandy used to be”.

Mickey turns his attention back towards his show about car mods, and Ian is quiet for a moment, thinking. Mickey was obviously tired and agitated from working all day, and Ian couldn’t really blame him. He was tired sometimes even after just a four hour shift at ROTC, and his were never anywhere near as long as Mickey’s.

He leans up on his elbows to reach over and grip Mickey’s shoulders, slowing rubbing into them with his large hands. Mickey’s muscles are knotted and tense, and he stiffens before he relaxes a bit, finally melting under Ian’s touch.

He rolls over on his stomach to let Ian sit over him and massage him more deeply, neither of them talking as Ian brings his boyfriend some well deserved comfort. But feeling his body, and hearing his little moans, makes Ian hard after a while.

Ian bites his lip and tries to ignore it, but he finally hears Mickey laugh softly, probably feeling the poke.

“I uh, we don’t have to do anything. If you’re too tired. I can jerk off later” Ian offers. Mickey turns back to give him a look, “I’m pretty fucking tired Gallagher, but not too tired to have you get on me”.

Ian grins, leaning forward to give him a little kiss before he starts working to take Mickey’s pants off. Because he was still wearing his work pants, he carefully folds them and puts them on the floor instead of carelessly chucking them away like he normally would. He also puts the stay out sign on the bedroom door he’d drawn a couple weeks ago, to let Carl know he was no longer welcome to come in without fucking knocking first.

It worked maybe half the time.

By the time he turns back around towards Mickey on the bed, his boyfriend is laying back, stroking himself hard as he watches him. He’s biting his bottom lip, and he nods his dark head just slightly, “C’mere”.

Ian sinks onto the bed, crawling over him and closing his eyes as Mickey’s hands stretch up and run over his shoulders and back, feeling every smooth and warm muscle in his body. Ian kisses him gently while Mickey preps himself a bit, and when he’s ready, he moves a hand to guide Ian’s stiff cock to his hole.

Ian presses his head down beside Mickey’s face, pushing inside of him slowly and feeling Mickey tremble underneath him as he goes agonizingly slow. But he’s not in a rush, neither of them are, and he knows they are both low energy tonight, so he wants to make it sweet.

Rocking his hips slowly into his boyfriend, he feels Mickey’s exploring hand continue to roam down his sides and over his back as he lifts his legs a little bit to let Ian get deeper.

 It’s quiet and slow and comforting, both of their breaths getting more unsteady as they crawl towards their orgasms.

Mickey finally shoots upwards onto his chest while he strokes himself, letting out a satisfied rush of air as he does, and then he looks right up into Ian’s darkening eyes as he comes too, emptying and exhausting himself at the same time.

He slowly rolls to the side when he’s done, and Mickey reaches down to lift the blanket back up over them as they both begin to nod off, still dog-tired but now satisfied enough to rest.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

The new routine drags on day after day, and even though Ian’s been working hard too, Mickey finds himself getting more frustrated.

His life has completely become about working long security shifts, and then coming home and instead of being able to crash or even just relax like he’d like to, he’s always being asked to cook or clean, do fucking laundry, or babysit.

And he’s trying to be a good sport, but it’s getting to him.

Especially now that Lip is back too, and Fiona’s gone working more to pay for some gifts for the kids, and then out more with her boyfriend, the house is crowded and hectic. There’s a lot less privacy, and the _stay out_ sign no longer seems to be effective on the bedroom door, so he rarely even gets a chance to mess around with Ian, that is if they both even have the fucking energy to.

He’s sitting in the upstairs bathroom on the toilet, his pants around his ankles and his face in his hands tiredly when Ian bursts in without knocking.

“What the- can I take a shit in private please?” he snaps, moving to cover himself.

Ian looks incredulous, “I need to brush my teeth. And we share the bathroom all the time”. He turns to the sink and starts wetting his brush, and Mickey sighs, gritting his teeth.

When he stands up and flushes, Ian turns to watch him leave the bathroom, and through his toothpastey mouth comments, “You’re being such a dick lately. It’s Christmas Mickey, lighten up”.

He didn’t say it in an accusing way, but Mickey still turns around in annoyance, “Fuck off Ian”. He stalks out of the bathroom and down the stairs, where Ian soon follows him, grabbing his arm to turn him back around.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing” Mickey mumbles, but he’s still so agitated that Ian doesn’t buy it. “Just fucking tell me, why are you always mad at me lately?”

And with that, it all comes bubbling up. The 8-12 hour shifts he’d been working lately, the countless loads of laundry, the constant nights of running around trying to look after three kids that weren’t his, and everything else too.

“I’m not fucking mad at you! I’m just- this is too much for me Ian, Jesus”.

Ian looks confused, and then worried, “What do you mean _this_?”

Mickey sighs, “Not us, Ian. I mean, this, me living here. I’m working 24 fucking 7, and I don’t even get school as a break anymore. If I’m not at work I’m home looking after your siblings, or the dog, and I’m just fucking tired alright? I need my space, Jesus”.

Ian flinches just slightly, but Mickey can’t take it back. It’s all true, he’s overwhelmed and he doesn’t like being annoyed at Ian, but he can’t help it.

“I do a lot around here too Mickey, so that’s not really fair. And Mo is your dog. And what are you trying to say? You want to leave?”

Mickey slowly nods.

The thought had been crossing his mind more and more lately, when he’d been craving the solace of his usually quiet house, his empty room and his own bathroom, where he could shit or jerk off whenever he needed to in private.

“Mandy’s home for the holidays. Iggy will be around a lot too. I don’t know Ian, I just…need some space. And I should be with my family during the holidays too. Look, I’ll uh, I’ll call you later”.

He heads back up the stairs to pack some things into his backpack, and Ian appears to silently watch him in the doorway, clearly upset.

“I love you” Mickey reminds him as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. He’s tired, and he doesn’t feel like fighting, so when Ian just nods at him, he doesn’t try and push him to say it back. He knows they’ll make up later, one way or another.

Mickey passes the kids sprawled out on the couch without saying anything and whistles for Mo to follow him, and he sighs deeply once more before his starts up his Enduro and drives down the road, going slow enough for his dog to follow.

When he gets home, he pauses before unlocking and pushing open his front door, and he finds the house quiet. His dad is just sitting on the couch with a smoke and a newspaper, and he looks over at him in surprise, seeming to be in a good enough mood.

“Oh look, it’s the Prodigal fucking son returned. They finally kick your ass out?”

Mickey rubs the bridge of his nose casually, “It’s Christmas. You know, thought I should probably spend it here. With my family.”

His dad just shrugs before turning his attention back to his paper, and Mickey heads over to his room.

He hadn’t been here in months…not since that night after Ian’s birthday party, when he’d gotten a text almost as soon as he’d gotten home that Ian needed him. Everything looked exactly the same as he’d left it, and it’s comforting in some way.

Dropping his backpack to the floor with a thud beside his tail wagging dog, Mickey collapses onto his old bed and immediately falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *As Mickey pointed out, not a breakup. Literally just ‘growing pains’ in the relationship. Also security can be a brutal job, I dated a guard once for a while and it’s really hard on them, the hours.  
> Makeup will be in the next chapter :)


	79. MM + IG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey make up after Ian gets some perspective from Lip, Ian goes along with Mickey while he does some cathartic spraypainting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couples fight. It's normal :) Don't worry when they do, I already promised a happy ending <3

* **Ian’s POV** *

Ian storms around the house in a foul mood until his older brother gets home. One moment Mickey was living here, practically part of the family, and the next moment he wasn’t? What the fuck?

So he was tired. Who wasn’t around here! Didn’t mean he should just fucking take off.

He rounds on his heel towards his bedroom door the second he hears it open, thinking it’s Mickey come back to apologize, but instead of his boyfriend he sees Lip, who raises his eyebrows at him.

“Why do I feel like I walked in on a mini rage fest?”

Ian scowls and turns back around, glaring out his bedroom window at the blinding snow below. He’s not in the mood for any of Lip’s fucking jokes right now.

“Oh. One of those. Want to split this roach?”

Ian turns to see the partial joint his brother is holding out as a peace offering and nods his head, reaching for his lighter. Taking the edge off certainly wouldn’t hurt right now.

As he starts to smoke, he realizes he’s not so much mad, as just brutally disappointed. What Mickey said wasn’t unreasonable…he just didn’t want to fucking hear it.

Lip finally looks over at him, his eyes slightly red from his high as he tries again, “So you wanna tell me what’s got you all pissy?”

Ian shrugs dejectedly, mumbling his response. “Mickey left”.

“Whoa! Left you? Did not see that one coming” Lip seems genuinely shocked, but Ian scoffs at the stupid assumption, “No. He left here, went home. Moved out”.

That seems to make more sense to his brother, because Lip just nods his head, “For how long?”

“I don’t know. He said something about spending the holiday with his family. _After_ saying a lot of stuff about how he’s always working or doing housework here, and it’s too fucking much for him. He wants _his space_ apparently”.

He’s expecting his brother to scoff and agree with his sentiment of annoyance, and or at least offer him some sort of comforting remark in a display of brotherhood, but instead Lip nods his head knowingly. “Yeah, makes sense. Surprised he lasted as long as he did”.

Ian frowns, “What the fuck are you talking about, it makes sense? Why the fuck would he want to go back there when he could stay here with us?”

Lip holds up a hand as if to calm him, “Ian, think about it. He _is_ always working or doing shit here. Like, think about what he came from… an empty house where he had pretty much no responsibility, nobody to worry about but himself really, except maybe Mandy. I don’t think it’s that he wants to be there so much, but more that he just does need some space. It’s a lot to take in Ian, all us Gallaghers, the domestic home life. You guys aren’t fucking married you know”.

Ian’s guard lowers a bit as Lip’s reasoning strikes a chord of realization with him.

“Well…I guess it is a lot of big changes in a short amount of time” he admits slowly.

“Fuck yeah it is. He used to barely go to school, was always getting arrested. In a year and then in a few months he’s turned his academics around, given up the life he knew before, and gotten a legitimate job. And I hear he’s thinking about college now? He did all that shit for you Ian. You can’t tell me you didn’t notice him walking around here like a fucking zombie lately either, dude’s exhausted”.

Suddenly, Ian’s feeling very guilty. “I pushed him too much” he says miserably, thinking of how often he had passed a chore, or Liam onto his boyfriend without a second thought.

It was easy to rely on Mickey, easy to ask him do shit without realizing it was too much because he just did it, often without question or complaint. Things were hard on Ian too sometimes, but he wasn’t living with the same pressure that Mickey was.

Lip shrugs, “I think he wants to do those things in his life Ian, he just either didn’t realize it before you or didn’t have a reason to. The guy fucking loves you, all of us can see that. Was he angry at you when he left?”

Ian thinks back, and reddens at the memory of it. “Not really. He calmed down, said he loved me before he left but I uh, didn’t say it back. I was pissed. I should go apologize…”

His brother shakes his curly head, “Nah, give him his space for a bit. That’s literally all he asked for. Give it time Ian”.

* **Mickey’s POV** *

Mickey wakes up to a pillow soaked with drool beneath his face, and he grimaces as he pulls himself up from it, stiff from his overly long nap.

For the first time in months, no one had thrown something at him to wake him up, poked at him until he made dinner, screamed, or blasted a TV close by enough to wake him up.

He stretches as he gets up, and slowly wanders into the kitchen to get a beer. He can hear Mandy in her room, so he knocks at her door until she yells out, “Yeah?”

“Hey” he says, taking that as an invitation to push open her bedroom door. She doesn’t look surprised to see him, “Dad said you were back. Everything okay?” Mickey looks at his sister, “Yeah. Just needed a bit of a break I guess. Not from Ian, just from-“

“The work, house husband, and kids life?” she laughs.

Mickey scratches the back of his neck, “Uh, yeah. I mean, I’m fucking eighteen Mandy. I’m not ready for all that shit yet. The kids ain’t mine, you know? So fucking loud there too, all the damn time”.

She looks at him, her expression suddenly serious. “Maybe that life isn’t for you Mick, Ian… and a real family”.

“Fuck off. I didn’t say I don’t want it, I just don’t want it _right fucking now_. Too much too soon”.

“Some weed, and some pizza, and you’ll feel better. Want to play some COD?” she suggests.

Fuck that sounds good. Mickey checks the time on his phone, “Yeah, I got two hours before work. Let’s do it”.

He only smokes a little bit, but he eats a ton of fucking pizza and games with Mandy for a solid hour and a half before telling her he needs to get ready for work. Truthfully, he had missed hanging out with her without realizing it. He had missed a few things.

Before he heads out, he jerks off in the privacy of his bathroom to his favorite picture of Ian, and takes a dump in private. But it’s weird almost, because he’s so used to having Ian around him now, it feels like he’s missing a limb or some shit without him there, making some comment in the other room, or teasing him, or coming up to give him a kiss at the most inconvenient times.

Those poorly timed kisses had started to annoy him, but now…now he’s missing them.

It’s a quiet overnight shift at the mall, and as soon as he’s off patrol and sitting in the live feed room to monitor the cameras, he calls Ian.

The phone rings for a while before Ian answers, and his voice is quiet and soft.

“Hey”.

“Hey”.

There’s a moment of silence, before Mickey starts to talk first, “I’m sorry I took off. It wasn’t anything you did, I just-“

Ian interrupts, “No…you were right. Me and my family are a lot to deal with sometimes”.

Mickey’s mouth drops open a bit at the guilt in his boyfriend’s voice, and he shakes his head even though Ian can’t see him, “I love you Ian. I…love your family too. It was just too fucking much I guess, I’ve been so goddamn tired lately. I’m sorry”.

“Yeah, it was a lot. I’m not trying to push you to be something you don’t want to be Mick, or do things you don’t want to. I get that it’s a lot of change”.

Ian sounds so understanding, that Mickey almost feels a lump in his throat. “It’s just really fast you know? I’m not used to it…a house full of kids, working all the time…”

“Yeah, about that. Why are you working so much? Can’t you ask for less shifts?”

Mickey waivers before he decides to tell him the truth, “Actually, I was the one that um, asked for more hours”.

“Why??” Ian sounds genuinely surprised, and Mickey hesitates for a moment before he answers. “I’ve been saving up”.

“Yeah I noticed, that. Why though? What for?” His boyfriend’s curiosity is more than obvious, and Mickey can tell this is something he’d been wondering about for a while.

“Well, you know, fucking school and stuff next year. College ain’t free. And, maybe…an apartment for us or something”.

The silence on the other end of the phone makes Mickey silently swear to himself. Here Ian was, worried about pushing him too much, and _he_ fucking brings up getting a place together next year. Idiot.

“Really?” Ian breathes out. But instead of hesitant, or worried…he sounds happy.

“Yeah. Really” Mickey admits.

“Fuck. That would be…wow. Are you at work?”

He doesn’t miss the excitement in Ian’s voice. Mickey glances over at the schedule, “Yeah, here til 1a.m. Actually got a shorter shift tonight”.

“Could I maybe come over after? Spend some time with you at your place?”

Mickey lets out a contented sigh of relief, “That would be…fucking perfect man. See you then”.

A few hours in, and he’s already missing him. He really was fucked. That redhead had him hooked for life.

Later that night, after Mickey gets home from work, and before he even gets a chance to get changed, he hears a knock at the front door.

With his uniform shirt still unbuttoned, he hurries over to open the door and Ian’s standing there, tall and handsome, snowfall dusting the shoulders of his olive green coat. They look at each other for a moment, the cold winter air touching Mickey’s bare chest before Ian’s fingers do, but then the door is closing behind them and Ian is back in his strong arms, right where he belongs.

“Where’s your dad?” Ian whispers against Mickey’s lips as he kisses him even harder.

“Out” is all Mickey manages to say, he wants Ian so badly right now, more than anything, and to push away the distance that had started to creep between them lately.

He’s finally energized yet calm, the agitation that had been between them had formed into something else entirely.

“Didn’t even want to go one night without you” Mickey breathes into his mouth as they continue to back through the house together, Ian’s hands roaming over his smooth warm chest as they back into his bedroom.

And then Ian’s got him up against the closed bedroom door, kissing him so hard that it almost hurts, but in such a sensational way. His body is aching for it.

“You don’t have to” Ian promises in a husky voice, as Mickey works his sleeves down his arms to bare his chest. He runs his tattooed fingers down the familiar slopes of Ian’s chest and body, loving every single one of them.

It’s strange how much it feels like the beginning though, as they grip each other’s arms and move together towards his old bed. No fear…just an intense need to explore each other’s bodies again, reunite like they used to, with the same fire that still burned inside of them whenever they looked at each other.

“I want you to make me cum Ian, so bad. I jerked off to your picture earlier” he tells his boyfriend in his ear, hoarsely. He hears Ian shiver slightly in response, so easy to set off with dirty talk, and he fucking loves it.

But Ian surprises him by taking it one step further, “Let me ride you” he pants.

He’s leaning against Mickey now, pushing him back onto the bed in a sitting position as he hovers above him, kneeling between his legs and grabbing his jaw to kiss him hard.

Mickey shifts to hold Ian just above his thighs, supporting his weight as Ian tries to anchor himself comfortably in the perfect position. “Want me to finger you first?” Mickey asks, but Ian just shakes his head, reaching for the lube he knows Mickey keeps in his bedside drawer and splashing it down generously on Mickey’s stiff cock, that’s eagerly waiting for him to sit on it.

Mickey feels his blood rush through his neck and up to his face and cheeks as Ian lowers himself down onto him perfectly, so tight and hot, closing his eyes and opening his mouth in pleasure as he eases down slowly.

Mickey looks up at him like he’s a God, fuck… he might as well be. He’s goddamn perfect…everything about him…just perfect.

Reaching a hand up, Mickey strokes the side of Ian’s face until he takes Mickey inside of him fully, and begins to shift and up and down slightly, his breath already quickening.

Mickey reaches his arms around to grab Ian’s ass and help him move faster, bouncing up and down on his achingly hard cock, the two of their moans getting stronger and louder as they meet at the perfect pace for the both of them.

Every ounce of frustration from the past several weeks is fueling their intense make up session, the boys needing to spend no more than half a day apart to realize how much they would miss each other.

“Ride my cock Gallagher, fuck, ride it” Mickey grunts, gasping as Ian’s own cock beats down on his stomach, hard and leaking. He squeezes one of Ian’s cheeks in his palm, firm and muscular, and his other hand wraps around the small off his back.

“So good Mick, you’re so fucking hard” Ian groans back in ecstasy, bending back to hit a new angle and holding onto Mickey’s ankles for support. Mickey takes advantage of the new space between them and grabs Ian’s still bouncing cock in front of him, catching it in a firm grip and stroking its full length as Ian’s thighs start to shake with pleasure.

He yells out as he spurts come over Mickey’s fist, his entire body now sweaty and shaking, and Mickey lets go to wrap his arms around him firmly and flip him over to lay him down on his back, pumping into Ian hard and fast before he finishes too.

Ian’s green eyes glint with satisfaction as he urges him on, “C’mon Mickey, fuck me harder. Give me that perfect dick”.

Mickey bites his lip as a bead of hot sweat rolls down the side of his face and then he goes his hardest, Ian yelling out again with him as he comes in second with a shout that’s a mangled mixture of pleasured sounds and Ian’s name.

He rolls off of Ian a while later, kissing down his sweaty chest before he pulls away to sit on the edge of his bed. He grabs a dirty t-shirt to wipe himself off and then offers it to Ian, who takes it appreciatively.

It’s amazing how much better Mickey feels now, maybe all he needed was just some time alone with Ian, away from it all.

“Fuck that was good” he says, grabbing a smoke as he watches Ian lay back on his bed. He looks so good there… Mickey thinks that’s the best his red comforter has ever looked, with Ian naked on it.

But Ian is soon getting off the bed and pulling his clothes back on, and he tosses a shirt at Mickey too. “C’mon. I have an idea”.

Curious, but game for whatever Ian has up his sleeve, Mickey follows him out of his bedroom and into his living room, where he sees Mandy with a giant headset on, clearly trying to block out the sound. “Oh Jesus, thank God. I thought some mirrors were gonna break or something before you two were done”.

Mickey blushes and flips his sister off, but Ian just laughs, pulling on his coat and boots, “We’re going out for a bit Mandy. See ya later”.

She nods her goodbye disinterestedly as Mickey follows Ian outside, managing not to question him until they reach the sidewalk, where he loses his patience.

“What the fuck is this about Gallagher?”

“You need to relax” Ian says firmly, taking off his backpack and starting to dig through it like he’s looking for something in particular.

Mickey grins, “Well if that’s all you were aiming for, we’re fucking good, you rode me like-“

Ian holds up a can of spray paint and shakes it in front of his face, and Mickey takes it confusion, “You wanna go tagging with me?”

He’d been so busy, he’d neglected his favorite hobby for the past couple months, and it was something Ian had never been huge on to begin with. He liked to watch, but never participated.  

But this time the redhead just nods, “Long as you show me how to make a tag”.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Mo follows the two of them through the dark and snowy streets of Chicago, finding their way back to the abandoned concrete structures of the Rogers construction site, buildings that had never quite made their way to fruition.

The dog barks happily into the cold air as they reach the ‘ _fuck_ ’ over the archway of their favorite place, and Ian takes out his spray cans again.

“Maybe we should find a blanker wall, in case I fuck it up at first” he suggests, rethinking it as his eyes roam over Mickey’s old handiwork. It’s funny, but kinda nice, how he treats it like artwork.

Mickey shrugs, but leads him to a different spot, previously untouched. “Blank canvas” he says, shaking his can before handing it to Ian, “Stand back about here…yeah, that’s good”.

Ian lets Mickey position his body a foot or so away from the wall, and then takes the can, positioning his finger over the nozzle the same way Mickey is. “Push down, guide the can, not too fast or it’s a weak ass spray. You gotta guide it along slowly so the lines are strong and shit. What are you gonna write? Or draw I guess” his boyfriend asks, beginning to spray down his tag.

Ian looks at the _MM_ on the concrete wall thoughtfully. Most artists chose an anonymous name to go by, keeping their identity to themselves, but Mickey claimed his own initials for his tag. He kept it simple, marking his territory by name.

Pressing down on his nozzle, Ian directly and slowly adds to the wall beside Mickey’s writing, his own less spiky and more rounded, but just as confident.  

 _MM_ \+ IG

Mickey laughs, “You wanna add a _4 ever_ to the end of that, white girl?”

Ian blushes, “I thought it was cute”.

“You’re cute” Mickey admits, biting his lip as he looks at him. And as they come together again, the sound of a dropped paint can hitting the concrete ringing through the night, Ian thinks of how wonderful it is that Mickey’s lips are so fucking warm even in the cold winter air.


	80. A Very Milkovich Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unlike last year, Mickey and Ian spend Christmas at the Milkovich house.

* **Ian’s POV** *

Mickey coming over on Christmas Day this year was very different from the last, mostly because Ian’s entire family knew they were together, and as they sat on the couch together watching Ian’s siblings open up their presents, Mickey rested his arm warmly over Ian’s shoulders, letting him rest his head against his own.

Sipping on hot chocolate spiked with sweet Bailey’s, Ian stole warm kisses when he could from his boyfriend, more than comfortable in his pajamas and robe while Mickey had shown up fully dressed in jeans and a button down.

Ian awkwardly reaches around where other Mickey’s hand is resting on his knee to get to his frayed robe pocket, where he had tucked a small gift for Mickey that morning. Now that everyone else is done with their presents and their focus is elsewhere, it seems as good a time as any for the personal gift.

“I have something for you” Ian tells him, feeling his fingers brush against the stiff card in his pocket.

“What? No, Ian. We said no fucking gifts this year, remember?” Mickey looks panicked, like Ian was going to make him look like a huge dick for actually honoring their agreement.

As soon as Mickey had brought up saving for school and an apartment next year, both of them had begun saving more religiously than ever towards their new goals. But Ian’s intention wasn’t to make his boyfriend look like a jerk.

“It didn’t cost anything” he insists, pulling it out and handing it him.

It’s a photograph, and at first the confusion on Mickey’s face is obvious, because it’s a picture pulled from Facebook, from one of the girl’s albums they went to school with.

Ian had been bored and scrolling through his timeline one day when a comment had sent it to the top of his feed, catching his attention. The girl, Jessica, is sitting on her seat on the bus and throwing up a peace sign for her friend taking the picture.

The significance though, is that it was taken on the day of the Oak Forest trip, on the morning they had set out on the bus. “Look in the background” Ian prompts, and Mickey’s eyes drift from the centerpiece over towards the left-hand corner of the picture, where he then sees it.

Him and Ian. Their first real meeting, neither of them knowing at that point what was to come. They are just in the background, unnoticed by anyone else, but to them this photograph marks the first important memory of many.

It looks like it was taken around the “Um, why didn’t you bring your backpack?” part of the conversation, before Mickey had promptly asked Ian to shut up so he could sleep, guessing by the shy and awkward look on Ian’s face and the slightly surprised looked on Mickey’s, his eyebrows arched high as they regard each other while sharing the backseat of the bus.

They stare at it for a long moment together, and Ian bites his lip and looks up at Mickey’s face, those blue eyes a field of emotions that he’s intent on keeping at bay.

He finally clears his throat and says hoarsely, “I thought we said no gifts”.

“I wanted you to have this” Ian answers, and then Mickey nods, biting his lip before he turns to hold the side of Ian’s face with his hand, giving him a tender kiss.

“I love you” he murmurs, his eyes falling back to the photograph as he pulls away.

After another moment he carefully takes out his wallet from his jeans pocket and tucks the picture safely inside, saying as he does, “I meant to ask, did you want to come over for dinner tonight? I totally understand if you’d rather be here, but I don’t think I can get out of mine this year. Iggy and Mandy will be there”.

Ian hesitates, “Well what about your dad?”

“Yeah, he’ll be there” Mickey says regretfully, “Like I said. I get it”.

“No, no I’ll go with you” Ian says firmly.

Terry might not realize it, but he was gonna spend Christmas with his boyfriend whether he liked it or not. He was used to playing it cool with Mickey at school, it wouldn’t be hard to act normal at his house tonight.

“Good. Cause now I gotta give you your gift you shit. I was saving it for down the road, but I guess you can have it now” Mickey says teasingly, using his arm to block Ian’s playful strike.

“What is it?” Ian asks curiously, but Mickey just rolls his eyes. “You’ll see later”.

***Mickey’s POV***

Walking towards his house that night with Ian by his side, Mickey feels a strange sense of peace, unlike his usual feelings of dread that accompany him when he’s going home.

Mo is wagging his tail happily alongside them while they walk and talk, pissing on everything he feels is worth marking, and they walk just close enough for their hands to brush every so often, the best they can do without holding hands.

When Mickey opens the front door to his crowded house, the dog runs in ahead of him, and he hears the noise of his relatives inside, tipping his head to invite Ian inside after him. The two of them drop their coats and stomp their feet to get the snow off before they head inside.

Ian had dressed nicely for the night, wearing a pair of ironed jeans and a dark blue button down that made it hard for Mickey to tear his eyes away, because it made his red hair and beautiful pale skin stand out even more prominently than usual.

“Hey Dad” Mickey says, coming into the kitchen, “Brought Ian to have dinner with us”.

He says it casually enough, and his dad is buzzed enough at this point that instead of his expected rude response, he just laughs jovially.

“Get in here you ginger bastard. Question, are you always here cause you’re after Mandy, or is Mick always at your place because he’s after your sister Fiona? Girl’s a damn dime” he says to his cousin Mark, nodding approvingly as he takes another chug of his beer.

“Neither” Ian answers, “I mean, uh. I already have a girlfriend”.

Nice save, Mickey thinks, biting his lip.

“Good. Keep telling Mick here to get off his ass and find a woman before I have to do it for him. I was married by the time I was twenty. Not sure what he’s fuckin waiting for. They dry up if you wait too long son” Terry says disapprovingly.

“He’s only eighteen” Ian says weakly, but Mickey is already shooting him a warning glance to shut up. There were some battles that had no winning, and weren’t worth getting into. Not yet, anyways.

Iggy suddenly comes into the kitchen at the sound of the new voices, but to Mickey’s surprise he immediately grabs his arm, dragging him away from the group and into the privacy of his bedroom.

“Ay! Fuck off Ig, did I say you could go in my fucking room?” Mickey grumbles, roughly removing Iggy’s clammy hand from his arm. He glances back to see Ian still in the kitchen, but Iggy promptly shuts his door, blocking his view.

Randomly remembering the photograph in his wallet, Mickey quickly takes it out of his pocket and pins it to his bedroom wall before it gets crumpled, among a scattering of other photographs taken over the years.

 Some of his old dog, him and Mandy, and some of his graffiti, and other stupid shit.  

“Are you fucking nuts?” Iggy suddenly hisses, “Bringing him here? And what, _who the fuck is that_?” He points at the picture of the girl on the wall, and Mickey taps the top left corner to point out his and Ian’s initial meeting, making Iggy sigh in frustration.

“What’s your fucking problem? He’s been here a million times before. Dad knows him. Doesn’t know what’s going on” Mickey insists, but Iggy’s eyes glance back towards the door, “Well I hope you know what you’re fucking doing. I said I’d support you, but not if you’re gonna commit suicide by coming out at a Milkovich family dinner or some shit”.

“Don’t be fucking stupid, he’s just here as my friend” Mickey snaps, “Quit being weird or you’re gonna be the one to draw attention to it. Now fuck off”. Mickey opens his bedroom door and goes back to find Ian, who has been rescued at this point by Mandy, who’s leaning on his shoulder flirtatiously.

Mickey would be annoyed, but he knows she’s probably just trying to help by throwing his dad off. And he’d missed some part of a conversation, clearly, because he walks in to hear, “A ladies man are ya, Gallagher? Reminds me of me at your age. Not like fucking Mick. I swear I’d say he was a fag if he wasn’t my own son”.

Mickey reddens as he reaches around him for a beer, “Not a fucking fag, Dad. Shut up alright? You’re fucking drunk”.

Terry laughs, “No, no. Of course not. Can’t you take a joke boy? Anyways, let’s eat. I’m fuckin starving”.

***Ian’s POV***

Christmas at the Milkovich house certainly was nowhere near as warm and inviting as it was at the Gallagher’s place, but once Terry dropped the awkward topic of Mickey finding himself a woman, it wasn’t that bad either.

Most of his family that was visiting seemed like pretty average guys, mainly Terry’s male cousins and brothers, but his sister was there too, and some of his kids of course, Mickey’s half siblings. Most of them are at least tipsy at this point, so everyone’s in a good mood.

The coffee table and kitchen counters are littered with beer cans and bottles, and filled ashtrays, some of them with half finished joints that would just later be picked up by another Milkovich.

Dinner was pretty simple, a couple whole roasted chickens, some mashed potatoes, and a Ukrainian dish that Mickey had whispered was called Salad Kiev, and to just fucking eat it, or his Aunt Irina would be pissed.

Ian even took a second helping, much to Mickey’s Aunt Irina’s satisfaction, and Mickey rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh at his ass kissing. 

There was more than enough food to go around, and Ian ate pretty quietly, Mickey mostly doing the same other than throwing in the occasional bold comment into the conversation to keep up his usual appearance.

As awkward as it sort of was, pretending he was just Mickey’s best friend from the neighborhood, Ian was glad he’d been invited along. Because as difficult as it was for him, Mickey was at least trying to make him a part of his world too, instead of insisting on keeping him completely separate.

And although Terry and the rest of them might not realize it, it was Mickey’s way of showing how important Ian was to him, having him over as his guest for the family gathering. It might be stupid, but Ian wanted them to like him too.

He watches Mickey mill around with his family for a while after dinner, making jokes and slapping shoulders while he drinks his beer, careful not to spend too much time by Ian’s side. But every so often, those blue eyes drift in his direction, and Ian smiles before he looks away.

Mandy comes up to him after a while, knocking her hip against him playfully, “How you holding up red?”

“I’m good” Ian answers, knocking her back with his own as he tips his beer up to his mouth.

“That’s great. Mickey asked me to tell you, to go to his room in like, five-ish minutes. Don’t ask why, because I don’t know. But make it quick and then come with me and Ig, we want to get out of here for a bit tonight”.

“Okay” Ian answers in amusement, and he checks his watch a couple times during an easy conversation with a cousin before casually excusing himself and heading to Mickey’s room.

He’s not in there, so Ian sits on the bed and waits until he appears a few minutes later, closing his door behind himself. He leans against it for a moment and smiles at him, and Ian laughs, “What?”

“Nothin. You know how hard it is to stay across the room from you?” Mickey answers, a flash in his eyes.

“How hard?” Ian says softly, his eyes drifting downwards.

“Eh, ay! That’s not why I summoned you to my chambers Gallagher”.

Ian laughs, “Summoned me? Alright. Wait, is it gift time?”

“It might be. Don’t sound so fucking excited either alright? It’s something small”.

Mickey rummages in his dresser drawer for a minute before pulling out a small bundle and tossing it over to him. Ian catches it in his lightly freckled hands and looks at it, “It’s nice” he says appreciatively, running the expensive looking tie through his fingers.

“Color reminded me of your eyes” Mickey admits, coming over to crouch in front of him. “But uh, I got it for a specific reason. You remember the brother and sister I stayed with in Memphis?”

“Of course” Ian answers, almost indignantly at the question. How could he fucking forget that?

“Alright, alright Jesus. Calm down. Camille’s getting married next summer. She invited me and told me I could bring a date”.

Ian looks up at him slowly, “…Me?”

Mickey nods, “They know about you. Good stuff, I promise” he adds quickly, probably noticing the worried expression forming on Ian’s face.

He bites his lip as he looks at the tie, and finally smiles. “It’s a date”. The sharp knock at the door right after he says it makes both of them jump, but it’s just Mandy that sticks her head in. “I told you to be quick!” she complains, eyeing Ian accusingly, “Hurry up buttheads, we wanna have a snowball fight”.

Ian immediately jumps up from Mickey’s bed, “I’m down”.

He follows her and Iggy down the hallway and towards the front door, Mickey close behind with Mo trailing along too, ready as ever to join for an adventure.

The four of them walk down the streets of Chicago, laughing and joking while they share cheap cigarettes, and Ian feels much more relaxed than he did in the Milkovich house. Finally finding a nice space for battle underneath the El, they step back from each other and eye each other warily.

“Teams?” Iggy asks.

“Nah, every bitch for themselves” Mandy grins, bending down to make a snowball.

They all split at the implication, Ian immediately taking off for some cover behind a wide column as he constructs his arsenal. He runs into Iggy first once he leaves his cover, who’s aim is definitely less accurate, as Ian takes a lot fewer snowballs than he does to the chest.

But then Mandy’s coming up behind him and nailing him viciously so he takes off again, retreating back to his stockpile for cover. Breathing quietly as he hides, and listening to Iggy shout in the distance as he gets pelted by Mandy, he then looks around and sees a figure not far away, standing in front of some bushes.

He’d recognize that fine pale white ass anywhere.

It’s Mickey. His pants are down as he takes a piss into the bush, revealing his perfect cheeks. Biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, Ian fires a snowball at him and nails his boyfriend’s left ass cheek directly, Mickey yelping and swearing as it hits him.

“Who the _fuck_ did that!”

Ian presses his gloves into his mouth to stifle his laughter as Mickey yanks up his pants back up, but he soon spots Ian laughing and comes charging over, tackling him down into the snow once he reaches him.

And then Ian’s hands are free and so is his laughter, as Mickey wrestles him in the snow underneath the dark El, complaining about his ice cold ass playfully while Ian reaches down to grab it.

But then he feels Mickey’s lips on his neck, and his grazing teeth as he sucks on it gently, and Ian’s laughter dies in his throat. He’s about to roll him over, ready to ravage him, but then a snowball hits him in the back of the head, and him and Mickey scramble to get up as both Iggy and Mandy come running towards them.

“We’re teaming up, you two are fucking hiding too much! It’s cheating!” Iggy hollers, misfiring some more while Mandy nods her head in agreement.

“I was taking a fucking piss!” Mickey yells defensively, throwing back hastily packed snowballs aggressively. Ian immediately backs him up, and together, even against Mandy’s impressive skills, the other team is no match for them.

Raising their hands in defeat, the four of them soon collapse into the snow, laughing as their breath fogs in the night air. “Truce” Ian calls, accepting the peace offering in the form of a joint Iggy is passing around.

The four of them smoke up together, getting more happy and relaxed as they go.

“So Ian,” Mandy finally asks with a laugh, “How was your first Milkovich Christmas? They usually end in fist or snowball fights, and I guess we got lucky this year”.

Mickey looks over at Ian to study his reaction to the question, and Ian’s face splits into a grin as he smiles back, “It was great. A very Milkovich Christmas. I think I’ll come back next year too”.

“Good, because you’re uh, part of the family now dude” Iggy says, and as much as it means for Ian to hear him say that, by the look on Mickey’s face, he can tell it means even more to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really trying not to get down about Noel possibly not returning to Shameless, but it's hard :/ On that note, I want to see Iggy return too, and Mandy. I fucking love those Milkoviches <3
> 
> P.S Still weird writing about Christmas in August lol


	81. The Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey fool around in private at a high school party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter, but just wanted to keep this one about New Year's :) Enjoy <3 I should be posting a bit more often again now except when writer's block hits :P

It’s easy enough for Ian’s tall ginger head to peer over the crowds of drunk teenagers packed into Brent’s house for his New Year’s party while he searches through the dancing mass to see if his boyfriend has arrived yet.

Mickey of course hadn’t been directly invited to the party by Brent, but Ian was and he had figured _what the hell_.

Half the high school was going to be here tonight, so nobody should give a shit about Mickey Milkovich showing up as long as he wasn’t starting shit. And because he was only coming for Ian’s sake, he wasn’t likely to.

Mickey himself would have been more than content to just stay at home and drink and smoke weed with Ian and his siblings to greet the new year, and had adamantly expressed this, but Brent’s parents were on a Caribbean cruise they won for the holidays, and his huge house was as a result packed with partying high schoolers, something Ian didn’t want to fucking miss out on.

“It’s our last year in highschool Mick” he had pleaded, but he knew by the half-assed roll of Mickey’s blue eyes at his slightly whining tone, and his unimpressed scowl, that he had already won his argument.

Once Iggy and Mandy had expressed their absolute interest in coming along too, it was a done deal. Mandy had friends there and Iggy wanted to hook up. Either Mickey come along too, or he’d be left behind at home with just his Dad and some of his Dad’s friends on New Year’s. Pretty fucking easy decision.

After spending Christmas at the Milkovich’s house, Ian’s interest in getting to know Mickey’s family a little better had only grown.

He still kept a safe distance from Terry himself, but his curiosity was more apparent after spending some more time talking with Iggy and Mandy, as well as some of the other family members too, who had all been at the get together.

Could they all be as hateful as Terry? It didn’t seem like it that night… but everyone was pretty far gone from the alcohol, and in a good mood, so maybe that didn’t mean much.

They accepted him in easily because he was just introduced as another piece of Southside Trash, no threat to who they were or how they lived.

If they knew he was gay, and that he was Mickey’s boyfriend, it would likely be a very different story, Ian thought sadly. At least Iggy had come around, that was something, and he seemed friendly enough most of the time towards him.

Mickey had been amused at first by how much Ian questioned him the day after the Christmas dinner. _What did your Aunt Irina say about me? Did your cousin Ivan say anything about when we talked?_

“She thinks you’re great. You took two helpings of her Kiev, told you that’s all you had to fuckin do. And no he didn’t. Why?”

“I want them to like me” Ian had said earnestly, but the sad look that spread across Mickey’s face shut him down almost immediately.

“Ian, it doesn’t matter whether they like you or not. If they knew what you were, what we fucking are, it wouldn’t matter how great they thought you were before. Just drop it. Let’s leave it at Iggy and Mandy knowing what we are, yeah? I’d like to survive the rest of this year”

Ian’s phone suddenly vibrates with a text, pulling him from his deep thoughts about Mickey’s extended family back into the thriving New Year’s party he’s currently at.

“ **We’re here** ”.

His head immediately shoots towards the front door as it opens, and in stride the three Milkovich’s he had been waiting on, Iggy nodding his head and cracking his knuckles before he throws a wink at an attractive blonde watching their dramatic entry.

From the look on her face, the bad boy look is working for him, and Iggy heads over to make his move.

Mandy, dressed in an attractive figure hugging black dress, immediately makes a left to head for her group of similarly dressed girlfriends, and then that just leaves Mickey, the most striking of them all.

His sharp blue eyes scan over the high schoolers crowded in front of him, his expression never giving anything away about what he’s thinking or feeling. Not until his eyes land on Ian.

Something in them shifts to a lighter shade as he breaks through the crowd, shoving more than one drunk idiot out of his way gently enough without a second thought before he makes his way to Ian’s side.

“You look great!” Ian yells over the music, and it’s true. He really does.

His jet-black hair is cut short and styled, one curl having escaped to hang over his forehead, and he’s got a fitted black tank top on underneath his jacket that accentuates his broad chest.

“Says you” Mickey says back, dragging his hand across his narrow nose with a quick sniff. He looks around uncomfortably, until Ian tips his head towards the kitchen, “Come on! Get something to drink”. He knows it will probably take two things for Mickey to enjoy himself tonight, and liquor is one of them.

“See you already have” Mickey mutters, getting a whiff of Ian’s breath as he passes by him to lead him to the kitchen.

Ian just laughs, “Had to do something while I was waiting for your ass to get here”.

The Milkovich’s were over an hour late from their promised arrival, and Ian had gotten bored after a couple hours of dancing with his classmates, where clueless girls tried to grind on him almost incessantly.

“Mandy’s fault, not mine. Took fucking forever to get ready” his boyfriend complains, ignoring the cans of coke placed beside the whiskey for mixing and just grabbing the damn bottle instead.

He sniffs the bottle suspiciously after he unscrews the cap, and then with a _fuck it_ shrug of his shoulders, he chugs from it.

“Oh, so you just woke up like that?” Ian teases, raising a ginger eyebrow at Mickey’s carefully combed hair. He looked damn good when he woke up too, but there was something about him making an effort for Ian’s sake that turned him on.

Grinning at the middle finger he gets in response, he leans in to whisper beside Mickey’s ear so no one else around them can hear what he’s saying, “Come on, let’s find a closet to make out in”.

Mickey rolls his eyes as he puts the whiskey bottle back down on the counter, after having made a significant dent in it.

“You brought me here for that? Coulda just fucked if we went somewhere else”.

“It’s about the experience” Ian insists, before pushing through their classmates to a quieter spot in the house, Mickey following him passively.

Being Brent’s friend in the past gave Ian a good advantage of knowing the layout of the house, and he remembered there was one semi hidden closet with a small enough door so that it just looked like a pantry. No one was likely to open it, thinking it would just hold common house supplies.

But Ian knew it had more depth inside, and it was perfect for what he was looking for.

It’s not like Mickey wanted to fucking socialize with their classmates or dance anyways, so he might as well get right to it.

Glancing around quickly to make sure no one is nearby, he grabs Mickey’s arm and yanks open the closet door once he finds it, shoving Mickey inside and darting in after him before he closes the door.

It’s almost pitch black inside except for the space right by the door, and he can already hear Mickey swearing.

“Thought you were fucking kidding. Seriously Ian? A closet? There’s a million fucking bad jokes I could make about this”.

“So make one” Ian answers, leaning forward towards the warmth of Mickey’s face and finding his mouth with his lips.

He presses his tongue inside Mickey’s open mouth, who doesn’t exactly protest, and the two of them lower to the ground slowly as they kiss.

There’s some jackets hanging above them that brush over their faces, but Ian pushes them aside impatiently to shift closer to Mickey. There’s just something fucking exciting about this to him, hiding when there are so many people are in the house that could catch them, and exploring Mickey’s body in the dark.

His boyfriend tastes like whiskey, but he’s pretty quiet until Ian’s hand, searching in the dark, finds his jeans and runs up along them towards his inner thigh.

He finds Mickey’s rising hard on pressing stiffly against them, and Mickey lets out a heavy breath as Ian runs his hand firmly against it’s length.

“Remember last year?” Ian whispers, continuing to stroke him over the denim, and cupping his hand over the satisfying bulge. “You fingered me for the first time on New Years Eve, while I was practically begging for you to fuck me”.

Mickey nods with a little confusion, “Yeah?” he answers hoarsely, carefully, shifting his hips upwards slightly against Ian’s hand.

Ian puts a little more pressure down on his cock, kissing Mickey for another little while before he speaks again, “Such a tease Mick, you wouldn’t do it”.

He takes his hand away just to be a tease but Mickey promptly grabs it and puts it back on his dick, “Don’t start what you can’t fucking finish Gallagher”, he growls, “And I did fuck you, good and hard, when you were actually ready for it”.

“That’s true” Ian answers in agreement, “Fuck that was good”. Mickey starts to shift a bit nervously, “Uh, you know, someone could always-“

“Always what?” Ian whispers against his neck salaciously, “Walk in and seeing me working your cock?”

His boyfriend almost shivers underneath him, “Not saying I don’t like all this dirty talk and shit, I do, but either stop, or take my dick out, cause I’m gonna cum in my fucking jeans” Mickey complains, and Ian can tell he’s not lying.

He fumbles in the dark for Mickey’s zipper and undoes it once his fingers locate it, lowering his face down blindly to find his stiff cock with his mouth. He hits in with his chin by accident instead, and Mickey jerks in pain.

“Jesus Gallagher, watch it!”

“Watch what! I can’t see anything!” Ian protests, but he has his heated cock in his hand now, and he jerks him off more smoothly, Mickey’s complaints ceasing almost immediately.

“You gonna catch it with your mouth or should I aim for one of Brent’s jackets?” he soon laughs, moaning slightly as Ian lowers his mouth in response. He lifts up and down repeatedly, soon feeling Mickey’s hand settle over his back firmly as hot cum jets against the roof of his mouth in several generous spurts.

“Fuck” Mickey sighs contentedly, and without seeing him, Ian can tell he’s smiling just by the tone of his voice.

He swallows and lifts himself up for a kiss, hitting somewhere in the general region of Mickey’s perfect mouth.

The two of them then pause as they hear clearer voices nearby, within a few feet of the closet door now, but then the voices move farther away as the sound is growing louder in the living room.

_“10, 9, 8…”_

“It’s the countdown” Ian whispers, crawling closer towards the front of the closet door. He checks his watch. There are just a few seconds left until the New Year.

He turns back behind himself and asks in Mickey’s general direction, “Are you gonna be my New Year’s kiss?”

They had spent last New Year’s entirely alone, trying some new things amidst their intoxication at the Rogers construction site, but because of that they had missed their chance for the traditional kiss.

_“5, 4, 3…”_

“Of course I am. What you asking stupid fucking questions for?” Mickey whispers back, and then he appears beside Ian in the very dim light coming in from underneath the closet door.

“I love you” Ian tells him, as Mickey reaches out for his face to pull him in.

 _“2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR_!” The shout from the crowd of Brent’s party is almost deafening, even a couple of rooms over, and Mickey’s lips crush against Ian’s in such a perfect kiss, that he can almost feel the endorphins spinning off wildly in his brain.

His entire body buzzes with pleasure, reveling in the warmth, the excitement, and the rush his boyfriend never fails to give him.

“I love you too” Mickey tells him, pressing his warm forehead against his firmly before he pulls away, “So fucking much”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is at least 3/4's done now :) Although I'm still loving it every step of the way, I'm just working out how to write  
> some of their time past highschool too with a time jump so we get a future glimpse :)


	82. Mickey Takes Care of the Gallaghers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian apply for college. Mickey takes care of Ian while he's sick, and takes care of Liam's bullies at school.

***Ian’s POV***

“Why the fuck do you have to pay just to apply? It’s like yeah, we’ll take your fuckin money whether we let you in or not. And then, if they do let you in, it’s like give us some more money. And if they don’t fucking let you in, it’s a big fuck you!”

Ian listens to his boyfriend rant as he sits at the computer in the school library, filling out his application for next fall to the Police Department Training Academy of Chicago.

He had apparently decided to take Rob’s advice and do two years of police foundations before he actually applied to go into training as an officer, because it would up his chances significantly for getting accepted, especially considering his “checkered past”. It was also a requirement to be 21 to apply for training as an actual officer, so the timing would work out well. 

Ian didn’t know about all that, but Mickey seemed very sure of Rob’s knowledge on the subject, so he couldn’t exactly say anything against him. He just hoped it was true.

He knew he would be meeting Rob and Camille this coming summer for Camille’s wedding, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about that yet. Part of him was curious, and felt he needed to know this guy that had apparently had such a big impact on his boyfriend, but part of him was worried, and wanted to stay away from Memphis, from what had happened there.

Ian sighs. The time to deal with that would come, for now, he needed to deal with his college applications. He’s sitting at the computer right next to Mickey's, considerably less vocal but just as frustrated with his application.

So many details, so many questions, and he would have to wait months just to know if he was even allowed to attend in the fall. Mickey was in the same boat, hell, all of their classmates were, but that didn’t make it any easier. If this fell through, Ian would have to plan his entire life over again, and the thought is stressing him out even more.

Ian coughs into his sleeve as Mickey hammers into the keyboard next to him, and then sniffs a bit, and Mickey turns to glare at him.

“Are you gonna say anything or are you just gonna sit there and sniff?”

Ian bites his lip to hold back a laugh, but instead he just coughs again. Mickey immediately looks apologetic at his snap, “Sorry. Just stressed right now”.

“Yeah, I get it. Why do they need Frank and Monica’s info for this application anyways, I’m the one going to school” Ian wonders aloud, scrolling down some more with his mouse.

“Fuck if I know” Mickey shrugs, “How much shit do you think I would get in if for Terry’s occupation I just put ‘being a prick’”.

“Don’t” Ian laughs, “I doubt the admissions office will take you seriously if you do that”.

“Yeah, yeah” Mickey grumbles, but he just types in _unemployed_. The two of them continue to scroll down their screens for the next half hour or so, carefully going over everything they have typed into their applications, before they finally reach the end of them.

Both boys pause, and glance over at each other nervously. The only thing left to do now is submit.

“Fuck, I don’t know man” Mickey finally breathes out, shaking his head doubtfully as he looks at his screen. Ian watches him move his mouse towards the exit mark at the top of the screen in horror, but before he can cancel it, Ian lunges over and presses the spacebar, submitting his application.

Mickey raises his eyebrow indignantly at his bold move, “What the-“ and then he immediately reaches over and presses Ian’s submit button too.

“There” he says firmly, and Ian nods, swallowing hard. “Yup. There. Now we just have to wait”.

***Mickey’s POV***

When Mickey shows up at the Gallagher house the next day to walk to school with Ian, he ends up waiting on the porch for a lot longer than he normally does.

“What the fuck” he mutters after a while, checking his phone for texts and the time simultaneously. They are gonna be fucking late if Ian keeps wasting time, and he didn’t even send a text to let him know he was running late. 

Fuck it. Mickey goes inside the house and looks around the living room and kitchen briefly, with no sign of Ian, or any of the other Gallaghers. It was normal that the rest of them weren’t there, they left before Ian did most mornings, but Ian should be-

And then Mickey hears it. Horrible retching from upstairs. He hurries up the stairs towards the sound and sees Ian pale and hunched over in the bathroom.

“Jesus Ian” Mickey mutters, as he vomits again. “You sick?” he asks, but as soon as he says it, he shakes his head. What a stupid fucking thing to ask.

“Flu” Ian gasps out. He starts coughing again too and Mickey grimaces at the sight. There's no way his boyfriend is going to school today, and there's no way he's leaving him here on his own, “Hold on a sec”. Mickey pulls out his phone and calls the school, listening to the secretary’s normal greeting before he awkwardly explains that they won't be coming in.

“Yeah it’s uh, Mickey. Milkovich. I’m not gonna be in today, and Ian Gallagher won't be either”.

She tuts into the phone, “You are eighteen Mr. Milkovich, and can call in your own absence, but Ian will need a parent or guardian to confirm-“

Mickey rolls his eyes and holds the phone close enough to the still retching Ian, who tries weakly to shove his hand away in embarrassment. Mickey puts the phone back to his head, pursing his lips and raising his eyebrow sharply. “You fuckin hear that? He’s sick. He’s not coming in”.

He hangs up the phone and shoves it in his pocket before taking off his coat and backpack and dropping them in the hallway, crouching behind Ian to hold his arms. He’s even paler than usual, and almost shaking he’s so weak. Mickey wonders briefly in annoyance why Fiona didn't call him this morning to tell him he was sick. 

“C’mon, come back to bed” Mickey says quietly, but Ian won’t budge. “Just gonna puke in it” he whispers, and Mickey notices how green his face is. Shit. He has a point.

“Hold on”. Mickey goes down the hallway to rummage through the supplies closet Fiona keeps until he finds a bucket with an old mop sitting in it. He leaves the mop and takes the bucket, bringing it back to Ian.

Ian tries to put one hand on it, but Mickey holds it for him instead, using his other arm to help lift Ian up from the tiled floor. “C’mon” he repeats gently, leading Ian back to his bedroom. Ian presses his sweaty forehead against his shoulder, and looks like he is about ready to pass out as Mickey helps lower him back onto his bed, the sheets still all mangled from him jumping out of them this morning.

Leaving the bucket in front of him, Mickey presses his palm against his forehead, remembering how his mom used to. “You got a wicked fever man” he says, frowning. Mickey wasn’t usually an extremely sympathetic person, but he hated seeing Ian this sick.

No smiles, no jokes, no laughing. It was unnerving. “Just lay down, I’ll go get you some shit to make you better” Mickey tells him, “I’ll be back soon”.

Ian nods weakly and puts his head back down on his pillow, and with that Mickey hurries back down the stairs and out of the house, towards the nearest pharmacy.

“Yo. Throwing up a lot, coughing, possibly the shits. What do you give someone for that?” he demands, placing his hands down on the counter in front of the pharmacist.

“Are you talking about a child?” the pharmacist asks, and Mickey snorts. “No. Grown ass teenager. Sick as a fuckin dog”.

“Sounds like a bad flu. Usually one that severe doesn’t last more than a couple days, but you need to make sure the person stays hydrated. I would recommend you pick up a case of Gatorade to replenish their electrolytes, and you can give them this Advil as well, up to four times a day. It’s a special kind for flus”.

Mickey takes the bottle suspiciously, “This gonna make him better?”

“He needs to get it out of his system one way or another. But this will help with the aches and fever. You said cough as well? Tea and honey works well, we have lozenges too…”

“Alright, give me all of it” Mickey says, taking out his wallet with a frown. He goes to grab a case of blue Gatorade and brings it back too, and a box of tea. The pharmacist rings him through and Mickey doesn’t think twice about the thirty-five-dollar bill.

He shoves everything in his backpack except for the Gatorade, which he carries in his arms back to the Gallagher house.

Much to his dismay, he finds Ian in the bathroom again, and against his feeble protests, drags his ass back to his room. “Lay the fuck down Ian. Listen, take this pill. No, take two of them. With this Gatorade. And then I’m gonna make you some fucking tea and you’re gonna drink it”.

Ian looks up at him blearily, and just nods his head, taking the crap Mickey hands him and giving up his attempt to argue. After giving his hot forehead a kiss and pushing away his sweaty hair from it, Mickey heads downstairs to make him his tea. He can’t remember the last time he made a fucking cup of tea, and he practically burns himself trying to take out the bag.

“Fucking shit” he swears loudly, dropping it back in with a splash. He grabs a spoon instead and stirs some honey in like the pharmacist said to before he takes the bag out with it. Success. He carries it up the stairs carefully, but finds Ian already passed out, a few sips missing from his Gatorade bottle, and two pills gone from the packet.

Mickey sighs, it will have to do. He puts the tea down on Ian’s beside table and crawls onto the bed beside him, putting one of his arms over Ian’s hot body gently so he can hold him without waking him up. Fuck he loves this kid.

It’s like his brain is buzzing right now, everything in him telling him to make it better, make him better, fix it. It's frustrating as hell knowing he just has to let Ian go through it.

He must have passed out at some point while he was laying there holding him, because when he wakes up Ian is throwing up again into his bucket, and it’s all blue like his fucking Gatorade. Mickey grimaces at the harsh sound, and when Ian leans back in defeat he whispers miserably, “I feel like shit”.

“You’re fucking freezing man. C’mere” Mickey holds him closer, and pulls all the blankets over them, letting Ian shake off the fever in his arms. “I’ll take care of you” he murmurs behind his head, running his hand down Ian’s arm soothingly.

After another dose of flu medication and another couple hours of rest while they lay in bed together and watch Netflix, Ian’s fever finally starts coming down and he seems a little more alert. Alert enough to start to panic, of course, “I’m supposed to pick up Liam from kindergarten today!” he says, trying to sit up in bed.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, I’ll get him” Mickey says, getting up from his bed and pushing him back down at the same time. “Drink your fuckin tea and watch tv, we’ll be back soon”. Ian meekly takes his new cup of hot tea and drinks from it, and satisfied, Mickey leaves. He’d come along a couple times before to pick up Liam from his kindergarten class, so he knows where to go.

He waits outside by the gate, away from where most of the parents choose to wait, and smokes a cigarette while he waits for Liam. When he spots the little kid he waves his hand and Liam comes over very slowly, but the look on his face immediately makes Mickey crouch down to his level.

“Hey, hey…what’s wrong?”

Liam shakes his head and Mickey grabs his arm gently, not letting him turn away. “What’s wrong” he repeats, more of a statement than a question. He finds himself immediately concerned, and protective, and it's strange...

Liam looks away behind himself, towards the joint area where the elementary school met the middle school in a concrete square with basketball hoops and ball hockey nets. There’s one older kid he looks at specifically, a tall and mean looking teenager. “He said I was retarded”.

Mickey frowns, immediately standing up again to stare at the kid Liam’s looking at. “Why the fuck would he say that?” he says, confused and angry over how hurt Liam is. “Because I don’t talk” Liam explains simply, and it’s clear because of the way the kid had treated him, he’s connected the two.

“Listen here Liam. One, you do talk. You just wait until you have something worth saying, unlike those shitheads that can’t keep their fuckin mouths shut. Two, he’s wrong and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And I’m gonna show him that”.

Liam waits tentatively while Mickey walks across the basketball court, tossing his cigarette as he calls out, “Hey. You”. The kid turns to look at him and Mickey almost laughs in his face. Imagine a kid that age having to pick on a four year old.

The kid looks around uncertainly at his friends, “Uh, yeah?”

Mickey points back where Liam is still standing, and sees Debbie and Carl have found him too. “You call that kid a retard?” he asks calmly. 

The guy laughs, “It’s a joke man. He never talks”. Mickey bites his lip, nodding his head slowly.

“Yeah. Okay”. He slams a well aimed fist in the kid’s gut, watching him double over in pain. He purposely chose a spot he knew wouldn’t bruise, but South Side kids aren’t likely to snitch anyways. Leaning down beside his head he mutters, “Do I really have to tell you that if you bother him again I’ll come back for you? Didn’t think so. Come up with some better jokes”.

And with that, Mickey walks away, satisfied he’s taught the kid a lesson. The rest of them should leave Liam alone now, if they knew what was good for them. Liam is beaming when he returns to his side, and Mickey leads him out of the schoolground with his hand on his shoulder, listening to Carl and Debbie blab about how cool he is, and how that kid had it coming for a long time now, he bullied all the younger kids. 

Satisfied that Liam is no longer upset, Mickey reminds them before they go running in the house to be quiet, because Ian’s sick.

He goes up the stairs quietly, and sees Ian rolled over and facing his wall, so he hesitates before he comes further into the room. “Hey” he says quietly, testing to see if Ian’s awake. Ian rolls around to look at him, still a little out of it from his flu. Mickey walks over to him and drops his sweater by the floor, “Sorry I’m late. Had to take care of some kid bugging Liam at school”.

Ian’s dry and chapped lips spread into a smile, and he moves over to make room for Mickey to join him in bed. As he does, Mickey puts an arm around Ian, pushing his red hair back and kissing his warm forehead again.

He’s no longer afraid of sinking into that role of a family life. The Gallaghers are his fucking family, and he knows that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted a chapter where Mickey takes care of sick Ian, since Ian already took care of him a while back when he was drunk :)


	83. Overthinking Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey celebrates another birthday. Ian gets a little frustrated by how overly closeted he is at school.

_April_

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey gets to celebrate his nineteenth birthday on it’s _actual_ day with the Gallaghers, instead of the early celebration and following shit show like his eighteenth. He tries as per usual to get them to keep it lowkey, but they throw him a birthday bash anyways, knowing that he’s mostly only pretending to be annoyed.

“You got yourself a nice thing going here” Iggy tells him that night, gesturing with his hand that’s holding a Pabst beer around the Gallagher’s house. His other arm is slung around his half brother’s shoulder warmly, and Mickey nods somewhat seriously, “I know”.

The house had been decorated for the occasion again, completely for him, and Ian had smartened up and gotten Debbie’s help to make his cake this year, which was the only thing he wanted for his birthday. A homemade cake.

His mom used to do that. He has blurry memories of that, sneaking peeks at homemade cakes hidden under toothpicks and tinfoil in the fridge, and swiping tiny bits of sweet frosting from the plate. They are good memories.

Anyways, it’s warm and happy here, and he’s surrounded by people who actually give a shit about him; the Gallaghers, their neighbors, his siblings Iggy and Mandy, and his dog. And he’s got an ice cold beer in his hand.

What more could he ask for?

As if reading his thoughtful mind, Ian comes over and gives him a kiss on the cheek, smiling into it. “Ready to see your gift?”

“See it?” Mickey asks, frowning slightly. What the fuck did that mean? And why was Ian always so bent on fucking breaking their no gift rules?

Ian nods in confirmation and places his hands over Mickey’s eyes, who rolls them but allows himself to be led blindly out of the kitchen and into the backyard. It’s quiet outside, so Mickey can tell that Ian asked his family not to follow them out.

“The fuck” he says uncertainly, stumbling a bit on the grass outside. He does not like this. Ian helps to steady him, “Almost there”.

Mickey can tell they are somewhere behind the house now, most likely in the alley judging by the feel of concrete that’s now underneath his feet.

“Okay” Ian finally says, the excitement in his voice obvious as he lifts his hands away. Mickey opens his eyes and blinks and squints, in the darkness he can see, is that a…? “It’s a telescope” Ian beams, as Mickey scratches the back of his neck in confusion.

But Ian quickly elaborates, seeing the strange look on his face.

“I borrowed it. Remember this?” He takes a card out of his pocket, and Mickey smiles as he looks at it.

“Course I do”. It’s from his Valentine’s gift well over a year ago now, their very first together.

 Ian had bought him a binary star, well, two stars, one for each of them. They revolved around each other or some shit, sharing a common centre. It was the coolest and probably most deeply thought about gift anyone had ever gotten Mickey.

Back then, they were still hiding from everyone. But those stars shone brightly anyways, viewable by anyone. He had a blurry satellite photograph of them, but they had never actually used the coordinates to find them before.

“You know how to use that thing?” Mickey asks, pointing at the telescope doubtfully. He’s pretty sure there’s no way he’ll fucking figure it out before the sun comes up.

“Yeah. I borrowed it from our science teacher, and he showed me how to use it a few times for practice. I already set it up on the coordinates, just have to adjust it a bit more” Ian answers, looking through the eyepiece as he fiddles with the knobs and dials again.

Mickey watches him as he does, reading out the coordinates again for reference.

“Got it” Ian finally says, the excitement in his voice almost contagious. The smile on his face is so big, that Mickey almost feels bad shoving him away so he can have a look too, but that just makes Ian even happier.

He quickly presses his own sharp eye to the lens, scrunching his face up to try and figure it out while Ian grins at him. And then he sees them.

 “Holy shit” Mickey breathes out. There they are. Way up there above it all, glowing beside each other, one slightly more orange, one slightly more blue. “That’s fucking amazing” he admits, truly impressed.

“Isn’t it” Ian says softly, as Mickey pulls away from the telescope to look at him again.

“I don’t know how you even think of this shit for me Ian, but I’m glad you do”.

Ian smiles again, leaning in to kiss him. Mickey focuses his attention on the feeling of his lips, the slight roughness in the centre, but the rest of them so soft and warm.

“Happy birthday” Ian murmurs into his mouth.

***Ian’s POV***

Coming home from work one day about a month later, Ian notices Fiona waiting for him apprehensively in the kitchen.

“What’s up?” he asks warily as he takes in her expression, but she just shakes her head, lifting up a large envelope instead of answering with words.

It’s from Malcom X, and it’s holding either his acceptance or his rejection for EMT studies in the coming fall.

“Holy shit” Ian says, snatching it from her hands. He remembers Mickey’s shift had ended at the same time as his today, so he quickly takes his phone out of his pocket to call him, ignoring Fiona’s look of impatience.

“Mick! Did you check the mail?” he blurts out as soon as his boyfriend answers.

“Do I ever check the fucking mail?” Mickey laughs, but Ian just shakes his head impatiently, “Go check the fucking mail. Right now. And stay on the phone”.

“Alright, alright. Jesus Gallagher keep your fuckin panties on”.

Ian listens intently to the sound of Mickey moving through his house, the front door being pushed open, and the creak of a rusty metal mailbox opening.

“Fuck” Mickey breathes out a moment later. “Did you get it?” Ian quickly asks, but he has to wait for an answer.

“Yeah I did. Did you open yours yet?”

“No, waiting for you”. Fiona rolls her eyes from across the table at him, but smiles.

“You wanna go some place and open them together?” Mickey suggests, his tone careful, but Ian can tell how worried he suddenly is.

“Yeah. Sounds good”.

“I’ll pick you up in ten. Get your helmet”.

Ian hangs up his phone and grins apologetically at Fiona, “Sorry”. “Oh come on Ian” she protests, “I think I deserve to know first, don’t you? Other than you of course”.

“You’ll know soon. Promise” he tells his sister, heading to the hallway to grab his helmet. She follows him, “Okay Ian. I expect a text or something at least. Gonna give me heart problems making me wait like this” she teases.

As soon as he hears Mickey’s motorcycle out on the street, Ian grabs his stuff to run outside with, hearing Fiona yell out after him, “Good luck!”

Mickey’s sitting on his Enduro and waiting for him, looking out through his dark helmet in Ian’s direction as he approaches. He hands him his own envelope from the Chicago PD Training Academy, “Hold onto this for me”.

Ian takes it and gets on the bike behind him, pretty sure he knows where Mickey will take him to open them. The one place they would have absolute privacy. Sure enough, soon his boyfriend is killing the engine by their place in the Rogers construction site, and heading inside, where Ian hands Mickey his own envelope back.

“Fuck man, I don’t know if I want to open it” Mickey suddenly admits, laughing nervously, “I probably didn’t get in”.

“You won’t know until you open it” Ian reminds him, “And Mick, if either of us didn’t…we can always try again”. Mickey nods, but both of them know how much that would set them back. Everything was in line for them over the next year now, if only this and a few more steps would happen for them.

Mickey pulls a pocket knife out from his jeans, and waiting until Ian does the same, they both open their letters at the same time, pulling out the papers with shaking fingers. Ian’s eyes aren’t sure what they want to gaze at more, his or Mickey’s, but he can’t see the print on Mickey’s anyways.

He glances down at the paper in front of him, his eyes quickly skimming to read, _“Dear Mr. Ian Gallagher, we are pleased to invite you to attend Malcolm X College for the upcoming year in your program of choice. To accept this offer-“_

Ian sinks to his knees in relief, “I got in” he says happily. He repeats it again as he looks up at Mickey, who’s expression is unreadable as his eyes run over his paper. “What does it say?” Ian asks, but when Mickey doesn’t answer him, he can’t help it. He goes to stand behind him and read over his shoulder.

_“Dear Mr. Mikhailo Milkovich, we are pleased to present you with a conditional offer to attend the Police Foundations Program at the Police Department Training Academy of Chicago. A conditional offer stipulates-“_

Ian stops reading and looks over at Mickey, and realizes the expression on his face is shock. “I got in?” he asks numbly.

Ian nods, his body vibrating with nervous energy, “Yeah Mick. You did. You just have to keep your grades up, and you’re in”.

They are both very quiet for a moment, before they wordlessly grab each other into an impossibly tight hug, relief flooding through the two of them.

“I’m so fucking proud of you” Ian whispers into Mickey’s neck, feeling his fingers press tightly against the back of his own. Mickey nods quietly, “I can’t believe we’re doing this. I’m doing this. I’m going to fucking college Ian”.

Ian pulls away from the hug to look into his blue eyes, still grasping his acceptance. “Yeah you fucking are Mick”. He pulls out his phone to call Fiona, and as soon as she picks up he yells, “We got in!”, Mickey joining in with his excited laugh at the end.

“Oh my god! You guys! Jesus Christ, I’m so…I’m so happy for you” she says, her voice full, “What’s next?”

“You should go tell your dad, rub it in his fucking face” Ian says, turning to Mickey, but he just shakes his head, “Not yet man. Soon, but not yet. I want to be 100% accepted or I’ll look like a total asshole”.

“Just hang in there Mick. You’ve got two months left of school, and you’re done. We’ll help you get rid of that conditional part. I’m sure Lip will help too, you can call him anytime” Fiona offers through the speakerphone, Ian nodding the entire time.

“Okay” Mickey finally answers, “Let’s fucking do this”.

  ***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey is still in somewhat a state of disbelief for the next week or so, even after everybody’s congratulations and encouragement.

Mandy is surprised as hell, and Iggy too, but Mickey doesn’t take offence to that, because no one had ever seen college in his future, including himself. Not until Ian came around.

Mandy herself hadn’t changed her school habits enough to graduate on time, and because she was missing several credits, she’d have to do another year in highschool before she could graduate. She was still happy for her brother though, and had even bought him a bottle of decent whiskey to celebrate, splitting the cost with Iggy.

The only problem now was Terry. He had been pushing more and more about Mickey finding a girlfriend, to start thinking about having kids, and getting his shit together. They had a very different definition from each other of what that meant though.

Mickey doesn’t even want to tell him about any of his plans, he doesn’t deserve to fucking know and it will only cause problems. So he decides to hide everything, any shred of evidence he was thinking of moving out with Ian, going to school next year, or that he might already be in love with someone. That someone being a guy.

Mickey steadies himself on the highschool football field on a warm Friday, enjoying one of the last games he would play in highschool with his classmates, including Ian.

Any sport he got to tackle the shit out of someone in and not get in trouble, he was a fan of. He had a feeling he would fucking love hockey if he ever got to play.

He grins as he sees Ian on the opposite team, playing wide receiver. Mickey himself is of course playing tackle, everyone on his team immediately assigning him to that role with no hesitation, and it’s favorite to play anyways, so he doesn’t give a shit.

He might not be as fast or as large as some of the other players, but when he threw himself at someone, they were going down. As soon as the coach blows his whistle Mickey backs up, waiting to see who is the biggest threat advancing on their end of the field.  

Surprise surprise, it’s fucking Brent. Mickey clamps his teeth down on his mouth guard, and like a bull, charges forward, diving at the last second to bring him down. He succeeds, but then he sees Ian there, running to receive as Brent desperately throws to him.

Mickey gets up and runs for Ian, but he notices a strange flash in Ian’s eyes as he approaches. Instead of running, or doing anything that makes fucking sense, he throws the ball off to his teammate and rushes forward, surprising Mickey.

They collide, and Ian ends up on top of Mickey, wrestling him down playfully and laughing as Mickey’s eyes widen in surprise. He turns his head in his helmet and sees some of his teammates slowing down, glancing over, unsure of whether to help or…

“What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers urgently, quickly pushing Ian off. He doesn’t laugh, or smile, and Ian’s own quickly fades.

“I’m just playing around” he says defensively, but Mickey shakes his head as he pulls himself up, “Watch what your fucking doing”.

He quickly runs from Ian’s side back into his defensive position, hoping no one had thought too much into it. But he knows he’s getting some weird looks from his teammates now, and as Ian walks dejectedly back to his own lineup, he panics. He pictures Terry in his mind, Terry finding out, Terry ruining everything before he even got a chance to get out.

Not knowing what else to do, he turns and punches the guy standing next to him, his own teammate, who quickly screams at him, “I’m on your fucking team you psycho!”

But Mickey is desperate now to give them something else to focus on, so he keeps fighting him until the coach is in his face again, screeching the whistle in his ear.

“That’s your last game for this year Milkovich! I’m tired of hauling your sorry ass off my field”.

Mickey spits out his mouth guard and stalks off the field while holding his middle finger high, glad to see Ian is smart enough not to follow. But he shows up in the changeroom before anyone else, and shoves Mickey as he comes up behind him at his locker.

“The fuck was that for” he growls, and Mickey immediately gets aggressive back. “You can’t fucking _play wrestle_ me on the field Ian. Any idea what that looks like?”

Ian throws up his hands in exasperation, “Oh right. What that looks like. _What that looks like._ That’s all I ever fucking hear from you lately Mickey. You’re gonna miss out on your own Prom because of this shit. Who cares what it looks like?”

“I care!” Mickey says, glaring at him as he lowers his voice to spit his next sentence, “And I’m not fucking coming out in fucking highschool, so if you are getting that idea in your head, stop it now”.

“I’m not” Ian sputters indignantly, “I just think you are overthinking shit again”.

“Am I?” Mickey asks slowly, trying to reason if he’s actually being overly defensive again. He sighs, trying to cool his rising temper, “Look I… I’m sorry. I just saw the way they were looking at me…and I flipped. I’m sorry”.

Ian finally relaxes, “S’okay. Dick”. He grins at Mickey and Mickey rolls his blue eyes, “Who won anyways?”

“No one” Ian laughs, “Game went to shit once you left. Always does”.

Mickey nods, pleased with that at least. He knew the coach wanted him on the field, shit starter or not. He’d come around. And so would Ian. He just needed a little more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something big is coming sooooon :)
> 
> (a difficult but good thing) ;)


	84. What Are You Fucking Waiting For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terry introduces a timely threat, Ian inadvertently gives Mickey another ultimatum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! Please don’t freak out until you reach the end of the chapter!! As always, thank you to my amazing readers, commenters, and subscribers (we've reached over 100 now) :)

***Mickey’s POV***

“Do that thing with your tongue again” Mickey groans, lifting the bedsheet to watch Ian grin cheekily upwards at him from underneath it.

“What thing? This thing?”

“Fuck…” Mickey bites his lip while Ian slips a finger inside of him as he gently rims him, struggling to keep his strong thighs from shaking as the incredible sensation builds inside of him.

“So hot watching you this turned on for me” Ian mutters under the sheet, but Mickey finally lets his breath out impatiently, “Are you gonna get up here or not?” Fingers and tongues are all well and good, but nothing compares to actually having his boyfriend plowing him with his dick.

Ian laughs, his warmth breath making Mickey’s sensitive skin prickle as he surfaces, tossing the striped sheet away to reveal his flushed face and mussed red hair.

“I could probably get off just from watching you get off” he teases, stroking his hard cock with his fist as he kneels in front of him. Mickey just gives him his best unimpressed face, “You know how I like getting off Gallagher”.

“Yeah yeah” Ian smirks, but both of their grins slip from their faces into more concentrated expressions of heated pleasure as he slips his dick inside of Mickey after having worked him open perfectly with his tongue.

“Spread your legs a bit” Ian grunts, moving his arms underneath them to pull Mickey down closer towards himself. He’s angling him in sort of an odd way, with his back arched and his head lower as Ian basically cradles his ass and legs in his lap, but fuck if it doesn’t feel good, behind held like that.  

Mickey closes his eyes slowly as Ian rocks into him methodically, his breath shuddering as he gets deeper and deeper into the feeling of being buried inside of him. Mickey can already feel the tingling in his groin, the slow building of an orgasm not rushed, and he bites his lip to keep himself quiet as it gets even stronger, knowing they aren’t alone in the Gallagher house.

Opening his eyes to look into Ian’s green ones, he sees them hazy and completely focused on his own face, and he can tell he’s close too.

“Want me to rub yours out?” Ian asks, but its clear he would rather keep his tight grip on Mickey’s thighs instead, holding him in the perfect position. 

"Nah” Mickey answers, and he hesitates for a minute before he adds, “I think I can cum without it man”.

“ _Ffff_ ” Ian doesn’t even get the rest of his _fuck_ out before his face strains with the effort of fighting his own climax from arriving too soon, his forehead beginning to shine with sweat as he does. Mickey trains his piercing gaze on Ian’s face, watching his blown green eyes level with his own, running them down over his parted and wet lips…

Mickey feels himself lift upwards slightly as his body starts to release untouched, and he knows Ian loses it at that as he starts swearing and shudders, emptying deep inside him. He quickly moves a hand to help finish Mickey’s orgasm, immediately bringing him even more relief.

“Jesus Christ that was hot” Ian groans, wiping his hand off on his bare chest as he pulls out. “You don’t usually do that”.

Mickey shrugs even though his heart is still racing.

“Hard to cum without jerking yourself, you know that. But watching your face just did it for me this time man”.

Ian nods, leaning down to kiss him, and Mickey feels his damp hair brush against his forehead as his phone starts to ring. Groping for it blindly before he pulls away from the kiss, Mickey groans, but not with satisfaction, as he sees who it is.

“Back off a bit” he mutters to Ian, who grimaces at the contact name on the phone.

“Hey dad” Mickey sighs as he picks up the phone.

“Where are you?”

“Um, Ian’s”.

His dad grunts, “Get your ass home”. Mickey looks over at Ian, who's clearly wanting him to stay. 

“Why?”

“Because I fucking said so you little shit”.

The look on Ian’s face makes Mickey feel a little defensive as he hangs up the phone, “Not like I have a choice Ian”. The look says, _“You do”_ but Ian doesn’t. He knows better.

Mickey quickly jumps into his pants and yanks his black t-shirt back on, stooping to give Ian a mild kiss on the cheek before he leaves.

He tries to control the irritated tone of his voice when he steps into his own house a while later, but he’s still a little pissed about his dad interrupting his time with Ian.

“What?” he grunts, coming in to look at him quizzically. His dad tips his head towards a woman sitting at the kitchen table beside him, and he takes a sip of his beer. “This is Svetlana” he says, and the woman turns to stare at him.

Her eyes are cold and calculating, like she’s sizing him up, and it makes him uncomfortable.

“Uh, okay. Hi?” he says, confused. And then it hits him. He knows exactly what he’s fucking doing.

 “Fuck” he mutters under his breath, quickly excusing himself with, “Gotta use the bathroom”.

He hurries to his room and shuts the door behind to himself, glancing at his dirty window and wondering if he has time to prop it open enough to escape. He’s not having this fucking conversation right now.

But before he gets to the sill, Terry is coming in, and closing the door firmly behind himself.

His voice is low and threatening as he points an accusing finger towards his son, “Don’t play games with me boy. Quit being a fucking pussy. She’s twenty-five, she’s ready to have kids, and she knows what she’s fucking doing, trust me”.

“That’s fucked up” Mickey says, his face curling in disgust. “And I already told you, not fucking interested”.

“Do I look like I give a fuck if you’re interested? I’m sick of this weird shit from you son. It’s like you’re…like you’re _fucking gay or something_ ”.

Mickey freezes for a second, and it was clearly the wrong thing to do, because anything other than an automatic scoff or denial was clearly threatening enough to his dad.

He grabs him by the scruff of his shirt roughly as Mickey swallows hard, “And _we both know_ that you aren’t. And you never will be. This is your life. Get fucking used to it”.

***Ian’s POV***

Ian waits at Mickey’s dented locker, sitting on the ground in front of it and staring at the poster for Prom directly across from him.

Highschool really was drawing to an end. There was only about a month left now, but he still has a strange sense of unfinished business even so. He sighs, playing absentmindedly with the string of his hoodie.

He soon sees familiar construction type boots appear in front of him and he smiles up at Mickey, who’s mouth is twitching awkwardly at the sight of him. “You uh, like waiting at my locker huh?” he asks.

Ian shrugs, he’d made a habit of it for the past few days. It made things easier than wandering around the halls looking for him. He’d been harder to find than usual lately.

The look on Mickey’s face isn’t playful though, it’s dull, and Ian frowns as he starts to talk again.

“Wasn’t gonna say anything, but Mandy told me that she heard some people talking about you doing that and shit. Like maybe they thought it was weird”.

Ian looks up at him in disbelief, “Are you fucking kidding me right now? I can’t stand by your locker now anymore either?” He’d been acting weird for days, and it was really starting to piss him off.

Mickey glares at him, “Don’t fucking give me that shit. I didn’t say that. I’m just saying-“

“You know, you’re getting worse, not better, with this whole _not hiding thing_  that you fucking started, I’ll remind you” Ian points out in irritation. Mickey rolls his blue eyes harshly, “That was _your family_ Ian. Completely fucking different… than having other people think…”

Ian chews on his lip in annoyance. He’s getting pretty fucking sick of this hiding shit. Yeah it had been great coming out to his family, and Mickey’s brother and sister, but that was almost a year ago already, and if anything it seems like Mickey is focused on making them not seem like a couple now more than ever.

Maybe people were paying a little more attention now, but so fucking what?

A group of girls from their English class passes by them, but one of them breaks off to come over to them, and Mickey immediately swears under his breath, while Ian’s eyes dart between them.

It’s Becca. Was this the reason he was acting weird?

“Mickey, did you think any more about Prom yet? I already said I’d pay for the tickets” she drawls, teasingly.

“I said I’d fucking think about it, give me time to think about it” he snaps back, refusing to look in Ian’s direction as he stares directly at him. Becca rolls her pretty brown eyes, unfazed by his attitude, “Ian, tell him he should go”.

Mickey still has his head his locker, but just Ian looks over at him for what feels like a very long moment.

“Yeah Mickey, you should fucking go” he finally says, not missing how Mickey’s eyes immediately dart out of the locker and towards him with surprise.

And with that, Ian grabs his shit and storms down the hallway, right into the first bathroom he sees. He’s definitely gonna be late for class now, but he needs to fucking calm down before he even tries to go in. He feels hot tears pricking at his eyes and he angrily wipes them away before they even form, turning to look at the bathroom door as it swings open with force.

“What the fuck was that!” Mickey swears in disbelief, “Now I-“

“Now you can fucking take her. That’s what you fucking want right? Everybody thinking you’re straight. So fucking go with her Mickey. I’m done”.

“You’re not fucking done”, Mickey denies, snorting, “And I’m not fucking taking-“

“I’m tired of hiding! I’m not going to do this forever Mickey, and I don’t know what you’re fucking waiting for anymore. This is never going to get easier, us being together, us being in the South Side. So if you aren’t going to come around now, I’m not going to waste any more years pretending to be something I’m not. Pretending that I’m not fucking in love with you”.

Mickey’s mouth drops open at his rant, but Ian’s angry as hell now and he can’t control his mouth. He’s not done, far from it, but he wants to hurt Mickey like he’s hurting him right now, and this is the only way he can think of to lash out at him.

“You’re done” Mickey repeats numbly, looking at him like he doesn’t know him.

“Yeah” Ian says slowly, sniffing as he pushes past him out of the bathroom. He heads to class, noticing Mickey doesn’t come after him, and he’s not sure what to make of that. Ian throws himself down into his seat in class, and ignores the teacher’s annoyed look at his late entrance.

He forces himself to look at the blackboard, and catch up on the notes, not letting his mind slip back to his anger.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey stands there feeling fucking stunned for who knows how long.

Ian was always temperamental, sure, what redhead fucking wasn’t it, but this outburst was different. There was real hurt in it, and what seemed like an obvious ultimatum.

“Fuck” Mickey mutters, looking around himself in desperation before he drags a hand down over his stinging eyes. He sure as hell wouldn’t have gone with Becca, but he wouldn’t have gone with Ian either, and suddenly he realizes how much he’s been pushing him away without meaning to.

He was just getting fucking scared again, scared of everyone knowing, scared of his dad knowing.

They’d been fighting for days, his threats were getting less subtle, and Mickey was running out of excuses to not meet with Svetlana, the whore his dad had apparently rounded up for him.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Mickey’s face is angry and twisted now, “Fucking pussy” he spits at himself.

Ian was right. What the fuck was he waiting for?

He takes a deep breath and steadies himself as he leaves the bathroom, walking down the hallway and gritting his teeth the entire fucking way. If he thinks about it any more, he won’t fucking do it.

He finds Ian’s classroom door and flings it open, Ian and his entire class immediately looking over at him in surprise.

But Mickey doesn’t give a shit about any of them, and he only focuses on the angry redhead in his sights, who’s green eyes widen with shock as he demands, “Will you go to fucking prom with me Gallagher?”

The class falls entirely silent, everyone looking over at him in absolute surprise, Ian too, as his mouth drops open.

He might have at the most thought Mickey would come around somewhat, at least agree to go with him and Mandy maybe and let people think what they thought about him not bringing a date, but he wasn’t going to half ass this anymore. There was no turning back now.

Ian’s cheeks fill with a pink and happy flush as he nods slowly, staring at him like he almost doesn’t recognize him. “Yes” he finally manages to get out, and Mickey sniffs, nodding as he swipes his hand across his narrow nose.

“Good” is all he says, before he turns and leaves the classroom.

By the end of the day, everybody knows.

Mickey Milkovich had burst into Ian Gallagher’s classroom during second period and asked him to prom.

Just like that, the cracks holding their secret have been entirely smashed open, and everybody knows. Mandy finds him at his locker after that same period and just looks at him worriedly for a moment before she says, “Mickey…he’s gonna hear about this. Sooner or later, he’s gonna know”.

Mickey nods, “I know”.

“Why…why would you do that?” she asks, her familiar blue eyes flooded with confusion and concern. Mickey looks at the students walking past him as the hallway fills after the bell, all of their eyes dragging over him with curiosity.

“Because I was going fucking lose him” he answers in annoyance, before he raises an eyebrow at the crowd, all of them thinking they suddenly have a right to fucking stare.

“Yeah I’m taking fucking Gallagher to prom, and if any of you have a fucking problem with that, you can say it to my fucking face!” he yells, challenging all of them at once with his head held high. No one says anything at first, and then to his absolute surprise, he sees Brent in the crowd shaking his head, “No one has a problem with it Mickey”.

“Good” Mickey frowns, before he turns around and slams his locker shut. He’s got enough on his fucking mind right now without wondering why that douche had finally done something half decent.

The crowd slowly starts to get back to their usual pattern of moving about the hallway loudly, and a clearly worried Mandy leaves with them.  

Mickey is starting to feel like he’s underwater right now, like the ground is going to fall out from underneath his feet or something, and he breathes out shakily into his locker, hiding his fearful eyes from everyone walking past.

Until he hears a gentle voice beside himself, belonging to someone who recognizes anxiety more than anyone, speak.

“Hey”.

“Hey” Mickey croaks, clearing his throat loudly as soon as his voice cracks.

Ian’s eyes are watery looking too, and he just shakes his head a little bit, holding his gaze as he promises, “It’s going to be okay. I won’t let him ruin your life anymore Mick. You’re gonna be free now”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So is there gonna be fallout? Yes. But will it end well for our gay heroes? ;) Also yes. So don't panic loves <3  
> I've wanted to write this chapter for fucking months. I will try and get the next chapter up tomorrow before I'm unable to write for a few days.


	85. He Made His Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian, and Mickey especially, deal with the consequences of coming out publicly.

***Ian’s POV***

He couldn’t believe it. He really couldn’t. He had been in shock all throughout his second period class while everyone had stared at him, and even after, right up until he saw Mickey struggling at his locker.

Mickey had come out to everyone at school, shamelessly, when he asked him to prom.

He didn’t even seem to give a fuck about what any of them thought, his only obvious concern now was his fucking dad, and well, Ian couldn’t blame him.

He had told Mickey everything would be okay, but it was a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. How was he supposed to protect Mickey from that?  From Terry?

Would Mickey even let him…?

Ian is relieved when they walk out the front doors of their highschool at the end of the day and Iggy is there, waiting for them in his beat up old car.

Mandy is sitting up front beside him, and it’s pretty clear she must have called and told him what happened by the concerned look on his face.

Ian and Mickey climb into the back seat wordlessly from either side of the car until Iggy turns around to look at his brother dubiously, “You really came out, huh?”

Mickey shrugs as he pulls the car door shut, “Yeah. Whatever, guess so” he says quietly.

Iggy glances over at Ian and then back at his half brother again, “I told you I’d be there for you when the day came man. So… I’m here”. He reaches towards the glove compartment meaningfully and Ian sees the flash of handgun tucked inside of it.

“You think he knows already?” he asks nervously.

Iggy nods, “Most likely. Any Milkovich coming out as gay, especially Mick here, well, that’s gonna spread pretty fast”.

He’s probably right…

Ian’s glad that he’s carrying at least, because Mickey hadn’t in a very long time, leaving his piece at home just in case he got caught for anything so he wouldn’t be charged with possession of a weapon.

Mandy clears her throat, turning in her seat to look at her brother. “Let’s not waste any more time, alright? Let’s go home and get your stuff, before he sets fire to your damn room or something”.

Mickey just nods and Ian feels fucking terrible, sitting there beside him in the backseat. He hadn’t meant to push Mickey like that, he was just mad, but clearly what he had said about being done made Mickey panic, and think he had no other choice but to come out or risk losing him.

He hadn’t been thinking of the permanent repercussions for his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry” he whispers, crawling his hand over the space between them to rest on Mickey’s.

Mickey shakes his head, “Don’t be. You were right. It was never gonna get easier, and it’s time”. He grips Ian’s hand back, squeezing it between his pale and tattooed fingers as he looks out the window. Ian wonders what he’s thinking about.

Iggy pulls up in front of the Milkovich house a short while later, and they all get out of the car together, walking in a group towards the front door.

The house seems eerily quiet, but maybe they had gotten lucky, and he wasn’t home, or didn’t hear the news yet.

Iggy starts to go in first, but Mickey shoves in front of him stubbornly. “Don’t risk your fuckin skull for me” he grunts, and Ian swallows hard as they all go inside, expecting to see a gun aimed right at them.

But there’s no one home.

“Fuck” Mandy sighs in relief, “Alright, let’s go back your shit. Come on”. The four of them pile into Mickey’s bedroom, throwing as much of his stuff into garbage bags, boxes and backpacks as they can.

Ian feels a heavy lump form in his throat as he notices the first thing Mickey grabs to take is the picture of them together on the bus pinned to his wall, followed by a stack of pictures hidden underneath his mattress that make it a _little more_ obvious that they are more than just friends.

“I think that’s everything I need” Mickey finally says, looking around his bedroom one last time, his voice low as he runs through the memories over the years in his head.

But as he turns around to leave, they hear a click, and Ian almost jumps out of his fucking skin as he sees Terry standing there, shaking with rage as he points a pistol at his son.

Before anyone even has a chance to say anything, Iggy raises his own gun in return and Mandy screams.

“Fucking drop it!” Iggy yells over his sister’s screeching, aiming his gun right at his father. Terry doesn’t move an inch, just keeps his own gun trained on Mickey’s head, who stares blankly back at him.

***Mickey’s POV***

Everything feels like it’s in slow motion. Mickey stares into the black hole of a revolver pointed at his head and held by his own father, who is beyond furious.

His hand is trembling, not from sorrow, or regret, but from anger, as his cold eyes burn into Mickey’s with an unspeakable hatred.

Maybe Mickey knew this is how it would end one day. One way or another. He had just hoped he would have a little more time.

He doesn’t risk a glance at Ian, he wants to keep his dad’s focus on him, but he thinks to himself, at least I did right by him. At least he knows I love him.

He slowly becomes aware of Mandy screaming in panic, of Iggy waving his gun, and of Ian yelling around him, but he doesn’t make a sound himself. He just looks.

“I said FUCKING DROP IT!” Iggy shouts again, right as Ian starts to yell “Just fucking shoot him! SHOOT HIM IGGY!” But maybe Iggy still thinks he can talk him out of it, because he blinks back tears as his hand shakes, still aiming but not firing.

“Daddy please don’t do this!” is pouring from Mandy’s mouth repeatedly, but her attempt to sound innocent and small does nothing to warm his cold heart.

“I warned you” Terry says, talking to no one but Mickey, his voice low. “This is your own fault. You made your choice, and you’ll die with it”.

Mickey gazes back at his dad, a strange sense of calm coming over him now as he shrugs.

“Then I’ll die a happy man”.

He closes his eyes, and he hears the gun go off amidst the screaming and yelling, but he doesn’t feel anything. No pain, no bullet searing through his flesh.

In fact, it’s just getting _louder_ …the room is filled with snarling sounds now too, and animal-like screams of pain.

Mickey opens his eyes in confusion, and sees his dad is on the floor now, as Mickey’s large black and white dog is tackling him down, with his sharp teeth sunken into his arm deeply and viciously.

Mo had been locked in his parent’s old bedroom, but must have broken through the old door when he heard the yelling and the panic, and lunged as soon as he saw Terry with a gun aimed at Mickey. He had been trained to protect whoever he thought of as his owner, from any threats of harm during drug runs. To him, this was no different.

As for the gun shot, Terry had misfired the pistol when his arm was yanked down forcefully by the dog’s jaw, and the bullet had gone through a wall instead of through Mickey.

After all Mickey’s wanting for Mo to just be a normal dog, his dad’s want for a guard dog had ended up saving his fucking life.

He feels Ian grabbing at his arm, speaking to him, but he’s not absorbing what he’s saying right now, and he sees Mandy shouting into her phone, but he doesn’t understand what she’s saying either.

It’s just Mo’s snarling and Terry’s bellows of pain as he tries to fight off the enraged and protective animal running through his mind.  

Mickey doesn’t snap out of it until the police arrive, and more guns are pulled before Terry is hauled off the bloody bedroom floor, Iggy finally pulling Mo off of him so he doesn’t get shot for being so aggressive and mindless.

Mickey watches as his dad is cuffed and led away, hollering and fighting the entire time, while Iggy and Mandy explain to another officer what happened. They point to the bullet hole in the wall as proof that Terry had tried to kill Mickey.

And then Ian’s eyes are in front of his own.

“Are you okay?” he asks, gripping Mickey’s arm as he stares into his eyes, his own green ones filled with terrified tears.

“I…yeah” Mickey answers slowly, “I’m fine”.

He is fine. He is better than fine. He survived it. He is out. Him and Ian are out.

Terry knows and Terry is being put away and Terry can’t hurt either of them anymore.

Ian pulls him into a crushing hug that Mandy quickly joins into, the three of them holding each other until Mickey remembers to sink to his knees to thank his loyal dog. “Such a good boy. Such a good dog. You saved me” he repeats, holding Mo’s head steady as he does to make sure he has his attention.

The dog’s brown eyes don’t show what he’s thinking, but his exuberant licking and whining does, eventually dropping to bare his belly to Mickey in submission after his impressive display of aggression.

He was like Mickey, soft and sweet to those he loved, but ready to fucking kill whoever threatened to hurt them.

As Mickey stands again and stares at the bullet hole in the wall, he wonders vaguely if his mother had anything to do with Mo breaking through her old bedroom door.

_*A Few Weeks Later*_

Terry is arrested and soon charged with attempted murder, using the bullet hole in the wall as evidence, with the addition of it being marked as a hate crime after his son came out as gay adding extra time to his indefinite sentence.

He made no effort to mask his hatred during his trial, even spitting in Mickey’s direction with an angry outburst of “Fucking queers!” before he was hauled away. Mickey just threw up his middle finger as he was practically dragged out of the courtroom, and Ian did the same.

Iggy was not charged for possession of a weapon, with intent to kill, as his siblings and Ian testified in his defence as it being present purely for defensive reasons.

He had decided to move into the spare bedroom in the Milkovich home, for Mandy’s sake, because whether Terry was there or not, Mickey knows it’s not his home anymore.

Maybe it never really was.

Fiona tells him he can live with them over the summer, until Ian and him get an apartment together in the fall, so he brings Mo and most of his belongings back to the Gallagher house. Back home.

But even after everything that happened, life doesn’t stop for anyone, and Mickey can’t afford to lose focus at school. Now more than ever, he needs to pass, needs to meet the criteria for his conditional offer to college.

And he had thought everybody at school would at least snicker behind his back, and maybe he’d even have to knock some fucking skulls together when people said shit about him and Ian being gay, but surprisingly, there wasn’t a whole lot of backlash from their classmates.

It seemed like most of them felt a little stupid for not figuring it out earlier, because it made a lot of fucking sense when they actually thought about it.

Mickey had been an absolute loner, and Ian had been a bit of a drifter among friends, until they all of a sudden hit it off on a school trip.

Since that day almost two years ago now, they had always defended each other, and it was rare to ever see one without the other, except for the months that Mickey was in Memphis, when Ian had clearly been deeply depressed at school.

It’s not like everyone was throwing them a fucking parade or anything, far from it, other than some of the girls at school seeming to be unable to help themselves from breaking into shy giggles at the sight of them holding hands or exchanging quick kisses at their lockers.

Mickey had been mad until Mandy had explained that they just thought they were adorable together.

And Ian, Ian was happy. That was the best part of it all. That was all that mattered.

The first time Ian had reached over to hold his hand in the hallway, Mickey had looked over at him uncertainly, holding his gaze until his own fingers stretched out in acceptance.

And when Ian had wanted to kiss him for the first time at school, where anyone could see, he had asked if it was okay, not wanting to push him.

But Mickey hadn’t answered with words, he didn’t need to. He just leaned in and kissed him himself.

They were still pretty reserved at school, and they didn’t throw themselves at each other in the hallways like some of the other couples, mostly just because they still preferred the privacy of their secret spot underneath the highschool bleachers at lunch.

But Ian could hold his hand now, and did when he wanted to, and Mickey didn’t push him away. He stopped flinching when Ian went in to kiss him after a few days, and he stopped having mild feelings of panic whenever people looked at them together, knowing what they were.

He started feeling proud.

He started loving Ian more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all that drama, you can all breathe a sigh of relief now. Terry's sorry ass is in jail and he ain't getting out :)


	86. You Are Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey worry about exams and go to prom together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy

***Ian’s POV***

Ian’s older brother Lip had made an effort to come home for the past couple of weekends to sit with both Ian and Mickey, and Mickey especially, to go over their assignments and study notes in greater detail to make sure they were absolutely grasping everything.

He had even offered to write one of Mickey’s English essays for him, but Mickey had surprisingly flat out refused. Ian had been confused until Mickey adamantly declared that if he didn’t do it himself, then he didn’t fucking earn his place at college.

It was a good point.

And after almost two years of being together, Ian was yet again basking in the glow of what it was like to be part of a new couple. They weren’t a new couple, far from it, but they were to most people, and it carried a certain extra weight… everyone seeing them together.

It was nice. Really nice. He could kiss Mickey when he wanted to, even at school, and he hadn’t once heard Mickey say, _“Do you know what that looks like?”_

He’d never hear it again.

He’s laying in his bed with Mickey one night, resting his head against the crook of his arm, when he asks shyly, “Are we still going to prom together next Friday?”

Mickey looks surprised at the question, and he arches his eyebrow down at him. “Yeah? Unless you don’t want to?” Ian quickly shakes his head, “No, I do! I just wanted to make sure.”

“Okay good, cause I already bought the fuckin tickets” Mickey smirks, “Not like it was all you talked about for a solid week when the posters went up or anything”.

“Prom is kind of a big fucking deal Mickey” Ian says in his defence, but his boyfriend just shakes his head and laughs. “Whatever you say red. Just happy I’m going with you”.

Ian smiles, settling back into their restful watching of a tv show together on his phone until he remembers and asks, “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“I work in the morning, remember? But I’m done around two” Mickey tells him, and Ian nods, remembering his very early start tomorrow morning. “Why?” Mickey then asks.

“Well… I have a doctor’s appointment at the three. With the psychiatrist. I was wondering if you’d go with me” Ian says quietly, and he feels Mickey kiss his forehead in response.

“Course I will”.

It’s very different being in the doctor’s office this second time around with Mickey. As they sit in the waiting room together, Ian isn’t nervous this time, and he’s not embarrassed either. Mickey is flipping through a magazine in his lap with one hand, and the other is resting on Ian’s thigh, letting him hold it for support.

They go in together when Dr. Morrow calls out Ian’s name, and she smiles approvingly at the sight of them together, clearly remembering their last visit together.

“Well Ian, it’s a pleasure to see you again. Although, we weren’t due for another medication review for another month or so. Is something wrong…?”

Ian shakes his head as Mickey looks over at him in worry, “No. Nothing’s wrong. That’s why I’m here actually…I…” Ian reaches into his backpack and slowly takes out the bottle of his daily anti-depressants/anti-anxiety pills.

“I don’t need these anymore” he says, putting the bottle on her desk.

Mickey looks over at him in surprise, “You didn’t say-“

Ian cuts him off, but is looking at his doctor as he speaks firmly, “I know it probably seems like it’s out of nowhere, but I’ve been doing so much better for almost a year now and I’ll still keep the emergency ones for if I have panic attacks or whatever, but I don’t need the happy pills anymore”.

Ian looks over at Mickey before he adds, “Because I am happy”.

His doctor finally nods, “Well Ian, you have been improving. I can’t deny that. I think a lot of it is due to you, and the work you put in, and I’m happy to see that. Happy for both of you. You can discontinue the medication, but you can’t just stop it all at once, or you will feel very sick. We will wean you off the dosage over the next week, okay?”

Ian nods, smiling a _real_ smile as he agrees.

“Okay”.

***Mickey’s POV***

After successfully coming off of his meds, Ian asks Mickey to take him out for a drive to the bluffs, and Mickey of course agrees. He thinks it’s just for a date night or whatever, the two of them hanging out under the stars the night before prom, or maybe fucking in the grass, but he quickly realizes there’s more to it when Ian takes his pill bottle out from his backpack.

Ian looks at them for a moment in his hand, and Mickey stays silent, wondering what he’s thinking, if maybe he’s changed his mind.

But Ian stands and unscrews the cap with determination, looking down at the water before he turns back to look at him, his face serious.

“Thanks for loving me when I was on these. Hopefully you can put up with me while I’m off them”.

Mickey smiles, getting off the ground to go stand beside him. “I loved you before them, I loved you during them, and I’ll fucking love you after them man. Do it Ian”.

With that, Ian flings the bottle out over the cliff, watching the leftover pills spray out from it and fall, down, down, deep into the dark water.

Mickey curls a protective arm around his boyfriend’s side, letting Ian rest his head on his shoulder as they look out over the water together. He’d be lying if he told himself he wasn’t a little nervous about Ian stopping his medication, but he’d done it the right away at least, and he seemed sure of his decision.

All he could do was support him, and make sure he stayed happy.

Even though the two of them get ready for their prom together the next night in the same room, Fiona comes up with the “brilliant” idea of having Mickey go outside so he can “pick up” Ian for the dance for real this time.

Honestly, Mickey thinks it’s a little dumb, but Ian looks so excited that he agrees to it without a second thought.

He treks down the stairs in his suit, readjusting his jacket before he winks at Fiona and heads outside, giving himself enough time to have a smoke and think before he rings the doorbell.

Here he was, going to his own fucking prom. With a guy. With Ian.

And he’s actually fucking excited about it. Maybe it’s contagious, Ian’s excitement. Maybe he just loves him. Who the fuck knows. But he’s fucking doing this, and he’s doing it right.

***Ian’s POV***

Ian waits inside with all his siblings, who keep craning their necks, waiting to hear Mickey knock at the door like Fiona had told him to. Lip’s standing beside him, also in a tux, but he’s sporting a more casual blue dress shirt underneath it, while Ian went with classic white and a bowtie.

Lip’s grad and prom had been last year, but Mandy had decided she _also_ wanted to take a Gallagher to prom, which she was still allowed to attend even without graduating, and Mickey had begrudgingly said it was okay. As long as Lip didn’t put his fuckin hands on his sister.

Ian thinks that’s wishful thinking, knowing both Mandy and his brother, but he doesn’t say that of course. Whether Mickey likes it or not, as long as Mandy wants to, he doesn’t see a problem with it himself.

The knock at the door finally comes, an impatient rap of knuckles against wood, and Debbie runs over to answer the door in excitement.

Ian feels an uncontrollable grin spread over his face as he sees Mickey standing there, trying to control his own smile as he coughs shyly into his hand. “I’m uh, here to pick up your brother”.

He looks amazing, dressed all in black, his blue eyes are sharper than ever.

Fiona lets out a sound that a strange mixture of disbelief that this moment is actually happening, and happiness that it is.

“Right here babe” Lip jokes, and that brings the mood right back to laughter, Mickey grinning as he flips him off before coming to stand by Ian’s side.

Ian leans in to whisper in his ear, “Think I like you best when you’re dressed in black from head to toe. Think I like you best when you’re just with me and no one else”.

Mickey’s dark eyebrows come together in confusion before he whispers back, “That a fucking song or are you writing poetry about me now Gallagher?”

“Song” Ian grins, turning to smile at Fiona as she lifts her camera. “Damn” Mickey answers. There’s no hiding what they are this time around, and after all the group photos, she takes a candid one of them holding hands, and another with their arms around each other’s sides.

Lip brings them each a beer to shotgun carefully before they head out, but instead of getting in the car Iggy had showed up in to drive them all to the school, Mickey pauses at his motorcycle. He looks up at Ian, “What do you think Gallagher?”

“I think we should do it, but let’s skip the helmets tonight. For our hair’s sake. I didn’t spend a half hour gelling it for nothing” Ian smirks, getting on the bike behind his boyfriend, who’s just shaking his dark head in amusement. “Alright, we’ll tail behind Iggy then”.

They drive through the night together, Ian holding Mickey close as he drives carefully behind his brother’s old Hatchback, and then slamming his horn in annoyance when he sees Lip kissing his sister in the backseat.

“Let em be!” Ian laughs from behind him, letting the wind run through his red hair as he tosses his head back. Mickey stops honking but shakes his head, and when they park at the school he just quickly says, “Gonna pretend I didn’t fucking see that”.

Ian takes his slightly sweaty hand in his own and they walk up to the school together, signing in at the front desk before they are allowed to go into the gym.

Their school had obviously stepped it up for prom, putting much more effort in for the decorations and a little more effort in supervision, but Ian notices Mickey reaching for his flask a lot less often this time.

This time, they know people are looking at them while they dance together, but the space in between them isn’t so wide anymore, and Mickey finally lets Ian touch him, running his hand down his chest as they dance together in the hot gym.

Their cheeks are flushed as they go in for a more passionate kiss underneath the flashing lights, the loud and pumping music making their hearts beat ever harder. Ian holds Mickey’s face close to his own, opening and closing his mouth over and over again, only pulling away when he feels himself getting hard.

Mickey grins at him, raising a dark eyebrow at the crotch of his pants, and Ian rolls his eyes, pointing at his own.

They can barely hear each other over the loud music, but after a couple hours Mickey manages to convey that he’s going to the bathroom, and that he’ll be back. Ian thinks about following him, but one of his favorite songs to dance to comes on, and when Mandy grabs his hand to drag him back onto the dance floor, he doesn’t protest.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey goes to the bathroom and undoes the top button of his shirt after he takes a piss, loosening it a bit around his neck to cool down. The gym is hot as balls, and dancing in June heat in a full suit with shitty air conditioning isn’t helping much.

He hears someone come in behind him, and when he turns around he sees a couple guys from his grade staring at him, and the look on their faces isn’t friendly. It’s mocking, and Mickey immediately raises his eyebrow sharply.

“The fuck you looking at?”

“Apparently South Side’s biggest faggot” one of them laughs, his friend slapping him on the shoulder, “Remember playing football with those two, and Ian trying to like, cuddle him on the damn field? Hey Mick, who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher?”

The two of them laugh obnoxiously, and Mickey joins in like he thinks it’s funny too for just a second, before catching them both off guard as he slams his knee into one of their groins, and his fist into the other’s throat, sending both of them straight the ground groaning in pain.

Mickey brushes off his black jacket as he looks at them for a moment thoughtfully, still groping at themselves in pain.

“When someone asks who beat the shit out of you, make sure you tell them it was the Southside’s biggest faggot” he says, sneering as he leaves the bathroom.

When he goes back inside the gym, he sees they’ve gotten to the slow dancing point of the evening, and then he notices Ian standing back by himself against the wall, watching the couples dance. Mickey’s mind involuntarily flashes back to the dance last year, when Ian had been standing in almost the exact same place, broken hearted about not being able to even dance close to him.

Mickey bites his lip at the memory, feeling guilty, and he thinks for just a moment before he heads over to the DJ’s booth, who turns to hear what he’s saying over the music.

“You take requests?”

“Yeah of course. Long as it’s a slow set, that’s what I’m scheduled to do for the next little bit”.

“Cool. Uh, good. Don’t say it was me, but put on _You are Free_ , okay? Jimmy Eat World” Mickey says, brushing his hand across his nose in embarrassment. He’d never live it down if the school knew he was requesting a song for him and Ian to slow dance to, but he still wanted to do it. For Ian.

“Got it man”.

Mickey heads over to where Ian is still standing at the wall, who smiles happily at the sight of him. “You took longer than I thought you would. Thought maybe you were trying to get out of the slow dance” he says teasingly.

Mickey shakes his head, “No. C’mere”. He stretches out his arm, and Ian takes his hand, heading back over to the dance floor with him, clearly surprised by his sincerity. Mickey waits until the previous songs’ last notes end, before he nods and puts his hands on Ian’s sides when the DJ announces _You Are Free_ is playing by request next.

“This one’s for you” he says quietly, Ian leaning in like he didn’t hear as he holds him back. “This song?”

_Riddles keep me up at night, A lonely feeling to be understood. You told me often how it was, But I wasn't ready to hear it so plain._

Mickey nods. “I know it wasn’t easy man, hiding like that for almost two years. I never meant to hurt you, I was just scared and shit. I guess what I’m trying to fucking say is that… I’m sorry I didn’t… that I didn’t…”

“Come out sooner?” Ian offers helpfully.

_Amazing, the effort we put in. Amazing, the emotional bridges, tunnels, roads, and ways. We go around what's one step from our face._

“Yeah” Mickey breathes out, watching Ian’s face soften as he listens to the song. “Mickey…if we didn’t go through all that shit…we wouldn’t be this”. He points between the two of them as they slowly sway together on the spot, “…We wouldn’t be us”.

_Everyone has their opinions, But I'm the one that's gotta walk it. So much fear to get over, And so much pain to get past. Wish there was an easy way through._

“And I fucking love _us_. You did it Mick, and you’ll never know how much it means to me, how much you gave up and how much you risked for this. It was worth it though”.

Mickey nods as they lean in closer to each other, holding each other tighter as they slow dance together at their prom, feeling so much like he did that night in his living room. Like there was no one else there.

But this time, this time there was no more pretending, and no more hiding.

_I think we've paid enough…_

_Honey, you are free, as much as you can stand to be.  
You are free. And it's anything you think that means. You are free, to be who you want, what you need, yeah, who you want. _

_What you need, baby, you are free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When people in the fandom say oh Mickey wouldn't do this or Mickey wouldn't do that, well, we also didn't think he would ever admit to loving Ian, coming out in front of an entire bar for him, or breaking out of prison for him. So really, we don't know what Mickey would do :) Personally I think he's capable of just about anything <3
> 
> P.S That's a great song and it seemed fitting :)


	87. It's All Uphill From Here Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey share a classic prom night. The boys graduate from high school, against all odds.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey had moved out of his old bedroom in the derelict Milkovich house weeks ago, but with Terry locked up in prison and Mandy and Iggy still at the prom, it seemed like the simplest place to take Ian for absolute privacy. And that’s all they wanted right now.

To be with each other, be _in_ each other.

After their slow dance together, they had quickly agreed to ditch the fucking prom and find some place to be alone.

After parking his motorcycle on the front lawn of his old home with a hum, Ian and Mickey walk across the dewy grass quickly and impatiently as almost a solid unit, because they can barely keep their hands off of each other.

Mickey’s ears and skin prick sensitively at the sound of Ian’s incoherent mumbles into his needy mouth and against his hot neck, but he’s too far gone to bother questioning what he’s actually fucking saying.

They slam the front door shut behind themselves the moment they are inside, pulling the chain link across the door afterwards with fumbling hands to keep any Milkovich siblings from possibly showing up and interrupting them.

“I want you so fucking bad” Ian finally manages to get out clearly, pushing Mickey into his old bedroom as he struggles to shrug off his black dress jacket without letting go of him.

“Have me” Mickey groans back, ripping his own off much less ceremoniously as he tips his chin upwards towards Ian.  

Right now, he doesn’t give a fuck about keeping the jacket in good condition, and he throws it onto the floor beside Ian’s just before they edge up onto the bed, lips still coming together while shaking fingers pull at buttons and zippers.

As soon as his chest is bared, Mickey feels Ian’s face move away from his own and down towards his pecs, kissing between them and then down, steadily and almost reverently.

By the time he reaches his soft treasure trail, Mickey is breathing more heavily, while simultaneously fighting his urge to flip Ian down onto the bed and make him go faster, because he wants to let both of them enjoy this moment of intimacy.

He closes his blue eyes as Ian’s travelling mouth finally makes its way to his stiff and swollen cock, impatiently hard after being teased for practically the last couple hours, including the dance where Ian had been openly touching him. He can feel Ian tearing his dress pants and shoes off of them and hears them hit the floor.  

“I love seeing you in a suit” Ian suddenly mumbles, and Mickey opens his blue eyes again to gaze down at him.

“Like taking me out of one better though, don’t you Gallagher?”

Ian nods, and Mickey taps the side of his cheek gently, “Let me go down on you for a bit”. Ian gets up and lays across Mickey’s old bed, stroking himself as Mickey repositions himself to lean up to it.

Taking Ian’s dick in his mouth, Mickey tastes the precum that already had been dribbling down him just from going down on him.

Frankly, it’s hot as fuck, and he hears himself moan without thinking as he takes him deeper, Ian groaning in response from above him.

Mickey has only been blowing him for a minute or two when Ian runs a hand down over his back affectionately, “Not sure how much more teasing I can take Mick, gonna blow my load if I don’t get in you soon”.

That’s like fucking music to Mickey’s ears, and he pulls off and wipes his wet lips across the back of his arm before he leans down to kiss Ian again heatedly.

From the way Ian is placing his large hands on his hips, subtly trying to move him on top of him strategically, Mickey knows what he wants, but he decides to ask anyways, just because he loves how deep and throaty Ian’s voice gets when he’s trying not to fall to pieces underneath him.

“Want me to ride you?”

“Mmm” Ian confirms appreciatively.

Mickey spits into his palm generously a couple times and rubs his hand down over Ian’s stiff cock, not wanting to waste any time looking for an old and forgotten bottle of lube he may or may not have left behind when he moved out.

Besides, he thinks, as Ian slowly breaches his hole, he’s in control of the fucking now anyways.

They don’t usually ride each other, mostly because because it takes more effort than simple doggy style or missionary, but there’s something undeniably sexy about watching Ian being ridden, just holding onto him and taking his thrusts downwards with an expression of extreme lust.

“Like that?” Mickey grunts, grinding his hips down a little more as he steadily lowers himself up and down on Ian, each time working himself closer to his own orgasm.

“Fuck…yes…” Ian says, moving his head across the flattened pillow as his eyes start to glaze a bit, “Let me fuck you. I’m gonna cum”.

Mickey lifts himself on Ian’s thighs enough for him to do just that, “Go for it man”.

Ian grabs onto hips again, not to support him, but to guide him, as he fucks into him hard, slamming him into him repeatedly as Mickey’s own cock flops from the impact.

He puts as much effort as he can into fucking Ian back, but puts more attention towards his own cock, that had neglected by Ian as he had been lost in his own reverie.

Jerking himself hard, his muscles tensed and his arm shaking as he does, Mickey finally lets out a rush of air from between his lips as he pumps himself over Ian’s chest, ribboning it with his hot cum.

“Fuck yeah” Ian gasps as he watches, and Mickey feels him spilling inside of him before he’s even done himself.

Ian continues to drive into him, only slowing down when he finally goes soft and lets Mickey slowly and carefully climb off of him.

Mickey goes into his old bathroom and wipes himself up a bit while Ian stays on the bed, catching his breath, but Mickey brings him a wad of toilet paper to wipe down his chest. “Thanks” Ian pants, tossing it in a ball to the floor when he’s done.

After they cool down a bit, but are still laying there naked beside each other, Ian turns to eye him with a fair question, “Sleep here tonight or go home?”

Mickey shrugs honestly before he leans down to kiss him, “I’m with you. Doesn’t matter where we go”.

***Ian’s POV***

Ian had never really fully bought into the ‘amazing’ prom experiences he always saw on tv or in magazines, but he’d been lying if he said he hadn’t been at least intrigued by them, even more so over the past couple years as him and Mickey fell more and more in love.

It wouldn’t have felt right, going to prom without him as his date after all they had been through together in highschool. And he had gotten all that and even more.

Ian was still on cloud nine days after prom, even as him and Mickey went in to write their final exams. Unless Ian absolutely bombed his exams, he wasn’t in any danger of losing his acceptance, but Mickey had a lot more riding on these final tests in highschool, because his offer had only been conditional.

It was for that reason that Ian didn’t take it to heart when just a couple days after prom Mickey started getting more stressed out, more irritable, and starting chain smoking like there was no fucking tomorrow, but he was always hunched down over a textbook while he did, muttering to himself.

“Just fuckin…just gotta fuckin do this…” he’d keep saying, and Ian would glance over but pretend he didn’t hear his worried muttering as he revised over his own books, sipping on Sprite or the occasional beer as he did.

They fucked quietly the night before their exams, Mickey lying beneath Ian much more complacently than he ever normally did, and even though he came, it was clear his mind was elsewhere most of the time.

“It’s gonna be fine” Ian whispered against his forehead that night, before they went to sleep beside each other, crammed into his small bed. Mickey nodded, but in the morning he still looked pretty nauseas as they walked together to school, just like they always had.

“Hey, this is the last time we’ll ever walk to highschool together” Ian had mused out loud thoughtfully, and Mickey finally looked over at him with a different expression on his strained face, some of the lines smoothening as he reached out for Ian’s hand.

It’s sweaty and hot by the time they get to the school, but Ian doesn’t let go until he absolutely has to, giving him a quick kiss before they go to their own separate places in the gym to write their exams.

Ian finds his own exams challenging as he writes, sure, but he’s more worried about Mickey than himself at this point.

His boyfriend has a habit of flipping out when he’s under a lot of stress, and Ian keeps thinking he’ll hear a bellowed _FUCK_ at some point from across the gym, and then see a table being flipped before Mickey storms out of the room.

But throughout the morning and then noon, there is just the scratching of pencils, the rubbery sound of erasers being dragged across papers, and the occasional cough or sneeze from another student in the room.

Ian finally signs his last exam with a relieved sigh, sliding it onto the table where his teacher is waiting at the front of the room, who smiles at him. “It was a pleasure as always having you in my class Mr. Gallagher, best of luck to you next year”.

“Thanks” Ian smiles back, but when he chances a glance back at where Mickey is sitting, he sees him watching him getting ready to leave, a look of strained panic on his face.

“ _You’re okay”_ Ian quickly mouths, “ _You got this”,_ before he has to leave the classroom.

He waits out front of the school, biting his nails and checking his phone periodically, and turning around quickly every time the door opens with another student leaving, entering into their freedom from high school.

Finally, after what seems like ages, Mickey comes out, looking exhausted but relieved, his face cracking into a smile as he sees him waiting there.

“You’re done!” Ian tells him, Mickey smirking a bit as he walks down to join him on the stairs. “Yeah. We both are”.

“How do you think you did?” Ian asks carefully.

“Dunno man. Have to wait a week to know if we passed and shit right? Gonna try and not think about it until then” Mickey says thoughtfully, digging in his pocket for a cigarette.

Ian hands him a lighter, “Think I can help with that”.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah”.

The little smile and the twitch of an eyebrow on Mickey’s face tells Ian it’s gonna be a fun week.

***Mickey’s POV***

**Two Weeks Later**

Fuck.

Mickey takes a deep breath as he stares into the old and slightly cracked bathroom mirror, searching his own face, which seems less familiar than it used to.

Maybe it was because he never used to care so much about shit, or actually get nervous about stuff that mattered.

Maybe because before Ian Gallagher, nothing really did.  

He hears a knock at the door, and then a familiar voice. “You good Mick?”

Mickey clears his throat, “Yup. Just a second”. He straightens the graduation cap on his head, and shakes off the feeling of discomfort at wearing the long blue gown. He’d rather burn that shit than wear it, but hey, what could he do? He was here, and he made it, and he had to take everything that came with that.

Ian’s waiting for him just outside the bathroom door, his own blue gown making his pale skin pop more than ever, and his freckles seem to be especially visible around his wide grin today.

There’s no hiding his happiness, or his pride, and Mickey smiles despite himself at the sight of it.

“C’mon, let’s go” Ian urges, pulling him into the hallway with the rest of the grads. It’s weird being here among them, in a place he never thought he’d be. Mickey’s not quite sure if he should let himself feel proud about that or not.

He’s not beside Ian in the line, or in their seating arrangements, because it’s alphabetical, but he can see the back of his red head from where he’s sitting in a row further back. He listens to the announcements and speeches as patiently as he can, eventually tracing over his finger tattoos in boredom to pass the time.

There’s only one point in the ceremony that eventually grabs his attention, and it’s when a familiar redhead is walking across the stage once “Ian Gallagher” is called out. They had been told to hold their applause, but fuck that, Mickey stand up and yells _“Fuck yeah Gallagher!”_ the second he reaches the podium, and as if on cue, the rest of the Gallaghers in the audience are yelling similar shouts of encouragement.

Ian grins and waves at them as he shakes the principals hand, taking his degree as the principal calls out like she did for every other student, “Ian Gallagher will be attending Malcolm X College in the fall in the EMT program. Best of luck Ian”.

As Ian heads back to his seat and the line of students continues to be called up and acknowledged, Mickey feels the grin slide from his face as his heart thuds a little more nervously in his chest. He felt like people would fuckin laugh, seeing him up there.

A Milkovich among the grads, because didn’t belong there. When “ _Mikhailo Milkovich_ ” is called, he freezes. He doesn’t move right away, just sits there clenching his fists, until he sees Ian stand up a couple rows ahead of him and start whooping, “Get it Mick! Fuck yeah!”

Mickey swallows hard and shifts down the row until he finds himself walking up to the stage, all eyes on him as he approaches the principal.

He strides like he’s confident as fuck, but his heart is pounding unsteadily until he looks over at Ian again, and sees him smiling at him. He gives him a nod, and just like that, Mickey knows this is where he’s supposed to be.

He accepts the principal’s handshake, who still looks a little surprised that he’s up there, but he just grins back, raising an eyebrow challengingly as she calls out, “Mikhalio-I’m sorry _, Mickey_ Milkovich, will be attending the Police Department Training Academy of Chicago for Police Foundations in the fall”.

When she mutters something under her breath about standards, Mickey simply snatches the diploma from her hand and flips her off, a still audible gasp heard from the audience over the insane cheering of Ian and the rest of the Gallaghers, Mandy, Iggy, and even Kevin and V who had shown up to watch him and Ian graduate.

Mickey laughs obnoxiously as he bounds back down to his seat, the principal as ever rolling her eyes and choosing to ignore him, and after the last student graduates, and all the students pack together and flip the tassles on their caps, Ian finds Mickey just before the caps are thrown into the air.

As the blue caps rain down around them, Ian kisses him while holding his face. “We did it Mick. You graduated, I graduated. It’s all uphill from here man. You ready to go out with the family for dinner?”

Mickey bites his lip. The celebratory dinner had been planned for a while, and he was more than ready to leave this gym and the assloads of people in it he didn’t care about now that he was graduated, but there was something he felt he needed to do first.

“Yeah…but before that, I need to go see someone”.

 

**********************

P.S This is sort of how I pictured them looking at prom :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their time in highschool is coming to an end, but the fic is not over yet :) I’ll give a heads up when there’s only a few chapters left, but as of yet I don’t have anything written past the last posted chapter so it’s still open and there's a lot I want to cover before I wrap it up.
> 
> Also, I wanted to thank KBridgette for making a Spotify playlist for this fic with all the songs mentioned, it’s super cool! If you want to listen: https://open.spotify.com/user/kristenbridgette/playlist/5EPduzGCD4SqPT9Z9eNZpg
> 
> You guys are awesome! <3


	88. The Past, The Present, The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey decides to give Terry a piece of his mind while he's in jail.

***Ian’s POV***

Mickey going to see his dad in prison was difficult for him. Not because he was emotional about it or anything, he’d spent enough time in juvie himself to know that the prick was getting exactly what he deserved, but because Terry just flat out refused to see him.

He turned and left the visitation area phones the very second he saw it was Mickey sitting there and waiting, who became visibly annoyed as he watched his back disappear.

“Can you make him come back? I need to fucking tell him something” he says, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he raises an eyebrow at the prison guard standing nearby.

Ian hesitates before he looks over at the prison guard too, one who was familiar with Terry’s arrest details because he couldn’t be housed near any homosexual inmates without causing them harm.

Ian had tried to deter Mickey from doing this heavily, but he was adamant about coming here to show his dad that he _did_ graduate, that he _was_ going somewhere in life, while Terry would sit there and rot in prison.

Understandable, but a pain in the ass for sure.

The guard shakes his head, “I can’t make him use the phone man, I’d have to hold him down and shit, can’t do that. But I could…well, I don’t know”.

“What? What could you do?” Ian asks, noticing the look of bitter disappointment cross over his boyfriend’s face.

“There are private visitation rooms that don’t require the phone. Prisoner sits on one side of the glass and visitor on the other. It’s a very bare room, and there’s nowhere for him to go. He’d uh, have to hear what you’re saying. But you can’t reach each other or anything like that”.

The guard’s offer immediately has Mickey raising his eyebrows, “I want to do that then”.

The guard scratches the back of his neck less than subtly, “Well, I don’t know. I could get in trouble you know, letting you use that room…” he trails off pointedly.

“Oh fuck off, how much you want?” Mickey snaps, taking out his wallet and rolling out some bills. He keeps going until the guard finally nods and quickly pockets the cash, telling them to wait there until he comes back for them.

“Are you sure about this Mick? I doubt he’s gonna come around and say he’s proud of you or something like that” Ian says nervously as the guard disappears down the hall, but Mickey just rolls his eyes.

“I don’t want to hear that he’s fucking proud. I wanna see him pissed off and stuck in here, unable to do anything about it. I want it to fucking eat him alive”.

“Am I supposed to go in with you?” Ian asks, looking at the guard doubtfully as he approaches them again a few minutes later. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just hang back while I talk to the prick” Mickey says, immediately getting up to follow the guard as he waves them down the hall.

“Got ten minutes, alright? Then you gotta leave” the guard warns, “And try and keep it civil”.

“Yeah, yeah” Mickey answers, pushing past him into the visitation room. Ian enters just behind him, and the first thing he sees other than their side of the concrete room is an extremely agitated Terry on the other side of the glass.

Clearly, he had figured out what the arrangement was about.

He snarls at the sight of them, and while Ian hangs back at the wall like he was told to, Mickey walks right up to the glass, Terry advancing at the same time like he could fight him through the clear barrier.

“Fucking faggot. You’re no son of mine. If I could reach through this I’d strangle you so-“

“Yeah well you fucking can’t asshole. So you’re gonna sit there and listen to what I have to fucking say” Mickey sneers, while Terry reddens even further. He’s pacing now, looking for a way out from the room that doesn’t exist.

It’s strange how, when he can’t reach out to punch him and shut him up, he looks like he’s almost scared of whatever Mickey could say.

“I graduated today. I graduated from highschool, and I’m going to college” Mickey says firmly, and Terry looks over in surprise before he can catch himself, “Bullshit” he says uncertainly. He’d been so absent, and so careless, that he had barely noticed the changes in his son’s behavior over the past two years.

Mickey holds up his diploma against the glass, pointing a tattooed finger at it, “Read it and weep bitch. I’m going, and I’m going to be a fucking cop. Take care of assholes like you”.

Terry laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. “Assholes like me? Fucking look at yourself Mickey. Are you looking at me through that glass, or are you looking at your own damn reflection”.   

Mickey flinches at the insinuation and Ian almost says something, but his boyfriend quickly catches himself before any emotion plays across his face.

“That was the fucking past. I’m different now. But I just wanted you to know, while you sit here and rot, I’ll be out there. I’ll be going to college, doing everything you said I couldn’t. And I’m gonna be doing it with Ian. So go fuck yourself”.

Terry glances back towards where Ian is still leaning against the back wall quietly and his expression quickly shifts to a more angry one again as he raises his voice, “You-“

Mickey just blurts out over him, “I’m fucking him. I’ve been fucking him for two goddamn years, in _your_ house too, just so you know. And there’s nothing you can fuckin do about it, because I _love him_ ”.

Terry slams his ham like fists into the glass barrier while he yells about killing both of them but Mickey just spits back at him, his viscous saliva trailing down the glass as he flips him off.

The guard quickly comes into the room at the sound of raised voices and shakes his head at them, “Alright, alright. That’s enough. Didn’t say you were gonna make a fucking mess for me to clean up. Time for you to go”.

Mickey nods, dragging his arm across his nose as he sniffs angrily, “Fine. I’m done anyways”. The guard leads him out easily, but Ian hesitates before he leaves too, looking back at the now heavily panting Terry. He’d heard the rumors about Mickey, and that was enough to confirm his suspicions, but hearing the words come out of his actual son’s mouth clearly disturbed him a lot more.

He looks up uncertainly as Ian approaches the window.

“Mickey is ten times the man you’ll ever be” Ian says simply, before he turns and walks away.

He doesn’t wait to see Terry’s expression, or his reaction, but part of him wonders if that rage he’s always had stems from him knowing that’s the truth. By the age of nineteen, Mickey had already accomplished more than he ever had in over forty years. And there was still so much more to come, Ian truly believed that.

***Mickey’s POV***

“Where the fuck were you?” Mickey grumbles as soon as he sees Ian come outside, even though he was only a minute or two behind.

His boyfriend just shrugs, “I dropped my phone, went back for it”.

He sits down beside Mickey on the concrete steps of the prison, and without saying anything, pulls his head towards him to kiss his dark locks. Mickey softens underneath his touch, the anger leaving his body with a brief shudder as he leans against Ian for a moment.

“Sorry I made us late, but I needed to do that” he explains quietly, checking the time on his phone. They were supposed to be at the restaurant thirty minutes ago, where the Gallaghers and his siblings and Kev and V were all waiting for them.

Ian shakes his head, “No, I’m glad you did”. He doesn’t say why, but Mickey doesn’t need to ask. It was cathartic, showing Terry up like that. It felt good, really fucking good, and he feels a smile forming on his face as he pictures his dad’s angry expression again.

He hears himself laughing, and he shakes his head, relief and a strange sense of freedom flooding through his body as Ian grins too, putting his arm around his shoulders while they walk together towards his motorcycle.

“Fuck him” he says firmly, grinning around his cigarette as he revs the engine. “Fuck him” Ian agrees, flipping his visor down.

They drive together to the restaurant, and Mickey does take some shortcuts to try and make up for lost time, but they are still forty minutes late.

Fiona surprisingly doesn’t give them shit when they walk inside, and he realizes Ian must have said something to her about where they were.

Sneaky…he glances over at Ian, who just grins innocently before he goes to one of the empty seats at the table, Mickey quickly sliding in beside him.

“Finally, I’m fucking starving” Carl moans.

“It’s a fucking buffet, why didn’t you start before we got here” Mickey shoots back, but Carl just looks accusingly at Fiona who shrugs, “We ARE celebrating you two grads, figured we should wait for you guys”.

“Fuck, sorry” Mickey mutters, but no one sees annoyed as they all get up and carry their plates over to the tables filled with dishes on top of hot plates.

Mickey glances around, raising his eyebrows at various dishes until he finds the steaks and wings, loading his plate up with the expensive stuff and his favorites. He’s starving after getting out all that toxic shit that had been swimming in his head for years.

“Oh come on Ian, fucking spaghetti? You can make that shit at home” he says, pointing a spatula at his boyfriend’s plate disapprovingly after he takes a look.  

“I like spaghetti” Ian says defensively, but he’s a little choosier about what he puts on his plate after that. Not like it really matters anyways, he can really fucking put it away and he refills his plate at least twice more before everyone is moving on to dessert.

Mickey is absolutely stuffed, but his sweet tooth doesn’t give a shit about that, and he grabs a couple extra brownies to wrap in a napkin and put in his pocket for later too.  

“Well, I think it’s time we just say how proud we are of you two. Don’t worry guys, no big speech here” Fiona laughs, looking at the mutual expressions of _please no_ on their faces, “But uh, congratulations guys”.

Fiona starts a little clap and the rest of the table joins in, Lip slamming out a beat on the table’s surface while Liam cheers. Ian turns to beam at Mickey, and leans to give him a quick kiss, grinning with pride before his family quiets down again.

“So what’s the plan guys?” Lip asks after a while, still working on a piece of red velvet cake that he is obviously too full for.

Mickey just slides the plate towards himself to finish it while Lip rolls his eyes and Ian answers for the both of them, “Well…I don’t know. Rob and Camille’s wedding is in a couple weeks. So there’s that…and then working I guess, before we start looking for an apartment”.

Mickey swallows his cake, “Yeah, it’s only two months of summer though, so we’ll probably get looking right after the trip to Memphis, if that’s cool with you Ian”.

“Yeah of course” Ian smiles, and Mickey realizes again how excited he is about moving in with him. The thought causes a warm flush in his stomach too, even though they technically have already been living together off and on for a long time.

It was different though, moving out into their own place together instead of just sharing a bed at either one’s house. It was a commitment, a big one, even though Mickey generally didn’t like that word.

Committing made it sound too much like this was something he _had_ to do, and it wasn’t.

It was something he wanted to do. Just like taking Ian to Memphis as his date was something he _wanted_ to do. He was kinda excited for Camille and Rob to meet Ian, Rob especially.

He knew they were very curious about him, Rob had eventually told Camille what he knew after Mickey left. He didn’t care once he was out at home anyways, and he didn’t think she would treat him any differently either now that she knew he was gay. Rob hadn’t.

“Are you taking the Enduro to Memphis?” Lip asks, motioning with his head to see if they want to join him outside for a smoke.

Following him out the door, Mickey shakes his head, “Fuck no. We’d be sore for days, it’s a long trip. We’re just gonna take the bus”.

“Anddd we are going horseback riding, so we can’t have sore asses for that” Ian says teasingly as he holds out a cigarette for him. Lip raises his eyebrows at them in surprise, “Horseback riding?”

Mickey grunts as he puts it in his mouth, “Wedding’s at a ranch”. He has absolutely no intentions of getting on an animal big enough to trample him to death, and Ian damn well knows that.

But being Ian, he thinks he can prod him into just about anything.

Then again, Mickey thinks, fingering the diploma in his pocket, maybe he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking this fic might hit around 100 chapters...depending on how I do the time jumps :P Just a heads up for people that have been asking, but that's not set in stone.


	89. The Memphis Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey travel to Memphis for Camille's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey at Camille's wedding is split into two chapters because it's longer than I originally intended :) So I'll post them close together. Enjoy! <3

“I can’t believe Mandy’s not coming” Ian comments, lifting his duffel bag up into the storage containers above him and Mickey on the Greyhound bus.

Mickey shrugs as he hands him his duffel too, Ian’s height being more advantageous for putting their stuff away. “She’s been getting into drugs and shit a lot more lately, a lot flakier than she used to be” he admits.

Ian looks over at him in concern, “Something we should be dealing with?” He didn’t see Mandy that often anymore, but now that he thought about it, that probably wasn’t a great sign either.

Mickey just looks worn out as he responds, “I have been. Trying to anyways. Iggy dealing doesn’t exactly help the fuckin situation, she’s always stealing shit from him now that they live together and then she’s gone half the time”. Ian nods, and sensing that Mickey wants to drop the conversation, he takes his hand casually as he settles into his seat beside him on the bus.

He’s already got enough on his own mind anyways…

A couple hours into the trip, while Mickey plays with a sniper game on his phone and Ian flips through a sporting magazine, he casually asks, hoping for a different answer this time, “Are you _sure_ you don’t want to get a hotel room when we get there?”

“Why would we do that when we can stay at their place for free?” Mickey responds, his dark eyebrows meeting in confusion as to why Ian keeps bringing this up. Normally, the two of them were saving every instance they could now for the apartment they would soon have, so Ian realizes it probably looks suspicious that he’s not doing that right now. “Oh just, you know. Privacy” he lies, bringing his green eyes back to the magazine article he’s not actually reading.

“We’re still gonna be able to bang” Mickey laughs slowly, his gears clearly working, “Especially since Mandy’s old room will be empty”. Ian nods but doesn’t say anything else, and he feels Mickey’s sharp eyes narrowing on him as the bus rolls over a particularly bumpy patch of road, making his stomach drop.

“You don’t want to meet them” Mickey says flatly. The way he says it, is like Ian had said he didn’t want to meet his _actual_ family or something. “Noo…it’s just, I don’t think…” he trails off, unsure of how to voice his fears.

This was a wedding, and it was supposed to be a _happy_ time. But almost a year ago, he had wrecked the man they obviously thought of like a son, so how welcome could he be in their home? How excited could they really be to meet him? Mickey presses his lips together in an unimpressed line as he crosses his arms, obviously reading his concerns. “I already fucking told you man, nobody is holding that against you. They want to meet you, and see what all the fucking fuss was about. In a good way”.

“I’m just nervous, alright?” Ian admits, biting his lip. He’s kind of wishing he wasn’t stuck on a bus right now, it’s just bringing up bad memories from the last time he made this trip. Mickey finally softens a bit as he looks over at him, “They’ll love you. I love you. Why don’t you take one of your Ativan and just sleep for a bit? It’s a long ass bus ride, we’re barely even half way there”.

Ian nods, thinking it couldn’t hurt to shut off his mind for a bit. He was okay most of the time, but a stressful situation like this could still bring out the worst in him, and he did not want to have a panic attack while he was trapped on a bus filled with strangers.

When he comes to a couple hours later, waking up from his place on Mickey’s shoulder, he feels a lot calmer and he notices Mickey had fallen asleep too. He’s still sitting there with his arms crossed and his stocky legs spread, but his eyes are closed and his pink lips are parted a bit as he breathes out slowly and steadily.

Ian smiles at him thoughtfully, realizing how much this moment reminded him of the first time they had sat together on a school bus to Oak Forest. But this time, he could stare all he liked, _and_ he could touch. He places a hand lightly on Mickey’s thigh, and rubs the inside of it gently. He loves the heat coming off of him, even through the material.

Mickey is getting hard, Ian can tell from the way his jeans are rising in the crotch, but it takes a few minutes of gentle inner thigh stroking for him to actually wake up, his eyebrows coming together in confusion as he does when he sees what Ian is doing. “Ian, what the-“

Ian bites his lip and keeps moving his hand, only more upwards now, effectively shutting him up. Mickey licks his lips and glances up at the front of the bus, and then at the other scattered passengers, before he lowers himself a bit more in his seat and puts his hand over Ian’s, pushing it down more firmly.

Green light.

It’s a subtle form of over the clothing jerking off he’s doing, but after a while Mickey is grinding his hips into it a bit, a hot flush making his cheeks slightly pink. Just seeing him like that is hot as hell, and Ian’s own dick is straining against his pants now from wanting him so bad.

But they still have three fucking hours left on this bus going somewhere he doesn’t particularly want to go. He needs a distraction.

Glancing around, Ian’s searching eyes fall on the bathroom sign not far behind them. He gives Mickey’s needy crotch one more squeeze before he gets up and tips his head towards the door, noticing and smirking at Mickey’s initial look of annoyance at the loss of his hand.

Ian goes inside first without looking to see if he’s following, and it’s an almost impossibly small cubicle, with just enough room for him to stand in front of the toilet, and when Mickey squeezes in a minute or two later, it’s even tighter.

“The fuck Ian” he mutters, raising an eyebrow. But he’s dropping his pants anyways, and Ian presses his mouth to the back of his neck to suck on it gently, feeling the light hairs back there rise in response.

He can barely get his pants down from behind him because he’s jammed so close, and his dick is pressing impatiently against Mickey’s ass the entire time, but with a gentle bend he manages to get inside him, the two of them sighing with relief.

Ian can still barely move against him, so they more or less just rock against each other, and it’s enough to get off after a while, for him anyways. He strokes Mickey the best he can, still inside of him while he tries to get him off too, but they hear an impatient knock at the door.

“ _Fuck off_ ” Mickey immediately growls, pushing back a bit against Ian for the final blow before he finally jizzes against the wall against a few minutes later.

“Okay… you go out first. I’ll clean that up” Ian says, grinning a bit as he points at the dripping wall. Mickey licks his bottom lip, now satiated.

“K, love you”.

“Love you too” Ian answers, giving him a kiss before his boyfriend slips out of the bathroom. Ian locks the door again and takes a few minutes to wipe up the cubicle the best he can before he rejoins Mickey at their seats.

When they finally arrive in Memphis a few hours later, Ian hears someone call out towards them eagerly as soon as him and Mickey step off the bus. “Mickey, Ian!”

Mickey’s head immediately turns towards the sound, and Ian notices a grin spread across his face as he heads towards a man and a woman waving them over, similar grins on their faces. They must be Camille and Rob. He can sort of see the brother and sister resemblance between them.

“Good to see you man” Rob says happily, giving Mickey a quick bro hug and a slap on the back before he extends a friendly hand out towards Ian, “You must be Ian. Nice to finally meet you”.

“Uh, yeah. You too” Ian smiles awkwardly, shaking his and then Camille’s hand. “You guys must be exhausted” she says thoughtfully, “Come on, let’s get you back to the house and you can relax for a while before dinner”.

“So, where’s the lucky guy?” Mickey asks, as they pile into Rob’s car. She leans back quickly from the wheel to smile at him, “At the house. He’s looking forward to meeting you guys too. He’s heard a lot about you Mickey”.

Rob nods his head in agreement, “And I hear we have a future police officer and a future paramedic in the car with us”. Ian notices that Mickey blushes a bit as he bows his head shyly, “Yeah man. Took your advice”.

“That’s really great. Proud of you” Rob says.

Ian feels his eyebrow twitch as Mickey’s flush deepens, still unable to take a compliment easily, but clearly liking it. He feels a little ridiculous admitting it to himself, but the more they talk and catch up as they drive to the Connolly house, the more he realizes he’s feeling a little jealous.

He always thought, maybe in a bit of an egoistical way, that he was the reason Mickey had turned his life around so much. But it seemed like in just a few months, these two had just a big an impact on him. It wasn’t a bad thing it just…made him feel more self conscious considering the situation.  

Rob, Camille, and Mickey all point things out to him on the drive, showing him some famous Memphis sights, and Ian nods and tries to smile with interest the best he can, but from the look on Mickey’s face, his boyfriend’s not buying it. When they get to the house, Mickey takes a quick look around inside as if reacquainting himself, and then turns to Camille and Rob, saying something that catches them all off guard.

“You two have a problem with Ian?”

“What? No!” they both say, almost in unison, as Ian burns red with embarrassment and smacks Mickey on the arm. “What the fuck!” he hisses.

“Ian thinks you guys fuckin hate him or something because he dumped me when I was staying here and I lost my shit about it” Mickey says plainly, “And I’m not gonna spend the entire fucking trip having him think that, so please just tell him yourselves that it’s not like that”.

It’s Rob that approaches Ian first, “Listen, I understand why you might go to that route of thinking, but it’s not the case at all. Did we like seeing Mickey hurting? No, not gonna fucking lie to you. But we never blamed you, we blamed his situation, we blamed his crappy father. You were the one good thing in his life, and that was clear from the beginning”.

“And I ditched him” Ian says miserably, picturing a heartbroken Mickey rampaging through this same house a year ago.  

“You did what you had to at the time to get through it. Clearly, you still loved him. And you know what Ian? I could see Mickey changing while he was here, thinking more about the future, but it wasn’t _really_ because of me or Camille. It was because of you. So… if anything, I want to thank you” Rob says, shaking his head sincerely.

“See? Fucking told you” Mickey says, satisfied as Ian eventually nods. There was no hostility towards him here, and finally he admits, “I’m glad someone else can see how awesome he is”.

“We do” Camille beams, “And we can see why he cares so much about you. So let’s put that behind us, and enjoy the now, not the then. I have someone I want you guys to meet”.

***Mickey’s POV***

Camille’s fiancé seems like a pretty decent guy, Mickey can admit. He grills him just enough to show he cares, and then backs off to focus on Ian again, who is slowly getting more comfortable with the situation. Maybe it was a little shitty airing out their dirty laundry in front of Camille and Rob, but he’d be damned if he let Ian spend the entire wedding thinking he wasn’t wanted there. It was just his stupid depression fucking with his head, so Mickey chased it off before it had a chance to settle in again.

He brings Ian up to his old room that night, fondling his red hair affectionately as he looks at the similarly colored walls. Ian is laying beside him, his arms around his stomach, holding him close, warm and near. The fat tortoiseshell cat, Frank, lays by their feet and purrs incessantly. Sure, Mickey thought a bit that night about his time spent here before, but being here _with_ Ian now was like painting over those painful memories with new ones, and the tortured teenager that been stuck here a year ago, was feeling a lot more fucking peaceful now. 

Trinity Farm is about half an hour away from the Connolly house, and the wedding party goes there around eleven in the morning, planning to spend the day on the ranch before they got ready for the afternoon wedding. Mickey had never been to a wedding like this, he quickly realizes, his family’s weddings were always cheap and trashy, mostly based around booze and a half assed church ceremony, but this was clearly meant to be romantic and shit.

He wanders around the grounds with Ian for a bit, carefully avoiding the barn where he assumes the horses are kept, but eagerly approaching the ATV’s they have parked on a section of the property. “Those for guests too?” he asks one of the owners.

“They’re for rent, but it’s not part of the wedding package that was purchased. Horseback riding is though, if you would like-“

“No, no. I’ll pay for it. Two for what, like an hour Ian?” Mickey quickly asks, hoping Ian will forget about the fucking horses for a while. Ian seems to be interested, so Mickey hands his cash over and picks a black and yellow ATV for himself after the practice field is pointed out to them, watching Ian gravitate towards a green one.

“Have you ever ridden one before?” Ian asks, putting his helmet on over his flaming red hair.

“No” Mickey answers with a grin. It looked simple enough though, definitely not more complicated than his Enduro was.

He fiddles with the grips for a moment before he hits the gas gently to get a feel for it, but he watches Ian shoot forward out from behind him, passing him and rocketing towards the field. “Fuckin slow down spaz!” he calls out, rolling his eyes and hearing Ian’s laugh trickling back towards him as he does. It’s not hard for him to catch up though, and then pass Ian, looping around some of the hay bales they had set up for obstacles while Ian navigates a little more awkwardly around them, less used to driving. 

It’s a lot more solid, the ATV, than Mickey is used to from his bike, but it also feels more durable, and he quickly heads towards the hilly area they had set up for minor jumps. “Watch me” he yells back at Ian, who obediently stops his ATV to watch him soar over the low dip between hills.

Ian nods, impressed, and then repeats exactly what he done, doing a dramatic bow from his seat afterwards. “Oh fuck off” Mickey laughs, as Ian slowly comes up behind him, nudging his back wheel with his own ATV, “And this isn’t fucking bumper cars”.

“We’ll have to do that too” Ian says happily, talking loudly over the engine growl. “Why? You don’t need a bumper car to ride my ass, you do it all the time anyways” Mickey shoots back teasingly, grinning as Ian flips him off. They fuck around on the jumps for a while longer before Ian finally checks his watch and signals it’s past time for them to head back.

“Been looking for you guys, come on, it’s time to clean up and get your suits on” Rob says as they return to the reception area. “Where’s Camille?” Mickey asks.

“Getting her fucking dress on what do you think?” he laughs good naturedly, waving them over to the changeroom. “They put all your stuff in here. I’ll wait outside for you guys and we can head over to the field together when you’re ready”.

Mickey nods along with Ian and they go inside to clean up by the sinks a bit after their ATV practice, before they get into their freshly pressed tuxes, courtesy of Camille’s wallet.  

“Did you remember your tie?” Mickey asks, suddenly remembering his gift to Ian way back in December. “Course I did” Ian answers, unfolding it carefully with smile.

“Reminded me of your eyes” Mickey tells him for a second time, looping it around his neck for him and tightening it in place, “Where the fuck are our flower thingies?”

“Here” Ian answers, reaching back to a bench to get the white roses to pin to their lapels.

“Alright, how do I look?” he asks afterwards, standing back and holding his long arms slightly to either side for Mickey’s consideration.

Mickey breaths out a bit before he bites his lip, “Terrible” he says, solemnly, before he bursts into laughter as Ian grabs his head. “Don’t fuck up my hair” he warns, “But honestly, you look…really handsome”.

And he did look handsome. He looked amazing, like always. Standing there tall and lean in his suit, dressed to the nines with his red hair carefully combed yet still sort of doing its own thing, something Mickey had always loved about it. His green eyes are happy and bright, and his smile is genuine.

“Well you do too, so” Ian grins.

“Good, cause my date can’t be prettier than me” Mickey smirks, sticking a cigarette in his mouth. “Oh, shit, too late” Ian teases back, bumming a smoke as they leave the changeroom. “You guys look great” Rob comments as they finally join him, “Let’s go”.

Ian reaches out for Mickey’s hand while they walk towards the setup and he takes it, and Rob shows them where their seats are. They got a good view, Mickey supposes, near the front, like he’s family. He sees Jeff and Louis a couple rows over with their daughter, and waves awkwardly back when they all excitedly wave to him.

“Who’re they?” Ian asks, craning his neck around for a better look to see who Mickey’s waving at. “Gay neighbors” Mickey answers, butting out his cigarette.

“Serious?”

“Yeah, that’s their kid” Mickey answers again, not failing to notice how long Ian looks over in interest at the little family. “You know what?” Ian finally says, and Mickey feels his heartbeat quicken a bit at his thoughtful tone, wondering what he’s gonna say. “What?” he asks carefully.

“After two years, this is our first real date as a couple. Other than prom I guess. This is us, going out as a couple, and everyone knowing that’s what we are. We should do this more often”.

“You want that?” Mickey asks. They’d been out of the closet for a few weeks at home of course, but other than prom, like Ian pointed out, they had kept things pretty low-key in public, probably often still appearing just as close friends to people that didn’t know them.

“Of course I do” Ian answers, “Don’t you?” he asks, sounding almost worried.

“Yeah, sure. What do you mean, like movies and shit? Dinner?”

“All that” Ian smiles, “I want it all with you”.

Mickey looks into his sincere eyes, and is about to say something, but without him realizing it, the wedding was apparently about to start. The music cuts him off, and him and Ian both immediately turn to watch as Camille walks up the aisle with Rob to give her away, her soon to be husband beaming at the alter.

Mickey isn’t much one for ceremonies, or anything involving religion, but they keep it short and simple, repeating their vows back to each other with happy tears in their eyes, which he thinks is a little much until he hears their vows, one part in particular making his own throat feel thick and scratchy.

It’s Camille’s speech to her new husband that gets him, his beating faster against his chest again as he becomes very aware of Ian’s comforting presence beside him.

“You know, sometimes you just meet someone in life by chance, and all of a sudden, you know that your life will never be the same. They change you from that moment on, in the very best of ways. And it didn’t take too long knowing you Jonathan, to know that you were the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have children with you, and continue to grow by your side. I want to love you forever”.

Fuck. Mickey’s never felt emotional at a wedding before, not in the fucking slightest, but being here with Ian at this one…fuck. He’s so _aware_ of the redhead beside him, every loving word spoken reverberating between them meaningfully like they are trying to tell him something.

Something he thinks he already knows.


	90. Questions and Statements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the wedding, Mickey and Ian go horseback riding. Mickey is less than thrilled about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of Camille's wedding. Obviously, I had fun writing this one :)

***Ian’s POV***

The wedding was a lot more moving than Ian had thought it would be. He hadn’t been expecting to attend as anything but Mickey’s partner, but it felt a lot more meaningful than that, being here with him. He wondered if Mickey felt just as thoughtful, just as intense, as he did during the vows, hearing all of those promises.

This shit wasn’t exactly Mickey’s thing, and he knew that. He never had been one for all that fluffy romantic shit, not really. He liked doing things in private, just for Ian. In the past he had referred to marriage as ‘just a piece of paper’.

But seeing the beautiful wedding, and seeing the Connolly’s neighbors Jeff and Louis with their kid, was almost like a teasing jab at Ian, because he wasn’t sure if he would get to have that some day.

And there was no doubt in his mind anymore, that that’s exactly what he wanted down the road.

Once the actual wedding is over, and Camille and Jonathan are officially married, Camille takes the microphone from their priest to address their guests.

“Thank you so much  _everyone_  for being here again today with us, now we invite our guests to head back to the house for appetizers before we begin our main celebration with food, and yes, open bar. Ourselves and the immediate wedding party will be joining you in an hour, but first, we have planned a little horseback riding!”

Ian hears an animal snort somewhere behind himself and he turns around while everyone is clapping after her little address to see the horses than had been led up behind them, ten in total.

How had he not heard them approaching? But maybe no one else did either, because the rest of the guests look equally surprised and delighted at the sight of the equines. Except for Mickey. “Look Mickey” Ian says excitedly, pointing at them even though his boyfriend is already looking, with an extremely unimpressed look on his face.

“C’mon, aren’t they beautiful?” he prompts, but Mickey just spits in the grass, “No” he mutters.

Ian can see him trying to edge away from the wedding guests a few minutes later, but he grabs his arm before he can escape, happily joining Camille, Rob, Jonathan, and the rest of the immediate wedding party as they head towards the horses. He had always wanted to do this, but Chicago wasn’t exactly a prime area for going horseback riding.

Mickey on the other hand, is looking very apprehensive as they approach the large animals, and when one of the horses snorts loudly, he practically jumps out of his skin. “Jesus Christ!” he swears.

“Calm down Mick” Ian laughs, “Horses can sense when you’re nervous”. He remembers reading that once, way back in elementary school.

“Horses can sense when you fuck off” Mickey mutters back, clearly not in the mood to engage Ian on the topic of horses. Ian just rolls his eyes in amusement at his rapidly changed attitude, knowing he’s just fucking scared and lashing out instead of just admitting it.

“Alright everyone, we are going to help you mount your horses one by one, and once you are comfortably situated and we have gone over the basic commands, you may leave to explore the adjacent fields with your horses if you don’t have any other questions. These guys are professionals, and have been doing this for years, so they will likely take you around our usual trails out of habit unless you direct them to do otherwise” the farm guide explains.

“Bride, if you would like to join me by Strawberry here, we’ll demonstrate with you”.

Ian watches intently as Camille carefully mounts the tan-colored horse the farmhand is holding by the reigns, paying careful attention to everything the guide says about instructing the horses, but he can’t say the same for his boyfriend. He’s still wrinkling his narrow nose at the horses and complaining about everything from their "awful" smell to “their big fuckin noses”.

While everyone else is brought a horse one by one, and then slowly takes off towards the field, Mickey glares at the horse standing closest to him, “Quit fucking looking at me” he snaps.

The horse’s dark eye rolls back towards him again and he lifts his lip over his teeth, exposing them brilliantly, Mickey’s eyes widening at the sight.

“Bite me and I’ll turn you into fucking glue” he threatens, the horse snorting again at him and tossing his head. It’s almost as if he finds Mickey amusing, and Ian can’t help but laugh at this point.

Most of the horses seem extremely docile, simply waiting their turn to be selected or casually eating some grass by their feet, but this one seems a little more spunky and interactive, which is setting Mickey off, and Ian has a feeling that’s the horse he’s gonna get.

He’s jet black, his long mane and tail too, even darker than Mickey’s hair, with a small white star on his forehead. He’s not the tallest or the biggest horse, but he seems to be the most energetic, and possibly the most challenging. “Maybe you can ask for a carrot to calm him down with, that always works with you” Ian smirks, unable to help himself when Mickey flips off the horse again as it paws at the ground impatiently.

If looks could kill, Mickey’s directed at him in response would, but he shuts his mouth as the farm hand reaches Ian and takes his suit jacket for him, like he did for the rest of the men, while he brings the second last horse over, much taller than the dark one.

“Alrighty, I’ve got Daphne here for you today. Daphne is a nine-year-old quarter horse, as you can see she has beautiful roan coloring, and she’s a total sweetheart”.

“Hi Daphne” Ian says softly, letting the horse sniff his hand. Her nose feels velvety, and she presses her warm lip against his palm as she does. She tosses her head upwards gently afterwards, seeming friendly, and Ian immediately falls in love. He holds onto her black mane while he pulls himself up once he was promised that it wouldn’t hurt her, like he was shown, and she feels very large and steady beneath him, very trustworthy.

The farm hand then turns to Mickey, who pretends like he doesn’t see him at first.

“Jacket?” the farm hand asks, taking it happily as Mickey gives in and thrusts it towards him, not picking up on his sour mood.

“Awesome possum. Last but not least, we have Trigger. Trigger is our black thoroughbred, he’s four years old, and he loves to explore”.

“Trigger?” Mickey asks, reluctantly taking the farm hand’s arm to help balance himself as he pulls himself up onto the horse. “Oh, when he was younger, he used to burst out of the gate the  _second_  it opened, like someone had pulled a trigger. But he doesn’t do that anymore, so no worries” the farm hand beams, “Have fun”.

He smacks Trigger’s rump gently, and with another loud snort, the horse joins Ian’s, who is beginning to head towards the field in the direction the others had disappeared.

“Yeah, no fucking worries” Mickey mutters once they are far enough away for the guide not to hear. Ian just smiles over at him, their horses now walking calmly beside each other.

“See? This is fun. It’s  _fun_ ” he pushes, but Mickey just sets his jaw firmly, clearly determined to literally just ride this out.

It’s a huge property, and leaving last, Ian doesn’t even see the other riders anymore, but he kind of likes that. It’s nice, just him and Mickey out here. And honestly, Mickey looks pretty fucking hot on the dark horse, whether he likes it or not, in his black suit pants and crisp white dress shirt, undone a bit at the top.

When he wasn’t looking, Ian had snapped a couple pictures of him on his phone. Maybe there was a cowboy fantasy in there he’d have to explore…

Ian hears a lighter flicking after a while and raises an eyebrow over at his boyfriend, “I don’t think you’re supposed to smoke near them”. Mickey lifts an eyebrow right back, “He’s literally named after part of a fucking gun. I think he’ll live”.

Ian shrugs and lets Daphne pull ahead a bit when they get to a narrower part of a trail just off the open fields, patting her mane as she does. “Such a good girl” he croons, hearing Mickey snort behind him at the compliment. As if one cue, Trigger snorts even louder.

“Shut up” Mickey grouses, adding “Oh my god” when it neighs. "Is it shitting?" he asks, "Fuck that's disgusting". 

“Maybe he’s telling you to shut up back” Ian laughs, and without looking, he knows without a doubt Mickey is flipping him off from behind him.

They ride along the trail a lot more calmly for a while, and Ian is really settling into it, enjoying the beautiful sunset around the forest’s edge and the trees around them, when he hears Mickey suddenly bellow from behind him, “IS THAT A FUCKING SNAKE!”

Before he even finishes his fucking sentence, Trigger lets out a shrill and sharp neigh at his outburst, and before Ian can even turn around, he hears a solid thump, and then Trigger goes bolting past him and Daphne.

Without Mickey.

“FUCKING ASSHOLE!” Mickey shouts after the horse, as Ian nudges Daphne to stop with his heels like he was shown.

“What the hell was that?” he demands, looking in the direction the horse had disappeared before staring at his boyfriend. “Fucking asshole stood up and dumped me on my ass!” Mickey says in annoyance, rubbing his backside as he pulls himself up again.

“Mick, you’re calling a horse an asshole. And where’s the fucking snake? Shouldn’t you be more concerned about that?”

“It’s not- it wasn’t…it was a curvy stick” Mickey slowly admits, reddening, “But there’s fucking pit vipers out here man! And it really looked like one!”

Ian tries to hide his smile by biting on his bottom lip, tipping his head a bit. “Come here” he says, offering a hand down towards his frustrated boyfriend as his horse turns slightly. Mickey raises his eyebrow at him, “You want me to ride with you?”

“Daphne’s not gonna buck you off. Just hold onto me. Like I hold onto you when we ride your motorcycle. Unless you want to walk behind her the whole way back” Ian reasons. Mickey slowly takes his hand and struggles a bit, but manages to pull himself up behind Ian on the saddle, Daphne accepting her new additional passenger without complaint.

Ian feels Mickey’s arms settle around his middle, and he clicks his tongue again, signalling Daphne to keep going. Her steady gate is lulling him into a state of peaceful relaxation, especially now with having Mickey pressed against him.

“Should have just done this from the beginning” Mickey grunts, and Ian smiles from in front of him. He didn’t seem scared or annoyed anymore, just a little subdued. “Mmm” Ian agrees as they reach the open field again. “You love this shit don’t you?” Mickey asks, hearing the happiness in his hum.

“What’s not to love? There’s a fucking stunning sunset, that I’m literally riding off towards on a beautiful horse, with my amazing and sexy boyfriend” Ian says incredulously.

“Okay, okay. Calm down. It is kinda romantic or whatever I guess” Mickey admits from behind him. They are both quiet for a while, enjoying each others company and the beautiful setting until Mickey breaks the silence again, “Ian?” he asks slowly.

“Yeah?”

“What did you think of the wedding?”

Ian shrugs slightly, running over it again in his mind. “It was really nice. I don’t know if I’d go all out like this for my wedding but-“

He realizes what he said and freezes, even though Daphne keeps moving beneath him. Mickey’s voice is a little unsteady from behind him as he eventually prods, “…But what?”

“Well, I do think it’s important that it’s a special day” Ian says carefully, noticing how Mickey’s arms are resting around him more tightly now, his fingers joined at his chest. He wonders if Mickey can feel how hard his heart is beating beneath them, like it’s  _trying_  to fucking give him away.

“So, you would want something like this” Mickey says, more a statement than a question.

“Some day?” Ian answers hesitantly, more a question than a statement.

It feels like Mickey is nodding behind him, and though he’s not entirely sure, he thinks he hears him repeat very quietly, “Someday”.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey is not sure if he’s annoyed or relieved to see that Trigger had returned to the barn on his own accord and been collected by a farm hand, but at least he didn’t get in shit or anything for him taking off by himself.

Stupid horse.

He’s fucking starving by the time they get to the wedding banquet, his needy stomach finally shutting up his deep thoughts, and he walks around the tables with a plate around everyone else, eagerly grabbing at choice morsels of finger food.

Licking his fingers after a particularly satisfying piece of slow roasted ribs, he watches while Camille and Jonathan open with the first dance, smiling at each other like idiots the entire time while they dance to Perfect by Ed Sheeran.

" _Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, n_ _ot knowing what it was._ _We are still kids, but we're so in love. Fighting against all odds. I know we'll be alright this time”_

But then again, that’s what love is,  _isn’t it_? he thinks, seeing Ian looking over at him hopefully as some other couples start to join the floor after the first song ends. Smiling at each other like idiots. He smirks back and tips his head while he rolls his eyes teasingly, because even though he’d never admit it, he kinda liked slow dancing with Ian.

It’s the way their bodies move together so well, no matter what they are doing, he thinks, as they slowly dance to some almost sultry ambient ballad. “You look really hot in a suit, but I’d like to see you without it” Ian whispers in his ear, right as the lyrics hit “ _Whispered something in your ear, it was a perverted thing to say. But I said it anyway, made you smile and look away_ ”.

Of course, Mickey’s first instinct at the comment was to blush and look away, but then he laughs and shakes his head in disbelief at Ian. “You totally fucking planned that”.

“Maybe” Ian grins playfully, “You’re not the only one that can request a song”.

“Apparently not. But you don’t get brownie points for this, because I thought of it first” Mickey says as seriously as he can.

“Mmm. I can live with that” Ian says back, still smiling at him with a soft expression on his face.

 

_"Nothing's gonna hurt you baby,_

_As long as you're with me you'll be just fine,_

_Nothing's gonna hurt you baby,_

_Nothing's gonna take you from my side."_


	91. A Ballpoint Pen and a Handshake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian look for their first apartment together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Street names and distances aren’t accurate/real, except for the part about the schools. They actually are down the road from each other :)

***Ian’s POV***

“So, this one is definitely a no?” Ian asks regretfully, smoothing out the map of Chicago with his hands again. Him and Mickey have narrowed their choices down to a handful of available apartments they either liked or could afford, but there weren’t too many options that met both categories.

Ian had circled his favorites on the map so he could pinpoint relative distance to work and school, and this one was the closest…and the most expensive, and the nicest.

Mickey glances over at where he’s pointing on the map, a bright red circle around it.

“Nah man. It would be good being that close to our schools and stuff, but it’s a lot more fuckin expensive”.

Ian nods, that apartment had more or less been one they had just viewed for fun because of it’s steep price, but he couldn’t deny it would be really nice to live there, within walking distance of everything other than their jobs, which would be an alright commute a few times a week.

“Well what exactly makes a place an absolute no?” he asks, chewing on the end of his pen as he looks at his notebook thoughtfully. Mickey lists out some reasons, sticking a finger out after each one emphatically, and Ian writes them all down.

“First of all, dogs have to be allowed. Not leaving Mo again. Not a stupid long commute for either of us to get to school, or work. One bedroom, studio is too fuckin small. We’d end up killing each other. And let’s try and stay $850 down, even with the help from Rob and Camille, because I don’t think either of us will be working enough to pitch in more than a few hundred each month”.

“They said $200 towards rent each month, right?” Ian asks, Mickey nodding in response. It was really nice and generous of them to do that, and along with working the occasional shifts and student aid, which they had both already been approved for, they should be okay.

“I think the one on Holborne Street is the only place that fits all that, but that’s one of the ones we haven’t even gone to look at yet” Ian finally muses aloud, Mickey coming over to look behind his shoulder.

“Kinda near the river, that would be cool. Mo would like going there for walks and shit”.

“It’s also in between school and our jobs so either way we are commuting around twenty-five minutes, a little extra for me” Ian tells him.

The college he will be attending in September, Malcom X, is actually very close to the Police Training Division where Mickey will be going, something he was very pleased to realize. Even though they wouldn’t be going to the same school anymore, their schools were only a ten-minute bus ride apart, so they would still be going the same way in the mornings.

“Well? Let’s go fuckin look at it” Mickey says, grabbing his shoulder before he goes to get his and Ian’s helmets.

He looks back at Ian when he returns, and must notice the look on his face, because he raises an eyebrow with a smile, “You’re pretty excited, huh”.

“Yeah” Ian admits. This was something he’d been thinking about for a lot longer than Mickey probably knew, and any step that committed them more to each other was something he really wanted to do. As happy as Mickey seemed about moving in together, he didn’t seem to think it was a huge deal, and that was the difference between them.

For Mickey, it was a natural next step, for Ian, it was something he never thought would happen.

62 Holborne isn’t the nicest looking place from the outside. It’s a got a cheaply fenced in yard, some overgrown weeds in it’s walkway, and it’s not entirely large or impressive. But Ian relaxes a little more when the apartment owner shows them the available one-bedroom unit. It’s on the seventh and top level, it’s actually decently sized, and with a little TLC, it could probably clean up nice.

At $900 a month, it’s barely off their budget, another bonus.

He feels Mickey watching him as he moves through the older apartment, opening drawers and peeking around doors to inspect the quality of the place. He stops at the nice little balcony they have, and Mickey finally clears his throat and asks pointedly, “Well?”

“Well what? Do you like it?” Ian says, putting the question back on him.

“It’s more important to me what you think” Mickey says, raising an eyebrow at his tone.

“Well, I like it. I think we could do a lot with it. But if you don’t-“

“We’ll take it” Mickey says firmly, turning to shake the owner’s hand.

“Fantastic. I’ll need August’s payment by next week, well, first _and_ last. So $1800”.

“Wait, what? August?” Ian frowns, “We aren’t looking to move in until September. Can we push it back?”

The owner shrugs, “You don’t have to move in, but if it’s not paid for, I’m not holding it for another month. Someone else will take it. No offence, but not gonna give up a months rent for you two”.

Mickey quickly shakes his dark head, “Nah, it’s fine. I can pay first and last now, just let me sign for it and I’ll send you the first payment online. Cash after that though”.

“That’s fine”. Ian watches as his boyfriend and the apartment complex’s owner shake hands, before he clears his throat, “Mind if we have a minute alone?” he asks politely.

“Not at all, I’ll go get the paperwork. Be back in ten”.

Mickey turns with a questioning eyebrow once the apartment door closes, “You change your mind about the place?” Ian shakes his head, “No… but that’s a week Mick. I didn’t think we’d be moving out for another month and a half at least. We don’t have anything, any furniture, any supplies…”

Mickey laughs, “Ian, we’ll get all that shit. Don’t fucking worry. And if you aren’t ready yet, it’s cool, I can get everything set up and you can move in when you feel like it”.

It’s Ian’s turn to smirk now, “And let you decorate? I don’t think so. I’ve seen your bedroom walls”.

“Ay, let me have my years as a pissy teenager. They’re almost gone now” Mickey laughs, flipping him off. He walks over towards Ian to hold his arms tenderly while they kiss in their soon to be apartment, but they break apart with a subtle throat clearing when the complex owner returns.

They both listen to him go over the basic rental rules, nothing they didn’t expect, and when it’s time, he points out where they have to sign on the dotted line. “Mr. Milkovich, here, and Mr. Gallagher, there”.

A few scratches later from a ballpoint pen, a handshake, and they are standing in their new apartment.

***Mickey’s POV***

For as long as Mickey can remember, he’s wanted a place he could call his own. Not something he had because of his asshole dad, or because of the kindness of his boyfriend’s family in recent years, or anything else. A place he earned, he put money into, and he called his own.

And having Ian move in with him was just the cherry on the fucking top.

His moving out was less emotional for the Gallaghers than his brother Lip’s had been, he was only a trip on the El away, and moving into a slightly better neighborhood, so everyone was pretty happy for him.

Their first night in the new place, after swinging his new apartment key around his finger happily, Mickey brings his old mattress up there for them to sleep on. They had both booked the next couple of days off to get stuff for their place and set up, but tonight, it would have to be enough just to have that.

And he’s not really sleeping anyways.

Ian’s shifting above him in the darkness on his old mattress, his hot forehead pressed to Mickey’s own as he thrusts into him repeatedly, each movement guided and familiar. His strong back arches with each push that fills Mickey further perfectly, and Mickey’s searching and greedy hands follow the dip of his spine towards his firm ass before he goes up again for another thrust.

Ian’s perfect white skin is hot but soft underneath his hands, his eager mouth moving all over his neck and then his lips, searching for a sign that they had done the right thing by moving in together.

Mickey’s entire body is sizzling with an excitement that comes from more than just fucking in an empty apartment. It’s _their_ empty apartment. His and Ian’s.

“Fuck I love you” he whispers and then moans into Ian’s open mouth, his words driving his boyfriend to the edge. “I’m gonna come in you” Ian groans, and Mickey moves his hand downwards to jerk himself off towards his own finish while Ian shudders above him, panting as he finds his release.

When Ian flops back onto the mattress beside him, exhausted but satisfied, Mickey looks at the way the moonlight pouring through their uncovered bedroom window illuminates his red hair. Ian watches him right back, and Mickey finally admits, “You look just like you did that night at Oak Forest. Just a little older I guess”.

“I was just thinking that” Ian answers, pulling himself closer to Mickey’s warm and naked form for comfort, “You know what I thought that night, before I went to sleep?”

Mickey’s heart beats a little faster in his chest, which he didn’t think was possible after an orgasm like that, but whenever Ian’s voice gets low and thoughtful like that, it sets him off a bit.

Like he’s got the power in his voice to change his world with just a few words.

“What?” he asks carefully, his fingers reaching over in the dark to intertwine with Ian’s longer ones.

“I was wondering if it was possible to fall for someone in one day” Ian smiles, squeezing his hand as he leans his face down onto his chest, making him a pillow and yawning tiredly. Mickey strokes his red hair with his free hand lazily before he drifts off himself, no more words needing to pass between them that night.

The proof was all around them that it was possible.  

The next day they rent a small moving truck and visit a dirt cheap second-hand furniture store even deeper in the South Side than their old homes, with Lip and Iggy there to help them move some of their purchases back to their apartment.

“Well what about this one?” Ian asks him, grasping the silver pole of yet another floor lamp as he looks over for his approval.

“Ian, it’s a fucking lamp. Get whatever you like, I don’t care” Mickey smirks, lighting a cigarette as Ian rolls his eyes. They had gone through the same process of Ian hemming and hawing over making a final decision with their bedframe, their dresser, and their tv stand.

“Fine I’m getting this one” Ian says, raising an eyebrow as he goes and stands beside an eccentric purple lamp, looking straight out of the fucking seventies. “Changed my mind, I like that other one” Mickey quickly shoots back, and Ian grins, satisfied he’s made his point.

Iggy and Lip return from the truck where they had loaded all their other stuff, and sweating, Lip asks, “Anything else?”

“Just a kitchen table set” Ian answers, moving over to that section of the store. There’s only two real options that won’t be stupid big for the size of their apartment, one a darker and folding table with three chairs, and one lighter wooden one with the same, but rounded.

Before Ian can even say anything, Mickey gives his him opinion, “I like the round one. Will look good with the cupboards”. Iggy slugs him in the shoulder with affection, “Jeez, how did we not realize you were gay sooner Mick?” but Mickey just laughs back, “I ain’t fucking blind like you Ig”.

“We only have the truck for another two hours, let’s get to Walmart and get the rest of our stuff now” Ian prompts, rolling out his carefully counted cash to the store owner before they leave. “Other stuff?” Mickey asks, trying to think of what they needed besides some fucking food.

“Toaster, coffee maker, microwave, plates, utensils, cups, towels-“

“Woah woah woah, we can take half that shit from my place” Mickey interjects, thinking they’d be better off going another thrift store for that crap. “No, you can’t” Iggy points out, “I live there and so does Mandy. Half the time. That’s our shit now”.

“Coffee makers are like ten bucks now, for the simple ones. Same with toasters” Ian says pointedly, “I think we can afford to get a couple new things”. “Listen to your man” Iggy grins, taking a cigarette from Lip as they pile back into the moving van.

“Shut the fuck up, no one asked you” Mickey says, frowning. But Ian has a point, and he doesn’t argue while Ian fills up a shopping cart that he makes Mickey push around after him. “So domestic, our brothers” Lip says with a smirk to Iggy, both of them laughing as Mickey turns to flip them off, “I will domestically kick your ass”.

Last but not least, they put a case of beer in the truck and head back towards 62 Holborne. “Alright, some beers and then fuck off so we can put shit away” Mickey tells their two annoying helpers for the day as they unload into the apartment. “Yes, we need to let them nest” Lip says dead seriously, Iggy guffawing like an idiot.

“Ian?” Mickey looks over with a raised eyebrow for help and Ian simply adds, “Unless you want to hear us fucking on our new bedframe. Then you’re welcome to stay”.

That’s all it takes to get their two older brothers on their way, but to Mickey’s disappointment, Ian wants to leave the fucking for later, and mills around their apartment putting stuff away for the next couple hours while Mo follows him around with a wagging tail.

Eventually, Mickey gets a stir-fry dinner going for them on the old stove that’s badly in need of a scrub, and by late that evening they are sitting at their new table eating dinner and looking around their new place while Mo sleeps by their feet.

“Can’t believe we have our own place. It feels weird, I’m only seventeen, but at the same time, I never really did feel like we had a normal teenage life” Ian says, still shaking his head while he looks around. “Yeah, pretty fucking weird being on our own already. In a good way” Mickey admits, “More hot sauce?” he asks, after tipping the bottle over his own plate.

“Yup”.

Mickey watches while Ian finishes his dinner, and then finally asks, “So you wanna get on me, or?” Ian grins, “Horny motherfucker, aren’t you?” he bites his lip, “I’m gonna fuck you in every area of this apartment. Just so you know”.

Mickey raises an eyebrow, “How about we start in the kitchen?”


	92. Bloodstream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam sleeps over at Mickey and Ian’s place, Mickey takes Ian out for a birthday dinner date. 
> 
> Named after the song that I listened to writing the last scene :)  
> 'I think I might've inhaled you,  
> I can feel you behind my eyes.  
> You've gotten into my bloodstream,  
> I can feel you flowing in me.'

***Ian’s POV***

Fiona pushes her messy brown hair back from her pale forehead with one hand and uses the other to bring her coffee mug to her lips, a work of art brilliantly logoed with _Give Me Coffee or Shut the Fuck Up_.

“I really appreciate you guys taking Liam for a night. You’re sure Mickey won’t mind?” she asks again worriedly, “I know it’s sort of last minute, but Eric has really been on me about not spending enough time with him lately, so I just wanted to go right to his place after work. Part time kindergarten sucks”.

Ian leans back against the kitchen sink across from her, “I already texted him and he’s fine with it. He’s gonna watch him while I’m at school this afternoon” he promises. Fiona had paid him a visit to the apartment that morning at the crack of dawn, dragging along Liam, a suitcase filled with some toys and clothes, and begging Ian to take him for a day.

She does look really tired, and Ian already knows Liam has been desperately wanting to come and stay with him Mickey ever since they had moved out over a month ago. They were the coolest ‘big brothers’ he could possibly imagine having, and Ian knew Mickey liked feeling that way as much as he did.

“I’m sorry I have to drop him and run, but I want to shower and change before my shift at Patsy’s” Fiona explains, gathering up her purse before she puts her empty coffee mug in the sink behind Ian. “Bye Liam. Be a good boy for Ian and Mickey, okay? Tell Mick I said hi” she adds before she pops a kiss on her brother’s cheek and heads for the door.

Ian and his little brother wave goodbye, and then Ian turns back to Liam. “Well, Mickey worked all night at the mall but he should be home in about an hour. How about we make him his favorite breakfast for when he gets here?” His own stomach, filled only with coffee, is beginning to grumble impatiently. Liam happily joins him in the open kitchen attached to their small living room, mashing bananas ruthlessly in a large metal bowl for their pancakes while Ian mixes the dry ingredients.  

When the apartment door is shoved open around an hour later, Liam runs over to greet Mickey excitedly.

“Mickey!”

Mickey pretends to be shocked to see him, “What the-how did you get in here?” he asks. “Fiona brought me” Liam giggles, as Mickey reaches down to tickle him to the floor. “You didn’t drive?” Mickey asks teasingly.  

“I don’t have a car” Liam laughs again, when Mickey finally straightens up after mussing his unruly hair. He heads into the kitchen with his nose in the air, sniffing suspiciously. “Neither do I. Cool kids drive motorcycles Liam, remember that. And am I going crazy or do I smell fuckin banana pancakes in here?”

“Not going crazy. We made some for you” Ian informs him, lifting the plate to show Mickey his and Liam’s slightly lumpy pancakes. The cooking thing was a slower process for him than it was for his boyfriend, who never had an older sister to make him food. “Fuck yes” Mickey says, immediately grabbing another plate to pull some cakes onto. The three of them sit at the table together eating breakfast, Mickey still in his security uniform, but as much as he tries to show an initial interest in the conversation between the two brothers, his head soon starts to droop and he yawns openly.

“Why don’t we let Mick get some sleep? We can go to the park for a few hours before I have to go to school” Ian suggests to his little brother, who nods agreeably and goes to get his velcro running shoes.

Ian follows his retreating boyfriend to their bedroom while Liam is busy, where he draws the blind and pulls off his security shirt and jacket before his pants, leaving just his wifebeater and his boxers on. He turns and gives Ian a tired kiss before he flops onto their mattress, falling asleep almost instantly, and part of Ian wishes he could just curl up and nap with him, their schedules had been so mismatched lately between their work and college classes.

He gives one last longing glance at Mickey’s perfectly round ass beneath _his_ pinstriped boxers before he closes the door behind himself and goes to find Liam. They spend a couple hours at the park nearby, Ian either supervising or pushing him on the swings while Mo explores around them, and then they stop to get a treat before they go home at Dunkin Donuts.

Mickey is awake and dressed in sweats and fitted tank when they get back, but instead of smiling like Ian does when they see each other, he frowns. “You went and got donuts and didn’t bring me one?” he asks, clearly unimpressed. Ian laughs, “How do you know we got donuts?”

“Between the fuckin sprinkle on your bottom lip and the Dunkin cup in your hand, I’m gonna say you did” Mickey says accusingly, as Ian comes over and grins, whispering in his ear so Liam can’t hear, even though he’s already back digging through his toy suitcase with Mo.

“Guess I’ll just have to give you something sweet tonight to make up for it”.

Mickey looks enticed for a moment by the suggestion, but then he shakes his head emphatically, “Walls are paper fuckin thin man. He should sleep in our bed with you tonight, I’ll take the couch”. “Well maybe I can sneak out when he’s asleep…” Ian says suggestively, but Mickey just rolls his blue eyes. “Get going or you’ll be late for your class Gallagher”.

Taking Mickey’s advice, Ian grabs his backpack and waves a quick goodbye to his little brother and his boyfriend, intent on not walking into any more classes past their start time. Surprisingly, Mickey seems to take college even more seriously than he does, when he’s not working, he’s usually running over his notes or watching training videos on his phone, his brow furrowed while he thinks.

After Ian’s college class on patient assessments, he heads back home from Malcolm X, bringing Popeye’s chicken with him for dinner. The three of them eat on the couch together while they watch the original Jurassic Park, one of Liam’s favorites and apparently a past one of Mickey’s too. When Liam’s head starts to droop sleepily later that night, Ian dims the living room light and carries Liam into his and Mickey’s bedroom, tucking him into the bed.

Once he’s out, he’s out, and he doesn’t even stir as Ian pulls the warm blankets up over him.  

Coming back out to the living room a few minutes later, Ian sees Mickey now with a beer bottle pressed to his firm lips, sitting a little more spread legged and comfortably on their old green couch, his left arm resting over the back of it. His fitted black tank top hugs his broad chest perfectly, and even in the dim lighting, he looks fucking hot. “What?” he smirks. Without looking over Ian, he can clearly feel his eyes on him.

Unabashedly caught staring, Ian slides onto the couch beside him easily and takes the beer bottle from his soon protesting lips, taking a long pull that Mickey eventually ends up extending by the tipping the bottle further back. Once it’s drained, he lifts a dark eyebrow at him. “You gonna get me another one, or?”

“Or” Ian answers, pressing his lips to Mickey’s as he puts the bottle to the floor and out of their way. His boyfriend doesn’t protest, and quickly brings both arms around to frame his face with his firm hands as they kiss, breathing out more heavily through his nose when Ian’s tongue pokes inside his mouth to tangle with his.

He takes like Budweiser, his mouth pleasantly cool from the beer, but after a few minutes of making out he pulls back reluctantly. “We can’t man. It’ll be too loud”.

“We don’t have to” Ian murmurs, pulling him back in with one hand and lowering the other down to his gray sweatpants, deftly freeing his boyfriend’s pressing hard on from it’s material confines. He stretches out more comfortably across the couch before he slips his mouth down over Mickey’s dick, practically resting his head in his lap while Mickey’s hand dangles over his red hair, occasionally gripping it with little hisses when Ian licks him a certain way.

“Fuck Ian…” he mutters, resting his head against the back of the couch and closing his eyes while he focuses on the sensation of an eager tongue and mouth rhythmically massaging his dick. “That mouth drives me crazy…in more ways than one, you cocky prick” he adds when Ian snorts softly with amusement into his crotch.

He _would_ shoot back a teasing retort, but right now he’s as into giving this blowjob as Mickey is receiving it.

It’s unrushed and lazy, both of them simply enjoying the heavy pleasure for twenty minutes or so before Mickey’s stomach tenses in a familiar way, and then he lets out a heavy sigh as he comes down Ian’s throat, hot and in thin and generous spurts, enough so that Ian finally starts to wonder how much he’s got in him.

When Mickey finally finishes, he pulls off and looks at him, bewildered, “The fuck Mick?”

Mickey grins, not the slightest amount of guilt present on his handsome face. “Sorry, didn’t have time to jerk off since like, yesterday, and obviously we didn’t fuck last night, so…you got a double load” he smirks. “I think that was a triple” Ian snorts, “But _I_ did have time to jerk off after _I_ woke up _alone_ this morning, so unfortunately you won’t get as much of a throat coat”.

Without arguing, Mickey takes his turn sucking him off, a little more ardently than Ian did. Between Mickey working nights some days of the week, and their mismatched college schedules, it seemed like they had even less opportunity to fuck than when they lived in a house full of people.

And yet, moving in together had done nothing but increase their already high sex drives, so they had to make do with their own hands in between their sessions that involved pretty much any area of the apartment.

Ian had been making good on his promise to do Mickey in every single room.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey swirls the bright blue mouthwash around in his mouth with a couple of extra rounds for good measure before he spits out loudly into the porcelain sink, checking his breath when he’s done against his palm. Minty.

He gives himself another once over in the mirror, brushing off some of Mo’s long stray dog hair from his black dress shirt he’d paired with a maroon tie for his ‘date night’ with Ian. Of course, Ian didn’t know it was date night. Not yet.

When he comes into the apartment after school and sees Mickey standing there dressed rather nicely, he raises a ginger eyebrow in surprise, “Thought we were just celebrating here tonight” he states bluntly.

It was Ian’s eighteenth birthday, and Mickey had figured that now was a good a time as any to go on a date. A real date, just like him and Ian had talked about back in the summer at Camille’s wedding. They had casually gone out to eat here and there since then, maybe kissed once or twice in a take-out place, but this was different.

Mickey shakes his dark head, “We’re going out, get dressed”.

Ian doesn’t argue, and quickly drops his school backpack to head into their bedroom, digging through one of the drawers in their shared dresser for a nice button-down t-shirt. “Where are we going?” he asks curiously.

“Capital Grille” Mickey answers, noticing how Ian’s eyes light up at the mention of the swanky restaurant. Neither of them had ever actually been there, but it had a reputation of being a fancy steakhouse in an upscale neighborhood.

Which means they have to drive there. Ian whistles when they walk inside the place, clearly impressed, and Mickey swells a bit with pride, not that he lets that show. He acts casual, like he takes Ian out every day to places like this, because frankly, he would if he could.

He approaches the waiter at the front desk immediately, “Uh. Hey. Reservation under Milkovich?”

The waiter scans his sheet of reservations, his brown eyes glancing between them before he glances at the sheet again. “Are you here for the Alliance Investment business party?” he asks.

“No, I’m here on a fucking date, what’s it look like?” Mickey shoots back, but quickly realizing it sounds like he’s just being sarcastic, he clears his throat and firmly sets it straight. “Mil-ko-vich. Birthday reservation for my boyfriend and me? I called like five fucking days ago”

“Oh. Oh yes, of course” the waiter stammers a bit as he quickly apologizes, blushing red, “My mistake, similar last name on our list tonight. Let me take you to your table gentleman”. Mickey still acts annoyed just for the hell of it as him and Ian are escorted to a quiet table off in a corner, and the waiter seems to get even more flustered by Mickey’s attitude, because he quickly returns with an expensive bottle of wine for them to share as they peruse the menus.

“On the house” he adds hastily, pouring their glasses generously as Mickey arches a suspicious eyebrow at him.

“Well we aren’t wine drinkers, but thanks” Mickey says, taking a gulp of the dark red liquid. Being a whiskey drinker, its not exactly to his taste, but its not the worst fucking thing he’s tasted either. When the waiter leaves, Ian brings his glass to his nose, sniffing at it delicately. Mickey stares at him like he’s a fucking alien until he realizes what he’s doing.

“Tell me, Mikhailo, do you also detect notes of cherry, oak, and perhaps…apricot?” Ian asks, blinking at him inquisitively.

“The fuck is an apricot?” Mickey laughs, shaking his head at Ian’s impression of a haughty restaurant goer, but he keeps laughing when Ian nods with certainty, “A Riesling I presume”.

“Ian” he says, trying to get him to be serious.

“Yes, Mikhailo?”

“I love you”.

“I love you too, Mick”.

For once, Ian doesn’t give him shit about how expensive things are on the menu, and matches his order of a rare steak paired with grilled asparagus and mashed potatoes, the two of them eating with appreciative groans that Mickey decides he’ll have to pull from Ian again later. When the slice of chocolate gateau arrives with a silver candle flickering on top of it and two forks for them to share, Ian just looks at it for a minute, like he’s not sure what to do next.

“You uh, gonna blow it out? Make a wish or whatever?” Mickey asks when the waiter scuttles off. Ian looks up at him slowly, a soft smile on his lips. “What would I wish for Mick?” he asks sincerely.

-

It’s raining when they get home.

They are soaked through by the time Mickey kills the engine of his Enduro outside of their apartment, neither of them trying to saying a word to each other over the deafening rain.

As soon as Ian unlocks the door to their apartment, struggling a bit to hold the key firmly between his now slippery fingers, Mickey pushes him inside roughly, right around to the wall space immediately beside their front door, kissing his wet neck as they struggle to yank each other’s clothes off.

“I want you” Ian mumbles into his hungry lips, running his long fingers down over Mickey’s pale chest right before he turns around to bend over for him. “Yeah?” Mickey asks breathlessly.

He had been ready to let Ian take him right there, right by the front door, but something about the way Ian’s eyes are falling down heavily towards his rising dick tells him tonight is different.

Ian nods fervently, crashing his mouth back against his while they stumble around in the dark apartment towards their bedroom, a loud crack of thunder and then lightening flashing outside of their window right as they fall to the mattress together, the old bedsprings giving a slight creak at their combined weights.

Mickey reaches past Ian in the dark for the bottle of lube still on their nightstand from that morning while they continue to make out, expertly opening it with one hand while the other holds Ian’s jaw lovingly.

When he reaches down towards Ian’s ass gently with his middle finger, he finds the muscles relaxed and accepting of the intrusion, and Ian stays quiet until the second finger goes in, finally groaning a bit in pleasure as Mickey flicks his fingers together slowly in an upwards motion.

It’s hard for Mickey to be patient, to keep it together, when Ian’s making those low and sexual sounds right underneath him, because all he wants to do is bury himself deep inside of the other boy, but tonight’s not the night for that.

He takes his time opening Ian up, one finger and then two, one finger and then two. His boyfriend doesn’t rush him at all, both of them patiently panting into each other’s lips with want, letting it build to even greater wavelengths.

When Ian moves his head to the side of Mickey’s neck to put his cool lips against his throbbing pulse point, Mickey freezes for just a moment as Ian sucks and then bites gently into his pale skin, feeling a rush of blood go past his neck and back up to the head on his shoulders.

Ian doesn’t stop biting, kissing, exploring Mickey’s neck hungrily as Mickey pushes inside of him slowly, letting out a rush of held breath when he bottoms out entirely, Ian accepting his length with just a single whimper of pain.

Slow. And gentle, Mickey reminds himself.

He rests his elbows on either side of Ian’s chest, pressing his forehead down against the soft and familiar ginger hairs on Ian’s chest while he slowly arches his back to push in and out, feeling Ian’s muscles encasing him in a grip that almost does him in right away.

Ian’s rock-hard cock wedged between their pressed together stomachs is just another mind fuck, and Mickey suddenly wishes he could bend enough to blow Ian at the same time too. He just wants to rock his world tonight, make his eighteenth birthday unforgettable.

But maybe Ian’s thinking the same thing. “Are you...? _Fuck_ ” Mickey breathes out, feeling Ian purposely squeeze his muscles tighter around his thick length. “You feel so good inside me” Ian groans, arching his back upwards again as Mickey’s lips return to his again.

Mickey bites Ian’s bottom lip gently and holds on with his teeth as he fucks him more steadily, building a cadence that soon has them panting and grunting in unison.

Ian’s eyes are shutting repeatedly, his mouth opening and closing with pleasure, but Mickey doesn’t want that. He wants him focused, exactly on him, so he grabs Ian’s head with his hands, training his gaze on Ian’s as his green eyes fly open again and immediately lock onto his.

“Oh…oh fuck Mick” he gasps, the sweaty red hair on his forehead almost covering one of his eyes from his pleasured thrashing. Mickey moves his hand for just a second to smooth it back, never breaking their visual hold on each other and Ian cries out over his shoulder, coming up Mickey’s chest while he orgasms deep inside of him, keeping his thrusts going until it almost hurts and wishing he could come again.

Sweaty and practically shaking from the intensity of their sex, the two of them continue to kiss as they find themselves side by side in the bed again, the rain still dripping onto their windowsill, almost loud enough to drown out any residual sounds they are making as they come back down from their highs.

Ian finally lowers his forehead down to Mickey’s parted lips in exhaustion, his breath continuously deepening and slowing as Mickey presses his nose down into his damp red hair, stroking it gently with his free hand, the other holding Ian closer as his boyfriend falls asleep.


	93. The Balls To Say It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *3 Years Later*  
> Finishing school and launching their careers makes it hard to find time for their relationship sometimes. An issue with a coworker puts Mickey in the spotlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, 3 years later :) Time jumps will be occurring in some chapters going forward but I will mark each one carefully to make that clear. As a refresher, Ian & Mickey first hooked up when they were 16 &17\. They are 21 & 22 now.

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey rolls his eyes at the bossy text flashing across his phone screen from Ian, “ **Don’t forget the milk!! Again!!** ” Thumbing back, “ **Calm your tits Gallagher** ”, he’s distracted when the car door opposite him opens again.

“Here” Tony says, offering him a tall coffee while he slides back into the cruiser. “I didn’t ask for shit” Mickey says, but he sniffs at the coffee anyways.

“Black?” he asks, tossing his cigarette butt out the window. “Course, that’s how you take it right?” Tony asks in return, hesitating before he turns the key in the ignition.

“Yeah, sure, whatever” Mickey answers, sipping at it. Fucking Starbucks crap. It always tastes burnt to him. But it’s free, so he sips at it anyways while him and Tony head back to the station at Jackson and Loomis.

After getting a passing certificate from his police foundations class, he had made it through the nerve wracking selection process of getting into the actual Chicago Police Training Division, and now after finishing his grueling physical training, was onto his months of training with another experienced officer before he would graduate as one himself.

He had been working with Tony for a couple weeks now, almost, as much as he hated to admit it, like an assistant.

Tony was assigned to the rougher South Side neighborhoods, always had been, and Mickey, because of his FUCK U-UP tattoos and general intimidating appearance, along with his history there, was an obvious fit for the area as well.

He knew that a big part of the reason he got in to the actual Training Division was because of the recommendation Rob had made for him from back in Memphis, but he also had his suspicions about the Chicago police chief having something to do with his acceptance.

Chief Henderson was the father of some fag Mickey used to go to highschool with.

Bradley or _whatever-the-fuck-his-name-was_ , was never a fan of Mickey’s and the feeling was downright mutual, but Mickey and Ian had been out and public for a few years now, and maybe the Chief gave special consideration for him because of that.

Either way, Mickey wouldn’t look a gift horse in the fucking mouth. He was done with his years of next to minimum wage security and onto his wages as a training police officer, a significant improvement in his mind.

He was still a bit of a rookie, without an official badge or anything yet, but he knew Ian was proud of him and that meant a lot.

Tony stops at the West Jackson station to get a thick stack of paperwork before they separate for the day, shoving it towards Mickey with a wink. “All yours Milkovich”.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Mickey thumbs through the case reports, annoyed. This was at least an entire fucking day of paperwork. “I’ll do it tomorrow” he finally grunts, Tony shrugging, “Guess you won’t be in the cruiser then. We’re supposed to be doing a stakeout at the Cemak place”.

Mickey quickly glances upwards at the mention of a stake out. Since he’d given up his own less than legal habits, he found he could still get the rush he used to, the sick thrill, from taking down _other_ criminals.

He grabs the stack of files to take home with himself, not willing to give up the Cemak stakeout for this bullshit, and heads home to his and Ian’s place on Holstead. Ian’s at the sink doing dishes when he opens the door, and he immediately turns around with a questioning tone.

“Milk?”

“Shit”.

“Every fucking time Mick” Ian says, rolling his eyes over Mickey’s scrunched face.

“Start drinking your coffee black” he grumbles back, heading to their kitchen table to drop off his paperwork. “That all yours?” Ian asks, coming over with a raised eyebrow as Mickey sits down. His hands are still warm and a little soapy.

“If I get it done tonight, I can go on the stakeout tomorrow at Cemak” Mickey explains, grabbing a pen while he opens the first petty theft file. “Oh…I was thinking we could go out tonight. Catch a movie or something” Ian admits, disappointed. Mickey sighs, “I’d like to, but it’s a good opportunity man. You wouldn’t have given up on any of your first ambulance runs, would you?”

Ian immediately shakes his head. He’s still in training too, technically, but he _is_ certified as an EMT and just continuing his training as a Paramedic. Mickey had always thought they were the same thing, but apparently Paramedics could do more advanced shit on the scene.

He liked the EMT uniform on Ian, but although he didn’t consciously realize it, he missed the days when Ian would wear his camo uniform for ROTC. He’d never gotten over that kink, but sometimes found himself buying Ian camo t-shirts and briefs on more than one occasion, and then eagerly ripping them off of him later.

“I’ll make it up to you” he promises distractedly, while Ian scrolls through his phone beside him. “Oh look! Camille uploaded a new picture of their baby!” he says excitedly.

Mickey barely glances up at the photo of a drooling infant on Ian’s screen that he’s holding in front of his face, spawn of his old foster parent.

“Fantastic”.

“God he’s cute. Devin” Ian grins, shaking his head. “Wish they asked us to be the godparents, but, of course it makes sense she would ask Rob and his girlfriend” he reasons aloud. “Mhmm” Mickey answers. He frowns at the scrawled notes on the arrest report, noting two different times of booking. Which fucking one was it?

He reads back over the file and selects the earlier time frame, hoping it’s correct, while Ian continues to chatter. Finally, after about an hour of reading and rereading the same case report distractedly, Mickey snaps, “Ian, I’m trying to _work_. Can we talk later? Please? Fuck.”

Ian looks crestfallen, “Oh. Yeah. Sorry Mick”. He slinks off towards the couch sadly and Mickey can only stand about five minutes of him sitting there and looking fucking pathetic like that before he ditches the case reports with a sigh. A few cans of Redbull, and he can do them while Ian’s sleeping tonight.

They’d been spending way too much time apart, and Ian was being clingier than usual as a result.

“Just so distracting, you know?” Mickey flirts, pressing his palms on Ian’s knees and leaning in towards him with a raised eyebrow, “Having your sexy body that close to me when I’m trying to work. The fuck am I supposed to do, huh?” Thankfully his flirting works, and Ian almost immediately comes around.

“I have a few ideas” he smirks, reaching forward to rub Mickey through the thick material of his uniform pants. Rubbing turns into groping, groping turns into grinding, and grinding turns into fucking. Loud fucking. They hear the neighbor below them banging on the ceiling with a broomstick, but Mickey just sticks his head near the vent and yells, “Fuck off” into it, while Ian continues to pound him.

Mickey sits propped up in their bed that night, still scribbling corrections into the case reports while Ian lays snoring softly in his sleep beside him. Every so often, Mickey’s eyes drift over to the redhead sleepily, who almost seems to have a haze around him, he’s so perfect.

He’d rather study the redhead’s freckles, his pale skin, his pink lips, than these fucking reports…

He wakes up in the morning with a start, swearing when Ian comes back into the bedroom to look at him in surprise, brushing his teeth. “What’s wrong?” he asks, minty foam around his mouth from the toothpaste.

“I fucking fell asleep and didn’t finish my paperwork! Tony’s gonna be a fucking dick about it, just you wait” Mickey swears, going to pull on his slightly rumpled uniform. He’d have to skip the ironing today. And a shower. Fuck.

Tony doesn’t question him until they are already on the stakeout, and the way he keeps looking over at him annoys Mickey. “How were the case reports?” he finally asks, as Mickey yawns. “Look, I didn’t get them done. I’ll finish them tonight, alright? Promise” he admits, too tired to be defensive about it.

Tony just keeps looking at him, “It’s okay” he finally says, reaching over to touch his knee gently.

Mickey frowns at his hand, but Tony removes it almost as quickly as he put it there, and Mickey starts to wonder if he just imagined that shit because he was so damn tired.

Their stake out doesn’t help, it’s pushing twelve hours and they haven’t moved, but Tony did let him nap for a bit at least. The boredom soon starts to push in past the tiredness, but it’s not like he can do anything about that either. When on a stakeout, they have to shut off their personal phones so they don’t get distracted and miss anything.

Mickey pulls down the mirror to look at his face while Tony continues to peer out at the dark house, finally commenting, “I look like shit”. The bags under his eyes are dark and puffy, and he’s so tired he looks like someone hit him in the head with a brick. There’s no way he can go forty-eight hours like this again without sleep. He’s running low on smokes too, and wishing he brought a fresh pack.

Tony’s eyes are off the house and on him now, and Mickey’s pretty sure he knows as well as he does by now that the house is empty tonight. There hasn’t been a flicker of movement, a light, anything, and he’s hoping he calls the stakeout off soon.

“No, you look good. Really good” Tony says with a flashing grin. He tips his head for a second, like he’s thinking, and then after a quick “fuck it” he’s leaning in towards him, his fucking hand on his knee again. Mickey swears, “What the _f-“_

Tony’s lips press against his before he finishes his sentence, and Mickey’s shoving him violently across the cruiser a second later. He pants heavily, the other police officer raising an eyebrow at him in surprise. Mickey raises one right back, “What the fuck was that!” he demands.

“I just thought-“

“You thought fucking wrong! Jesus fucking Christ, everyone knows I’ve been with Ian for almost the past six fucking years. And aren’t you fucking straight? You dated Ian’s fucking sister!”

If Mickey was tired before, he’s not anymore, he’s fucking rattled.

Tony actually seems genuinely surprised right now, the rejection not phasing him emotionally, just mentally, “First of all, no, I haven’t been with another girl since Fiona. And that was like eight years ago. She turned me gay. Second of all, that’s kinda why I thought you’d be interested. Who doesn’t get curious, you’ve been with him since you guys were practically kids! I’m sure Ian’s fucked around at least once”.  

“First of all, you don’t turn fucking gay” Mickey shoots back, “And no, I’m not fucking curious. And neither is he. I should kick your ass just for saying that, prick”.

But he won’t, because they have to work together. And both of them know that. He settles for exhaling angrily from his nostrils and shoving the car door open, “This stake out is done”. Tony leans out towards him, calling, “You don’t want a ride home at least?”

“No! Go fuck yourself!” Mickey slams the door in his face, and he fumes the entire way home until he reaches his and Ian’s front door. There’s a text from Tony on his phone, and he reads it before he goes inside. “ **Listen, I’m really sorry. Didn’t mean anything by it, let’s keep it cool at work. No hard feelings?”**

**“Fine. But if you ever touch me, kiss me, or even fucking look at me like that again, u know what’ll happen** ”. He sends the warning text and then carefully conceals his emotions before he unlocks the apartment door and goes inside.

 Ian’s sitting on the couch watching TV when he comes in, and Mickey smiles at him, “Hey”.

“Hey. Long day, huh? Come watch Rick and Morty with me”.

Mickey obediently joins him on the couch, but when Ian kisses him, he can’t help but think about what Tony said. About half way through the episode, right after Ian laughs at something he’s too distracted to find funny, he casually asks, “You, uh, ever think about being with other guys? Because we got together so young?”

Ian snorts at the question, “No? We weren’t that young. Not to bring that shit up, but I had my fill before I met you, I know there isn’t something better out there”. Mickey nods, but Ian’s eyes suddenly flash towards him, worried, “Why, do you?”

“No” Mickey immediately answers, “Just wanted to uh, make sure”. Ian still looks perturbed, but he finally nods, “Okay”.

They sit in silence for a few more minutes before Mickey awkwardly gets up, “Gonna have a shower” he tells Ian. Usually Ian would join him, or at least ask to, but he just nods again. So Mickey showers by himself, a nice long hot one, trying to shove away the ugly image Tony had put in his head.

They had been together a long time. For Mickey, the sex had never changed, never got less intense, he was as heated around Ian as he had been since day one. And beyond that, he only fell more in love with him as the years went on.

But what if Ian got bored? What if he wanted to find something new to stick his dick in, more exciting?

He’s mulling over all of this, thinking he’s really gonna let Ian rail him tonight, when he hears their front door slam shut over the sound of the pounding water. He cranks the water off, “Ian?” he calls. But he only hears Mo come padding towards the door at the sound of his voice. He grabs a towel and quickly dries himself as he takes a few seconds to peer around their apartment, determining that Ian did in fact leave.

The TV is still on though. Strange. Except Mickey sees his phone on the couch, and not where he left it on the coffee table. Fuck. Ian had read his texts.

He rarely did that shit, but apparently his line of questioning tonight made Ian feel it was warranted. Knowing Ian, he’s probably headed to Tony’s house right now, he knows where he lives. Right beside his old place.

He’s got a head start, but Mickey figures he took the bus, so he’ll beat him there on his motorcycle.

Wrong. When he gets to Tony’s house, Ian’s already on the front lawn shouting at him, and Tony is up on the porch, yelling right back. He’s in his fucking pajamas, Ian must have woken him up.

“What the FUCK makes you think you can make a move on MY fucking boyfriend!”

“Oh get real Ian” Tony shoots back, putting up his fists as Ian starts to advance on him. Mickey quickly kills his engine, walking over to Ian and grabbing his arm roughly to stop his assault.

“How the fuck did you get here so fast?” he asks, bewildered. Ian’s red in the face, still shaking with anger, “I took a fucking cab!” he shouts back.

Mickey yawns from exhaustion, “Listen, can we agree to drop this shit? Tony’s a fucking idiot, but he’s not in love with me or anything. And obviously, you already know I fucking turned him down Ian” he says, slightly disappointed in Ian for going through his phone.

Tony laughs in disbelief, “Your boyfriend’s a psycho Mick. All Gallaghers are. Trust me, I would know! Fucking can’t keep it in their pants, and if you think this one’s gonna stick around forever, you’re wrong. I’m sure he’s said the same crap to you that Fiona said to me. And no, I’m not in love with you, I was bored and horny and that’s about it”.

“That’s IT!” Ian fumes.

Mickey had let go of Ian during Tony’s amused little rant, the words catching him off guard, and Ian took the opportunity to surge forward and clock Tony right in the fucking face. “You’re fucking pathetic, trying to hook up with someone who’s taken. And more than that, you’re fucking wrong” he spits at Tony, the two of them pushing apart after a quick tussle.

“I’d fucking marry Mick, if he ever got the balls to ask me!” Ian shouts, turning around and aiming his rage back at Mickey.

“Whoa, why the fuck are you turning this around on me? I didn’t fucking do anything!” Mickey says in disbelief.

“Because, if _you_ aren’t fucking bored, what are you waiting for Mick? What the fuck are _we_ waiting for? We _live_ together. We’ve been together for almost six fucking years, and all you ever do is make jokes when I try and bring this shit up”.

“If we were married I wouldn’t be able to call you Gallagher anymore” Mickey jokes weakly, his eyes widening when he realizes his mistake.

The redhead is blazing again, “THAT! THAT IS WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!”

Tony lifts his hands, “This fight isn’t even about me. I’m going inside. See you at work Mickey”. He disappears and sure enough, Ian doesn’t protest, keeping his burning gaze focused right on Mickey.

“Ian” Mickey says slowly, “You are literally screaming on my co-worker’s front lawn, in the middle of the fucking night, ready to kill someone. How could I ever get bored of you? And you’ve never said that before, that you wanted to marry _me_ ”.

Ian pauses, not sure what to do next, he seems caught off guard by how calm Mickey is about the topic. “Didn’t you know?”

“I… maybe, yeah, but we’ve never actually really talked about it”.

It was true. They had always skirted around the topic, had been for years. Awkwardly talking about the idea of marriage, but never about _themselves_ actually doing it.

Ian seems to be coming down from his rage, but he’s still breathing heavily, looking around in the dark like he’s ready to fight again if he needs to as he approaches him.

“Would you?” he asks.

“Marry you?” The words sound strange in Mickey’s mouth. Foreign, even thought he’d thought about it a dozen times before, at least. He shakes his head as he thinks about how much he’s changed.

 

Maybe Ian thinks that’s his answer, because he starts yelling, quickly getting riled up again, and he’s in Mickey’s face, shoving a finger at him.

“HERE WE GO AGAIN. FOR FUCKS SAKE I-“

Mickey shoves him down to the damp grass roughly, putting a knee on Ian’s chest to restrain him as he yells over him, “WILL YOU FUCKIN MARRY ME!” Ian’s eyes quickly dart around and he shuts up immediately, freezing as he asks, “…What?”

“I said, will you fucking marry me” Mickey repeats, slowly and carefully. There’s lights on in the Gallagher house now, and in a few neighbor’s places, and although it seems like they are alone, he knows people are listening.

Well, there it is, their fucking engagement announcement. At one a.m. in the South Side.

Ian sniffs, “Well do you actually want to, or are you just saying that because-“

“Ian, I’ve wanted this since I was a fucking teenager. Whether I realized it then or not. I got the balls to ask, are you gonna have the balls to fucking say yes?”

Ian stares at him for a second, maybe trying to determine if he’s being sincere, before he launches upwards with a “yes”, changing their places and pinning Mickey to the ground as he brings his mouth to his lips, hot and heavy from his shouting.

They wrestle on the grass for a few moments, ripping and pulling each other’s clothes off before the cool grass against Mickey’s skin reminds him they are still on Tony’s front lawn. He reaches over to his pocket, gripping the keys for the cruiser parked on the side of the road.

He jingles them and Ian drags him upwards towards the car, practically throwing him into it as soon as he opens the door. “Oh…fuck” Mickey moans as Ian bites at his throat, his hands roaming all his chest and belly roughly before he brings his mouth there, kissing it while he pulls Mickey’s pants down and out of the way.

They scramble around in the cruiser for about half a minute before Ian manages to get situated behind him properly, entering him almost immediately without warning, causing Mickey to gasp with pain and then quickly pleasure, the moisture on their sweaty skin making the entry easier.

Ian is his fiancé. His _fiancé_ is fucking him right now. “Oh fuck, fuck…” he groans again, no other words managing to make their words past his brain circuit.

His earlier plans of having Ian rail him are more than taking place, the redhead humps into him relentlessly, kissing the back and sides of his neck hotly the entire time with need. The cruiser quickly gets humid and the windows fog, the entire car rocking with the impact of their intensity as their moans get louder, Mickey finally gripping one of the bars to steady himself as Ian’s mouth reaches his ear again.

“Say it” he whispers, trembling as he continues to fuck deep into him. Mickey is on the brink of his orgasm, practically unable to form a coherent thought let alone two words, but Ian insists, his second request stronger, “Say it!”

Mickey groans as the orgasm rips through him, “Marry me. Fucking marry me Ian”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams* Please Shameless


	94. 'Gallavich'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey prepare for their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been waiting to write these chapters for months. Fuck I love these two. Thank you again, so much, to everyone that reads this fic and especially those of you who comment religiously, it always helps! Thankyou! <3

***Ian’s POV***

“So…Mickey asked me to marry him last night”.

Ian is sitting at the kitchen table in the old Gallagher house, breaking his exciting news to his siblings in the calmest manner possible so they don’t see how surprised he is that it finally happened. He never wanted to be doubtful of his relationship with Mickey, but he wasn’t sure they would ever actually reach this point, which had fueled the frustration behind their argument on Tony’s front lawn the previous night.

Liam, eight now, is smiling innocently at his fantastic news, but the rest of them are more or less…smirking.

“What?” Ian asks in annoyance, looking around the table. He can’t imagine what’s funny about that.

“We kind of fucking heard you last night” Carl says with an amused laugh, and Ian reddens a bit. He vaguely remembers seeing a light go on inside his old house last night.

“Yeah, you were going apeshit on Tony, we all heard that. And then Mickey showed up and you screamed at him for a while too-“ Fiona says, but then Liam pitches in happily and cuts her off, “And then Mickey asked you to marry him!”

“He did” Ian admits, cheeks still flushed. No wonder they looked amused.

“So here’s my question” Lip adds, sticking a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it before he continues around it, “You guys got a little louder after that, which I’m sure you remember. And though I’m sure there must be some law against fucking in a police officer’s car…did you say yes? That’s the one part I never heard”.

“It’s Mickey’s cruiser” Ian says defensively, “And obviously, I said yes”.

“With your dick” Carl smirks, the rest of the Gallaghers rolling their eyes except for Liam, who blushes a bit. Even growing up around all his crazy siblings, he remained a quiet and thoughtful kid, still always a fan of his older brother’s boyfriend.

“Wow Ian, that’s really great. I mean, obviously, we all expected to see this happen someday, but with Mickey being your boyfriend…” Fiona trails off but Ian shrugs, “You never know with him. He’s surprised me a lot over the years”. From him making the first move, to dating him, to coming out for him more than once, Mickey had without a doubt sacrificed a lot for the relationship.

“It’s not that we ever doubted he loved you, I mean that’s fucking obvious, but settling into the married life is something completely different. Did you guys talk about when you want to have the wedding yet?” she asks.

Ian nods, “September next year. Around the time we first got together. But other than that, we don’t have much planned. It’s only been a day since he asked”.

Debbie suddenly starts flapping her hands excitedly, and all of them turn to look at her like she’s nuts. “Ian! Can I please help plan the wedding? We’ve been talking about future careers in highschool and-“

Ian cuts her off, “Debs I would love that, but Mandy kind of beat you to the punchline. Mickey called her earlier and practically she begged to help plan it”.

“Mandy? Isn’t she like…” Lip trails off and Ian shrugs uncomfortably, “She said she’s clean right now”. Mickey’s younger sister had gone off the deep end the past few years, disappearing for months at a time before coming back stick-thin and sick, but then she’d get right back into her heroin habits. They were both surprised she wanted to help plan the wedding, but Mickey thought it might be good for her, having something else to focus on, so they had agreed to it.

Debbie looks a little disappointed, but she nods her understanding.

It turns out she had nothing to be disappointed about, because much to Ian and Mickey’s, Mandy disappeared again about two months after they announced their engagement. They waited for a few weeks to hear from her, and Mickey searched for her relentlessly, but like always she had disappeared without a trace.

So it was back to Debbie, and with around ten months left to plan a wedding, she was in full Debbie mode, organized and efficient.

Ian and Mickey on the other hand, had other things to focus on in the meantime. Within a few months of their engagement they ended their monthly lease on the Holstead apartment and moved again, into a bigger apartment, closer to the southside where their families lived. Now that they were almost done with school, they could move back to a less expensive neighborhood again and begin saving for the wedding.

Then within two months of the move, Ian finished his training at Malcolm X to be a paramedic, and shortly after Mickey graduated from the Chicago Police Training Academy as Officer Milkovich.

Ian let Mickey fuck _him_ that night, and he quickly realized that as long as Mickey came home wearing that uniform, he’d always have a hard time keeping his hands off of him. He was unbelievably sexy in it, and Ian couldn’t remember ever being prouder, or more turned on, than the moment Mickey walked across the stage and was given his badge by Chief Henderson.

Becoming a paramedic might have seemed less exciting without a ceremony to mark it, but it was just as much of an accomplishment, something his family and Mickey had made clear with their pride. Life was coming together nicely for the two of them, but Ian never quite got over the idea of calling Mickey his fiancé. He’d throw it into conversations at work, at home, just so he could feel the pleasant word on the tip of his tongue.

Not until September neared, and he realized soon he’d be calling him his _husband._

-

“Okay” Debbie says very seriously, laying out various photos in front of them. “Which ones do you like? I laid them out from least to most expensive”.

Ian looks at the pictures of the blooming and extravagant flowers placed in front of them, and then over at Mickey, who seems just as confused as he is.

“Why do we need flowers?” he asks for the both of them.

“It’s a wedding?” she says, like they’re stupid. “Fine, I’ll choose. Color?”

Ian thinks, “White?” he asks in Mickey’s general direction. His fiancé shrugs, “Sure. Just tone it down…none of those crazy bouquets and shit alright? The whole point of this is that there’s no fuckin bride”.

Debbie laughs. She had taken over the role of wedding planner after Mandy flaked out on them, and she took it very seriously. At sixteen, she had it impressively all planned out, often bringing them pictures to choose from of things they would never have even fucking thought of, like chairs for the guests, a dinner space, accents, and now flowers.

For the most part, they let her take the creative lead.

“You do the invitations yet?” Mickey finally asks, Debbie nodding her head, “I have this so far for the outside and I'll have them finished by this weekend most likely”.

He nods, “Get rid of the stars and shit and it's good. We want you to scan and put this stuff inside them too”.

Ian watches with a smile as he hands over two articles they’d kept safe over the years, one, the torn piece of poster board with their names scrawled on it from grade 11, **_Mickey & Ian, _**two, the background photo of them from Facebook, sitting together at the back of the bus on the Oak Forest trip.

It wasn’t coincidence that they had planned their wedding to take place at the campgrounds, in late September.

The girl who was front and centre in the picture, their old classmate Jessica, thought the invitation idea was great and adamantly agreed to it, as long as she could come to the wedding.

Debbie nods as she stands up, “I can do that. I have to get to school, or…should I go with you to the cake tasting?”

“No, go to school” Mickey says, smirking as him and Ian go to get his motorcycle. Debbie had picked out a quaint bakery for them to go to, Rosa’s, and this was without a doubt, the part of planning the wedding that Mickey was the most excited about.

Ian can’t help but laugh at his fiancés rapidly changing expression as he eats the different pieces of cake in front of them, making little sounds of appreciation in his throat after each one.

“Well, Mr. Gallagher, Mr. Milkovich? Have we come to a decision?” Rosa asks.

“They’re all fucking delicious” Mickey says, licking some smeared vanilla buttercream icing off his finger. Rosa blushes at the compliment, and Ian nods, “I think we should go with the chocolate one over here though, but maybe the espresso icing instead of the peanut butter?”

“A-fucking-men” Mickey agrees, swiping them together to try. She nods, “Excellent. Any writing? I have a cake topper here for-“

Mickey cuts her off, “Paint that one’s hair red”.

Ian laughs, of the two plastic grooms, they both have black hair. “We don’t need writing” he grins, Mickey raising his eyebrow at the two plastic men again.

-

They celebrate their bachelor party together a couple weeks before the wedding.

Iggy thinks he’s being a great brother by planning it a gay strip club for them, but clearly he didn’t take into consideration that both Ian and Mickey were extremely jealous men by nature.

“Touch him and I’ll break every fucking finger in your hand” Mickey snarls when a stripper offers to give Ian a lap dance.

“Thought you didn’t like blondes” Ian said bitchily, raising an eyebrow at his fiancé as he’s watching a well muscled and oiled dancer work a pole a few feet in front of them.

Mickey raises an eyebrow right back, “I don’t. Sorry, am I interrupting you from staring at the dude in the assless chaps? My bad” he hisses.

After they both snap at each other a couple more times for looking a little too long or a little too hard at one of the strippers, they end up fucking each other in the bathroom.

When they come out panting, with messy hair and blissed out eyes, Lip suggests they just go drink at the Alibi for the rest of the night.

It’s a great fucking night.

Mickey gets so trashed by the end of it that he ends up drunkenly confessing to Lip multiple times, “I’m, I’m gonna marry your brother some day. I am”.

“I know you are” Lip smiled, thinking back to a few years earlier when Mickey had been just as shit faced…

_When Ian comes back downstairs a while later, after he finishes cleaning up, he sees Mickey had gotten even deeper into V’s shots of vodka, as he dances beside her with abandon._

_“Iannnn... there’s Ian” he says, raising his hand to point at him in excitement. V laughs, “I know honey, look at that handsome redhead”. Mickey nods his head, biting his bottom lip, “He’s all mine. Fuck he does me good”._

_Ian blushes as he grabs another beer for himself, noticing the surprised and amused look on Lip’s face at Mickey’s drunken admission. Mickey notices too._

_“I’m gonna mmm… someday…” he mumbles and trails off as he addresses Lip, “…Your brother”._

_“Is that so?” Lip chuckles, amused._

Now Lip realizes with a grin what he was trying to say to him about Ian.

-

“Will you make up your fucking mind?” Mickey demands, as Ian shakes his head once more and scrawls onto the paper again. “Will you fucking help?” he shoots back.

“I already told you, I’m fine with either, just as long as we both have the same last name. This is just for documents anyways”.

Mickey mashes his cigarette into the ashtray in front of him.

Ian stares at the page, Gallagher-Milkovich, Milkovich-Gallagher. He had even jokingly mashed their two last names together with ‘Gallavich’ while trying to decide what they should go by, but Mickey had rolled his blue eyes at that.

“I think Gallagher-Milkovich sounds better” Ian finally decides, Mickey nodding his approval.

-

They visit their old place on Roger’s street the week before their wedding, and Ian kicks back with a beer on an old milk crate to watch while Mickey sprays his last design over the concrete walls. Being a police officer, his days of tagging were long gone, but last night they had decided on doing this one last private work of art, in their spot.

He’s drawing a long timeline across the gray and cracking walls, shaking his paint can repeatedly as he continues. Every so often, he makes a small bump in the line, like a pulse on a monitor. When he’s finished that, he sprays a few words above each bump, starting with ‘ _Oak Forest’_ at the first one.

There’s a lot of milestones they shared over the years, some more significant than others. But he looks back every so often for a nod of approval from Ian during his additions, like _together, Memphis, out, Ephraim, graduation_ , right up until he reaches the second last bump.

Ian comes up behind him, watching as he carefully writes out, _Mickey asks Ian to marry him_. He gently takes the can away from Mickey when he’s done, and adds to the very last bump on the timeline himself.

_Ian says yes_

The entire line ends where they had once spray painted, _MM_ +IG, and this time, despite Mickey’s teasing, Ian does add a forever.

-

Mickey smiles as Ian crawls up onto their bed over him, a lustful grin on his face as he playfully headbutts him to get him to put his phone down.

Ian grinds up a little against his thigh with his semi when that fails, and Mickey raises an eyebrow in amusement.

“Really Ian, what do you take me for? It’s the night before our wedding, I need to stay fucking chaste”.

Ian laughs, pulling Mickey into a playful wrestle on their bed. “Mickey, I’ve been banging you for almost seven years. Besides, God doesn’t see what happens in the back door” he jokes.

“This is different, Ian. I won’t fuck you again until you’re my husband” Mickey says firmly, pushing him away like he’s being annoying. “Really?” Ian asks, pausing for a moment. He can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but Mickey can’t keep his serious face for long, and he soon bursts out laughing.

“Fuck no, get on me”.

Ian collapses almost as soon as he’s done, flopping down onto their bed beside Mickey, both of them looking up at the ceiling above them and shaking their heads in amazement while they pant.

Could it even get better than this?

After a few quiet minutes of regaining their breath, Mickey stretches to put his head behind his hands, laying out more comfortably. “You excited?” he asks casually, but his own voice is almost wavering.

Ian turns to look at him, studying his familiar profile for a while, before he answers truthfully. “I’m…more than excited. I don’t know what to say”.

“Neither do I” Mickey admits, as Ian comes over slowly to lay on his chest. Both of them lay there quietly until they fall asleep, neither of them commenting on how fast their hearts are beating.

Because they next time they go to sleep together, they’ll be married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's not clear italicized text indicates it's writing from a previous chapter aka 'a flashback' :) The only other time I will use italics like that is for songs, and of course there are some in the wedding.  
> Also, the idea for the spray-painted timeline comes from the show 'switched at birth' <3


	95. The Moment We've All Been Waiting For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey, get married :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there reader! Today you are cordially invited to attend the wedding celebration of Ian Clayton Gallagher and Mikhailo Alexsandr Milkovich as an honored guest! 
> 
> Mickey: Yeah, sit down and shut up. I got some things I want to say to Gallagher before we make this thing official.  
> Ian: Jesus Mick, could you be any ruder to our guests?  
> Mickey: I could try.  
> Ian: Sorry about that. Anyways, hope you have a good time watching me and Mick say sappy shit to each other, put some rings on our fingers, and join us afterwards for some beer and barbeque yeah? Maybe some dancing too ;)  
> Mickey: Fuck. Okay, here we are on the morning of the wedding or whatever. And Ian quit winking at the readers it's weird.

***Mickey’s POV***

“Wake up wake up wake up!”

Mickey groans, groggily waking up to the sound of Ian’s cheerful voice and some song by The Cure blaring from his iPhone. He watches Ian dance around their room for a moment in confusion before he remembers, bolting directly upwards in bed.

“Holy shit”.

“Yeah, holy shit!” Ian exclaims, slapping him on the cheeks playfully, and rolling the volume up to _Just Like Heaven_ on his phone, “I’ve been awake for like two hours, but I wanted to let you sleep in for a while. It’s…it’s a big day” he says breathlessly.

The grin stretching across his face is ridiculously happy, and it makes Mickey smile into his hand softly before he gets up. He lifts a dark eyebrow and tips his head towards Ian’s phone.

“I wake up in the 80’s or something?”

“Oh come on Mick, it’s a classic” Ian grins, mouthing along to the words ‘Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you? That I'm in love with you?’ as Mickey gets out of their bed, throwing the puffy black comforter to the side and shaking his head in amusement.

“I do know, actually. Kinda why we’re fucking getting married today”.

Ian tosses his phone back onto the bed, cutting the upbeat song short with a sense of purpose. “Yes…which is why we need to get going. I told Debbie we’d be at the house by 12:30”. “What time is it now?” Mickey yawns, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye.

“12:10”.

“Fuck Ian, there’s sleeping in and then there’s…fuck. I’m gonna shower real quick, can you grab our stuff and bring the Enduro out front?”

Ian nods, and Mickey tosses him his keys before heading into their bathroom and cranking on the shower dial impatiently. He steps underneath the hot spray with a sigh, letting it beat into his muscles and wake him up.

But as he wakes up, the tiredness is replaced by the feeling of butterflies in his stomach, flitting around nervously while he thinks about today. He’s getting married. Actually fucking getting married.

He breathes out deeply, soaping his dark hair up again before he rinses it out once more and then shakes his head like a wet dog, willing himself to chill the fuck out.

It’s Ian, he reminds himself. Ian.

_“I could eat” Mickey answers enthusiastically, also reaching in and breaking the Snickers bar Ian had bought for him earlier in half, handing him the other piece. They go from lovers back to best friends, the strong core of their relationship._

_Hungrier than he had realized, Ian jams the chocolate into his cheeks, and grins as Mickey’s face breaks into an amused smile, “You look like a fuckin chipmunk”._

_Ian swallows and clears his throat. “Are you saying you’re sexually attracted to chipmunks?” he teases, taking Mickey by the hips again._

_Mickey raises his eyebrows as he looks back at him, his own voice playful. “You really want me to make some joke about my nuts and your cheeks? Cause I will Gallagher”._ _He laughs as Ian reaches behind him to grab his perfect ass, “I’m always up for talking about cheeks”._

When he hears Ian calling for him a few minutes later, he gets out of the shower with a grin.

It’s Ian.

***Ian’s POV***

They are at the Gallagher house for the next few hours, everyone whirring around the crowded space and getting their stuff together for the wedding after a quick lunch whipped up by Debbie, everyone including all of the Gallagher siblings, their neighbors Kev and V, Mo, Mickey’s siblings Iggy and Mandy, Rob and his wife, and Camille and her little family.

But Mickey starts to look concerned again as the time passes. He peers at the new gold watch on Ian’s wrist that he got Ian for his wedding gift, engraved with the date of their soon to be wedding day.

“Did you call the limo company or whatever? Thought we were supposed to leave a fucking while ago”.

Ian tries to contain his grin, it’s not a limo that’s coming for them. His wedding gift to Mickey was a little more unusual than that. “On their way” he assures Mickey, who lights another cigarette in agitation while Debbie fixes his cuffs.

They are all dressed nicely and waiting, the men in their fine black suits and the girls in their various and colorful dresses, when an unusual honk finally comes from outside.

Mickey frowns in confusion at the sound, “Is that…?”

He heads towards the front window to peer outside and immediately goes, “You didn’t”.

“I did” Ian laughs. He joins Mickey at the window to look at the bright yellow school bus parked outside of the house, “Everyone ready to go?” he calls behind himself happily, soon following the commotion of people and then dog out the front door.

It was as much sentimental as it was practical to rent a bus, in Ian’s mind. Sure, their first real conversation together was spent on a school bus just like this one, and it was going to the same destination, but it also comfortably seated their entire wedding party, including Mo, and it was cheaper than a limo.

Everyone clambers onto the bus with Ian except for Mickey, the driver grinning at them all, not really understanding the sentiment but obviously entertained by the idea of driving a wedding party in a school bus. Ian had already instructed everyone else to sit wherever they wanted except for the back seat on the right-hand side. That place was his and Mickey’s, just like it was back then.

And while Ian waits for him, his heart thumping in his chest, he closes his eyes for a moment, imagining his sixteen-year-old self. If only he could have seen this day then, all those years ago. What would he have thought?

_Mickey saunters down the aisle of the school bus, past all the full seats, until he narrows his eyes at the very last empty space behind Ian, who has been watching him approach with some interest. “Move” he says to Ian, who picks up his backpack to make room beside himself. “No Gallagher, move over. I’m taking the window side”._

When he sees Mickey appear at the top of the bus steps this time, licking his bottom lip for just a moment before he starts heading right towards him in the back seat, Ian can’t keep the blush or the smile off his face, and his eyes never leave Mickey’s.

But Mickey’s face is thoughtful, alight with the past too, and he pauses beside the seat before he sits down, looking down at Ian with glistening eyes.

_Maybe it’s a good thing he decided to come on this dumb trip after all, Mickey thinks. Ian’s some tall awkward ginger in a few of Mickey’s classes, but he’s actually pretty cute. Not that it matters, Mickey thinks as he reaches the seat, Ian never talks to him, “Move”. Ian immediately moves his backpack out of the free spot. “No Gallagher, move over. I’m taking the window side”._

He clears his throat loudly, and with a slight amused twitch of his eyebrow says, “Move over, Gallagher”.

***Mickey’s POV***

Oak Forest hasn’t changed a whole lot over the years, Mickey realizes when they get there. The buildings were all in the same place, some a little more run down maybe, some slapped with newer coats of paint. He was in a way glad to see it was the same.

Him and Ian go to check the set up for the ceremony before they head back to their respective cabins to get ready, and he’s pleased to see that Debbie had kept it simple as promised. There’s a simple wooden arch draped with some natural greenery, where they’ll stand with Fiona in front of the lake, who had taken the course to officiate their marriage, and some lanterns on a small wooden table.

Their guest’s seating stretches in the opposite direction, away from the lake, with enough seating for everyone invited to their small and intimate ceremony. There’s iron posts holding lanterns placed beside the guest’s wooden benches, along with metal buckets filled with simple white flowers.

They got lucky too, the weather was beautiful today. It was a little cooler by the lake, being September and all, but the sun was still shining, so none of their guests needed jackets or anything else. By the time their ceremony took place at six, the sun should be setting over the lake nicely.

Mickey turns to see his little part of the wedding party waiting for him, so he touches Ian’s shoulder gently to get his attention, who turns to smile at him. “See, uh, see you in a bit” Mickey says, leaning in to give him a tentative kiss on the lips. “See you in a bit” Ian repeats softly, watching him leave.

Iggy, Kev, Rob, Camille, and Mo all bring Mickey to the cabin they had set up for him to chill and get ready in, and even Mandy had turned up and gotten cleaned up nice for the day. She leans in to give him a gentle hug, and Mickey tries to not to grimace at how skinny the drugs made her. He can feel her ribs through her fluttery dark blue dress.

It wasn’t the day to give her shit for it though, and considering she had shown up, maybe, just maybe, she was turning things around.

Kev hands him a shot of whiskey as he breathes out heavily, looking at himself in the mirror over the desk. “Nervous?” Kev asks, patting him on the back. Mickey gulps it down, holding the glass out for another, but then putting it down when Kev shakes his head no at him. “You’ll be fine man. Ian’s been in love with you since he was sixteen”.

“I know” Mickey answers, smiling weakly. He'd felt the same way since he was seventeen, and he'd been the first to admit it. 

_“I fucking love you, alright?”_

_Ian opens his eyes, blinking rapidly in disbelief. He stares at the boy in front of him, not comprehending what he thinks he might have heard, because Mickey Milkovich, would never, “You…?”_

_“I love you” Mickey repeats quietly. And then, running his fingers over his own bleeding knuckles, “I’m in love with you”._

_Ian finally manages to find his croaky voice, “I fucking love you too. I just didn’t think, you would actually feel the same way” he breathes, staring at the dark-haired boy across from him in a new light._

_Mickey quickly looks up in disbelief, “You do?”_

_Ian’s shoulders sink weakly, “Yeah, Mick… I’m in love with you”._

And like every other great step in his life Mickey hadn’t imagined happening one day, this one, getting married, had him a little shook. In a good way.

Rob smiles at him too, “You grew up into an incredible young man Mick. I hope you know how much it means to us that you invited us out today”. Mickey shrugs, a small smile on his lips, “You guys…you guys cared. That meant a lot to me. Even if I couldn’t say it when I was eighteen”.

There’s a knock at the cabin door about an hour later, and then Fiona’s standing there, smiling in at him, her brown eyes shining. “He’s waiting for you Mick”.

Mickey nods, straightening his back and shoulders before he follows her out of the cabin. She’s walking a few feet ahead, her off white dress flowing around her long legs, and Mickey sees Iggy appear beside him, completely taken with the view.

“She’s beautiful man” he says quietly, and Mickey smirks, slugging him in the shoulder. “She’s about to be my sister in law, which means she’s about to be your sister in law”.

As he approaches the lake he sees Ian’s already waiting up at the archway for him, the pale orange and yellow sky starting to take over the blue as the lake behind him ripples quietly, and the sight almost takes his breath away.

_He looks incredible. Mickey had been so worried about looking good for his boyfriend that he’d completely forgotten to let himself look forward to seeing him in a suit, too. Ian’s dressed in a classic black suit, like Mickey, with a white dress shirt underneath, but his tie is grey and striped instead of blue._

_But really, he could be dressed in anything, and Mickey would always be in awe seeing him._

_He loved everything about that boy, his ivory skin, his emerald green eyes, his flaming red hair, his shy smile. His laugh, the way he shifted in place when he was nervous, like right now. Mickey’s heart squeezes at the sight of him, as he quickly reminds himself to nod at Debbie for opening the front door._

His wedding party melts away from him to go to their seats, Mo immediately taking his place beside Liam’s chair. They aren’t doing a walking down the aisle or anything like that, but Ian had been there first, so it feels a bit like that as he walks up to join him by the archway. He stops and looks at Ian, completely taken with his smile as he looks back at him. His red hair is illuminated softly by the sun’s setting orange light, and his face is soft and happy, completely at peace, while Mickey feels like his heart is trying to break through his damn chest. But Ian reaches out, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly, and everything feels alright.

***Ian’s POV***

Ian’s cabin was a little more packed than Mickey’s was, mostly just because he had more family members present. He looks around at his siblings, all of them beaming, and he feels an indescribable sense of happiness swelling in his chest. All of them had grown up so much, come so far, no matter what life threw at them, and this moment felt like it was theirs as much as it was his.

When Lip nods at him to go have a smoke with him outside, Ian obliges, sensing his brother wants a moment alone. Lip lets smoke trail from his lips for a moment before he looks over at his younger brother, a small smile on his lips.

“So this is it, huh?”

Ian nods, “This is it”.

Lip pulls him into a one-armed hug, “I’m really happy for you man, I hope you know that. We all are. God, I think back to highschool, if someone had told me _Mickey Milkovich_ would marry my brother one day, I would have thought they were fuckin insane”.

“I probably would have too” Ian admits, the two of them smiling shyly at each other. Lip nods, “The way he looks at you man…always makes me think, I hope I find that some day. Not in a dude I mean, but-“

“I know what you mean” Ian grins, “I hope you do too. I got lucky”.

“You both did Ian”.

_“Can’t believe you got me a star” Mickey says after a while, and as Ian looks over he sees he is smiling at the sky once more in disbelief._

_Ian’s feeling especially cheerful now, and he can’t help but tease the adorable guy in front of him. “Valentine, you’re my hole world”._

_Mickey doesn’t get it at first, until Ian bursts out laughing, and then he slugs him in the shoulder as he begins to laugh too.  “I fuckin love you Gallagher, you know that? You’re my best friend”._

_He knows._

The sun is setting when Ian goes to take his place by the archway, after shaking hands with the select few cops from Mickey’s division that he had invited, and then greeting his own coworkers while they file into their seats.

He waits for a while, and then finally nods his head to Fiona when he’s ready, who goes off to bring the rest of the wedding party…and the other groom, to their outdoor chapel. Ian hums to himself a little, thinking back to that morning fondly, until he sees the small group of people approaching the lakeside again.

The hum dies in his throat when he sees Mickey taking a deep breath and walking towards him, dressed in the handsome black suit they had picked out together weeks ago. His sharp blue eyes are almost shining it seems, his porcelain skin perfect save for a small bruise on his cheek as he licks his pinks lips and takes his place by Ian’s side.

He’s nervous, Ian can tell. He’s known Mickey’s subtle signs for years, so he does what he always does, reaches out and takes his hand, giving it a squeeze. Mickey looks up at him, and a smile flickers over his face, deepening when Ian smiles back.

***Mickey’s POV***

They turn to face Fiona together while she speaks, reading from her printed notes and looking up every so often with a bright smile at Mickey and Ian, or their guests. It wasn’t a religious or long-winded script, but it kept the most important and the legal parts.

“Welcome family, friends, and loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Ian and Mickey. You have come here from nearby and from far away to share in this commitment they now make to one another, to offer your love and support to their union, and to allow Ian and Mickey to start their married life together surrounded by the people most important to them”.

Mickey glances over at Ian, and finds the redhead already looking at him. His palms feel sweaty, and he rubs them against his pants before the next line.

Fiona addresses them directly, “Ian and Mickey, please take each other’s hands. Ian, repeat after me…” Mickey listens to the sentimental words and promises she has Ian repeat in his direction, and then says them himself, but they don’t mean a whole lot, because neither of them came up with those words. But then his heart starts to thump in his chest again as she clears her throat and asks, “Do you guys have each other’s rings?”

Mickey fumbles in his pocket for the plain silver ring he had for Ian, who was already holding an identical one between his fingers for him.

“Okay, give them to me for a moment” she says, going over her notes again. Ian is stifling a grin now as she loses her formality, but she quickly finds her place again. “Your, uh, wedding ring is a symbol of your promise to one another. The ring, an unbroken, never ending circle, is a symbol of committed and unending love!”

_Ian lets out a deep breath, “I don’t know. I just, can’t believe you agreed to do this with me, drop everything and go just because I asked you to”._

_Appreciation. That’s the look on his face. That and a little awe._

_Mickey swallows hard, wiping his mouth a bit on his napkin before he answers. “Ian”, he lowers his voice, “I would do anything for you. You know that, right? That’s what love is man, good times and bad”._

_“Yeah well, you make the bad times good” Ian answers, reaching across the table for his hand again._

_Mickey looks at the pale hand holding his own slightly dirtier one, his aggressive tattoos standing out in sharp contrast against their skin._

_The thing was, it wasn’t hard for Mickey to drop everything and follow him, because Ian was his everything. He’d never had someone in his life before that truly made him feel like he wasn’t going through it alone._

Mickey swallows hard as Ian turns to him, taking his hand again. It’s like there’s buzzing in his ears, the moment is so charged for him, and the only thing in his sights is the redhead in front of him, his beautiful green eyes gazing thoughtfully back at him.

“Ian, as you place this ring on Mickey’s finger, think of the love and commitment you hold for each other. Ian, do you take Mickey to be your husband?”

***Ian’s POV***

When Ian was six years old, his elementary school teacher had told him that men could only marry women, and could only have babies with women, after Ian had asked another boy to be his husband while they were playing house. Ian had said he understood, dropped the doll he was carrying, and apologized, but he cried when he went home that night, and he couldn’t even explain to Fiona why. He didn’t know why.

He understood as he got older though, letting go of hope for a long time that he would have any other sort of future, and expecting that he’d eventually have to settle for being with a woman as much as his heart and body resisted the idea of it.

It wasn’t until he fell in love with Mickey that he realized he couldn’t, that he wouldn’t, ever settle for being with a woman.

For ever being with anyone but him.

_Mickey glances back at Ian, who’s head is now drooping inside his helmet. “Hey Fiona. Yeah he’s with me. I think he just needs a break… he said something about Frank and Monica taking his shit”._

_Fiona groans into the phone, “I didn’t realize…fuck. When are you coming back?” Mickey shrugs, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. “I don’t know…but I’ll take care of him. Promise”._

_She sighs, clearly giving in to her exhaustion. “Fine…please keep in touch with me if he won’t. And Mickey? Please stay with him”._

_“Don’t worry, where he goes, I go. Talk later Fiona” Mickey hangs up his phone and looks at Ian, who just looks lost. “I’m sorry” the redhead whispers quietly._

_“Don’t be sorry” Mickey answers, “I’m here for you. Always. You and me together. Right?”_

Mikhailo, Alexsandr, Milkovich. Love of his life. Ian nods slowly, gazing into Mickey’s searching blue eyes, “I do”.

Fiona smiles and turns to the dark-haired man across from him next, with the tattooed fingers and the smart mouth that he had grown to love so much.

“Mickey, as you place this ring on Ian’s finger, think of the love and commitment you hold for each other. Mickey, do you take Ian to be your husband?”

***Mickey’s POV***

Knowing Ian had knocked the realist right out of Mickey, because if he thought it was realistic he would ever be able to find a man to truly fall in love with him, that he loved back, and then get to marry him some day, he would have led a very different life. But that _wasn’t_ his life. Not before. His life was scary, lonely, difficult and dark, for so many goddamn years.

Until he met Ian. Until he decided that Terry, and fear, had governed enough years of his life, and he wouldn’t let them make him lose the only man he had ever loved.

_Just like that, the cracks holding their secret have been entirely smashed open, and everybody knows. Mandy finds him at his locker after that same period and just looks at him worriedly for a moment before she says, “Mickey…he’s gonna hear about this. Sooner or later, he’s gonna know”._

_Mickey nods, “I know”._

_“Why…why would you do that?” she asks, her familiar blue eyes flooded with confusion and concern. Mickey looks at the students walking past him as the hallway fills after the bell, all of their eyes dragging over him with curiosity._

_“Because I was going fucking lose him”_.

Ian Gallagher. Worth risking it all for, then and now. 

Ian waits with bated breath for Mickey’s answer, a sparkle in his green eyes, and Mickey finds his voice is surprisingly calm and steady as he answers, his eyebrows twitching just slightly at the promising words as they leave his mouth.

“I do”.

Fiona tries to hide her little excited giggle behind a throat clearing, but fails, and Mickey and Ian smirk to each other. “Ahh, sorry. Okay, let me see…before I pronounce you husband and husband, do you have any vows you would like to read?”

***Ian’s POV***

Ian looks over at Mickey with hopeful eyes, who looks startled. Ian looks back at him for a moment, confused, but then Mickey bites his lip and nods, reaching into his pocket for a folded piece of paper, and Ian smiles again. They had never talked about exchanging vows, but Ian had been working on his, thinking about them, for weeks.

Mickey clears his throat twice, looking down at the paper and then over at their guests uncertainly, and Ian realizes this probably wasn’t something he was super comfortable with, sharing his feelings in front of everyone. He always did everything in private if he could, preferring to have only Ian share his intimate moments of vulnerability.

But before Ian can tell him it’s okay, that they can exchange them in private later, Mickey lets out a deep and shaky breath and focuses his sharp blue eyes on him, only him, before he looks down at his paper.

“Ian… everyday that I wake up knowing I’ll get to see you, wake up next to you, is a good day. Those little things that you don’t fucking like about yourself, or don’t notice, like the way you scrunch your face when you don’t wanna do something, or how you snore sometimes when you’re sleeping and then kick me in your sleep…” Mickey laughs shakily while their guests laugh along with him and Ian, until Mickey starts to speak again, and then he’s not laughing anymore.

His voice is cracking, his hands are shaking as he runs one down over his mouth, but he forces himself to keep talking, trying to keep shit together while Ian’s eyes start to water too.

“Or the way your freckles are more noticeable some days than others… I love those fucking things. I… I know what everyone thought about me by the time I met you. I’d known since I was a fuckin kid. Mickey Milkovich, the guy nobody wanted to be around, right? Picking fights, stealing shit. I was fuckin lonely Ian, and I didn’t even realize it until I met you. And you wanted to be around me, you wanted to be with me. And that scared me, because why would anybody want that? Who would want to be with someone like me? But you were patient with me, and you showed me that you meant it, and that I didn’t have to be scared of how much I wanted you back”.

He’s sniffing openly now, his voice breaking on that last line, and Ian is losing it too, running his sleeve across his face while the two of them leak tears. Like a couple of bitches, Mickey would say, Ian realizes with a little watery smile.

Maybe Mickey thinks that too, because he catches his voice again, smiling through his blurry eyes while he looks up at him, “You’ve been my best friend for years now Ian, everything to me. My first and only love man. I don’t know where I’d be in life I hadn’t of made it to the bus on time that morning, if I hadn’t of forged my dad’s signature and decided that I wanted to go last fucking minute. If I hadn’t sat down beside you on that trip to Oak Forest. Maybe I wouldn’t be here at all. But I am here, and you’re here, and that’s all I want. I think that’s all I’ve ever wanted”.

Mickey starts to close and fold the paper in his hands while he wipes a tattooed hand across his eyes roughly, laughing a bit at himself, and after a glimpse of it Ian realizes the paper is blank. There’s nothing written on it, either side. He’d never heard Mickey put so many thoughts and feelings about him into words at once before, and he looks up at him in wonder, suddenly realizing he never needed to write anything at all.

Maybe Mickey didn’t know they were supposed to write vows, maybe he forgot, maybe he didn’t want to. But none of that mattered, because anything they had to say to each other, Ian didn’t need to write down either.

Fiona is wiping her eyes now too, carefully, so her mascara doesn’t run as she asks with a warble, “Ian? Do you have any vows for Mickey?”

Ian nods, clearing his throat before he trains his eyes on Mickey’s again to speak.

“Mickey. Ever since that day you sat down beside me on the school bus, that was coming right here to this lake, I was intimidated by you. But not in the way you think. I was intimidated because even then, the effect you had on me was incredible. I started falling for you then, and I never stopped”.

He licks his lips and looks down at the ground for a moment, “When- when you had to go with Memphis, I felt like life turned cold… turned black and white. All the happiness, all the warmth, all the color, everything I needed, left that day with you and Mandy in the backseat of that car”.

He’s crying again, the memory of it still painful after so many years, but he feels a finger underneath his chin, and Mickey’s lifting his face again, warmly brushing away his tears with his thumbs as he nods at him. “You left home, and _home_ left with you, because you are _fucking everything_ to me Mick...and our time apart taught me that. You have loved me no matter what I threw your way, and you have made me into a better man because of it. So Mick, I just really want to spend the rest of my life being loved by you, and loving you back even more. You're my best friend”.

Ian runs his knuckles over the tear rolling down his cheek that Mickey had missed, smiling at Mickey through his last tears as he blinks quickly, taking a deep breath. He turns to Fiona, and nods to show he’s finished.

She’s crying a little too now, his speech hitting her and their other siblings especially hard as they remembered Ian’s dark days when Mickey was gone, but she quickly pulls herself together and back into the happiness of the moment, just like Ian did, “Thank you for sharing your vows with us. Ian Clayton Gallagher, and Mikhailo ‘Mickey’ Alexsandr Milkovich, I now pronounce you husband and husband, together for the rest of your lives. You can kiss now”.

_“I’ll be more, Ian” Mickey finally murmurs into his lips, breaking the kiss, “I’ll be whatever you fucking want me to be”._

_Ian runs his hand around behind Mickey’s strong neck, anchoring himself in, as he presses his lips against Mickey’s neck, comforted by the promise._

_“I want you to be you”._

Before Fiona even finishes getting the word 'kiss' out of her mouth, Mickey’s mouth finds Ian’s, and they hold each other close, kissing to a song only they can hear while their friend and family cheer around them, Fiona announcing,

“Mr. and Mr. Gallagher-Milkovich, everyone”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for the ambiance of their wedding would be the first few minutes of Chariot by Beach House <3 If you want some feels, give it a listen and think about their wedding :)  
> 


	96. Mr. and Mr. Gallagher-Milkovich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrations, and the wedding night <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A ton of lyrics in this chapter, I apologize, but both fucking songs ahhh I was dying picturing these scenes. And after the fact that one of you guys loves Ciggys After Sex too, had to bring them back in!  
> Songs: Blue Eyes by the Cary Brothers (might make a video edit with this one)  
> Affection by Cigarettes after Sex

***Mickey’s POV***

As soon as the guests disperse from the outdoor ceremony to take a break before they start preparing for the laid-back wedding dinner Debbie had arranged, Mickey lets a rush of stale air out of his lungs, unaware that he’d been holding it in for the past several moments.

“Jesus Christ Ian, we’re fucking _married_ ” he says in awe. “I know” Ian answers cheerfully, handing him a cigarette from his pocket as he grins.

Mickey practically melts. “I fucking love you” he murmurs around the Marlboro, while Ian lights it for him with a steady hand. “I know” Ian repeats again, laughing, “I fuckin love you too, Mick”.

They get swarmed for a bit by their guests, everyone clapping their backs, shaking their hands, and congratulating them, while Mickey just tries his best to be polite to everybody like Ian is.

Frankly, a significant portion of him just wants to tell everyone to fuck off, so he can be alone with his new husband already. Ian was definitely the friendlier of the two grooms, and Mickey would have no problem admitting that. But he’ll have all night alone with him, Mickey reminds himself.

Just him and his Ian, banging underneath the stars.

He’s starting to get wood just thinking about it though, so he quickly redirects his attention to certified boner-killers Lip and Iggy, who are now approaching the two new grooms together. Over the years, they’d sort of become friends, and the two of them have shit eating grins plastered across their faces.

“Those were some fucking vows guys, had Iggy here crying like a bitch” Lip winks.

Mickey throws up a middle finger in annoyance, but Ian just laughs while Iggy defends himself. “You cried too” Iggy shoots back, shoving Lip playfully. “My eyes got wet. There’s a difference” Lip insists, and Mickey relaxes as he realizes Lip hadn’t been making fun of him, something Ian had apparently understood right off the bat because he knew his older brother so well.

“Anyways, I may or may not have a little something-something to say congrats” Iggy grins, taking a perfectly rolled joint out of his pocket. “Laughing Buddha. Wanna spark up by that cabin over there? So your cop friends don’t see us Mick”.

What a wedding present. Iggy really never did get over his little brother becoming a cop. “Fuck yes” Mickey answers, taking Ian’s warm hand in his own while the four of them walk down to the old cabin together, shooting the shit and smoking the joint down until there’s nothing left.

There’s a comfortable haze forming slowly around Mickey’s head as the smoke dissipates, he had already been feeling stoned just from the fucking adrenaline and happiness he felt from marrying his best friend, and now it’s like he’s fucking swimming in it.

All he sees is Ian, _Ian Gallagher-Milkovich_ , and when Ian tries to kiss him and almost misses his damn mouth, he can’t stop giggling. Like a little fucking girl. And then Ian starts giggling with delight too, their two older brothers soon looking at them like they’ve gone fucking retarded all of a sudden or something.

“Um, it was just normal weed you guys” Iggy says in concern, but Lip just grins, understanding a little more about how their endorphins must be fucking spinning out of control right now, especially with the help of a strain that would only encourage it.

“This, this is my _husband_ ” Ian bursts out laughing, pointing at Mickey joyfully, “Look at him. _Look at him_!” “Yes, we see him” Iggy says, laughing in disbelief, “Same old Mick to me Ian. Well, different last name I guess”.

“Ahhh” Mickey yells back at Ian, swinging his arm around his shoulder enthusiastically, “Hey, Mr. Gallagher-Milkovich”.

“Oh, hello there, Mr. Gallagher-Milkovich” Ian trills back, the two of them sinking back against the cabin’s wall as they laugh some more and then reach for each other again in pure, intoxicated joy.

By the time they come down from their euphoric high, their nostalgic wedding dinner is ready and waiting for them, and there’s a collective cheer as they return to the campfire that was set up by the lake for everyone to sit around. Apparently, they’d left everyone fuckin starving while they waited.

In the end, Ian and Mickey had just gone with a low-key barbeque and beer banquet for their wedding meal, it seemed only right considering the venue, and the two of them wolf down hamburgers and hotdogs together, nodding their thanks and grinning while their siblings and friends take turns giving them little sappy toasts filled with playful jabs that earn them a middle finger every once and a while from the two grooms. 

***Ian’s POV***

After the barbeque dinner that Debbie had arranged for the newlyweds and their guests by the campfire, Ian and Mickey follow her to the empty barn she had set up for the rest of their wedding celebrations, including the dance. To Ian’s surprise and delight, Mickey doesn’t protest the set up at all, and simply nods his approval.

Maybe he’s still a little stoned. Maybe he's just gotten a little softer of the years. 

Soft yellow fairy lights are strung up outside and throughout the barn, casting a warm and glowing light on everyone as they file inside the rustic venue, and beside a small wooden stage at the end of the barn two large speakers are plugged in to play their wedding music.

And to help with one other surprise that Ian has planned for Mickey…

The only request Mickey makes of their guests as they join them in the barn for the first dance, “Is that everyone shuts the fuck up and dances too, instead of just watching him and Ian, cause that’s fuckin weird”.

But before a first song can play, Ian takes the microphone that Debbie tosses at him, smiling at his confused husband as he takes the stage. “Don’t hate me for this Mick, but I wanted to sing for you first. Not like I usually do, bugging you and shit, but for real. I- I wrote this for you”.

Mickey raises an eyebrow at him, rejoining their guests while Ian stands there and waits for an answer. His co-worker Wendell that drives the ambulance joins him with a guitar.

Ian had been practicing this song for months on the down time during shifts they worked together.

“Don’t let me fucking stop you” Mickey finally says, watching him curiously as he clutches at the microphone. Ian clears his throat at his husband's go ahead, and while Wendell hits the drumming recording to start and then begins to strum his guitar, Ian bites back his rising nerves and starts to sing for his husband.

Here’s the thing- he had done this a million times, usually teasingly, or playfully, but never seriously, in all the years they had been together. Never something he wrote himself, about and for Mickey.

The first few lines come out a little tentative, but then he finds his confidence and his rhythm as he focuses only on Mickey, _“I just wanna sing a song with you. I just want to take it off of you. Cause Blue Eyes, you are all that I need. Cause Blue Eyes, you're the sweet to my mean.  
Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand. I can help you to stand_ _…_ _saved it up for this dance. Tell me all the things you can”._

 Mickey starts out listening to the intimate song with his arms crossed, maybe expecting to be a little annoyed in the same way he usually is… but soon his arms go slack and hang by his sides, his sharp face softening as he watches him.

Ian’s a little flushed in the face while he sings too, not because he’s embarrassed, or because Mickey is, but because he’s staring at him like he’s never seen him before, like he’s taken with him, and Ian knows he’s falling for him even harder, which he clearly didn’t think was even possible.

_“All the lights on and you are alive, but you can't point the way to your heart. So sublime, when the stars are aligned, but you don't know, you don't know the greatness you are...  
Cause Blue Eyes, you are destiny's scene. Cause Blue Eyes, I just wanna be the one, I just wanna sing a song with you, I just wanna get it on with you… Cause Blue Eyes, you're the secret I keep. Cause Blue Eyes… I just wanna sing a song with you, I just wanna sing a song with you, I just wanna sing a song with you...”_

As soon as Ian finishes his song and leaves the stage, nodding and smiling while their guests clap for his performance, Mickey comes up to him and touches his face in wonder, shaking his head while his blue eyes shine in the soft light. “You’re never gonna stop surprising me, are you Ian?”

“I hope not” Ian answers softly. For the rest of his life, he hoped not.

And then Ian and Mickey dance their first dance as a married couple, surrounded by their family and friends, their eyes only on each other, not worried about what anyone else is doing, or if anyone else is watching. Ian smiles as the slow and ambient song plays, Mickey’s eventual choice for their first dance, with an almost sensual tone to it.

_“But then again, sometimes I get really sweet, so,_

_What does it mean, if I tell you to go fuck yourself?_

_Or if I say, that you’re beautiful to me._

_It’s affection. Always”._

 “Hey Ian?” Mickey says, as they sway softly on the spot. Ian hums happily, “Yeah?”

 Mickey smiles into his neck, “Go fuck yourself”.

 Ian laughs before he looks back down at his husband, “Mick?”

“Yeah?”

 “You’re beautiful to me”.

  ***Mickey’s POV***

Everyone packs up after a couple more hours at the campgrounds, heading home in their respective cars and then some in the bus Ian had ended up renting, after their loving goodbyes and one last round of congratulations.

It’s getting late now, past eleven, and Mickey has been itching to be alone with Ian for fucking hours.

Every minute that he watched that redhead from the moment he said _I do_ , he had wanted to touch him, be with him, in a way that was only theirs.

They had chosen, in what Debbie had called ‘extremely romantic’, to stay at Oak Forest and spend their wedding night in a tent together by the lake, the same way they had spent their first night together, but with more soft blankets and pillows, and a shit ton more privacy.

Mickey remembers how much he had wanted Ian then, just a horny seventeen-year-old kid, with no idea what the redhead would end up doing to him.

_They walk slowly back to where they had set up their tent, just off from the rest of the group, who were randomly clustered across the campgrounds. They had a perfect view of the lake in front of them, moonlight dancing across the dark water as it rippled gently. Ian leaves the door unzipped so they can keep the view, and the light._

_Mickey crawls inside of the tent first and pulls off his shirt. He feels a tiny bit nervous, like it’s some awkward first date. But as Ian stares at his bare chest with a familiar look in his dark eyes, want, Mickey feels his heart start to race with need._

_“C’mere”._

By the end of that night, he was a different person. He wonders if tonight will be any different. 

As soon as they wave goodbye to the last leaving vehicle, a co-worker’s Kia, Ian turns to him. “Well? You ready to consummate this-“

Mickey cuts him off by bringing Ian’s face to his own roughly, kissing him and breathing out into his mouth with as much need and heat as he did that very first night.

_He presses his hot mouth against Ian’s, who’s lips are trembling slightly. They both breathe shakily as they move their mouths against each other, opening and closing them to let their tongues sneak in and explore the other boy’s mouth. Mickey’s mind buzzes, numb with arousal and unexpected pleasure, and he slides his tongue across Ian’s teasingly._

_Ian shudders slightly from excitement and presses his long fingers into Mickey’s bicep, holding onto him to steady himself, as they lay together in the damp grass._

“Come on” Ian suddenly murmurs into his searching lips, holding his warm hand tightly while they walk back towards their tent together. It’s quiet and dark inside, as they choose to strip each other's clothes off by the moonlight and forget about their lanterns.

As soon as they are naked though, Ian stops touching him and looks over at their jackets, suit pants, ties, and shirts in a haphazard pile on the floor of their large tent, and Mickey hesitates at the distant look on his face. It’s almost like he’s not really there all of a sudden, like his mind is somewhere else. “What?” he asks tentatively.

***Ian’s POV***

In this exact moment, Ian isn’t here. He’s reliving a night he spent with Mickey after their very first highschool dance…

_He turns his head to the side to rest his cheek against Mickey’s for a moment, his body spent but still wanting to give more. He sees their dress pants and shirts spread out onto the floor, their jackets abandoned haphazardly, and his mind spirals forward towards a certain special night that he would see the same sight, if it ever came to be._

_Even that night, with Mickey fast asleep in his arms, and Ian drawing in his comforting scent, he wonders._

_Could there ever be a happy ending for two guys like them, living in the South Side of Chicago?_

“I just…God, I thought about this night so many times. Pictured our tuxes on the floor, just like that” he admits, his throat feeling heavy as he remembers his teenage doubts and dreams.

“Mmm” Mickey agrees, and as soon as Ian slots his long body over him, he forgets all about their suits and brings his attention right back to Mickey and his incredible body.

They kiss slowly for a while, then more passionately, growing harder against each other before Ian reaches down to gently touch the rim of Mickey’s hole, soon sliding in a slick and oiled finger while Mickey groans into his neck, "Ian...that song you wrote for me..." he trails off, but Ian lowers his mouth to his lips to give him a kiss before he sings softly against them, _"Cause Blue Eyes, you are all that I need. I just wanna get it on with you..._ "

***Mickey’s POV***

“You’re my husband” Ian eventually says in wonder, looking at him with euphoric disbelief while he slides another long finger past his tight hole. They've been making out and touching at each other for what feels like forever now, Mickey practically swimming in Ian's affection for him as he repeated his song for him in private.

Mickey arches his back as Ian's middle finger enters him and brushes against his prostate, “I know” he groans again, “You’re finally mine”.

He thinks back to a night when he had been so intoxicated by his love for Ian, that he could have asked him to marry him right then and there, even though they were just kids.

_There’s just one fucking thought running through Mickey's mind, over and over again, like a broken fucking record as they kiss._

_"I wanna make you mine” he hears himself saying into Ian’s lips, the blood rushing to both his junk and his brain as he is intoxicated by his feelings for the other boy. But if this is drunk in love, he never wants to sober up._

_“I am yours” Ian murmurs back, and then without another word, he starts to swim back towards to the dock very slowly, still clinging to Mickey the entire time and backing him towards it too._

_Mickey soon feels cold metal rails press against his back, and he kisses Ian even harder before pulling away from his lips away like he’s desperate for air, but really, he’s just desperate for Ian._

***Ian’s POV***

“I always was” Ian reminds him, reaching down to kiss his chest.

He marvels at the pale and smooth skin, feeling very much the sixteen-year-old boy that had been doing the exact same thing all those years ago. Mickey’s soft chest hairs bend beneath his pressing lips, and Ian reaches with his free hand to drag the pad of his thumb down over one of Mickey’s pink nipples, feeling the nub harden in response.

He lowers himself further, massaging down Mickey’s firm chest and abdomen with his large hands and then pausing to give his erection a long and teasing lick before he settles himself between his legs, pushing them apart to get to Mickey’s firm ass.

Mickey looks down at him with a raised dark eyebrow, clearly loving this.

“You didn’t get enough to eat at our wedding dinner? Jesus Ian”.

Ian laughs softly at the jest, before bringing his hot tongue down to firmly press up against his muscled hole, Mickey’s teasing expression quickly shifting into one of desire. His wrinkled forehead crumples a bit with pleasure, his soft lips falling into a perfect ‘o’ while Ian licks him open, gently pressing his tongue in just past the muscular opening a few times.

_"What?” Mickey looks back at him, eyebrows raised._

_Ian blushes even from behind his straining hard on, “You know, can I lick your-“_

_“-Yeah, I know what it is”, Mickey looks at him with interest, “Just never done it before”._

_Ian licks his lips, “Let me show you…”_

When he feels like Mickey is more than good and ready for him, mostly based on his pleasured groans that are growing in volume, Ian spits on his tensing hole and shifts back on his knees before he lays flat on his back, Mickey quickly getting up from his place on the tent floor to approach him.

“Get on me” Ian tells him softly, stroking himself as he lays there waiting patiently for Mickey to mount him. Mickey doesn’t need to be told twice, and he spits down on Ian’s dick liberally himself some more before he eases himself into position, guiding Ian’s hard on right to his hole before he lowers down onto it, pushing Ian’s cock up into the tight confines of his ass.

Ian lets a rush of air out past his lips in pleasure at the squeeze, reaching forward to hold Mickey’s hips and help him move and up and down on him faster, the other man’s cheeks quickly filling with a warm flush as Ian quickly begins to pound into him.

“You’re so big Ian. Never gonna get used to this” he admits, biting his lip. But the look on his face says that’s a good thing, a very good thing. He arches his back to bring himself down on Ian in a more advantageous position, the intense pleasure more than evident on his face once he hits his prostate.

“Fuck yes” he moans in agitation, Ian feeling his chest tighten beneath him, “Get it Mick” he encourages.

The visual of this alone could do him in, and when Mickey looks down at him with burning blue eyes, grabbing one of his hands to stick his index finger in his mouth and suck on it, he feels a familiar fire start to rip through him, his eyes closing at it.

“Look at me Ian” Mickey demands from above him, so he forces his eyes open, “Mick I’m gonna come…if you don’t stop…” he admits apologetically, trying so hard to keep his shit together. He knows Mickey prefers to get off when he’s still hard and inside of him.  

He feels Mickey reach for his hand and put it around his hot and neglected thick cock, pre-cum leaking from the tip, and Ian strokes it without thinking, automatically trying to bring his husband to his brink.

“Don’t come” Mickey growls, “Not yet. Just keep doing that to me”.

Ian laughs breathlessly, licking his bottom lip from beneath him while he continues to jerk him off, “Been my husband for like six hours and you’re already bossing me around”.

“Get used to it bitch, this is what you signed up for” Mickey smirks, but when Ian gives him a wink and lifts his ass from the tent floor again to really rail him, the look of amusement disappears from his face. “Oh fuck, _Ian_ , fuckin right _there_ ”.

Ian holds his breath to keep himself from finishing before Mickey, still giving it to him hard and steady, and pumping him at the same time with one firm hand, until without warning Mickey starts to ribbon hot cum up his chest, one stray shot of ejaculate hitting him right over his open lips.

Mickey groans at the visual, slumping from his intense release the very second Ian starts to buck upwards from his, “Fuck that's hot. Fill me up Gallagher” he pants, trying to get a second wind.

“I…am” Ian manages to loudly grunt as he finishes, collapsing back down again when he’s done.

Sweaty and tired, he drags one hand over his damp hairline and uses to other to swipe Mickey’s erratic jizz from around his lips right into his mouth, “And that’s Gallagher-Milkovich” he adds, laughing breathlessly as the salty sweet taste dissolves on his tongue.

“You’ll always be Gallagher to me” Mickey informs him, lifting up and swinging his leg up and over him as he reaches back for a much-deserved cigarette.

“I know” Ian answers happily, taking the Marlboro Mickey hands him. On their wedding certificate, they had recorded with Gallagher-Milkovich, but in the end they had both decided to keep going by their own last names.

It was sort of easier than being _two_ Mr. Gallagher-Milkovich’s, and besides that, they had always said each other’s last names with a certain fondness, nicknames they weren’t ready to lose.

Mickey stretches outside of their tent into the cool grass in front of it, and Ian follows him, the two of them smoking languidly in the nude while the lake lays quietly in front of them. They can hear some crickets, bullfrogs maybe, and some other whirring insects way off in the distance, but absolutely nothing else.

It was just them here.

Mickey gestures with a hand up at the stars, and then at everything around them, “Did you ever think…back then, that someday we would end up here again, married?”

“No” Ian admits, “I hard a hard time believing that night was even real at first. You were like something straight out of a wet dream for me. I kept thinking I’d wake up and you’d punch me or something”.

“Mmm” Mickey agrees, “Broke my rules for you Gallagher. But there was something about the way you looked at me that day, made me think it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world”.

Ian smiles, “Yeah”.

When the two of them make their way back into the tent for the night, rearranging their mussed-up blankets and pillows into a comfortable sort of nest, Mickey lays down and taps his bare and broad chest lightly with his hand.

“C’mere”.

Ian obediently crawls in beside him, resting his head on Mickey’s shoulder as he pulls a woollen blanket up towards their torsos to keep them warm.

When he’s done, Ian holds up his left hand, just above their faces, looking at it, and soon Mickey’s left hand is in their view too, encasing his.

Intertwining their fingers, they spend a long time before they fall asleep that night looking at their wedding rings, two simple yet solid bands of silver that neither of them would ever take off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Uni tomorrow, I'll try and keep updating at least every few days :) I'm thinking of having them honeymoon in Costa Rica, somewhere tropical. If you have any requests/ideas for the honeymoon chapter, comment and I'll work them in if I can.


	97. Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey have one last day at work before they leave for their honeymoon, and then they land in Costa Rica to celebrate their new marriage in the tropics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is stretching longer than I thought it would again, and I'm okay with that XD Also, the honeymoon ended up being a huge word document so it will be split into two parts for editing purposes. The first is part is quite a bit shorter than the second for the same reason. I found some cute pics for the two chapters too <3
> 
> Police Radio translations:  
> 10-55 (Intoxicated Driver) 10-4 (Message Received) 10-23 (Arrived at Scene) 10-52 (Ambulance Requested)

***Mickey’s POV***

_“Car 443 we have a 10-55 Eastbound on Wallace, driver appears to be middle to late aged male, Caucasian. Update upon arrival”._

Mickey licks his pink lips and quickly picks up the police radio in his parked cruiser to answer the dispatcher with a simple ‘message received’.

“10-4”.

He sticks his head out of the cruiser’s rolled down window and hollers for his new partner, who at this moment is just stepping outside of the McDonald’s they are parked in front of.

“Yo, Darrell! Drop the coffees man, we gotta roll!”

“Aw shit”.

Darrell tosses the two steaming paper cups of coffee he has in his hands into the trash bin with disappointment and jogs towards the car as Mickey turns the keys in the ignition, checking behind himself before they pull out quickly from the lot.

Darrell hits the siren and their emergency lights so they can race past the rest of the Chicago traffic down towards Wallace Street, but by the time they get there, the driver they got the call about has already driven straight into a fucking telephone pole.

The front of his car is smashed and trailing hot steam into the cold winter air, and some pained groaning can be heard from the vehicle.

“God dammit. Go check on him” Mickey mutters, watching while Darrell approaches the steaming car cautiously, waving back curious onlookers impatiently with his typical speech.

Mickey picks up the radio again and holds the call button down, “This is Officer Milkovich, car 443, updating on the Wallace call. 10-23, we need an ambulance”.

He nudges the side of his nose while he waits for the dispatcher to respond, wondering if it will be Ian’s vehicle that is called to the scene. They usually end up on sites like this together.

“Copy that Officer Milkovich, 10-52. Ambulance is en route”.

Mickey hangs up the radio and exits the cruiser with purpose as he addresses the small crowd by the accident site, “Ay, gonna have to ask everyone to step back. I said fuckin step _back_ ” he growls at one nosey person who chose to ignore his initial request.

He heads towards the smoking Toyota. “How is he?” he asks Darrell, crouching to peer inside the car with a grimace.

Darrell had been talking quietly with the inebriated driver for the past couple minutes, who is still conscious but has a nasty gash to the forehead, and is muttering that his wife is gonna kill him.

“Banged up but mentally mostly still there, other than the fact that he’s trashed”.

“Fucking idiot” Mickey mutters, clearing his throat before he tips his head at Darrell, “Go back to the car and tell em we need a tow truck too. Nobody’s gonna be driving this tin can outta here”.

Mickey himself waits and keeps an eye on the driver, while Darrell goes to relay the request. The car isn’t in danger of exploding, and they aren’t supposed to touch injured people unless its absolutely necessary before a medical team arrives, but he still needs to make sure the guy doesn’t stop fucking breathing or something.

Within ten minutes, a flashing and wailing Chicago ambulance shows up, and despite himself, Mickey grins when he sees a tall and handsome uniformed Ian hop out of the back of it.

He steps back to let Ian and his EMT partner do their thing when they hurry over, Ian only taking a moment to acknowledge him with a quick nod before he starts his verbal and then physical assessment of the driver.

Once the driver is on the ambulance and his head is being bandaged, Ian drops the “I’m working” fucking steel resolve that he has not to treat Mickey any differently than he would any other police officer at a site, and he smiles, “Day before our honeymoon and look where we are Mick”.

“Hey, if we weren’t working, we wouldn’t be able to afford our damn honeymoon” Mickey points out, grabbing a clipboard from his cruiser. They might have saved a lot by having a low-key wedding, but they couldn’t say the same for their honeymoon.

He makes a couple quick on the scene notes regarding response times and license plates while Darrell updates the station over the radio, and finally Ian’s co-worker starts calling for him to return to the ambulance so they can leave. 

Ian pauses before he takes off, “Gotta go babe. Lasagna tonight?” he asks, looking back.

“Sounds good” Mickey answers, still getting a little flustered by the term even after all these years.

Ian knew what he was doing though, and he flashes him a cheeky wink before he jogs off towards the ambulance, jumping in the back and pulling the doors closed before they drive away, sirens no longer blaring.

***Ian’s POV***

Ian hums contentedly in his comfortable seat, peering around Mickey to get a glimpse out the window again as they fly from Chicago to Costa Rica.

He would have preferred the window seat, but Mickey didn’t like flying too much, and had a bad habit of bitching at anyone that stood “too fucking close to him” when they were passing by through the aisle. Mostly, the cramped and crowded environment of an airplane was just much too much for him.

After a few embarrassing arguments with other flyers in the past, Ian realized it was best to keep his husband tucked against the window, and away from any possible offenders. Husband. The word still causes an excited flutter in his stomach.

He turns to smile at said husband, but notices him jerk forward slightly, and his expression immediately turns to one of extreme annoyance while Ian watches in confusion. He arches one dark eyebrow sharply and stands up a bit to flip off the person sitting behind him, “Kick my seat again and I’ll shove my foot up your ass” he warns.

“Mick” Ian giggles softly, “Sit the fuck down and shut up. We’re gonna land soon”.

“I will, after I tell that fucking prick to stop touching my seat”.

“I barely knocked against it” the other passenger argues weakly, but one look at Mickey’s sky-high eyebrows, and he clams up immediately.

Touch down can’t come soon enough, and as soon as they arrive at the Puerto Jiménez Airport, Ian hurries a still annoyed Mickey off the plane and onto the tarmac, who immediately melts into a better mood at the sight of the bright and sunny skies, and the palm trees in the distance.

They had left behind a snowy and windy Chicago December for their honeymoon, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.

Mickey whistles his approval as he pops a cigarette into his mouth outside of the airport’s main entrance, “Shoulda done this years ago” he grins, waving down a car as he grabs some of Ian’s baggage with his own.

Ian takes his own suitcase right back, “We weren’t married years ago” he teases as he loads their travel bags into the car, with a quick “Lapa Rios Lodge” to the driver.

“Shoulda done that years ago too” is all Mickey says, before they drive to the hotel they’ll be staying at for the next week.

Ian is happy to see that it’s as beautiful as the pictures he had seen on the Expedia website, with gigantic palm trees and beautiful tropical gardens, and private pools, all surrounded by a ton of jungle like forest that stretches out just before the ocean. It’s well worth the hefty price tag him and Mickey had paid, for their suite especially.

As soon as they step into their honeymoon bungalow, they strip out of their warmer winter wear from Chicago, and Mickey pulls out a tropical Hawaiian shirt from his bag with an appreciative click of his tongue for Ian’s approval, “Kinda sexy huh?”

“Mmm” Ian agrees wholeheartedly, “Not quite as sexy as what’s underneath though”. He runs his eyes down over Mickey’s body with undisguised lust. Mickey gestures out past the wooden structure of their suite, “Ian, we’re standing in front of a goddamn tropical jungle, all sorts of wild animals and shit, and all you can think about is-“

“I wanna _fuck you_ like an animal” Ian interrupts, the look on Mickey’s face telling him he has no problem with that. “Well maybe I can just shower first, been travelling for like ten-“

“No” Ian says with an adamant shake of his head, “I love the way you smell”.

“Oh yeah, sweat and stale airplane, must be real fuckin attractive” Mickey smirks, but he ends up biting his lip as Ian pulls on the band of the shorts he just fucking put on.

“Go bend over that railing, and enjoy the fucking view” Ian says, smacking his bare ass with an open palm before he starts to pull off his own clothes again. He had been denied joining the mile high-club by a bitchy stewardess earlier, and he would not be denied…Tarzan sex or whatever, now.

Mickey’s loud scoff followed by a, “I ain’t fucking Jane” makes Ian blush as he realizes that he said that last part out loud, but he shakes it off with a grin as he goes to stand behind Mickey, placing his hand over Mickey’s on the railing while he grinds up against him, trying to tease him.  

“Hmm” he hums after a few minutes, peering down over Mickey’s shoulder at his rising hard on, “Seems like you might wanna fuck like an animal too”.

Mickey reaches down to stroke himself with one hand, with three slow pumps before he answers, “Never said I didn’t. Get in me, bitch”. Ian’s cheeks flush pink with pleasure as he pushes the tip of his impatient cock into Mickey’s ass, not bothering to unpack the fucking lube, he just keeps putting his own saliva down there until he gets enough lubrication from it to slide in.

“ _Fuck_ …” the two of them sigh in unison, Mickey still holding on to the wooden railing while Ian slips his arms around his soft stomach to hold him close while he thrusts into him. It’s a fast and messy fuck really, more of an impatient release after their hours of frustrating travel than a real honeymoon love-making, but there’s lots of time for that.

By the time both of them pant through their release, they are sweaty and overheated after having been standing in the hot Costa Rican sun this entire time. Ian doesn’t deny Mickey a shower now, but simply joins him in the walk-in to help scrub him down, his husband doing the same in return for him.

When they fall onto their soft king-sized bed afterwards with their fluffy hotel towels still wrapped around their waists, the flowing white net adorning it closing and opening around them breezily, Ian picks up a red rose that had been left on the bed for them as a honeymoon gift, but he pricks his finger slightly on the edge of a thorn that had accidentally been missed during the removal process.

He hisses a bit at the initial sting, but Mickey just wordlessly takes his tense hand and brings the injured finger up to his mouth, pressing it against his tongue gently until the blood stops beading to the surface.

Ian watches him through soft green eyes, and as soon as Mickey’s lips are free again, Ian lowers on the bed to press up against his chest, kissing him slowly for a long time while Mickey’s left-hand rests on his bare hip, gently squeezing it every so often.

There is some soft music playing in the distance, and the sound of some exotic birds calling, but all Ian can hear is his own labored breathing as he eventually kisses Mickey harder, moving in the bed again to shift on top of him and then up with him while the other man wordlessly encourages him by using his hands to pull him up his chest, and then towards his mouth with his hands behind his neck.

They hesitate for a moment before they kiss again, simply breathing in each other's presence, before they completely give in to each other.

Their patient lips connect, and Ian soon feels Mickey’s tongue sliding in against his own, hot and aggressive while he uses one hand to remove his towel first and then Mickey’s, exposing his lover’s pale hipbones and arousal, he groans into the kiss with want before he shifts downwards to bring Mickey’s swelling cock into his mouth.

He can feel Mickey growing harder around his lips almost immediately, and can sense the way his chest dips when he draws in sharper and more pleasured breaths, reaching down with one hand to squeeze Ian’s free one tightly while the other rests in and grips at his short red locks.

Ian slowly dips Mickey’s length down his tightening throat over and over again, bringing Mickey to the back of it and then up again multiple times before he starts to swirl at the tip with his wet tongue teasingly. After a few minutes, he feels Mickey tapping shakily on his cheek, so he pulls off with a slight wet noise.

He’s leaking himself now, close to blowing his load just from blowing Mickey for so long, so he only gives himself one quick pump before he sinks inside Mickey again. Still opened nicely from the hour before, Mickey lets out a deep and low groan as Ian gets balls deep inside of him, pulling Mickey’s ass and legs closer to his pelvis as he arches into him with unadulterated want.

Mickey lifts his thick legs to rest them over Ian’s shoulders, letting Ian go as deep as he physically can, and the two of them moan at the intense pressure, their heavy eyes still managing to hold each other’s heated gaze through the eye-closing levels of pleasure.

Ian continues to roll his hips, before him and Mickey reach desperately for each other’s hands again as they reach their climax together, grabbing each other so tightly that their nails leave red marks in the other’s skin.

Ian stays hovering above Mickey for a moment after he cums, almost dripping with sweat again, before he sits back to wipe his chest with one of their forgotten towels, cleaning up Mickey’s external release.

Mickey heads to their bathroom to clean himself up a bit, but when he returns he finds Ian had left their king-sized bed with the white sheets damp from their sweat, and is standing and looking out over their picturesque view instead.

The sun is starting to go down, so Ian and Mickey stand beside each other in silence for a while on the outer porch, looking out over the ocean and the orange and yellow sky, the palm trees softening underneath the end-of-day light.

Being here in this beautiful place, seeing all of this stunning nature with Mickey by his side, is just more than Ian ever could have imagined in his wildest dreams, it’s like…it’s like….

“ _Paradise_ ” he hears himself whisper out loud.

“Yeah” Mickey agrees breathlessly, but as his hand reaches out for Ian’s, warm fingers brushing against his own tentatively, he looks over and sees Mickey is looking at him, not the view.  

His husband clears his throat a little, his uncertain blue eyes flickering down at the ground and then up again before he speaks quietly, “Thank you”.

Ian’s forehead crumples a bit, “For what?” he asks, genuinely not understanding. Mickey had actually paid for more than half of this trip, because his salary was slightly better than Ian’s.

“For loving me man”.

Ian bites his lip and shakes his head as he realizes where Mickey is going mentally right now, “I know your dad did a number on you Mickey, but someday, I hope you’ll understand that you deserve all of this, and more. You are _not_ hard to love. You never have been. Falling in love with you was the one of the most effortless things I’ve ever fucking done”. 

Mickey raises his eyebrows a bit and shrugs casually, “Yeah. Could say the same about you though. It’s just, I look at all this…” he gestures out at the brilliant sun setting over the softly rolling ocean, the crisp green palm trees standing tall around them, “And sometimes it feels like I got dropped in someone else’s life, ever since that fucking day at Oak Forest when I was seventeen. I’m really lucky Ian, and I fucking _know_ that, and I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t. I wake up and I think that every damn day”.

Ian smiles softly at him, “I know, Mick. I know, because I’m lucky too”. He gently grabs the side of Mickey’s head to bring it towards his lips, kissing the dark hair above his ear before he whispers lovingly, “My husband”.

And then he reaches around his husband’s back to entwine Mickey’s tattooed fingers around his own, curling their hands together as the two of them watch the Costa Rican sunset fall slowly around their private bungalow.


	98. Him, The Beach, Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey’s honeymoon in Costa Rica continues. Really just a ton of fluff, and some smut too, because what else should a honeymoon be? <3

***Mickey’s POV***

“Mmm” Mickey hums lazily as he is prodded awake by an impatient finger pushing into his shoulder. He opens his sharp blue eyes from his little nap on the open bungalow porch and sees his husband smiling at him, holding out a flute glass filled with what looks like orange juice towards him.

“What’s that?” Mickey mumbles sleepily, as he tries to pull himself up in the hammock. “Mimosa” Ian answers, taking a big sip of his own. Mickey sniffs the drink before he tries it and notes the taste of alcohol on his tongue through the tangy orange juice.

“It’s champagne and orange juice” Ian clarifies, grinning as Mickey downs it. “Sweet. C’mere” he reaches out to grab the taller ginger and pulls him onto the hammock with him, the thick rope seat swaying a bit at their sudden combined weight.

Ian laughs and the sound is like music to his ears, the redhead has been so relaxed and happy for the past few days.

But he _is_ also getting a little restless, and while Mickey would be more than happy to spend the entire fucking week in Costa Rica just lounging in the sun or by the pool, having sex in their incredible room, and going nuts at the buffet in the main building, he knows Ian wants a little more out of their trip. He’s been spending more and more time outside, exploring the grounds.

His sharp white Irish skin is already tanning a bit from the Central American sun, but then again, Mickey’s is too, and it’s funny to realize that their tans are pretty much even over their entire bodies, because they’ve spent so much fucking time on their private porch naked.

Speaking of naked…Mickey casually shifts in the hammock to reach for the waistband of Ian’s green swim shorts, Ian leaning back without comment to help him get to his dick. He’s soft right now, but just twenty seconds in Mickey’s warm mouth changes that, and he grins as Mickey sucks him off lazily.

“So here’s what I’m thinking” he says, leaning back on his shoulders a bit to watch with interest as Mickey flicks the tip of his erection with his tongue, “I know you probably won’t go horseback riding with me again, even though _I_ really want to- _ah_ , don’t use teeth you dick, let me finish!”

Mickey gives up on the gentle pressure he had teasingly put on Ian’s shaft with his teeth, and returns to his earlier bobbing movements while the redhead continues talking.

“But you did say I could choose what we did today, so I thought of a compromise. There’s a conservation zoo thing nearby, half hour trip on the lodge bus, and I’d still like to see some animals”.

Mickey doesn’t comment on the idea, but simply continues to suck on Ian, with a little more vigour than he did before.

“Is that a… _oh fuck Mick_ …is that a yes?” his husband asks breathily as his balls start to tense. Mickey waits until Ian lets out another groan and empties into his mouth before he pulls away and answers, wiping his mouth off on his arm.

“Fine” he says simply.

“Best husband ever” Ian beams, kissing him on the cheek before he shoves him out of the way to get out of the hammock. “What, now?” Mickey asks in disbelief. He’d been thinking a few more drinks…maybe a quick swim… “Yes, now. The next bus leaves in fifteen. Go put on your sandals” the redhead says firmly.

Mickey does some half-hearted grumbling, but follows Ian back inside their bungalow anyways, stepping into his sandals and buttoning up his floral shirt before he follows Ian out of their suite and down through the grounds towards the bus lot.

“Phone, water bottle, Kind bars, sweaters, camera…” Ian does a verbal checklist of their inventory as they step onto the waiting bus, pulling Mickey towards the back seat with a grin. He doesn’t even have to say it, Mickey knows what he’s thinking.

He doesn’t however know what the fuck Ian was thinking when they get to the conservation zoo thing or whatever, because from the informative signs at the entrance it looks like every fucking thing in there is either a bird, an insect, or a snake, and he absolutely hates all three.

“Seriously Ian? I thought you meant like elephants and lions and shit” he says, trying to hide his disgust as they pass by a hairy tarantula exhibit. “Well it’s a conservation park, so it’s native animals” Ian says with an air of explanation, “And it’s not a real zoo. Ooh look, you can hold the parrots! Let’s-“

“No” Mickey cuts him off abruptly, "You wanna risk getting your fucking face clawed out, be my guest man. But don’t think I’m gonna let that beady eyed fuck anywhere near me”.

But Ian just laughs and rolls his eyes as he approaches the avian expert, Mickey following him reluctantly.

“Can I?” Ian asks, with an almost childlike excitement. “Hold out your arm” she says, indicating how Ian should do so. He follows her lead exactly and the parrot steps over onto his waiting arm. “Oh my God, it’s feet…Mickey look! Take my picture!” Ian chatters excitedly, and Mickey tries not to roll his eyes as he snaps a picture. Frankly, the only thing he is enjoying about this damn place is Ian.

The giant red parrot all of sudden squawks loudly and lifts its wings, arching his feathered neck towards Mickey without warning, who practically shits himself.

“Fuck off!” he yells at the stupid bird, the woman standing there with them looking at him in surprise at the expletive. “Fuck off!” the parrot screeches back, lifting his wings again and fluttering them. Mickey stares at it in disbelief, his dark eyebrows shooting up on his forehead, "Did it just tell me to-“

“Scarlet Macaws can pick up on a wide range of human words, repeating them back almost exactly the way they heard them” the keeper tells him disapprovingly, as Ian tries to stifle his laughter. The bird side steps across Ian’s arm until it’s beside Mickey, tipping its head at him curiously. “Fuck off” it repeats, calmly.

Mickey can’t help it, and despite himself, he laughs at the stupid thing. “Maybe you’re not such a fucking idiot after all” he says, cautiously reaching out to touch the back of its feathered head. The parrot stays still enough not to freak him out again, but the handler starts giving him shit, “Please don’t swear in front of our birds, we have a lot of families here and-“

“Fucking idiot!” the bird screams, and with that she takes the Macaw back from Ian, shaking her head at them as she walks away.

Ian inspects the pictures that Mickey took for him and declares them satisfactory before they continue on their way too, and while Mickey keeps what he feels is an appropriate distance, Ian goes right up to all the glass exhibits of the nasty giant bugs and shit, and right up to the cages of the less entertaining birds too.

When they get to the snakes though, Mickey hangs back even further, but soon Ian is dragging him by the hand again, towards a giant ass snake slung over some Indiana Jones looking motherfucker’s shoulder outside of it’s cage. He immediately starts to protest, “Ian, really, I don’t-“

“Are we allowed to touch it?” Ian asks right over him, Mickey grimacing as the snake’s thin tongue flickers out towards him. “Why is it doing that?” he asks, uneasily wondering if it’s trying to size him up. He’s seen these fuckers digesting entire cows and shit on Animal Planet before.

“That’s how they smell. She’s checking you out” the keeper explains, “And yes you can touch her, she’s very friendly”.

“Come on Mick” Ian encourages as he pets the scaly reptile, but Mickey doesn’t budge. “You’d like her if she told you to fuck off” Ian jokes, but the keeper, not being in on the joke, doesn’t agree. “No, friendly or not, if Sheba got real mad her fangs could do some painful damage and…are you alright sir? You look very pale”.

Mickey blushes back into his normal color as Ian and the keeper stare at him, “Fine. Just ready to go” he mutters, and Ian smiles, thanking the keeper before he takes Mickey’s hand and walks back through the eco trail with him. They are almost to the exit when Mickey hears a fluttering and then feels a sharp grip on his shoulders, gasping in surprise before he hears another cheerful, “Fuck off. Fucking idiot” right in his ear.

“Oh my god. Don’t move Mickey” Ian says with glee, fumbling for his phone to press record, “Swear back at him. I want this for my Instagram”.

Mickey rolls his eyes at him, “Ian, please-“

“Ian, please” the parrot interrupts impatiently, and of course Mickey can’t help but laugh again. They get about a minute of footage of Mickey and the parrot talking to and swearing at each other before the keeper finds her escaped parrot and returns him to his post with one last disapproving glance at the two honeymooners.

But Ian’s not quite ready to go home yet, even after all that adventure, and he somehow ends up convincing Mickey to buy some hiking boots and go on a tourist trek to find some waterfalls hidden inside a nearby protected forest.

They arrive at the entrance of the trail and a few other hikers pile off the bus with them, including a family of five that pauses at the entrance, beside the sign indicating that the waterfalls are an hour walk ahead. “Excuse me,” the mother says in a friendly tone, smiling at Ian, “Would you mind taking a picture of my family and me by the sign?” Ian looks at the five of them, two little boys and an older girl beaming up at their parents, “Oh” he says in surprise, “Of course…you have a beautiful family”.

Mickey waits patiently while Ian takes a few shots for the family, the dad stopping to ask, “Just you two vacationing?” “Yeah, just us” Ian says, his voice brightening a bit as he adds, “It’s our honeymoon”.

“Oh wow, good for you. We ended up in Vegas for ours, kind of cheesy. It’s a lot better doing things with your family, I have to say” the dad says with a smile, holding his small daughters hand when she reaches out for his. “Yeah, I bet” Ian says softly, waving at them as they leave down the trail ahead of them.

Mickey takes Ian’s hand once they’re gone, but he can’t help but notice how fucking quiet he is for at least a good ten minutes as they walk down on the cleared trail together, and then Ian asks, “Do you ever talk to Jeff and Louis? How’s Melissa doing?”

Mickey thinks back to the gay couple that lived beside his foster family in Memphis, and their kid. She had to be at least sixteen by now. “Good, I think” he answers awkwardly, wondering where the fuck that came from. It’s not like he was ever really friends with them or anything.

Ian nods at his answer, and then thankfully drops the subject, instead just stopping to take pictures of the wild birds, the trail and the tall trees every so often, or just Mickey. When they finally reach the falls, Mickey has to admit, the sight practically takes his breath away. Brilliant white-water splashes down over edged steps of rock almost forty feet tall, straight down into a brilliant blue pool of water beneath them, trees, ivy and moss adding various shades of alluring green to it all.

Mickey finds himself unlacing his boots before he does much thinking, and Ian looks over at him in surprise for a moment before he does the same. They’d gone slow enough that the other hikers had already arrived and passed the falls, going onto the next site of the hike, so there was no one to tell them they shouldn’t be climbing around them. Mickey edges carefully around the edge of the natural pool, sticking to the drier looking rocks as he approaches the falls sideways instead of head on, Ian close beside him and balancing on his offered arm every so often. “Aha, yes!” Mickey calls out as he finally steps down into the shallower part of the pool, walking across solid rock towards the dripping water passing over the overhang.

His voice echoes loudly in the hollow space, and he turns around to see Ian looking up and around the cave like structure in wonder as they step in behind the falls. “Can you believe this?” Mickey asks, but there’s awe and disbelief edged in his own voice. This place is just amazing, like something right out of a glossy magazine’s pages. He steps further out from the overhang, right under a steady downfall of fresh water, and he shakes his head as it hits his skin, refreshing and pure.

“C’mere” he calls out, blinking as the water drips down over his eyes through his wet hair. Ian approaches him, reaching out, and Mickey grabs his arms, pulling him right up against his body and to his lips underneath the falls without another thought.

Ian kisses him back just as hard.

The water is still crashing down on them, and it’s not heavy enough to break them apart, but they inch over to a place that just drips down onto them as they kiss anyways. Slow and languid, Ian’s mouth opens and closes over his, his tongue lazily passing over his wet lips every so often as Mickey’s makes the same exploration.

They stay there making out underneath  the waterfall until they start to get cold, and then they leave the falls, carefully climbing back up over the rocks and onto the trail to retrieve their hiking boots and thin but warm sweaters. They don’t have enough daylight left to finish the trail, but both are more than satisfied with what they did get to see, and they head back to their bungalow happily to spend their evening with a privately ordered dinner for just the two of them, complete with chocolate-covered strawberries and beer for dessert.

***Ian’s POV***

“Open your mouth” Mickey murmurs, reaching over to press a piece of fruit to Ian’s lips, who’s sitting in a comfy wicker seat about a foot or so away from him. Ian opens his mouth and Mickey slips the sweet strawberry in, licking his lips and watching with interest as Ian chews and then swallows the treat.

“Your turn”.

Mickey closes his eyes and tips back his head and Ian slowly lowers a strawberry onto his waiting tongue, moving his own mouth down to Mickey’s perfect nipple while he’s occupied.

He gives it one hard pull with his lips and feels it almost immediately harden before Mickey slaps his head gently, “Gonna make me choke dumbass”.

Ian starts to lean upwards for a sweet and playful kiss, but instead ends up snorting into Mickey’s lips with laughter as they hear a loud and jarring screech from just outside that had become more than familiar over the past four days.

Initially, the sound, something that could be compared to a bellowing pig, had scared the shit out of the both of them, but after a couple angry phone calls to the office on the second day they were informed that the sound was the very loud call of a howler monkey, and nothing unusual for the area.

“That’s it!” Mickey growls in fed-up frustration, getting up from his lounge seat and stalking towards their open balcony style porch. Whereas Ian just found the monkeys funny, Mickey had zero patience for their noise. He slams his beer bottle down angrily on the outdoor table, and then squints upwards.

“You fucker” he hisses, and as Ian looks over at his expletive he sees the howler monkey is actually perched in a tree right above them, looking down at them curiously. The howler calls out again, a loud and intimidating grunt, but Mickey’s not having any of it, and he flips him off openly, yelling, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

The monkey bounds away through the trees with a shriek, rustling them heavily in the darkness, and Mickey turns to Ian, satisfied. “Just had to show the fucker who’s-“

Ian covers his hand with his fist to stifle a laugh as the monkey abruptly returns and with an agile swing drops down to the table beside Mickey, grabbing his beer and scampering across the porch with it held to it's puckered lips.

“What are you laughing…what the fuck!” Mickey’s shoulders tense as he realizes exactly what Ian is laughing at, and he looks around for something to fucking throw at the monkey, but Ian tsks at him, “You’re not allowed to interfere with them Mick”.

“He took my fucking beer!” Mickey protests, but Ian shakes his head no again. The howler monkey dribbles the rest of the beer over its lips and tosses the bottle to the ground below, loudly challenging Mickey again in response to his previous aggression, but Mickey just presses his lips together in a firm line, flipping him off before he heads back inside the bungalow.

“C’mere my little howler monkey” Ian says with a cheeky grin, patting the empty space on the large bed beside himself that he had stretched out on. “Not a fucking monkey, and do you need to be reminded that I’m not little?” Mickey growls, but his annoyed comment only makes Ian raise an eyebrow in interest.

“Maybe I do…” he says, biting his lip and nodding his head slowly.

“Oh”.

Mickey’s tone quickly goes from annoyed to pleased, and he climbs up onto the bed, smacking Ian’s ass to get him to roll over.

The howler monkey has nothing on the sounds that Mickey has Ian make that night.

-

On the morning of their very last day in Costa Rica, Ian wakes up to the sound of an unexpected alarm on his phone and reaches across the bed for his husband, but instead of touching warm skin, his fingertips reach a piece of paper instead. He opens his eyes in confusion and pulls the lined note to his eyes to read it.

Still wanna go to the private beach today? Get dressed in something comfortable and meet me there around six. Got a surprise for you. - _Mick_

What? Ian carries the note around with himself as he gets dressed impatiently, pulling on a hat, a loose white button-down t-shirt and some dark brown khaki shorts as he wonders what the fuck Mickey is talking about. He must have set an alarm on his phone to wake him up when he wasn’t looking last night.

The private beach is about a twenty-minute walk away from their lodge, so he smokes to relax a bit while he walks there, checking his watch every so often. It’s 5:45 now.

Ian’s curiosity only grows as he reaches the empty and private beach, a few early risers staying at the same lodge leaving right as he arrives. The sun is rising now, casting a warm glow over the sand and water. Ian takes his sandals off as soon as his feet touch the warm and soft sand, walking barefoot until he reaches the open stretch of the beach, and then he squints into the slight distance, thinking his eyes must be fucking with him. He must still be dreaming.

There’s some woman standing there, pointing and directing a dark-haired individual as he controls a stunning white and grey horse into doing a steady trot in circles around her on the beach.

After a solid minute of just staring Ian walks over slowly; the sand grainy yet still soft beneath his feet, pretty sure his mouth is hanging open as he realizes his green eyes did not deceive him on this Costa Rican beach.

The woman turns to look at him as he nears them, Mickey having nudged the obedient horse into a full stop as soon as he saw him approaching in the distance. “Oh good, you’re here” the trainer says, smiling at him as he stops in the sand. “I’m here” Ian repeats slowly, looking past her to Mickey, who simply shrugs, but there’s a small smile on his lips.

“Just bring her back to the edge of the beach in a few hours, and I’ll collect her” the lady tells Mickey, before she pats the horse’s pale grey nose with an affectionate murmur, “There’s a good girl Kalila, see you soon”. She walks away from them, but it’s a while before either of them speak, Mickey sitting up there on the horse and waiting, making small clicking noises against his cheek when the horse tries to move too much either way, and holding the reins easily.

He’s wearing a white v neck t-shirt, and Ian suddenly notices how much he actually tanned on this trip. His skin is light and golden, and it makes his blue eyes stand out even more as he smiles nervously.

“You uh, gonna join me up here or what?”

The horse swishes her tail behind him patiently, the sun rising softly behind them.

“You…when did you? Why? I thought you…“ Ian’s mind is tripping over itself while he tries to come up with a reasonable question as he stares at his incredible husband, thinking every fantasy he’s ever fucking had is now wrapping up right into this moment.

Mickey just shakes his head softly at his questions, “Ian, it’s our honeymoon. I wanted it to be perfect for you, so when you said this is what you wanted to do a couple days ago, I just thought fuck it. I’ll find a horse that’s not an asshole, get a quick lesson, and surprise you”.

His expression quickly shifts to one of worry, “Why are you fucking crying? I did this to make you happy”.

“I am fucking happy. Dumbass” Ian grins, the happy tears still pooling but not falling, “I love you so Goddamn much Mick”.

Mickey looks up at the blue sky for a moment before he looks back down at him, “Well, are you gonna get up here with me or not then?” He extends a hand down as Ian approaches the horse, pressing one hand against her warm and steady side, while the other grabs Mickey’s as he helps pull him up, sand flinging from Ian’s feet as he does a little jump to get onto the horse’s back behind Mickey.

As soon as they are settled properly onto the saddle pad, Mickey clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and the docile horse turns and begins a steady walk towards and then down the shoreline.

Ian wraps his arms around his husband warmly after a few moments, who leans back to kiss him, the two of them falling into the romantic moment as the horse walks evenly against the water’s edge, her hooves quiet in the wet sand.

Right now, Ian’s heart sort of feels like it’s being gently squeezed inside his chest, because he didn’t realize it was possible to love someone this much. To be loved this much. But he’s reminded of it every day.

“I love you so much” he whispers behind Mickey’s ear again, the other man relaxing a bit more at the affectionate words. Every so often, Kalila swings her head a bit, or swishes her long white tail, but Mickey doesn’t even flinch anymore, he just runs his tattooed hand over her white mane, murmuring to her softly every once a while, reassuring words Ian can’t hear.

The two of them smile contentedly as the horse begins to trot down the shoreline, picking up a bit of speed on her own, and after a while Ian asks excitedly, “Should we see how fast she can go?”

Mickey looks back at him, biting his lip, and Ian worries he pushed him too far with getting over his fear after he already did all of this, but Mickey just lets go of his lip to kiss him and then digs his heels into the horse’s sides, clicking loudly as he urges to her to run.

The young and eager horse doesn’t need to be told twice, her pace quickens and then doubles as she gallops freely down the shoreline through the wet sand, spraying water upwards when the waves come up to meet her delicate hooves, and Ian and Mickey laugh with delight, holding on tight as she flies down the beach. 

Ian, holding Mickey close in his strong arms, grins as a thought comes to his mind and he calls out in a playful tone, “Teach me how to ride like a man!”

Mickey laughs hard as he catches the reference immediately, hollering back, “And chew tobacco like a man!”

“And _spit_ like a man!”

Mickey hocks a loogie into the blurring sand that they are racing past, the two of them laughing even harder as they bump up and down wildly on the horse's saddle pad.

When their laughter eventually dies down, Mickey signals for the horse to slow down, and she obediently slows and then stops, the water standing just past her hooves as she waits patiently for direction. Ian is confused until Mickey leans back to give him a slow kiss, his tattooed fingers gently exploring the opening at the top of his shirt before he tips his head towards the ground meaningfully.

Ian looks around the empty beach, and then behind himself, holding onto Mickey’s forearm again as he lowers himself down the horse’s side and then jumps the rest of the way down, Mickey doing the same afterwards.

He grabs the horse’s worn leather reigns once he hits the sand and leads her a few more yards down the beach until they reach a palm tree, tying her there in the shade before him and Ian walk a few more feet away to lie down and undress each other among some tall grasses growing up through the sand.

Ian lies on his back in the soft sand as Mickey leans over his firm chest, each of them arching towards each other so they can continue to kiss passionately while Ian’s fingers slowly slide over Mickey’s bare cheeks and up towards his ass, gently pressing a finger lubricated with saliva inside him.

Mickey’s cheeks flush red a few minutes later, such a beautiful color, Ian thinks, as he looks up at him in wonder while Mickey lowers himself down onto his erection.

He’ll never get tired of that. Never get tired of this, he thinks. He wants him so badly it hurts.

He groans deeply with satisfaction as Mickey’s hands flatten on his chest, his husband’s forehead wrinkling in pleasure as he reaches his deepest point inside him with a small gasp.

Ian places his own hands over Mickey’s on his bare chest, lifting and rolling his own hips slightly while Mickey grinds his ass down into him, gently fucking while the ocean rolls loudly behind them, and every so often a tropical bird sings in the distance.

A small breeze moves short locks of black hair across Mickey’s forehead, while perspiration mists his hairline, and Ian can’t help but reach upwards to run his fingers through that familiar dark hair, smoothing it over with affection.

***Mickey’s POV***

Heaven has got to be a place on fucking earth.

There’s no other explanation for this, for the explosive pleasure building in Mickey’s groin, in his entire fucking body, as he rides _Ian_ on a private beach in Costa Rica, as he rides his _husband._

A gentle tropical breeze attempts to cool his flushed skin every so often, but he still feels like he’s on fire as Ian groans beneath him, reveling in a pleasure that Mickey knows only he can give him, hitting a level that only _he_ can bring him to. Every so often Ian’s soft lips part to let out a small gasp, followed by a hushed whisper of Mickey’s name, and there’s not a feeling more powerful in this fucking world.

Mickey thinks he can… _knows_ he can, cum without being touched this time, and he focuses entirely on what he is doing and the feeling of Ian inside of him, soon closing his eyes and not seeing how Ian looks up at him in absolute wonder.

Racing thoughts blaze through Mickey’s mind as he digs his fingers into Ian’s chest, the other man firmly grasping his tattooed fingers right back, and soon Ian’s name is spilling from his parted lips as cum spills over his belly, and he feels Ian fill him with a familiar liquid warmth just seconds later as his husband groans out his name.

They hold each other close for a few moments, breathing out unsteadily as the last quakes of their orgasms leave their bodies, and then Ian launches upwards to kiss him again, pulling him down onto the sand beside him. Mickey runs his hands through Ian’s red hair, and before they separate, they press their foreheads together for a moment, a silent moment of comfort before Ian speaks.

“We better get dressed babe”.

Mickey nods. He had booked their time with the horse this early in the morning on purpose because he knew the beach would be empty, but that was already well over an hour and a half ago, and he knows they are already lucky no one had come wandering down towards their end of the beach yet.

They pull on their light summer clothing leisurely, stopping for a sweet kiss every so often, and after Ian offers him a hand to pull him up from the sand, he puts his own hat down on Mickey’s head, who grins.

“How do I look?” he asks. 

“Like my husband” Ian answers, and then with a delighted laugh, he grabs Mickey’s hand and pulls him down the beach and towards the ocean, the two of them laughing and playing on the shoreline like a couple of fucking kids.

Who would have thought that two pieces of south side trash like them would end up here someday, best friends married and running down a Costa Rican beach? But Ian makes him feel free. He always has. Mickey closes his eyes for a moment, pausing in place as he realizes that one day, this moment, them being this damn young and carefree, will just be a fond memory.

Ian notices him stop abruptly mid-run and immediately does the same, asking gently, “Everything okay Mick?”, as he searches his face in concern.

But it doesn’t matter how fucking old they’ll get, or whatever damn obstacles life still has to throw their way, because he’ll always have this. Them. Him and Ian. Mickey smiles back at him, contentment flooding his entire body as he answers honestly. 

“Yeah man, everything's fine”.

He takes Ian’s waiting hand again, the two of them picking up their earlier pace running along the ocean’s shoreline as the same peaceful thoughts run through his mind.

Him, the beach, us.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In terms of what I still want to write for THIS fic, it's basically about Mickey and Ian trying to/starting a family in a few years. That's what I still want to put into this story for an eventual happy ending. It won't be easy of course but I can see it spanning the fic some more chapters. If you aren't into that (even I have a hard time picturing them as parents at times lol) it's probably a good idea to take this chapter as the last :)
> 
> Thanks again for reading as always <3


	99. A Wish We Spoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few years of marriage, it becomes clear something is missing in Ian's life. But can Mickey come to terms with that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a handful of chapters left!! It's bittersweet, I love giving these two a long story but at the same time I'm ready for it to come to an end.  
> While you wait for the last chapters, maybe check out the other fic I'm working on 'Someone to Ride the River With' it's basically Gallavich in the Old West :)
> 
> *I combined two chapters into one here, so I wouldn't upset anyone too much. Read til the end* :P

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey grins as the waiter brings a slice of cake over to their table with a flickering candle stuck inside it, and a ‘25’ written in melted dark chocolate placed delicately on the plate. Every year since Ian’s eighteenth birthday, he took him out on a fancy dinner date just like this one, his one exception from the casual dates he preferred; like getting chicken wings, going out for beer, or watching movies curled up on their couch.

Ian smiles and says a quiet thank you to the waiter before he leaves to give them privacy.

They’d been together for almost nine years now. Married for three. But not a day went by that Mickey didn’t look at his husband with some sort of amazement that he somehow managed to end up with this man.

The candle is still flickering insistently on top of the cake, so Mickey prompts Ian like he does every year, his eyebrow slightly raised, “You uh, gonna make a wish?”

Every year since he turned eighteen, Ian would smile at him and say, “What would I wish for Mick?”

But this year, Ian doesn’t smile. And he doesn’t ask Mickey the question he’s come to expect. He stares at the slice of cake for a long moment, closing his eyes briefly before he blows out the candle. Then he smiles faintly, handing the second fork to Mickey.

Taking it uncertainly, Mickey can’t help but ask, “So…what did you wish for?” What did Ian want, that he wasn’t already giving him? They had come out years ago, lived in a nice one-bedroom apartment, had good jobs, and were married and living happily.

Or so he thought.

Ian hesitates, so Mickey reaches across the table to grab his tense hand, “Just tell me”.

“I…wished for a family Mick”.

Mickey tuts in his throat, softly asking “Still miss Mo huh? Maybe we could think about getting another dog.”

To be honest, Mickey himself had been absolutely devastated when his old dog had passed away a few months ago, because him and Ian and Mo had always been sort of like a little family in his mind. Ian had watched him sob with a completely broken heart for the very first time in his life while they were at the vet’s office, Ian holding Mickey’s shoulders comfortingly while he said goodbye.

Ian looks up at him, a strange expression on his face. “I don’t want another dog. I miss him, but this has nothing to do with that”. Mickey shrinks back a bit, realizing what he’s saying. “Ian…”

“I know” Ian says bitterly. Mickey had told him on more than one occasion that he didn’t really want to have kids, and Ian had told him on more than one occasion that he _did_ want to have kids. It wasn’t that Mickey didn’t like kids, they were okay sometimes, but he just didn’t want anything to change in their marriage. He was happy just having Ian to come home to. 

That night when they get into bed together, Ian lays down on his side and doesn’t make any sort of indication that he wants to have sex or mess around, and instead just quietly accepts the kiss that Mickey gives him goodnight. And then he faces the other way, barely responding when Mickey puts an arm around him.

So of course, even after Ian’s fallen deeply asleep, Mickey’s still awake, sitting up in their bed, smoking and biting his fingernails, his thoughts running scattered through his mind. Ian had been making his want to eventually be a father clear for the past two years, but now it seemed like the want was looming heavier than ever on his mind.

Mickey still doesn’t feel like this is something he actually wants, but when he looks over at the dozing twenty-five-year-old beside him, he almost sags with guilt.

Ian was married to him, chose to spend the rest of his life with him, and he was going to deny him having any chance to be a father?

***Ian’s POV***

A couple weeks after his birthday, Mickey asks Ian to meet him at a coffee shop right after work, which is a little unusual for him. Okay, very unusual. Either they’d make coffee at home or he’d just bring him one.

So when he walks in to the Elm Street Café and spots the only man in a police uniform sitting with a very serious looking business woman, he’s not sure what to think. “Hi…” Ian says curiously, shooting Mickey a glance as he sits down beside him.

“Hey Ian. This is Miranda. She’s, she’s um, an adoption person or whatever”.

Ian’s eyes practically bulge out of his head, “What?”

“Adoption counsellor” the woman corrects, as her eyes narrow a bit in suspicion, “I’m sorry Mikhailo, you made it seem as though you had discussed this as a couple already”.

“We did” Ian quickly blurts, realizing his mistake and quickly trying to smooth it over. If he made it seem like they weren’t ready, he’d blow this whole thing. He’d just have to shake Mickey with joy later. He reaches over to take his husband’s warm hands, noticing the way the counsellor’s eyes flicker down to his tattoos.

“I have been going over the files you submitted for the both of you, Mikhailo. On a positive note, you are married, have had a long-term relationship, and are both well employed. However, you did have a juvenile record, Ian has a history with medicated mental illness, and…to be frank, biological parents choose who their adoptive parents will be. I mean no offense, but there is less of a demand for same sex parents. Also, would you consider having your tattoos removed?”

Mickey’s hands start to ball into fists, but Ian answers over him, “He’s not getting his tattoos removed”. Mickey seems angrier about the first part though, “They don’t want their fuckin kid but they give a shit about whether it’s two gay guys raising them?”

“It’s just statistical evidence sir. It doesn’t mean we won’t eventually find a baby for you to adopt, but it may take a longer time” she says gently.

Ian feels his eyes pricking with tears and he doesn’t know why, so he tries to brush them away immediately, the woman’s face softening a bit when she looks at him. And then Mickey comes into his blurry vision, holding the side of his face, “Hey…hey. It just means we have to wait a little longer. It doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen”.

Ian nods, and forces himself to smile, but to be honest he had been expecting this to happen. He knew exactly how himself and Mickey would appear as an adoptive option. Less than ideal. And that broke his heart a little more than he was willing to admit in front of a stranger.

“Okay. But you can put us on a list, right?” he asks, clearing his throat.

“I can. Do you have any preferences for the type of baby you are looking to adopt?”

Mickey looks confused, “Type? Do you mean like white or some shit?”

“Race…gender…”

Ian shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter. But I think we would prefer the baby being from the United States”.

She nods, “Those are the only adoptions our agency deals with. Over the next week, I will be interviewing you both together and separately, and will need to do a routine home visit in order to pass as you as acceptable parents. Mikhailo, you have my schedule…”

Ian listens to them make plans and numbly shakes her hand before she leaves, and then it’s just him and Mickey again. Who looks worried. “Did you uh, change your mind or something? I know I should have said something earlier, but I was worried I would chicken out or something if I didn’t just do it today”.

Ian shakes his head, “I love you. I would never change my mind about wanting a kid with you”.

***Mickey’s POV***

The adoption agency never calls. Not once. Mickey would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, but what hurt more was seeing how much Ian was giving up hope. It had been almost two years since their initial application, and every month or so he would hear Ian making phone calls from the kitchen at night or when he was laying down in their bedroom during the day, quietly asking if anything had come up.

Mickey swallowed hard each time he heard those conversations and had to pretend he didn’t, holding Ian a little tighter in bed those nights. For the first time in his life he wished there was a way he could give Ian a damn baby himself. Surrogates were out of the question, neither of them could ever hope to save enough money for one and survive at the same time on their wages, and how the fuck were they supposed to choose one anyways?

But one day, long after they had given up hope, Fiona calls. She tells them one of her friends is seven months pregnant, Jasmine, and doesn’t want to keep the baby when it’s born. Fiona had lobbied hard for them as soon as Jasmine had admitted the truth to her, and she had agreed to meet with them. Coffee with Jasmine at their apartment doesn’t take long, before she’s telling them they can have the baby when it’s born.

As soon as she leaves, Ian bursts into tears, smiling at him through them as he garbles, “We’re gonna be dads Mick. I’m gonna be a dad”. Mickey feels a strange swell in his chest as he looks at him, “Yeah Ian. We are”.

He tries not to let Ian see how nervous he is now that this is all in motion, and with only two months left they are left scrambling to arrange their home for a newborn baby, and get their work schedules sorted so one of them is always home. Ian is beyond the moon, always fucking smiling and telling anyone who will listen, strangers, _everyone_ , that he’s going to be a dad, but Mickey simply forces himself to smile and grin, like he’s just as excited.

He doesn’t even tell Ian how he feels, because he’s scared it’ll be the end of their marriage if he backs out now. If he lost Ian, he’d lose everything.

It’s not until their first ultrasound with Jasmine that it all changes for him. He’s standing there awkwardly, watching her gigantic belly get smeared with something that looks like lube, while Ian holds her hand and talks excitedly to her about keeping the gender a surprise. His eyes drift to the screen, and then he sees it.

It’s like the room goes silent for a moment, he doesn’t see or hear anything but that tiny person on the screen, that little heartbeat that’s going to make them dads. And when Ian reaches for him, tells him it’s okay, it’s okay to be emotional, Mickey realizes that there’s tears in his eyes. Because that little grey thing on the screen is a baby.

Their baby.

***Ian’s POV***

Their lives had changed so quickly, that at times Ian and Mickey would find themselves looking around like, what am I supposed to be doing now? Jasmine had been quiet the past week or so, but her labour was rapidly approaching, so they figured she probably wasn’t feeling well.

Their apartment was almost unrecognizable. It was spotless, organized, everything in place for their baby to come home. There was a new wooden crib in their room, simple, with soft blankets and a mobile hanging above it that Debbie had bought for them. Their cupboards were filled with formula powder and bottles, their linen closet with diapers and wipes. Mickey had sold his Enduro for a more family friendly car, and Ian had purchased a brand-new car seat.

Mickey, like many other times in his life, had done something for Ian that he could never repay him before. But in the end, it seemed like he had done something for himself without even realizing it. He was happy, excited even, and he wasn’t trying to hide it. There’s a picture on their fridge of an ultrasound that Jasmine had given them last month, taped up carefully by Mickey.

It’s 5:30pm when Ian gets the call from Fiona. He’s at home alone after finishing his shift early, it had been a fairly quiet day with most of their calls being to elderly patient’s homes, when his sister calls.

“Hey Fiona!” he answers, pressing down a picture of him and Mickey on their wedding day into a scrapbook she had given him. “Hi Ian. Are you at home?” her voice is very careful, cautious almost, and Ian immediately tenses.

“Yes. What’s going on? Why do you sound like that?”

“Ian, I need to tell you something. I’m so sorry…”

***Mickey’s POV***

Mickey rolls his shoulders as he walks up to his and Ian’s apartment, pressing the teddy bear he bought after work today for the baby between his arm and his chest as he unlocks the door. He’d been doing street patrol when he passed a baby clothing store in the cruiser, and the sight of the soft bear in the window made him park the car and go inside immediately.

As soon as he steps inside, he feels a painful energy wash over him, and he looks towards their kitchen table to see Ian sitting there, his phone on the table in front of him, his head in his hands. He looks like shit, and Mickey approaches gently, putting the bear down on the table in front of him.

“Look what I found today for the little Gallagher-Milkovich” he smiles, tipping his head towards it. He’d never been super sentimental before, but something about the thought of him and Ian and their son or daughter turned him into a sap lately.

Ian looks up at him, and Mickey sees there’s tears in his green eyes, and he quickly steps back, feeling threatened by the pained expression on his face.

“What-what are you-“

“Mickey, I need to tell you something. Fiona called me and told me… that Jasmine had the baby last night”.

No wonder he’s fucking upset! “Why the fuck didn’t she call us?” he demands, suddenly furious. He had missed the birth of his first child because the cunt couldn’t pick up the phone. God damn he would have some choice words for that woman.

“Because she’s keeping the baby” Ian sobs, and the moment he says those words, Mickey’s chest constricts like everything inside of him had turned to ice. “That…that’s our baby” he insists, but Ian’s shaking his head, and Mickey’s getting angry.

“That’s our fucking baby!” he yells, “Why didn’t you tell her that! I’m going to go fucking tell her right now-“

“Mickey, there’s nothing we can do. She made up her mind, she just didn’t want to tell us. That’s why Fiona called. We had no parental rights. Not until the baby was passed over”.

“Then we’ll pass the fucking baby over. It’s our baby Ian and I’m bringing it home”.

Mickey’s really shouting now, red in the face, but it’s like he doesn’t even realize it. He’s just repeating himself over and over again, and when Ian tries to grab him and pull him into a hug, he just pushes him away.

“Why’d you let them do that Ian? Why’d you let them do that!”

It goes on like this before hours before he takes off, slamming the apartment door shut behind himself, and throwing himself into their car as he strikes the ignition.

He finds himself driving for hours, numb, trying to figure out what to do about the fucking aching hole in his heart. He hadn’t even wanted a baby and now losing this one, this one he never even got to hold, made him feel like his heart was gonna split inside his chest.

***Ian’s POV***

When Mickey comes home in the middle of the night, he stumbles into their room drunkenly, pulling himself beside Ian in the bed and wrapping his arms around his still shaking body. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry” he repeats, “I didn’t mean any of that. It’s not your fault. I’m just…it’s like I’m fucking-“

“Broken” Ian whispers. Somewhere out there in Chicago tonight, there’s a newborn baby sleeping, the baby that was supposed to be theirs.

Mickey nods against the back of his head, and Ian can feel his face is still wet. He rolls slightly to pull Mickey close, but tonight, they are both holding onto each other, both needing more than either one is able to give.

They cut off all contact with Jasmine after what she did, and even though she wanted to apologize, they asked Fiona to convey the message that it would be easier if she didn’t. It wasn’t that they hated her or anything like that, because as much as they were hurting, deep down they could only imagine how hard it would be to give up a baby.

But they also couldn’t bring themselves to hear the baby’s cry, see what it looked like, or start to know who it was. It remained anonymous to them, like a dream that had almost been in their grasp, but had somehow slipped away.

After a week, both Mickey and Ian return to work, and of course, everyone is tip toeing around them at first.  But months pass, and things slowly get easier. They start to enjoy their time alone together again, and let go of some of the heartbreak they’d both been harboring since the fall.

It’s winter now, cold and snowy outside, but the two of them don’t feel it.

“Does that feel good?” Ian asks, murmuring in Mickey’s ear as he presses a finger teasingly inside of him. Mickey snorts, but there’s already a flush in his normally pale cheeks. “Could feel better”.

“What would feel better? Tell me what you want” Ian prompts, kissing the side of his neck. “F….I want you inside me” Mickey hisses impatiently. “I am inside you” Ian says, grinning softly into his neck as he nips it. Mickey groans, “Don’t be an asshole”.

Ian removes his finger and leans back, sitting on his heels, waits. Mickey’s already struggling though, horny and impatient as a devil, and he snaps, “Fuck me Ian. I want your fucking cock, now”.

“There we go” Ian sighs, as he sinks into him, feeling Mickey reach down and smack his ass in response.

Ian laughs huskily, “Yeah, you can smack it”. “Don’t make me get my handcuffs out” Mickey warns, arching his back a bit into Ian’s thrusts. Ian loves using his handcuffs, and they both fucking know it, but like Mickey he’s too far into it now to play any games.

He’s close, so close, when they start to hear a rapid knock at their door and they pause for a moment, “Keep going” Mickey whispers, still holding his dripping cock. Ian nods and keeps thrusting, and Mickey resumes his pumping, the two of them back in a lifted missionary position again.

As soon as he sees Mickey start to release over his hand he pulls out and finishes jerking himself over Mickey’s stomach, loving the way his own come glistens on him.

“What the fuck?” Mickey mutters as they both get up, there’s still a knocking at the door, more impatient now. Ian pulls on his pajama pants, “I’ll get it. You can uh, clean up” he smirks. Mickey flips him off and heads into the washroom attached to the bedroom as Ian goes to answer the front door.

His jaw practically drops when he opens it.

“Mandy?” he whispers. Her face is bony, her eyes bloodshot, and she’s practically trembling. “Help me” she whimpers. And as Ian’s eyes fall from her face to her coat, he sees the massive bump. “You’re…”

Mickey appears behind him, “Who the fuck is- Mandy?? What are you…” he trails off as he too notices her heavily pregnant belly, “Get in here, Jesus. You’re freezing”. He rubs his sister’s arms as Ian rushes to get her a thick blanket, and they sit her on the couch.

“What, happened to you?” Mickey asks, and as calm as he’s trying to be, Ian can see there’s angry tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry” she says, starting to cry a little, “I know I keep showing up and fucking with your guys lives and I don’t mean to. But this guy, my dealer, he left and…I don’t know what to do about this” she gestures down to her swollen stomach and Mickey’s eyes narrow.

“You got knocked up by your dealer? Jesus Christ Mandy…and what do you mean do? You have the baby, and you take care of it. Stop messing around with that shit”.

“When are you due?” Ian cuts in, unable to keep himself from staring. Every other part of Mandy is skinny except for her stomach, and he never would have expected to see her like this.

“A few days” she whispers.

“Oh my fuck…Okay, here’s what’s gonna happen. You are staying here, inside, I don’t care if I have to fucking babysit you until it’s time, you are not disappearing again Mandy. That kid inside you, it needs you to stop being fucking stupid” Mickey warns, Mandy nodding meekly the entire time.

“You can sleep in our bed tonight Mandy” Ian tells her, noticing how tired she looks. She’s not strung out right now at least, so that’s a blessing. Mickey takes her to their room and Ian sets up their bed from the pullout couch, waiting in it quietly until Mickey comes out and joins him, flicking off the lights before he does.

It’s very quiet for a few minutes, and then Ian hears Mickey let out some sort of strangled noise of pain, like he’s trying his best not to cry but something escaped from his lips anyways. Without a word, Ian pulls him close, stroking the back of his head as Mickey start to mumble into his neck, “I am so fucking sick of this Ian. It kills me seeing her like this. And now she’s bringing some poor kid into it I just…I don’t know what to do”.

Ian nods, not sure of what else he can say. But whatever Mickey decides for his sister, he’ll stand by it, whether that’s her staying here with them, or checking her into another rehab clinic and praying that it works.

After five days of rotating who’s at work so someone’s always at home with Mandy making sure she’s safe, clean, and eating, a scream in the middle of the night makes Ian and Mickey shoot up from their bed and glance around wildly, ready to fucking kill someone. But then the low moan of pain next brings them to their senses and they rush into their bedroom they had set Mandy up in, seeing her holding her belly and grimacing.

“She needs to go to the hospital Mick” Ian says quietly, recognizing the signs of labour. Mickey nods and pulls out his cellphone, as Ian crouches in front of Mandy. “Hey…it’s gonna be okay. Do you mind if I…”

She shakes her head, screeching again, “Please, I feel like it’s splitting me open”. Ian grimaces but takes a look, he’d delivered babies before when they couldn’t get to the hospital in time, but at least everything looks normal so far. “Everything looks good Mandy. It’s coming, but we have time to get you to the hospital”.

***Mickey’s POV***

For whatever reason, Ian’s coworkers don’t question why they are called to his house to transport a woman in labour to the hospital in the middle of the night, but it’s also the night crew, who he rarely works with.

Mickey stands back a bit, breathing out from his nose and wishing so badly he could have a smoke right now as Ian holds his sister’s hand and tries to soothe her. Mandy…his little sister. Seeing her in this much pain makes him feel helpless, and scared, and he doesn’t fucking know what to do.

When they get to the hospital and Mandy is brought to a room to deliver, Ian’s face is a as pale and worried as his own, and it only gets worse when Mandy starts to scream again, “I can’t. I don’t want- I don’t want this. Please! Please don’t make me!”

“Shut up Mandy. You're not making any sense” Mickey begs, squeezing her wrist and pushing back some of her sweaty hair as the doctors tell her to push. She turns her head and then her blue eyes are fixed on him, and it makes him uncomfortable. “Mickey” she whimpers, “Please. Please help me”.

“I’m trying” he whispers, feeling tears spring in his eyes. “It’s crowning!” Ian calls forward, and Mandy’s nails dig so hard in Mickey’s arm that she starts to draw blood, but he doesn’t say a word, he just keeps pushing her hair back and wishing that he could do more to help. “Please…please take it. I don’t want it. Ian…Mickey…take it” she starts to sob again, repeating herself, and Mickey feels like someone hit him in the head with a brick, Ian looking over too in shock.

When a shrill cry fills the room, and the doctor announces, “It’s girl!” Mandy just cries harder, and she waves her arms away when they try to bring her the bundle. The doctor looks confused, and awkward, so he hands it to Mickey, and the second he looks down, it feels like his heart stops.

In his arms is the tiniest person he thinks he has ever seen, blinking up at him through bright blue eyes and the baby is quieting now, her tiny rosebud lips still parting but no more cries coming out. She makes some sort of gurgle sound, and maybe a little yawn, and Mickey just…can’t stop staring.

***Ian’s POV***

Mickey seems to be in a trance for a very long time, just staring down at the baby while it stares right back at him, through eerily similar blue eyes. When the baby shifts a bit and the blanket moves, his staring only intensifies as the soft and now clean orange hair lightly feathering the top of her head is revealed, and Ian realizes whoever Mandy was with must have been a redhead too.

The doctor pulls Ian aside a bit to say quietly, "If she doesn't want custody, we can help find the baby a home". But Mickey's blazing eyes immediately shoot over, as he holds the bundle in his arms, "No. No way, she's fuckin family". 

And then he’s sniffing, nodding his head and looking at Mandy who’s still whispering "please take care of her" to them, and he looks up at Ian, his eyes wet. "Ian, there's a reason it didn't work out with the other baby. It was meant to be. She's our baby girl". 

“Can I hold her?” Ian asks him, and for a second, it looks like Mickey won’t let go, but then he carefully and slowly hands the bundle over to him, and Ian feels an unfamiliar feeling wash over him as he looks at her.

It’s not liking holding any other baby, it’s like holding _his_ baby. The little girl is just…beautiful…his little princess, he thinks. He looks up at Mickey, and then at Mandy, “Okay…okay” he says a little more loudly, nodding his head.

Mandy cries again, but this time with relief, as the two of them hold their new daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's awkwardly spaced for this one, I'm struggling a bit with this fic right now but I want a couple happy chapters of fatherhood for them


	100. And Then There Were Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping it simple, Ian and Mickey enjoy fatherhood for the first year of their daughter's life :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MadAboutMickey, I tried to work in some of your suggestions for this chapter :)

***Ian’s POV* - 1 month later (January)**

Ali’s middle-of-the-night hungry crying wakes Ian up, but he always has been a more solid sleeper than Mickey, so he’s not all that surprised to see his husband is already at their daughter’s crib when he opens his eyes.

“Ohh, is my little girl hungry?” Mickey practically croons, lifting the squalling baby from her crib. Her crying almost immediately hushes at the reassuring sight of her dad, and as Mickey turns with her cradled in his strong arms, he sees Ian getting partially out of the bed.

“I got this, you can go back to sleep” he whispers. “I’m already awake” Ian smiles back, following his husband and daughter out of their bedroom to their small kitchen. He never wanted to miss an opportunity for a moment with the two of them.

While Mickey sits and holds Ali to his chest in a comforting sort of snuggle, Ian makes her up a warm bottle of formula, handing it to his husband when its ready.

They both listen to their daughter suckle contentedly, periodically grinning as they look down at her with new-parent eyes. Even after a month, Ian would often find Mickey standing over her crib and looking down at her like she was some kind of miracle. The little redhead had stolen their hearts and their home in a matter of minutes, ever since she was handed to them at the hospital, and neither of them could imagine life without her anymore.

“All done?” Mickey asks his satisfied daughter once the bottle is empty. She’s squirming a bit now, so he pats her back over his shoulder to burp her as they head back to their bedroom for the rest of the night, still saying in a soft voice, “Someone’s gassy”.

She finally burps a decent one that Mickey declares he is proud of, and then proceeds to spit up down his back. “Uh, Mick?” Ian laughs, “Your daughter just puked on you”.

Mickey struggles to look behind his shoulder, “Aw shit. Take her for a second?” He peels his messy shirt off and tosses it into their ever-growing pile of laundry, before he climbs back into their bed, shirtless, and pats the space beside him.

“Just let her sleep here tonight” he yawns, and as their daughter lays between them in their bed, moving her tiny fists as she looks up at the plain ceiling before she starts to fall asleep again, the two of them watch her protectively.

“God I love her” Mickey says aloud, and Ian smiles into his pillow. The amount of times his husband had said that out loud was almost amusing, because Mickey had been the one scared to have children in the first place. But now here he was, and Ali had him wrapped around her perfect little finger without even trying.

Ian leans over their sleeping daughter carefully to give his husband a warm kiss, before the two of them close their eyes and join their daughter in a peaceful sleep.

***Mickey’s POV* - (April)**

It’s a crowded morning at their kitchen table, as the two of them get ready for work and simultaneously make breakfast for themselves and their guests. Iggy, who had stayed over the night before, and Debbie, who’s babysitting for them today. There’s also a laptop on their table crammed amongst the plates, and it’s connected to a video call with Mandy, who’s allowed to Skype family from her rehab centre on scheduled days.

“She’s already getting big” Mandy comments with a little smile, waving to Ali as she takes another mouthful of mushy food from her dad.

Mandy never said she regretted her decision to let Ali be raised by Ian and Mickey, but she had named her biological daughter before she passed over her rights and became her aunt instead. She still wasn’t entirely stable with her own health, but she did keep in contact while she was in the centre, and that was a blessing.  

Mickey grins, “Yup, she eats a lot. Like me”. “Hopefully she doesn’t have your sweet tooth” Ian teases, nodding his head at Mickey’s Nutella slathered toast.

Hopefully she does. “You’ll be outnumbered Gallagher” he says back, raising an eyebrow meaningfully, “Anyways Mandy, she’s got her four-month shots and check-up tomorrow, so we’ll let you know how that goes. We both took the day off”.

Mandy nods from the screen, smiling again as he tries to convince Ali to take her last bite of pureed apple. But the look on Ali’s face says she is concentrating about something else, and Mickey glances over at Ian, who’s watching her expression with apparently the same thought.

“Somebody pooped”.

“Wasn’t me” Iggy says with a grin, chewing on his toast loudly as Debbie rolls her eyes. Mickey lifts Ali up from her highchair to change her smelly diaper, but Ian gently takes her away from him, “You’ve already got your uniform on. If you get anything on it you’ll be late”.

Iggy laughs, “I thought pigs loved rolling in shit”. Mickey flips his brother off, “Don’t you have some place to be fucknuts?”

“No, you’re giving me a ride, remember?”

Actually, he forgot. His brother never really had gotten over the ‘hilarious’ idea of his younger brother ending up as a police officer, and he thought it was even more hilarious riding in the cruiser up front with him instead of in the back seat like they did in some of their juvenile days.

Mickey frowns, “Fine, but we gotta get going. I’m on patrol for eight. Debbie, her stuff is in the usual place, and there’s a new pack of butt wipes in the closet if you run out. Ian, I love you, have a good day, Ali…come here baby”.

He leans in to give her a kiss on her tufty red hair before he straightens up to give his husband a kiss goodbye on the lips, and then he points an annoyed finger at his brother.

“Iggy, MOVE. Now”.

***Ian’s POV*  (May)**

“That doctor is a fucking idiot Ian, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about” Mickey grumbles as he throws himself into their car impatiently. Ian finishes buckling Ali into her car seat in the back and then settles in beside her for the drive home.

As Mickey starts the car, Ali lets out a small but obvious cough.

“There! She did it again!” Mickey says, his worried blue eyes flashing in the mirror to the backseat. Ian caresses their daughter’s red hair, “Mickey, he said it’s just a cold. My siblings had these all the time when they were babies, it’s totally normal”.

“It’s summer Ian. I think we should find a new one. Or get a second opinion”.

Ian tries not to roll his eyes, but he finds himself smiling. “We can look into it” he says, just to satisfy his husband. When they get home from their doctor’s appointment, he puts Ali down in their bedroom for a nap, and then he comes out to find Mickey bent over and digging underneath the kitchen sink for god knows what.

Appreciating the view for a moment, Ian then comes up behind Mickey and presses himself against him, grinning as his husband straightens up, “Jesus Ian, already hard?”

He can hear the smirk in husband’s tone, but he isn’t very apologetic about it. “We don’t get a ton of opportunities like we used to Mick, and besides, you know anytime you bend over in front of me… it’s fair game”.

Mickey turns in his arms to look at him appreciatively for a moment, before kissing his neck, causing Ian to sigh, “Couch, now”.

Right as he’s on the brink of finishing, they hear a sneeze on the baby monitor from their bedroom and Mickey immediately freezes underneath him, “You hear that?” he asks, getting ready to throw Ian off of him.

“No” Ian lies, still thrusting. There’s parenting, and there’s overparenting, and Mickey is turning out to be the second type. Although, he didn’t have as much experience as Ian did, and it was kinda cute how much he worried about their baby girl.  

He even finds Mickey hunched over the computer later that night after dinner, furiously googling, and when he comes up behind him, he sees a list of results for ‘baby has cold’. Lowering their happy baby to show his husband, he points out, “Mick, she’s fine. Look. Happy as ever”.

Ali reaches out to touch Mickey’s face, and he scrunches it as she grabs at his eyes, nose, anything she can get her chubby little hands on. Mickey finally grins, “Alright, alright. Just worried or whatever. I don’t know what’s normal”.

“No one expects you to know everything right off the bat. You’re a good dad Mick, and to be honest, it’s pretty hot” Ian says, smirking.

Mickey rolls his eyes, but its obvious from his blush that he enjoys the compliment.

***Mickey’s POV* (August)**

“I should have the vandal reports for Pitcher Street done for tomorrow” Mickey says, pinching the bridge of his nose as he updates his supervisor over the phone. Seemed like there was always somebody on his fucking back to get something done on time at work, and some days the stress eats at him.

He glances upwards when he sees some movement coming towards his desk, and feels a smile cross his face as he sees it’s Ian and Ali.

Their bouncy daughter is strapped to a chest carrier on his husband, and Ian playfully lifts Ali’s little arm to make her wave hello to him.

“Yep, yeah I got it. Tomorrow for sure. Bye” Mickey quickly hangs up the phone and pushes his chair back, leaning back and appreciating the view of his husband and his daughter for a moment.

As Ali had gotten older, her eyes had shifted to more of a green color, and she actually looked a little bit like Ian now, much to their delight. When strangers complimented her and said she looked just like her dad, meaning Ian, neither of them ever corrected by explaining there was no biological relation.

Ian stops at Mickey’s desk and touches the picture frame on it fondly for a moment. He’d given it to him as a gift for his birthday a few months ago, their first ever family photo framed for him to keep on his desk, and he had displayed it proudly ever since.

“You ready to get some lunch?” Ian asks, smiling as some of Mickey’s coworkers come over to say hello to the baby. When Ian had the day off and Mickey was stuck on desk duty, they almost always planned to have lunch together. It was the best part of those days.

“Starved. Let’s go. Everyone fuck off” Mickey says jokingly, waving his hand at his coworkers to shoo. “What’s for lunch?” he asks, looking sideways at his husband. Ian blushes, “Sandwiches, unless you wanna go out for something”.

Mickey grabs his ass with a grin, “I’m good with staying in”.

***Ian’s POV* (September)**

Ian notices Ali keeps trying to reach over his shoulder at something while they are at the grocery store waiting in line to check out, and finally he turns around to see another man behind him holding a drooling baby that’s very interested in Ali.

“Your daughter is beautiful” the man smiles, “This is Jeremy. Eight months old and already loves the ladies”. Ian laughs, “Ali, she’s nine months. He’s cute, hey little guy”.

“Yeah” the guy laughs as his son reaches forward for Ali again, so Ian moves closer to let them check each other out. The little boy grabs Ali’s hand and she lets out a happy gurgle, and Ian flushes with pride at how cute she is, but then the dad says something that has Mickey clearing his throat and turning right around to join the conversation.

“Looks like our kids like each other. My wife is always saying Jer will have a girlfriend before he’s even one”.

Mickey appears at Ian’s side and looks down at the two babies, clearly unimpressed with the displays of affection from the little boy towards his daughter, “They’re babies. She’s not his fuckin girlfriend, and I don’t who you think you-“

“Mick” Ian says, giving him a nudge, “It was a joke”.

The dad laughs, “Yeah I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sure if I had a little girl I’d be worried about her growing up some day too. It’s different with boys”.

Mickey sniffs and takes Ali from Ian, “She’s not even one. She’s not growing up any time soon, so we don’t need to worry about that”.

He stalks towards the register with his daughter to pay the cashier for their groceries, and then Jeremy’s dad whispers to Ian once he’s out of ear-shot, “Jeez, gonna be a nightmare for him when she reaches dating age”.

Ian laughs, “Probably. We’ll deal with it when we get there”. But as he takes Mickey’s hand to walk back out the parking lot with his daughter and their groceries, he can’t think of anyone he would rather spend those tough years with.

Mickey was loyal to a fault, and more protective than anybody else he had ever known, and he knew that no matter what, their daughter would always be safe and loved by him and his husband.

***Mickey’s POV* (December)**

That was one of the fastest years of his life, Mickey thinks, as he looks over at his daughter clapping her hands together with drooly smile as she looks at the pink and white birthday cake Fiona’s holding in front of her.

It had been a year since she was born, a year since the night that had changed his and Ian’s lives forever, in a way he couldn’t have known would be the best. Looking at her smile, and her beautiful green eyes, and her soft red hair, he thinks she’s the most important person he’s ever known.

She loves him, and he knows that he’d lay down his life for his baby girl without a second thought if he needed to. If he had any idea this is how he’d feel having a baby, he would have agreed to it a lot sooner. There was just no better feeling in this world than lying beside Ian in bed, with Ali sleeping on his chest, her little heart beat strengthening his.

And when his husband wraps an arm around him, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek as they watch their daughter at her first birthday party, a wave of emotion washes over him as it hits him that this happiness is his life now.

He’s not sure what he did to do deserve this it, but he’s never gonna stop appreciating it. Not for a single damn day.

When he lays in bed with Ian that night, the two of them holding each other close as Ali sleeps in her crib, Ian runs his hand over his chest before resting it on his stomach.

“Can’t believe it’s already been a year. She’s almost a toddler now” he whispers.

Mickey’s chest squeezes, “Don’t talk like that” he mutters. Ian laughs softly, “She won’t be a baby forever Mick. It’s amazing getting to know her more and more every day, I just think she’s going to be an amazing little girl. She already is”.

Mickey just nods, because his throat feels a little thick. He already knew Ali was going to be a beautiful person when she grew up, he could see it in the way she loved without second guessing, and he already knew she would be smart, by the way she listened so intently to the books they read to her at night, always wanting to hear more.

In some ways, he wanted her to stay little forever, in some ways, he can’t wait to see who she grows up to be.

The two of them lay there and smile as they hear Ali start to move around in her crib, and it sounds like maybe she’s waking up, so they wait to see if she starts crying for them. Ian kisses Mickey’s lips softly as they wait, both of them closing their eyes in comfort, until they hear a brand-new little voice in their bedroom.

“Dadda”.

Mickey’s eyes fly open at the sound, “Did you-“

“I heard it!” Ian says, the two of them leaping out of bed and hurrying over to her crib. Ian lifts Ali right up in front of them as they both stare, and their daughter gurgles happily before she looks at the both of them with a toothy smile and says it again, her very first word to the two of them, 

“Dadda”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I think I'm gonna wrap it up with an epilogue after this that shows them down the road with her a bit older, and with a more established family. I love them so much, but I feel like family life is an entirely different story, and it's time for this one to have a happy ending :)


	101. Epilogue: The Life We Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 years later, one final look into Mickey and Ian's happy ending. <3

 Mickey leans his dark head out of the Grand Cherokee’s window to blow his cigarette smoke outside of the parked car’s confines while him and Ian wait for their two children in the elementary school’s pick-up zone.

Although him and Ian never actually gave up smoking cigarettes over the years, they did stop smoking inside the house, or anywhere where their kids would be breathing that shit in, as per Ian’s suggestion.

Mickey actually readily agreed, partly due to Ian sharing the stuff he learned about the toxins and shit being so bad for kids with him, but more so because Mickey took every fucking chance he could to be the exact opposite of the type of father Terry was to him.

In a fucked-up sort of sense, he had the best role model for a father imaginable, because he had a perfect example of what exactly _not_ to be for his nine-year-old daughter and his five-year-old son.

A lot had changed over the years, where and how they lived, somewhat how they looked, and yet in some ways, nothing had changed at all.

When Ali was a happy and healthy three-year-old, Mandy had relapsed hard and disappeared again with Ali’s biological father in tow to, “ _explore the world_ ”. They of course didn’t get far before Mandy got pregnant, and subsequently abandoned, again.

She tearfully returned to Chicago on her own, and sought out her older brother for rescue once more. Then a couple months after Ali’s princess-themed fourth birthday party, Mandy was in the hospital giving birth again, with a supportive Ian and Mickey by her side, just like the first time.

A year or two earlier when she was doing well, she had tiredly called Mickey to tell him Terry was dying of stage four prostate cancer in prison, and that now was the last chance to visit him if he wanted to. Mickey, only for the sake of his daughter, fucking tried to, but Terry flat-out refused to see him. On the reading of his will, it was apparent he had cut Mickey from everything, no longer even acknowledging him as his son.

But Mandy quickly sold the old Milkovich house, and gave Mickey and Ian enough money from her inheritance to buy their own house in Chicago to raise Ali in. In her mind, it was the least she could do, and half of it should have rightfully been her brother’s anyways.

Ian and Mickey accepted the money only because they knew it was better spent on getting a house for Ali to be raised in, rather than who knows what to feed Mandy’s troubled lifestyle.

A year or so later, their son Wyatt was born on a breezy day in March.

Ali had been out in the waiting room patiently with her Uncle Lip and pregnant Aunt Leslie, and she came into the hospital room curiously to see what all the fuss was about as soon as Ian went out to get her.

She was just four then, still so small and innocent, her wavy light red hair pushed back with a bow like usual, her green eyes lighting up with excitement at the prospect of meeting a new little human being. She had never seen a brand-new baby before.

Not much had been discussed in front of her in case Mandy changed her mind this time, but as soon as she saw the screaming brand-new baby boy wrapped in a blue blanket on the bed between her emotional father and his sister, she turned to Mickey and asked in wonder, “Is that my little brother Daddy?”

Mickey had immediately turned to search Mandy’s watery blue eyes, who tearfully whispered, “I’m sorry”, but both Mickey and Ian shook their heads emphatically, the latter coming to give her a gentle kiss on her sweaty forehead, “Mandy, this lifestyle isn’t safe or good for you. We love you, and we want to get you some real help, ongoing until you are completely free from this shit, but don’t ever be sorry. You've done something so incredible for us” Ian told her, his voice thick with emotion.

They both then turned to look at their young daughter, beaming as she gently touched the new baby boy’s tiny fingers in delight, and then Ian carefully picked him up to have a closer look, laughing gently when the baby scrunched its face and raised an eyebrow at him in the process.

“Mickey, he looks just like you” Ian had laughed, “Spitting image of his…” he looked at Mandy hopefully, waiting for the correct term. She had apparently confirmed her final decision while Ian was out getting Ali, and she nodded at her brother.

“That’s my son man” Mickey said with a grin, coming over and pushing back the blue blanket carefully to look at their new baby.

And that’s how their son Wyatt was born, five years ago now. He was the last missing piece to the Gallagher-Milkovich family. Not longer after that final adoption, Mandy turned her life around for good, even pursuing an education to get herself a real job, while remaining the beloved ‘Aunt Mandy’.

Raising Ali had spoiled Ian and Mickey in terms of their expectation of being parents, because she was an entirely well behaved, sweet little girl that did very well in school and adored her daddies. Wyatt on the other hand, was raising hell from the moment he was born, a miniature Mickey in both looks and personality.

While Ali had been influenced more physically by her biological father’s genes, Wyatt was all Milkovich, from his jet-black hair to his challenging blue eyes. But if anyone could handle a little boy like that, it was Ian and Mickey. They had a love for their son as accepting and fierce as they did for their little girl.

Mickey finishes his Marlboro cigarette and tosses the butt outside the car window, once more gazing towards the elementary school and the sea of kids pouring out of it as the bell rings repeatedly. He turns to Ian, who’s reading a folded copy of National Geographic.

“Did you already pack Rocky’s stuff?”

Ian looks up from his magazine, a strand of red hair falling over his light reading glasses, “Yeah, other than his bowls. Can dump and clean them before we hit the road. Although, we should probably get Wyatt to do that. Make sure he stays responsible for him”.

Mickey nods, making a mental note to himself to make sure they brought extra dog food this time. Rocky had a habit of eating ten times as much as he usually did whenever they were on the road. Little shit, Mickey thinks fondly.

The side door to their car then opens and both Ian and Mickey turn at the same time to see Ali coming inside, her light red hair bouncing on her shoulders as she throws herself onto her usual seat.

“How was school, princess?” Mickey asks, as Ian hands back an after-school juice and a snack.

She crinkles the granola bar wrapper as she opens it, “It was good! Joanna and me were partners for science class, and we’re making a volcano for our school project. Can we do it at our house?” Ian nods, Joanna was Ali’s best friend from school, and almost always at their house anyways.

“Of course. How about on Monday sweetie, after school? I finish work early, so I can help out if you guys need anything”.

Ali nods happily and swings her legs as she then absorbs herself into the little novella she likes to keep in the car. “Did you see your brother?” Ian asks, interrupting her focus as he continues to crane his neck around to scan the groups of kids standing outside and waiting to get picked up.

Ali shrugs and returns her eyes to her book, “He’s probably in trouble again”.

Ian glances over at Mickey with a smirk.

“Why do you always look at me for that shit? He’s your son too you know” Mickey says, raising a dark eyebrow in pretend offense.

“Yes, but he’s _your_ son” Ian laughs, “Oh look, I see him. Mrs. Carter has him by the arm again”. He sighs, and the three of them pile out of the Jeep to retrieve the giggling five-year-old from his flustered teacher.

She visibly sags with relief at the sight of them, “Oh, thank god, I mean…Wyatt didn’t have such a good day today. He stuck glue in _another_ girl’s hair, threw his sandwich at Timothy during lunch, and he told the gym teacher to…” she whispers the next part, “ _f off_ ”.

“Can’t imagine where he heard that from” Mickey says drily, but he raises an eyebrow sharply at his son anyways, “Why are you being such a shit disturber, huh? C’mere” he says affectionately, tussling his son’s short black hair, “No more of that crap at school. We’ve talked about this. Reel it in”.

Wyatt gives his dad a toothy grin, before playfully punching his leg in a one-two boxing stance. Mickey simply picks him up and throws him over his shoulder in response, the little boy laughing in delight as the two parents wave goodbye to their son’s teacher and head back to the car with a, “Have a good weekend Mrs. Carter”.

Ian ends up taking the drivers seat for the short drive home from their kid’s elementary school, and he casts a few warning glances in the mirror during the trip whenever Wyatt chucks something from the back-seat. His boisterous son reminded him of a strange mix of his brother Carl when he was younger, and his husband Mickey.

Wyatt derived great pleasure and entertainment from being the class clown, and was always causing trouble, but he was a good kid at heart. Sound a little familiar?

After they park the Jeep in the driveway of their two-story house, Ian takes Ali’s hand and swings it playfully as they walk towards the front door together, calling back over his shoulder, “Wyatt, don’t forget to let Rocky out in the back yard to run around and play before dinner. We want him nice and calm for the road trip”.

His son races past him into the house for the mutt they had adopted after all his begging for the past year and a half, Mickey eventually admitting to Ian that having a dog when he was little made life bearable, and even though Wyatt wasn’t in the same situation at all, he still thought a boy should have a dog.

So along came Rocky, a bouncy boxer dane mix that had as much energy as their son. “Need any help with your school work hun?” Ian asks as Ali diligently sets up her homework in the living room.

She gives him an affectionate kiss on the arm as he leans over the chair, “Nope, just math daddy. I’m good at math”.

“I know you are. We’re gonna do an early dinner tonight, okay? Make sure your stuff is packed for five”. His red-headed daughter nods, already putting her attention down to her pencil and paper again, and Ian proudly heads into the kitchen to find Mickey already pulling things out to make supper with. 

“C’mere” he says softly.

Mickey turns in mild surprise at his gentle tone, but then smiles at the relaxed look on his face. He leans back against the kitchen counter, and tips his head slightly.

“How about you come here, hot-stuff”.

Ian obliges, leaning his husband even more against the counter as he turns his head to kiss him, Mickey’s hand travelling down his arm the entire time to eventually rest at his fingers, before squeezing them in a gentle embrace.

“I love you” Ian finally says, before reaching around him to get to the chopping board and vegetables.

“I love you too” Mickey answers after a playful smack to his ass, and the two of them make dinner together while their daughter does her homework, and their son runs in circles in the backyard with his goofy dog.

-

“Daddy, why do you always want to come here for your birthday?” Ali asks, stretching to look out the car window as they arrive at the camp site.

Ian looks over at Mickey, who’s currently concentrating on looking out both sides of the car’s windows as he carefully parks their Jeep in the designated lot.

Taking his husband’s free hand, he rubs his fingers gently over the tattoos that are so familiar to him now, it feels like they are tattooed onto his own skin.

“Because this is where I started to fall in love with your Dad” he says, noticing how Mickey’s blue eyes flicker over towards him, and the soft smile that forms on his lips.

Ian had given up on going to fancy restaurants for his birthday a few years back, because that time of wishing and waiting for his life to feel whole was over, and it had been for a long time now. He had his own family, a beautiful home, a good job, and everything he needed in life.

So he looked back instead, returning yearly with his husband and his children to the place where it all begin.

“And this is where you got married, right?” Wyatt asks, his buzzing interest caught by the conversation as well. 

“Yup, that too” Mickey agrees, as they start to pile out of the Jeep.

Rocky instantly lets out a loud bark before he starts to race around towards the grass, knocking over Ali by accident in his excitement. She hits the concrete lot hard, and looks down at her scraped knee slowly, before her eyes start to well with tears.

“Ian, can you put a damn leash on him please? And Wyatt, you need to train your dog better” Mickey says in obvious annoyance, immediately dropping beside his daughter, “Oh, it’s okay baby. Look, barely a scrape. Let me get a band-aid for my strong girl”.

Her breath continues to hitch anyways as she whimpers at the sight of the bloody scrape, and her little brother watches through guilty but jealous eyes as Mickey gives her banged up knee a little kiss before he covers it with a band-aid.

Ian stops unpacking their stuff, immediately recognizing the look in Wyatt’s flashing blue eyes. Like Mickey when he was a teenager, if he got upset he would often just-

There he goes...Wyatt bolts away from them, towards the trees, yelling at Rocky to leave him alone as the clueless dog bounds after him.

“Mick” Ian tips his head, “I’ll go after him, but I think you should talk to him later”. Mickey looks up from Ali, still frowning, but nods in agreement as he gives her a kiss on the forehead and helps her up.

Ian lightly jogs towards the trees, finding his dark-haired son cracking sticks harshly over his leg and pacing, while muttering to himself angrily about it not being his fault that Ali got hurt.

“Hey bud” Ian says quietly, and his son turns to him with a fat tear running down his cheek.

“Everybody is always mad at me” he mumbles. Ian crouches down, levelling with him, “No Wyatt, we aren’t mad at you. That wasn’t your fault at all, ok? Your dad just gets scared when one of you gets hurt, and he says stuff without thinking”.

The little boy, a spitting image of Mickey at the same age in photographs, sniffs and looks down at his dirty hands, “Everybody likes Ali at school. Nobody likes me, they all run away from me, or get mad at me. Nobody wants to be my friend”.

Ian kisses the top of his head, “You know who else was like that?”

Wyatt shakes his head.

“Your dad. That’s why your middle name is Mikhailo, right after him. He had a lot of trouble making friends, because it was hard for people to get to know him. But he’s an amazing person, and you are too kiddo. Sometimes it just takes time for people to see that”.

Wyatt wordlessly gives his father a hug, and then taking Ian’s hand, follows him back to their campsite where Mickey already has their tent mostly constructed.

Mickey takes one look at his son’s tear streaked cheek and immediately looks guilty, letting out a frustrated sigh he shakes his head and walks over to him. He puts a tattooed hand on his son’s shoulder gently.

“You’re just like me, you know that kid? I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was mad at you. That wasn’t your fault, and Rocky was just excited. But I’m gonna let you in on a little secret…” the little boy leans in closer and Mickey speaks frankly to him, “You’re a tough kid. You’re strong, and you’re a brother. That’s the most important job in the world, you know why? Because Ali over there, she’ll need you for the rest of her life, to protect her and love her. Just like I do with Aunt Mandy. You understand what I’m saying?”

Wyatt nods seriously, and then his usual smile returns ten-fold as he feels the importance of what Mickey is saying to him, “I take care of Ali” he says proudly.

“Yeah. I love you Wyatt, so much. Now go have fun, your crazy dog is waiting to jump in the lake with you”.

Ian returns to Mickey’s side as they quietly watch their children and the family dog bound towards the lake, free and happy, a childhood neither of them had ever entirely known themselves, but constantly strived to give their own children.

Mickey shrugs slowly in guilt as Ian puts an arm around him, “I’m not trying to be harder on him. It’s just Ali is so good and sometimes I just worry he’ll just… turn out like me man”.

Ian looks at him incredulously, “That would be amazing if he did”. Mickey gives him an exasperated look, “Ian, I was dealing when we met. Spent more weeks in Juvie than I can remember, skipped school all the-“

His husband cuts him off adamantly, “ _You didn’t have what he does_. He’s got two loving parents, and he gets everything he needs. He’ll never be on his own. And Mick, even though all that shit happened, _look_ at you now. Those two great kids over there, those are _our_ kids. They love you, and I love you. You did it Mick…we made it”.

Mickey is quiet for a moment before he says softly, “I did it with you Ian. I love you too”.

Ian’s hand drops to hold Mickey’s tightly, and the two of them lean against each other quietly for a while, reminiscing back to the days when their teenage selves discovered each other here, in more ways than one.

Just two friends destined to be a lot more.

Later, as their two children fall asleep early inside their tent with the family dog, Ian and Mickey stand by the lake’s edge several feet in front of it, smoking and sharing memories, sometimes fond, sometimes difficult, but all contributing to who they are now.  

Because somehow, two fucked up kids from the South Side had pushed and pulled each other through life, making it through all the challenges thrown their way, and only ever loving each other more as they made a future for themselves that at one point neither of them would have ever thought was possible.

But here they are.

And even after almost twenty long years, when Mickey reaches over to put his tattooed fingers between Ian’s, like he is right now, and turns to give him a long kiss… the sparks still fly like they did that very first day.

 

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been there from the beginning on this one, and to everyone that joined along the way. There was well over a hundred subscribers in the end. Your comments and feedback really contributed to making this fic what it was, literally, it would have never been more than a one-shot without them. So thank you <3 and I truly hope Shameless gives us a happy ending on screen too xo


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